Category Archives: Parenting

Wisdom and the Hard Work of Parenting

Have you noticed how hard parenting can be?

I’ve been talking with my husband lately about how difficult parenting can be. I said to him the other day, “You know, you’d think that after twenty three years of parenting we would have this down!” We both just stared blankly at each other—you know, the kind of staring you do when you’re spent and don’t have anything left to say… that kind.

Having children and actually doing the tough job of parenting them can really push you. I’ve noticed that as our children have gotten older, we’ve needed to rely more and more and more on God and His wisdom as we parent our children. There’s a funny thing about children: they may come from the same set of parents, but they are NEVER the same, are they?

We have seven children, and they are nothing like each other. They don’t have the same personalities, they don’t look the same, they don’t struggle with the same things, and we often marvel to each other that two parents can have seven children that could be so different! Because of this, we need unique guidance from the Lord for them.

I want to read to you today from James 1. I hope you’ll get out your highlighters or your pencils and pens and write in the margins of your Bible and at the very least, write today’s date. There’s something about looking back in your Bible and remembering when God taught you something new or spoke to you in a new way.

This verse is a great verse for moms especially. Listen to what James had to say about wisdom:

If any of you lacks wisdom, ask our generous God, and He will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking, but when you ask Him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and the world. They are unstable in everything they do.”

God is telling us that He wants us to have faith in Him when we ask Him for things. So mom, when you need faith for that child of yours who is faithless, or you need wisdom for a decision that has been weighing you down, ask the Lord. He wants you to come before Him with great faith and trust in Him, because He is trustworthy. If you’re struggling today, take your struggle to the Lord. Tell Him that you need to have more faith. Ask Him for the wisdom that you need for that child or that teenager, or that ten-year old that’s making you crazy. Ask the Lord to show you exactly what that child needs. Ask him for that specific situation.

The Lord wants to give it to you. He says that if you need wisdom, ask Him, and He’ll give it to you.

He’s good like that.

Only What is Helpful

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http://heidistjohn.com/blog//wp-content/uploads/TBM-08-Only_What_Is_Helpful.mp3

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Today we’re in the book of Ephesians, chapter 4, verse 29. (Ephesians 4:29)

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up, according to their needs, that it might benefit those who listen.”

Wow. That it might benefit those who listen. I had read this verse a couple of times because I am not a very good example, I think, to my kids sometimes! The Bible says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth.” Well, I don’t have that down.

“…but only what is helpful” … no, I don’t have that down. “That it might benefit those who listen.” As we’re praying today, before we take on the day and before the busyness of the day sets in, let’s take a moment and Continue reading →

A Fall Family Tradition

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I love traditions. Seriously. If left to my own insanity, I would have a tradition for everything I do. This runs along quite well with my insane hate for change, so instead of insisting of my love of the regular… I label it Traditions!

And once Fall hits, It’s time for my cute aprons to come out and our baking to begin. Starting in September, September 1st to be exact. We welcome Fall into our Little Red house. It’s still hot in the south, but we celebrate a bit early to anticipate what’s to come.

What once started out as a simple apple pie to welcome in the season has now turned into an apple festival that spiraled out of control! With 7 kids and various family and friends who anticipate the start of baking day as much as we do….Pies, crisps and home made applesauce now adorn our days.

For me food means bringing people together… and that’s what I love the most. The gathering of my kids around the table, excited about the days events. As my children grow, my traditions have been taken over by them. I have graduated to the “overseer” as my teenagers happily start handing out jobs to the littler ones. Their friends come over to help with the baking.

There is something about a full house that warms my heart… and usually, in the center of that is food! It brings people closer, puts them at ease and warms the soul.

In our Little Red House the smell of Fall closely resembles Apples. Our huge crock pot is simmering with freshly peeled apples….Sprinkled with various amounts of sugar and cinnamon… And a bag of apples are always bought for my Aunt Diana who lives right down the street. My children love to pick the juiciest ones for her to make into the best apple butter this side of the Mason-Dixon Line.

This year, we learned the secret of “seconds.” Seconds are the apples that fall to the ground before they get the chance to be picked. They are gathered and placed in a huge farm freezer and are sold for mere pennies. So after my kids picked some fruit from the trees, we purchased a huge box of seconds for about $5. After making 4 apple pies, 2 apple crisps, 8.5 qts of apple sauce, 4 cans of apple butter, freezing 15 apples for later use AND eating apples with breakfast, lunch and dinner, we still had about 1/2 a bushel left over….

Our Apple Pie tradition has been celebrated for over a decade. It has been picked up by other families and inspired people to celebrate the little things.

My prayer is that when my kids grow up and go off on their own, that somehow, they will all make their way back to my Little Red House for a plateful of apple pie. That they will come back with their husbands and wives, their kids and their friends…

And that one day, when I am long gone, they will carry this tradition on in their own home. That on September 1st neighbors will smell the sweet aroma of cooking apples and know that in their house… Love abides.

XOXO

It Doesn’t Get Better Than This

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It’s back to school time. Time for school supplies and math books. Time for meeting new teachers. Time for ordering curriculum. Time for lists and lunch boxes, kleenex boxes and juice boxes. A new season is here.

All those people who told me that it would go by fast—those irritating older people at the grocery store who told me to “enjoy it” while I tried to juggle a fussy toddler and keep my 4 yr old out of the bubble gum, those older moms at the library and in church who looked at my little ones with a longing in their eyes that I could not understand—they were right. Continue reading →

The Art of Leaving Things Undone

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Hello, sweet moms-you made it to Monday 🙂 Good job. Last night I was wondering if I would make it or not! 😉

I’m out here on my back porch, my little morning spot, with my water and my Bible. In a few minutes, I’ll switch to a cup of hot tea—and the first set of small feet will likely begin to make their way toward me. In a few minutes, the phone will start ringing. I’ll need to think of a plan for dinner. The children will need to be reminded of their chores for the week. The unexpected, unplanned things of everyday life will begin in earnest.

Breathe in, busy mom. Monday is here.

Last week I overheard someone rather piously say that when she had her quiet time each day, she got it back tenfold. Honestly, I don’t know what she meant. Honestly? Any time I give to Jesus is time that I give up—meaning it’s time I choose to put aside other things that may feel more pressing so that a greater thing can happen in my spirit. The “multiplication” happens in my soul, not on my schedule.

Jill Briscoe once said that “There is an art of leaving things undone so that the greater thing can be done.”

Oh man, that’s hard for me. Is it hard for you, too? There are always so many things to do. Can any of them wait? I’m always asking myself “what is more important?” I hate to admit it, but usually I find myself at war with my flesh.

Lord, please allow your spirit to win out over my flesh.

…my flesh and my heart fail…

As I grow in my walk with Lord and as I mother, I’m learning to leave things undone. Well, honestly, sometimes they are wrenched from my hands. Just like we must leave things “undone” if we are going to take advantage of that special moment with our child or nurture our marriage, we will find there are times when we will need to leave things undone so that we can nurture our relationship with the Lord.

Years ago, on a morning much like this one, I was up at 4:00 a.m.—not out of a sense of commitment to the Lord—but because I had been up all night with a fussy baby. My body and my spirit were running on empty. I felt so far from God.

But something happened in the stillness of that morning as I watched the sunrise over the mountains. God spoke to me about the intimate details of my life. He gently reminded me that He was not frustrated by my commitment to care for my family. He understood the demands of the newborn and the homeschooling and the oh-so-daily dinner prep. He totally understood that I could not muster a daily prayer without falling asleep, much less open my Bible.

And he loved me. Not because of anything I had done, but because of what He had done for me. He loves you too, busy mom. God is not distracted or annoyed by the children playing at your feet. He doesn’t need “quiet” to talk to you. If this is a season that defies the word “quiet” in your life, it’s okay.

God understands “seasons.” He created them. He created you. He gave you children. Here’s the thing though—intimacy with God does not happen though osmosis. Just like any father—if we want to know Him, we need to spend time with Him. We need to learn to leave some things undone so that a greater thing can be done in our spirit.

I wanted to know God more. I needed His presence in my life. Slowly, I began to make a commitment to intimacy with God—first little steps, like reading my Bible with the kids or reading a children’s devotional with them. Just like the five loaves and fishes, God took my little effort and multiplied it. He will do the same for you. He’s good like that.

Psalm 16:11 says that in God’s presence, there is fullness of joy. Nehemiah 8:10 tells us that God’s joy is our strength. True strength is never found apart from Him.

Monday is a great day to hit the “reset” button—to begin a pattern of talking with God. To abide in Him. He’s got joy and strength for you. Ask Him. He’s got everything you need today.

Learning to leave things “undone” with you,

Grace Upon Grace

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Good morning moms!

It’s 6:30 a.m. here and my house is still quiet. The sun is coming up a little later now, but the birds are singing and the wonderful scent of the morning air that comes through my window reminds me stop and breathe deeply. As I fill my lungs with the cool, crisp summer air, I am reminded that I need the quiet—because in a few minutes, there will be 15 hours of … well … not quiet—if you know what I mean.

Mothering requires more grace than we possess, doesn’t it?

I know it does for me. Yesterday was a stark reminder to me of just how much grace I must possess if I am going to be a giver of grace to my children. It seemed that every five minutes I was a referee or a nurse. A water-giver. A toy finder. A butterfly catcher. A spider-killer. An oh-so-daily meal maker. A homework finder. A chore-inspector. A judge.

You get the idea. I’m a mother.

Want to know the truth? All I really wanted to do yesterday was to be left alone. For some reason, I felt overwhelmed from the moment the kids came down to breakfast to when the last one went to bed. Sometimes, we just need grace, don’t we?

In John 1:16, we read, ” For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace.”

Grace upon grace. This from the One who gave His life for ours as a ransom.

Grace.

When Jesus came into the world, He introduced a revolutionary new thought to the religious leaders of the day: grace.

They had been in bondage their rules; their lists of do’s and don’ts. Jesus heaped “grace upon grace” toward them—and in doing so, He freed them from their rules. They were set free to follow Jesus out of love and devotion instead of fear.

Because of the grace and love of Jesus, we are free to enjoy life to it’s fullest. I don’t know about you, but knowing this makes me want to be a better wife, a better mother.

Knowing that true grace, undeserved grace comes from God reminds me that if I’m going to give grace, I need to remain close to the one who defines it. I need to stay in the Word. I need to be on my knees.

In just a few minutes, I’ll have my first opportunity of the day to give grace: in just a few minutes, our bleary-eyed toddler will make her first appearance of the day. The same scenarios that played out yesterday will—by the grace of God, play out again today. I want to greet our children with joy and grace, not because they deserve it necessarily, but because, like me, they don’t.

His grace is humbling, isn’t it? It causes me to want to love and protect those that have been entrusted to my care. What an awesome opportunity—to walk in grace and be blessed by it in return.

Stay connected to the Grace giver,

Just for Fun (And Learning)

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Life is never as easy as Pinterest makes it look, is it?

I saw this post today and thought: “Oh! I’ll make that! Easy-peasy.” Well, like most things, it took some determination and some conversation and some adjusting … wait … that’s what ALL good things require!

So, if you’re looking for something fun that you can do with your kids (notice I did not say healthy, I said fun) then give this a try. We did it a few times before finally figuring out what made it look cool.

Turns out, there really is a “science” to it!

Have fun!

STEP ONE: Pour fruit juice over ice. Sorry, but it has to be the sugary kind. That pesky “good for you” stuff won’t work for this treat. The sugar weighs more. So it needs to be sugary to stay on the bottom of the cup.

STEP 2: Use a spoon to diffuse the blue drink (we found, after three tries, that a mixture of Gatorade, water and one drop of blue food coloring for show worked best) to carefully add the second layer to your drink.

STEP THREE: Same thing—carefully pour the diet whatever (we used Sprite Zero) on the top. Go slow!

STEP FOUR: Enjoy! You did it! Be sure to talk to your kids about “why” this works 🙂

Happy Independence Day! God Bless America!

Have Fun With Your Kids,

Heidi St. John

Speaking the Truth in Love