Tag Archives: single mothering

Affording to homeschool as a single parent

Affording to Homeschool as a Single Mom

I didn’t know anything about homeschooling until I was pregnant with my first son. I’d always gone to public school and I just figured it was either public or private. My mind was slightly blown when my childbirth educator and doula told me that she homeschooled her children.  She was also a single mom at the time and in law school. Over the course of my pregnancy we talked alot about her decision to homeschool.

Fast forward 4 short years and I found myself in almost the exact same position. I was in law-school, with two children and my oldest was getting close to the age of Kindergarten. I had a choice to make about his education. At first I figured that I’d just put him in private school. Then I considered holding him back another year so he could mature emotionally before starting school. Finally one day I heard God clearly tell me that I was to homeschool my boys.

Say what?

It’s been 4 years since I obeyed that call to homeschool my boys. I never imagined that I’d be a single parent homeschooling, but I’m here to tell you that it can be done.

Affording to homeschool as a single parent

Single Parent Homeschooling: Affording it

The #1 question people ask me all the time is “How do you support yourself?” It’s a hard question to answer because honestly what works for me may not (and probably won’t) work for everyone.  When I decided to follow the call to homeschool I also walked away from a legal career. Yep, you read that right. I am not using that legal degree that I worked hard for.  And no, I don’t regret it.

I do work, but not a full-time job. I do a little free lance writing, I work as a virtual assistant and I’m in the process of starting a life coaching business. All of these I can do from home and it works around homeschooling and my boys’ schedule.  Here are some other tips for affording to homeschool as a single parent:

  1. Keep it simple: Homeschooling does not have to cost an arm and a leg. There are many options out there for teaching our children that are affordable and sometimes even free!
  2. Choose a Curriculum that works best for your family: When I’m looking for curriculum I have a few requirements that must be met before I buy anything. My #1 requirement is that it must be something that I can use with both my boys at some point.  I don’t have the budget to buy new stuff every year so I look for things that we can either use at the same time or that can be passed down once my oldest is done with it.
  3. Always look for ways to teach a subject for free before you buy a curriculum: The library is a homeschooler’s best resource. You can teach many subjects with your library card and some really great books. Some libraries even have homeschool texts that you can check out to use for a while.
  4. Look for free or discounted days at museums and parks.  Many museums, zoos and parks have one annual free day, days where you can donate cans of food for a discounted ticket or other deals of that sort.  Don’t hesitate to call a place you want to go and ask if they have a homeschool week!
  5. Barter if there is something you need.  Is there an older person in your life who would love to teach your children woodworking?  Maybe you can make a crock pot of soup once a week while he shares his skill.  Or maybe you’re a fabulous bread baker and your friend loves to teach science.  Make a plan to trade services!
  6. Choose what is most important, and let the rest go. Don’t feel pressured to make your homeschool look like your friend’s. Your friend may use a $500 boxed curriculum or do every Pinterest craft she can find… you don’t have to do that! Spending hours on (free) nature walks together will afford your children as many delightful memories as theirs. I promise!

Those are just a few of the practical ways that I can afford to homeschool as a single parent.  Practicality aside, however, I rely on God to provide for me to do what He has called me to do!  He has called me to homeschool my boys, and He has been faithful in providing the means for me to do so.  If He asks you do homeschool, He will provide for it!

Do you have any questions about single parent homeschooling?? Leave them in the comments and I’ll do my best to answer them or write another post about it.

signature_latoya

 

Heidi St John Homeschooling Guide to Daylight

When Valentine's Day is Hard: Encouragement for single moms

When Valentine’s Day is Hard

Valentine’s Day has always been a hard day for me. When my marriage started to crumble it became almost unbearable. Even now almost 4 years later the day is still hard. Watching couples gush over each other is hard. Seeing beautiful pregnant ladies is hard. Watching families playing together at the playground is hard. It’s hard all year round but there’s something about a day that supposed to be all about love that makes it harder.

When Valentine's Day is Hard: Encouragement for single moms

Feel the pain but don’t wallow in self pity

What are we to do when our homes and hearts are broken and there’s love all around? Feel the pain. Anytime that you try to ignore that ache in your heart you are at risk of making some poor choices. I don’t know about you, but when I start trying to ignore the fact that I’m hurting I usually find myself in a sticky situation.  A situation that always ends up with me in more pain than before I started.

You’ve got to feel the pain to get to the healing. But don’t throw yourself a pity party.

Forgive the person that’s causing you pain

Yes I know it’s the last thing that you want to do but you have to. The hardest thing that I’ve ever had to do was to forgive my ex for walking out on our family. But I had to do it or I was going to be no good to my children, my friends or anyone else that came across my path.

If you are at the point where you are in new relationships it may be a little tricky. You get your hopes tied up that maybe this man is the one, that maybe you’ll get it right this time. And then it doesn’t work out the way you expected. Maybe you both realize that it’s not a good fit. Maybe you decide that you just aren’t ready for a commitment yet. Or maybe, dear sister you find yourself ready to commit to someone else and they reject you.

Whatever the situation forgive. Every single time you think about that hurt they caused, forgive. Forgive them and then forgive yourself.

Remember that He loves you

My last piece of encouragement for you is to remember that He loves you. God loves you all the time no matter what. When your husband tells you that you aren’t pretty anymore, God says you are beautiful.  When you feel worthless and unwanted remember that Jesus loved you so much that He died on the cross for you. When that person that you care about so much decides to betray and hurt you, God loves you. He loves you and will be there to pick up the pieces of your broken heart and make you whole again.

Have some fun

I know that getting through Valentine’s Day is hard, but one of the best ways to avoid overfocusing on our own pain is to focus on others.  I do that by having fun with my boys on February 14th. Here are some suggestions for you:

  • Watch A Charlie Brown Valentine
  • Bake and decorate some heart shaped cookies
  • Spend the day with some good friends
  • Make some cards with your children and take an hour or so to deliver them personally
  • Get all dressed up and take your children out for a meal or let them take you out (even you have to give them the money to do it)

If you are hurting today please leave a comment so I can pray with you. You don’t have to leave any details a simple “pray for me” will do.

~LaToya, Learning to Let HIM Lead

Heidi St John Guide to Daylight

Sharing Your Children During the Holidays

The holidays can be a wonderful time of the year. There’s a lot of fellowship and family time with big family dinners and delicious desserts.  I have fond memories of crowding in front of the television to look for Snoopy in the Thanksgiving Parade. And I waited all year long to watch Charlie Brown and his friends gather around that sad Christmas tree.  The holidays can be a wonderful time of year, but sometimes it can be a time of stress and discontent, especially if you are a single parent.

Sharing Your Children During the Holidays

The hardest part of being a single mom (for me) is navigating the waters of time sharing with my ex husband. During mediation things went smoothly until we started trying to figure out visits and time sharing for the boys.   We were able to agree on the regular every day schedule but when it came to Thanksgiving and Christmas we hit a stalemate. After 45 minutes of going back and forth the mediation ended without a decision.  We did finally come to an agreement but I had to step away, pray and really think things through.

If you are in a situation where you are sharing your children during the holidays, I know that it can be a hard thing. We are used to having our families together for these special times, and it can be devastating when that doesn’t happen anymore. I have been that mom – sad, depressed and lonely without my sweet boys. It hurts, but there is hope. I want to share some suggestions that have worked for us and just encourage you not to lose your joy this holiday season.

Maintain the Status Quo

If at all possible try to keep your child’s holiday routine and traditions the same. I know that it may be difficult. For a long time I went through a time when I took my children to places where I was clearly not welcomed or wanted because I didn’t want them to miss out on time with their dad’s side of the family.  For birthdays and holidays I would show up with my boys and then retreat to a quiet corner in the room or sit outside on the porch while they enjoyed time with their cousins and grandparents. I kept this up until the day that I was called and told not to come over at all.

Compromise

If you cannot maintain the status quo, the next thing you need to try is compromise. Find the best way that you can to make sure that your children have time with all the important people their lives. Our compromise is for my boys to spend Thanksgiving morning and the first half of the afternoon with me and then the second half with their father.  For Christmas they spend the night on the 23rd with their dad and and then come home for church service on the 24th and we open our gifts on the 25th.

Make New Traditions

One thing that has been really helpful for us to make some new traditions. Show your children that you are still a family.  My boys and I started serving at a local homeless shelter during the holiday season.  I wasn’t sure at first that my little ones would do more than get in the way, but it has been a blessing to all of us. I got to see my boys working hard: helping with trash, handing out napkins, and helping with drinks.  I smiled as I watched my then 3 year walk from table to table telling people, “God loves you.”

Last year for the Christmas season I started an advent calendar with my boys. Each day from December 1-25 we would read a story book about the birth of Jesus.  They loved every minute of it. It was also a great way to help then countdown to the day that we would celebrate the birth of Christ and the day that they would get to spend the night with their dad.

Are you a single parent sharing your children during the holidays? How do you manage it? For you married moms how do you balance time with both sides of the family?