Tag Archives: tweens

Giving Our Kids the Gift of Boredom!

I can hear them now as my hubby and I wash up after dinner.  They are running around, enjoying the respite from our intense desert sun while they soak up that important time outside.  One boy runs inside to inform me that he’s discovered a new path.  Really it is just a long stretch of space behind a line of bushes.  But in his mind, it is ripe with mystery and opportunity.  He grabs at my hand, begging me to explore this path with him.  I arrive in time for a lizard funeral as boys relay their attempt to rescue this scaly creature from a bird.  In the span of 2 minutes, we’ve discussed funeral practices, heaven, predator/prey relationships, and compassion.  And I didn’t have to plan a thing.

Giving our kids the gift of time - a better way of staying busy...

Ahhh, the lazy days of summer – when kids run wild – exploring, building forts, climbing trees, forming clubs, reading books.  Well, that’s the way it used to be anyways.

These days we are all about programs and bucket lists…

And if we aren’t keeping our kids busy and occupied with these than we give them our ipads, smartphones or some other kind of screen to keep them occupied.

But what if we did something drastic and returned to the good ol’ days, the lazy days of summer?  What if we embraced the value of time – time to be bored – knowing that we are allowing their imagination, their curiosity, their ingenuity to develop?

They say that “necessity is the mother of invention,” but I’d venture to add that a bit of boredom accomplishes this too!  It takes skill to know what to do with oneself.  If we remove distractions and take the time to provide these opportunities, think of what a gift we can give them.    And while we are at it, we can unplug and just be as well.  We can be present – enter into their worlds, bring them into ours.  We can read, talk, bake, and explore free from the confines of “busyness.”  Our culture has idolized the concept of being busy and redefined what that looks like.  It is program focused, instead of people focused.  And all too often it leaves us frantic, disconnected, and unable to just be there for the little things in life.  Life is busy, but let’s take a look at what we are busy doing and then help our children learn how to constructively occupy their own time without always doing it for them.  Because these are the moments when most of life’s lessons are learned.  It’s nearly impossible to plan for; we simply need to be available.

So how do we embrace this kind of “time?”  I’m sharing a few ideas about how to embrace boredom in a way that cultivates creativity over at my blog, Cultivated Lives.

Heather.


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Finding Your Child’s Learning Style

My daughter sat, if you can call it that, splayed wildly across two chairs and chatted light-heartedly about some birds she had seen outside her window that morning.

Curious, I questioned her, “Have you finished your math?”

Exasperated, I realized that she had barely made a dent in her assignment.

Hands up if this is going on in your home?

My daughter is not generally a willful or disobedient child. She is, however, a kinesthetic learner who really does need to move in order to learn well. Moving while she does her schoolwork helps her to think and remember. These days, now that I understand the impact of different learning styles, you will find her doing her schoolwork sitting atop a large fitness ball bouncing in a crazy fashion, and finishing her work in record time.

What are learning styles?

I never gave learning styles much thought until I began homeschooling my kids. I thrived in the traditional school environment (as do many teachers). Then I began to teach my dyslexic kids and my eyes were opened to a world of learning differences that I never knew existed.

A learning style simply refers to the way a person learns best. Everyone has a mix of learning styles, utilizing all of the senses, however many people find that they have a dominant style of learning. There is no right or wrong learning style – just different. Traditional schooling tends to focus primarily on reading and writing (a predominantly linguistic or verbal learning style) to gain and assess the acquisition of knowledge. The result has been that students who have other learning style strengths tend to do poorly with these methods, earn poor grades and bad reputations for being less bright than other kids.

This has been true in my life. I found growing up that I was very good at memorizing random information for tests. I could visualize the words on paper and during a test, could choose the best answer based on this picture in my head. However, I was quick to forget this information after the test and rarely acquired a good understanding of the subject. My dyslexic husband, on the other hand, did poorly in school, yet has a much better understanding of the flow of history and science than I, having weak memorization skills but strong skill in logic.

By recognizing and understanding our own learning styles, we can use techniques better suited to our unique families. This has the added benefit of improving the speed and quality of learning.

Seven Learning Styles

  • Visual (spatial): You prefer using pictures, images, and spatial understanding. Try using images, pictures, color and other visual media to help your kids learn.
  • Aural (auditory-musical): You prefer using sound and music. Try using sound, rhyme and music in your learning.
  • Verbal (linguistic): You prefer using words, both in speech and writing. Try to find ways to incorporate more speaking and writing in your teaching.
  • Physical (kinesthetic): You prefer using your body, hands and sense of touch. Try using touch, action, movement and hands-on work in your learning.
  • Logical (mathematical): You prefer using logic, reasoning and systems. Teach the detail behind behind concepts being taught as opposed to mere rote learning.
  • Social (interpersonal): You prefer to learn in groups or with other people. Try working on lessons as a group, find a study group and use role-playing concepts you are trying to learn.
  • Solitary (intrapersonal): You prefer to work alone and use self-study.

Research has actually shown that each learning pathway uses different parts of the brain. By involving more of the brain during learning, it is easier to remember what is being taught. This is often referred to as multi-sensory teaching.

If you are experiencing difficulties in your homeschool, you may want to go online and take one of the many free learning style assessments available.  And don’t forget to test your own learning style.  Sometimes our learning style as the teacher does not appeal to the learning style of our kids.  Understanding learning styles will help you to think outside the box and find a method that works for both of you!

Roadblocks in homeschooling are often an indicator that it is time to change things.  If your kids are struggling with their homeschooling, maybe it is time you considered the learning styles of you and your children.

Heidi St John Homeschooling Guide to Daylight

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Culture Creep and the Sidelining of Parents

Something sad and fascinating is happening to parents in this postmodern era. They’re being lied to. They’re being told that they aren’t necessary and what’s worse they’re buying the lie! After all, they say the “village” can do it better. Well, I’ve seen the village. I don’t want it raising my kids.
I call it “culture creep.” I live in a rural (well, it used to be rural) part of Washington State. Slowly but surely, urban sprawl has reached my town. I like the convenience that comes with it; for example, we just got Red Robin and Walmart last year… but I don’t like the traffic. I loathe the congested streets and long lines at the grocery store. I miss the “small town” feel that it used to have at Christmas and the 4th of July.
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Culture is the same way. Except that from what I can tell, we’re not benefitting one bit. There are no perks. The culture has it’s own agenda. Look carefully. It’s creeping up into places where parents should not want it to go.
 
Slowly but surely, culture is shutting parents out of what should be the parent’s primary place: decision makers in the lives of their children. Parents have the right and responsibility to know what is happening with their children.
 
In August 2016, I learned that Anne Arundel County Public Schools in Maryland, in a effort to make their schools “safe spaces” for kids who identify as transgender, produced a training video, starring the district’s chief communications officer, Bob Mosier. The video surfaced a few days ago on The American Conservative, but was uploaded on YouTube in mid-July.

 In it, Mr. Mosier makes a few key suggestions to teachers and chaperones who take students on overnight trips—chief among them is the advice that if a transgender student wants to sleep with students of the opposite sex, just let them.
 
Oh, and pssst! By the way: since the school values the transgender student’s privacy, make sure no one tells the parents.
 
This is what I’m talking about.
Since when did we stop valuing a parent’s right to know what in the world is happening with their children? How can parents make wise decisions for their children if information is being purposely withheld from them? How can we protect our kids if we don’t know what they’re being taught or exposed to?
 
Parents today are being told that kids can make their own decisions (starting in elementary school) on everything from birth control to which gender they want to be. What used to be regarded as a parents responsibility is often seen as an infringement on the child.
 
Here in my state, simple tasks like looking at my 13 yr olds’ medical records require effort, persistence and even permission from my 13 year old. If we want to stay in the race and finish it well, we must refuse to be sidelined. Moms who go the distance possess a willingness to endure rather than become a passive onlooker in the lives of their children.
 
I understand that there are abuse situations that require different measures, but shutting healthy parents out of the lives of their kids is not the solution. Keeping parents from knowing what is happening with their children at school should not be commonplace! It should be a crime.
 
When the world says “give up” or “it’s not your business,” I challenge you to stand up for the sake of your child. Go ahead and risk being annoying. Be the mom who knows the names of your child’s friends. Be the mom who asks the hard questions and loves unconditionally.  Be the mom who refuses to be sidelined and instead guides her child in the way of Truth through every stage of growing up, including adolescence.
Our kids need their parents. They don’t need the government or the school system to teach them about the big things in life, they need their parents.
And parents? Today’s parents need the wisdom of Solomon. They need the wisdom that comes straight from God Himself.

What Blueprint Are You Sketching on the Hearts of Your Kids?

Dads are so important! What blueprint are you sketching on the hearts of your kids?

Guest post by Steve Lambert
Former pastor and Publisher of Five in a Row

There comes a time in doing pastoral counseling when you run out of answers and you need to stall a moment and ask God for wisdom. Through the years, I had developed a question that would buy me a minute or two of silence to cry out to the Lord for insight in difficult situations. I would ask, “when you pray, how do you see God? Do you envision an ancient man on a throne, or a resurrected Jesus, or a gentle shepherd or perhaps the celestial heavens?” Most people would pause to consider while I prayed with urgency for direction and help.

But one day I got a startling answer from a troubled young woman. She began crying softly and as I waited she finally responded, “I see newsprint?” I wasn’t prepared for that answer. I probed gently, “do you mean, like a page of newspaper?” She nodded. I waited. Finally I ventured another question, “do you have any idea why you see newsprint when you pray?” The tears came in a flood now as she nodded.

At last, she composed herself enough to speak.

“I never saw my father’s face when I bared my soul to him. When I would talk to him all I ever saw was the back of the newspaper he was reading as he vaguely responded with an occasional ‘uh-huh’ or ‘oh’ while I poured out my heart to him. I know that when I pray, God isn’t paying any attention to me because he has more important things to do than listen to my problems.” I sat stunned.

As fathers, perhaps nothing we do is as important as realizing we shape our children’s understanding of the character and nature of God–for better or worse. How we listen, how we respond, what we say and what we do offers a blueprint. Could there possibly be a more sobering thought? Each inattentive moment where we’re watching the football game on the screen across the room, or checking or email on our phone, or wishing they would stop their incessant babbling defines God a bit more clearly for our child.

The things we buy them, or the vacations we plan for our children are important. But they pale in comparison to the image of what a father is like; an image which we define little by little, day by day. It is the most important job we will ever have. I ask that you pray over this truth. Talk about it with the Lord. Ask Him to help you become His ambassador and represent His nature and character accurately in the lives of the little ones around you. Even if you didn’t grow up with a good example in your own natural father, the Lord can help you become the kind of father who helps your children know the nature of their heavenly Father.

Steve Lambert

How to shape music desires while kids are young.

How to Shape Music Desires While Kids Are Young

How to shape music desires while kids are young.

“I’ll be the angel by your side, I will get you through the night.  I’ll be the strength you can’t provide on your own.  ‘Cause when you’re down and out of time, and you think you’ve lost the fight, let me be the angel.  The angel by your side.”  These are the sweet lyrics that I heard my little angel, Anelysse, singing as she was listening to Francesca Battistelli.  Each time I hear one of my three daughters singing lyrics to their favorite songs, I find such joy in knowing that the words they are communicating are good and honorable to God.

About 4 years ago when my girls were 9, 6, and 5, my oldest daughter was developing her love for music.  She was just beginning to show interest in the popular music her friends were listening to.  I figured that if she was going to be learning secular songs and singing them word for word, I better approve the content!  So, I looked up lyrics to some of the songs.  (I won’t give you names of songs or artists because I don’t want this to be a condemnation of secular music.)  Well, let’s just say that some of the words were not ones I would like my daughters repeating over and over again.  We live in a world where our daughters seem to be growing up way too fast, and I feel that the messages within certain secular songs (not all) definitely contribute to that.

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Realizing that my daughter needed a substitute for the music she was desiring to listen to, I began my search for popular Christian artists that would appeal to her.  It wasn’t long before I discovered some fabulous songs that I just knew my girls would LOVE!  Thrilled with my results, I immediately ordered CDs by:  Britt Nicole, Dara Maclean, Moriah Peters, Jamie Grace, and Francesca Batistelli.  I gave each of my daughters the CDs for Christmas and just as I hoped, they instantly fell in love with the music!!  Lauren Dagle is another favorite.

Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence, and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.”

I really take this scripture to heart and desire it not only for my own life, but for my precious daughters’ lives as well.  That’s why my quest for honorable music was so important.  I knew that if they had a love for music like their parents do, it needed to have a message that focused their thoughts on something true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, good, excellent, and WORTHY OF PRAISE!

I’m not saying that they are never allowed to listen to secular music.  They occasionally hear my husband’s favorite classic rock tunes or my old Louis Armstrong records that I like to listen to, and my youngest daughter has discovered that she likes ELVIS!  But when my girls are rocking out to their favorite music and singing the songs over and over again, my desire is for the words coming out of their mouths to be pleasing to the Lord.  Psalm 19:14 says, “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.”    There’s power in our words, even in the songs we choose to sing.  Let our words be LOVELY and of GOOD REPUTE.  HONORABLE to GOD!!

So, I encourage you, mamas.  Take time to learn some of the lyrics to the music your kids are listening to.  If you don’t approve, have a conversation with them about music and the power of words. When you hear songs that aren’t honoring to God, take the opportunity to talk about them and the worldview they communicate and whether that measures up to Biblical truth.  The younger your kids are, the better.  Turn them on to honorable music during their elementary years so that when they are teens, they choose music that is pleasing to God!

Easy Bible Journaling Ideas

Perhaps you’ve caught on to the whole Bible Journaling Craze.  If you Google it or go on Pinterest you see beautifully illustrated Bibles EVERYWHERE!  Some are pretty spectacular and obviously created by talented artists. You’ll also find words of encouragement for Bible Journaling “Beginners” and lots of templates/coloring pages you can use if you don’t consider yourself an artist.

bible-journaling

I have been Bible journaling for 7 months now and I absolutely LOVE it.  From the time I was little, I have always had a passion for art.  Coloring was my favorite pastime and so I entered a lot of coloring contests as a kid (and won some).  There were also art classes I took in high-school that taught me things like how to blend and layer with colored pencils.  Although I found much pleasure with art, I never pursued it as a career, because I felt like my true gifting was with music, playing my flute.  Now that I’m a busy mom I hardly have time to play my flute, let alone sit down to draw a picture… UNTIL, I discovered Bible Journaling!!

Bible journaling is something that gives more meaning to taking time out of a busy day to create art.  Finding a scripture that resonates with me and then copying it with creative lettering, adding colorful illustrations in the margins of my Bible make God’s words even more beautiful than they already are.  The Bible verses leap off the page and come to life for me!  But, this post is not about what I can do in my Bible.  This is about what YOU can do in YOUR Bible.  So, if you’ve thought at all about starting to Bible journal but wondered how to start, here are a few simple and easy journaling ideas for you…

USE A PENCIL:  I don’t know about you, but I was a little hesitant to start drawing in my Bible.  What if I didn’t like the outcome?  It’s not like you can just throw the page away and start over!  That’s why I always use a pencil before outlining in pen or coloring with colored pencils.  It definitely helps with planning a good layout for your page.

TRY DIFFERENT FONTS:  I like to use a combination of different fonts when I copy a scripture.  It doesn’t have to be anything fancy.  Try writing a few words all in UPPERCASE letters (especially words that are important to you like GOD, JESUS, HOLY SPIRIT).  By using all caps it really makes those words stand out on the page.  Then, try writing in all lowercase letters, or making your letters tall and skinny.  Remember in high-school when we wrote in block or bubble letters?  That’s fun to do in your Bible too!  And, of course we all have different styles of handwriting.  Don’t be afraid of yours.  USE IT!!  It’s who you are.

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FLOWERS:  You don’t have to be an artist to draw flowers.  If you can draw a circle, you can draw a flower!  Even the simplest of flowers can be beautiful in the margins of your Bible.  For the more intricate flowers, try pinning some photos on Pinterest to refer to for inspiration.

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LEAVES:  I can never draw enough leaves in my Bible 🙂  They can be a simple border around your words or they can get wild and crazy like a vine that grows every which way!  All you have to do is draw a few long squiggly lines with little oval shapes attached to the lines in random places, and voila… LEAVES!

COLOR, COLOR, COLOR:  For me, colored pencils are the perfect tool that make your art come to life in your Bible.  I started with an inexpensive set of Crayola colored pencils.  But, then I treated myself to a set of Prismacolors that were on sale and that is what I use all the time now.  They are definitely worth the price!

PIGMA MICRON PENS:  They are awesome!   Amazon usually has these pens on sale.  They come in different tip sizes and colors. They even have brush pens, which are lots of fun to use.  The pens are good quality and won’t bleed through the pages of a durable journaling bible.

I hope this gives you a little motivation to give Bible Journaling a try.  If you’ve already been journaling, what are some of your ideas?

How to Clean a Child’s Bedroom Without Losing Your Mind

The never ending chore of keeping the bedrooms clean can cause a fair amount of tension if we choose to let it.  I’m not a mother who requires that bedrooms get picked up every day, because imaginary play often goes on from one day to the next, and I hate to squelch it.  That said, there are plenty of things that can be handled consistently to help keep a bedroom under control.  But eventually, it all needs to get cleaned up so we can vacuum or sweep… at least once or twice a year!  :blushing:  This task can be overwhelming for a child, and we need to be understanding about that.  Considering the number of decisions required to put away 9,743 objects in an hour, we should have some compassion.  Here are a few tips to help it be a manageable – and hopefully successful – task!

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  1. Make it clean-able.  Sometimes there’s just too much stuff to even be able to have it put away.  Maybe it’s a small bedroom or there aren’t enough places to put things.  Fix that!  Declutter, pass on some toys, buy storage solutions, etc.  A room full of things with no place to belong will be a constant frustration for you and your child.
  2. Have one container for “all the little things that feel like they should get thrown away but your child sees value in them.”  Yeah. Those things that you want to pitch while they’re not watching?  Chances are good that they’ll notice. (Ask me how I know.)  We use an under-bed container for these things: random flashlight, receipt, Chick Fil A toy, etc.  Anything that isn’t a group deserving of its own storage goes in this miscellaneous container, and it’s so appropriate to tuck it under the bed! Most of this stuff lives on the floor, so it’s really easy to put it away here.  🙂
  3. Pick up everything and put it in one pile.  This is hands down, my best tip.  Pick up everything – EveRYthInG – and put it into one pile. On the bed, center of the floor, or wherever you choose. (We choose center of the floor because we can sweep it there easily!)  It automatically eliminates the visual clutter that can be overwhelming to children, especially younger ones.
  4. After everything is in one pile, we pull stuff from that pile in categories.  (Make a list of the order in which you suggest they do things if you are teaching them to do this independently.) Shoes are easy to start with because they usually all go in the same place, so it’s easy and quick success.  Clothes next because they are a big part of the pile.  Then the pile is usually manageable after those two categories. After that, just take one item at a time.
  5. Don’t rant while they’re cleaning or you’re cleaning with them.  (How would I know this is a temptation?)  It will make only serve to make the experience miserable for you both and make them feel like a failure.  Turn on some music to keep the mood light if you need some help. 🙂
  6. Be willing to help while they clean.  This may look like picking up and putting away while they work alongside you.  Maybe it’s in the form of company and reading aloud while they work.  Maybe it’s frequent checking in and encouraging.  There are a lot of ways to help, and the younger the child is, the more involved you will likely need to be.  But regardless of the age of the child, encouragement will go a long way!

You can do this, Busy Mom!

Do you have tips to share that simplify this task at your house?