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How to Be Christ to Others at Christmas

“It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:26-28, ESV)

Christmas time. A time of celebration of Christ the newborn King. A joyous time of year for many, but also a very difficult time of year for many. Whether emotional, physical or spiritual, we will always know someone who struggles to keep going. And it’s our responsibility and great privilege to meet their needs.

While we should always be on the lookout for those who are in need, being ready and willing to help and ease the burden, Christmas is a fantastic time of year to really get into it. And it’s the perfect opportunity to involve your family, as you take time off for the holidays.

Over the last couple of years, we have relaxed our school schedule during the month of December. Each year before that Christmas approached, I felt stressed out as there were so many projects and things we wanted to be involved in, but just weren’t able to for lack of time. When we planned for a release of our expectations for school during the month of Advent, we were able to accomplish so much in the way of blessing and serving others.

If you homeschool, I would encourage you to examine your schedule throughout the year, and work in a way to have a few weeks off during December (including BEFORE Christmas) to serve. That is part of the beauty of homeschooling now, isn’t it? To have the flexibility to set our own schedules, and most importantly, to be involved in the lives of others, as a family.

If you are not homeschooling, I would encourage you to find ways as a family that you can serve just over the time your kids may have off school. But this isn’t just about being all rosy and glowy servants during Christmas. This is about desiring and exhibiting a heart for serving ALL year round. Christmas is a fantastic time to start though!

As a family, we have come up with a list of ways we can be serving and caring for others on a regular basis, but also specific projects to tackle during Christmas. This list is certainly far from finished, but I hope it sparks some ideas for your own family and enables you to find a starting point of serving.

Visit a nursing home or hospital ward.

This has to be one of my FAVOURITE ideas of all time. We did it growing up as a homeschool group, and now my kids are doing it with our co-op group. They work hard to put on a program for the seniors, and everyone loves every minute of it! After we socialize with some homemade goodies and put together gingerbread houses. Contact a seniors/nursing or retirement home in your area and ask about coming in, as individuals or a group, to bring a light.

The same could be done at a hospital ward, though you may be limited to coming and singing songs throughout, delivering goodies to rooms, and visiting for a few moments. Though it may be uncomfortable and it will definitely be stretching, all these people are probably not thrilled to be in a hospital for Christmas, so think of how much of a blessing it would be to them.

RACK’ed.

Last year we started doing Random Acts of Christmas Kindness – or RACK. I originally got the idea from Tracie Stier in her post here. We’ve come up with a list of ideas we will keep adding to, but for each one we leave behind a candy cane with this message on it:

Our ideas so far include:

shovel driveways
pay for the person behind in the drive thru
make cookies for firemen and library workers
bring hot coffee / chocolate to construction workers
make someone a meal
make ornaments and hand them out to people
give goody bags to grocery store cashiers
visit neighbours with goodies

Meet a family’s needs.

We often have no idea what other people are going through. That’s why I love small groups so much, because it helps you to stay connected with people you may not normally “hang out” with, while building each other up in your walk with Christ. But most importantly, it makes a way for you to meet the needs of others. Though you may not know what everyone’s needs are, someone knows! And the question begs to be asked, especially at Christmas when the money gets tighter.

Ask your small group leaders or elders if there are any families that have needs to be met. Whether it be financial or physical, do your utmost to fulfill them. Make some meals, offer transportation, buy gifts or Christmas dinner, be there to comfort them or invite them to your home if they have gone through the loss of a loved one. Often a few months after, they fall to the wayside, but now especially need to be surrounded by love and encouragement. Offer babysitting to parents (especially single parents!), so they can get shopping done or just have some time to breathe and relax.

Another way that you can meet a family’s needs is through organizations like Gospel for Asia. I’m talking about buying cows, bicycles, sewing machines and wells. Each year we choose gifts from the Gospel for Asia Christmas catalogue to help a family in need. This is something the kids look forward to so much, and we have been so blessed to see the sacrificial way they give. What an amazing opportunity to change the entire livelihood of a whole family in need!

Contribute to your local food bank.

Our church organizes a food drive donation each year, and the kids REALLY get behind this. Though surprisingly, this year they said “There aren’t any poor people in our town.” And they’re sort of right, to the naked eye, you can’t SEE those who are suffering in our town. But when you go to the food bank and hear about the people who use it, you realize things aren’t always as they seem. So go, bring some goodies, ask some questions, go for a tour, and help your children to see that things aren’t always as they seem, and we often need to look past appearances to see the hurt.

Give of your time.

There are SO many opportunity and areas to volunteer in, it makes me giddy! Unfortunately in our area, a lot of them you have to be over 18 for. So I’m waiting excitedly until that day! (Only 9 years to go :D) Food banks, soup kitchens, shelters, crisis centers, homes for women and children, churches, Operation Christmas Child packaging facilities – if you Google it, you will find it.

Host a shoe-cutting party.

This is a new idea we’ve had this year, and are so excited to be involved in! Many kids in Africa have sores and infection on their feet because of sand fleas that burrow in and lay eggs. All because they have no shoes! Sole Hope came up with a way to help, and it involves taking your old jeans and cutting them into shoes. It’s a really easy way to give back ANY time of the year, not just at Christmas. The kids are making cards and handing out letters to their friends asking for their old jeans to make new shoes.

In reality, any of these ideas are things you can do year-round. But especially at Christmas, when the message of Christ coming to serve and to save is so prevalent – what better way can you be like Christ than to serve others in His Name?

What fun ways of serving do you take on during the month of Christmas to serve and bless others?

Time for Mom to Stay Sane During the Holidays

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The stores are alive with the glittery, sparkly beacons of Christmas. Carols hum through the speakers, adding a jolly skip to the step of the shoppers. Can you feel it? “Holiday” is in the air.

I love this time of year–deeply. At the same time, the busier calendar and the growing “To Do” list can easily weigh me down and suck the joy – and the meaning – out of the holidays. I love this time of year so much, sometimes I overextend myself.

Meanwhile, bickering children hyped up on on sugar and Christmas Anticipation, can “ruin” my perfectly planned Intentional Moments and Special Memories. Low on time and patience, I soon find myself frustrated and bitter over ruined plans.

If I don’t watch my back, and my time, “tis the season to be jolly” can turn into “tis the reason to be grumpy.” It’s not pretty.

In the middle of my to and fro and bicker and grump, I sometimes wonder if I’m doing it right. Am I missing something?

Here’s the thing we have to remember, Sweet Moms–there is no one “right” way. There is only “as the Lord leads us each to do.” As long as we are following God’s lead and giving Him our very best, then we are doing this right.

God didn’t choose Elizabeth to be the mother of John the Baptist because she was perfect. God didn’t choose Mary to be the mother of our Savior because she was sinless. But God did use these righteous and obedient women for His Glory. Most importantly, it was GOD at work in their hearts that enabled them to be righteous and obedient – not something they inherently contained within themselves already.

We may not be an Elizabeth or a Mary, but God uses us, too. We are raising and growing children for God, too. He takes our obedient and willing hearts and enables us to go and do and serve. If we seek His will for our days, our calendars, our holiday seasons, and our memorable moments, He will lead us to make wise decisions and give us the patience and grace we need for the stressful moments. In Christ’s strength – not my own.

I have noticed that, as usual, time is key.

When I am low on time, when I am running late, when I am overbooked – the time crunch leads to stress and craziness.

When I spend my time on the wrong sorts of things, make unwise decisions, procrastinate or waste time – I feel overwhelmed.

When I let the busy schedule take the time I’m supposed to spend with God, when I forget to stop and seek His will for my day and His presence in my activities – I feel like I’m failing. One stressed out Crazy Mom.

Three Tips To Stay Sane During the Holidays

Don’t fill up the calendar.
Don’t focus on the “stuff.”
Spend Time With God

Fill up with prayer and The Word before you give and give and find yourself running on empty. Seek His will and His wisdom when choosing which activities to join and which to forego this season so that you leave plenty of room in your calendar. Remember that neither getting it “right,” nor having a great holiday season with your family, nor serving God and glorying Him is measured by the “stuff.”

It doesn’t matter if you forget to do a Christmas craft, if you have to separate squabbling kids in the middle of an Advent reading, if you have many presents under the tree or if you have great decorations. What matters is the time. The time we spend with our family, our kids, and serving others. And yes, taking time for ourselves, time to refuel and refocus and reorient.

Yes, time is, indeed, a very key factor.

This holiday season, let’s make sure that we make enough time for ourselves that we don’t go crazy, shall we?

Image Source Credit: Christmas Table by Petr Kratochvil

5 Christmas Picture Books That Will Point Your Kids to Jesus

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I will warn you ahead of time, this post could have been titled, “5 Christmas Picture Books That Will Make Momma Cry.”

Despite those tears that usually mean my son reads the final pages, these books remain one of the most special parts of our Christmas celebration every year. At a time when the focus often drifts to receiving, rather than giving, Santa, instead of Jesus, and filling stockings seems more pressing than filling our hearts, reading these books will help redirect your family back to the reason we celebrate — the birth of a Savior.

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The Christmas Miracle of Jonathan Toomey by Susan Wojciechowski

Jonathan Toomey is the best woodcarver in the valley, but he is always alone and never smiles. No one knows about the mementos of his lost wife and child that he keeps in an unopened drawer. But one early winter’s day, a widow and her young son approach him with a gentle request that leads to a joyful miracle.

The Legend of the Candy Cane by Lori Walburg

One dark November night a stranger rides into a small prairie town. Who is he? Why has he come? The townspeople wish he were a doctor, a dressmaker, or a trader. But the children have the greatest wish of all, a deep, quiet, secret wish. Then a young girl named Lucy befriends the newcomer. When he reveals his identity and shares with her the legend of the candy cane, she discovers fulfillment of her wishes and the answer to her town’s dreams. Now will she share what she has learned?

Silver Packages: An Appalachian Christmas Story by Cynthia Rylant

In Appalachia each Christmas, a boy named Frankie waits beside the tracks for the Christmas Train, which will bring presents to the children who live in coal towns and hollows. Year after year, Frankie hopes that one particular gift, a very special gift will be tossed to him from that train. It is this enduring hope that will guide him to the true meaning of the season.

Christmas Oranges by Linda Bethers and Ben Sowards

The only home little Rose has ever known is the orphanage, but Mrs. Hartley cares for all the children as if they were her own. When Mrs. Hartley dies, Rose is sent to a new orphanage, which is as cold and cruel as her previous home was kind.

Gradually Rose makes a few friends, and she learns that every Christmas a generous neighbor donates a box of oranges for the children.

An orange is an unknown luxury for little Rose, and she waits in eager anticipation. But on Christmas morning, Rose is brokenhearted when she learns that there is no orange for her.

However, Christmas is a time of friendship, love, and of miracles . . .

Annika’s Secret Wish by Beverly Lewis

A beautiful book that will become part of a family’s Christmas heritage, Annika’s Secret Wish inspires young and old to freely give and share even long hoped-for gifts. The final page features Swedish Christmas traditions that your family may choose to include in your own holiday celebration.

May this be a season of joy for your family, as you dig in deeper to share the real meaning of Christmas with your children.

And an angel of the Lord suddenly stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them; and they were terribly frightened. And the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of a great joy which shall be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. “And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths, and lying in a manger.” Luke 2:9-12

You Can’t Give What You Don’t Have

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Do you have teenagers in your home? If you do, chances are that you have experienced tension in those teenage years.

The Bible says that our children are like arrows in a mighty warrior. Let’s look at Psalm 127:3-5, it says,

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.”

I have been talking about parenting for a long time, not because I have it down–I don’t–not by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, the older I get and the older my kids get, (now we have a couple of them that are young adults and one of them is married and has a son of her own) I realize how much I really don’t know and how very dependent on the Lord I am.

I worry sometimes when I see so many parents making decisions for their teens in order to keep them “safe” rather than teaching them to depend on the Lord and seek them for themselves. We are not teaching them to develop their own set of internalized Biblical convictions: a set of standards that they derive from the Bible, so that when we are not around them, they are capable of making good, moral, and wise decisions.

We have been talking to parents awhile now about inconsistency in parenthood and consistency in your walk with God. Remember when I talked about the Firmly Planted Bible series that Jay and I wrote for families? The reason why Jay and I wrote those is because we are seeing so many families who are giving their kids rules but they are not directing them to Scripture. It’s easy to parent our children out of fear and not even realize we’re doing it.

Teenagers, especially, need to understand the boundaries that God has set for us in Scripture. As parents, we have to know God’s word.

I want to encourage you today to spend time with God. Read His Word for yourself. Often times, we do not know how to use the Bible to guide us in matters of everyday living, and our own lack of knowledge is keeping us from teaching our children to live in a Biblically wise way.

It’s easy for me to get tired and neglect my own time with the Lord. Maybe you can relate. If you are parenting your children from a spiritually dry place yourself, remember this: you can’t give them what you don’t have. If you don’t have a walk with the Lord, if you don’t have a clear understanding of God’s Word, or a love for His will, or a clear method of reasoning with Biblical convictions, your children won’t have that either.

We should be teaching our children to love, serve, and follow the Lord, so that they can stay away from the two spectrums that the world defines as religion. There’s a ditch on either side. We always tell our kids; the one ditch is legalism–where everything is bound by law and things done by rote. The other side of that is pervasiveness, where we say, “Well, it doesn’t matter, everyone’s truth is different.”

Both of those are not Biblical boundaries. A true believer decides that the Lord is in charge of his life and willingly lives inside those boundaries, he does not live testing them. Often times we find our children testing them and I’ve noticed some things in the life of our own children, and, frankly, in my own life, that our convictions are based on the truth of God’s word. We must have those convictions in our hearts, and in order for me to impart those to my children, and to do what the Bible says in Deuteronomy, to train my children to love and follow the Lord, I have to be doing that in my own life.

When you think about what the most important thing is you can do for your children, think of it in the context of how you can help them walk with the Lord. I am convinced that it is so important to define the concept of conviction and personal responsibility in our children within the framework of God’s Word.

So, take them back to His Word–over and over again. Don’t simply give them someone else’s sermon on CD. If they have a question that you don’t have an answer to, it’s okay to say, “You know what? I don’t have the answer to that. But God does. Let’s pray about it.”

Be a place where your kids can be a sounding board and get to know God’s word yourself in a personal way, because you can’t give your kids what you don’t have yourself.

Sharing Your Children During the Holidays

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The holidays can be a wonderful time of the year. There’s a lot of fellowship and family time with big family dinners and delicious desserts. I have fond memories of crowding in front of the television to look for Snoopy in the Thanksgiving Parade. And I waited all year long to watch Charlie Brown and his friends gather around that sad Christmas tree. The holidays can be a wonderful time of year, but sometimes it can be a time of stress and discontent, especially if you are a single parent.

The hardest part of being a single mom (for me) is navigating the waters of time sharing with my ex husband. During mediation things went smoothly until we started trying to figure out visits and time sharing for the boys. We were able to agree on the regular every day schedule but when it came to Thanksgiving and Christmas we hit a stalemate. After 45 minutes of going back and forth the mediation ended without a decision. We did finally come to an agreement but I had to step away, pray and really think things through.

If you are in a situation where you are sharing your children during the holidays, I know that it can be a hard thing. We are used to having our families together for these special times, and it can be devastating when that doesn’t happen anymore. I have been that mom – sad, depressed and lonely without my sweet boys. It hurts, but there is hope. I want to share some suggestions that have worked for us and just encourage you not to lose your joy this holiday season.

Maintain the Status Quo

If at all possible try to keep your child’s holiday routine and traditions the same. I know that it may be difficult. For a long time I went through a time when I took my children to places where I was clearly not welcomed or wanted because I didn’t want them to miss out on time with their dad’s side of the family. For birthdays and holidays I would show up with my boys and then retreat to a quiet corner in the room or sit outside on the porch while they enjoyed time with their cousins and grandparents. I kept this up until the day that I was called and told not to come over at all.

Compromise

If you cannot maintain the status quo, the next thing you need to try is compromise. Find the best way that you can to make sure that your children have time with all the important people their lives. Our compromise is for my boys to spend Thanksgiving morning and the first half of the afternoon with me and then the second half with their father. For Christmas they spend the night on the 23rd with their dad and and then come home for church service on the 24th and we open our gifts on the 25th.

Make New Traditions

One thing that has been really helpful for us to make some new traditions. Show your children that you are still a family. My boys and I started serving at a local homeless shelter during the holiday season. I wasn’t sure at first that my little ones would do more than get in the way, but it has been a blessing to all of us. I got to see my boys working hard: helping with trash, handing out napkins, and helping with drinks. I smiled as I watched my then 3 year walk from table to table telling people, “God loves you.”

Last year for the Christmas season I started an advent calendar with my boys. Each day from December 1-25 we would read a story book about the birth of Jesus. They loved every minute of it. It was also a great way to help then countdown to the day that we would celebrate the birth of Christ and the day that they would get to spend the night with their dad.

Are you a single parent sharing your children during the holidays? How do you manage it? For you married moms how do you balance time with both sides of the family?

It Can’t Wait: Teaching Our Children About God

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god_deserves_a_place

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I wonder, as families, are talking about the Lord very often? I mean, really, if I were to ask you if we should be talking about the Lord, you’d answer, “Yes, of course we’re supposed to be talking about the Lord!” However, when it comes down to it, it’s not as easy as it sounds, is it? It’s easier to put the Lord at the end of our day or at the end of our conversation, if we even remember Him at all.

Sometimes, we only mention His name when we need help. I think this is the common response— we we run to God only in times of crisis or emergency. Certainly, God is there in those times, but I wonder what our families would look like if we ran to Him on a daily basis rather than in times of crisis or struggle.

If you already have your Bible, turn with me to a familiar passage that most of you probably know. It’s in the Old Testament, in the book of Deuteronomy, chapter 6:5-7. This is what it says:

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”

A couple of years ago, my husband and I began a writing project called Firmly Planted. The heart behind this Bible study is to engage the whole family in the study God’s Word. One book, with activities and engaging questions for all ages. We began this project in response to something that we saw happening within the homeschool community, but as we spoke to our friends outside the homeschool community we began to see that many of us were struggling with the same thing. We talk a lot about walking with the Lord, but we are not doing anything proactively to teach and train our children in the ways of the Lord.

This may require a sacrifice of time and energy on our part as parents, but one thing is certain: if we don’t teach our children about God, the world will do it for us. We want our children to know the Lord, we want them to give Him the same place in our families that He holds in the universe. The Bible says that God is the Creator of all things.

So, as you consider your family, take a step back and ask yourself, “Are we studying the Bible as a family? Do my children see me reading the Bible? Do they know that God has a place in our family, that He is the most important part of our family?”

God deserves a place in your family, busy mom, and, you know what? He deserves first place. He deserves to be at the head of the table. Our children need to know that God is real and personal. They need to know that He loves them and wants to have a relationship with them.

Does this take effort? Yes, it does.

Someone asked me one time, “How do you make your children love the Bible?” I had to laugh a little as I remembered all the times that my children had grumbled and complained when we gathered the family for devotions. They would say things like, “Really mom? Do we HAVE to do that?” I’d like to say that it was perfect, but there were times where arguing was involved. Looking back, I can honestly say that the most important times that I remember with my adult children were when we were reading the Word and God really spoke to them in such a way that they began to see their relationship with Him in a personal way.

Let your kids see that God takes first place in your family. Although God deserves to have priority in the lives of your family members, don’t just do it for Him. Put Him first in your family for the sake of your family and you will find that there is tremendous blessing in walking with God.

My grandpa used to say,

“If you keep God outside of your family, there will be problems inside your family.”

Grandpa was right. We see this in our culture, too. Where we remove God, we struggle and suffer. Walk with God, busy mom. Spend time in His Word with your kids and then see what God will do.

P.S. Have you been enjoying these daily devotions in podcast format? I hope so—because I’m sure enjoying recording them! Let me know how you’re doing—and feel free to post questions, too! I hope these daily devotions are helping you get into the Bible on a consistent basis.

Heidi St. John

Speaking the Truth in Love