Category Archives: Homeschooling

Homeschooling With Toddlers: Finding Your Way Without Losing Your Mind (or Joy!)

January 23, 2023Homeschooling, MomStrong Parentingnew to homeschooling, preschoolers, toddlersHeidi St. John

Ahhh, toddlers. Gotta love ’em. I have been homeschooling successfully with toddlers for many years. Or not!

You know me, I like to keep things real. And in the interest in being perfectly honest, let me just start by saying I’ve tried everything I know how to try and nothing is ever foolproof. Nothing works all the time. Real-life isn’t like Pinterest.

Here’s the big thing I’ve learned though. Are you ready? The best thing I can do for myself and my toddlers is to appreciate them. I have lots of fun toddler stories but one of my favorites is from 1998, the first year we were homeschooling. I was still in “let’s see if I can really do this” mode and I was very serious about it all. One cold winter morning as I was teaching Sierra from our favorite book on reading “Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons,” I noticed that I had not heard from the toddler in some time.

Quietly, stealthily, I made my way to the back of the house, down the long hallway that had four identical doors. Skylar, our 20-month-old, was behind door number 3. He had literally covered himself from head-to-toe in Desitin and then, he had proceeded to cover his ride-on giraffe in Desitin. But wait! There’s more! After that, he decided it would be a good idea to dump all the baby powder on top of himself and “Giraffey.” Have you ever tried to get powder and Desitin out of bedding and pillows and wooden toys and carpet? Let’s just say it’s not something I’d like to spend another 8 hours doing.

As you might have guessed, we didn’t get to finish our reading lesson that day. I don’t think I made dinner. Our landlord was coming over to check some faulty water heater or something. There was no way I was letting him see the house covered in baby powder and Desitin!

Toddlers. You’ve gotta love ’em. Fast forward 15 years. That toddler is now a handsome young man. His days of dumping Desitin are over until he has his own child. I’m pretty much living for that. (Just kidding.) I tell you this story to remind you that if you’re in the throes of homeschooling and toddler taming, it doesn’t last forever. Enjoy your toddlers as much as you can. Laugh as much as you can. Don’t wish these toddler years away.

Of course, there are some logistical things that might help with the “taming” part of parenting toddlers, especially if you’re trying to homeschool older children too, so here are a few things I’ve learned.

Hard truth: children need consistency. They just do. I feel sorry for moms who are being pulled and pushed around by little tyrants that are only a couple feet tall—especially when the mom could be doing something about it. Now I’m not saying every child needs the same thing, far from it! But I am saying this: most toddlers are smarter than their moms give them credit for being. Of course there’s the occasional “exception to the rule” but make no mistake, your toddler knows you. And he knows what you mean when you give instructions. This whole counting to ten or three or whatever needs to stop.

I love this book by Ginger Plowman: “Don’t Make Me Count to Three” is one of the best books on toddler taming I’ve ever read. Check it out.

Bottom line? Toddlers know they are loved when you give them boundaries and stick to them. I’m not suggesting that there is no room for grace; but grace is given, like consequences, on a case-by-case basis. Love your toddler by being consistent in every area.

Your homeschooling efforts are only as good as the relationships behind them.

This is a lesson I have learned the hard way over and over. It’s worth taking the time to find out what the problem is. Sometimes, it’s a simple case of the child needing more affirmation or time from his parents. Toddlers are growing in every way. They need lots of love and affirmation along with consistency from you. You can do both, by the way. Keep in mind that whatever you do should be motivated by love.

I have tried everything under the sun to keep our toddlers busy while we do school. Sometimes, I wait for “difficult” subjects until the toddler is napping. Sometimes, I put in a video (here are my favorite videos in the whole wide world.) Sometimes, I set up a little area at the table where the toddler can color and feel like he/she is doing “school” with us. Sometimes, I give them the Sharpies and tell them to just color the walls. (Not really. But I’ve felt like it.) My point: experiment until you find a rhythm. Do what works for you.

This has worked the best for us over the years. It’s a win/win/win if you can figure it out:

Mom wins because someone is helping to keep the baby/toddler occupied
Older children win because they get the “privilege” of building rapport and relationships with their siblings. Plus, helps grow them, too! I let the bigger kids bake cookies, draw, watch movies (occasionally), play games, go outside, whatever!
Toddler benefits in a million ways—not the least of which is the foundational building blocks for great relationships with their older siblings.

Giving your older children the important role of mentor and big brother/sister is an entirely separate homeschool course. It’s worth investing in.

Love your toddler, busy mom! Soak ’em up! It only lasts a couple of years and you don’t get it back. Play, play, play when you can with your toddlers. You’ll be surprised at how their little eyes will light up. 😉

What are some of YOUR great ideas for keeping toddlers busy during the day?

It goes by fast,

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5 Essentials To Getting Started in Homeschooling: Get Organized

March 26, 2020Homeschoolingnew to homeschooling, time managementHeidi St. John

Most of you know that I am an accidental homeschooler. It’s true. So when I got into this wild, crazy homeschooling adventure, I honestly had no idea what I was doing. No. Idea. I knew I could do it, I’d seen it done. I just didn’t know what it meant for me.

That was 1999. I’ve learned a few things since then. Most of them the hard way. (Hard to believe? Believe it.) I noticed early on that even though we were new to homeschooling, people still wanted to know what we were doing for our homeschool. My answer: “I’m learning as I go.” Even now, I usually hesitate to tell folks what we do, because frankly, what works for my family may not work for your family.

However—I also keenly remember how I felt when I began our homeschool journey. I devoured every “how to” book I could find on the subject. I would have given just about anything to follow a seasoned homeschool mom around and spy on her just to see how she did it. Trouble was, no one would let me spy on them. Even when I asked! And I did ask. This mom who lived in Mount Vernon, WA and had homeschooled in the “dinosaur age” of homeschooling. I asked her. She looked at me like I had just decided to write an expose on her style of homeschooling. Things got awkward fast. Maybe back in 2000, it was just a creepy request? I don’t know. In any case, I’ve changed my mind about sharing how we “do” school; mostly because of that memory in particular.

In the next few days, you’ll read some (not all) of “how” we do it; because one very important thing I’ve learned is this: You start each year with the same building blocks: but it can, and will, look very different from year to year. Don’t let yourself be taken hostage by someone else’s idea of what your homeschool should look like, either. Make it your own.

Here’s part one of a three part series I’m writing on “How We Homeschool.” I hope it encourages you, because if I can do it, you can too.

5 Essentials to Getting Started in Homeschooling {in short}

So let’s talk about each one of these for just a moment.

1. Think like a teacher.I get a little bit of criticism for this, but I believe it’s essential that I take off my “mom” hat for a few moments and put on my “teacher” hat. And yes, homeschool moms need to be able to wear both “hats” at the same time. It just helps me think better when I can separate the two. Here’s how I do it:

Keep in mind that I change things up every year. This is my schedule from a few years ago. Since then I have changed math programs and added some things that have helped us stay on course in light of our travel schedule.

Truth be told, every homeschooling family should be choosing what works best for them. Since our family travels quite a bit for work, we incorporate a lot of of that into our schooling.

2. Write the core subjects under each child’s name. I’ve put the grade in place of the name for the sake of our kids, but normally, you’d see the name of the student next to the grade at the top.

3. Decide on Curriculum.
This is the part that really frustrates many parents. I ask myself three questions when choosing curriculum:

a. Does it overwhelm me? If my first response is to feel like I’ll never measure up; I’ll usually pass to the next option.

b. Does it fit MY learning style as the teacher? If it doesn’t resonate with me as the teacher, I’ve learned that I will have a hard time using it to teach our children. Not sure of your learning style? Find out. There are many books out there on the subject. “The Way They Learn” by Cynthia Tobias is my fave. You can even take online quizzes!

c. Am I choosing it out of fear? I’ve been surprised at how a sales pitch can make me feel like I’m doing a disservice to my children by not choosing a particular program. After 14 years of homeschooling, I usually decide to go with my instinct. If I like it, and if it feels do-able, I’ll try it. Fancy-schmancy sales pitches don’t impress me much.

4. Come up with a schedule. I wrote about this at length in my book, “The Busy Homeschool Mom’s Guide to Daylight.” I’m a huge fan of scheduling—to a point. When it rules your life, it’s not good for you. The Bible teaches us about moderation and the power of not being “mastered” by anything. Including a schedule. Here’s our schedule from a few years ago. Read the post for more information:

5. Organize your school space. You don’t need a “school room” to homeschool. All you need is a shelf. It’s true! I’ve done it every which way—some years we’ve had more space than others; so I’m here to bust the myth that you can’t homeschool without a schoolroom. Right now, we have a schoolroom; and it’s great. I store our books up there. We use it for study and teaching space. But more often than not, it’s the room that gets all the junk we don’t want to deal with. True story. Use what you have and be happy. It’s enough.

TRY THIS:
Get clear containers for things like scissors and crayons. Label them. (I LOVE these.) Your storage containers don’t always need lids. In fact, I like it better without lids these days. Easier. We just keep them on a shelf for easy access.

Create a space for each child on your bookshelf. It doesn’t have to be the whole shelf! A part of a shelf will do. Be creative. Less, as it turns out, really is more.

CHEAP WHITEBOARD IDEA:
Shower board. Ask your husband to take you on a date and pick out some white shower board. Home Depot, etc. They all have it. Easy cleanup, and you can use whiteboard markers with it. We have used shower boards for years instead of expensive, “official” whiteboards.

Have you read my post about scheduling?

Next time: Notebooking

You can do this!

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3 Frequently Asked Questions About Notebooking

March 25, 2020Homeschoolingnew to homeschooling, non-traditional homeschoolingHeidi St. John

When I started homeschooling in 1998, I did the only thing I knew how to do: I set up a “real” classroom in our and ordered a million dollars worth of workbooks. (At least it felt that way.) And we did okay … for a while.

We were about six months into it when I began to notice that the “life” I had longed for was just not happening with the workbooks. For the kids, it was just “business as usual,” as we went about our school day; there was no chance for creativity outside of the prescribed worksheet. They seemed bored and disinterested. Another thing that frustrated me was that each one of my children was studying something different; the first grader and third and fifth-grader were all doing a different era of history. Different sciences. Even different Bible lessons.

I was frustrated. I was hoping for more “togetherness” in our studies and less fragmented days. I didn’t miss the craziness of taking my daughter to school every day. I was hoping for more of a “one-room schoolhouse” approach in our homeschool, and having so many different workbooks and textbooks was not answering my heart’s cry to simplify our learning together. So, I began to search.

schoolroom-6966 — Our schoolroom—tidier than usual. 🙂

It was 2005 when I discovered something called lapbooking. (I love lapbooking so much that I wrote an eBook on the subject.) Shortly after that, I learned about notebooking. These two things literally changed the way we homeschool.

If you’re looking for a way to simplify your homeschool, keep reading. Notebooking might be just the answer you need.

What is Notebooking?

This is by far the most frequently asked question I get when it comes to notebooking, so I’ll make this as simple as possible. 🙂

Notebooking is simply teaching your child to write about and illustrate what they are learning in school. Notebook pages are stored using a 3-ring binder and sheet protectors. You can use pre-made notebooking pages or, you can use my favorite method—which is to let the child design it. Original is always better than not, right? 🙂

Over the years, we have done a mixture of these kinds of notebooking. I also keep a few pages here and there of traditional “workbook” pages in their notebooks. It serves as a reminder and *proof* that we’ve actually accomplished something that year. Occasionally I will open the notebooks to remind myself.

Allowing the kids to create their own layouts started rough but ended beautifully

A few other FAQ’s about this:

What do you use? I use 2″ or 3″ binders. They can be found on sale all the time over at Amazon and of course, you can find them at your local Walmart.

When do you notebook? We do it one day a week. I keep a running list of the things we are studying on a whiteboard in our kitchen. We take one day each week to create notebook pages. It’s not something we do every day. (Do you feel relieved yet?)

How do I start Notebooking?

Every family who notebooks does it a little differently. At our house, we notebook just one day each week. Usually, we do it at the end of the school week. I’ll try to break it down for you a little by putting it into steps.

Keep a running list of the things you’re studying. We write them on a whiteboard. For example, last year during a week in October, we studied:
1. the parts of a flower
2. Joseph is sold into slavery (Firmly Planted, Book 2)
3. Times Tables the Fun Way
4. The Civil War
I let my children choose things off the list to write about based on their age. For example, the 3rd grader chooses two things that really made her eyes light up. She will make two notebook pages about those two things. The older they are, the more pages they can create. Four is about the limit for “original” pages, so if you have a high schooler, you might ask them to create a page about each of the four things I listed above.
We make a mess. Messes are good when they’re signs of a creative, engaged child! Get out the cardstock, glue, scissors, sheet protectors, colored pencils and crayons. Let your children be creative.
Create a page! Sometimes, I use notebooking templates that I find on the internet, or I create my own on our home computer. My favorite way by far to create pages is to simply let the children make their own. You’ll need to show them examples, and if they are young, you’ll need to help them draw lines, etc., but after that, let them spread their creative wings and fly!
When notebook pages are done, put them in sheet protectors and put them in your binders. Don’t forget to put a DATE on each page! I like to keep our binders in chronological order. It really helps with reference points at the end of the year.
Add other pages you are doing in school; the occasional math page or language lesson. All of these will serve to help you create a wonderful portfolio of your child’s work. They’ll love looking back over it.

Use what you have around the house to create pages. The one on the right is computer made.

Favorite Resources For Notebooking

These are a few of my favorite things:

Lapbooking Made Simple – my new eBook about Lapbooking. (great to use in tandem with notebooking)
Five in a Row’s Notebook Builder (Notebooking Templates)
Sheet protectors
Glue sticks
Decorative Scissors
Avery binders (3″ and 2″)
Colored Pencils
Fine-tipped Sharpie markers
Stickers (used to decorate pages)
Pens & Pencils (duh, but I had to throw it in here.)

Bottom line: Notebooking can help you be more creative with your children, learn more and enjoy it more. Give it a try!

Page from a study on botany (L) and cover for our second daughter's 9th grade notebook. — Page from a study on botany (L) and cover for our second daughter’s 9th-grade notebook.

You’ve got this,

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Giving Our Kids the Gift of Boredom!

March 25, 2020Homeschooling, MomStrong Parentingchild training, preschoolers, priorities, teens, toddlers, tweensHeather Haupt

I can hear them now as my hubby and I wash up after dinner. They are running around, enjoying the respite from our intense desert sun while they soak up that important time outside. One boy runs inside to inform me that he’s discovered a new path. Really it is just a long stretch of space behind a line of bushes. But in his mind, it is ripe with mystery and opportunity. He grabs at my hand, begging me to explore this path with him. I arrive in time for a lizard funeral as boys relay their attempt to rescue this scaly creature from a bird. In the span of 2 minutes, we’ve discussed funeral practices, heaven, predator/prey relationships, and compassion. And I didn’t have to plan a thing.

Ahhh, the lazy days of summer – when kids run wild – exploring, building forts, climbing trees, forming clubs, reading books. Well, that’s the way it used to be anyways.

These days we are all about programs and bucket lists…

And if we aren’t keeping our kids busy and occupied with these than we give them our ipads, smartphones or some other kind of screen to keep them occupied.

But what if we did something drastic and returned to the good ol’ days, the lazy days of summer? What if we embraced the value of time – time to be bored – knowing that we are allowing their imagination, their curiosity, their ingenuity to develop?

They say that “necessity is the mother of invention,” but I’d venture to add that a bit of boredom accomplishes this too! It takes skill to know what to do with oneself. If we remove distractions and take the time to provide these opportunities, think of what a gift we can give them. And while we are at it, we can unplug and just be as well. We can be present – enter into their worlds, bring them into ours. We can read, talk, bake, and explore free from the confines of “busyness.” Our culture has idolized the concept of being busy and redefined what that looks like. It is program focused, instead of people focused. And all too often it leaves us frantic, disconnected, and unable to just be there for the little things in life. Life is busy, but let’s take a look at what we are busy doing and then help our children learn how to constructively occupy their own time without always doing it for them. Because these are the moments when most of life’s lessons are learned. It’s nearly impossible to plan for; we simply need to be available.

So how do we embrace this kind of “time?” I’m sharing a few ideas about how to embrace boredom in a way that cultivates creativity over at my blog, Cultivated Lives.

Heather.

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A Few Tips to Homeschooling a Wide Age Range

March 23, 2020Homeschoolinglarge family, non-traditional homeschooling, time managementMarlene Griffith

One of the biggest challenges I find with homeschooling is scheduling it all in. Even if we don’t have a super set and outlined schedule, it’s still one of the biggest stressors when it comes to the homeschool year. I want to make sure I fit in everything, but I also want to make sure I’m not overwhelming anyone. I tend to let my kids lead in that realm of things, as far as how much they can do. I set the guide because we do need to cover certain things each year, but beyond that – it’s up to their ability and desire.

We usually end up doing much more than I had planned because my kids are eager learners and love to read. Often times at the beginning of the year I’m shocked at how much we have planned for the year. I believe that our relaxed approach to our schedule is a huge contributing factor to them having such a love of learning.

The next challenge is the wide age range of my children. My eldest is in 8^th grade, then the next of my kiddos is in 1^st, followed by my little one who is 3. I guess the three-year-old would be considered preschool or toddler school level.

As you can see, we have a pretty big age range. You might have more kids which might mean you have several kids in multiple different grades, more than I do.

So, how do we face head on homeschooling a wide age/grade range?

First things first

See if there is anything you can teach all of the kids together. For instance, if your 8^th grader is studying American History, why not have your younger children study American history too? They don’t have to do it at the same intensity or depth as the older one, but they can still do it. Many curriculum options out there offer this flexibility to tailor their curriculum for older and younger students to use at the same time. But if they don’t have that option, you can easily relay the information to your younger one in a manner that they understand.

Next, keep your schedule super simple.

For us, this is essential. And as more of my kids are heading into school age, it’s been a huge life saver for us.

I have a rather untraditional schedule with my kids. It works for us and it helps me teach each of them according to their needs without feeling like I’m overwhelmed, overwhelming them, or missing anything.

My approach: I don’t teach every subject every day! That’s right. We have designated days for our more meaty subjects. This allows us to focus on one topic at a time and allows me to spread myself amongst my kiddos to give them the best attention I can.

So, how does this look you’re wondering?

Let’s say we do Math on Monday, History on Tuesday, Science on Wednesday, Language Arts on Thursday, and Foreign Language on Friday. That’s just a sample of what it could look like. Many wonder – but what about constant practice? What if they forget skills from one week to another until that subject day arrives?

Here’s how we prevent that:

Using the example above, Math would be taught on Monday. We would work through the lessons and then practice with our worksheets. I would work with the older student first and work my way down through the younger ones.

Then Tuesday comes along and we’re on to History, but before we start History we do another Math worksheet. Our math program offers 5 worksheets for each lesson so it happens to work well with our schedule. If that weren’t the case, I would simply create or find worksheets based on Monday’s lesson.

This way, they are refreshing and practicing their newly learned concepts all week, but just with a simple worksheet which takes maybe 5 or 10 minutes. They’ve taken the core of the lesson on Monday – leaving the rest of the week for practice.

Back to Tuesday, when we’re on History. After we do our Math worksheet we do our History lesson and discuss it. We do some map work and really dive in to any discussion questions that we may have. But we don’t just forget about it until next week. On Thursday we would have a brief discussion with my youngest about what we learned on Tuesday and I’ll have my big kiddo write down a paragraph or two. Catering to their capabilities.

This keeps things fresh in their heads, allows for time for it to really soak in for a day or so, and allows for me to see how much they have retained. It’s a super chill approach to learning that we have grown to love.

If this schedule just does not appeal to you, I have another suggestion. We’ve tried this method before and although we liked it, we went back to our one-subject-a-day method.

Work with your older kids first. They are more likely to have work that they do more independently than your younger ones, but may need you to either teach the lesson or at least assign them the lesson for the day should they be working on it independently. When my eldest hit 6^th or 7^th grade, she did a lot of her work independently and I would just grade her work and discuss it with her after.

Once you’ve finished with your hands-on lesson teaching with your older kiddos, move on to your younger ones. You’ll have the peace of mind that your older kiddos are working on their school work, which allows you time and focus to teach the younger ones.

Encourage independence as soon as they show readiness.

As I mentioned above, my eldest started doing a lot of her work indecently once she hit 6^th grade, for sure by 7^th grade. How did I know she was ready? It just got to a point where I realized she was ready to take a stronger hold of the reigns and work at her pace. She works much faster this way too. I think my schedule was holding her back a bit.

Total side note: This is something I just adore about homeschooling, my kids can begin to work at a pace that suits their learning needs and style so much sooner than they could in what’s referred to as a traditional school setting. But with homeschooling booming, I think traditional is changing.

Takeaways

Don’t try and teach each of them different subjects at the same time. If your kids are working on two different subjects at the same time, it should be independently. Stretching yourself into different subject directions AND grade directions will cause you to burn out.

Plan your schedule realistically. Don’t try and do every single thing every single day with each kid. It’s just not realistic. I like to think of it this way: in college, do you do every subject every day? Nope! So there is no harm in not doing every subject every day now either.

Work with the older kids first, then work with the younger ones. While you’re working with the older ones have the younger ones work on something like handwriting or maybe give something for them to color. I have a few connect the dots booklets for my younger kiddo. This keeps her busy while I teach her big sister, and helps her practice her numbers!

And finally, encourage your kids to begin working independently as soon as they show readiness. This is beneficial to them and their development. Taking ownership of their work is exciting and encouraging for them!

xoxo, Marlene
A Diligent Heart

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Finding Your Child’s Learning Style

March 21, 2020Homeschoolingelementary, new to homeschooling, non-traditional homeschooling, tweensMarianne Sunderland

My daughter sat, if you can call it that, splayed wildly across two chairs and chatted light-heartedly about some birds she had seen outside her window that morning.

Curious, I questioned her, “Have you finished your math?”

Exasperated, I realized that she had barely made a dent in her assignment.

Hands up if this is going on in your home?

My daughter is not generally a willful or disobedient child. She is, however, a kinesthetic learner who really does need to move in order to learn well. Moving while she does her schoolwork helps her to think and remember. These days, now that I understand the impact of different learning styles, you will find her doing her schoolwork sitting atop a large fitness ball bouncing in a crazy fashion, and finishing her work in record time.

What are learning styles?

I never gave learning styles much thought until I began homeschooling my kids. I thrived in the traditional school environment (as do many teachers). Then I began to teach my dyslexic kids and my eyes were opened to a world of learning differences that I never knew existed.

A learning style simply refers to the way a person learns best. Everyone has a mix of learning styles, utilizing all of the senses, however many people find that they have a dominant style of learning. There is no right or wrong learning style – just different. Traditional schooling tends to focus primarily on reading and writing (a predominantly linguistic or verbal learning style) to gain and assess the acquisition of knowledge. The result has been that students who have other learning style strengths tend to do poorly with these methods, earn poor grades and bad reputations for being less bright than other kids.

This has been true in my life. I found growing up that I was very good at memorizing random information for tests. I could visualize the words on paper and during a test, could choose the best answer based on this picture in my head. However, I was quick to forget this information after the test and rarely acquired a good understanding of the subject. My dyslexic husband, on the other hand, did poorly in school, yet has a much better understanding of the flow of history and science than I, having weak memorization skills but strong skill in logic.

By recognizing and understanding our own learning styles, we can use techniques better suited to our unique families. This has the added benefit of improving the speed and quality of learning.

Seven Learning Styles

Visual (spatial): You prefer using pictures, images, and spatial understanding. Try using images, pictures, color and other visual media to help your kids learn.
Aural (auditory-musical): You prefer using sound and music. Try using sound, rhyme and music in your learning.
Verbal (linguistic): You prefer using words, both in speech and writing. Try to find ways to incorporate more speaking and writing in your teaching.
Physical (kinesthetic): You prefer using your body, hands and sense of touch. Try using touch, action, movement and hands-on work in your learning.
Logical (mathematical): You prefer using logic, reasoning and systems. Teach the detail behind behind concepts being taught as opposed to mere rote learning.
Social (interpersonal): You prefer to learn in groups or with other people. Try working on lessons as a group, find a study group and use role-playing concepts you are trying to learn.
Solitary (intrapersonal): You prefer to work alone and use self-study.

Research has actually shown that each learning pathway uses different parts of the brain. By involving more of the brain during learning, it is easier to remember what is being taught. This is often referred to as multi-sensory teaching.

If you are experiencing difficulties in your homeschool, you may want to go online and take one of the many free learning style assessments available. And don’t forget to test your own learning style. Sometimes our learning style as the teacher does not appeal to the learning style of our kids. Understanding learning styles will help you to think outside the box and find a method that works for both of you!

Roadblocks in homeschooling are often an indicator that it is time to change things. If your kids are struggling with their homeschooling, maybe it is time you considered the learning styles of you and your children.

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Homeschooling Held Hostage

March 19, 2020HomeschoolingBiblical worldview, counter-culture, faith - not formulaHeidi St. John

I remember the day we decided pull our daughter out of school. The day we “made it public”—this decision to homeschool.

I.Was.Terrified. Really. My knees were knocking as I walked into our oldest daughter’s grade school. I liked her teacher. I had no complaints, really, except that we knew in our hearts there was something missing.

We longed for more. More shared experiences. More tailored education. A greater focus on the Creator of the beauty that surrounded us. A desire to dig deeper into family life. More storytime. More field trips. Less rushing to go our separate ways every morning. More LIFE.

That was fifteen years ago. Our beautiful second grader is now a beautiful wife and is expecting her own child this year. Time goes by fast.

In the past fifteen years, we’ve seen a lot of changes in the homeschool community. There is much more pressure being put on homeschoolers to excel academically. We’ve gone from a few brave moms who, without access to mainstream “curriculum”, managed to give their children an excellent education—but we’ve forgotten what made it excellent.

It was excellent because these moms had a vision for homeschooling—they weren’t trying to re-create school at home. They were simply being obedient to the One who had called them to be different. They knew that if He had called them, He would equip them. And they were right.

When I was brand-new to homeschooling, I did the only thing I knew how to do: I set up a classroom in our home—complete with desks like the ones I had in school.

We soon began to understand that those desks, however, were not going to work over the long haul. What we really needed was a comfy couch, where we could curl up and read about the life of a hermit crab named Pagoo or discover the mysteries of the Island of Capri. Yes, a couch was what we needed.

For years, I notebooked with our children. We took nature walks and studied the seasons together. We did copy work and read stories of brave men and women who followed God with an abandon that most only dream about. And we spent a lot of time on the couch.

My husband (the patience of this man knows no limits) hauled the desks back up the stairs and out of the house. We sold them at a garage sale in the spring of 1999.

And today, as I look closely at our homeschool, I have to ask, “What makes me different?”

It’s easy to be held hostage by the expectations of the world.

I see it all around me—and I feel it myself. The pressure is enormous. Why don’t my kids know Latin?

Am I doing enough?

Most of us took our children out of public school in search of something more, only to be hijacked by the world’s system—right there on the couches in our living rooms. We’re putting our kids into hyper-academic “homeschooling” programs and we’re allowing the pressure of the “what ifs” to determine what we teach our children. Yes. We’re falling for it. Does this sound familiar?

We can’t read today, kids. We have too much math to do.
Mommy would love to play with you; but you need to finish your schoolwork first. And don’t forget about yesterday’s work.
We’ll do that later, after we do school.
Where is your list of assignments from the co-op?

Our Bibles gather dust—or worse—become just another thing to check off of our curriculum checklist.

* Read one chapter in Hebrews. *check here when done*

So many homeschool moms today are suffering from burnout—and I get it. The pressure to do more is enormous. But I wonder … is all this “more” really what God had in mind when He called us to be different? Somehow, I don’t think He meant for us to bring our children home only to have our home life hijacked by a worldly philosophy of education. I don’t think God meant for us—or our children—to struggle under the weight of someone else’s idea of a “proper” education.

I think—just maybe—He meant for us to be free.

Free to read aloud. All day if we want to. Even with our high schoolers.
Free to draw and create.
Free to discover the beauty of Creation—unhurried—and without the expectation of a report that is due about our “discovery” at the end of the next day.
Free to forget about preschool.
Free to take a hot chocolate walk for no reason.
Free … to know Him more.

It’s hard to do that when we’re always on someone else’s schedule.

If you are being held hostage by a burdensome curriculum or a program that promises to get your kid into college—and if you’re wondering if this was really the life that God had designed for you, I challenge you to look at those first homeschool moms. They set the bar—and they did it without expensive “all inclusive” programs. They did it by faith. They did it because they knew God would provide for their every need if they would only trust Him to guide and direct them.

These precious moms found out that God is faithful. He can be trusted. His mercies are new every day.

His yoke is easy. His burden is light.

Ask Him what He has for you and your children. If you are not experiencing the “life” you were looking for when you began your homeschooling journey, it may be that you’re not giving the Lord permission to lead you there.

I know—because for all my trying— and even after I have experienced the freedom that comes from a more relational approach to homeschooling, I often find myself a hostage of homeschooling rather than a mom who is enjoying the gift that she has been given through homeschooling. It’s easy, even for a mom who has graduated a few children, to wonder if she’s doing enough.

If you’re being held hostage today—ask the Lord to show you His heart for your homeschool. Because in following Him, you’ll find the LIFE you’re looking for.

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