I am a wife, a homeschooling mama of seven, and a child of divorce.

Signs of a culture that does not value marriage

And I find I am not alone. Have you been touched by divorce? It doesn’t even have to be your own – a parent’s divorce, a siblings divorce, a best friend’s divorce. All are painful and can directly affect us in our own families.

I have come to believe that as a culture -even in homeschooling- we have forgotten the importance of the marriage covenant. We’ve made it into a second-class relationship in many circles. Tired of your husband? Get a new one! “People do it every day,” we’re told. When we were at a small bookstore in Michigan this summer, I saw a book just for Michiganders on how to get a divorce (unless of course you have minor children… that’s a little more “complicated”). It made my heart hurt.  Even the cartoon captions are heartbreaking.

I want to encourage women to look for the bigger picture.  Divorce doesn’t just affect you.  It has lifelong ramifications on your children, your parents and your future spouse if you end up marrying again.

Now I realize that sometimes, it’s unavoidable. I’m not making excuses for women to live inside of truly abusive relationships. I’m not condoning sin.  But for the most part, we don’t cherish our marriages like we should.  We don’t take the time to nurture our marriages.  And we’re paying a steep price for it.

Moms ask me all the time who to gauge when their homeschooling is putting a strain on their marriage – and I’m so glad for the question because we need to talk about it!

So rather than just give stuff away for the sake of giving things away, I’d like to have a conversation about marriage.  What kinds of things tell you that you need to spend some time nurturing your marriage?  How is your “delight meter”?  Are you a YES wife or a NO wife?  By that I mean … say dh wants to have a romantic evening with you … without the kids.  Does this delight you?  Do you want to say “yes!” or do you cringe at the thought of one more person who “wants something” from you?

If homeschooling is leaving you with little to no time to nurture your marriage and to make a home for your family, it’s time to make some changes.  So here are the questions to answer:

What lets you know that your husband needs more of you?  Whether it’s more time, more sex, more encouragement, etc.  Sometimes is as simple as a lack of eye contact or an irritated attitude (on either one’s part).

and/or

What can you do to make sure that the marriage relationship comes first in your home?

Let me know your thoughts, busy homeschool moms!  We’re talking about the daily stuff of life that causes us to lose focus and forget that you got married for a reason!

**do you already have a copy of my book?** The first person to win a copy of my book today FOR A FRIEND (please send me your friend’s address and name) will have the answer to this question:

What are three things that may signal you are in the homeschool vortex?  The answer can be found in Chapter Five: “Homeschool Headache”

Other winners will be chosen randomly from the comments left on the blog today.

Sing a Song of Solomon, busy homeschool moms!
Heidi

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