Tag Archives: priorities

Mom Warriors and True Arrows

 momwarriors

I remember before I had kids, I would watch misbehaved children and think, “MY kids will NOT act that way.” I had many theories about discipline and raising kids. Now I have eight kids and no theories.

What I never factored into disciplining our kids was the deep love and attachment I would have for them. It never dawned on me that I would care if they liked me and I certainly didn’t plan that one minute they could turn my world upside down and make me crazy and the next minute become the cuddliest, cutest little human being EVER.

Two of our kids are married with babies of their own and our third is a senior in college. We still have 4 teens in the house and a 10 year old, and with that comes some perspective (not to be confused with having all the answers). They still sometimes turn my world upside down…and then win my heart back in a split second with a simple gesture. I never imagined I could get so frustrated and angry and still love so deeply. The wildest roller coaster can’t even begin to compare to this ride of raising kids.

In so many ways, I’m a very different mom than 24 years ago and, in hindsight, some of the hills I thought were worth dying on, weren’t. But the flip side is that I can see more clearly (than ever) the ones that are. I see the necessity for our kids to hear the truth about sin and our deep need for a Savior. I feel the urgency to make sure that I do everything I can to help them grasp the value of what Jesus did on the cross for us and understand how important it is to own their own relationship with Him. I want the Word of God to be what they filter EVERYTHING through: work, church, relationships, culture.

God says that our children are like arrows. In order for an arrow to to fly so it won’t veer off in the wrong direction, it needs to be “true”. “True” as in straight. God also says that these children are like arrows IN THE HANDS OF A WARRIOR and anyone who has been a mom knows that motherhood is NOT for the faint hearted. We are warriors…MOM WARRIORS. This means that we are in a battle, a battle with a very REAL enemy. He wants our children’s souls and we have to FIGHT for them.

Our kids come into this world helpless, but also as sinners who need a Savior. They are crooked and by the grace of God, we fight to straighten them so that when these arrows are released by our bow, they fly “true” and straight and fulfill the purposes to which God has called them. We do this through training and discipline. Disciplining them for their good, out of love for them, out of a desire to help them avoid foolishness, which God says will lead to destruction and, instead,  point them toward wisdom, which He says leads to life and blessings.

So much of this is done by example, but above all it happens on our knees, because the truth is that the deep work that needs to happen in any of our hearts is only done by the power of the Holy Spirit.  Ultimately only HE can turn our hearts toward Him and straighten what is crooked.

No greater battles are fought than from the humble position of prayer, asking for God’s grace and mercy on our kids’ lives and for wisdom to raise “true” arrows.

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Don’t Let Your Youth Pastor Raise Your Kids

There is no substitute for a good parent.

Sweet mom—do you know how important your job is? The questions this generation is asking are big.

They’re soul-altering big.

They’re too big to ignore. I believe the questions this generation is asking will define our culture.

Several years ago, I found this soul-nugget in the book of Luke:

“When a child is fully trained, he will be like his teacher.” Luke 6:40

Little children who are playing blocks on the kitchen floor will soon be standing on the Senate floor—sent there by another generation of children who are, at this moment, sitting on the laps of their mothers.

Sweet mom, you are in the soul-training business. It's a holy calling. Stay in there. You are doing an eternal work in the lives of your children.

Many years ago, I sat and listened as a tearful mom from a small Illinois town told me a cautionary tale about her daughter. Christian home. Good parents. Church-going. All-the-right-stuff … and her daughter was gone. Anne’s daughter, heavily influenced by a school counselor and deeply entrenched in a community of kids who did not share her family’s faith, had decided to walk away from God, and from everything their family held dear. She moved out shortly before graduating from high school.

… when a student is fully trained, he will be like his teacher.

Anne felt blind-sided.  “We sent her to youth group every Wednesday! She was at every youth event they had! Our youth pastor knew my daughter better than I did! Why didn’t he say something?”

Devastated, Anne struggled with voices that echoed in her soul. She felt the familiar sting of guilt, a favorite tool of the enemy, as it spoke condemnation into her life, carried along by  a cruel consequence of poor choices: regret. Anne regretted not being more involved in her daughter’s spiritual life—but even more than that, she regretting believing that her pastor could take her place in the life of her daughter.

She was telling me a story I had heard many times in my seventeen years as a pastor’s wife—and I share it with you, because I want to speak for your pastor: He wants you to know that he doesn’t want to raise your kids. In fact, he can’t.

Parents, there’s no substitute for being in the Word of God. Your pastor’s job is to rally the troops—to teach, to admonish, to encourage you to do what only you can do: walk with God daily on your own. A youth pastor’s job is to encourage your children toward right thinking and right relationship with God—but he’s no substitute for you. 

I have heard it said that we have “lost” this generation of kids, but I don’t believe it. You don’t just “lose” kids. You lose their parents first. Parents are lost to discouragement, disillusionment and fear—but we must not give in to fear. We can’t simply drop our kids off at school or church and leave the parenting up to others. It is our responsibility alone.  Now is the time. My generation of parents is fully up to bat. We must not fail in teaching our children what it means to live our lives for Christ. We do that by modeling.

Words are not enough.

Our kids need to see us taking God at His Word by being IN His Word. I love my pastor but I don’t want to take his word for God’s Word … I want to read it for myself—and that’s what any pastor worth his salt would want me to do.

Today’s parents need to be in the Word of God. We need to know it. To live it. To teach it to our kids.

The questions that are being asked right now need an answer. Sit down with your kids and take them to God’s Word for the answers.

Sweet tired mom—you are not alone. It’s tiring work, this business of shepherding the next generation. God will give you strength.

“In the day when I cried out, You answered me, and made me bold with strength in my soul.”
Psalm 138:3

This generation of children and young adults need God’s truth in them now more than ever —to be dug down deep, planted in the rich soil of God’s Word. Stay in there. The work is too important to pass off to someone else, even if that someone else is your pastor.

Your work carries eternal significance with it. It carries the weight of glory—the hope of things to come. Your work carries Jesus to the next generation.

 

 

 

 

Dear USA Presbyterian Church: Read Your Bible

Years ago, when I was a student at Multnomah University, I had the privilege of sitting under the teaching of Dr. John G. Mitchell. He always used to say, “Don’t you folks ever read your Bibles?” I wish he was still here. He died in 1990 at the age of 97, but I heard him enough to get the message: we need to read and know our Bibles if we’re going to live for Christ in this world.

I am troubled by something I see happening in our churches. Christians, the people who bear the name and image of God, are trending away from the truth of God’s Word and careening toward fear-based living. This generation of Christians is in a full-blown spiritual crisis. We’re listening to everyone but God. We’re not reading our Bibles.

Don’t believe me? Look no further than the USA Presbyterian church (not to be confused with the PCA.) Last week, millions watched as it finally caved into cultural and political peer pressure and fear, turning a blind eye to the Word of God and declaring that God is cool with homosexuality—when His Word, the Bible, clearly states the opposite.  And they’re not alone:  just weeks ago, controversial former pastor Rob Bell flat out told Oprah Winfrey that the church is “moments away from embracing” gay marriage.

Ummmm.  Mr. Bell. Read your Bible. You’re making emotional arguments for spiritual problems. God says this is a sin issue. It’s not up for emotional debate. This is an issue for God alone to decide. And please. Don’t speak for the the Church. (Big “C” here.)

Brother and sisters, read your Bibles! God is not silent on the issues we are facing today.  God’s view on sexual sin, including homosexuality, can be clearly seen in the Bible:  Romans 1:24-27 Lev 20:13, Leviticus 18:22

While we cannot (and should not) expect the world to understand or apply God’s Word to their lives— surely we can and should expect those who claim the name of Jesus Christ to live by God’s standard. The USA Presbyterian church, in sanctioning homosexuality, is in sin. They’re not reading their Bibles.

Romans 8:5-8 tells us that when we live by our flesh, we have our minds on what our flesh desires. Denominations like the USA Presbyterian church are doing nothing short of granting a license to live by the flesh, which is the opposite of living by the Spirit.

We are living in a world that is full of fearful, spiritually immature Christians. Rather than learn to rightly apply God’s word to our lives, have chosen to “go with the flow” of the culture and remain “Christian” in name only. We have bought into religion instead living in right relationship with Jesus. We have allowed sin to run rampant in our churches and have become complacent—an overcorrection from the equally damaging legalism and hyper-judging we’ve engaged in for years.

It’s fear that drives Christian pastors to accept homosexuality and fail to protect the unborn. It’s fear that keeps Christian men and women from speaking the truth in love. Fear drives “Christians” to hold hateful signs on street corners.  Fear says, “God hates homosexuals,” when in fact, He loves them! Fear whispers, “It doesn’t matter. God doesn’t care,” and the fearful Christian leans in to listen, either unaware of the price God paid for His freedom or unwilling to obey the call of the cross. Fear is not from God.

We must return to the Word of God.  “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7

Power. A sound mind—and love. Yes, we can speak the truth in love. The truth and love are not mutually exclusive. In God’s economy, they’re one in the same.

It was love that caused a holy God to send His only son as a ransom for mankind. It was love that drove Jesus to talk that long walk to the cross. What message are we sending to our children when we disregard the truth of God’s Word?  We cheapen the message of the cross when we live in disobedience to the Bible. We mock the One who gave His life for us when we decide to turn a blind eye to sin.

Dear Christian, you have the mind of Christ. You can know His will for your life!

Our lack of Biblical knowledge has made us impotent in the spiritual battle we are facing.  We want the love of God, but not the sacrifice it takes to walk rightly with Him, and the USA Presbyterian Church is a perfect example of this. It’s time to get back to reading—and living out—the Word of God.  And yes. Standing up for what’s right may cost you, but in the end, we answer to a holy God, not people. We need to do a better job of loving people like God loves them. 

Christian parents need to teach their children how to live in the world and not be "of" it.

Christian mom, let me ask you—are you teaching your children about God’s love? About His standard? About sin?

God’s Word should change people, not the other way around.

Read your Bibles, women of God! Let love transform you—and then speak the truth in love.
You can do it. You have the power of Christ in you!
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For more, listen to the podcast on this important topic:

Christians in this generation are facing a full-blown spiritual identity crisis. We must be set apart from the patterns of this world, and we will either choose to follow God's Word or reject it. Join Heidi St. John as she talks about this very important topic.

 

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Resources for today’s podcast:

New Morning Mercies by Paul David Tripp

Mornings can be tough. Sometimes, a hearty breakfast and strong cup of coffee just aren’t enough. Offering more than a rush of caffeine, best-selling author Paul David Tripp wants to energize you with the most potent encouragement imaginable: the gospel.

Forget “behavior modification” or feel-good aphorisms. Tripp knows that what we really need is an encounter with the living God. Then we’ll be prepared to trust in God’s goodness, rely on his grace, and live for his glory each and every day.

Only God Can Make a Kitten by Rhonda Greene

Only God Can Make A Kitten, written by award-winning author Rhonda Gowler Greene and illustrated by bestselling artist Laura J. Bryant, follows a conversation between a mother and child as the child repeatedly asks “Mama, who made . . . ?” In the end, children learn that God is responsible for everything in creation—including kittens!

Follow Me: A Call to Die. A Call to Live. by David Platt and Francis Chan

In this new book, David Platt, author of the New York Times bestselling book, Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream, contends that multitudes of people around the world culturally think they are Christians yet biblically are not followers of Christ.

Soul Detox: Clean Living in a Contaminated World by Craig Groeschel

As standards of conduct continue to erode in our shock-proof world, we must fight the soul pollution threatening our health, our faith, and our witness to others. Without even knowing it, people willingly inhale second-hand toxins poisoning their relationship with God and stunting their spiritual growth.

Soul Detox examines the toxins that assault us daily including: toxic influences, toxic emotions, and toxic behaviors.

By examining the toxins that assault us daily, this book offers the ultimate spiritual intervention with ways to remain clean, pure, and focused on the standard of God’s holiness.

The Christian Atheist: Believing in God but Living As If He Doesn’t Exist   Craig Groeschel

“The more I looked, the more I found Christian Atheists everywhere.” Former Christian Atheist Craig Groeschel knows his subject all too well. After over a decade of successful ministry, he had to make a painful self admission: although he believed in God, he was leading his church like God didn’t exist. To Christians and non-Christians alike, to the churched and the unchurched, the journey leading up to Groeschel’s admission and the journey that follows—from his family and his upbringing to the lackluster and even diametrically opposed expressions of faith he encountered—will look and sound like the story of their own lives.

 

Dear “Anonymous,” I Was That Mom

I wish there was a giant coffee shop where we could all meet once a week. Because if we could meet once a week, I think we would discover that our struggles are very similar. Even though we live in different circumstances and have unique families, our struggles are common struggles.

I received an email from “Anonymous” tonight. She writes:

“I am not sure I want to be a parent some days, much less homeschool. I am very confused…after talking to one mom I want to homeschool, then after talking to one mom I want to do public school again. I am trying to teach my kids using Abeka, but I got very far behind and now am overwhelmed at how much they have missed. I think they are too far behind to be put into public school. I feel horrible that my 5 year old is missing kindergarten and making regular friends. We belong to a church group that meets on Thursdays. It isn’t the same as everyday friends. I am at the end of my rope. Confused, not knowing the right thing to do. I have been praying but don’t see an answer.”

You know, sometimes, I wish there was a giant coffee shop where we could all meet once a week. Because if we could meet once a week, I think we would discover that our struggles are very similar. Even though we live in different circumstances and have unique families, our struggles are common struggles.

Motherhood is challenging. Homeschooling adds a new level to that challenge. I’d love to tell you that there are “5 Easy Steps” to homeschooling or “5 Ways to KNOW” you’ve made the right decision, but there aren’t. However, I can tell you a few things that the Lord has been patiently teaching me over 22 years of parenting. Here are a few of them:

—My family does NOT have to look like ANYONE ELSE’S family. Period. Not in curriculum. Not in parenting. Not in style of dress. Not in the way we eat. We were a unique family. This realization has brought me much freedom—and it is a constant reminder to me of the need I have to be on my knees before the Lord in prayer.

It’s a daily surrender. Sometimes, I must wait for an answer. It rarely comes quickly.

—Whenever I feel “horrible” about a social situation (for example, I might wonder about my children missing out on ‘regular’ school or missing out on a movie that another of their peers was allowed to watch), then it is a sure sign that I am being motivated by guilt rather than being led by the Spirit.

Yes, we need to change our minds sometimes.  But more often than not, this “mommy guilt” is simply unnecessary emotional tyranny. Whenever I am not nourishing my spirit, I open myself up it. Busy mom, give yourself time to think and pray when you feel this tug. Often, a conversation with your husband and time with the Lord will give you the peace you are seeking.

—Curriculum can be a terrible task-master. By this, I mean that if our curriculum is pushing us so hard that we can’t enjoy the learning process, it’s probably time to find another curriculum, or seek to modify the one we are using.  Some moms flourish under curricula like the one you mention. Others have found that a different approach suits them better. Be open to a new approach.

Remember, you’re never as “far behind” as you think you are.  Breathe. Your worst day of teaching  at home is likely better than you judge it to be.  Your investment will go farther than you think it will. It will have an impact for eternity.  So slow down. Build relationships with your children, especially while they are young. It is foundational to who they are going to become.

—Homeschooling should not make you an island.  Find a homeschool co-op or support group. If your church does not have a support system for you, consider finding one that does. We NEED each other. Period. Find your people.

—The growing years are short. Five-year-olds need their mom more than they need a social network. I’m not suggesting that they don’t need friends; far from it! Rather, I’m suggesting that YOU need friends, too. Find moms who have children of similar ages. Plan play dates and go to the library and zoo together.  This will give you and your child a social outlet.

Finally, plant with the harvest in mind.  What do you want to see in your adult children? I know it’s hard to imagine at this stage, but in just a few short years, if you persevere, you will be encouraging a mom who is where you are right now.

I know. I was that mom.

The best homeschooling advice I ever received from another mom had very little to do with an action. It was about an attitude.  She encouraged me to be confident in who God has called me to be.  

So let me encourage you: Be real. Love your kids. Teach them. Be flexible. Be honest. Find support. Trust that the results of the investment you are making will be worth the sacrifice.  And then, commit yourself to becoming the wife and mother you were created to be.

Be encouraged! You can do it. You’ve already been equipped.

In Psalm 16, verse 8, David writes, “I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.”

This is the key. If you know that God has called you to homeschool your children, then He has already equipped you for the job. Don’t be shaken. Keep trusting. You’re His, and He’ll never let you go.

Heidi St John Guide to Daylight

I Want to Quit Homeschooling

Hope for the burned out homeschool mom from Heidi St. John

It’s the beginning of the year. December has come and gone—and with it, Christmas break.

I think I’d like to stay on break for the next four years. 

Relate much?

Last week, I went upstairs to organize our school shelves so that we’d be ready to start fresh today. I thought I’d shuffle some papers around and tidy up a bit.

The place was a mess. In the rush to Christmas vacation, they (those people who claim to be my well-taught, well-trained, tidy children) had thrown all their stuff in piles. There were piles everywhere. Under the table, behind the couch, on the bookshelves and stuffed behind the door. (So that’s where that last load of laundry went.) I was a little annoyed, but I had a Plan B in mind just in case it was a disaster. (Plan A was a 10 minute-tidy.) It was such a mess that I found my laptop charger, fired up Netflix and set to sorting through and organizing.

Before long, I was in a fairly, shall we say—bad mood. Even watching old episodes of Downton Abbey wasn’t helping. The deeper I dug into the mess, the more upset I became. I started talking to myself. Soon, my talking turned into ranting:

“These kids! They never put their stuff away! I’m always cleaning up after them!”
{Slam old papers into the garbage. Stub my toe—the same one that always pays for it when I’m angry.}

“Why doesn’t anyone ever put the lids back on the highlighters? Is it that hard?”
{Throw four million dried out pens away.}

“I’m so mad! You kids didn’t finish the last three days of work! That’s called d e c e i t in case anyone’s listening!!”
{…throw the last three days of work in the garbage—undone.}

I wanted a break. I wanted to take my kids down to the school district and enroll them. I entertained visions of quiet days and a clean house as I purged, tossed and organized. I imagined what those shelves would have on them if they weren’t crammed with eighteen years worth of math, science, history, grammar and handwriting books.

It’s funny. I was doing the thing I always tell my kids NOT to do: I was letting my frustration determine my attitude. Like many tired homeschool moms, I just wanted to forget about homeschooling for a few more weeks—but I know my own schedule. Two weeks of a break is all we can afford this year. I had two options: quit or keep going.

For the next hour and a half, I struggled to create order out of the leftover Christmas chaos.

Hot tears began streaming down my face as I thought about all that I had on my plate besides homeschooling. “Why am I even doing this? Does it really matter? I hate this! I want to QUIT!”

Just then—because God knows when we’ve had enough—I heard a little knock on the door. I dried my eyes. The door opened and  two big brown eyes peered in at me from under little blonde bangs. “Mommy? Are you okay? The kids said you were crying. Are you missing grandpa too? Are you mad? …Would you like my cookie?”

A cookie. I suddenly felt very foolish. We sat down on the floor and ate the cookie, me and the youngest of our seven, surrounded by big white garbage bags and a lot of self-pity. I was embarrassed to admit that I wasn’t grieving the loss of grandpa. I told my little one the truth: I was just mad and feeling sorry for myself.

She seemed okay with that. I get the feeling four-year olds do it, too.

As we sat there eating our cookie, God worked on my heart. Looking at my four-year old daughter, I thought about how patient God is with me. In all my years of walking with Him, He hasn’t quit on me—and goodness knows, I’ve certainly deserved it from time to time.

About the time we were done with our cookie, I noticed a homeschool notebook from ten years ago sitting on a shelf. It belonged to my now 23 yr old daughter. When I opened it, my heart smiled. Beautiful hand-drawn images danced across the pages. She loved to draw. We discovered this when she was in 6th grade. The life cycle of a salmon. The anatomy of a flower. A report on George Mueller. A drawing of her baby sister. A poem for winter. A terrible drawing of me with really bright red lips … kissing her dad.

My attitude was softening as I thumbed through pages. Those years went by so fast—and these years—they’re going by fast, too.

Saylor and I spent the next few minutes looking through old notebooks from her older brothers and sisters. She pointed out things I hadn’t seen in a while—pictures and assignments from kids who are now adults.

What I really needed was not to quit—it was to see things new; to back up and look at the privileged life I lead. Privileged. Homeschool moms get to witness (sometimes after tears!) the first words our children will ever read. Privileged to know everything that’s on the “scope and sequence” for any given school year. Privileged to take an impromptu trip to see the orcas or spend a day at the library when it’s pouring down rain and no one else is there. Privileged to struggle right alongside my kids until we both have an “ah-ha” moment.

The Privilege of Homeschooling

It’s been 18 years. I’m realizing that math has precious little to do with the reason we homeschool. Grammar is great—but I’m not homeschooling so my kids will have a shot at a high SAT score (although it’s a nice side-benefit.) I’m not homeschooling to feel good about myself.  I’m not homeschooling so that I can say that I do it. (Good grief.) I’m not homeschooling for prestige or for accolades from our kids. I’m not doing it for peace and quiet. If that’s the reason, then I really do … QUIT.

I’m homeschooling our children because I realize what a precious, privileged opportunity it is. I’m homeschooling because I believe it’s a privilege for our children. I’m homeschooling because I know it’s the best thing for our kids—and the best things often require sacrifice.

If you want to quit homeschooling, take a step back. I’m not saying homeschooling is “the answer” but if you’ve been called, don’t quit. Please don’t quit. The finish line isn’t that far off.

You can do it—and it will be worth it.

Forgetting Thanksgiving:The Nightmare Before Christmas

I went to the mall on November 14th this year. It made me sad. And then—then it made me mad.

Christmas is here, apparently. Santa’s got his chair all ready to go. Ornaments hang cheerfully from the mall ceiling. Christmas songs are playing.

As I looked around, I wondered:  What happened to Thanksgiving? Where are the decorations for Thanksgiving? Where are the pictures of Pilgrims and Indians?  I miss Thanksgiving with the Walton family. Forgetaboutit. It’s time to buy more stuff. Everyone’s talking about Christmas. The sales. The glitz. The sparkle.

Thanksgiving doesn’t sparkle. It has a softer glow about it. Thanksgiving offers a quiet peace. Thanksgiving offers time to reflect and to be thankful–and heaven knows we need more of that these days. I wonder if we’re forgetting Thanksgiving.

Here in my neck of the woods, we roll Santa out right after the mummies go back into storage.

Is it happening where you live, too? Every year,  Christmas decorations go up earlier. Every year, we hear less about this cherished tradition of giving thanks. Bring on the gift giving. Americans like to GET things—and in the process, we’ve allowed ourselves to forGET that it’s better to give than to receive.

I don’t know about you, but I want my kids to know the history behind Thanksgiving. I want them to know about Squanto and the Mayflower. I hope they realize what those Pilgrims came here for. They came for freedom.

I want them know that it Thanksgiving would have disappeared altogether if Sarah Hale had not petitioned no less than five US Presidents to make it a national holiday.

In Thank You, Sarah: The Woman Who Saved Thanksgiving by Laurie Halse Anderson, we see a glimpse of Sarah Hale’s spirit. She wrote persistently to officials in many levels of government promoting the observance of Thanksgiving as a unified national holiday. Not a woman to take “No” for an answer, Sarah kept on writing.  For four decades and five Presidencies, Sarah wrote. She believed that observing Thanksgiving was a way that we, as a nation, could be unified. In October, 1863, President Lincoln, perhaps in response to an editorial Hale had published in the magazine she edited, read a Thanksgiving proclamation to “fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens.”

Read her amazing letter here.

We’re missing it if we miss this special time.

But then, we’re missing a lot of things in the United States these days.

Forgetting Thanksgiving, or even side-lining it, is a big mistake.

But then, we’re making a lot of mistakes in the United States right now.

We’ve got to get this right.

I want my children to look forward to gathering around the table at Thanksgiving. I want them to remember seeing their grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles and neighbors bowing their heads in reverence and gratitude to God. I want them to learn that being thankful for what we have is better than getting things.

When I’m gone, I hope my grandchildren remember that their Mamsi loved to cook a turkey just right for whoever would come and enjoy it with us. I hope they still watch “Charlie Brown’s Thanksgiving.” I hope they will tell the story of Thanksgiving to their children. I hope they’ll read Sarah’s story to their own children.

To me, Thanksgiving is sacred. There was something almost magical about driving through town to grandma’s house as a child and noticing that every.single.store. was closed to honor this special day. We took a break. We played games. We ate food. We listened to the stories of our grandparents—and we learned to give thanks.

We’ve got a nightmare before Christmas in this country when we forget Thanksgiving in a rush to buy more things and hurry past it to the “most wonderful time of the year.”

To forget is to miss out on the blessing.

Let’s remember. Let’s stop shopping for one day and give thanks to God for all we have.

Yes, it’s just one day, but it’s no ordinary day.

Take time. Slow down. Look up. Look around. Be thankful.

Gird Up! Christian Blogging Moms Under Pressure

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I’m praying for the Christian blogging community today. I think we’re in trouble.

Not long ago, I got a text message from a blogging friend. I love this woman of God. She’s awesome. Raising her kids. Making dinner, doing laundry, romancing her husband when she can—and trying to manage a huge blog and social media presence in the midst of it all. Like me, she started blogging some years ago because she wanted to encourage moms by sharing her journey. She liked to write. She had never heard of SEO or “monetizing” when she opened her little blog. She was just looking for a place to relax and share her thoughts before she forgot them.

Maybe you can relate. By the way, motherhood makes you forget things. I’ve still got five kids at home, ranging in age from almost 4 to 17. I can hide my own Easter eggs at this point in my mothering journey. It’s not for sissies, this task of raising the future generation. It’s exhausting—even without all the social media, blogging pressure.

I’ve observed something troubling in the past few years of getting to know the Christian blogging community a little better. I believe we’re going through something we don’t like to talk about. We’re treading on thin spiritual ice. I can hear it breaking from different spaces in the ocean of bloggers currently writing about such spiritually charged things as marriage, abortion, motherhood, homosexuality and education.

We’re in a battle—but I am seeing us woefully unprepared to fight.

When I started getting “out there” more in the blogosphere and social media, I didn’t mean to draw fire from the enemy of my soul. I never meant to be on the front lines of an unseen but very real battle—and yet—like you, I find myself here.

On the front lines.

Did we think for a moment that writing about light in the darkness was not going to catch the eye of our enemy? I can almost hear him in a mocking, evil voice:  “Oh yeah? You want to play? Let’s go.” Bam.  It’s on.

More often than not, the darts from the enemy are not like the scud missiles that take out families and end marriages—at least not at first. At first, we just step excitedly onto the social media treadmill—and then one day, we realize the truth: we’re addicted to the treadmill.  We learn that if we stop posting, if we lived our life “for real” and quit Instagramming every precious moment, our stats will drop.  Another voice will take the place we held for a brief moment.

It’s not what you want to hear, I know.  But SEO doesn’t care if your family gets dinner or not.  Pinterest isn’t gonna read a book to your kids.  Your blog subscribers will quit reading if you quit writing… so I need to ask: WHY ARE WE WRITING?

My thoughts go back to my friend. While things looked great online, in real life, she was struggling to manage it all. The pressure was unbearable. Her life was unraveling. Her marriage was in trouble. Big trouble.

I guess I wouldn’t be so worried except that this was at least the fourth such call or private message I’ve received about this in the past year. I am beginning to see that the devil really IS “in the details.” All these little distractions are adding up to big distractions. We’re in trouble.

I fear we have not taken seriously Paul’s admonition that we are in a spiritual battle.

Ephesians 6:12 – For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

The term wrestling is a very personal word. It implies that this is not a team sport. It’s a very personal battle between us and the enemy of our souls—an enemy, that the Bible says has one purpose: to kill, steal and destroy. Do you know any bloggers or pastors or leaders who that has happened to lately?  My hunch is that we can all name a few in no time flat. Christian leaders and bloggers are dropping like flies. Gird up! This.Is.War!

Please understand: I’m not suggesting that you quit blogging. I’m not saying social media is evil. I just want to remind you that this.is.war. If you’re writing for numbers, quit. If your marriage is in trouble, step away. If your blog or social media is getting more of your “face time” than your family is—consider this a warning from a friend.

If you’re still with me, then let’s strategize a little. If this is war, and you want to be in it, gird up.

  • Be in the Word of God.  We can’t be strong in the Lord if we don’t know His Word.

    For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:3-5

  • Be honest. Check your motivation. Is your purpose God’s purpose? If you’re doing His work by His power, your marriage and family will thrive. God will not guide you where you cannot stand in His strength.

    “For we speak as messengers approved by God to be entrusted with the Good News. Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts.” I Thessalonians 2:4

  • Trust God. Sounds simple, I know—but at the end of the day, we either trust Him or we don’t, and we show that trust by living out obedience to Him. Worried about your SEO? Trust God. If you’re writing while your family is suffering, you’re not trusting God. Your blog will still be there after you love on your kids and husband. And if it’s not? Maybe God is saying “not now.”

That’s the part that’s the hardest thing to say. Maybe God is saying, “Not now.” If He is saying now, gird up. Put on the full armor of God and write like the warrior that God says you are.

Too many battles are being “won” in the blogosphere while the war at home is being lost. Don’t win the battle and lose the war, precious friend.

It’s not worth it.

Gird up,
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