Valentine’s Day has always been a hard day for me. When my marriage started to crumble it became almost unbearable. Even now almost 4 years later the day is still hard. Watching couples gush over each other is hard. Seeing beautiful pregnant ladies is hard. Watching families playing together at the playground is hard. It’s hard all year round but there’s something about a day that supposed to be all about love that makes it harder.
Feel the pain but don’t wallow in self pity
What are we to do when our homes and hearts are broken and there’s love all around? Feel the pain. Anytime that you try to ignore that ache in your heart you are at risk of making some poor choices. I don’t know about you, but when I start trying to ignore the fact that I’m hurting I usually find myself in a sticky situation. A situation that always ends up with me in more pain than before I started.
You’ve got to feel the pain to get to the healing. But don’t throw yourself a pity party.
Forgive the person that’s causing you pain
Yes I know it’s the last thing that you want to do but you have to. The hardest thing that I’ve ever had to do was to forgive my ex for walking out on our family. But I had to do it or I was going to be no good to my children, my friends or anyone else that came across my path.
If you are at the point where you are in new relationships it may be a little tricky. You get your hopes tied up that maybe this man is the one, that maybe you’ll get it right this time. And then it doesn’t work out the way you expected. Maybe you both realize that it’s not a good fit. Maybe you decide that you just aren’t ready for a commitment yet. Or maybe, dear sister you find yourself ready to commit to someone else and they reject you.
Whatever the situation forgive. Every single time you think about that hurt they caused, forgive. Forgive them and then forgive yourself.
Remember that He loves you
My last piece of encouragement for you is to remember that He loves you. God loves you all the time no matter what. When your husband tells you that you aren’t pretty anymore, God says you are beautiful. When you feel worthless and unwanted remember that Jesus loved you so much that He died on the cross for you. When that person that you care about so much decides to betray and hurt you, God loves you. He loves you and will be there to pick up the pieces of your broken heart and make you whole again.
Have some fun
I know that getting through Valentine’s Day is hard, but one of the best ways to avoid overfocusing on our own pain is to focus on others. I do that by having fun with my boys on February 14th. Here are some suggestions for you:
- Watch A Charlie Brown Valentine
- Bake and decorate some heart shaped cookies
- Spend the day with some good friends
- Make some cards with your children and take an hour or so to deliver them personally
- Get all dressed up and take your children out for a meal or let them take you out (even you have to give them the money to do it)
If you are hurting today please leave a comment so I can pray with you. You don’t have to leave any details a simple “pray for me” will do.
~LaToya, Learning to Let HIM Lead