Tag Archives: special needs

Trusting God When Life Is Hard

Do you ever allow yourself to get carried away with worry? I sure do! It can be overwhelming trying to homeschool 3 children (one of whom is severely autistic and another who has Asperger’s), keep the house clean, get the laundry done, feed everyone, be a loving wife, take care of church obligations, and work from home. The list looks so long when I stop to think about it! Your list may look a lot like mine, or it may look completely different. When you are a wife and mother, though, it’s almost certain that your list is long!

Recently, I’ve had several days during which I was literally on the verge of panic. I felt overwhelmed, tired, stressed out, and had trouble focusing on any of the things I needed to do. When I feel that way, it’s hard not to question God. After all, God could change my circumstances if He chose to do so. He could cure my children of their autism and Asperger’s. (He could cause them to be a little more compliant while He’s at it!) He could bless us with more money so I could hire a housekeeper to help with the work. There are so many ways He could change things to make life easier for all of us!

For a long time, I couldn’t understand why He didn’t do something. But lately I’ve started to realize that I need to choose not to worry about why God doesn’t change my circumstances. I don’t think it’s wrong to pray and ask God to heal my special needs children or help me identify ways to help keep the house clean, but I do think I must stop allowing myself to become frustrated and unhappy when He doesn’t do it my way. In other words, I have to learn to truly trust God. To understand that, even though I may not be able to see past my current situation, God can. Not only that, but He will make sure that whatever happens works out for the best!

Romans 8:28: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.

At times it is literally impossible for me to know how a certain thing can possibly work out for my good or anyone else’s. When something tragic occurs, it seems as if no good could ever come out of it. To be honest, I would never voluntarily go through adversity, but I know there will be times when these situations will happen anyway.

How can God use my daughter’s autism for good? How can God work it out for everyone’s best when He allows my son to have Asperger’s? And how can my inability to keep my house clean possibly ever work out for the best? Yet no matter what, I can know that at the very least God will use these situations to allow me to know better how to comfort and support others who are experiencing similar circumstances. And He can use these situations to teach me to rely on Him and not myself.

2 Corinthians 1:4, Paul wrote that “God comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”

For now, I’m taking it one step at a time. I’m praying that God will help me obey and trust Him whether or not I understand what’s going on in my life. I’m choosing to remember that God will work things out for my good (and the good of my family members too). I’m choosing not to try to “help God out” by doing things my way. (That never really works out very well anyway, does it?) And I’m believing that God will honor my efforts to trust Him without question and that He will keep His promises.

What about you? Do you have trouble allowing God to be in control? Do you get depressed or upset when your situation is difficult? Maybe you can agree with me that God will take care of us. That He loves us. That He will do what’s best for us. If you’re in that situation and you’d like to leave your prayer request in the comments, please do that. I’ll be happy to agree with you in prayer that God will work each situation out for His glory and our good!

Surviving the Holidays with Autism – It Is Possible!

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As the mom of one child with severe autism (age 19) and another with Asperger’s (age 17), I’ve learned a few tips and tricks over the years for surviving the holidays with kiddos who have autism or other sensory issues. So many children (and adults) now days have sensory issues, and it’s not always easy to know how to handle the holidays with everything that comes along with them : visitors, bright lights, new toys, traveling, new foods, and so on. I hope this information is helpful to you! Of course you may have to tweak things here and there so that they work for your specific child and family, but my prayer is that this will help you head in the right direction.

Think about your child’s sensory needs and triggers ahead of time. If, for example, you have to go somewhere where there will be lots of people, plan ahead of time for a place your child can go for a break from the noise and chaos. A small room might be the perfect place. If that’s not possible, maybe he could even take a break outside in the car. (Just be sure a responsible adult or older teenager can go with him if he’s not where you can easily see him.)
Remember that bright lights and singing Christmas carols may make you happy, but they may be “too much” for an autistic person. You may want to simply ask her if she’d like to leave the room (or stay someplace quiet—possibly with a grandparent or friend)instead of attending an event where there will be lots of bright lights and singing. Also, keep in mind that she may not enjoy driving around town to see the Christmas lights. But be sure to give her a choice! My autistic daughter loves to hear folks sing Christmas carols, but my son finds it very hard to deal with and does not enjoy it at all!
To autistic people, being surprised may cause anxiety! For many years, my daughter refused to open Christmas presents with the rest of the family. It made me so sad that she wouldn’t join in the fun! What I didn’t realize was that being surprised wasn’t fun for her. It made her feel anxious. As she’s gotten older, she’s gotten more willing to open presents with the rest of us as long as she only has 1 or 2 presents to open. This allows her to join in the fun, yet it keeps her from being overwhelmed and feeling anxious.
Keep in mind that many autistic folks don’t like new stuff. Most of us really look forward to opening presents and getting new things. Many autistic people, though, don’t like new things at all! They like what’s familiar to them—the things they’re used to that make them feel safe and secure. It might be a good idea to do what my family has always done. We simply explain to folks (especially friends who want to give my daughter a gift) that Hannah needs time to get used to something before she can begin to enjoy it. Then, in a few days or a few weeks once she’s gotten used to something and is willing to use it, play with it, etc., we take a picture of her with the new item and send it to the gift giver.
Another possibility is to allow your autistic child to open 1 present each day for several days. If getting several new things on the same day causes stress for your child, allow him to open only 1 present each day for several days. You can start opening a few days before Christmas, or you can start on Christmas and finish up on whatever day you run out of gifts.
Make sure all gifts will be ready to use or play with as soon as they are opened. When we wrap gifts for my daughter, we make sure to remove any packaging (such as shrink-wrap that movies and CDs are often packaged in) so that it’s ready the minute she gets it open. My daughter loves stuffed animals. We always make sure all tags have been removed before we wrap any stuffed animals so she won’t have to wait for us to remove tags after she opens the gift.
Practice what to say after opening gifts from friends or relatives! If your child is verbal, it’s a good idea to practice with him ahead of time to be sure he knows what to say and how to respond appropriately after opening a gift. You might have him simply say, “Thank you for the gift!” That way, he won’t say something like, “I already have one of these,” or, “ I don’t like this.” Most autistic folks are completely honest and don’t understand that it’s not always appropriate to say exactly what you think. (Ask me how I know this…)
Do a Christmas count-down. Several days before Christmas (or before a Christmas event such as a gathering at someone’s home or at church), begin counting down the days until the event occurs. Many children will do best with some sort of visual count-down like marking off days on a calendar or making a paper chain and cutting off one link each day. Discuss each day what will happen, who will be there, etc.
Try to keep as many familiar routines, foods, and friends as possible. It’s often best to try to keep your routines as “normal” as possible for an autistic person. Even if that just means getting up and going to bed at the usual times, eating the usual foods at meals (at least the meals that you have at home), and maintaining a daily schedule that includes at least some familiar activities, this will help your autistic child feel more secure and not so anxious and out-of-control.
Prepare to get back to a normal routine once the holidays are over. It’s often very hard for autistic folks to handle a routine that’s completely different over the holidays. It’s also difficult sometimes to get back to the usual routine once the holidays are over. Some children who deal with depression and anxiety may actually have times of sadness and anxiety when the holidays are over and it’s time to get back to school or work, etc. This might be another good time to use a calendar to mark off the days or to use a paper chain and cut off one link each day as the “deadline” approaches.

The truth is that helping your autistic child make it through the holidays can be challenging. But by planning ahead and recruiting help from friends or relatives, you can do your best to help make this holiday season fun and enjoyable for the whole family.

Do you have any tips or tricks to share with other moms of children with autism or other sensory disorders? We’d love for you to share them with us!

Image courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/ “Christmas Lights Glowing (blur motion background)” by artur84.

Loving and Living with Your Special Needs Child

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Isn’t it amazing how many lessons we learn from our children? When I began homeschooling, I thought my children were supposed to learn from me. I had no idea that the situation would quite often work in reverse! Over the last few weeks, I’ve learned a really hard lesson. I hope this blesses those of you who struggle with similar situations—especially those who have special needs children.

This story began months ago. I found myself becoming resentful about taking care of my 19-year-old daughter who is severely autistic. You see, for 19 years, I’ve been bathing her, brushing her teeth, dressing her, preparing meals and supervising her eating, dealing with her anxiety and meltdowns and resistance to going places and to being around people, taking care of all of her personal needs, dealing with extreme sensory issues and aversions to most kinds of foods, and homeschooling her at the same time. (We tried a public school program for autistic children as well as having her mainstreamed in a regular-ed classroom, but that disaster story will have to wait until another day.) My daughter is completely non-verbal and has very poor motor skills, so she needs the kind of care that most children only require for the first few years. To be honest, I just got tired.

It seemed as if one day I woke up and thought, “I simply cannot do this one more day.” I was mentally and physically worn out. I had trouble thinking about how I could keep doing this year after year after year—especially since this isn’t something she will grow out of—it’s a life-long situation. I became overwhelmed and stressed and anxious about it. I tried to pray and ask God to give me a better attitude. I tried to reason with myself. I tried to force myself not to feel resentful or angry. But it didn’t work.

Then, a few weeks ago, my daughter suddenly got very sick. The doctor admitted her to the hospital to try to find out what was wrong. (She wasn’t able to tell us what was wrong since she’s non-verbal.) She ended up being in the hospital for a very difficult week. It turned out that she had pneumonia in both lungs and was in a good bit of pain. She had become dehydrated too.

As I was there in the hospital with my daughter, who was completely helpless and dependent on her daddy and me to speak for her, make sound medical decisions, take care of her, and reassure her that things would be better soon, I realized something. I realized that my daughter, even though she can’t express it with words, was always calmer when her daddy and I were close by than when the doctors and nurses were close by. I realize that, if her daddy and I were giving her medication, she took it (mostly) without incident. I realized that, if her drip needed to be changed or flushed out, she would allow me to do it, but she would have had a meltdown if a nurse did it. I realized that she trusted her daddy and me. She knew that we loved her and were there to take good care of her. She wasn’t worried that we were trying to hurt her. It was then that God brought this verse to mind:

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.

That’s when my heart began to soften again toward my daughter. That’s when God reminded me that He loves and cares for me no matter whether I’m grateful or obedient or faithful to Him. He allowed me to see my daughter as He sees me—helpless, not knowing the best way to take care of myself, not understanding at times what is going on around me or why or what to do about it. But just like my daughter was completely dependent on her daddy and me, if I will allow Him, God will comfort me, show me the right path, take care of me…just like my daughter trusts me to do for her. It was at that point that I began to realize what a privilege it is to have a daughter who loves me and trusts me that much!

My daughter is much better now and is completely well. In other words, for her, life is getting “back to normal.” I hope, however, that life never gets “back to normal” for me. I hope instead to remember this hard lesson and to continue to understand that, even on the hard days, God is taking care of us. I know I’ll still have times when my attitude isn’t what it should be toward my daughter (or my other children, for that matter). But I also know that God used this situation to change my heart and give me a new love for my daughter. And I hope I never forget this lesson, and that’s why I’m sharing it with you.

No, God doesn’t always make the way easy for us, but He always loves us and cares for us. And I’m thankful to Him for reminding me that I’m loved and cared for even when I’m going through difficult times. Would I heal my daughter today if it were possible? Yes! But in the mean time, I love my daughter just the way she is.

It is my prayer that, if you are the parent of a special needs child, you will allow God to be your comfort and your strength. You won’t ever be perfect—I’m certainly not. But I believe that God honors our efforts and sees our hearts. And for that I am grateful.

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Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net. “Shoes” by ningmilo.

Caring for Yourself While Caring for Your Special Needs Child

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Being a mom is one of the best things that has ever happened to me! And it’s also one of the hardest. I love my children just like you love yours, but it’s still so hard sometimes. I used to feel guilty when I admitted—even to myself—that being a mom isn’t always easy. I thought it meant I didn’t love my kids—or at least that I didn’t like them, but after being a mom for 2 decades, I realize that isn’t true and that there’s no need to feel guilty.

And while it’s true that bringing up children is difficult at times, it can be even more difficult when you have special needs children. At times it’s much harder. At times we moms of special needs kids feel so hopeless and helpless.

At times we ask for help from those around us and get rejected or ignored. Sometimes we even get a pat on the back and an “I-think-you’re-doing-such-a-great-job” from those to whom we’re crying out for help. I know I’ve been there.

For years everyone thought I was doing such a wonderful job coping with my severely autistic daughter, my son with Asperger’s, and my younger daughter with ADHD. I tried asking for help. I tried letting folks know that things were getting to be too much for me. But nobody took me seriously. Nobody realized that things really had gotten to be too much for me to handle alone. Until one day I crashed. I completely fell apart.

Looking back, I can see that I wasn’t making myself clear. My family and friends simply thought I needed reassurance and encouragement. They didn’t realize I was warning them that I literally. could. not. keep. going. any. longer. I tried to explain to them in words what I needed, but I couldn’t. I really couldn’t quite admit it to myself, and I certainly couldn’t figure out how to put it into words for someone else to hear. So I gave up. I quit trying to explain it to them. I hung in there as long as I could…until I couldn’t any more.

At that point, several close family members said things like, “I thought you were handling everything so well. I didn’t know you were asking me for help. I had no idea you felt so overwhelmed and buried and burned out. I feel so terrible! Why didn’t you tell me?” The answer was that I had tried to tell them. Over and over I had tried. And they had listened, but they hadn’t understood.

Whether you have “typical” children or special needs children, whether you have one child or 10 children, whether you’re handling things really well or whether you’re struggling, you need support and encouragement and help from others.

If you have friends or relatives nearby who are willing to help, let them! Don’t feel like you’re the only one who can take care of your special needs child. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to take care of your child. Sooner or later it will catch up with you. I found that out the hard way.
If you don’t have friends or family close by, go to your church family. Many churches—especially larger ones—have ministries for families with special needs children. Even if your church doesn’t have such a ministry, you need to make your needs known and ask for help.
Find out if there’s a caregiver support group near you. If so, other parents of special needs children can provide true understanding and emotional support. Or perhaps you’re friends with another mom or two have children with special needs. Talk to those moms. Share your struggles and ideas and encourage one another. It can help so much just to know that you’re not alone. I know that sounds cliché, but it really is true!
Keep a list of specific needs that you and/or your special needs child have. Be prepared so that when someone says, “Let me know what I can do to help” you’re ready to answer! Jot down ideas for things others can do to help as you think of them. These could be one-time things or something you need on a regular basis. When we’re on the spot or in a hurry, we don’t always think clearly. Keeping this list will help you let folks know how to help you when they offer.
If it is at all possible (and sometimes I know it’s not), give yourself a break and get away—even if it’s just for a few hours or overnight. I know from experience that it’s very hard to leave my special needs kiddos, but I also know that, at least for me, it is absolutely necessary. I’m very blessed to be able to get away once in a while—even if it’s just for a few hours of browsing in the book store or going to see a movie with a friend. If you can possibly get time away, take it! It will be great for you and your child.

We would love to hear your ideas for helping moms with special needs kids or your ideas for how you, as the mom of special needs children, would like to be helped. Please share!

A Little Homeschool Truth From a Veteran Homeschool Mom

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I sat at the kitchen table, pencil tapping my teacher’s guide impatiently. Knowing that the reading lesson I was attempting to teach was only a fraction of the way finished and that we still had Math, History and Science to complete, this mama was getting antsy.

My son, full of life and joy was elaborately illustrating his every written response. Yes, his letters were going ‘fishing’. As the mom of 7 kids with dyslexia, the fact that he knew his letters and was able to write them was the hope that kept me going; waiting quietly as he shared the silly story of ‘J’s fishing success.

And so here we are. School has started and reality has set in. Homeschooling sure looks different mid-summer while absolutely no school is being done and we’re casually reading colorful catalogues detailing curriculum that will practically teach your kids themselves. Ah, yes, peaceful, sunny July afternoons spent at the beach with memories of crumby floors and crabby attitudes far behind.

Sitting here across from my joyful – yet painfully slow – second grader caused me to dig deep into my reserves of homeschool truth to bring myself to remain calm and committed.

Here is some homeschool truth for you, Mama.

Slow and steady does in fact win the race. A little learning every day adds up to a lot of learning over time. Your faithfulness to do what you can will be rewarded. Do what you can, do it well and don’t fret about what didn’t get done.

I know that for me as the productive type, I like to get stuff done. I like to check off the boxes so I can coast for a bit.

Get child reading – check.

Instill a Biblical worldview – check.

As if these things don’t take years of daily instruction, testing and trying to really do well.

I am teaching myself to let go of the notion of finishing. Not only is the notion that I can finish parenting, schooling, or cleaning and then coast for some extended period of time absurd as a mom of 8, it is flawed for several reasons.

My work as a wife and mother will never be finished (and likely, at least for some time, my home will never be entirely clean). Jesus calls me to be about the business of blessing others with my talents. If not my family, as it is now with my full house, then for others in need. God has blessed me with gifts so that I can give them away to others. That is not something that ends when the kids turn 18 and are finally independent or when I turn 65 and can officially retire.

Just as God has stripped me from worshiping many of my previous homeschool idols; having well-behaved kids (at the expense of having clean hearts) or of owning the best curriculum or of volunteering for every important looking job or of having kids get into the ‘best’ colleges; God is stripping me from the idol of finishing it all so I can rest.

Lord, when will I ever just stop thinking so much of me?!

Please, don’t get me wrong, there is much gain in finding balance in your days.

However, I am learning to enjoy (and at times patiently endure) my days however they unfold. When the phonics lesson is over and my young guy heads outside to fashion himself a fishing rod, math lessons can wait. My list of homeschool tasks can wait because life and school is so much more.

Slow down and enjoy the moments. Believe me, silly fishing stories during phonics instruction, though somewhat painful for busy homeschool moms, will be preferable to the seriousness of the day that you are helping that same boy as a high schooler to analyze expressions of love found in Shakespeare.

Take it from me, if your day is waxing long and the to-do list is largely untouched, it will be okay. Do what you can, do it well, and trust the Lord to take care of the rest.

When Your Homeschool Doesn’t Meet Your Expectations

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I came from a long line of highly educated people. Even my grandmother, born at the turn of the century, had an advanced degree. So naturally, when I started homeschooling, I expected that my children would also be highly academic.

Then I discovered the world of dyslexia.

Dyslexia causes otherwise intelligent people to struggle mightily with reading, writing and spelling. So while my kids had all of the intelligence to succeed academically, their execution of school-type work hindered them. In fact, because these things were so hard for them, and despite their great creativity, imagination and love of learning itself, they disliked traditional academic pursuits. Yikes! This mama was worried.

Looking back now after 20 years of homeschooling dyslexic kids, I realize that I could have saved myself a lot of sorrow if I had realized one basic fact much sooner.

God’s Purposes Over My Purposes

God created my kids with great purpose from before time began.

God…called us with a holy calling, not according to our works,
but according to His own purpose and grace
which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began.
2 Timothy 1:8-9

While I may not know God’s exact purposes for my kids, I can know that they are good and perfect, awesome and doable.

Somehow, intellectually I understood this but practically speaking, I wanted things my way. As I learned to lean on God and ask Him for direction for my kids’ lives I found peace.

Many Types of Intelligence

All of my years trying to figure out dyslexia taught me that there are many types of intelligence. Not only that but that they were perfectly created that way by God so that they could beautifully and naturally fulfill their God-given purpose!

So relax mamas, breathe! Lay your burdened thoughts for your children and their futures down before the Lord. Let go of your expectations and ask God for wisdom. As God slowly weaves your story and the stories of your children together, it will be tempting to pick up that burden once again, but I assure you – God is faithful. His promises are true.

While your child may not be meeting your expectations, he or she is being prepared day-by-day, experience-by-experience for God’s purposes to be fulfilled in their lives.

Discovering God-given Talents

Once we have laid down our agenda for our kids, we are free to observe our kids natural interests and strengths. Where do they excel in ability? What really interests them? Where these two intersect, interest and ability, may well be where their purpose lies.

Questions to Ask

Are you teaching them about the wonderful works of God? Are you pointing them to Jesus in their trials? Have they experienced the faithfulness of God?

Honestly, what would be the worst thing that could happen if your child never mastered Algebra? Read all of the classics? Or never went to college? Could God still use their lives? Of course!

Now go and lay those burdens down and pray for God’s good and perfect purpose to be made known in your lives and the lives of your kids.

Tips for Parenting Food Allergic Kids {Holiday Meal Ideas}

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If your kids have food allergies like mine do, you know the frustration of large get togethers that center around food. It’s just hard. Nothing replaces the feeling of being left out, especially when that is part of every holiday memory you have. Thankfully kids get focused on playing, but there is inevitably time at the table, and that’s hard! Other than skipping the mealtime altogether (which my kids don’t want to do when given the choice), we resolve do the best we can. Honestly, it’s a lot of work for me, but it is always worth it when I see my kids’ plates licked clean of their favorite foods.

I thought I’d share how I do our traditional Thanksgiving meal free of the eight major allergens and corn. Keep in mind, it’s not made to be full of gourmet recipes, but alternatives to the main family meal (because we get together with many other people who cook) that are still delicious but simple to do… a way to include everyone without making an entirely different meal.

EveRy food allergy family has different needs, so find what works here and leave the rest. Use your safe something and make something else work. You know food allergy mamas are the queens of modifying! I’ve been unspecific on purpose, because we all have our own spreads, margarines, oils, amounts etc that work for our specific needs. I’m just sharing how we think out of the box. And I have no photos because I can’t wait until next Thursday to take them all so I can share them with you!

Turkey
I get fresh turkey legs or thighs from the butcher at my higher end grocery store, put them in the crock pot with at least 1 cup of broth or water (more if I want to make gravy), and set them to cook on high for a few hours(less than 4 hours for 4 legs) … I just watch to see when it’s done.*
*I buy meat with no ingredient list, which means nothing has been injected into it. The injected solutions are not corn or other allergy friendly.

Gravy
I keep things pretty simple in the kitchen, as you’ll notice as this post goes on. I have no idea how everyone else makes gravy or what they do to complicate it, but I’m the hired gravy-maker now for our family gatherings, and people keep going back for more. I take the broth leftover from the crock pot (fat included), bring it to a boil (high heat) in a skillet. Turn down to medium-low, and add brown rice flour, whisking consistently (though not necessarily non-stop) as it boils. Keep whisking and simmer for 2-3 minutes while it thickens, repeating this step until it’s as thick as you like it. Salt to taste.

Sweet Potatoes
Sweet potatoes are a tough thing since so many sweet potato casserole recipes our kiddos will see are covered with marshmallows and loaded with sugar, milk and eggs. What I do now is bake sweet potatoes in their peel (poke with a fork, bake at 425 until they’re soft), peel them, place in small casserole dish, mash lightly with a fork, stir in some liquid (safe milk alternative or chicken broth), add margarine (or your safe spread), then top with brown sugar and cinnamon. It’s okay if they’re loaded with sugar… everyone else’s recipes are too!

Dressing… or is it stuffing?
Either way, I got nothin’ for ya’ because we don’t like it, so I’ve never tried to replace it! (Post a comment if you have a recipe to share.)

Mashed Potatoes
We make our mashed potatoes with chicken broth instead of milk, and safe margarine or oil instead of butter. The chicken broth adds so much flavor, we prefer them over those made with milk and butter now!
Or go really easy (no one will tell your mother) and use these instant flakes! Potatoes only!

Something Green
Ummm, do they really have to eat something green? I suppose to be helpful I’ll add that steamed veggies with a holiday-amount of your favorite spread are permissable. My kids love salad, so when I require them to eat something green at a holiday meal (really, never) I give them that, and it’s really easy to make match for every guest who will attend.

Rolls
Sometimes I make safe rolls, depending on how well I’m doing on getting everything else done… usually that’s not very well, so most years the kids have had toast (on their safe bread), warmed and slathered with their margarine (or whatever you prefer) and honey. If I get my act together a few days early, I make the safe dough or rolls and freeze them to easily bake or thaw Thanksgiving morning. (For gluten free “rolls,” I make the same dough I use for bread and bake it in muffin tins.) Cranberry muffins made safely are perfect too.*
*In quick breads or muffins, I use familiar wheat recipes and sub brown rice flour cup for cup with excellent results. And I use 1T flax meal stirred into 3T warm water for each egg I need to substitute. These make for easy allergy free baking and avail a lot of options!

Dessert
I’ll admit, I’ve tried and failed at a number of allergy friendly pie recipes. The dairy-corn-wheat-egg free pumpkin pie was gross and the dairy-corn-wheat-egg free pecan pie (we’re obviously not nut free around here!) was very runny, though still delicious. I’ve settled on a good old modified apple crisp. Smells like fall as it bakes, and can be loaded with doubled topping for extra holiday fun! Oatmeal raisin cookies are my most successful allergy free cookie recipe, and can be pre-made, frozen and then warmed just in time for dessert too!

Allergy Free Apple Crisp

6 medium tart apples, sliced and peeled
2 1/4 cups turbinado, raw or brown sugar
1 1/2 cups brown rice flour
1 1/2 cups oats (gluten free if you need that)
1/3 cup oil (just enough to coat the topping when stirred)
2 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
2 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

Arrange sliced apples in pan. Mix all other ingredients and sprinkle over apple layer.
Bake at 375 for about 30 minutes, or until topping is lightly browned.

Drinks
This might seem like a silly one, but to a corn allergy child, prepared drink options are severely limited. I make sweet tea beforehand to make sure he has something he loves.

A few other tips:
Feed them a snack before you arrive or before the meal. If they’re not starving, their eyes and stomach will be much more satisfied with what they can have instead of what they can’t have.
Fix their plate for them (before you call them to the table) so they don’t have to walk through the line and see what everyone else might be having.
If dessert isn’t an organized event, don’t feel the need to call them when everyone else comes. Leave them playing and feed them their dessert whenever they come looking.
As silly as it sounds, fun holiday paper plates & cups or beautiful china makes a different meal really exciting too… it takes the focus off the food!
Create “matching” food only for the things they like. One year I went to great effort to make a safe green bean casserole… only to be reminded how much my son hates green beans. Now I just “match” the foods I know my kids love. They have a plate full of their favorite foods, and are very happy to not have to eat broccoli! (I avoid any and all food battles on holidays as a gift to my food-allergy-mama self. I encourage you to do the same!)

Most importantly, don’t encourage (or allow) a “poor me” attitude about their allergies. They are tough, for real, but some people can’t run, or hear, or even swallow. Help your children keep in perspective that there is much they can enjoy as a kiddo with food allergies, and all their favorite foods on Thanksgiving are a great beginning!

Now it’s your turn. Share your suggestions or post links to your allergy free recipes here!

Heidi St. John

Speaking the Truth in Love