Tag Archives: priorities

Schedule a Moment to Wonder

Up until 75 years ago most Americans lived in close contact with nature on a daily basis. Far more of us lived in rural communities, farming and raising livestock. We spent our evenings outdoors watching the sunset, listening to crickets and marveling at fireflies. But today we’re tethered to our electronics morning, noon and night. And for most of us, our children are leading the way into the all-consuming world of digital living. For most Christians, Romans 1:18-32 is a familiar text. In the midst of a world that seems to be collapsing morally a little more each day we rush through verses 18-21 in our headlong dash to verses 22-32 which offer insight into what’s happening to our culture.

moment-wonder

But I want to draw your attention instead to verse 18-21. I want you read those verses several times, linger there for a moment and allow Paul’s words to sink in. He suggests that if we take the time to look around at God’s creation, we can’t help but see the Creator behind such magnificent beauty. If we take a look at pelicans and peacocks, elephants and eels, giraffes and gorillas our hearts have to pause in wonder. As we gaze up from a rural hillside at the myriad of stars overhead far from the light pollution of the city we can’t help but be amazed at God’s creation.

When Jane and I began homeschooling more than 35 years ago, she would often take the girls to the park or woods or to a nearby lake or stream for the day. They would read there, do their math, work on art, write poetry, develop their nature journal there and more. Set within the context of God’s creation the subject of His creativity and His plan for our lives was almost unavoidable.

Today with online learning, Chromebooks and Ipods, Ipads and Iphones, Google and cable television our children see almost exclusively what man has made–and often the very worst of what man has made at that. Rarely do they see what God has made.

I want to encourage you to get outside as often as possible. Dress warmly and go for a walk on a snowy day. Go to the beach or walk in the woods. Take family camping trips on the weekend or just go out in the backyard to do schoolwork. Perhaps no other emotion is more helpful for young minds than wonder. Let them be awed by an ant colony or a beehive or 10,000 acorns falling from a tree that may someday become mighty oaks. Let them watch birds or fish or butterflies and allow the awe and wonder to soak into their souls.

You’ll be amazed at how much learning goes on in that environment: science, Bible, history, art, poetry, literature and more. Linger in God’s magnificent creation at least once or twice each week and see how your homeschool experience begins to change. Watch as your children begin to grow spiritual eyes that can see the Creator who lurks behind the Creation.

“For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world in the things that have been made.” Romans 1:20a

Ask the Lord to open the eyes, mind and heart of your children and then let them soak in His creation. The results will amaze you.

See more articles from Jane Lambert on Nature Study and how to use the Five in a Row Nature Studies in your family.

A Powerful Partnership

“Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth.”
Psalm 127:4

 

warriors (2 of 13)

This is one of my favorite verses from the book of Psalms.  I’ve learned that whenever I see imagery used in Scripture, it’s time to pay close attention. God has something very important for me to take away from that image.

warriors (10 of 13)

7 St. John arrows; six in the quiver and one in the bow

The Bible is replete with images and verses which tell us that we are engaged in a battle: a very real battle with very real consequences.  We’re in a spiritual battle. In Ephesians we read,

“12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.”

The imagery here is a powerful reminder of a beautiful relationship.  God gives children to us as “arrows” in the hands of a warrior.  That makes you a warrior, busy mom!  And you’re not just a run-of-the-mill warrior, either—you are an archer.  You’re in the arrow-launching business!

I love the imagery of this sculpture.  It was made for me by the son of dear friends, and it illustrates the way we should see ourselves as parents: we’re launching our arrows for the Kingdom, aren’t we?  Notice the way this couple is engaged in battle: the husband, in front of his wife, protecting her and shielding her from enemy arrows.

His wife is not standing by passively, is she?  No—because she is part of a team with her husband; a dynamic duo, if you will, for the Kingdom!  This woman is launching her arrows out into the world under the protection and covering of her shield-weilding husband.  What a powerful image!

warriors (6 of 13)

So how do we launch our arrows?

It helps to remember three key things:

  1.  Our children have been given to us as gifts—as arrows in the hands of a warrior. It is our job to tenderly train and teach them to walk with the Lord.  Ephesians 6 – “bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
  2. We are in is a spiritual battle. We can’t lose sight of this fact. When we do,we forget who the real enemy is.  Our kids are not the enemy. Our husband is not the enemy.  Satan is the enemy.  And one of his prime targets is Christian families.  Gird up!  Be ready. Protect your marriage. Protect your family.
  3. A good marriage is a partnership—a dynamic duo for the Kingdom!  The goal of Christian parenting is best achieved inside this amazing partnership.  This means that nurturing our marriages is of primary importance! It’s not secondary to raising children—it’s essential to it.

kissing

Seeing or marriages in light of eternity is a vision-sharpening experience, isn’t it?

Are your ready to launch your arrows?

Gird up,
Heidi

Heidi St John Guide to Romance

When You Can’t Be the Mom You Want to Be

There are dinner dishes from yesterday still on the counter.  My daughter’s laundry hasn’t been put away in weeks.  The 2 year old’s clothes I started sorting weeks ago?  Still in a basket in his closet.  My husband wakes up early to settle all the kids through breakfast before he goes to work, and comes home to pick up the pieces I’ve dropped throughout the day.  You see, I am 29 weeks pregnant with our fourth baby, and have been on partial bedrest for the last 4 weeks with quite a few more to go.  And so many days are the same.  There is just so much I cannot do.  I want to.  I long to fulfill my typical role.  But for now, I just cannot do it all.

Sound at all familiar to you?  Perhaps your circumstances are different.  Maybe you’ve had a death in the family, or an extended season of frequent sickness.  Maybe you’ve recently moved, or are preparing to.  Any number of situations could put you in a similar spot!  I don’t know about you, but if I let myself, I feel so.easily.defeated in these times.

cant-be-mom-you-want-to-be

 

Last night I was awake having contractions and my typical pregnancy insomnia.  My mind was swirling with thoughts of all the ways in which it feels like I am failing my family.  All the different ways my husband and children are having to pick up the pieces that I have left scattered all around.  In the midst of my defeat, the Lord was so kind and gracious to keep bringing the word “joy” to my mind.  I love when He does that.  I woke this morning praying for a different day.  For joy in the midst of these circumstances that are different than I would choose right now.  As I prayed, I realized that while there are many things right now that I cannot do, there are things I can do!  I can pray for His grace to cover our family and carry us through these days.  I can choose to have an attitude towards my children and interactions with them and my husband that are honoring to Him and helpful for their hearts!

In my house today, this meant that instead of doing a more involved science experiment that I just wasn’t up for, my kids helped me scoop ingredients for dry mix bags of baked oatmeal.  It means that when I started contracting again after 15 minutes of folding clothes on my girlie’s floor while she cleaned, we all stopped, and moved on to playing and snacks.  Because her room being clean is just NOT the most important thing right now.  Sure, I could have stayed there, pushing myself physically, or snapping at her to keep cleaning and making us all miserable.  But nothing about that is helpful or encouraging for any of us.  Believe me, there are plenty of times when I don’t take it in stride.  When I live in frustration and discouragement over what isn’t happening or what I can’t do, I make my entire family miserable in the process.

There are days where tasks must be accomplished – when I have to push through the attitude, or my own exhaustion, or any number of things to get the house cleaned before Bible study, or get a full solid day of school in after a week of sickness.  But right now, in the midst of this season?  I don’t have to, and in fact, it is better if I don’t try to.  Because for these weeks and likely a few months, life just looks different.  It looks like snuggles, books,  naps,  movies, and more electronic time than I prefer.  And IT IS OKAY!  It will not always be this way, but for now, my goal is to relish this time for what it is, to enjoy puzzles and games and books, and to let my attitude about our circumstances not make this any harder than it is already.

What about you, mamas?  Are you in a season where every day requires you to take it in stride?  It is hard, but so worth it, to rest in what He has for us, even in times where we just don’t feel like we are doing all we should.  He gives grace and peace for these days, and will help us see His plans if we only ask.

Learning to Trade: What’s Good for What’s Best

As the new calendar year and the second half of my homeschool year get underway, I’ve been thinking about what’s going well for my family and what might need to be changed. You may have heard this quote by Oswald Chambers:

In seeking the Best we soon find that our enemy is our good things, not our bad.  The things that keep us back from God’s best are not sin and imperfection, but the things that are right and good and noble from the natural standpoint…Very few of us debate with the sordid and evil and wrong, but we do debate with the good.

trading-good-for-best

It’s so easy to look at other moms and think they have everything together. Their houses are always clean, their clothes are always washed (and folded, and put away!), their children always behave, and their kids’ school work always gets done and done well. But that’s not the truth!

Years ago, my husband and I built our house. Because of some unavoidable delays, our construction began in August of that year. On top of that, our contractor became very sick and wasn’t able to do his job, so the job of contracting fell to me. The months from August through December (when we moved into our house) were ridiculously busy!

We did what little school we could do during the construction of our house, but the main part of our school year happened after we moved in. That meant we did the bulk of our homeschooling from January through May that year. I somehow made it through the school year, but the following summer, everything fell apart.

I began suffering from depression and anxiety attacks.  I couldn’t sleep and was extremely tired all the time.  I think all of the stress I had been under from August to May (when I couldn’t allow myself to “break down” because I was too busy) finally caught up with me.  Even though I had finally been able to build and move into the home I’d been looking forward to for many years, I felt overwhelmed and anxious and sad. It took months and months to begin to feel like my “normal” self again.

We moms, and especially homeschooling moms, have a tendency to try to do it all!  As the quote above states, we let the business of “doing what’s good” get in the way of God’s best for us.  It’s not that we are tempted to do bad things.  We willingly avoid doing bad things.  Many times, though, we try to do too many “good” things.  I caused myself months of pain because I was trying to do too many good things.

I decided before the summer began that I was going to take the entire summer off to rest (as much as a mom can) and clear my calendar of any commitments at all.  I knew I absolutely had to have some time to slow down and not do so many things, even if they were good, so that I could get recharged before the next homeschool year began.

It turned out to be a wonderful summer.  I really did keep my commitment to only those things that HAD to be done–like grocery shopping and house cleaning.  We didn’t do lots of play dates or extra-curricular activities or much of anything else except church.  Even at church I didn’t commit to teaching any classes or planning anything.  I felt terrible about suddenly giving up most of my leadership positions, but looking back, it was the right thing to do for a time.

As the new year gets underway, I’m keeping in mind that I need to be sure doing what’s  good doesn’t get in the way of doing what’s best.

My house is not always clean, and the dishes aren’t always done.  Sometimes the school work must even wait until another day.  God is speaking to me, though, and letting me know that it’s all ok.  My main “job” right now is loving and caring for my husband and my children.

The next time you begin to feel stressed and worried and anxious, stop and ask yourself not if you are doing bad things, but if you might be doing too many good things.  Then pray and ask God to show you which good things you should lay down and which ones you should continue doing.  It may be that you are going to too many homeschool play days, activities, or classes.  It may be that you are trying to keep the house spotlessly clean.  It may be that you have too many leadership positions at church or somewhere else.  God can and will show you which things you really should be doing and which ones you really shouldn’t be doing if you will allow Him to do so.  Then, you will be in a position to receive God’s best for your family. And that’s a very good thing!

Finding the Ever-Elusive “Down Time”

family down time busy season For the first time that I am aware of, our Summer season has been chock full of things to do and people to see. I don’t just mean a little busy, I mean “Christmas busy.” Since the moment school let out, we have had a never ending stream of get togethers and events, friends and family to visit, and an ongoing “To Do” list. What gives?!  Most of these things are really good things, and our schedule has been full but it’s been full of good stuff. But a too full schedule wears on a person; it wears on the whole family. God, in his infinite wisdom, has given us a pattern–a mandate–for rest, because He knew that His way is The Best Way. God knows that if we work continuously, there will be consequences. In other words: Take a break, girl!!  But is it that easy? Why does finding time to relax as a family sometimes seem as difficult as a college calculus problem? Perhaps it’s because “finding time” is nearly impossible. Making time is what we are going to have to do to make sure that our family gets a break. It seems I have been living by this motto a lot lately:

“If it doesn’t go on the calendar, it isn’t going to happen!”

It’s true. We can talk about getting together with a friend some day but it we don’t pick a day it’s not going to happen. The same is true for our family day off. If it doesn’t go on the calendar – it’s not going to happen. Instead, things will continue to fill the little spaces on the calendar left and right like little breeding calendar rabbits. Even if what is filling up your weekends are fun things like holiday gatherings and time with friends, your family is going to eventually need a day without any plans to go anywhere at all. Your family needs a day to just be together, a day with no particular commitments. And ironically, you are going to make a commitment free Saturday by making that commitment on the calendar. It’s easy enough once you realize what you need to do. 

Step One: Pull out the calendar.

Step Two: Find the closest open Saturday (or one that you can clear.)

Step Three: Circle the whole thing. Label it “FAMILY DAY OFF,” or as we call it “STAY HOME DAY,” or maybe even “PLAN SOMETHING HERE AND YOU WILL REGRET IT.”

Step Four (the only difficult step): Protect that Day Off like a Mama Bear protecting her cubs!

I know,. . . this isn’t rocket science. I’m not the first person to tell you to plan breaks into your schedule. But I am here to remind you they don’t often happen by themselves. In a busy season, you will have to make it happen. You will need to choose a day in advance and then guard it against all the great and wonderful and fun things that will come along and try to embed themselves on that calendar day. You’ll have to be ninja mom, blocking and deflecting every invitation and favor request. You make it happen. And when that day arrives? You spend it with your family, with no obligations and no commitments. No time constraints. Shucks, you might even unplug from the phones and tablets! Watch movies together, play games together, play outside together, or cook together. Or if you feel like it, chill out in your pj’s together and have a pj day. We need these breaks together. It’s not that seeing other family members, or attending a baby shower, or going to the lake with friends is bad — it’s not! But it’s busy. And while we are advised to rest from work every week, I think we also need to take periodic breaks from “busy.” And that only happens, when we make it happen. Are you adrift in a sea of busy? Pull out your calendar, find the closest suitable day, and circle it, or draw a big X through it so you can’t plan anything there, or fill the entire square with the words “FAMILY TIME.” You can do it! Image Credit: Public Domain, Alex Grichenko

Can There Be “Pro-Choice” Christians?

All life is precious to God.

I wrote the following post on September 10, 2012.

Given the disturbing and heartbreaking recent videos which expose Planned Parenthood for the evil that it is committing, I urge you to contact your state representative and ask them to join the movement to defund this murderous organization. In the United States, a half a billion tax dollars go to fund this genocide each year.

We must speak for those who cannot speak for themselves. Sign the petition to remove your tax dollars from supporting Planned Parenthood here.

“Silence in the face of evil is itself evil: God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.”
—Dietrich Bonhoeffer

___

September 2012
This may not be a very popular post, but I feel the need to write about this as I am hearing so many Christians are unwilling to stand for life.  It breaks my heart, and I KNOW it breaks God’s heart.

A gal emailed me today about the abortion thread on my wall. The familiar argument of the church being passionate about the unborn but failing to care for the BORN is a poor excuse for murder.

You know, I have heard this argument before and honestly it rings very hollow to me, because for as imperfect as the church is, it does a good job of reaching out to the “already born”. There are gazillions of programs available through the church and other Christian ministries that reach everyone from the homeless to the prostitute to drug addicted … every.single.day. We DO stand up for the already born. Many Christians would take a child that is not their own… I can think of many off the top of my head and I bet you could, too.

Update: Below is the third video released that shows the horror that is happening to unborn Americans.

 

The only reason we kill our unborn is because we are selfish. We kill the unborn because they cannot speak for themselves. It’s easier to make the baby “go away” in the culture we live in than it is to bring it into the world and give it up for adoption. What’s REALLY sad about that is that this society does not look down on unwed mothers like it used to and we still persist in killing our unborn!

We have the most pro-abortion president in American history right now … one that would allow me to partially give birth to my child before killing it. As a Christian, I cannot stand by in silence when God has made it ABUNDANTLY clear how He feels on the issue of life.

Even in the case of rape/incest, how does KILLING one of the innocent party make anything better? Surely we would not kill a living mother in favor of her unborn child .. and why? Because we can SEE, HEAR, and FEEL the mother. It makes it harder to murder someone once they’re born. Surely we would cry out in defense of an innocent being murdered on the streets in front of our eyes! How “sterile” we have made the whole process of abortion, right down to washing our hands of the whole messy discussion. Christians! Stand for righteousness! Do not be afraid!

I’m reading Deitrich Bonhoeffer right now — the evil that he witnessed is not much unlike the evil we are allowing right now in this nation. We will be judged for turning a blind eye to the murder of innocent. Like Noah, I want to be found righteous in God’s eyes. No matter what the culture says, we know the truth. We will be held accountable.

Speak for those who cannot speak for themselves. Defund Planned Parenthood. Every life matters.

 

Heidi St John Guide to Daylight

5 Things I Wish I’d Known Before I Started Homeschooling

With changes rapidly happening in our public school system, more parents than ever are considering the very viable option of homeschooling. If you’re one of those, read on.I’ll never forget our first year of homeschooling.I sort of “fell” into homeschooling, and so, admittedly, I was not as well prepared as some of you dear readers will be. In fact, I was about as green as green could get—but I was trying—right down to the flag salute and scheduled recess time. Like many new homeschool moms, I was trying to imitate what I remembered about school. And the school that I attended as a child had a flag salute. So we did, too.As you are probably guessing, our first year was tricky. The neighbors thought we were crazy, my parents wondered out loud about my “ability” to teach our children, and I had no idea how to get dinner on the table and still teach math, reading, and science. Or, maybe I didn’t need to be teaching science to our second grader? The opinions on teaching science to second graders were mixed, after all.Can you relate? Oh, the things I worried about!I needed a class for homeschool rookies, but unfortunately, there were no such classes around.

Homeschooling is the best decision we have ever made with regard to how we would educate our children. But I won’t lie to you—those first few years were especially challenging. If I could start again, I would do a few things differently.

But even so, God has a way of working all things together for good as we trust him. Here are just a few of the many things he’s taught me over the past fifteen years:

Education is Discipleship

“A student is not above his teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher.” (Luke 6:40)Education is discipleship.  This simple sentence has become the mission statement of our homeschool. The Lord has taught us the simple truth about education through homeschooling. And the truth is that ALL education can be summed up in one word: discipleship.Because the Bible tells us that students become like their teachers, we know that our children are modeling us in every area of life. Luke 6:40 bears special meaning for homeschooling parents. It reminds us that no matter who is teaching our children, they are being discipled; and it compels us to examine our own lives, because our children are very likely going to be just like we are.The culture we live in has made academics the “main thing,” but I beg to differ. Academics pale in comparison to teaching our children what it means to be men and women who are sold out for Jesus Christ, ready to give an answer for the Hope that lies within them. Education is simply the opportunity to shape the hearts and minds of our children. There can be no greater goal than to teach our children to follow hard after Christ.

Manner is More Important Than Method

As a new homeschooler, I was bombarded with academic opportunities. Dozens of programs and curricula overwhelmed me at the homeschool conference. I studied my options, poring through homeschool catalogs and investigating different companies. Our coffee table overflowed with flyers and curriculum samples.

If I could start over (which I can, each year, by the way!), I would have spent more time praying and preparing for the manner in which I would be known for teaching our children, rather the method I chose. At the end of the day, my kids remember much more about how I taught them, rather that what I taught them.

As you begin homeschooling, take some time to think about how you want your kids to remember their homeschool years. I have learned that the relationships I foster with my children are much more important than the books I choose.

Fruit Grows Over Time

No one ever plants a fruit tree and expects mature fruit to appear overnight. Yet, for some reason, homeschool parents often feel pressure to “out-perform” in almost every area of parenting, even when children are very young!

Your kids don’t need to be seen as geniuses. If your neighbors ask your fourth grader what the capital of Texas is and he answers “Oregon,” don’t panic! Remind yourself that good fruit takes time to grow. The results of good homeschooling take time to see.

We can place undue pressure on ourselves and our children when we saddle ourselves with expectations that do not come from the Lord. See his expectations and live up to those. The rest either don’t matter, or will come in time. There will never be a teacher more devoted to the success of your child than you are.

Child Training Trumps the A-B-Cs

Is your child disobedient? Whining? Ungrateful? Rebellious? If so, then “real” school has begun.

Training your child to be obedient is more important than teaching addition. Don’t be afraid to stop formal schooling to teach the greater lessons of life: obedience, respect, truthfulness, graciousness, and love. I have met many parents over the years who miss the true opportunity of homeschooling by focusing solely on academics. Their children suffer for it. The parents suffer too, but it’s usually later down the road.

Consider Eli, who served as a priest in Israel. His unwillingness to discipline his sons brought dishonor to his family, and ultimately, grave punishment to his sons and himself.

You will not have done your child any favors if he or she is fluent in three languages, but cannot speak a single one in a loving and respectful way. When we honor God’s ways first, the rest will follow.

Learning Style Matters

Take the time to discover both your primary learning style and the learning styles of your children. Moms who know their learning style have an easier time choosing curriculum and a far greater success rate in teaching their children the best way.

Your preferred learning style will guide the way you learn, and it will greatly influence the way you teach!

For example, I know that I am a visual learner. If I had taken the time to discover this earlier in my homeschooling, I would have avoided many of the curricula that I chose, because I would have known that I would probably not enjoy teaching it.

Generally, you will find that you and your children fall into one of these learning styles:

• Visual (spatial): You prefer using pictures, images, and spatial understanding.

• Verbal (linguistic): You prefer using words, both in speech and writing.

• Physical (kinesthetic): You prefer using your body, hands, and sense of touch.

• Logical (mathematical): You prefer using logic, reasoning, and systems.

• Social (interpersonal): You prefer to learn in groups or with other people.

• Solitary (intrapersonal): You prefer to work alone and use self-study.

There are many books and websites dedicated to learning styles. Check them out! You’ll be glad you did.

It’s been many years since I took my first steps as a new homeschool mom. Last month, we graduated our son, who never went to “regular” school. Like his two sisters before him, Skylar is ready. He graduated in June from our homeschool, and as he did, he was likely to catch a glimpse of two wide-eyed parents staring at him in a cap and gown … not because they couldn’t believe he graduated, but because they couldn’t believe it went by so fast.

With four more children coming up, we are learning just how fast it goes—and how worth it the journey is.