Good morning, busy moms! It’s HOME FIRES FRIDAY here at the Busy Mom! Woot!
I heard a funny thing yesterday from a mom who read a part (clearly she didn’t read the whole thing) of my book “The Busy Homeschool Mom’s Guide to Romance.” Somehow, she thought I was saying that loving your man physically was just “one more thing for wives to feel responsible for and feel guilty about.” Just one more “thing to do.”
While that is definitely NOT the message of my book, it raises an interesting point. Marriage is not all fun-and-games, is it? Let’s be honest. It’s work. After a long, demanding day, even my husband’s desire for intimacy can feel like just one more thing I need to do. I’d love to tell you that I always have a good attitude towards him in this area. I don’t. I think most busy moms can relate to the scenarios I wrote about in the book. You certainly don’t have to be a homeschool mom to be a tired mom!
It’s easy for the demands of life to come between a husband and wife, isn’t it? My husband and I have had our moments, believe me. With all the pressures we face, the first thing that can go when we’re tired and stressed is sex.
Here’s the thing though: a healthy marriage is key to a healthy, happy family. And nurturing intimacy in your marriage should be at the top of our priority list. Not because it’s a “duty” (although, the Bible tells husbands and wives that our bodies belong to one another) but because it’s good for us! Our Creator knows what’s good for His creation!
It turns out that a healthy sex life is good for a lot of reasons, busy moms!Here’s a list of reasons we should be enjoying sex in marriage—and this is just for starters:
—improved overall health
—boosts immunity to colds and other infections (no joke!)
—improves heart health
—helps your pelvic floor muscles (and who doesn’t need that after having kids, right?)
—you’ll sleep better. It’s a fact.
But here’s the best reason to keep the home fires burin’ in your bedroom: a regular sex life encourages deeper intimacy between a husband and wife. And marriage is all about intimacy. We live a culture that knows all about sex, but not about intimacy. We were designed for intimacy, and yet we struggle to make it a priority.
I say we make a commitment to being “That Girl” in bed with our husbands. Yeah, I said that. I wish that more married women were having honest discussions about sex because it’s just.that.important. Don’t believe me? Take a stroll through the grocery store checkout line and look at the magazine covers. Sex sells—and we sell ourselves short when we fail to see it in the context that God created it for.
Most men would say that sex is on their minds much of the day. That fits the theme of many conversations I’ve had with my married friends over the years. Most moms I talk to about this share that they can tell a big difference in how their husbands relate to them when they’re making an effort to meet his needs sexually. I’m not talking about tolerating his advances, either. I’m talking about inviting them. Love your husband in this way, and see if it doesn’t improve things between you. There is blessing to be found in a healthy sex life with your husband. Honestly? The more effort I put into my marriage in this area, the more blessing I have found in return! It’s true!
Don’t give the devil any chance to drive a wedge between you and that amazing man of yours. Don’t push this part of your relationship to the back burner. Enjoy it. Even after twenty-four years of marriage, I find that I still need to be reminded to value sex in marriage, and to pursue my husband—even in the bedroom.
A few of my favorite books on marriage and DVD that we love:
The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex: (And You Thought Bad Girls Have All the Fun) by Sheila Wray Gregoire
Love for a Lifetime: Building a Marriage That Will Go the Distance by Dr. James Dobson
The Love Dare by Alex and Stephen Kendrick
The Busy Homeschool Mom’s Guide to Romance by Heidi St. John (not just for homeschoolers!)
Intended for Pleasure: Sex Technique and Sexual Fulfillment in Christian Marriage by Dr. Ed and Gaye Wheat