Tag Archives: priorities

Scheduling: Three Tips to Prioritizing Your Day

Years ago, I came up with three priorities to help me decide where I would invest the time I had each day. Today, I use it as a guideline of sorts—a determiner that helps me choose how I will prioritize the time God gives me each day.

With 10 people in our busy household each day, the fact is: I either have a plan or I don’t. If I don’t, chances are good that the day will run me over and leave me on the side of the road for dead.

And we can’t have that.

I am also a fan of something I call “training wheel” schedules. That means that I start out our year with a schedule with the understanding that the job of the schedule is to help me get through the day, not to dictate my day for me. [THIS WAS A HARD-LEARNED LESSON.]

Here are my three priorities each day:

Now, I know that some of you can’t fathom “scheduling” something like time in the Bible, but for me, well, let’s just say it is the gas in my little Mom Car. I need it. As mothers, we are constantly pouring out into the lives of our children and families. We need to recharge our batteries. For me, this means rising early (something that I don’t believe is a biblical mandate but I highly recommend it), getting dressed in my workout clothes and spending a few minutes of solitude with the Lord.

Were there seasons when this was impossible, or at least unlikely? You know it! After seven babies, I can assure you, there have been times when I was lucky to get OUT of bed at all, let alone get up early—but now, with our youngest at 2 and 1/2, I I have found that if I’m self-disciplined, I can do it. Most mornings, I struggle to wake up … but being up early is a gift. The house is quiet. I can think. Pray. Breathe. It makes a huge difference in my life, those precious few moments of quiet each morning.

I can’t stress this enough: good marriages require nurturing. A good marriage is like the “glue” that holds the family tightly bound together. I know this is not always popular but at the end of the day (pun intended), your marriage is the priority relationship in your home. Nurture it. Protect it. Enjoy it.

Honestly, this is an entirely separate post—I’ve written about this before—and I will again; because it’s just.that.important. Don’t sacrifice your marriage on the altar of good parenting. Your kids need your marriage to succeed as much as the two of you do.

This is the “big one,” the one that everyone really wants to talk about. I know it sounds boring and stuffy to some people, but here’s the truth: iSchedule. Scheduling has saved my bacon on more than one occasion. On days when I feel to tired to think straight, out comes the schedule—and the kids know exactly what they are supposed to be doing without me telling them over and over … and over.

On other days, we might have time and energy for some spontaneous unscheduling and I’ll ditch the schedule altogether in favor of reading longer with the children or catching my husband for an impromptu lunch date. Either way, that schedule is there to help keep us moving in the direction we want to go.

Having a system or schedule in place allows my mind to let go of things that would otherwise drive me completely out onto a limb, such as handwriting practice or memory work. If I have it on the schedule, I know it’s going to get done.

Here’s the key to successful scheduling though: there’s not one right way to do it. You’ve got to give yourself freedom to try new things. Your schedule should be as unique as your family is. One season it will work for you, and the next it may not. That, as they say, “is life.”

I make my schedules using TABLES on my computer. It takes some time to figure out the best way to do it—so give yourself time to play with it. I also use planners and I’m a journaling junkie—so much so, that a few years ago, I released a journal just for busy moms like me.

The form you see above available in a editable version, too. If you dare—download it and tweak it for your family. Customize it! Make it your own. You can do it! Remember: the schedule is supposed to help you; not rule you.

At the end of the day, busy mom, only YOU can manage your days well. Be intentional about your time. See your time as a commodity—something you need to spend wisely.

Schedule—with the harvest in mind,

Want to see more? You can find all my books, as well as CD’s MP3’s and other great things for busy moms here:

This post contains affiliate links.

When It’s All Said and Done

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People often ask our older kids what it was like to be homeschooled through high school. When I was at a convention a few weeks ago, I asked Sierra, one of our graduated daughters, if she would be willing to take questions from parents near the end of the workshop.

She agreed–but I’ll be honest: I was a little worried about what she would say when asked the tough questions from new homeschooling parents. After all, the homeschooling years were not all easy. A lot of them were (and are) hard. Our kids have traveled the country with us as we plant homeschool co-ops, speak and do the ministry God has asked us to do.

That often means 12 hour days in the van, breakdowns (of about every sort), attitude adjustments and yes, “memories.” I wondered, what would Sierra say about all this? Like every other mom, I often wonder how much therapy it will take for our children to recover from their childhood. Can you relate?

2007

As I expected, when Sierra was asked about her childhood, her answers were real. She did’t sugar-coat it. I made mistakes. Yes, there were good days–but there were also hard ones. That’s life, isn’t it? Nothing that’s worth doing in this life is easy.

I saw this post on Sierra’s page today. It made me smile – and then, it made me cry. When it’s all said and done, when homeschooling is over the books are closed for the last time, I want my kids to remember that we loved them. That we championed their childhood by giving the opportunities while we taught them the value of family and home and others.

Sierra and me in 1994

The relationships you are building with your kids matter, busy mom. Long after you close that math book, by God’s grace, you will still have a relationship with your child. Nurture their spirit along with their mind. It’s worth it.

Here is Sierra’s post.

A man asked me a few weeks back, “What was the greatest thing that you could take away from homeschooling through high school?”

Without hesitation I answered: “my relationships.” We definitely put the “school” in “homeschool.” But we also put a fair amount of “home” in it as well. They say “home is where the heart is.” For us, that means Jesus, family and friends. I look back on my life, and that’s all I see. My cup overfloweth with beautiful memories of time “well wasted” spending hour after hour with family and friends- usually at the same time. I look back and think to myself, “Man. My family really knows how to LIVE.”

Rummaging through old childhood photographs today (you know, deleting the ones I took of my shoes, random piles of books, millions of leaves- things I somehow thought I’d want for forever) I found it to be bittersweet–-but mostly sweet. Nothing but smiles, fun (and most importantly) lots of LOVE. My childhood is full of nothing but beautiful, happy memories.

Life has had it’s hardship. But it’s becoming more and more evident to me that when Jesus said, “I have overcome the world,” he really meant it! And when he said, “Take heart,” he meant that, too. “BE ENCOURAGED!” Life was meant to be lived to the fullest, enjoyed with brothers and sisters as we live our purposed lives for our Heavenly Father and Creator! The thirst, need and hunger for relationships that is in us, is there for a reason. God put it there because it’s important to HIM. He loves and cherishes us.

If what I’ve tasted of relationships and love is but a sample of what’s to come in this life… eternity is looking better and better. Thank you, Jesus, for your perfect example of sacrificial, selfless love.

I can honestly say, after undergoing all levels of life with my family (including being stuck in a van for weeks on end) I am SO blessed! I would have it no other way.

“I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus!” Philippians 3:13

When it’s all said and done, it’s worth it.

Plant with the harvest in mind,

For Better or Worse … but Never For Granted

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Good morning, busy mom!

We are now in Ludington, MI. When we rolled into Indianapolis the day before, it was midnight. And we were crabby! It wasn’t pretty — but this is the “busy season” for our family, and God seems to give us just enough grace for each other every day. Just enough. Unless we push too hard, or go too long without rest. Then, things can get ugly.

It reminded me a season of life we were in several years ago, where the Lord spoke to me about the importance of keeping my heart in tune to the heartbeat of our marriage. See if you can relate:

It had been a busy day.

Nevermind.

It had been a busy month. Meetings, schoolwork, deadlines, family needs, doctor appointments–unplanned emergencies–unwanted drama, un-invited stress.

Unintended consequences.

If the world could spin any faster, I’m sure I would have been flung right off.

My Type A, scheduling self was not enjoying this. I was repeating the phrase “bend, don’t break” as I went from the car to the kitchen to the laundry room. I spied a bag of clothing that I had forgotten to take to Goodwill. “Shoot! That’s the third time I’ve left the house for something and forgotten that bag!”

I muttered to myself as I walked into the office to sort paperwork. “Stop the ride! I want to get off!” My husband looked up at me from his desk. I saw the same weariness in his eyes that I felt. It was as if his eyes were reflecting mine.

Tired. Worn-out. Weary.

It had been several weeks since we had really enjoyed any quality time together. According to the calendar, there were no quiet evenings coming up in our future, either. Worse yet, we could not even manage a quiet evening in! The toddlers were up early, the teens were up late… and somewhere between toddlers and teenagers, our marriage was taking a hit.

It was clear that things were ot as they should be, and our relationship was beginning to show signs of the strain we were under. We were short with each other. Our conversations lacked grace. The end of the day found us falling into bed exhausted. (Insert tired expression here that says “I love you … but not tonight.”)

Trouble was, there was no “white space” in our lives. We had made our regular commitments, and life had filled in the rest of the “white space” on my calendar-without asking permission!

If you’ve heard me speak before, you know how I feel about having at least two days of nothing on my calendar each week. I call it “white space”, and I try to protect those free days because no white space on our calendar = no margin in our lives.

And no margin = trouble.

Does this sound familiar? It’s easy to let it happen. Sometimes, we can prevent it, and sometimes, we can’t. When life gets a little nutty, we take it for granted that eventually things will slow down. But the older my kids get, the more I’m realizing that if I am not intentional about taking time out of my busy life to nurture my marriage, my husband and I run the risk of living parallel lives.

You see, the fact that we have a good marriage now doesn’t protect us from ending up with a bad marriage down the road. I know — because I’ve seen it happen, over and over again.

Most marriages end because of neglect. We just take it for granted that our spouse will always be there, that we’ll have time “next week.” But more dangerous than unintentional neglect is the kind we do on purpose: we say things like “after the kids are grown” we’ll have time to invest in our marriage.

It’s one of the biggest traps we can fall into, this “for granted” trap. We take it for granted that

Our marriage will always be strong
Pornography will never be a problem
Our husbands always “understand” how tired we are (so we don’t have the conversation)
Adultery will not be part of our lives
“Next week” things will get easier or slow down

Marriage matters. It’s important. And we can’t just put this precious relationship on auto-pilot for extended periods of time and expect things to be okay.

But we do. We forget that our marriages, like tender plants, need tending.

Yes, there are seasons where we need extra amounts of patience and grace. (I’m in one right now, as we travel in our van from convention to convention with our kids.)

Yes, life is always changing–and we need to flex and change with it.

But let’s not take our marriages for granted. Let’s keep them strong and healthy – on purpose! Here are three ways we can keep your marriage strong through the seasons of quiet and busy that inevitably come:

Be intentional about carving out time for each other – make time on purpose.
Keep your finger on the pulse of your marriage (If the pulse is weak, pay attention!)
Learn to speak each other’s love language. (My husband responds best to me when I speak love in the language he understands best, and love it when he speaks to me in my love language!)

Marriage is a precious relationship – and we’re in it, for better or worse.

But never, never for granted.

Blessings on your marriage, busy mom!
heidi

Looking for Joy?

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Remember that old Johnny Lee song “Looking For Love?” It’s from a just-as-old movie called “Urban Cowboy” from what I’ve been told. 🙂

I don’t think I’ve heard that song in years but for some reason as I was loading the van to hit the road to Spartanburg this morning, it was playing in my mind. Maybe you’ll recognize the lyrics:

I thought it was funny …

I was looking for love in all the wrong places
Looking for love in too many faces (grumpy, tired faces this morning)
Searching thier eyes looking for traces (any hint, really)
What I’m dreaming of

So here’s what I was dreaming of …

cooperation
good attitudes
the breakfast genie to show up
a little less pollen
____ fill in the blank

I was looking for joy in all the wrong places 🙂 Or the illusion of joy anyway. 🙂

And then I remembered–the devil likes to lie about stuff. He lies about joy.

He’ll tell you money will make you happy. But it won’t. And it’s not the money, it’s the pursuit of it. Because joy, true JOY, is not found in power, passion or possessions. Or even in my kids obeying with a smile on their face.

(But that would have been extra-great this morning.)

It’s found in a personal relationship with God.

Satisfaction is found in the Lord and in His Word.

Joy will never be found under the sun … but above it … where God is.

Today, busy mom, let’s keep our joy in plain sight. Let’s fix our eyes on Jesus, and run the race that’s set before us with the joy that comes from following Jesus.

Remember those trees that are “firmly planted?” They’re rooted in Christ!

Lean into Him while you do laundry for the millionth time. Talk to Him about your kids. Ask Him to show you how to love your husband.

He has something to say to you.

Looking for joy? He’ll show you where to find it. And where joy is, strength is.

“The joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10b

Twenty Things I Wish I’d Known When I was Twenty

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Good morning, busy moms! Ready for another day?

Our family hits the road again this morning, driving from Kansas City, MO to just outside of Knoxville, TN. We’re heading to Spartanburg, SC for the Teach Them Diligently Convention. I can’t wait to get there! I’m sitting here blogging … avoiding getting the kids up from their snuggly beds. We’ve had a good rest here in Kansas City. Good friends. Good conversation-a real time of refreshing.

I shall try to remember that as we spend the next

Twelve.Hours.In.The.Van. {cue the violins}

Today, I’m choosing to remember some things I jotted down in my journal–’cause I’ll probably need to refer to the list at least once today. 🙂

Blessed perspective. One of the things I’ve gained in 22 years of parenting is the gift of perspective.

And it hasn’t come easy. I’ve decided I learn most things the hard way.

Skinned knees and all.

I scribbled a list of things I wish I had known when I started homeschooling all those years ago… but it applies to every mom–because every mom is a teacher.

1. Relationships are the key to successful parenting. My investment in training and teaching our kids when they’re young is key to enjoying them when they’re adults.

2. Education is discipleship. And because of that …
3. “School” should never become the “main” thing. I’ll be my kids’ mom long after the math book is finished.
4. Character training always comes before curriculum.

5. When I’m frustrated and on the verge of burnout, it’s time to take a step back and reevaluate what we’re doing. I might be missing something.
{insert vague memories of times when I’ve discovered this before burnout, rather than after.}

6. His yoke is easy… which means …

7. Homeschooling done right will NOT run me over and leave me on the side of the road for dead.
{insert memory of burdensome curriculum and times when I forget about what really matters.}

8. Marriage needs to consistently come … before mothering.

9. I’m homeschooling, not trying to do “school at home”. There really is a difference.

10. Sometimes, baking cookies is better than math. And it will often accomplish the same thing with better results. 🙂

11. Homeschooling through high school is not as scary as “they” say… and worth far more than I imagined.

12. Teenagers need their parents more than they let on.

13. It really does go by as fast as “they” say so now is a good time to think about what I want the homeschool years to accomplish.
In other words, what kind of children do I want to raise?

14. Sow good things into the lives of the kids now … reap good things later.

15. Sow wind … reap a storm.

16. It takes time for flowers to bloom. They do it in due season.

Come to think of it … twenty years is about right.

When I remember this, I also remember that my kids aren’t really listening to me most of the time. BUT… They.Are.Watching.

17. My actions will speak for me.

18. Apologize.

19. It’s okay to ask for help. Asking for help with homeschooling is good, not a sign of weakness. {repeat often}

20. Being real is better than pretending to have it all together. No one really has it all together anyway.
Except God. He’s good like that.

Okay, and one more.

Never leave Sharpie markers unattended.

If You’re Happy and You Know It

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Have you been blessed? Does it show?

Here are twenty things you can do RIGHT NOW to SHOW how much you love others

Love your husband – in the way he loves your to love him best 😉
Squeeze those kids tight, be silly with them
Laugh
Take a walk
See the best in others – and tell them what that “best” is
Praise the LORD – every good and perfect thing is from Him
Plan a date, even if it’s in your own living room
Do something “off” your routine
Go to the library
Get ice cream
Call your mom
Take a drive
Eat animal crackers with your kids
Take your daughter /son out for coffee … just the two of you
Plan a special night with your husband, think about it all day
Take time to look your child in the eye … and tell him all the reasons you love him
Same thing with your husband
Stretch
LAUGH some more
Play a game

Today will never come again. Enjoy what you’ve been given.

If you’re happy and you know it … let it show!

Seven Minutes

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Seven minutes. That’s all the time I had this morning before the kids came in. Yesterday was so full of surprises that I didn’t get to writing until about 8:30pm – so naturally, I overslept this morning. The kids of course, decided that today was a good day to get get up 45 minutes early. I’m not sure why, but the little ones in our house wake up full of WORDS and the big kids … well it’s hard to get them out of bed, let alone get many words out of them before 8:30 a.m.

Funny that the two-year old is bright eyed and bushy tailed. She has a list of things she wants me to do already. Starting with … well you know the drill. “I just needed a half an hour more!”, I thought to myself. I’m not ready to be a mom yet!

It’s amazing that before 7:00 a.m. I have already had the chance to grouchy and irritable – or full of grace and love.

It’s a good thing God gets it.

“Morning by morning, O Lord, You hear my voice; morning by morning I lay my requests before you … and wait in expectation.” Psalm 5:3

You know, the more I learn about God, the more I think that He is a morning person. 🙂 And I think it’s because God knows that we need His strength, wisdom and joy … first thing in the morning … to make it through any given day.

We just never know what a day will bring. But God does.

Lay your requests before the Lord this morning, busy mom. Even if you only have seven minutes to do it in. Make those first precious minutes count by driving your spiritual “car” through God’s gas station. Fill up with His words. Ask Him for His help.

He’ll give you what you need for today.

He’s good like that.

Heidi St. John

Speaking the Truth in Love