Author Archives: Heidi St. John

About Heidi St. John

Heidi has been married to her husband Jay since 1989. Together they have seven children and three grandchildren! The St. Johns homeschooled their kids all the way through high school. Heidi is the the author of seven books, host of the popular podcast "Off the Bench," and the founder of MomStrong International, an online community of women learning God's Word and how to apply it to every day life. She and her husband Jay are also the founders of Firmly Planted Family and the Firmly Planted Homeschool Resource Center, located in Vancouver, Washington.

Heidi St. John’s Favorite Chicken – Stock Up and SAVE

Don’t Make Me Come Up There—And Other Things I Yelled Last Week

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Do you have grumpy children? Me too. The other day, my four year old daughter glared at me. I glared back. We had a stare-down. Yeah. That’s my maturity level sometimes. Honestly? I was just out of grace. I was tired.

The spring sun was shining through the windows, but instead of seeing the sunshine, I saw grime that needed to be cleaned. Fingerprints. Dirt. I looked around me. The kitchen looked like a bomb had gone off under the sink—and dishes, like shrapnel had exploded all over the place. There were dishes in family room, in the office and even on the stairs. I started to clean the mess up, but as I cleaned, my attitude worsened. The kitchen laundry hamper was full of kitchen towels. Schoolbooks were strewn across the kitchen table and someone’s newly acquired newt had taken residence on top of the piano.

I’d love to tell you that I acted perfectly, but I didn’t. I freaked out. I called a meeting. Okay. Not really. I yelled for the kids. “Kids!! Get down here!!” I waited. Nothing. I yelled louder. “Don’t make me come up there!”

In a few minutes, four pairs of eyes were staring at me from the couch. I laid it out so that they would be sure to understand.

“How many times to I have to tell you?? Dishes go here, not there! Look at the family room! It’s a mess! Schoolbooks go back on the shelf! What’s wrong with you??”

They trudged to their assigned chores, whining and complaining.

… “and STOP COMPLAINING!” I wailed.

Probably not my best parenting moment.

It hit me that evening after I put the kids to bed. Weary and discouraged, I had forgotten how truly blessed I was. In so many ways, mothers set the tone at home, and I know it! I speak on this topic all the time, and I was setting the tone alright, but it wasn’t a very nice one. I was being selfish and ungrateful.

There I was, expecting them to help out around the house and not complain—but I was complaining.

I was expecting the kids to joyfully obey me—but I was not joyfully obeying my Father.

If we want our children to be joyful, we need to be joyful. The example starts with us. We light the way for little feet to walk behind us. We can’t give our kids what we don’t have. And while bad days don’t make bad moms, consistent complaining and grumbling will not bring about the righteousness of God that you are trying to instill into your kids.

We need the Lord do to this parenting thing right. Don’t forget to keep drawing from well that will never run dry, busy mom! You can do all things—even hard things—through Christ who gives you everything you need.

Dear USA Presbyterian Church: Read Your Bible

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Years ago, when I was a student at Multnomah University, I had the privilege of sitting under the teaching of Dr. John G. Mitchell. He always used to say, “Don’t you folks ever read your Bibles?” I wish he was still here. He died in 1990 at the age of 97, but I heard him enough to get the message: we need to read and know our Bibles if we’re going to live for Christ in this world.

I am troubled by something I see happening in our churches. Christians, the people who bear the name and image of God, are trending away from the truth of God’s Word and careening toward fear-based living. This generation of Christians is in a full-blown spiritual crisis. We’re listening to everyone but God. We’re not reading our Bibles.

Don’t believe me? Look no further than the USA Presbyterian church (not to be confused with the PCA.) Last week, millions watched as it finally caved into cultural and political peer pressure and fear, turning a blind eye to the Word of God and declaring that God is cool with homosexuality—when His Word, the Bible, clearly states the opposite. And they’re not alone: just weeks ago, controversial former pastor Rob Bell flat out told Oprah Winfrey that the church is “moments away from embracing” gay marriage.

Ummmm. Mr. Bell. Read your Bible. You’re making emotional arguments for spiritual problems. God says this is a sin issue. It’s not up for emotional debate. This is an issue for God alone to decide. And please. Don’t speak for the the Church. (Big “C” here.)

Brother and sisters, read your Bibles! God is not silent on the issues we are facing today. God’s view on sexual sin, including homosexuality, can be clearly seen in the Bible: Romans 1:24-27 Lev 20:13, Leviticus 18:22

While we cannot (and should not) expect the world to understand or apply God’s Word to their lives— surely we can and should expect those who claim the name of Jesus Christ to live by God’s standard. The USA Presbyterian church, in sanctioning homosexuality, is in sin. They’re not reading their Bibles.

Romans 8:5-8 tells us that when we live by our flesh, we have our minds on what our flesh desires. Denominations like the USA Presbyterian church are doing nothing short of granting a license to live by the flesh, which is the opposite of living by the Spirit.

We are living in a world that is full of fearful, spiritually immature Christians. Rather than learn to rightly apply God’s word to our lives, have chosen to “go with the flow” of the culture and remain “Christian” in name only. We have bought into religion instead living in right relationship with Jesus. We have allowed sin to run rampant in our churches and have become complacent—an overcorrection from the equally damaging legalism and hyper-judging we’ve engaged in for years.

It’s fear that drives Christian pastors to accept homosexuality and fail to protect the unborn. It’s fear that keeps Christian men and women from speaking the truth in love. Fear drives “Christians” to hold hateful signs on street corners. Fear says, “God hates homosexuals,” when in fact, He loves them! Fear whispers, “It doesn’t matter. God doesn’t care,” and the fearful Christian leans in to listen, either unaware of the price God paid for His freedom or unwilling to obey the call of the cross. Fear is not from God.

We must return to the Word of God. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7

Power. A sound mind—and love. Yes, we can speak the truth in love. The truth and love are not mutually exclusive. In God’s economy, they’re one in the same.

It was love that caused a holy God to send His only son as a ransom for mankind. It was love that drove Jesus to talk that long walk to the cross. What message are we sending to our children when we disregard the truth of God’s Word? We cheapen the message of the cross when we live in disobedience to the Bible. We mock the One who gave His life for us when we decide to turn a blind eye to sin.

Dear Christian, you have the mind of Christ. You can know His will for your life!

Our lack of Biblical knowledge has made us impotent in the spiritual battle we are facing. We want the love of God, but not the sacrifice it takes to walk rightly with Him, and the USA Presbyterian Church is a perfect example of this. It’s time to get back to reading—and living out—the Word of God. And yes. Standing up for what’s right may cost you, but in the end, we answer to a holy God, not people. We need to do a better job of loving people like God loves them.

Christian parents need to teach their children how to live in the world and not be "of" it.

Christian mom, let me ask you—are you teaching your children about God’s love? About His standard? About sin?

God’s Word should change people, not the other way around.

Read your Bibles, women of God! Let love transform you—and then speak the truth in love.
You can do it. You have the power of Christ in you!

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Resources for today’s podcast:

New Morning Mercies by Paul David Tripp

Mornings can be tough. Sometimes, a hearty breakfast and strong cup of coffee just aren’t enough. Offering more than a rush of caffeine, best-selling author Paul David Tripp wants to energize you with the most potent encouragement imaginable: the gospel.

Forget “behavior modification” or feel-good aphorisms. Tripp knows that what we really need is an encounter with the living God. Then we’ll be prepared to trust in God’s goodness, rely on his grace, and live for his glory each and every day.

Only God Can Make a Kitten by Rhonda Greene

Only God Can Make A Kitten, written by award-winning author Rhonda Gowler Greene and illustrated by bestselling artist Laura J. Bryant, follows a conversation between a mother and child as the child repeatedly asks “Mama, who made . . . ?” In the end, children learn that God is responsible for everything in creation—including kittens!

Follow Me: A Call to Die. A Call to Live. by David Platt and Francis Chan

In this new book, David Platt, author of the New York Times bestselling book, Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream, contends that multitudes of people around the world culturally think they are Christians yet biblically are not followers of Christ.

Soul Detox: Clean Living in a Contaminated World by Craig Groeschel

As standards of conduct continue to erode in our shock-proof world, we must fight the soul pollution threatening our health, our faith, and our witness to others. Without even knowing it, people willingly inhale second-hand toxins poisoning their relationship with God and stunting their spiritual growth.

Soul Detox examines the toxins that assault us daily including: toxic influences, toxic emotions, and toxic behaviors.

By examining the toxins that assault us daily, this book offers the ultimate spiritual intervention with ways to remain clean, pure, and focused on the standard of God’s holiness.

The Christian Atheist: Believing in God but Living As If He Doesn’t Exist Craig Groeschel

“The more I looked, the more I found Christian Atheists everywhere.” Former Christian Atheist Craig Groeschel knows his subject all too well. After over a decade of successful ministry, he had to make a painful self admission: although he believed in God, he was leading his church like God didn’t exist. To Christians and non-Christians alike, to the churched and the unchurched, the journey leading up to Groeschel’s admission and the journey that follows—from his family and his upbringing to the lackluster and even diametrically opposed expressions of faith he encountered—will look and sound like the story of their own lives.

Dear “Anonymous,” I Was That Mom

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I received an email from “Anonymous” tonight. She writes:

“I am not sure I want to be a parent some days, much less homeschool. I am very confused…after talking to one mom I want to homeschool, then after talking to one mom I want to do public school again. I am trying to teach my kids using Abeka, but I got very far behind and now am overwhelmed at how much they have missed. I think they are too far behind to be put into public school. I feel horrible that my 5 year old is missing kindergarten and making regular friends. We belong to a church group that meets on Thursdays. It isn’t the same as everyday friends. I am at the end of my rope. Confused, not knowing the right thing to do. I have been praying but don’t see an answer.”

You know, sometimes, I wish there was a giant coffee shop where we could all meet once a week. Because if we could meet once a week, I think we would discover that our struggles are very similar. Even though we live in different circumstances and have unique families, our struggles are common struggles.

Motherhood is challenging. Homeschooling adds a new level to that challenge. I’d love to tell you that there are “5 Easy Steps” to homeschooling or “5 Ways to KNOW” you’ve made the right decision, but there aren’t. However, I can tell you a few things that the Lord has been patiently teaching me over 22 years of parenting. Here are a few of them:

—My family does NOT have to look like ANYONE ELSE’S family. Period. Not in curriculum. Not in parenting. Not in style of dress. Not in the way we eat. We were a unique family. This realization has brought me much freedom—and it is a constant reminder to me of the need I have to be on my knees before the Lord in prayer.

It’s a daily surrender. Sometimes, I must wait for an answer. It rarely comes quickly.

—Whenever I feel “horrible” about a social situation (for example, I might wonder about my children missing out on ‘regular’ school or missing out on a movie that another of their peers was allowed to watch), then it is a sure sign that I am being motivated by guilt rather than being led by the Spirit.

Yes, we need to change our minds sometimes. But more often than not, this “mommy guilt” is simply unnecessary emotional tyranny. Whenever I am not nourishing my spirit, I open myself up it. Busy mom, give yourself time to think and pray when you feel this tug. Often, a conversation with your husband and time with the Lord will give you the peace you are seeking.

—Curriculum can be a terrible task-master. By this, I mean that if our curriculum is pushing us so hard that we can’t enjoy the learning process, it’s probably time to find another curriculum, or seek to modify the one we are using. Some moms flourish under curricula like the one you mention. Others have found that a different approach suits them better. Be open to a new approach.

Remember, you’re never as “far behind” as you think you are. Breathe. Your worst day of teaching at home is likely better than you judge it to be. Your investment will go farther than you think it will. It will have an impact for eternity. So slow down. Build relationships with your children, especially while they are young. It is foundational to who they are going to become.

—Homeschooling should not make you an island. Find a homeschool co-op or support group. If your church does not have a support system for you, consider finding one that does. We NEED each other. Period. Find your people.

—The growing years are short. Five-year-olds need their mom more than they need a social network. I’m not suggesting that they don’t need friends; far from it! Rather, I’m suggesting that YOU need friends, too. Find moms who have children of similar ages. Plan play dates and go to the library and zoo together. This will give you and your child a social outlet.

Finally, plant with the harvest in mind. What do you want to see in your adult children? I know it’s hard to imagine at this stage, but in just a few short years, if you persevere, you will be encouraging a mom who is where you are right now.

I know. I was that mom.

The best homeschooling advice I ever received from another mom had very little to do with an action. It was about an attitude. She encouraged me to be confident in who God has called me to be.

So let me encourage you: Be real. Love your kids. Teach them. Be flexible. Be honest. Find support. Trust that the results of the investment you are making will be worth the sacrifice. And then, commit yourself to becoming the wife and mother you were created to be.

Be encouraged! You can do it. You’ve already been equipped.

In Psalm 16, verse 8, David writes, “I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.”

This is the key. If you know that God has called you to homeschool your children, then He has already equipped you for the job. Don’t be shaken. Keep trusting. You’re His, and He’ll never let you go.

3 Reasons NOT to Homeschool … and A Few Reasons Why We Decided to Give It a Try

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Homeschooling is a wonderful form of education. I love it. (Well, not always.) But here are few reasons you might *not* want to do it:

First Reason You May Not Want To Homeschool

You’re homeschooling out of fear. I meet parents all the time who are pulling their children out of school because they’re afraid. Afraid that their kids will be influenced by the world. Afraid that their kids will walk away from their faith, afraid of any number of scenarios that they feel homeschooling can prevent. If fear is driving you, I want to encourage you to spend some time in prayer.

God’s Word is very clear: fear is NOT from God.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.”
2 Timothy 1:7

“The LORD is my light and my salvation– whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life– of whom shall I be afraid?”
Ps. 27:1

I love this because it makes it very clear that the LORD is our salvation—not homeschooling. Homeschooling will not keep your children from walking away from the Lord. A strong, personal walk with God is what does that.

Many parents choose curriculum out of fear, to the point of exasperating their children and becoming hostage to another’s expectations rather than letting the Lord direct them to what is best for their child. In this way, we sometimes let fear drive us without even realizing it.

How can we know if we’re acting out of fear or faith? Ask yourself: if the Lord asked you to stop homeschooling, would you trust Him to protect and guide you? To give you insight into the heart and mind of your child? Or would you be afraid?

Second Reason You May Not Want To Homeschool

You think homeschooling is easier than other options

I’ve been homeschooling for 18 years. It might surprise you to know that many of those years have been less than idyllic. Some of them have been downright difficult. Strong-willed children, learning hurdles, exhaustion, illness, and burnout have all been part of our homeschool at one time or another. Would I change it? Not on your life. I gotta tell you though— it has been anything but “easy.”

Third Reason You May Not Want To Homeschool

You think homeschooling is “the answer” to the problems this generation is facing

I love homeschooling. I think it’s one of the best things we (Jay and I) have ever done for our kids—but. It’s not “the answer.”

We keep our children home because we believe it’s the best thing for our family, but we know that homeschooling in and of itself will not solve the problems we’re facing in this generation. The answer is Jesus. This weekend, I’ll be urging parents to stop waving the banner of homeschooling, and lift high the banner of Jesus Christ. Some may trust in horses (or homeschooling, or the government, or ourselves) but we (the children of God) trust in the name of the Lord! (My little paraphrase of Psalm 20:7)

So, why do my husband and I choose to homeschool our children?

There are several things that come to mind but our top three reasons are these:

First Reason We Choose To Homeschool

We don’t believe that education is neutral—or benign.

Education is the imparting of ideas and yes, even ideologies to a student. As parents, my husband and I feel a keen sense of responsibility to make sure that we know not only what, but who—is influencing our children.Luke 6:40 tells us that “a student is not above his teacher,” and that ultimately, the student will become like his teacher. That’s a huge responsibility—telling parents that their children are going to a lot like whoever teaches them. Knowing this also gives me a very healthy respect for my role as a mother—because the chances are good that my kids are going to be an awful lot like … you guessed it … me.

Second Reason We Choose To Homeschool

We want to be the primary influencers in the lives of our children.

We’re not under any illusions that homeschooling will keep our children from making unwise decisions—but we believe homeschooling our children gives us much more influence in their lives as grow into adulthood.Why? Because it allows us time. Time to talk with our children about the things that we believe matter the most. Over the years, we’ve taken our kids to places like Washington D.C. so that they could see our Constitution and the Magna Carta.

We’ve been to courthouses and walked the halls of the senate building. Why? Because we can. Homeschooling has allowed us to take the education of our children to heart—and has allowed us to make a significant investment into their lives.Sooner or later, all of our children will be making investments into the lives of their own children—and we hope we’re setting a good example for them!

Third Reason We Choose To Homeschool

We love being with our kids.

From newborns through young adults, we just love being with our kids. Homeschooling has allowed us to take advantage of “last minute” field trips and capitalize on many truly teachable moments with them because we’re not bound to anyone’s schedule except our own.

Last week, we were reading Minn of the Mississippi, and the kids were struggling to understand the lock and dam system described in this timeless story of a snapping turtle who traveled from the Great Lakes to the Gulf of Mexico. Because we homeschool, I was able to make a last-minute decision to stop “school” for the day and in favor of some hands-on learning. I took the kids to Bonneville Dam. Going to Bonneville helped bring the story of Minn to life—and gave our kids the chance to be part of the story, rather than just hear it.

In the end, every parent is responsible for the education of their children—whether or not they choose to homeschool. Rather than judge another person’s choice, I hope we will do a better job of praying for each other. There’s a lot at stake where education is concerned, and we need to get it right—one prayerful, trusting family at a time.

Shop Heidi’s Amazon Store for Homeschool resources, recommendations, and more!

The Best Slow Cooked Pot Roast {ever}

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So well… here’s the thing: if 4pm comes at my house and I don’t have a plan for dinner, I get cranky. Nevermind that my husband gets “hangry” around 5:30 p.m. IYKWIM. Put cranky and hangry together in the same house with a bunch of kids—and you can see why I need a plan for dinner.

As I’ve said before a million times: I think crockpots are a busy mom’s best friend. You can avoid the 4pm emotional breakdown by simply having a PLAN before you need to have a meal.

This pot roast has been in my slow cooker many, many times in the past 30 years I’ve been married to my man—and now my girls are making it for their friends and family! (Win!) It’s inexpensive and delicious… it’s the best slow cooked pot roast ever. Enjoy!

You’ll need:

One 4-6 pound lean boneless beef chuck pot roast (tied)
2 cans diced tomatoes
1 spoonful of beef bouillon (I love “Better than Bouillon“) – enough for 2 cups liquid
1/2 cup boiling water
2 cups red wine
packet of leek soup mix (from Knorr, if you can find it) I keep these in my pantry at.all.times.
2 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce (or more if you like)
2 Tbsp minced garlic (that’s about 8 cloves if you like it fresh)
1 tsp each
- thyme
- marjoram
- rosemary
carrots – enough to cover the pot roast, cut into chunks
3 med/large parsnips – these are GREAT in this roast! Cut them up into chunks

Directions:

Dissolve bouillon in boiling water. I like to put a spoonful of the bouillon into a coffee mug and just let it sit there. While you’re waiting for it to dissolve, put leek soup mix, garlic, tomatoes, wine—just put it all in except the meat and veggies. Pour bouillon in and mix together.
Add meat, turning to coat with the liquid
Arrange veggies around the roast. Cover.

Cover and cook for 9-11 hours on low or until fork-tender.

Remove meat to cutting board
Leave the rest in cooker; set to high… you’re going to make gravy!
Whisk 6 Tbsp flour into 1/2 cup of cold water. I use my bullet to do this now-a-days (five stars!)
Stir flour mixture into liquid—with 2 tsp tarragon if you have it (yum!) and some more red wine if you like that sort of flavor. We think it’s amazing. Cover and cook for about ten minutes, until thickened.
Place meat onto a serving platter and spoon some gravy over it to serve.

I hope you love this as much as my family does!

Enjoy!
P.S. – Would you like more ideas for managing your busy days, including meal planning? Check out my book!

I Have Spit-up in My Shoes—and Other Truths About Motherhood

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There was a time in my life when I thought I had motherhood “figured out.” I think I was in my early twenties. I’m almost sure I had one compliant child as I confidently eyed the course before me.

I was about to high-five myself when the smoke alarm went off in the kitchen. I had been in the bathroom cutting the two-year old’s bangs and apparently, forgot dinner was in the oven. Turning my attention to the smoke-filled kitchen, I left the toddler unattended and —you guessed it—she finished cutting her hair while I was putting a ruined casserole in the sink to cool.

Above the noise of the smoke detector, I heard my daughter’s voice: “Mommy! I’ve made myself more pretty!” Quickly, I turned the box fan on high, opened the doors in the house to air in out and raced back to the bathroom just in time to see the last gorgeous blonde locks of hair falling to the floor.

That’s when I started thinking that maybe, just maybe this motherhood gig was going to be trickier than I imagined. Continue reading →