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Proverbs 25:11 says, “Right words spoken in the right time are like apples of gold in a silver setting.”
Have you ever struggled with controlling your tongue? I have. There are times when I think to myself, “I can’t believe I just said that out loud.” In fact, I’ve been on a personal journey of asking the Lord to really help me in this area for the past several years. Why? I hate to admit it, but I cringe when I think of all the thoughtless, and even unkind things I’ve said to my husband and my children over the years. I’ve corrected my husband, interrupted him, spoken over him… (yup, I’m can be just that amazing as a wife and mom.)
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But, praise God! His mercies are new to me every single morning! (And, come to think of it, my husband’s mercies have been new to me every morning as well.) God has given me an opportunity learn from my mistakes and a husband who patiently walks beside me and trusts that I love him, even when I don’t communicate with him as I should.
You see, the Bible tells us that out of the heart, the mouth speaks. Let me say that again. Nevermind. I’ll just share the verse here, as it’s so powerful, we should have it memorized:
Luke 6:45
45 A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.
It’s easy to talk a good talk when we want to, but the Bible is clear: we will be known by the words that we speak. This was so powerful to me because I want to be known for speaking good things—even when I’m frustrated and even when I see the kids didn’t do what I asked them to. The mouth speaks what the heart is full of.
I don’t know about you, but I’m so weary of finding out that the person I looked up to really is a not who he or she says she is. It’s easy to be kind and sweet to other moms while our own marriages suffer neglect or worse—fall apart at the seams. It’s easy to be kind to other people’s kids while we show the uglier side of ourselves to our own children.
Let’s commit to being being the real thing, busy moms. Let’s communicate good things to those who are closest to us first. If we’re not authentic at home, then all we’re really giving God with our lives is lip service. I don’t know about you, but I want to give Him more than lip service. I want to live and communicate in a way that shows my heart is full of Him, not me.
If you’re struggling in this area, remember, the bottom line of communication is not just using the right style; to get style down and miss the heart of communication is literally giving your marriage and family nothing more than lip service. Our husbands and kids deserve more than this!
Do you realize that your words provide an opportunity for you and for those around you to grow in their walk with God?
Authenticity starts at home. When we realize that our willingness to minister unconditionally to our family is part of successful family life, then we have found the best place to start.
Let’s give our families the best part of us—and then reach out to a world who is desperately in need of the real thing. It’s more than lip service. Always start at home. Out of the overflow of the heart—the mouth speaks … at home.
Start there,
So good!
Ugh, me too! Thanks for your honesty and authenticity!
Have done the same with my hubby and kids, need to do better! #abundantblessings
Just what I needed to read today. Thank you, Heidi!
This was for me today, thank you for sharing:)
I think this is one of the hardest things to “control” when things get heated, or you don’t feel you are being heard it is a “natural human” response to lash out at times… but thankful for the grace God gives and the ability to ask for forgiveness from the ones we have hurt and try again… I know it is something I struggle with…
I love how God confirms the things he is working on. Thank you for this post, Heidi. This was a major issue in our home this weekend and each of us committed to speak to each other with kindness and respect. It is encouraging to know that we are not alone in this. Thanks again!
Needed to hear this today!
Thank you❤
This was a great reminder. Thank you for posting this.
sounds just. like. me….:/ this sounds like a must read! was it Mother Teresa who said we must begin love in our homes…or something like that?
Amen. So so good.
Awesome, and I really needed this today…and a lot of other days too;-)
You are an awesome mother and wife! Any child would want you as their mother and any man would be blessed to have you as their wife!
As others have mentioned, thank you for your honesty. This is an area of my life I have struggled with too. I’m thankful the Lord has been working on me.
Been ther…often still there. For me this has been a lifelong journey in the Lord. Trying not to tip toe either. Trying to just rest in God’s peace and to pause when I am upset.
Doesn’t always work, but growing.
I was raised with the premise that you should never say anything that you may be sorry for later, you never say something to someone that could hurt their heart, because hearts break easily.
My husband was raised in a household where his mother was hateful and spiteful to him and his siblings, but kind and sweet to strangers and people at church. When she passed away her family was grateful that she died. Can you imagine having a legacy like that?!
Thank you for having the courage to share this!
I’m so glad I’m not the only Mom who struggles with this! It’s so hard to do!! Praise the Lord that I don’t have to do this in my own strength. Now if I’d just remember to consult Him before I speak. :/
Amén. God bless you Heidi! That is my situation too.
Just what I needed this morning. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for being real.
Thanks for this great post. This is something I struggle with too as I tend to be lacking in that most noble character trait — patience. Appreciate your sharing!
True story: you get what you give. Thanks for the reminder!
Love!!!
I had a hard time with this when I grew up and found out that parents arnt who we thought they were as children. Its hard to find out your super hero’s are merely humans in disguise.
I needed this not just to remind me to be careful with my words but also to encourage me that I’m not the only one who struggles in this area. Thanks!
Appreciate your ‘realness’ and your encouragement. I struggle with this.
Thank you for always being so transparent. It is reassuring to know we are not alone in our everyday struggles and challenges but we can continue make progress. Looking so forward to hearing you speak at homeschool convention. So thankful for positive women like yourself that God has provided us with. Keep up the good work Heidi.
“….we show the uglier side of ourselves to our children”. Wow you hit home with that. Thank you for the reminder.
If it where so easy, the whole world would pat you on the back and tell you how great of a job you are doing. There would be no negative feed back when your child made an error. Your husband would always love your every effort, even when you failed. And, God would not send you showers, or hail storms of changes daily. This is the journey of life. To remain as strong as the rock we rest our souls on, even when our bodies and minds struggle to face the challenges.
One last thought, all of our parents would be perfect guiding lights, not sinful drunkards, etc.
Exactly what I’m dealing with….