I always thought that putting up Christmas decorations was going to be a fun family “thing.” You know. A tradition.

{I pictured this}

All the kids gathering around, waiting for their turn to help, eager to put Thanksgiving decorations away and make room for Christmas. Hot cider simmering on the stove and Christmas music coming through the stereo.

I pictured it that way. Turns out, real life rarely cooperates with the way I picture it.

I became a mother in the fall of 1991. From the time our first child was about 3 months old, I dreamed about decorating the house together for Christmas.  Funny thing though, real life Christmas decorating never goes like the dream.. or at least, if it does, it’s rare.

Ten minutes into our memory making extravaganza, someone got into an argument. Child “A” didn’t want to clean child “D’s” mess or even finish what they started. Tempers flared. I found myself getting upset.

After all, I was making memories for them, right?! Didn’t anyone care?

Last night, as we took down our fall decorations and put up the tree, here’s what really happened:

we discovered a mouse had been living in the Christmas tree box … and yes, it was that bad
two children decided it was a good day to fight over who REALLY cleaned their room last
I smashed my finger in between the table and the wall as we were moving it to make room for the stinky tree
teens would rather be in their rooms
four-year old broke an heirloom ornament
3/4 of our Christmas lights wouldn’t work
mom and dad argued.  Imagine that.

Not exactly pinterest-perfect… but then, when is it ever that way? Real life is messy. Even when it’s supposed to be great — it can still be hard… but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it!

After we had  Thanksgiving leftovers for dinner, I went to tuck our littlest into bed.

“Mom?” she said, “Are you fru-ster-ated with me? Are you mad?”

“No, sweet girl. Mommy’s just tired. I love you,” I said wearily.

“Well,” she continued, “Christmas is here. And I’m glad you’re my mom! I love Christmas!”

I guess she didn’t notice what I noticed. Maybe, just maybe, we’re trying too hard, because even when things don’t go as I’d like, the time I’m investing in my children is making an impact on them. These moments we’re working so hard to create may feel like a big failure at times, but when you stand back and look with a little perspective, things look different.

Even when tempers flare and feelings are hurt, I’m teaching them how to deal with real life. And teaching them—is what it’s all about.

So, if your plans for a perfect holiday (or a perfect whatever) don’t go as you’d like, hang in there.

If you’re tired and need a little extra hug right now—here you go.
Motherhood is the hardest, best job in the world.
What you’re doing … matters.
You’re doing better than you know.
Don’t grow weary in doing good—the harvest is coming!

Christmas doesn’t have to be perfect for it to be memorable. Kids need your presence more than your presents. If you’re giving them the gift of you, in real life, you’re doing better than you know.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9

I want to let you in on a secret about writing Christian books. There’s a 100 percent guarantee that Jesus will get up in your face about the very topic you’re addressing. I wrote my first book about approval, so of course I struggled with wanting approval. I wrote my second book on happiness and then walked through an Eeyore-ish season in my life.

Well, I’m no dummy. That’s why I told Jesus I wanted to write a book on the topic of beaches. This was the ultimate spiritual throwdown. I was pretty sure I had brilliantly set myself up for a challenge from God: “Go forth, therefore, and determine the quality of beach sand in Maui and compare it to the beach sand in Tahiti.” Clearly, I am willing to suffer for Jesus.

But then I forgot about my beach-book idea. Instead, I wrote book on releasing control—because I needed that book. I had to release control a lot that year:

– when our oldest daughter started driving
– when our youngest daughter suffered with chronic illness
– when my mother was hospitalized for three months with a life-threatening infection, and my amputee father lived with us.

All of that happened while I was writing It’s All Under Control. During those trying months, I repeatedly found myself with my head in my hands, praying this prayer: Jesus take the wheel.

Yep, I needed the message of the book. Turns out, you needed it too.

Does it ever feel like the chaos in your life might break you? Have you ever cried so hard over your circumstances that you thought you might run yourself out of tears?

So much of life can feel out of control, and if you’re like me you end up feeling powerless. Looking back, sometimes you can see where things got off track. Other times, the trouble comes out of the blue. You did all the right things, yet the worst news came your way.

There’s so much in life that we can’t control:

Circumstances.
Weather.
Airport delays.
The tumor growing in unseen places.
The economy.
The political climate.
What people think about us.
How our kids will “turn out.”

But can I tell you a secret? We have more control than we think.

We are not powerless. Great freedom comes when we let go of what we can’t control, and rise up to take charge of what we can.

That’s why I’ve put together this list for you, “Things You Can Control.”Click here to download the print. Then frame it, tape it to your refrigerator, set it by your computer, or slip it in your journal.

Because of God at work in you, you have more power than you dared imagine.

Of course, there are so many things that we can’t control. God can handle those for you.

Click here to download and print this list, “What God Can Handle,”  as a reminder that no matter what we can’t handle, God still can.

To hear more from Jennifer on my podcast,  listen here!

Jennifer Dukes Lee is the author of the forthcoming book, It’s All Under Control. In the book, now available for preorder, Jennifer walks you through a journey of letting go, hanging on and finding a peace you almost forgot was possible.

THE BUSY TO BEST CHALLENGE: Are you tired of the tyranny of being “crazy busy?” Join Jennifer for her Busy to Best Challenge, happening in churches, homes and coffee shops across the country September 24-October 1. Click here for details.

Suffering. There is something revealing about it. Something about visceral pain that says to the inner man, “Wake up and pay attention!” Something about feeling helpless in a waiting room that makes you realize how helpless you were before you ever got there.

We don’t ask to suffer, but it comes anyway—and when it does, you discover *for real* what you are made of and who you trust.

It’s been almost a week since our sweet nephew was involved in a devastating car accident that left him comatose and paralyzed with a severe brain injury. My heart is aching, at times, even breaking for my precious sister and her family. Words fail me. I put myself in my sister’s place. More hurt.  I find myself asking God for signs … *any sign*, if I’m honest, that says “I’m here. I’m doing something.”

We pray. We sing. We trust—we hope—and we wait.

Wait for an answer that will help us make sense of what seems senseless. Wait for the next MRI, wait for a glimpse of what God is asking of us. Wait for clear direction. Oh, the wait is excruciating.

This is a hard, hard road.

Last night, as I cried with one of my sisters on the phone, it occurred to me that I need to look beyond where Bobby is and begin to look at where my family is. There is so much more to the story than what social media can tell. Isn’t that always the case?

We are a large family… and we’ve been through a lot.  We love each other fiercely. But honestly? I’ve never seen my family like this. I’ve never seen such love, such unity, such hope. But then, we’ve never been so full of grief before.

Like most extended families, ours has struggled. Divorce, faithlessness, heartache. Prodigals. We’ve felt all of it, but nothing has done in our hearts what Bobby’s injury is doing. Nothing has come close.

God is using Bobby’s suffering to bring a supernatural healing, one that is being forged in the fires of suffering.

While we wait for Bobby’s healing, I give God thanks for getting our attention and reminding us of what really matters.

It’s love.

Because of Bobby, it’s bubbling to the surface in our family, in our community and in the larger body of Christ.

We trust in the goodness of God and know that He is working, even now. Not only is He healing Bobby, he is healing us.

That’s part of the miracle. While we wait the next step with Bobby, we will keep walking this out together. For that, I am grateful. I am grateful for the outpouring of prayer and love that is being shown to my family. I’m thankful that because of Christ, we do not fear death. I’m thankful to know that God is capable of performing heart surgery (you know, the soul kind) even while is holding and healing Bobby.

I’m thankful for you, Jesus. We praise you in this storm. Thank you that You’re fighting on our behalf. Thank you for the miracles we are already seeing—and ones we have yet to see.

 “You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.'”
2 Chronicles 20:17

#miraclesforBobby #prayforBobbyAsa #faith #jesuspeople #webelieve #godhasthis #thebusymom #heidistjohn