Oops.  I did it again.

Nagged. Corrected. Rolled my eyes. Sighed.

When will I ever learn?

I like to talk about marriage on Fridays.  But I won’t lie to you—I didn’t want to write about marriage this week. Life has been hard

these past few days.  It’s been a rough week for me and my beloved.  And when I say “beloved,” I’m serious.  This man I married, he is the other half of me.  The best half.  He’s the keel that keeps me and all my crazy ideas in orbit around planet earth. Without him, I’d be orbiting some other planet, no doubt. He soothes my anxious heart. He’s patient. He’s kind. He’s rock-solid and steady. People like him.  And, he thinks I’m hot. Goodness knows that after seven children and stretch marks that take up most of my torso, I need his affirmation.

Yes, he drives me crazy.  In all the good ways, and some of the bad.

I’m a “shoot and ask questions later” kind of woman.  Jay waits.  I say what I’m thinking. Jay’s quiet until he knows what he wants to say. (I could learn from that.)  Something that the Lord has been teaching me this week is that I am prone to correcting my husband when I should be quiet.  There. I said it.  Sorry if you think less of me. (The line is forming to the left.)

Lately, I’ve heard that “still small voice” a little bit louder. God is reminding me to affirm my husband. To love him. To let him lead. (Tough for a woman like me.) This morning, I had to chuckle as I was reading my Bible.  It was so funny in fact, that I snapped a picture of it.

Okay, okay. I get it.  But what really stood out to me was that last part: “To restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in ones’ right hand.”

Boy, that’s the truth.  Husbands are not to “control” their wives. Wives are to be self-controled. To be guided by the Holy Spirit. To love and respect their husbands.  Nagging is the opposite of respect, isn’t it?  Nagging says, “I don’t like the way you do this. Do it my way instead.” Nagging breeds resentment. I’ve been around nagging women.  Lord, help me to be more like you and less … like me.

Let’s face it. We need more of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Wonderful things happen when we allow Him to have His way. Self-control is a fruit of the spirit. It’s evidence that God is at work in my heart and that I’m listening.

If you’re struggling with self-control in this area, you’re not alone, believe me.  Let’s give it to the Lord and be the encouragers we were meant to be. The obvious beneficiary of a wife who does not nag is her husband, but I receive a blessing too.  The blessing that comes from learning when to speak and when to be quiet.  Our sons and daughters will be blessed by our example, too.

Be a blessing,

Good morning, busy moms! It’s HOME FIRES FRIDAY here at the Busy Mom! Woot!

I heard a funny thing yesterday from a mom who read a part (clearly she didn’t read the whole thing) of my book “The Busy Homeschool Mom’s Guide to Romance.” Somehow, she thought I was saying that loving your man physically was just “one more thing for wives to feel responsible for and feel guilty about.” Just one more “thing to do.”

Hmmm.

While that is definitely NOT the message of my book, it raises an interesting point. Marriage is not all fun-and-games, is it?  Let’s be honest. It’s work.  After a long, demanding day, even my husband’s desire for intimacy can feel like just one more thing I need to do.  I’d love to tell you that I always have a good attitude towards him in this area.  I don’t.  I think most busy moms can relate to the scenarios I wrote about in the book.  You certainly don’t have to be a homeschool mom to be a tired mom!

It’s easy for the demands of life to come between a husband and wife, isn’t it? My husband and I have had our moments, believe me.  With all the pressures we face, the first thing that can go when we’re tired and stressed is sex.

Here’s the thing though: a healthy marriage is key to a healthy, happy family. And nurturing intimacy in your marriage should be at the top of our priority list. Not because it’s a “duty” (although, the Bible tells husbands and wives that our bodies belong to one another) but because it’s good for us!  Our Creator knows what’s good for His creation!

It turns out that a healthy sex life is good for a lot of reasons, busy moms! Continue reading →