Category Archives: Parenting

Tips for Parenting Food Allergic Kids {Holiday Meal Ideas}

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If your kids have food allergies like mine do, you know the frustration of large get togethers that center around food. It’s just hard. Nothing replaces the feeling of being left out, especially when that is part of every holiday memory you have.  Thankfully kids get focused on playing, but there is inevitably time at the table, and that’s hard! Other than skipping the mealtime altogether (which my kids don’t want to do when given the choice), we resolve do the best we can. Honestly, it’s a lot of work for me, but it is always worth it when I see my kids’ plates licked clean of their favorite foods.

I thought I’d share how I do our traditional Thanksgiving meal free of the eight major allergens and corn. Keep in mind, it’s not made to be full of gourmet recipes, but alternatives to the main family meal (because we get together with many other people who cook) that are still delicious but simple to do… a way to include everyone without making an entirely different meal.

EveRy food allergy family has different needs, so find what works here and leave the rest. Use your safe something and make something else work. You know food allergy mamas are the queens of modifying! I’ve been unspecific on purpose, because we all have our own spreads, margarines, oils, amounts etc that work for our specific needs. I’m just sharing how we think out of the box. And I have no photos because I can’t wait until next Thursday to take them all so I can share them with you!

Turkey
I get fresh turkey legs or thighs from the butcher at my higher end grocery store, put them in the crock pot with at least 1 cup of broth or water (more if I want to make gravy), and set them to cook on high for a few hours(less than 4 hours for 4 legs) … I just watch to see when it’s done.*
*I buy meat with no ingredient list, which means nothing has been injected into it. The injected solutions are not corn or other allergy friendly.

Gravy
I keep things pretty simple in the kitchen, as you’ll notice as this post goes on. I have no idea how everyone else makes gravy or what they do to complicate it, but I’m the hired gravy-maker now for our family gatherings, and people keep going back for more.  I take the broth leftover from the crock pot (fat included), bring it to a boil (high heat) in a skillet. Turn down to medium-low, and add brown rice flour, whisking consistently (though not necessarily non-stop) as it boils. Keep whisking and simmer for 2-3 minutes while it thickens, repeating this step until it’s as thick as you like it. Salt to taste.

Sweet Potatoes
Sweet potatoes are a tough thing since so many sweet potato casserole recipes our kiddos will see are covered with marshmallows and loaded with sugar, milk and eggs. What I do now is bake sweet potatoes in their peel (poke with a fork, bake at 425 until they’re soft), peel them, place in small casserole dish, mash lightly with a fork, stir in some liquid (safe milk alternative or chicken broth), add margarine (or your safe spread), then top with brown sugar and cinnamon. It’s okay if they’re loaded with sugar… everyone else’s recipes are too!

Dressing… or is it stuffing?
Either way, I got nothin’ for ya’ because we don’t like it, so I’ve never tried to replace it! (Post a comment if you have a recipe to share.)

Mashed Potatoes
We make our mashed potatoes with chicken broth instead of milk, and safe margarine or oil instead of butter. The chicken broth adds so much flavor, we prefer them over those made with milk and butter now!
Or go really easy (no one will tell your mother) and use these instant flakes! Potatoes only!

Something Green
Ummm, do they really have to eat something green?  I suppose to be helpful I’ll add that steamed veggies with a holiday-amount of your favorite spread are permissable. My kids love salad, so when I require them to eat something green at a holiday meal (really, never) I give them that, and it’s really easy to make match for every guest who will attend.

Rolls
Sometimes I make safe rolls, depending on how well I’m doing on getting everything else done… usually that’s not very well, so most years the kids have had toast (on their safe bread), warmed and slathered with their margarine (or whatever you prefer) and honey. If I get my act together a few days early, I make the safe dough or rolls and freeze them to easily bake or thaw Thanksgiving morning. (For gluten free “rolls,” I make the same dough I use for bread and bake it in muffin tins.) Cranberry muffins made safely are perfect too.*
*In quick breads or muffins, I use familiar wheat recipes and sub brown rice flour cup for cup with excellent results. And I use 1T flax meal stirred into 3T warm water for each egg I need to substitute. These make for easy allergy free baking and avail a lot of options!

Dessert
I’ll admit, I’ve tried and failed at a number of allergy friendly pie recipes. The dairy-corn-wheat-egg free pumpkin pie was gross and the dairy-corn-wheat-egg free pecan pie (we’re obviously not nut free around here!) was very runny, though still delicious. I’ve settled on a good old modified apple crisp.  Smells like fall as it bakes, and can be loaded with doubled topping for extra holiday fun! Oatmeal raisin cookies are my most successful allergy free cookie recipe, and can be pre-made, frozen and then warmed just in time for dessert too!

Allergy Free Apple Crisp

6 medium tart apples, sliced and peeled
2 1/4 cups turbinado, raw or brown sugar
1 1/2 cups brown rice flour
1 1/2 cups oats (gluten free if you need that)
1/3 cup oil (just enough to coat the topping when stirred)
2 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
2 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

Arrange sliced apples in pan. Mix all other ingredients and sprinkle over apple layer.
Bake at 375 for about 30 minutes, or until topping is lightly browned.

Drinks
This might seem like a silly one, but to a corn allergy child, prepared drink options are severely limited. I make sweet tea beforehand to make sure he has something he loves.

A few other tips:
Feed them a snack before you arrive or before the meal.  If they’re not starving, their eyes and stomach will be much more satisfied with what they can have instead of what they can’t have.
Fix their plate for them (before you call them to the table) so they don’t have to walk through the line and see what everyone else might be having.
If dessert isn’t an organized event, don’t feel the need to call them when everyone else comes. Leave them playing and feed them their dessert whenever they come looking.
As silly as it sounds, fun holiday paper plates & cups or beautiful china makes a different meal really exciting too… it takes the focus off the food!
Create “matching” food only for the things they like. One year I went to great effort to make a safe green bean casserole… only to be reminded how much my son hates green beans. Now I just “match” the foods I know my kids love. They have a plate full of their favorite foods, and are very happy to not have to eat broccoli! (I avoid any and all food battles on holidays as a gift to my food-allergy-mama self. I encourage you to do the same!)

Most importantly, don’t encourage (or allow) a “poor me” attitude about their allergies. They are tough, for real, but some people can’t run, or hear, or even swallow. Help your children keep in perspective that there is much they can enjoy as a kiddo with food allergies, and all their favorite foods on Thanksgiving are a great beginning!

Now it’s your turn. Share your suggestions or post links to your allergy free recipes here!

possibilities of fall

Possibilities of Fall

“Autumn…the year’s last, loveliest smile.” ~ William Cullen Bryant

possibilities of fall

I was born in upstate New York.  I have always loved the colors of fall.  God was not stingy with His color palette.

I remember how the cool breezes danced red maple leaves across our lawn.  The smell of homemade applesauce lingered throughout the house as we all started to bundle up by the year’s first fire.   These are some of my fondest memories.

Now as a mom I live in Florida.  Hot, humid, green Florida.  If I want my boys to enjoy striking fall colors and  crisp weather we have to leave the state.

A few years ago my husband and I started a new tradition for our family.  We make sure not to miss the peak fall season.  Each year we plan a fall family getaway.  Last year we had the amazing opportunity to spend time in Yellowstone and Yosemite National Parks.  This year we just returned from camping in the mountains of western North Carolina.

As I get a bit older I’m learning that there is so much more to fall than a kaleidoscope of colors.  Fall offers us a time to look back – individually and as a family – over our  year and plan to finish well.

Fall offers change.  A change of scenery, temperature, food, and clothing.  It’s time to discuss with my boys if they are seeing change in their own lives.  Are they maturing?  Are they growing spiritually?  Do I notice a difference in my spiritual walk?  Is God’s Word taking root in my heart and changing me?

Fall offers beauty.  A time of colorful ripe harvest.  Are we producing a healthy crop of spiritual fruit?  Does our light shine like Sugar Maples at sunset?  Am I showering grace down upon my children with each breathe?

Fall offers peace.  An opportunity to rest and just be still.  Can we name the things that distract us?  Are we spending enough time in God’s Word? In prayer?  Are we peaceful or anxious?  Do we praise God for the work He is doing in ourselves and speak it to each other?

We have become busy people.  Many things tug at our time, attention, and our hearts.  We rush far too often.

The possibilities of fall are meaningful when we allow it to linger.

Set aside purposeful time with your family to enjoy God’s creation.  Before fall fades, mark your calendar for a time of personal evaluation.  Sing out thanks as your family prepares for advent.  You can finish this year as strong as you started!

Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. Galatians 6:9 (nasb)

 

Check out this Nature Study from Five in a Row as a way to enjoy fall with your family!

Heidi St John Guide to Daylight

More Than Lip Service: Authenticity Starts at Home

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Proverbs 25:11 says, “Right words spoken in the right time are like apples of gold in a silver setting.”

Have you ever struggled with controlling your tongue?  I have.  There are times when I think to myself, “I can’t believe I just said that out loud.”  In fact, I’ve been on a personal journey of asking the Lord to really help me in this area for the past several years.  Why?  I hate to admit it, but I cringe when I think of all the thoughtless, and even unkind things I’ve said to my husband and my children over the years. I’ve corrected my husband, interrupted him, spoken over him… (yup, I’m can be just that amazing as a wife and mom.)

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But, praise God! His mercies are new to me every single morning! (And, come to think of it, my husband’s mercies have been new to me every morning as well.) God has given me an opportunity learn from my mistakes and a husband who patiently walks beside me and trusts that I love him, even when I don’t communicate with him as I should.

You see, the Bible tells us that out of the heart, the mouth speaks.  Let me say that again.  Nevermind.  I’ll just share the verse here, as it’s so powerful, we should have it memorized:

Luke 6:45

45 A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.

It’s easy to talk a good talk when we want to, but the Bible is clear: we will be known by the words that we speak.  This was so powerful to me because I want to be known for speaking good things—even when I’m frustrated and even when I see the kids didn’t do what I asked them to.  The mouth speaks what the heart is full of.

I don’t know about you, but I’m so weary of finding out that the person I looked up to really is a not who he or she says she is.  It’s easy to be kind and sweet to other moms while our own marriages suffer neglect or worse—fall apart at the seams. It’s easy to be kind to other people’s kids while we show the uglier side of ourselves to our own children.

Let’s commit to being being the real thing, busy moms. Let’s communicate good things to those who are closest to us first.  If we’re not authentic at home, then all we’re really giving God with our lives is lip service. I don’t know about you, but I want to give Him more than lip service.  I want to live and communicate in a way that shows my heart is full of Him, not me.

If you’re struggling in this area, remember, the bottom line of communication is not just using the right style; to get style down and miss the heart of communication is literally giving your marriage and family nothing more than lip service. Our husbands and kids deserve more than this!

Do you realize that your words provide an opportunity for you and for those around you to grow in their walk with God?

Authenticity starts at home.  When we realize that our willingness to minister unconditionally to our family is part of successful family life, then we have found the best place to start.

Let’s give our families the best part of us—and then reach out to a world who is desperately in need of the real thing. It’s more than lip service. Always start at home.  Out of the overflow of the heart—the mouth speaks … at home.

Start there,

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Heidi St John Guide to Romance

Heidi St John Firmly Planted Family Devotional For All Ages

A Wise Mom Multiplies Her Efforts

 

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Did you know that mothers expand their work by multiplication and not just addition?

Proverbs has a lot to say about the training of children. In Proverbs 22:6 we read,

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

This is not a formula or a guarantee for flawless children, rather it is a principal that children keep good habits they learn when they are young.  Every mother’s goal should be to train her children to replace her—and that starts when the children are young.  Start with training your children to help you at home.

A mother’s effectiveness depends on multiplying her efforts around the house.

Recently, I’ve had conversations with new moms who are struggling to get their kids to work around the house. Simple things like chores become battles for control, and Mom’s frustration shows at the end of the day when she decides to do the chore herself.  Hey, I get it! Sometimes it’s easier to clean the kitchen by myself than to train a child to do it while they grumble and complain, or even worse – grumble and complain while doing the chore wrong and then having to be told to do it again. That’s happened just a few times around my house. 😉

It does take a lot of effort on your part, but there is value in training your children to work. There is value in teaching your children how to do the things around the house.  They help now and can do things on their own when they leave your house.

One time, I heard someone say that a mom who has her children working around the house is a lazy mom.  I would like to suggest that nothing could be further from the truth! That person had clearly never trained a child to work around the house because it is so much easier to do it yourself, right?  Most of you who have tried to teach children to work know exactly what I’m talking about!

Don’t be afraid be afraid to teach  your children to work.

Today, sit down with your children and let them know exactly what is expected of them. Children who know what is expected of them have an easier time accomplishing things that are needed to be accomplished, and they feel secure in those expectations. It’s hard to work for someone when you don’t know what is expected of you!

A wise mom multiplies her efforts through training and teaching her children.  Communicate with your children and train them up, Busy Mom. That’s your job.

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Heidi St John Firmly Planted Family Devotional For All Ages

Mending Relationships

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Do you have a relationship that needs mending?

Sometimes we have fights in our house. I hate to break it to you guys, but my home is not always calm and peaceful (shocking, I know!). There have been many times when we have needed to mend relationships in our home.

I want to take us to James 4 today. The first part of James 4 says, “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but you don’t get it? You kill and covet but cannot have what you want, you quarrel and fight, you do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive because you ask with the wrong motives that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”

It’s interesting to me that the more I get to know the Lord, over and over again God says the same things throughout Scripture. He says, trust me, talk to me, put down your flesh, and dwell and live in the spirit.

If we continue to read in chapter 4:6, we read, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” God opposes the proud, and gives grace to the humble.

If you are in the process of needing to mend a relationship in your life today, be willing to seek forgiveness for your own actions. As parents, we need to be humble and not lording our position over our children. Humility opens a child’s heart. When I can go to my child and say, “You know what, I’m sorry, I could have done that better,” it’s amazing the response I will get, as opposed to saying, “You need to apologize to me.”

Several years ago, I had an instance with one of my daughters- a hardness of heart- and I was having a hard time getting through.  I asked the Lord to give me a specific grace for this particular child, and I felt like the Lord was telling me, “Tell her that you need her grace for you. Ask her to pray for you.”   I went into her room and I was tucking her in bed for the evening and we said our prayers together,  I said to her, “You know what sweetheart? Mom is struggling with these things…” I could almost see her heart begin to soften as I told her some things in my own life (like pride and fear) that I was struggling with. It was almost as if my willingness to expose a tender part of my heart made her hear tender towards me.

So if you have the opportunity to, seek forgiveness from your children if you need to. Children want to forgive their parents. Wait for the Lord to speak to your child and then wait for your child to respond to you verbally.

Try it out. See if it does work. God says that forgiveness clears the conscious. Take the time to mend your relationship with your children.

Keepin’ it real, Moms!

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Heidi St John Firmly Planted Family Devotional For All Ages

A Torn Jacket and the Heart of a Child

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Words are powerful.

There’s a Proverb that says, “A torn jacket is soon mended, but hard words bruise the heart of a child.”  A poem first published in “The Bible Friend” speaks about the great influence that a mother has in the lives of her children:

A Piece of Plastic Clay

I took a piece of plastic clay
And idly fashioned it one day,
And as my fingers pressed it still,
It moved and yielded at my will.

I came again when days were past;
The bit of clay was hard at last,
The form I gave it still it bore,
But I could change that form no more.

I took a piece of living clay,
And gently formed it day by day,
And molded with my power and art
A young child’s soft and yielding heart.

I came again when days were gone;
It was a man I looked upon;
That early impress still he wore,
And I could change it never more.

(Author Unknown)

This reminds me of the many opportunities we have as mothers to influence our children and the importance of the words we say to them.  Listen to what the apostle Paul had to say about the power of words:

2 Corinthians 13:10
 This is why I write these things when I am absent, that when I come I may not have to be harsh in my use of authority—the authority the Lord gave me for building you up, not for tearing you down.

Our words will do one of two things: they will build up, or they will tear down. As mothers, we must remember that every word we say to our children makes an impression on them. As you talk to your children today, ask the Lord to give you His heart and His words.  His words are so much better than ours, aren’t they?

I don’t know about you, but it seems like I get a lot of opportunities to apologize to my kids.  Every day, in fact! Sometimes, I get the chance several times each day.  One time comes to mind immediately.  It was a time when I was unkind to my daughter in front of her guests.  A few minutes after I lost my cool with her, I went back to my bedroom and sensed the Lord saying, “You better go down and fix that!”

I went downstairs, opened her bedroom door and in front of all her friends I said, “You know sweetheart, I am so sorry that I said that to you. That was wrong.  Will you please forgive me?”  Kids are so forgiving.  She forgave me, also in front of her friends.  It turned out that my bad behavior turned into a good lesson for everyone about the power of asking for forgiveness and making things right.

Our children need to hear us say we’re sorry when we blow it.  So if you’ve got some mending to do today, go ahead and start mending!  Build your child up.  Let them see you say you’re sorry.  You don’t get this time of parenting back again. Make it count.

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Heidi St John Firmly Planted Family Devotional For All Ages

The Unwired Mom

When Five Minutes Becomes Two Hours

You all have seen me lately talking about being in real life more and online less. My children are growing and moving on right before my very eyes, and I don’t want to miss these years, these days, these moments… because I know I can’t get them back. Well, I’m not the only one. And one mom even wrote a book about it.  I asked her to come share her heart and book with us here so we can all encourage each other in swimming against the current.  

The Unwired Mom

“I often wonder what my kids’ memories of me will be.

Will they remember me playing with them, cuddling, reading, cleaning, going places and spending time with their daddy, or will they remember a mom who was on the computer? What will the bulk of their remembrances be?

I want to pay attention, daily, to how I’m spending my time. How I spend my time will add up to my life, and it is just this one earthly life that I have – this one life that my babies will remember and think about one day when they get older. What if someone were to ask them, “What does your mommy love most?” Would they think of their daddy, or themselves, or Jesus, or would they think of my computer? How do they see me spending the majority of my time?

My babes are important to me, and I want them to grow up knowing how to live a real life in the real world. I want them to have strong, lovely memories of me because I know they will be healthier for it, emotionally and spiritually.

How much time I spend online means something to them.

And it means something to me, because I want to really live. I want to live where God has placed me, with the people He’s placed me with. I want to get outside

myself and get uncomfortable and do things that matter. In the real world. For real, hurting people.

And for the people in my care.

So that’s why five minutes matters.

That’s why it’s important to use this gift of time well, because it all adds up to something or nothing. And I want something.”

~ Sarah Mae

{This post contains affiliate links. See my disclosure page for details.}

Five minutes does matter, doesn’t it? Sarah Mae’s book, The UnWired Mom, offers encouragement, vision, practicality, and a two-week challenge designed to equip you with healthy online habits so you can live fully present and purposeful in your real life. Buy The UnWired Mom as a pdf or for Kindle and begin your two week challenge to disconnect today!  signature-heidi

SM1000bwcontrast-265x300Sarah Mae is the wife of Jesse and the mother of the three spunky, beautiful children. She is the author of the best-selling eBook, 31 Days to Clean – Having a Martha House the Mary Way, the co-author of the book, Desperate – Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe, and a contributor to the DaySpring blog, (in)courage.

If you love cozy socks, coffee, Little Women, and candles, you might be her kindred spirit. You can find her blogging {almost} daily at SarahMae.com, tweeting @sarahmae, or Facebooking (is that a word?) at SarahMaeWrites.