

Culture Creep and the Sidelining of Parents

Guest post by Steve Lambert
Former pastor and Publisher of Five in a Row
There comes a time in doing pastoral counseling when you run out of answers and you need to stall a moment and ask God for wisdom. Through the years, I had developed a question that would buy me a minute or two of silence to cry out to the Lord for insight in difficult situations. I would ask, “when you pray, how do you see God? Do you envision an ancient man on a throne, or a resurrected Jesus, or a gentle shepherd or perhaps the celestial heavens?” Most people would pause to consider while I prayed with urgency for direction and help.
But one day I got a startling answer from a troubled young woman. She began crying softly and as I waited she finally responded, “I see newsprint?” I wasn’t prepared for that answer. I probed gently, “do you mean, like a page of newspaper?” She nodded. I waited. Finally I ventured another question, “do you have any idea why you see newsprint when you pray?” The tears came in a flood now as she nodded.
At last, she composed herself enough to speak.
“I never saw my father’s face when I bared my soul to him. When I would talk to him all I ever saw was the back of the newspaper he was reading as he vaguely responded with an occasional ‘uh-huh’ or ‘oh’ while I poured out my heart to him. I know that when I pray, God isn’t paying any attention to me because he has more important things to do than listen to my problems.” I sat stunned.
As fathers, perhaps nothing we do is as important as realizing we shape our children’s understanding of the character and nature of God–for better or worse. How we listen, how we respond, what we say and what we do offers a blueprint. Could there possibly be a more sobering thought? Each inattentive moment where we’re watching the football game on the screen across the room, or checking or email on our phone, or wishing they would stop their incessant babbling defines God a bit more clearly for our child.
The things we buy them, or the vacations we plan for our children are important. But they pale in comparison to the image of what a father is like; an image which we define little by little, day by day. It is the most important job we will ever have. I ask that you pray over this truth. Talk about it with the Lord. Ask Him to help you become His ambassador and represent His nature and character accurately in the lives of the little ones around you. Even if you didn’t grow up with a good example in your own natural father, the Lord can help you become the kind of father who helps your children know the nature of their heavenly Father.
Steve Lambert
“I’ll be the angel by your side, I will get you through the night. I’ll be the strength you can’t provide on your own. ‘Cause when you’re down and out of time, and you think you’ve lost the fight, let me be the angel. The angel by your side.” These are the sweet lyrics that I heard my little angel, Anelysse, singing as she was listening to Francesca Battistelli. Each time I hear one of my three daughters singing lyrics to their favorite songs, I find such joy in knowing that the words they are communicating are good and honorable to God.
About 4 years ago when my girls were 9, 6, and 5, my oldest daughter was developing her love for music. She was just beginning to show interest in the popular music her friends were listening to. I figured that if she was going to be learning secular songs and singing them word for word, I better approve the content! So, I looked up lyrics to some of the songs. (I won’t give you names of songs or artists because I don’t want this to be a condemnation of secular music.) Well, let’s just say that some of the words were not ones I would like my daughters repeating over and over again. We live in a world where our daughters seem to be growing up way too fast, and I feel that the messages within certain secular songs (not all) definitely contribute to that.
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Realizing that my daughter needed a substitute for the music she was desiring to listen to, I began my search for popular Christian artists that would appeal to her. It wasn’t long before I discovered some fabulous songs that I just knew my girls would LOVE! Thrilled with my results, I immediately ordered CDs by: Britt Nicole, Dara Maclean, Moriah Peters, Jamie Grace, and Francesca Batistelli. I gave each of my daughters the CDs for Christmas and just as I hoped, they instantly fell in love with the music!! Lauren Dagle is another favorite.
Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence, and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.”
I really take this scripture to heart and desire it not only for my own life, but for my precious daughters’ lives as well. That’s why my quest for honorable music was so important. I knew that if they had a love for music like their parents do, it needed to have a message that focused their thoughts on something true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, good, excellent, and WORTHY OF PRAISE!
I’m not saying that they are never allowed to listen to secular music. They occasionally hear my husband’s favorite classic rock tunes or my old Louis Armstrong records that I like to listen to, and my youngest daughter has discovered that she likes ELVIS! But when my girls are rocking out to their favorite music and singing the songs over and over again, my desire is for the words coming out of their mouths to be pleasing to the Lord. Psalm 19:14 says, “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” There’s power in our words, even in the songs we choose to sing. Let our words be LOVELY and of GOOD REPUTE. HONORABLE to GOD!!
So, I encourage you, mamas. Take time to learn some of the lyrics to the music your kids are listening to. If you don’t approve, have a conversation with them about music and the power of words. When you hear songs that aren’t honoring to God, take the opportunity to talk about them and the worldview they communicate and whether that measures up to Biblical truth. The younger your kids are, the better. Turn them on to honorable music during their elementary years so that when they are teens, they choose music that is pleasing to God!
Perhaps you’ve caught on to the whole Bible Journaling Craze. If you Google it or go on Pinterest you see beautifully illustrated Bibles EVERYWHERE! Some are pretty spectacular and obviously created by talented artists. You’ll also find words of encouragement for Bible Journaling “Beginners” and lots of templates/coloring pages you can use if you don’t consider yourself an artist.
I have been Bible journaling for 7 months now and I absolutely LOVE it. From the time I was little, I have always had a passion for art. Coloring was my favorite pastime and so I entered a lot of coloring contests as a kid (and won some). There were also art classes I took in high-school that taught me things like how to blend and layer with colored pencils. Although I found much pleasure with art, I never pursued it as a career, because I felt like my true gifting was with music, playing my flute. Now that I’m a busy mom I hardly have time to play my flute, let alone sit down to draw a picture… UNTIL, I discovered Bible Journaling!!
Bible journaling is something that gives more meaning to taking time out of a busy day to create art. Finding a scripture that resonates with me and then copying it with creative lettering, adding colorful illustrations in the margins of my Bible make God’s words even more beautiful than they already are. The Bible verses leap off the page and come to life for me! But, this post is not about what I can do in my Bible. This is about what YOU can do in YOUR Bible. So, if you’ve thought at all about starting to Bible journal but wondered how to start, here are a few simple and easy journaling ideas for you…
USE A PENCIL: I don’t know about you, but I was a little hesitant to start drawing in my Bible. What if I didn’t like the outcome? It’s not like you can just throw the page away and start over! That’s why I always use a pencil before outlining in pen or coloring with colored pencils. It definitely helps with planning a good layout for your page.
TRY DIFFERENT FONTS: I like to use a combination of different fonts when I copy a scripture. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Try writing a few words all in UPPERCASE letters (especially words that are important to you like GOD, JESUS, HOLY SPIRIT). By using all caps it really makes those words stand out on the page. Then, try writing in all lowercase letters, or making your letters tall and skinny. Remember in high-school when we wrote in block or bubble letters? That’s fun to do in your Bible too! And, of course we all have different styles of handwriting. Don’t be afraid of yours. USE IT!! It’s who you are.
FLOWERS: You don’t have to be an artist to draw flowers. If you can draw a circle, you can draw a flower! Even the simplest of flowers can be beautiful in the margins of your Bible. For the more intricate flowers, try pinning some photos on Pinterest to refer to for inspiration.
LEAVES: I can never draw enough leaves in my Bible 🙂 They can be a simple border around your words or they can get wild and crazy like a vine that grows every which way! All you have to do is draw a few long squiggly lines with little oval shapes attached to the lines in random places, and voila… LEAVES!
COLOR, COLOR, COLOR: For me, colored pencils are the perfect tool that make your art come to life in your Bible. I started with an inexpensive set of Crayola colored pencils. But, then I treated myself to a set of Prismacolors that were on sale and that is what I use all the time now. They are definitely worth the price!
PIGMA MICRON PENS: They are awesome! Amazon usually has these pens on sale. They come in different tip sizes and colors. They even have brush pens, which are lots of fun to use. The pens are good quality and won’t bleed through the pages of a durable journaling bible.
I hope this gives you a little motivation to give Bible Journaling a try. If you’ve already been journaling, what are some of your ideas?
The never ending chore of keeping the bedrooms clean can cause a fair amount of tension if we choose to let it. I’m not a mother who requires that bedrooms get picked up every day, because imaginary play often goes on from one day to the next, and I hate to squelch it. That said, there are plenty of things that can be handled consistently to help keep a bedroom under control. But eventually, it all needs to get cleaned up so we can vacuum or sweep… at least once or twice a year! :blushing: This task can be overwhelming for a child, and we need to be understanding about that. Considering the number of decisions required to put away 9,743 objects in an hour, we should have some compassion. Here are a few tips to help it be a manageable – and hopefully successful – task!
You can do this, Busy Mom!
Do you have tips to share that simplify this task at your house?
Jimmy Kimmel hit a new low in my book last week when he had children interviewed about their thoughts on gay marriage outside his LA studio. He wanted them to explain it. At first, my husband and I just sat there puzzling (a friend sent us the link) over why he thought it was appropriate to pull kids into the USA’s gay celebration—but then—we realized that this really is the new normal. Jimmy’s just going with the flow.
Over the past week, I’ve received several posts and emails from mothers asking how to talk to their kids about what is happening in the culture. After all, this is startlingly new territory for parents: explaining why a man is being celebrated as a woman on the cover of a magazine is not something we’re used to talking about. Here’s the thing: If we don’t set a place for the truth of Scripture at the table of our children’s hearts, the world will set out a feast all it’s own.
Talk we must.
So what do we tell our children? How do we talk to them as Christian parents? If you’re searching for your footing, here’s some ideas and direction:
Ephesians 6:12
“For we do not wrestle with flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in heavenly places.”Consider the word Paul uses here to describe what’s happening around you every day. He says we are “wrestling,” but not against flesh and blood. Wrestling is a very personal fight. Every day, we wake up on a spiritual battle field. The place where the devil wages war against individual believers is in the mind. Our goal is to first steal back any thoughts that the devil places in our minds and give those thoughts over, “taking them captive” to the mind of Christ. Even Paul’s use of the word “captive” reminds us that there are captives in this war.
Do your kids know about putting on the armor of God? Read what the Bible says here.
Daniel learned of the decree but did not change his habit of praying to God. Just as he had done all his life, he went home, knelt down, faced Jerusalem, and prayed to God. The wicked administrators caught him and told the king. King Darius, who loved Daniel. He tried to save him, but the decree could not be revoked.
At sundown, they threw Daniel into the den of lions. The king was so worried and upset, he could not eat or sleep all night. At dawn he ran to the lions’ den and asked Daniel if his God had protected him. Daniel replied,
“My God sent his angel, and he shut the mouths of the lions. They have not hurt me, because I was found innocent in his sight. Nor have I ever done any wrong
Scripture says the king was overjoyed. Daniel was brought out, unharmed, “…because he had trusted in his God.” (Daniel 6:23, NIV)
God’s Word is true and He can be trusted! The culture may change, but God does not change. His standard is right—and as Christians, we are called to follow Him—no matter what. God takes good care of His people. We do not need to be afraid.
The Bible teaches that we are to be ready to give a defense for the Scripture “in season and out of season.”
We either believe God’s Word or we don’t—and we demonstrate that by the way we live our lives.
Will you be set apart? Dare to be a Daniel!
I remember before I had kids, I would watch misbehaved children and think, “MY kids will NOT act that way.” I had many theories about discipline and raising kids. Now I have eight kids and no theories.
What I never factored into disciplining our kids was the deep love and attachment I would have for them. It never dawned on me that I would care if they liked me and I certainly didn’t plan that one minute they could turn my world upside down and make me crazy and the next minute become the cuddliest, cutest little human being EVER.
Two of our kids are married with babies of their own and our third is a senior in college. We still have 4 teens in the house and a 10 year old, and with that comes some perspective (not to be confused with having all the answers). They still sometimes turn my world upside down…and then win my heart back in a split second with a simple gesture. I never imagined I could get so frustrated and angry and still love so deeply. The wildest roller coaster can’t even begin to compare to this ride of raising kids.
In so many ways, I’m a very different mom than 24 years ago and, in hindsight, some of the hills I thought were worth dying on, weren’t. But the flip side is that I can see more clearly (than ever) the ones that are. I see the necessity for our kids to hear the truth about sin and our deep need for a Savior. I feel the urgency to make sure that I do everything I can to help them grasp the value of what Jesus did on the cross for us and understand how important it is to own their own relationship with Him. I want the Word of God to be what they filter EVERYTHING through: work, church, relationships, culture.
God says that our children are like arrows. In order for an arrow to to fly so it won’t veer off in the wrong direction, it needs to be “true”. “True” as in straight. God also says that these children are like arrows IN THE HANDS OF A WARRIOR and anyone who has been a mom knows that motherhood is NOT for the faint hearted. We are warriors…MOM WARRIORS. This means that we are in a battle, a battle with a very REAL enemy. He wants our children’s souls and we have to FIGHT for them.
Our kids come into this world helpless, but also as sinners who need a Savior. They are crooked and by the grace of God, we fight to straighten them so that when these arrows are released by our bow, they fly “true” and straight and fulfill the purposes to which God has called them. We do this through training and discipline. Disciplining them for their good, out of love for them, out of a desire to help them avoid foolishness, which God says will lead to destruction and, instead, point them toward wisdom, which He says leads to life and blessings.
So much of this is done by example, but above all it happens on our knees, because the truth is that the deep work that needs to happen in any of our hearts is only done by the power of the Holy Spirit. Ultimately only HE can turn our hearts toward Him and straighten what is crooked.
No greater battles are fought than from the humble position of prayer, asking for God’s grace and mercy on our kids’ lives and for wisdom to raise “true” arrows.