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According to USA Today, the number of children and teens admitted to hospitals for contemplating suicide or self-harm has more than doubled in the last decade. Why? More to the point, what can we do to protect our children and counteract the epidemic? Join my guest, author Laura Gallier, and me as she provides parents, teachers and community leaders with a biblical perspective of the fight against suicide and other mental and emotional strongholds in the culture today.

Mentioned in Podcast

• The Delusion by Laura Gallier
• 4 Freedom by Laura Gallier

Scriptures Mentioned

• 2 Thessalonians
• Genesis

Laura Gallier is an author and national speaker initially known for her outstanding resources and presentations on the topic of sexual integrity—a platform she continues to advocate, born of her own brokenness as a promiscuous teen. Over the years, she has become a voice of hope and reason on a broad range of topics, bringing a bold, biblical perspective to some of the most controversial moral issues of our day. Utilizing her award-winning fiction series, The Delusion, and 4 Freedom, the Bible Study based on The Delusion, Laura is particularly committed to shedding light on the reality of the unseen spiritual world.  She empowers students and adults to recognize oppressive, demonic influences and gain freedom from self-sabotaging thoughts, emotions and habits. Laura and her husband  Patrick have three children and live in northwest Houston. Get to know Laura better at LauraGallier.com.

 TRANSCRIBED PODCAST BELOW

Hey everybody. This is Heidi St. John! Welcome to the podcast.

I’m so glad that you’ve joined me today today It’s Friday, January the 18th, episode number 716. We are going to tackle a very tender topic today. We are going to be talking about the culture of suicide that we find ourselves in right now. I have a special guest on the show with me today.

It’s meet-my-friend-Friday and Laura Gallier is here today. She’s written an incredible book called The Delusion. My daughter Summer read it last year and was so moved by it that she shared it with me. I think you’re going to be very encouraged by Laura’s message. She brings a message of hope and healing.

Stick around, I think you’re going to be encouraged

I hope you guys are doing good. Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who’s been leaving reviews for the podcast over at iTunes. We have been thrilled to see those reviews come in. I love this. I’m going to read a couple of the latest reviews that are coming in. We’re almost to 900 reviews or ratings over at iTunes right now. That’s a huge help to the podcast. So, if you’re wondering how you can help – that’s really one of the best ways to do it.

Mandy said: Love, love, love this podcast! It’s current and insightful, but my favorite part is that it’s always based on the Bible and not on someone’s opinion. This is the truth we need.

That is the truth right there. Hopefully what we’re going to be doing today, as we always do, is to point you back to the Word of God.

Speaking of the Word of God, I’ve got several things coming up that I’m hoping you will put on your calendar. Y’all know I’m going to be in Abilene, Texas tomorrow. We’re actually on our way there today. We’ll be there tomorrow for the Heidi St. John Conference. We will be spending all day talking about what’s going on in the culture and offering answers from God’s Word.

The weekend after that I’ll be in Coos Bay, Oregon for my conference. This year’s theme is Miracle Worker: The Life Changing Power of Following Jesus.

I’ve got a lot of things on the calendar coming up. My whole calendar for 2019 is full. One of the ones I really want you to think about – especially in light of today’s topic and what is really an epidemic is suicide among our young people – is this idea that we have forgotten that we belong to God, that He created us.

I am privileged to be one of the speakers for the Answers for Women Conference. This is Ken Ham’s conference. This year it is called Sacred: Embracing God’s Design for Sexuality. Transgenderism, homosexuality, pornography, and premarital sex – these are all attacks on our Creator. And, I don’t know if you guys think about it that way but really – that’s what it is. It’s our Creator. He’s the one who made our bodies to be a beautiful sacred temple of the Holy Spirit. And so, the questions that we’re asking in this generation right now, one of the main ones is – How do we respond biblically to the war on sexuality? How do we view the gift of sexuality as single and married women? How can we evangelize and help our young people who are growing up in this in this crazy upside down world?

I want to just invite you to join me, and many other amazing speakers, and get equipped to embrace God’s wonderful design for sexuality at the upcoming Answers for Women Conference. This happening on April 5th and 6th, 2019 at the brand new convention center at the Creation Museum. So, I’m excited! You guys are going to join women from very many diverse age groups, and walks of life, who are excited to get into God’s Word and allow it to shape our hearts and our thinking in every area of our life. So I hope you guys will join me for that. That’s April 5th and 6th of this year at the The Answer Center at the Ark Encounter in Williamstown, Kentucky. So I’m very excited about that, and I hope you guys will join me.

I have a special guest on the show today. Laura Gallier is an author and a speaker.

According to USA Today the number of children and teens admitted to hospitals for contemplating suicide or self-harm has more than doubled in the last decade. Why? More to the point – what can we do to protect our children and counteract this epidemic?

I want you guys to join me today. I’m so excited that author Laura Gallier is here. She’s going to provide you and me with a biblical perspective on the fight against suicide – including practical steps to help us empower our kids as well as adults to combat thoughts of depression, self-harm, and suicide.

Laura, welcome to the podcast today. I’m so glad that you’ve joined me.

[Laura Gallier] Thank you so much for having me. I am really excited to be a part of this.

[Heidi St. John] So you have been speaking out about this for a while. I was reading up about your career, and what you’ve been doing, and you are an author – but you’re also a speaker. And it sounds to me like you’ve been talking about this for a while – just to advocate for young for young people. Where did you come from? Tell us a little bit about where you came from, and how the Lord has brought you around to a place of being able to minister strength, particularly in this area.

[Laura Gallier] Well, it’s interesting you mention your Answers for Women Conference that’s coming up in addressing issues of sexuality. That’s really where it started for me. I was a sexually active teenager, at very young age in the eighth grade. I just lived a life of rebellion to God. And I had received Him as my Savior as a young girl, but then knew nothing about church involvement – much less the Word of God. As a result, I just made some really huge consequential decisions early in life – including an unplanned pregnancy, a quick marriage, rush divorce. All this is by age 22, mind you.

[Heidi St. John] Wow.

[Laura Gallier] So God got a hold of me, and I realized something so profound – and it’s the message I share and can’t shut up about. Which is that God’s commandments are for our protection. And His biblical standards, although often mocked and scoffed, could not be more relevant. And there’s such great protection in His command. So I started off, and I’ve spent the last ten years having the privilege of traveling around the nation teaching God’s plan for sexuality, and dating, and relationships. .

The more I did that, the more I became aware that there’s a real deficit in the body of Christ – in the area of understanding the reality of spiritual warfare, the reality of demonic strategies, and the existence of Satan at all. Some, even Christians, just kind of scoff like – I don’t know, that’s just symbolic.

[Heidi St. John] Oh I know, it’s amazing. We we’re saying that we don’t even think there is such a thing as hell anymore. It’s incredible.

[Laura Gallier] Exactly. And so, that paved the way for The Delusion, which is a novel that centers around the idea of Spiritual warfare, particularly as it relates to suicide.

[Heidi St. John] I think it’s fascinating and I love that you’re hitting on this. You’re saying that God’s commandments are for our protection. One of the things that I talk about all the time at the podcast is that God’s Word is relevant to our lives, right now. It’s relevant. There’s nothing in the Word of God that was put there by mistake. And if we can if we can teach our children from a young age go back to the Word, back to the word.

The culture is getting more and more confused, and I believe and have observed – and it sounds to me like you’re having the same observation – that it really is demonic. I have never seen such deception to the point where we can’t even say men are men and women are women. We have to say – well, the genders are interchangeable. Everything is up for grabs right now and it looks to me like it’s a direct attack of the enemy against this generation. What say you?

[Laura Gallier] Oh absolutely! I mean Satan’s always been after our identity. If you think about when he tempted Jesus he even said: if you’re the son of God.  He’s always out to undermine our identity. And so, we’re seeing this in everything from the classroom agenda to taking creationism out of the textbook, to the way it relates to sexuality as if the Word of God is old fashioned and irrelevant.

And actually, we learn in 2 Thessalonians that God calls it a great delusion (a throwback to The Delusion and title of the novel). There’s a great delusion that those who have harden their heart and do not love God will get swept up in it. And instead of finger pointing and getting on some pedestal that we’re enlightened and the masses aren’t, it just moves me to great compassion and this is a time to lovingly, yet boldly, declare truth in a hope-filled merciful way.

[Heidi St. John] It’s amazing to me to you say the Word delusion. That also caught my attention. Several years ago I was a keynote speaker for a very large event in Indianapolis. I was talking about the rise of the transgender movement and how dangerous it is for children. I said it meets the clinical definition of delusion. I’d been speaking for maybe 25 minutes at this point. I said it really does mirror the clinical definition of delusion.

Well, the minute I said the word delusion – a woman who was about maybe halfway back in this auditorium of probably about 3,000 people – stood up. And Laura, I’m telling you what, as I live and breathe – I’ve never experienced this as a speaker before and I speak all the time.

She stood up, raised her fist in the air, marched to the front of the auditorium – and it was a kind of a large stage so her eyes kind of came to my feet. You know what triggered her? The word delusion.

Security brought her around to the back when it was over. It’s a long story and I don’t have time to talk about it because I want to talk to you. But, I think it’s worth noting when she came to the back of the stage – and this is how I know it was demonic – the thing that upset her was the word delusion. She said – I demand that you take that word out of your speech. And I said – no. I finally said – why is it that this upsets you so much?

She said that God came to her in a dream and told her that this is how He has made this generation of children. I said – listen, that’s not God. He would never talk to you that way, He would never contradict His word. He said – I made the male and female in my image. This is an attack against The Creator.

And she just began to weep.

And I love that your heart is filled with compassion, because these people are hurting. They are broken on levels that many of us cannot understand – and it doesn’t change the truth of the Word. I love that you’re tackling this head on with the compassion that God calls us to tackle it with as believers.

[Laura Gallier] Exactly. What a phenomenal story and you’re exactly right. It literally causes spiritual warfare and demonic activity to even address these things.

[Heidi St. John] It’s almost like you unleash the gates of hell just to bring it up, and you wonder why Christians out there in the public square right now are being attacked so bad. It’s because it really is demonic influence.

[Laura Gallier] It absolutely is, and it comes on both sides. I feel the need to say this real quick – we have the voice of animosity that says there is no God, and attacks from that perspective. Then we also have that demonic religious voices that want to condemn those who are who are struggling with homosexuality, same sex attraction, gender confusion, and just say such cruel hateful things – which is not the heart of God either.

So we definitely need some mercy, and tact, and love as part of our approach.

[Heidi St. John] Yeah, that’s exactly right. So tell the audience a little bit about the book The Delusion. This was your first book and you’ve got a new one coming out in the fall. The follow up to this, which my daughter Summer is anxiously waiting for. But give listeners just a glimpse into the book The Delusion – why you wrote it and what it’s about.

[Laura Gallier] I had written non-fiction but I never in a million years thought I would write fiction. I set out to write another nonfiction about the reality of the unseen spirit world. I was thinking that this would shed light on the issue of sexuality. We often ignore the fact that there are spiritual implications. Long story short, God got a hold of me and just said – hey, what if you illustrate these same truths. It’s much bigger than sexuality, this whole spirit realm, but utilize fiction.

And I wrestled with it, but then as I got started on it – Oh my! It was just such a neat project. It’s been incredible. It’s about a young man who’s high school has a suicide epidemic. He just wants to graduate and get out of there. He is by no means spiritual, has no Biblical worldview whatsoever. But then he has his own near-death experience and begins to see the demonic spirits that are actually tormenting and provoking kids – not only to suicide, but all kinds of self-destruction.

He also sees forces of good. He sees God’s angelic army at work – but he has no Christian vocabulary for this. And so, we’re also seeing the unbeliever now trying to convince his classmates that this stuff is real, and then battling his own resentments toward God, and why doesn’t God do more, and why does God allow evil. So these very real world issues that we struggle with. We found that whether it’s adults or teenagers – it’s really ministering to people and opening their eyes. So it’s just been an incredible project.

[Heidi St. John] That’s amazing. You say that there’s a vital biblical concept that many parents are failing to even bring up with their kids. And I think partly, speaking as a mother of seven children, I can say these are things that we wished we never would have to talk about with our kids. Right? We don’t want to talk about suicide. We don’t want to talk about transgenderism, we don’t want to talk about same sex attraction, but we need to. We need to.

And when you talk to parents about how they can talk to their kids, and you introduce biblical concepts to them – where do you have them start? Because that’s a question I get over and over and over again – a parent who’s like: I don’t even know where to begin!

[Laura Gallier] Well I love to start, ironically, at the beginning. I’m getting ready to release a purity series an online video series called Unashamed. And even though it’s about sexuality, I start at Genesis 1. We start at the beginning with the origin of humanity, and the strategies of the enemy – and that’s what I am doing to answer that question. That’s what I would say to so many parents – we love God, we love the Word of God, we love Jesus, we love church, and others things. But it’s almost like we think – well I don’t want to talk about Satan, or it would be drawing attention to Satan if I taught my child what this says about Him, and what His strategies are, and the reality of Him.

But what we find then, is that we have these kids who do love the Lord and they do know scripture – but when oppression comes knocking, when depression comes knocking, when these heavy thoughts come – they haven’t been taught how to take those thoughts captive and how to recognize the voice of the enemy and how to recognize his strategies and realize – Wait a minute this isn’t just me here. Yeah. I’m having a bad day but the enemy’s coming to exploit and take me down.

I have to say of all the positive feedback we’ve received on the delusion – we have had young people get in touch and say: I chose not to kill myself after reading this book because I realize now that it’s the enemy trying to take me out because God has a good plan for my life.

That is so profound.

Those parents, just going back and teaching the Scripture. There’s a lot of Scripture that reveals who Satan really is. He’s the father of lies and we can look even back at that Genesis account of how he deceived Adam and Eve and we can teach our children his strategies. It’s like opening his playbook and saying – look we’re exposing him. And then they’re much more prepared to deal with oppressive thoughts and emotions.

[Heidi St. John] That’s amazing. And I think it’s reminding parents that they are equipped. That God has equipped them. I’m always telling parents – listen, God knew that you were going to be right here right now on His timeline. He’s not surprised by the things that are happening around you. And I love that you are being willing with the Word of God and knowing who you are – because really it’s an identity thing, right? I feel like we’re having an identity crisis.

We don’t know who we are, we don’t know who God is anymore, we don’t know what we believe. So we’re not sure where to go. But pointing parents back to the Word of God and back to Genesis. Boy, have you been in touch with Ken Ham? I’m going to hook you guys up because he would love this. That’s what he’s been saying all along – right? Go back to the beginning. We go back to the beginning. In fact, this morning ,you we read through the Bible with our kids – and we’re back in Genesis again.

We are reading and one of my one of my younger children said this morning – Mom it’s right here in the very beginning. God said – I made the male and female in my image. It’s almost like the devil is attacking what God made. I was like – bingo.

So for the parents who are struggling with this. You’ve talked about this before, but I would love for you to explain it. Why do you believe that modern treatment for depression and suicide, the methods that we’re using (we are using kind of a backward approach) – Tell us why you think it’s backward and how can we turn it around?

[Laura Gallier] In our current treatment option we tend to approach the issue of mental illness from a physical standpoint first. So immediately, there’s the thought of – oh your chemicals are off your neurotransmitters are off. From there, we may address the soul, the mind, the will, and emotions through some kind of counselling. Then, very rarely, is there any thought to the spiritual – and a lot of times it’s in more of a mystical New Age, you know, whatever is your higher power – then perhaps you can rely on that enlightenment. And we are spirit soul and body, and I’m not advocating that we ignore the biological side and the neurochemical side – but I am advocating that we flip that whole thing upside down and say – let’s start with the spirit, let’s talk what we know about the fact that the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy. What are the thoughts you’re having. And to go back to your identity – who does God say you are? That’s addressing the thought-life, that’s addressing the soul. Then we know this for a fact that our thoughts are directly tied to a neurotransmitter response.

So simply stated, when we’re thinking positive healthy thoughts – guess what? Our body starts to become chemically sound and healthier – and I don’t say that trite. I am not saying – oh you just need to think happy thoughts. When you’re in the fog of depression, I’m not saying it’s just that simple but I am saying that’s where we start.

That very fog of depression, when we do that through a spiritual lens – wait a minute I’m under attack and I need to handle this with my spiritual weapons. It is so much more effective. And I talk to young people all the time that are battling suicidal thoughts, God just tends to bring them across my path, and what we find is the psychotic medicines can cause them to have more suicidal thoughts. It can cause them to feel numb and just zoned out. So I’m not saying there’s never a time for medical intervention, but there’s a better answer. Mental health is God’s platform. To see our country come back to that, to see us – especially as Christians – to show a watching world that we have a healing healthy solution for the issues of mental illness.

You talk about relevant. I know it’s a buzz word in the church: that is so relevant right.

[Heidi St. John] Yeah well, we’re we’re killing ourselves taking God out of everything in our effort to be relevant. You know, I’m always amazed. I’m just watching churches dropping like flies because we’re running away from the Word of God in an effort to be relevant. And we’re losing the one thing that makes us relevant – which is the Word of God and the truth that comes from His Word. I want to take just a minute. We’re running out of time, but I’m going to go over because I think this is so important.

My heart is breaking. All around us this is happening. I have three friends in the last year who have committed suicide. I have believed for a long time that what’s happening in the schools right now is directly contributing to the problem. And I know that you believe that also. It’s kind of a heavy topic, but I want people to listen. What academic lessons are students being taught in schools right now, that are contributing to the problem of mental illness and suicide in the culture?

[Laura Gallier] Right, well here we go. I mean here’s my soapbox. But how dare we print in a textbook that evolution is a fact.

[Heidi St. John] Preach it!

[Laura Gallier] … that there is no creator, and I don’t even have time in this setting to explain how contradictory it is – and you see it over and over in these you know documentaries they do on the planet. But what we’re doing is such a disservice because what we’re saying is you’re a cosmic coincidence, you’re an accident. No wonder they’re struggling with depression and defined purpose. Not to mention morality.

When you discredit Genesis 1– guess what? You’ve just discredited Genesis 2 and Genesis 3 and the rest of the Bible. It’s a demonic agenda and it’s not even intellectual. That’s the thing, Satan doesn’t want evolution and creationism in the same textbooks so students can decide – because if you put the argument side by side it’s evident that we have an intelligent designer.

So this is just an absolute travesty. It’s kind of like The Emperor’s New Clothes. You’re doing it, Ken Ham, and others are doing it. Somebody needs to say – hey, he has no clothes on, right? This does not even add up. It’s not even logical.

[Heidi St. John] That’s exactly right. I love I love that you’ve said this this analogy. That’s the whole thing with the transgender movement now too, right? – Is it really? Really? We’re gonna believe this?

I mean, we can see with our own eyes that it’s wrong. We know in our spirit that it’s wrong, and yet because this guy said it’s right we’re going to say that is right.

Are you watching this the story of this Desmond, this kid this 11 year old boy, that his parents are allowing him to dress up like a drag queen and promoting parading him around on television? I just saw him on Good Morning America – actually can watch the whole thing. An entire audience of grown men and women applauding what is pedophilia. That’s exactly what it is. Now he’s been photographed with a nude drag queen, and his parents are allowing it, and we’re applauding it because he’s found his freedom. I just want to go really? really?

[Laura Gallier] They keep calling it brave but you know hey – it’s brave to put a gun to your head and pull the trigger but it’s not healthy

[Heidi St. John] Right.

[Laura Gallier]  It’s ridiculous what we’re calling brave and what we’re applauding. We’re clapping for brokenness, we’re clapping that he’s rejecting himself. He’s rejecting that God made him as a male. It’s a travesty.

[Heidi St. John] It’s so sad, it’s so sad. Christians, listen to what Laura is saying because this is exactly right. If you know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, you have inside you the living Spirit of God – what this entire generation is literally thirsting after – and that is the good news, the hope that we have in Jesus. There is hope in Jesus, there is healing in Jesus.

God’s Word is relevant to your life right now. It was given so that you would have life, so that you would walk in God’s truth. I love that Jesus said – I didn’t come just so that you could have life. I came so you could have it to the full, so you could have abundant life.  

The farther we walk away from God, and His Word, and His design for human beings – the more and more lost we become. And Laura, I am applauding. I’m just gonna stand up and applaud. I am so thrilled for what you’re doing. I’m thrilled for the influence you’ve had in the life of my 16 year old daughter who cannot stop talking about this book. I just want to encourage you to just keep doing what you’re doing. I am going to hook you up with Ken Ham too, by the way, he’s going to love what you’re doing.

Thank you so much for coming on here. Where can people find you, because we are almost at twenty-five minutes now but I know parents are taking notes frantically. Where can people find you on the internet, and what do you have coming up that you want them to hear about?

Yeah it’s LauraGallier.com and there’s more information about The Delusion, there’s a free newsletter I do, I have a YouTube channel, a lot of different ways that people can connect and stay involved and really be empowered to be a champion in their own community. It’s all there on my website.

[Heidi St. John] I love it and you’ve also got a Bible Study that’s based on The Delusion, right? It’s called For Freedom. Can parents find that at the same place?

[Laura Gallier]  They can. It’s right there on my website and on Amazon. It’s all there

[Heidi St. John] All right you guys,you’ve heard it here first. I hope that you’ll check out LauraGallier.com. If you’re driving, if you’re in the shower, if you’re homeschooling your kids right now – don’t freak out. I’m going to link back to it like I always do in the show notes today. But this message is important, it was written for such a time as this. And Laura, I just I want to thank you for coming on the show I really appreciate hearing from you.

[Laura Gallier] It’s a privilege, Thank you.

[Heidi St. John] For those of you who want more information please go to HeidiStJohn.com, click on the show notes. These podcasts are now being transcribed and you can get them delivered right to your inbox. Just click on the subscription box at HeidiStJohn.com and it will be delivered every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday to your inbox.

I hope you will join me in praying against the spirit of the evil one who is really just wreaking havoc over this generation. We have the answers. The answers are found in the Word of God. It’s love and compassion. And we come to this generation with a message of hope and healing.

Thanks for listening everybody I appreciate you hanging in there with me for a few extra minutes today, have a wonderful weekend and I’ll see you back here on Monday.

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• Should You Homeschool Your Special Needs Child?
• Becoming MomStrong
• Prayers for the Battlefield
• The Busy Homeschool Mom’s Guide to Daylight
• The Busy Homeschool Mom’s Guide to Romance
• Scripture Writing Booklet

• Galatians 2:20
• Colossians 2:6-7
• Hebrews 4:14-16
• 1 Peter 5:6-7
• Philippians 4:6
• James 5:16
• James 5:17-18
• Nehemiah 4:9
• Acts 12:5
• Acts 12:12

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• The Power of Prayer
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• Biblical Discernment
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Podcast (hsj): Play in new window | Download (Duration: 24:31 — 16.8MB)

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It’s that time of year… the time when we battle burnout. After all, the holidays are behind us and we’ve still got… well, months of school left. Listen today as I unpack some great wisdom on organization and scheduling from my book, “The Busy Homeschool Mom’s Guide to Daylight.” Even if you’re not homeschooling, these timeless time management skills will bless and encourage you!

Mentioned in Podcast 

• Busy Homeschool Mom’s Guide to Daylight, by Heidi St. John
• Sign up for my FREE Essential Oils class that will be from January 15th through the 21st

Scripture Mentioned

• James 1:5-6

TRANSCRIBED PODCAST BELOW

Good morning everybody, this is Heidi St. John. Welcome to the Heidi St. John podcast. Today is Friday! Woot-Woot! Moment of silence. We made it to Friday.

Today’s Friday the 11th of January. Today we’re gonna be talking a little bit to the mom who feels harried and and stressed out and burned out. It’s that time of year. This is the time when we battle burnout. So today I’m going to be talking about some ideas for wisdom and organization on scheduling from my book The Busy Homeschool Mom’s Guide to Daylight. Even if you’re not homeschooling these timeless time management skills are going to bless and encourage you! So, stick around!

I’m reading the news! I decided that one of my New Year’s resolutions was going to be to stop reading the news. But you people keep sending me articles and I got to say – I’m battling. Boy you guys – in another life I’d run for office. In Washington D.C. on January 3rd, this came out of Life Site News – I realize it was last week, but this is going on.

Democrats wasted no time asserting their priorities upon taking over the U.S. House of Representatives this week, proposing legislation to fund the federal government which would at the same time reverse one of President Donald Trump’s earliest pro-life accomplishments.

Source: LifeStieNews

This is off of Life Site news.

The federal government has been partially shut down since Trump, facing pressure from conservatives, decided at the last minute in December to reject a government funding bill that didn’t include $5 billion to begin constructing the southern border wall he campaigned on. While the media is filled with distress over the shutdown and uncertainty over whether Democrats or Republicans will blink first, most of the government was already funded and remains in operation.

Following her return to the office of House Speaker Thursday, Democrat leader Nancy Pelosi announced that her party would be “offering the Senate Republican Appropriations [Committee] legislation to reopen the government later today,” Fox News reports. The proposal would fund the Department of Homeland Security until February 8 and other federal departments until the end of September.

The bill has been a political non-starter because it lacks wall funding, however, and pro-lifers are warning that it would also repeal the Mexico City Policy (now called Protecting Life in Global Health Assistance) that Trump reinstated shortly after taking office and later expanded. That would make foreign entities that commit or promote abortions once again eligible for foreign aid.

Source: LifeStieNews

I’m stunned. I really am.

The plan would also give $37.5 million to the United Nations Population Fund, from which Trump withdrew in 2017 over its participation in China’s forced abortion regime.

Source: LifeStieNews

You guys, these are leaders. Just let that let that sink in.

“This move shows the House Democrats are so radically pro-abortion that they are more concerned with pushing their abortion agenda on the American people than finding common ground to end the government shutdown,” Live Action president Lila Rose responded. While Trump and Senate Republicans “failed last session to pass a law preventing the American taxpayer from funding Planned Parenthood,” they “now have a duty to stand firm and block such outrageous attempts to have the American taxpayer fund and promote abortion programs across the globe.”

Source: LifeStieNews

This comes on the heels, by the way, of a video that was made. I don’t know if I commented on it last week or not. A video that was made the first week in January by the woman who started the Shout-Your-Abortion movement where she interviewed children and talked to them about abortion.

She’s had an abortion and they were like – well that’s probably OK. I think it’s OK and she said – really, it’s just like having a bad dentist appointment. Really? Taking human life now is about a bad dentist appointment?

I mean I just I’m horrified that we have such ridiculous people in our government. I’m horrified that Christians didn’t stand up and prevent this from happening and we need to pray because as the Democrats have taken control of the House they are introducing all kinds of legislation that is anti-life.

I’ve seen Congress women speaking so disrespectfully about our president that I couldn’t even share the links on social media. And if I ever needed to be reminded that we need to be in prayer for our country – now is the time. So I want to just encourage you – be praying for our president. I spent some time in prayer this morning just praying for Vice President Pence. I know that he knows the Lord and He is the closest adviser to The President. And so, I’m praying that he would be an influential person in President Trump’s life. I’m praying for our president. He needs our prayers. I don’t understand this obstructionist mindset that we would rather see the president fail. Do I love everything he does? no.

But oh my goodness he really has been the most pro-life president that we’ve had in a hundred years. So, we need to be praying for him. I don’t know about you but I am. I’ve been praying for many many years that abortion would not only become illegal in this nation, that it would become unthinkable. Unthinkable that we would take the life of an innocent human baby. It’s unbelievable to me.

Also, in other news, I’ve got a new book coming out – Bible Promises for Moms – releases in March. I am really excited about this. It’s like a handbook. It’s your go-to take-you-straight-to-the-Word-of-God for every issue that you’re facing as a mother. God’s word is not silent on the issues that we’re facing.

Someone told me the other day that they loved a quote that they had heard and never know who said it. I wish I did because I love to give them credit.

But he said: Don’t tell me that God is silent when your Bible is sitting closed on your desk.

Don’t tell me that God is silent. He’s not silent. He cares about what we’re going through right now. For those of you who are following along with me in the Scripture Writing Challenge, today’s verse comes out of James 1:5-6.

If any of you lacks wisdom you should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault and it will be given to you. But when you ask you must believe and not doubt because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea blown and tossed by the wind.

I thought that was appropriate since I’m out on the sea on the open waters right now. My husband and I are speaking for the Florida Parent Educators Association. Today is our last day before we come into port, and this is our first cruise! I told you – we’re celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary all year until we actually hit it in September.

And so I thought – this is great. If you believe, then you won’t be like the one who doubts, who’s like a wave of the sea – blown and tossed by the wind. And where do we get wisdom? We get it from God. We talked about that last Wednesday for the MomStrong International Bible Study. And I told you I was going to come back on Friday and continue talking to you about priorities. We’ve been talking about them for the whole month of January. And I want to just frame it a little bit today to talk about them in the context of homeschooling. But even if you’re not homeschooling – these principles apply to you. So I’m going to read to you a little bit out of The Busy Homeschool Mom’s Guide to Daylight. if you haven’t picked it up yet you can find it on Amazon, you can find it at HeidiStJohn.com – click on the store.

More frequently, I think than almost any other question I get when I’m speaking at conferences is – how do you do it all? How do you do homeschooling? How do you homeschool all your children? How do you write books? How are you blogging? blah blah blah.

Well here’s the thing. A couple of things actually that come to my mind right away. The first one is that there is a unique grace over my life for the thing that I’m doing. Just like there’s a unique grace over your life or the thing that God wants you to do. He’ll give you the grace to do it but it requires, on your part, that you seek Him for the wisdom that you need so that He can help you prioritize your time.

So this comes out of Chapter 1 in The Guide to Daylight. There’s a whole lot of great nuggets of information in here for you, but every single chapter is a different kind of daylight. So intentional daylight is chapter one, organized daylight, scheduled daylight, hungry daylight, discourage daylight, consolidated daylight, wasted daylight, and surrender daylight. Basically, I’m just talking about different aspects of surrendering your day to the Lord and the first part is about getting in touch with what God wants you to do — which is to learn to be intentional. So this is the first part:

‘Good morning Portland! 6:45 a.m. and traffic into downtown is at a virtual standstill this morning. Plan on taking an alternate route if you want to avoid the mess on I5 today.’

The voice of a local radio station personality woke me up from a deep sleep and I began to regret putting my alarm clear across the room. Is it already time to get up? Time to try this homeschool thing again? Time to see exactly how much resolve I could muster up to face another day? Daylight had come back again. I stumbled to the alarm clock and shut it off 6:45 A.M. and I was already feeling behind. Unanswered emails taunted me from my computer.

Which was a desktop, by the way.

And there on my side table side, a devotional book that I promised to read three weeks ago – was looking rather dusty. As I made my way to the shower I picked up the book, blew off the dust, and placed it back on the shelf where it wouldn’t remind me of all the things I wished I was doing, but wasn’t. As I walk past the dresser mirror I caught a glimpse of a pregnant woman I barely recognized. Whoever you are you better get a grip, I mused. I toyed with the idea of letting the kids sleep in for my sake. I wasn’t ready to face the day. Why was it so hard? I’ve been homeschooling for about a year and a half, and it was getting the better of me. This was certainly not what I had envisioned when the Lord so clearly changed my heart and directed my husband and me to bring our oldest daughter home from school – and begin the journey of homeschooling.

My kids didn’t look like the ones that graced the covers of those homeschool magazines. It seemed that just when I got something down in one area of the house, another would need improving. What about the mom I met at the homeschool convention this past June? I wondered how she was still breathing. She had something like 19 kids and I felt lazy for only having three.

There’s so much to do. Laundry called my name from several hampers in the house. I had no idea what I was going to do for dinner and forget about all the paperwork that was piling up in the office – bills to pay, forms to fill out. I was homeschooling all right, but that was it. The rest of my life was unraveling. I wondered if there was a better way to homeschool. Less stressful, more joyful, less burdensome, more life-giving. Often I found myself giving comfort to another mom and I felt in my own spirit.

I didn’t have much to offer. My time with the Lord was suffering terribly and in my heart I knew there had to be a better way. I had heard that His yoke was easy but I had yet to experience it. Something had to give. As I looked around my bedroom that morning I made a decision a monumental decision. Here it is: in the interests of self-preservation.

I decided to skip school for the day.

Can I get a witness?

After a few more moments of relative peace and quiet, and after savoring my morning cup of tea, I decided to go to the grocery store to clear my head. So I packed up the toddler and put my two older girls in the car. We headed into town even though I was feeling slightly guilty for skipping school. I figured the break would do me good however, and it was certainly better than the alternative – which may or may not have involved in-patient therapy. It was about 10:30 a.m. and we arrived at the grocery store. And in hindsight, I think staying home might have been a better idea.

‘Oh I could never do that.’ This was the wide-eyed response of the grocery store cashier. After she casually asked the children if they were taking a sick day from school.

The moment my children told her they were homeschooled it became obvious by the look in her eyes that she thought I was perfectly insane. ‘You got to have a whole lot more patience than me’ she stammered. ‘Because I’d have to be shipped off to the funny farm if I couldn’t put my kids in school. I don’t know how you people do it? How old are you? You must be exhausted. Well good luck. Thanks for shopping with us today.’

Well, maybe it was the fact that I was seven months pregnant with our fourth child. Or maybe it was the knowledge that I was going home to a messy kitchen complete with school books, pencils, markers, and papers all over the kitchen table. I’m not sure. But for some reason her remark stung more than they usually would. It wasn’t like I had never heard them before, but this time, this time I wanted to drop my bag of canned goods right there on the floor and give her the what-for. I know what stopped me frankly.

I like to think that I was just trying not to give other homeschool moms a bad reputation. Trust me, it would have stuck. I managed to half smile and said something to the effect of not having as much patience as she thought, and quickly left the store.

No, I don’t have the patience of Job, I muttered. It’s not about patience. If it was, I would have quit a long time ago.

Can you guys relate to being mistaken for a mom has supernatural patience? Because I’m thinking that you can, and most homeschooling moms know the truth about patience being a prerequisite for homeschooling. And in fact, any homeschool mom who’s been at this for more than five minutes will tell you that patience has nothing to do with it.

Longevity and homeschooling is not about patience. It’s the result of resolve and obedience. It’s about knowing why we’re homeschooling instead of just how.

See, here’s what I think – and I wrote this a while ago – and as I look back now, and I’m watching my own daughter coming up homeschooling her children – I’m having to remind myself to remind her that Spirit-led-homeschooling brings with it a quiet confidence that comes from knowing that: even on the days when I don’t feel like I’ve been successful at all – God’s got my back.

You guy, I said this to a couple days ago —  they belonged to God before they belong to you. This is why abortion grieves me so much. God knit each one of our children together with the foreknowledge that we would be their mother. He knew that you’d be homeschooling them. And you guys – His plan for you and for them is vastly more important than our dinner plans or our fancy scheduling. It’s really true! But it’s so important that you have a plan. We can’t just go into this thing without a plan. We got to understand that we’re not alone in doing this – you’re really not. There are other moms who are struggling just like you are. You’re not alone, but you gotta have a plan.

And I want to just encourage you today as you come up with that plan, and I’m going to give you a couple of ideas to take it one step further. But the first thing is – you want to come up with a plan to seek the Lord, and then you want to come up with a schedule. So if you’re not yet doing this, I hope you guys will join me. This is why I started MomStrong International. Any of you can do it. It’s it’s an opportunity for you to get into the Word of God every day and say – Lord, I need your help. I can’t do this without you. I can’t raise my kids without you. I can’t homeschool without you. I can’t even get dinner on the table without the Lord just saying – you can do this.

We need each other, and we need to walk in right relationship with the Lord. And I told you I am a Type A personality. I’m a scheduler – and so we’ll talk a little bit about that. I think schedules are very important. I’ll link back to The Guide to Daylight today. There are lots of different ideas for schedules in there. But, if you come up with a great schedule, and you come up with a great meal plan (which I’d also encourage you to do), and you failed to invite the Lord into your plans – you’re gonna be frustrated because they’re different strokes for different folks. And your schedule, as you come up with, it’s going to be as unique as you are. And there are lots of different ways to schedule for your family. And I’ve collected a bunch of them. I put them in The Guide to Daylight so that you can compare them and sort of contrast what works for you and what doesn’t.

But I’m telling you what – I think, mom’s — it’s going to be a whole lot easier for you to concentrate on academics in the morning when your kids minds are fresh and you haven’t been frazzled from a day of toddler taming. And children, I think, at least my kids have are usually at their best in the mornings. And so we can spend our afternoons in play time for the younger ones and independent study for the older ones. But I want to encourage you – bring your day before the Lord and ask Him to help you organize it.

And I’ve read a lot of books about this over the years, and many of the books that I’ve read prescribe particular methods for scheduling schoolwork – but from my experience, and I’m not trying to be critical — I don’t think that most moms fit into the “typical category”. And that’s really the beautiful part about homeschooling because you can fit it to meet the needs of your own family, and in order to get the most out of your days.

Remember I said this the other day – it’s not about time management, it’s about me management. But you gotta come up with a plan.

For some of you, that’s going to mean getting up earlier. If you’ve got a nursing infant home, or a baby still keeping you up at night – I’m not even talking to you. Just plug your ears right now. But for the rest of us, I think sometimes we can get into the habit of sleeping late, of staying up too late. Hello. Moment of silence. And when I was a brand new homeschool mom it was a big deal to me. I couldn’t find enough practical detailed information about how other people did it.

But then I discovered something, and this is why I wrote the book – when I compared what I was doing and brought in whether other people were doing – all the sudden I had fresh ideas, and fresh inspiration. It’s a good thing to do a schedule for your kids. It’s a bad thing – to have that thing run your life. For a while there my husband used to call our schedule: The Master. Some of you guys you’ve heard me talk about this before. Because I’d be like ‘Oh let’s see’. And he’d be like ‘you know, got some time for me tonight honey?’ ‘Nope, not on the schedule.’

That’s my type A personality. I know, I know – it’s a problem. Which is why I don’t do it like that anymore. But I just want to encourage you = come up with the plan. Come up with a meal plan, menu planning. Oh my goodness it’s a wonderful too. It’s a wonderful tool, it doesn’t have to be complicated either because here’s the thing  – when I am being diligent about planning my days – I really try to include some sort of a menu. And so even if I just spent a half an hour each week, I can plan meals for our family. It saves me money, it brings so many benefits of health and peace into our home.

I’m telling you – I don’t know about you, but at about four o’clock in the afternoon if I have no idea what my kids are going to eat for dinner – I start to become crabby , right? I call it the bewitching hour at our house at four o’clock. So the time that you spend planning menus for your family is going to be rewarded. And if the idea of devising a menu plan for the week makes you roll your eyes because it sounds exhausting  -just think about the stress it’s going to save in the long run! I promise you, Busy Mom, it’s worth it. And you can deviate from it – you don’t have to do it. But if you don’t have an idea of what to do – it’s already there, you’ve got an idea there, and you’ve gone shopping and you know you’ve got enough stuff in your refrigerator.

And sometimes I’ll make menus for just four nights because I know that out of seven we’re either going to have breakfast for dinner, or leftovers, we’re going to eat at a friend’s house, we’re gonna be running through Taco Bell. So think of it sort of like a schedule – and then just having that menu there is going to be a guide and it is a lifesaver.

A friend of mine, a long time ago, when I was a younger mom, and still kind of learning the ropes of how important it was to schedule things out – we came up with a creative idea. And that was to create a very loose menu with three easy meals — two that are a bit more time consuming, an evening for leftovers or eating out, and one for a new recipe that you’ve been wanting to try. And you do your grocery shopping with these things in mind, and so menu planning doesn’t mean that you have to assign days to your meals. It just means that you have a plan of meals and you know that you’ve got the ingredients to make them.

And so the beauty of planning ahead is that if you forgotten about a dentist appointment the late afternoon – that may or may not have been me – or you’ve had a busy week – everything you need for a quick meal is going to be ready to go. If the mealtime trifecta of time, energy, and creativity hits you all at once – then you can create one of the more time consuming dishes. It’s all about flexibility. Can I just encourage you to also – teach your children to cook. Teach your children to get in there and help you and they can start doing this when they’re very young. I’ve talked a lot about chores on this podcast, the importance of training your children to help you around the home.

When your kids are about four years old – they can start helping you. I know some of you are like ‘what? they’re supposed to enjoy their childhood’. Yes, and they’ll enjoy it even more if you teach them to be productive in their childhood and how to be a help to you. Your kids need to feel like they’re important and what they’re doing is important to you.

And part of the way we do that is by saying  – ‘hey, can you help me unload the dishwasher?’ I used to love to give my kids wet rags. When they were about 3 years old they would love to have wet rags and go round and just wash the baseboards. And sometimes it made more of a mess than it was worth. But just the look on their faces was worth it because they’re like – ‘Hey look at me, I’m helping mom. This is great!’

So come up with a plan. If you want more information on how you can find The Busy Mom’s Guide to Daylight – you can go ahead and look in the show notes today – but I’m telling you there’s a whole chapter in there on what to do when you’re discouraged. How to consolidate your time – some of your wasting time – there’s a whole chapter in The Guide to Daylight on wasted daylight. Which is really all about how to control your time with the Internet in particular. And the very last chapter is called surrender daylight. And I’m going to tackle that on Monday, in response to a question from a listener who is wanting to know how to surrender her time and her desires to what God wants when she’s at war with her own spirit.

Boy have I been there before, and I know many of you have too. I’m gonna close the podcast out today by just offering a word of prayer. I know that a lot of you are struggling this time of year, and it’s frustrating to watch the news, and it’s frustrating to see some of the things that are happening. But I want to just encourage you that God is at work, He can never leave you, He’ll never forsake you. He’s at work and His heart is for you.

Father, I thank you that you see everything that’s going on. You see the mom who’s in a puddle right now, who doesn’t think she can do this thing. And Father, I pray that you would just encourage her by the power of Your Spirit, I pray that you’d encourage her by encouraging her husband. Lord, I pray that we would sense and know how important it is to walk in right relationship with you in every area of our life – from meal planning to homeschooling, to our marriages, to raise our children, to being a voice for you in the culture, Lord. Show us what to say and when to say it lift us up, set our feet on the rock. We’re going to look to you. Thank you, Father, for the way that you love us. In Jesus name, Amen.

For those of you who have not yet purchased tickets, I will be in Abilene coming up January 19th. That’s just a few days away – it’s not too late to purchase your ticket! And then the weekend after that I’ll be in Coos Bay, Oregon. Also, we’ve got a brand new essential oils class coming up called I Can Be Well. You can join that right now at HeidiStJohn.com/oils.

Thanks for listening today everybody, and I hope that you’re encouraged again you can pick up The Busy Homeschool Mom’s to Daylight at Amazon or at HeidiStJohn.com.

Have a great day everybody, and I’ll see you back here on Monday

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Feeling overwhelmed? You’re not alone! The struggles we face to get it “all” done boil down to one simple question: What’s important to you? But who defines “important?” For the Christian, the answer is found in the Word of God.

Mentioned in Podcast

• Busy Homeschool Mom’s Guide to Daylight, by Heidi St. John
• All The Pretty Things, by Dr. Edie Wadsworth 
• Sign up for my FREE Essential Oils class that will be from January 15th through the 21st

Scriptures

• Matthew 6:33
• Philippians 1:6
• Isaiah 41:10

TRANSCRIBED PODCAST BELOW

Hi you guys – Good morning! Welcome to the show! This is Heidi St. John.

I am so glad that you’ve joined me today. Today is Monday the 7th of January. It’s MailboxMonday here at the podcast and I’m going to be continuing something I was talking about on Friday – which is embracing God’s priorities. This is taken from a book I wrote several years ago called Busy Homeschool Mom’s Guide to Daylight Managing Your Days Through the Homeschool Years.

So if you’re feeling overwhelmed by everything that you have to do – stick around, I think you’re going to be encouraged!  

All right. So a couple of things before we get started. First of all I want to say thank you to everyone who’s been leaving reviews over at iTunes for this podcast. It really helps us a lot if you rate the podcast, leave reviews for it, share it on social media, let your friends know about it.

We are so excited about what God’s doing over here and we’re coming up on a brand new series at MomStrong International. So if you’re not familiar with MomStrong International this is a ministry that we started a year ago – so it’s a relatively new – with the heart and hope of getting you into God’s Word on a deeper level than what you may have been doing already. So those studies start fresh every Monday. The first Monday in January is when we do it. And so that starts today. It’s not too late to join!

You can sign up there just two dollars a week at MomStrongInternational.com. This month’s study is called Find Balance and Breathe. Doesn’t that sound good in January? And speaking of finding balance and breathing – I’m going to be coming to Abilene to encourage you for the Heidi St. John conference – that is coming up on Saturday, the 19th of January. It’s not too late to get tickets for that.

Right after that, I will be in Coos Bay, Oregon for my women’s conference. You can bring your daughters! A lot of you been asking about how old do I think your daughters should be if you want to bring them. We’ve had girls come as young as 14 years old and have them bring their Bible. When come bring your Bible, bring a notebook – and be prepared to just soak in the Word. We’re going to worship and eat lunch together. I’m going to have an hour of questions and answers. We are just really looking forward to that. I’ll be traveling to see you with my entire staff, and my husband, and our two oldest daughters who helped me with worship. So it really is a wonderful time.

Also really quickly – I wanted to let you know I’ve got a brand new essential oils class coming up! YAY – I’m really excited about this. It’s a Facebook class and it starts on January 15th. So it’s next week – you’ve got a little bit of time. You can register and join us at the TheBusyMom.Com/Oils.

This time we’re gonna be doing a series called I Can Be Well. it’s a class about spiritual, and emotional, and physical wellness. And we’ll basically just going to be teaching things that the Lord’s been teaching us over these past few years. I’ve been using essential oils for about ten years. But obviously there’s a lot more to being well than just using essential oils. However, they have been a huge part of our family’s wellness. And so, I love to talk about it. My friend Dr. Eadie Wadsworth is going to be joining me. You may remember her she wrote a book called All The Pretty Things for Tyndale. She’s a physician who also loves to talk about natural ways to be healthy. And so she teaches on essential oils and I know you’re going to love her teaching as well. I love to talk about essential oils and intimacy – which is what I will be doing. But join us the classes free! January 15th through the 21st and again you can register at TheBusyMom.Com/Oils. I will link back to that in the show notes today.

All right. This is Monday and so I always talk about letters that I get. If you have a question that you would like to see answered, shoot me an e-mail at podcast@thebusymom.com.

You can e-mail me anytime – our staff loves to hear from you! And we love to organize your letters. The main thing is – it would help me if you would say MailboxMonday in the in the subject. So that’s the main thing.

So I want to kind of continue, but I’m going to start off with a letter that I got from a young mom. Her name’s Hannah. So sweet Hannah, this is for you.

So Hannah wrote to me several months ago – sorry it’s taken me so long. And she said:

Dear Heidi, I am a mother of five children. My youngest child is just two months old and our oldest child is nine. I am frustrated and discouraged. I feel overwhelmed. I feel inadequate and unable to do the things that God has asked me to do with regard to homeschooling, let alone taking care of my house. Can you encourage me?

Okay Hannah, I absolutely can encourage you! First thing I want to encourage you to do is if you guys haven’t picked up my book  Busy Homeschool Mom’s Guide to Daylight. I want to encourage you to do that. You can find it anywhere books are sold. You can find it on Amazon. I’ll link back to it in the show notes today. It’s is chock full of practical information for those of you who are trying to manage a busy household, and it’s not just good for homeschool moms – it’s good for any mom  – but it has a particular slant for homeschooling moms just because that has been my road for so many years.

And so, we talked about embracing God’s priorities and how important it is to put your relationships in the order that God says to put them in. And so, we talked about marriage on Friday-remember? We talked about the importance of being like the Wonder Twins. I know that I was dating myself a little bit – but I still love the analogy – “Wonder Twins Power Activate!” – right?

And when God brought you together as a husband wife. He did it with a Kingdom purpose in mind. God never does anything apart from a Kingdom purpose. So the main thing we do to keep our houses, to keep our homes rather, working the way that God designed them and wants them to run — is to embrace God’s priorities. We nurture our relationship with the Lord, and then we nurture our relationship with our spouse, and then out of the overflow we nurture our relationships with our kids.

And I often tell a story of something that happened to me many many years ago as I was homeschooling and my kids, sort of just sitting around said “mom, you’re no fun to be around anymore”

Anybody? Anybody? A moment of silence for all of us moms who are no fun anymore. Ouch! Right? And those were the words that were spoken from a teary eyed 9 year old after I asked the age old question – What’s wrong?

And it took some time for me to get the answer out of my tender hearted child. You see, things had been tense for weeks but I ignored most of the signs hoping that eventually the kids would adjust to my new and improved way of doing things. So at that point it had been about four months since I’d implemented a new routine. So, some of you are doing that right now for January – you’re implementing a new routine and you’re being kind of hardcore about it. That’s what I was doing. And as it turned out I was driving my household a little bit nuts with my hour-to-hour schedule. And I’m sad to say it wasn’t good on the relationship front. It wasn’t really working for us.

You see – I had reasoned and justified away any excuse for a walk to the park, or a day off on my schedule just by looking at the sheer amount of work that I had to do every day to get through my day successfully.

Right? There’s so much to do. Can you guys relate? There’s laundry to do, and dishes to wash, and dinner has to be made – and don’t forget about schoolwork! And my heart really was in the right place. But as I look back now, I can see an immaturity because I wasn’t keeping my eyes on what was really important.

You see, my reasoning didn’t leave very much time for relationships outside of the necessary, and oh-so-daily, character and obedience training that all moms are doing with their kids. And days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months – and I couldn’t remember when the last time was I’d bake cookies with the kids or did anything that wasn’t related to housework or schoolwork with them for more than five minutes.

I was so busy surviving our busy life that I wasn’t taking the time for the stuff that makes life great.

And this isn’t a guilt trip. So, some of you were like – “Oh man here we go – guilt tripped.” You know, this is not it. Get out, unpack your bags.I’m not trying to send you on a guilt trip because the fact is – being able to relax with my family wasn’t a priority for me. That’s really what I learned for myself  – and I learned it from my kids. My kids were the ones who really opened my eyes to this fact because, here’s the thing – I am a Type A personality. I still struggle with it. My Type A personality grates against a free afternoon at the park because I worry about things that feel are more “important” that I’m not going to be getting done.

But here’s the question, and Hannah, this is the question I want to ask you. Who defines important? Who defines it? You see, as our children have grown older I’ll confess that my definition of important has undergone several changes. Probably due to the fact that I’m recognizing that things I worried about as a younger homeschool mom were often the least important things. I’m telling you guys – I wrung my hands and fretted over whether or not there are big gaps in their education, right? Anybody? Prepositions, Algebra lessons, writing assignments – proving my homeschool savvy – that had become my focus instead.

And I’m here to tell you right now – I’m just gonna let you guys off the hook. I’m gonna answer an age old question – YES, there will be gaps in your child’s education. Here’s the thing – we want to embrace God’s priorities. Wherever your kids go to school – whether you put them in a Private School or Christian School, or you homeschool them – there will be gaps in your kid’s education. And I just want to encourage you. God will finish in your children when He’s begun in them through you – if you will be faithful to do what God has asked you to do. So God tells us in His Word what’s really important, right?  

Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you as well
Matthew 6:33

And it’s easy to get busy doing the wrong things. And in fact – I think sometimes even the right things end up being wrong. So please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not saying you need to ditch your schedule. In fact the opposite is true! And I’m going to talk to you, probably on Friday I’ll continue this this conversation with you – and we’ll talk a little bit about scheduling. And I’m not saying don’t do school if you’d rather be playing a rousing game of Sorry either. What I’m saying is – keep your finger on the pulse of your family.

And so that means we’ve got to periodically make time for self of evaluation – so what’s working? So Hannah – what’s working in your home right now? What’s not working? Are the relationships in your home suffering because of something that you were doing that could be changed a bit? Ask yourself – When my children are grown, what do I want them to remember about their mom? What do I want them to remember about our homeschooling? Because my hunch is – you don’t want them to remember a hurried, harried, stressed out mom who wasn’t much more fun than a math assignment. Right?

And when our kids graduate from our homeschool – I’ve got almost four down and three to go – I want them to remember that I loved them. I want them to remember that their dad and I love them. And even on busy days – I hope they remember that we loved them. I don’t want my kids to look back and think of me as a mom who cared more about academics and housework than I did about dreaming with them, or enjoying the stage in phases of their lives. The days go by so fast. I’m just preaching to myself right now, you guys don’t even have to listen 🙂 I’m just talking to myself. 😉

Because this is still a struggle. It’s still a struggle. Even for a mom who’s been at this for a long time. And most of the moms I know are always trying to learn how to make the most of the precious daylight hours. But there’s a bigger picture that we want to keep in focus. So as we talk about planning our day – which we’re gonna do – I want you to keep this in mind – time is a gift and so are the children that God has given us to raise.

So try this. All right, close your eyes with me. When you think about homeschooling, and schedules, and housework, and dishes, or your car pool, or whatever it is that you got going on — ask the Lord to give you His perspective. We don’t need our own perspective. Everything else will fall into place when we know we’re doing what He’s asked us to do first.

You know, I went home the other night after a long day of working. And our kids had been helping us – I told you guys we started the Homeschool Resource Center last year. It’s wonderful, but it has added a whole new dynamic to our family and it’s easy for me – even though my husband they’re doing a really good thing – it’s still easy for us to forget what the best thing is and to get caught up doing the good thing and sacrifice the best thing.

So when I came home from the Resource Center last night – it was probably about 8:00 at night, and our kids been helping us get ready for something. And my littlest one, who is 8 years old now, she had gone upstairs to brush your teeth. And I said  – Hey would you like would like to read a story? And her eyes lit up! I’m telling you that those next 20 minutes that I spent – I put a blanket in the dryer- This might one of my favorite things to do in the wintertime because it is so cold in my neck of the woods. And so, I put a big blanket in the dryer for her while she finished brush your teeth, and I went and picked out a couple of picture books – and I just sat down with her and we started to read all snuggled up under that warm blanket from the dryer.

And when I went to bed that night, I think I slept a little bit better. Because my heart had been satisfied knowing that I had honored God’s priority – which was to nurture the heart of my child. And I truly believe that in Christian Homeschooling, for homeschooling moms – it’s really nothing short of a God-thing because apart from His leading – you could never do it. Apart from God’s leading in your life – we would never have His power, that’s perfected in weakness.

So if you’re feeling ill-equipped for the job right now if you’re struggling to know that what you’re doing is right can I just encourage you? God says His strength is made perfect in weakness. So whether you’re an accidental homeschooler like me, or you’ve always known you would homeschool, or you’re just thinking about it – the challenge that home-education provides us with is fertile soil in which to dig deep into the truths of God’s Word . And to find out just how powerful He really is. That’s what being a mother has been teaching me. That’s what being in the hordes of homeschooling has been teaching me, and I hope to pass on some of what I’m learning to other precious moms like you Hannah – and my hope is that you find encouragement as you listen to what I’m saying.

As you listen to what I’m saying, I want you to look at yourself in the mirror and just say: Lord, show me what you need me to do – what do you want me to do?

he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion
Philippians 1:6

He didn’t say – He might. He didn’t say – if He’s in the right mood He would. He said – He would see it through to completion. So whether you’re at the beginning of your journey as a mom, or you’re a veteran – you can feel a little bit lighter and a little bit more confident knowing God is gonna finish it. That’s why I’m saying – if you do your thing, if you do what God asks you to do, if you honor His priorities – which sometimes frankly, it means leaving your sink dirty. I know The Fly Lady would just be shakin’ in our boots at this – but sometimes it means you don’t shine your sink. Sometimes it means you go snuggle with a kid under a warm blanket from the dryer.

Precious Mom’s, let’s be known for going to Jesus to seek His priorities before we pencil in our own – because He’s the one who helps us maintain balance throughout the homeschool years, throughout the years of raising children. It’s not always easy, but it’s a journey worth taking. I’m always telling people that being a mom is the hardest best thing I have ever done. And being a homeschool mom the hardest best thing I’ve ever done with my children.

So come on, let’s be encouraged – because God wants you to be encouraged. He wants you to be intentional about how you spend your days, intentional about how you spend your time. And so often the questions that I get from moms are because they’re burned out because they haven’t embraced God’s priorities. And so one of the things I talked about in the The Guide to Daylight – every chapter in The Guide to Daylight was a particular kind of daylight. So I talked about intentional daylight – which is why you need a plan action A.S.A.P.

Right? We need to have a plan. I’m gonna come back on Friday and we’re going to talk about that. But I’ll give you just a little bit of a preview because I think plans are really important. But I don’t think that the plan should run you – I think you should run the plan.

Right? And so – oftentimes we get discouraged and we forget why we’re doing what we’re doing. And a crucial component to success in what you’re doing is coming before the Lord. It’s embracing His priorities.

Have you guys ever been mistaken for a mom was supernatural patience? Anybody ever seen you in the store in the middle of the day and said – “oh kids, why aren’t you in school?” and your kids say – “Oh, I homeschool!” And immediately the checker will say – “oh yeah I don’t patience for that.” And I was laughing. One time I told my friend – I just want want to punch her in the kisser.

It’s not about patience. It’s not about patience. It’s about perseverance.

It’s about resolve. And most homeschooling moms know the truth about patience. It’s not a prerequisite for homeschooling, it’s not a prerequisite for mothering. In fact, any mom that I know that has been at it for more than five minutes will tell you patience has nothing to do with it. Longevity and success in homeschooling is a result of resolve and obedience. It’s not about patience. It’s about knowing why you’re doing what you’re doing instead of just how.

So we can talk about the house all day long, but you gotta know why you’re doing it. And Spirit-led homeschooling, Hannah, I want you to hear this – Spirit-led homeschooling is going to bring with it a quiet confidence that comes from knowing that even on the days when you don’t feel like you’ve been successful at all – God has your back.

God has your back. After all – listen to me Mama – these kids belonged to Him long before they belonged to you. He knit at each one of them together with a foreknowledge that you would be their mom. And remember, I’m always telling you – you are the right Mom for your kids. And God’s plans for your children are vastly more important than your dinner plans or your fancy schedule. Do you believe it? You need to because God wants to work in your heart as you trust Him to finish the work He’s begun in you through the process of mothering your children.

I going to end today just talking really briefly about the goal of education because I think we forget. You guys remember when you were in school? I bet you do. And many, if not most of the moms I know who are currently homeschooling their kids. – they were not homeschooled themselves. I was not homeschooled. I went to a Christian School. My husband was not homeschooled – e went to a Public School. We attended school away from home. We were discipled by our teachers, and we often don’t think of education this way. But at the end of the day – here’s what is:

Education is discipleship. Discipleship is the goal of education.

Christian homeschooling should not be simply about teaching the ABC’s. Yes, academics are an essential component of it. But the foundation and power of homeschooling is found in the quiet resolve of two parents who are committed to teaching their children to be fully devoted, mature followers of Jesus. That comes first.

And by the way, I know there are a lot of single moms listening to this today and I just wanna encourage you right now – that if your husband has left you, either through his own decision or the Lord has taken him home – God said that He will never leave you or forsake you. That He will be your husband, that He will help you.

He said I’m going to strengthen you and hold you up – Isaiah 41:10. And I’m telling you what – I love my husband – but having God at the helm of your house has got to be better than any earthly person.  He doesn’t let you off the hook, He wants to hold you even tighter and hold you up.

So Hannah, I just want to encourage you today. The Lord has you. He loves you, has a plan for you. Nurture the relationships first in your home and then homeschool children out of an overflow of what God’s doing. Everything else will pale in comparison.

If you guys are enjoying this podcast it would encourage us greatly if you leave review for it over at iTunes. Also, I don’t want you to forget I’m going to be in Abilene. So come out and see me January 19th! You can register right now at HeidiStJohn.com/events.

Have a fantastic day everybody! I’ll see you back here on Wednesday for the first podcast of the new month of Bible Studies! Thanks for joining me. And you can sign up for the Bible study at MomStrongInternational.com.

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Our priorities are what drive us, and they matter. What do your decisions show are your priorities?

TRANSCRIBED PODCAST IS BELOW

Hey you guys this is Heidi St. John, welcome to the podcast.

Today is Friday, it is the 4th of January and today we’re going to be talking a little bit about priorities. And I’m going to take a bit of a homeschool slant, so if you’re a homeschool mom who’s weary or just a mom who’s surrounded with a lot of kids and you’re weary – and you need a little heart reset –  stick around, I think you’re going to be encouraged.

Well, I hope you guys had a wonderful holiday season. I am a routine girl so I like to get back into routine. I’m looking forward to getting into our routine. I actually think my kids are looking forward to it also. And in an effort to do that, I thought – you know, I’m going to take several of the letters that I’ve received over the past couple of months that have to do with homeschooling and burnout and how to get all things done – you know – all the things that you want to get  done in a day – and I’m going to take a little bit of encouragement from a book I wrote several years ago called The Busy Homeschool Mom’s Guide to Daylight.

So, even if you’re not homeschooling I think this will encourage you because what works for a homeschool mom also works for a mom who’s not homeschooling – because guess what? – God’s priorities are still apply. They apply whether you’re homeschooling or whether you’re not. But I want to just give a little bit of extra love to the homeschool moms out there who are listening – because I know, after 20 some odd years of experience with this – that January can be a very frustrating time. And I can remember very clearly coming into January and trying to get back into a routine, and trying to get the kids back on the homeschool train, and get myself, and my head, my heart, and my mind back into it — only to feel like I was already behind and already tired from the get go.

So if that’s you, and you’re kind of nodding your head – or maybe your quietly crying into your pillow right now – I’ve been there, I understand! So this episode really is all about that. And I might go ahead and carry it over to mailbox Monday depending on whether or not I feel like I get those questions answered.

Before I get started today, a couple of things that are coming up that I want you to know about. First of all the team and I are heading to Abilene, Texas for the Heidi St. John conference. We are very excited about that. We will be there on January 19th. So if you’re anywhere near Abilene – come on out! I’m telling –  it’s a day that will encourage and bless you. We’re gonna be walking very closely with each other that day through the Word of God, talking about God’s heart for you as it applies to your parenting and your mothering. But we’re gonna go even deeper than that and say – what is our role in the culture right now? What does God define it to be? And so, I think you’re going to be encouraged. You can bring your mom, your sister, your cousins, your Bible study group.

You don’t have to be a mom to enjoy this. I think you’ll be blessed by it. So that’s the 19th of January – in Abilene. You can find out more information at the show notes today or at HeidiStJohn.com/events. Tickets are still on sale and they’re only forty dollars a piece, and they include lunch for a whole day! So it’s absolutely worth it! Come on down and join me, and my family, and the staff of MomStrong International. We’re looking forward to seeing you!

The weekend after that I’ll be in Coos Bay, Oregon for Miracle Worker The Life Changing Power of Following Jesus. I cannot wait to see you there! I love Coos Bay because one of my favorite people in the whole world lives there – so we are very excited about that event also.

And one more thing – I thought I would just go ahead and give you a little bit of a preview. You guys have heard me talk about essential oils here on the podcast. Well I’m getting ready to do another class. We’re calling it: I can be well. And it’s a class about spiritual, and emotional, and physical wellness. So for an entire week – January 15 through the 21st, me and several of the leaders from a Young Living team, as well as my friend Dr. Eddie Wadsworth who’s been on the show with me before – I know a lot of you guys really appreciated her. She’s coming back and she’s going to be helping me teach some classes with with our staff about how to use essential oils. But we’re going to go beyond that and I will be teaching particularly about intimacy in marriage. And we’re gonna be talking about anxiety, and weight loss, and all kinds of things. I think you guys are going to really be encouraged. You can register for that right now at TheBusyMom.com/Oils. You will need to have a Facebook account to join the class. And so we’re excited about that. If you’ve got any questions, go ahead and shoot us an email at podcast@thebusymom.com.

All right, let’s get right to the topic today. So I’ve received several letters from you and some e-mails. And actually – you guys! – you’ve been sending me snail mail! You know that I have a particular love for getting cards and things like that in the mail so thank you for everyone who sent us Christmas cards over the Christmas holiday. If you’ve got extra cards sitting around and no one to send then to – you can send to me :). I’ll put my address out at the end.

But several of you’ve been talking about the frustrations that you’re having trying to manage all the things that are in front of you. And I think sometimes we make mistakes because we embrace things that God has not asked us to embrace. Like for example – how many of you have ever said yes to something and then five minutes later you’re like – That was a mistake.

Well, typically we do that because we don’t inquire of the Lord. And so I want to encourage you to do that and I wrote a book several years ago – if you haven’t picked it up I would encourage you to do that. It’s called The Busy Homeschool Mom’s Guide to Daylight – Managing Your Days Through the Homeschool Years – or how to fit your size 16 day into a size 10. And I wrote in the very beginning the little introduction, which was sort of my fun. I’m going to read it to you and see if some of you mean this was me several years ago. But every time I read it I’m like – oh man, this takes me back. So here’s what I said:

This morning I was standing in my bathroom putting makeup on, our third grader was next to me doing her math: “Mom what’s greater than again?”. The first grader sitting next to the shower door: “Mom, I wrote my essay backward again?”. When I turned around I discovered the baby was crawling out of the room with a washcloth in her mouth. Fifth grader called in the kitchen table – “Mom I can’t find my grammar book!” … sigh. The ninth grader comes in and asks if he can take a break. It’s only 9 a.m.

And after 45 minutes – I have one I done! 9 a.m. and I was behind the a-ball. I looked at my third grader. She smiled at me. “Mommy?” Yes. “You only have one I fancy”. Can you relate? Homeschooling is a tall order. It can seem overwhelming and at times it is. I know – as a homeschool mom of seven children I’ve had my moments, believe me. There have been times when I have asked my sweet husband to watch the kids for an hour so I could go to the car and listen to – nothing.

And over the last 20 some odd years I have wanted to throw the homeschool towel in on numerous occasions. You guys, I will confess I have looked at the big yellow school bus as it’s passed by my front door with a longing in my eyes. I’ve wondered what it’d be like to put my kids on that bus just for a day and walk inside to a quiet house. I’ve fantasized about enjoying my morning tea before it got cold, or finishing a thought before it was interrupted – and I don’t think I’m alone in my fantasy land either because I’ve spoken to many of you over the years who’ve had that exact same dream from time to time.

And you know what? I think you can get off the the guilty train right now because it’s it’s OK. You don’t have to feel guilty. There isn’t a mom on the planet who hasn’t wondered on occasion – What in the world she got herself into?! And I don’t think homeschool moms are any different!

So if you’re at the end of your homeschool rope right now, or if you’re at the end of your mommy rope – tie a knot and hang on – because we’re going to spend a little bit of time today just talking about some practical ways to manage the daytime hours in your home – so that you can make the most of the precious years that God has given you with your children. But here’s the thing you guys, and I want you to lean in and listen to me, because the most important thing that you will ever do as you start this journey is to lay down your expectations…

I’m gonna say it again: You gotta lay down your expectations and ask the Lord to reveal His expectations. We want His heart for marriage, His heart for our children, His heart for our homeschooling. And we got to be honest about where we are. If you’re a homeschool mom – you need to know why you’re doing it. We’ve got to surrender our hearts if we want to find His.

And when I talk about surrender that, here’s what I mean. I mean we lay our burdens at his feet and we ask Him for peace. And guess what? He not only offers you peace but He offers you rest. The Bible says in Matthew 11 that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. So if the Lord has called you to homeschool, or if you’re on the fence right now and you’re thinking – oh man I can tell the Holy Spirit is talking me about this – but you’re too afraid or you just think you can’t do it. Hang on. Because if God’s calling you to do it, then he’s already equipped you with everything that you need to get the job done. And here’s the deal you guys – managing your day is really just about managing yourself. Let me say that again because if you’re taking notes you should write that down. Time management is really not about managing time. It’s about me management. It’s about managing myself. And we’ve got to make sure that our priorities are in order if we’re gonna be successful. So the first thing we’re going to do.

Man I can tell we’re going to have to carry this over to Monday because I’m so much I want to tell you guys!

The first thing that we want to focus on if we’re gonna be successful in our homeschooling is our marriages. And a lot of times I love to speak about marriage – one of my favorite topics in the whole world! Probably because I’ve been married to the love of my life – for going on 30 years. And I came from a broken home and I’ve watched as many of my siblings, and many of my dearest friends marriages – have collapsed under the weight of pressure from outside activities, from temptation that we allow into our homes — and most of the time you can trace it back to priorities they’re out of order. Because we’re not embracing what God says is His heart and His priority for our home. And so I when I talk about marriage, I often talk about it in the context of the The Wonder Twins. Anybody remember them? If you watched TV at all in the 70s, if you were like me and sat in front of the television at 7 a.m. on Saturday morning because your parents were sleeping in. I loved to watch the superheroes, right? So remember The Wonder Twins powers – remember they would get together and they would say “wonder twin power, activate!” and he’d be like, you know – “form of the…” you know, “a wash”. No, that’s all right. It’s been a while since I watched them . “Form of a mop” and she might be a bucket – but whatever it is they complemented each other, right?

And I know I’m dating myself just by talking you guys about this, but the analogy for marriage is so good that I’m actually willing to risk it. So if you’re wondering where I’m going with all this, here’s the point. And this might be the only redeeming thing that ever comes out of all the hours I spent watching The Wonder Twins. So according to Hanna Barbera, The Wonder Twins amazing superpowers could only be activated when they did two things. They had a touch each other and they had to speak the phrase “Wonder Twins Powers Activate!” right?

Listen this is cool and I was 10, so bear with me. Now as nice as it sounds, it’s not just enough to say the phrase “Wonder Twins Powers Activate!”, the physical contact was required. So if The Wonder Twins were out of reach of each other they were unable to activate their powers. Now I know some of you are disappointed as you were really wishing I was going to give you a really great Biblical analogy – but I really think this comes back to embracing God’s priorities! Because you see without being connected to each other – in these two very crucial ways – meaning communication and connectivity – they were just like ordinary people. And the swamp monster could beat them. And that would be terrible, right? So if you’re still wondering how this applies, keep listening because Jay and I have a little Wonder Twin joke.

So whenever we feel depleted or unable to function effectively as a team it’s usually because, like The Wonder Twins, we’re out of reach of each other! In either one or both of the ways that the dynamic duo couldn’t survive without.

And I wrote an entire book dedicated to the topic of marriage so I’m gonna touch on that in the next in the coming weeks also. But I think it bears repeating – that when it comes to relationships within your home, your marriage has got to be the first relationship that you nurture. Your marriage is the primary relationship in your home. Years ago I wrote about this on my Facebook page and I thought the moms to be so encouraged I said – Hey Mom, marriage comes before mothering. Your marriage comes before homeschooling. And man I was amazed at the backlash! People were angry.

They were frustrated. They said – hey your kids need you more than your husband. You guys listen — nothing could be further from the truth. The Bible says that the marriage is the priority relationship in the home and whatever it is that God does in your marriage we pour into our children from the overflow of what God’s doing in our marriages. Have you ever been at odds with your husband for very long? I have.

There have been seasons in our lives – and Jay and I’ve been married, like I said, for almost 30 years – and I’m telling you there have been seasons in our lives when we have been so frustrated at each other. And we have allowed the pressures that we were facing as parents, as home-educators, as a pastor and his wife, financial pressure – all kinds of things – to come in between that sacred relationship. I mean there were times when my husband was so frustrated that he’d come straight home from church and go to our room and leave me to wonder what was going on and feel helpless to do anything about it. Does that sound familiar? Yeah.

You see God created marriage so that we would come together as a husband wife a sort of dynamic duo for The Kingdom. And God is in the work of doing something with your marriage. And God is in the business of doing something with your marriage. And if you think that the enemy doesn’t know that full well – you don’t know the enemy. He knows that if he can create a little bit of distance between you and your husband it’s going to go a long way in undermining your marriage.

It’s amazing to me how lack of communication can affect a relationship between a husband and wife. And I mean oftentimes I am frustrated with how discouraging, and disorganized, and chaotic our days seem when a simple conversation with my husband reveal a side of the problem that I’d failed to discern before.

We need each other.  Sweet mom, communicate with your husband. Men who are listening to this – communicate with your wife. She needs to hear that you love her. And by the way, this applies across the board – but is particularly important for husbands whose wives are homeschooling. When you come home at the end of a long day and the house is a mess, and your wife hasn’t gotten dinner on the table, and you can see a math book is still open on the kitchen table – that’s the wrong time to say — what did you get done today? Just a little something I learned. I’ll just let that sit right there.

Your husband, mom, can meet you halfway. So moms communicate with your husband, let him into the places that you’re uncomfortable to talk about. Talk to him about your lack of organization, your fear of failing your kids. Talk to him about your discouragement – your husband can’t meet you halfway if he doesn’t know the road you’re on, right? So communicate – communicate with each other.

Another thing that we can learn from The Wonder Twins is the fact that it’s not just enough to communicate – “Wonder Twin Powers Activate!” doesn’t do any good if there’s no what? – physical contact. And I think sometimes we’re so busy that we don’t notice the distance that creeps in between us simply due to a lack of physical intimacy. And being a mom is challenging enough, and you add homeschooling to it and it takes it to a whole new level. And I think it’s easy to let homeschooling take priority in your life.

But you know what? Listen to me carefully – it’s dangerous to do that. And I’m not just talking about homeschooling – it can be anything that you have allowed it to take priority and push away that time that you should be setting aside for your marriage. And as much as you want to learn to manage your day — an even greater responsibility needs to come first. Your marriage needs to come first. Women, please do not neglect the sexual aspect of your marriage. Talk to your husband about it. Ask him to tell you honestly how he feels your marriage is doing in this important area. You guys you might be surprised by the answer that you hear.

I remember one time I asked my husband – you know, I’ve told you before – every once and a while while Jay and I will sit down and we sort of assess the state of our union. A long time ago this was an area in my life that we were really struggling with. We had several little kids at home and it was such a physically demanding job that it was easy for me to push my husband’s needs to the side. Because I was too too tired and I was practically comatose at the end of the day. AI remember an an older woman took me to lunch one day and it was a kindness that she sat me down and asked me how my marriage was and I said – well I’m doing okay. And she said – “How would your husband say that your marriage is doing?”. And it wasn’t that my husband talked to her. I really feel like the Holy Spirit was like – “you need to go talk to Heidi”. So she said – “go home and ask him”.

So I remember sitting down with Jay after dinner, all the kids were in bed, and I said – “so Jay, how would you rate our sex life say on a scale of 9 to 10”. I didn’t give him any room to say – “well it’s a four or it’s a six”. I just didn’t think I could hear it. I was afraid of being criticized for it – just one more thing that I wasn’t doing right.

And I want to just encourage you – talk to your husbands, open up that conversation. Think about what attracted you to your husband when you first married him. Ask him – what attracted you to me?

The first book I wrote called The Busy Homeschool Mom’s Guide to Romance – which in hindsight I wish I hadn’t called it The Busy Homeschool Mom’s Guide to Romance – because if you want to read a great book about marriage, that really is a wonderful book. The Lord just gave that to me and I wrote it from a place of pain in my own life. But God really used it, and I wrote about a girl that I used to know. I called her “That Girl”, and she was the girl that my husband married.

She was the one who couldn’t wait to romance her husband, to make him dinner, to dress beautifully for him. And busy mom – I just wanna encourage you you are still that girl . And that girl still needs to be part of your life and your marriage. So nurture your relationship with your husband. Husbands, nurture your relationship with your wife.

You don’t need to have money for a babysitter to nurture your marriage. You know there were many times my husband and I were on such a tight budget when our kids were little. He was a pastor and we were single income family, homeschooling. We’d made this incredible decision to homeschool – which I couldn’t believe that I had actually said that I wanted to do — it’s totally the Lord. And I remember my husband just coming home from work and just said – hey, let’s put on four hours worth of vegetables on for the kids, and we’ll sit upstairs at the kitchen table and just have dinner, and get to know each other again. It’s so important.

I can honestly say that that effort that you will put into your marriage will reap dividends for years to come. Your marriage is the primary relationship in your home. This is the first of God’s priorities that we embrace outside of our relationship with Him.

So Monday we’re going to come back and I’m going to talk to you a little bit about how to nurture your relationship with your kids – even through busy homeschool years – but also how to kind of manage your home. When you’ve got a lot of kids around you – so important. This is the time of year to do it.

Also I want to just remind you that we start a brand new Bible study at MomStrong International on Monday. And so this January, we’re gonna be talking about finding balance in your life. The study is called Find Balance and Breathe. God has balance for you. And we’re gonna be studying the book of James – starting in James 3.  

It’s a great time for you to join the Scripture Writing Community which is free, and also for two dollars a week  -you can support the ministry of the podcast by simply joining the Bible study. We’ll  take you even deeper into the things we’ve been talking about here on the podcast.

All right I hope you guys will join me there. If this podcast is an encouragement to you, it would certainly encourage us if you would leave a review. Rate this podcast over at iTunes, share it on social media, let people know that we’re here and we want to encourage you.

And one last thing before I go – I know I said I would give you your address – if you wanna write to us. We love to get things in the mail. The address is:

Heidi St. John
c/o Firmly Planted Family
11100 NE 34th Cir
Vancouver, Washington 98682

Have a great day everybody and I’ll see you back here on Monday.