Tag Archives: Christmas

The Nightmare Before Christmas

‘Tis the season of Joy and happiness. A time where the country is transformed into bows, presents and special movies that make us smile. Holiday decorations come down from the attic and more memories are made.

But for some, this time of year is a nightmare.

The warmth of the season brings back the pain and memories of what was lost. It brings to light the reality of their current circumstances and the pain becomes all to real again.

This year, God has been working on my heart like never before. I have an unexplained excitement about this Christmas year… But not about the shopping and sparkle that surrounds us.

See, the very first Christmas seemed small at the time. Another baby was born.. Unknown by many, in a dirty manger on a cold night. No facebook announcements or Instagram pictures to celebrate with friends around the world. I’m sure as a little girl, Mary didn’t envision an engagement filled with scandal, horseback riding in the 3rd trimester and a labor among cattle. But like so many of us have figured out…. such is life right?

For some, we have learned to roll with the punches and for others, they are too broken to get up anymore. Like Mary and Joseph, the life they envisioned and planned for so long, is but a distant daydream… and what they are left with just makes no sense.

So why am I excited?? Why would such sour news bring a smile to my face?

Because this time of year more than EVER, is a time to seek after the JOY that we have been promised. But, not only to seek after it, but to SHOW it to others. TELL them that although the winds of change have thrown you into the sewers, you are never ever out of God’s grasp…

“He will cover you with His feathers, and under his wing you will find refuge.” Psalm 91:4

God sent His ONE son into a world that wanted to kill and destroy him from the start. He was born into a world ready to devour him just to give us LIFE. To give us JOY. A future we can never imagine!

THAT my dear friends is CHRIST-mas…. The GOOD news. The reason we celebrate. Not because life happened to be good to us one year, not because of our current circumstances…

But because no matter WHERE we are in life, WHAT is happening to us, WHO we lost, WHO we love….

JESUS CAME TO SAVE! HE CAME TO LOVE and He came to give us JOY!

Busy moms, life is tough. And life doesn’t always work out the way we planned. But hold on tight to the one that holds tomorrow.

On that dark night in Bethlehem, as Mary rocked baby Jesus to sleep, I am sure she wondered WHAT God was thinking…. really?? A BARN??? After spending days on horseback and giving birth in a dirty haystack. Could life get any worse???

At that moment, She couldn’t see the bigger picture. As Joseph was kicking the cows away so they had room to sleep, She didn’t know how beautifully God would turn that story around. That “Fateful” night would turn into something GLORIOUS!

Because that’s the beauty of God.

That’s why we trust Him…

Because HE weaves our story…

He is the Mighty God and the Prince of Peace… and all we have to do is trust him.

I challenge you today, no matter what is going on in your life, to look UP! Seek Him during this season… and celebrate.

God’s got this!

Merry Christmas my friends

XOXO

Finding Peace in the Chaos of Christmas

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It’s the most wonderful time of year!

It is wonderful. I love Christmas. Yet, if I’m not careful, I’ve had many Christmases as a mom where I have been so stressed and overwhelmed that I have missed out on the wonderful part. It takes a lot of intentional focus and redirection for me to have peace in the chaos of Christmas. But, I’m thankful that I’ve learned, after several years mind you, that if I am intentional, the peace is there.

So, how do we find peace in the chaos of Christmas?

The biggest thing that helps me to find peace in all the chaos surrounding Christmas is to remind myself of this all-encompassing truth:

Peace is a Person. His name is Jesus.

When I turn my eyes to Jesus, just as the old hymn goes, the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace. Turning my eyes to Him helps my heart to slow down, remember what is important and focus on the real reason we are celebrating.

So, just how to we turn our eyes upon Jesus during this crazy time of year?

Just say no. Yes, just say no to MORE than half of the opportunities coming your way this December. I promise, you can do this. If I – a recovering people pleaser – can do it, you can too!
Make sure that the activities you DO plan on, are helping you and your children to focus on Him. Choose wisely.
Spend time daily with your children in prayer, devotion and reading books that draw you to the CHRIST in Christmas.
Serve others. Nothing makes me happier at Christmas time than to see my children doing for OTHERS.
Spend quiet evenings with the tree lit, reading the Christmas story together. Sing Christmas carols.
Continue that thankful tree you started back in October or November. Not only does it help my children to count their blessings (and not their wish lists,) but it helps me to refocus as well!

If you have done all you can do practically speaking to not have a chaotic December and you still feel yourself becoming overwhelmed, I want to remind you that there is power in the name of Jesus. Call out to Him. Really. I’m not trying to be hokey. In the moments of despair, call out to Him. In the moments of chaos and complete overwhelming stress, call out to Him. Say His Name. There is power, peace and freedom to be found in the name of Jesus.

In closing I want to share one favorite Scripture passage that gives us great insight into finding that elusive peace we so long for!

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

Busy moms, this Christmas season, I pray that each of us can truly find peace in the person of Jesus this year! This passage in Philippians tells us that PRAYER brings PEACE. Did you catch that? Don’t be anxious, but instead bring it all to God. When you bring it all to God, then THE PEACE OF GOD will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus! This December, let’s make it our aim to spend more time on our knees and less time in the chaos.

Sharing Your Children During the Holidays

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The holidays can be a wonderful time of the year. There’s a lot of fellowship and family time with big family dinners and delicious desserts. I have fond memories of crowding in front of the television to look for Snoopy in the Thanksgiving Parade. And I waited all year long to watch Charlie Brown and his friends gather around that sad Christmas tree. The holidays can be a wonderful time of year, but sometimes it can be a time of stress and discontent, especially if you are a single parent.

The hardest part of being a single mom (for me) is navigating the waters of time sharing with my ex husband. During mediation things went smoothly until we started trying to figure out visits and time sharing for the boys. We were able to agree on the regular every day schedule but when it came to Thanksgiving and Christmas we hit a stalemate. After 45 minutes of going back and forth the mediation ended without a decision. We did finally come to an agreement but I had to step away, pray and really think things through.

If you are in a situation where you are sharing your children during the holidays, I know that it can be a hard thing. We are used to having our families together for these special times, and it can be devastating when that doesn’t happen anymore. I have been that mom – sad, depressed and lonely without my sweet boys. It hurts, but there is hope. I want to share some suggestions that have worked for us and just encourage you not to lose your joy this holiday season.

Maintain the Status Quo

If at all possible try to keep your child’s holiday routine and traditions the same. I know that it may be difficult. For a long time I went through a time when I took my children to places where I was clearly not welcomed or wanted because I didn’t want them to miss out on time with their dad’s side of the family. For birthdays and holidays I would show up with my boys and then retreat to a quiet corner in the room or sit outside on the porch while they enjoyed time with their cousins and grandparents. I kept this up until the day that I was called and told not to come over at all.

Compromise

If you cannot maintain the status quo, the next thing you need to try is compromise. Find the best way that you can to make sure that your children have time with all the important people their lives. Our compromise is for my boys to spend Thanksgiving morning and the first half of the afternoon with me and then the second half with their father. For Christmas they spend the night on the 23rd with their dad and and then come home for church service on the 24th and we open our gifts on the 25th.

Make New Traditions

One thing that has been really helpful for us to make some new traditions. Show your children that you are still a family. My boys and I started serving at a local homeless shelter during the holiday season. I wasn’t sure at first that my little ones would do more than get in the way, but it has been a blessing to all of us. I got to see my boys working hard: helping with trash, handing out napkins, and helping with drinks. I smiled as I watched my then 3 year walk from table to table telling people, “God loves you.”

Last year for the Christmas season I started an advent calendar with my boys. Each day from December 1-25 we would read a story book about the birth of Jesus. They loved every minute of it. It was also a great way to help then countdown to the day that we would celebrate the birth of Christ and the day that they would get to spend the night with their dad.

Are you a single parent sharing your children during the holidays? How do you manage it? For you married moms how do you balance time with both sides of the family?

Tips for Homeschooling Through the Holidays

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I’m not sure when I went from enjoying and anticipating the holidays to gradually tolerating and even dreading them.

It was probably some time after birthing and starting to homeschool eight children, running a home, serving at church and helping my entrepreneurial husband with his multitude of business ideas. I imagine that I am not alone in this lack of enthusiasm. It is easy to get anxious about the holidays when you consider all of the extras that will be added to your already overflowing plate with shopping, cooking, wrapping, and social commitments.

As a busy mom of many, one verse that I memorized, internalized and clung to from the early days is where Jesus said in Matthew 11:30,

“For my yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

Which leaves a harried and overburdened soul with one simple conclusion… I must be carrying someone else’s load!

Tips for Homeschooling Through the Holidays

Pray
I suppose it is more natural in our humanness to look around for cues as to what to do with our families during the holiday season. If everyone else is doing it and appearing to enjoy it, maybe we should do it too. By praying about our family’s holiday celebrations, gift-giving, calendar and school schedule our family has been led to celebrate in lots of different ways. Some years we have continued schooling along with the public school schedule, other years we have taken off from Thanksgiving through the new year. Some years we have entertained, other years we have taken a family get away to the local mountains for some peace and quiet. Although at times we wondered about our decisions, in the end we were always blessed to seek and follow God’s promptings.

Relax
For many of us coming out of the public school system, there is a process of letting go of the school-at-home mentality. It makes us anxious to take a break from formal schooling for four weeks. In our home, we have settled on a small amount of core schooling (mainly math and phonics) during the holidays. We fill the rest of our days with read alouds, service opportunities, baking, crafting, shopping, letter writing and what ever else God lays on our hearts. For example, every year our family makes a calendar for our business clients. The kids help choose the photos, the layout and the captions. We have made homemade gifts and ornaments by searching online for ideas and choosing the ones that would apeal to our friends and families. The kids are busy baking and planning and wrapping – thinking of others and how to be a blessing. Moms who know will tell that building life skills and learning to serve as a family are just as important as academic skills.

Still worried about falling behind? Maybe it will encourage you to remember that the public schools have a lighter load during the holidays as well, often having holiday concerts, class parties, field trips as well as taking two or more weeks off. Don’t underestimate the power of working and playing together to prepare for the holidays. Holiday preparations are some of our children’s’ most memorable experiences of homeschooling.

Reflect
Taking time at the end of the year to reflect on the ups and downs your family has experienced can be a great way to refresh your vision and goals for your family. If you have never taken the time to create a family homeschool mission statement, you may want to do so now. A quick Google search will provide many ideas for simple ways to document your vision for your family.

Traditions
There is great value in fostering family traditions. They provide our kids with a strong sense of family identity, values, and generate wonderful memories.

Rather than have this become one more thing on your plate, consider simple things that you can do that don’t require great time or expense. Is there a special food your family can look forward to? Maybe you watch a classic Christmas movie together as a family each year. One thing our family does every year is to bake mountains of gingerbread cookies and invite the neighborhood kids over for a decorating fest. Easy, inexpensive and, really, who doesn’t like to decorate {and eat} a cookie or two?

Flexibility
Ask any veteran homeschool mom about planning for the holidays and the first thing she will tell you is to remain flexible. Every year is different. Every family is different. There will be illness, financial strains, family struggles, and any number of other variables to get in the way of your idea of a perfect holiday celebration. Don’t let these things trip you up and steal your joy. God uses these struggles to grow you and your children. As your children see you seeking God and finding peace in the storm, they will learn a lesson far more valuable than any traditional school subject.

Don’t let friends, family, your church or even your textbooks dictate how you will celebrate the holidays with your family. Ask God how He wants you to celebrate and let go of the rest.

Fall Family Project: Care Packages for Our Troops

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As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. (1 Peter 4:10-11 ESV)

With the advent of the autumn season comes much opportunity to reflect upon the blessings God has bestowed upon us. Along with the more obvious day of gratitude, Thanksgiving Day, comes a lesser celebrated day, Veteran’s Day.

November 11, Veteran’s Day, is the one day set aside each year to honor the patriotism, love of country, and sacrifice of all those who have served in the Armed Forces of the U.S., including those currently serving. For several years now, our family has attempted to repay that service in a very small way — by sending care packages to our troops.

This small token of gratitude is amazingly meaningful to those who have received our simple gifts. When you’re far away from home and those you love, it doesn’t take much to make your day. A box of toiletries, a pair of socks, some much coveted beef jerky — things most of us pass by on our weekly grocery store visits — become priceless treasures to those living in less than desirable conditions.

Today, I want to help your family serve in this way as well, by sharing three different themed care packages that can be easily assembled for about the cost of an average family’s trip to a fast food restaurant, as well as some tips for sending care packages to our troops.

What do I need to know about shipping care packages?

I’m glad you asked, because there are a few things you need to know, including some hard and fast rules about sending care packages.

No obscene or pornographic articles are permitted (prints, cards, DVDs, etc).
Non-authorized political materials are not permitted.
Bulk quantities of religious material contrary to Islam are not permitted (items for personal use are allowed).
Pork or pork by-products are not permitted.
Each care package mailed must be accompanied by the customs form found here. Be sure you read the instructions for how to complete the form properly. Any errors and your care package may not be delivered.
My personal preference for packaging is the large Priority Mail flat rate box. The shipping rate for this box is $16.85 no matter how heavy it is, and the post office will discount that to $13.30 for boxes going to an APO/FPO address. The boxes are free for the taking at your local branch of the USPS or you can order them online here.
Chocolate should not be included in care packages, especially during the hot summer months.
Shop at your local dollar store. We were able to fill two boxes of toiletries for less than $40. Our food box was more expensive because we needed to head to the grocery store for much of the food. That box came to about $35. Still that’s three care packages for $75, or an average of $25 each. Many families will spend $25 driving through a fast-food restaurant!
Don’t send homemade food items. Shipping times may be delayed, and these foods could spoil.
Place anything liquid (shampoo, body wash, etc.) into plastic zipper bags in case they spill.

What items should I include?

Generally speaking, you should choose a theme for your care package — toiletries, food, or entertainment. There can be some crossover between the three, but for the most part, boxes that contain toiletries should not also contain food. I find it much easier to pack according to theme. For this Veteran’s Day, we chose to pack 2 boxes with toiletries (one for a man, and one for a woman) and 1 box of food items. Below are list of items you might consider including for each box.

Toiletries Care Package

Deodorant
Shampoo and conditioner
Bar soap
Body wash
Hand lotion
Toothbrushes
Toothpaste
Dental floss
Razors
Shaving cream
Hand sanitizer
Lip balm
Baby wipes
Foot powders
Feminine hygiene products
Tissues
Sunblock
Bug spray
Over-the-counter pain relievers
Socks (cotton or wool)

Food Care Package

Tuna in foil packs
Ramen noodles
Canned or dried fruits
Sunflower seeds
Roasted nuts
Beef jerky
Instant coffee, herbal teas, hot chocolate
Drink powders, such as Gatorade, Tang, Crystal Light
Protein powders
Granola bars/Power bars
Instant oatmeal packs
Trail mix
Peanut butter
Cheese/peanut butter crackers
Individual boxes cereal
Cookies
Gum/Mints
Hard candies

Entertainment Care Package

Card games
Travel games
Personal CD player (don’t forget the batteries!)
CDs
DVDs
Video games
Small Nerf balls
Frisbees
Journals
Writing paper
Puzzle books
Pens and/or markers
Stuffed animals (for the troops to hand out to children)
Books and/or magazine
International phone cards

How do I find a soldier for my care package?

Most of us know someone who has a loved one currently serving overseas. Ask around, post a message on Facebook, or ask your pastor. If you can’t find a connection through your friends, family, or church, there are several ministries who match soldiers with families who wish to send a care package — AnySoldier and Give2theTroops are two such organizations. In the past you could just address your box to “Any Soldier” and it would be distributed. It is my understanding that is no longer acceptable.

Final Thoughts

Be sure to include a card or letter, expressing your gratitude to the soldier who will receive your care package. Also include your email and/or snail mail address if you would like to receive a reply from your solider. Have your children draw pictures and/or decorate the inside of your box with drawings, messages, and stickers. Children of all ages will enjoy taking part in this effort, from planning the shopping list to packing the box. This is such a simple way to show our gratitude and be the hands of Jesus during a trying time in the life of a soldier. May God richly bless our efforts.

Heidi St. John

Speaking the Truth in Love