Tag Archives: child training

Entrusted to Your Care: Be the Mom

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Let’s talk about children today. Go ahead and open up your Bible to Proverbs 22:6. This is a verse that we have all heard before, but, if you haven’t highlighted it or underlined it, now would be a good time to do that.

Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

I love the imagery of Scripture, because as I read verses in Ephesians and Matthew and again in Proverbs, we read over and over again that it is the parents responsibility to train up their children. It’s not the responsibility of the school, the pastor, the church, community (or the village); the responsibility rests solely on the parent.

That is an incredible task!

One of my favorite verses is Luke 6:40. It says, “When a student is fully trained, he will be like his teacher.” There is probably another way you can look at that. When a child is fully trained, he’ll be like his mother or his father: he will be like his parents. That’s why we say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. It really is true.

We need to take our job as parents seriously and train our children in the way they should go. The Bible says that the person who does that is blessed. Need more convincing? We read in Psalms and again in Jeremiah that the person who follows the Lord and obeys Him is like a “tree that is planted by a stream of water who yields its fruit in season,whose leaf doesn’t wither, and whatever he does prospers.” (Psalm 1) Isn’t this what we desire for our children?

If you are struggling to get your children to obey you today, I want to encourage you! I know it’s hard, but keep at it! Training your children is more important than schoolwork, it is more important than school, actually. Training your children is more important than that grocery trip you need to make; it’s more important than that phone call you need to make. It trumps playing on the Internet.

A few weeks ago, I received a phone call from a friend who was struggling with disrespect from her 12 year old son. We were going back and forth exchanging ideas and perspectives. Twelve years old can be tough; it’s is an age where the discipline method that we used to use doesn’t always work anymore. My friend was realizing that her son was coming into a different season of his childhood. All I could do was pray for her, because I didn’t have the answers she needed. This seasoned, capable mom was navigating the sometimes rough waters of parenting. We all need to learn to do it. Our kids are counting on it.

It’s humbling (but also freeing) to realize we don’t have all the answers. Be encouraged, busy mom. You can do this job you’ve been given. God says He calls us to the task that we have have before us. In other words, He knew, even before she even had that little boy, that she was the perfect mother for him. It’s an awesome thing to realize that our children have been entrusted to us.

Entrusted. It’s a powerful word. It means we are being trusted with something precious. Moms who see the power of being entrusted with children love them by giving them boundaries, by teaching them, by disciplining them, by correcting them and by giving them unconditional love.

Often, it’s easier to just “let things go.” After all, parenting is exhausting. It’s a marathon of never-ending questions, refereeing, guiding and forgiving. Do the harder thing, mom. Don’t give up on the oh-so-daily job of redirecting and correcting and guiding your children. The results of your investment will be worth it.

Love your kids, busy mom. But remember—you’re the mom.

Be the mom.

Love and train up your kids.

How to Be Christ to Others at Christmas

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“It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:26-28, ESV)

Christmas time. A time of celebration of Christ the newborn King. A joyous time of year for many, but also a very difficult time of year for many. Whether emotional, physical or spiritual, we will always know someone who struggles to keep going. And it’s our responsibility and great privilege to meet their needs.

While we should always be on the lookout for those who are in need, being ready and willing to help and ease the burden, Christmas is a fantastic time of year to really get into it. And it’s the perfect opportunity to involve your family, as you take time off for the holidays.

Over the last couple of years, we have relaxed our school schedule during the month of December. Each year before that Christmas approached, I felt stressed out as there were so many projects and things we wanted to be involved in, but just weren’t able to for lack of time. When we planned for a release of our expectations for school during the month of Advent, we were able to accomplish so much in the way of blessing and serving others.

If you homeschool, I would encourage you to examine your schedule throughout the year, and work in a way to have a few weeks off during December (including BEFORE Christmas) to serve. That is part of the beauty of homeschooling now, isn’t it? To have the flexibility to set our own schedules, and most importantly, to be involved in the lives of others, as a family.

If you are not homeschooling, I would encourage you to find ways as a family that you can serve just over the time your kids may have off school. But this isn’t just about being all rosy and glowy servants during Christmas. This is about desiring and exhibiting a heart for serving ALL year round. Christmas is a fantastic time to start though!

As a family, we have come up with a list of ways we can be serving and caring for others on a regular basis, but also specific projects to tackle during Christmas. This list is certainly far from finished, but I hope it sparks some ideas for your own family and enables you to find a starting point of serving.

Visit a nursing home or hospital ward.

This has to be one of my FAVOURITE ideas of all time. We did it growing up as a homeschool group, and now my kids are doing it with our co-op group. They work hard to put on a program for the seniors, and everyone loves every minute of it! After we socialize with some homemade goodies and put together gingerbread houses. Contact a seniors/nursing or retirement home in your area and ask about coming in, as individuals or a group, to bring a light.

The same could be done at a hospital ward, though you may be limited to coming and singing songs throughout, delivering goodies to rooms, and visiting for a few moments. Though it may be uncomfortable and it will definitely be stretching, all these people are probably not thrilled to be in a hospital for Christmas, so think of how much of a blessing it would be to them.

RACK’ed.

Last year we started doing Random Acts of Christmas Kindness – or RACK. I originally got the idea from Tracie Stier in her post here. We’ve come up with a list of ideas we will keep adding to, but for each one we leave behind a candy cane with this message on it:

Our ideas so far include:

shovel driveways
pay for the person behind in the drive thru
make cookies for firemen and library workers
bring hot coffee / chocolate to construction workers
make someone a meal
make ornaments and hand them out to people
give goody bags to grocery store cashiers
visit neighbours with goodies

Meet a family’s needs.

We often have no idea what other people are going through. That’s why I love small groups so much, because it helps you to stay connected with people you may not normally “hang out” with, while building each other up in your walk with Christ. But most importantly, it makes a way for you to meet the needs of others. Though you may not know what everyone’s needs are, someone knows! And the question begs to be asked, especially at Christmas when the money gets tighter.

Ask your small group leaders or elders if there are any families that have needs to be met. Whether it be financial or physical, do your utmost to fulfill them. Make some meals, offer transportation, buy gifts or Christmas dinner, be there to comfort them or invite them to your home if they have gone through the loss of a loved one. Often a few months after, they fall to the wayside, but now especially need to be surrounded by love and encouragement. Offer babysitting to parents (especially single parents!), so they can get shopping done or just have some time to breathe and relax.

Another way that you can meet a family’s needs is through organizations like Gospel for Asia. I’m talking about buying cows, bicycles, sewing machines and wells. Each year we choose gifts from the Gospel for Asia Christmas catalogue to help a family in need. This is something the kids look forward to so much, and we have been so blessed to see the sacrificial way they give. What an amazing opportunity to change the entire livelihood of a whole family in need!

Contribute to your local food bank.

Our church organizes a food drive donation each year, and the kids REALLY get behind this. Though surprisingly, this year they said “There aren’t any poor people in our town.” And they’re sort of right, to the naked eye, you can’t SEE those who are suffering in our town. But when you go to the food bank and hear about the people who use it, you realize things aren’t always as they seem. So go, bring some goodies, ask some questions, go for a tour, and help your children to see that things aren’t always as they seem, and we often need to look past appearances to see the hurt.

Give of your time.

There are SO many opportunity and areas to volunteer in, it makes me giddy! Unfortunately in our area, a lot of them you have to be over 18 for. So I’m waiting excitedly until that day! (Only 9 years to go :D) Food banks, soup kitchens, shelters, crisis centers, homes for women and children, churches, Operation Christmas Child packaging facilities – if you Google it, you will find it.

Host a shoe-cutting party.

This is a new idea we’ve had this year, and are so excited to be involved in! Many kids in Africa have sores and infection on their feet because of sand fleas that burrow in and lay eggs. All because they have no shoes! Sole Hope came up with a way to help, and it involves taking your old jeans and cutting them into shoes. It’s a really easy way to give back ANY time of the year, not just at Christmas. The kids are making cards and handing out letters to their friends asking for their old jeans to make new shoes.

In reality, any of these ideas are things you can do year-round. But especially at Christmas, when the message of Christ coming to serve and to save is so prevalent – what better way can you be like Christ than to serve others in His Name?

What fun ways of serving do you take on during the month of Christmas to serve and bless others?

5 Christmas Picture Books That Will Point Your Kids to Jesus

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I will warn you ahead of time, this post could have been titled, “5 Christmas Picture Books That Will Make Momma Cry.”

Despite those tears that usually mean my son reads the final pages, these books remain one of the most special parts of our Christmas celebration every year. At a time when the focus often drifts to receiving, rather than giving, Santa, instead of Jesus, and filling stockings seems more pressing than filling our hearts, reading these books will help redirect your family back to the reason we celebrate — the birth of a Savior.

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The Christmas Miracle of Jonathan Toomey by Susan Wojciechowski

Jonathan Toomey is the best woodcarver in the valley, but he is always alone and never smiles. No one knows about the mementos of his lost wife and child that he keeps in an unopened drawer. But one early winter’s day, a widow and her young son approach him with a gentle request that leads to a joyful miracle.

The Legend of the Candy Cane by Lori Walburg

One dark November night a stranger rides into a small prairie town. Who is he? Why has he come? The townspeople wish he were a doctor, a dressmaker, or a trader. But the children have the greatest wish of all, a deep, quiet, secret wish. Then a young girl named Lucy befriends the newcomer. When he reveals his identity and shares with her the legend of the candy cane, she discovers fulfillment of her wishes and the answer to her town’s dreams. Now will she share what she has learned?

Silver Packages: An Appalachian Christmas Story by Cynthia Rylant

In Appalachia each Christmas, a boy named Frankie waits beside the tracks for the Christmas Train, which will bring presents to the children who live in coal towns and hollows. Year after year, Frankie hopes that one particular gift, a very special gift will be tossed to him from that train. It is this enduring hope that will guide him to the true meaning of the season.

Christmas Oranges by Linda Bethers and Ben Sowards

The only home little Rose has ever known is the orphanage, but Mrs. Hartley cares for all the children as if they were her own. When Mrs. Hartley dies, Rose is sent to a new orphanage, which is as cold and cruel as her previous home was kind.

Gradually Rose makes a few friends, and she learns that every Christmas a generous neighbor donates a box of oranges for the children.

An orange is an unknown luxury for little Rose, and she waits in eager anticipation. But on Christmas morning, Rose is brokenhearted when she learns that there is no orange for her.

However, Christmas is a time of friendship, love, and of miracles . . .

Annika’s Secret Wish by Beverly Lewis

A beautiful book that will become part of a family’s Christmas heritage, Annika’s Secret Wish inspires young and old to freely give and share even long hoped-for gifts. The final page features Swedish Christmas traditions that your family may choose to include in your own holiday celebration.

May this be a season of joy for your family, as you dig in deeper to share the real meaning of Christmas with your children.

And an angel of the Lord suddenly stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them; and they were terribly frightened. And the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of a great joy which shall be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. “And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths, and lying in a manger.” Luke 2:9-12

It Can’t Wait: Teaching Our Children About God

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I wonder, as families, are talking about the Lord very often? I mean, really, if I were to ask you if we should be talking about the Lord, you’d answer, “Yes, of course we’re supposed to be talking about the Lord!” However, when it comes down to it, it’s not as easy as it sounds, is it? It’s easier to put the Lord at the end of our day or at the end of our conversation, if we even remember Him at all.

Sometimes, we only mention His name when we need help. I think this is the common response— we we run to God only in times of crisis or emergency. Certainly, God is there in those times, but I wonder what our families would look like if we ran to Him on a daily basis rather than in times of crisis or struggle.

If you already have your Bible, turn with me to a familiar passage that most of you probably know. It’s in the Old Testament, in the book of Deuteronomy, chapter 6:5-7. This is what it says:

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”

A couple of years ago, my husband and I began a writing project called Firmly Planted. The heart behind this Bible study is to engage the whole family in the study God’s Word. One book, with activities and engaging questions for all ages. We began this project in response to something that we saw happening within the homeschool community, but as we spoke to our friends outside the homeschool community we began to see that many of us were struggling with the same thing. We talk a lot about walking with the Lord, but we are not doing anything proactively to teach and train our children in the ways of the Lord.

This may require a sacrifice of time and energy on our part as parents, but one thing is certain: if we don’t teach our children about God, the world will do it for us. We want our children to know the Lord, we want them to give Him the same place in our families that He holds in the universe. The Bible says that God is the Creator of all things.

So, as you consider your family, take a step back and ask yourself, “Are we studying the Bible as a family? Do my children see me reading the Bible? Do they know that God has a place in our family, that He is the most important part of our family?”

God deserves a place in your family, busy mom, and, you know what? He deserves first place. He deserves to be at the head of the table. Our children need to know that God is real and personal. They need to know that He loves them and wants to have a relationship with them.

Does this take effort? Yes, it does.

Someone asked me one time, “How do you make your children love the Bible?” I had to laugh a little as I remembered all the times that my children had grumbled and complained when we gathered the family for devotions. They would say things like, “Really mom? Do we HAVE to do that?” I’d like to say that it was perfect, but there were times where arguing was involved. Looking back, I can honestly say that the most important times that I remember with my adult children were when we were reading the Word and God really spoke to them in such a way that they began to see their relationship with Him in a personal way.

Let your kids see that God takes first place in your family. Although God deserves to have priority in the lives of your family members, don’t just do it for Him. Put Him first in your family for the sake of your family and you will find that there is tremendous blessing in walking with God.

My grandpa used to say,

“If you keep God outside of your family, there will be problems inside your family.”

Grandpa was right. We see this in our culture, too. Where we remove God, we struggle and suffer. Walk with God, busy mom. Spend time in His Word with your kids and then see what God will do.

P.S. Have you been enjoying these daily devotions in podcast format? I hope so—because I’m sure enjoying recording them! Let me know how you’re doing—and feel free to post questions, too! I hope these daily devotions are helping you get into the Bible on a consistent basis.

Fall Family Project: Care Packages for Our Troops

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As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. (1 Peter 4:10-11 ESV)

With the advent of the autumn season comes much opportunity to reflect upon the blessings God has bestowed upon us. Along with the more obvious day of gratitude, Thanksgiving Day, comes a lesser celebrated day, Veteran’s Day.

November 11, Veteran’s Day, is the one day set aside each year to honor the patriotism, love of country, and sacrifice of all those who have served in the Armed Forces of the U.S., including those currently serving. For several years now, our family has attempted to repay that service in a very small way — by sending care packages to our troops.

This small token of gratitude is amazingly meaningful to those who have received our simple gifts. When you’re far away from home and those you love, it doesn’t take much to make your day. A box of toiletries, a pair of socks, some much coveted beef jerky — things most of us pass by on our weekly grocery store visits — become priceless treasures to those living in less than desirable conditions.

Today, I want to help your family serve in this way as well, by sharing three different themed care packages that can be easily assembled for about the cost of an average family’s trip to a fast food restaurant, as well as some tips for sending care packages to our troops.

What do I need to know about shipping care packages?

I’m glad you asked, because there are a few things you need to know, including some hard and fast rules about sending care packages.

No obscene or pornographic articles are permitted (prints, cards, DVDs, etc).
Non-authorized political materials are not permitted.
Bulk quantities of religious material contrary to Islam are not permitted (items for personal use are allowed).
Pork or pork by-products are not permitted.
Each care package mailed must be accompanied by the customs form found here. Be sure you read the instructions for how to complete the form properly. Any errors and your care package may not be delivered.
My personal preference for packaging is the large Priority Mail flat rate box. The shipping rate for this box is $16.85 no matter how heavy it is, and the post office will discount that to $13.30 for boxes going to an APO/FPO address. The boxes are free for the taking at your local branch of the USPS or you can order them online here.
Chocolate should not be included in care packages, especially during the hot summer months.
Shop at your local dollar store. We were able to fill two boxes of toiletries for less than $40. Our food box was more expensive because we needed to head to the grocery store for much of the food. That box came to about $35. Still that’s three care packages for $75, or an average of $25 each. Many families will spend $25 driving through a fast-food restaurant!
Don’t send homemade food items. Shipping times may be delayed, and these foods could spoil.
Place anything liquid (shampoo, body wash, etc.) into plastic zipper bags in case they spill.

What items should I include?

Generally speaking, you should choose a theme for your care package — toiletries, food, or entertainment. There can be some crossover between the three, but for the most part, boxes that contain toiletries should not also contain food. I find it much easier to pack according to theme. For this Veteran’s Day, we chose to pack 2 boxes with toiletries (one for a man, and one for a woman) and 1 box of food items. Below are list of items you might consider including for each box.

Toiletries Care Package

Deodorant
Shampoo and conditioner
Bar soap
Body wash
Hand lotion
Toothbrushes
Toothpaste
Dental floss
Razors
Shaving cream
Hand sanitizer
Lip balm
Baby wipes
Foot powders
Feminine hygiene products
Tissues
Sunblock
Bug spray
Over-the-counter pain relievers
Socks (cotton or wool)

Food Care Package

Tuna in foil packs
Ramen noodles
Canned or dried fruits
Sunflower seeds
Roasted nuts
Beef jerky
Instant coffee, herbal teas, hot chocolate
Drink powders, such as Gatorade, Tang, Crystal Light
Protein powders
Granola bars/Power bars
Instant oatmeal packs
Trail mix
Peanut butter
Cheese/peanut butter crackers
Individual boxes cereal
Cookies
Gum/Mints
Hard candies

Entertainment Care Package

Card games
Travel games
Personal CD player (don’t forget the batteries!)
CDs
DVDs
Video games
Small Nerf balls
Frisbees
Journals
Writing paper
Puzzle books
Pens and/or markers
Stuffed animals (for the troops to hand out to children)
Books and/or magazine
International phone cards

How do I find a soldier for my care package?

Most of us know someone who has a loved one currently serving overseas. Ask around, post a message on Facebook, or ask your pastor. If you can’t find a connection through your friends, family, or church, there are several ministries who match soldiers with families who wish to send a care package — AnySoldier and Give2theTroops are two such organizations. In the past you could just address your box to “Any Soldier” and it would be distributed. It is my understanding that is no longer acceptable.

Final Thoughts

Be sure to include a card or letter, expressing your gratitude to the soldier who will receive your care package. Also include your email and/or snail mail address if you would like to receive a reply from your solider. Have your children draw pictures and/or decorate the inside of your box with drawings, messages, and stickers. Children of all ages will enjoy taking part in this effort, from planning the shopping list to packing the box. This is such a simple way to show our gratitude and be the hands of Jesus during a trying time in the life of a soldier. May God richly bless our efforts.

How about you? What are some of your favorite Family Projects?

A Wise Mom Multiplies Her Efforts

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Did you know that mothers expand their work by multiplication and not just addition?

Proverbs has a lot to say about the training of children. In Proverbs 22:6 we read,

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

This is not a formula or a guarantee for flawless children, rather it is a principal that children keep good habits they learn when they are young. Every mother’s goal should be to train her children to replace her—and that starts when the children are young. Start with training your children to help you at home.

A mother’s effectiveness depends on multiplying her efforts around the house.

Recently, I’ve had conversations with new moms who are struggling to get their kids to work around the house. Simple things like chores become battles for control, and Mom’s frustration shows at the end of the day when she decides to do the chore herself. Hey, I get it! Sometimes it’s easier to clean the kitchen by myself than to train a child to do it while they grumble and complain, or even worse – grumble and complain while doing the chore wrong and then having to be told to do it again. That’s happened just a few times around my house. 😉

It does take a lot of effort on your part, but there is value in training your children to work. There is value in teaching your children how to do the things around the house. They help now and can do things on their own when they leave your house.

One time, I heard someone say that a mom who has her children working around the house is a lazy mom. I would like to suggest that nothing could be further from the truth! That person had clearly never trained a child to work around the house because it is so much easier to do it yourself, right? Most of you who have tried to teach children to work know exactly what I’m talking about!

Don’t be afraid be afraid to teach your children to work.

Today, sit down with your children and let them know exactly what is expected of them. Children who know what is expected of them have an easier time accomplishing things that are needed to be accomplished, and they feel secure in those expectations. It’s hard to work for someone when you don’t know what is expected of you!

A wise mom multiplies her efforts through training and teaching her children. Communicate with your children and train them up, Busy Mom. That’s your job.

Mending Relationships

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Do you have a relationship that needs mending?

Sometimes we have fights in our house. I hate to break it to you guys, but my home is not always calm and peaceful (shocking, I know!). There have been many times when we have needed to mend relationships in our home.

I want to take us to James 4 today. The first part of James 4 says, “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but you don’t get it? You kill and covet but cannot have what you want, you quarrel and fight, you do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive because you ask with the wrong motives that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”

It’s interesting to me that the more I get to know the Lord, over and over again God says the same things throughout Scripture. He says, trust me, talk to me, put down your flesh, and dwell and live in the spirit.

If we continue to read in chapter 4:6, we read, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” God opposes the proud, and gives grace to the humble.

If you are in the process of needing to mend a relationship in your life today, be willing to seek forgiveness for your own actions. As parents, we need to be humble and not lording our position over our children. Humility opens a child’s heart. When I can go to my child and say, “You know what, I’m sorry, I could have done that better,” it’s amazing the response I will get, as opposed to saying, “You need to apologize to me.”

Several years ago, I had an instance with one of my daughters- a hardness of heart- and I was having a hard time getting through. I asked the Lord to give me a specific grace for this particular child, and I felt like the Lord was telling me, “Tell her that you need her grace for you. Ask her to pray for you.” I went into her room and I was tucking her in bed for the evening and we said our prayers together, I said to her, “You know what sweetheart? Mom is struggling with these things…” I could almost see her heart begin to soften as I told her some things in my own life (like pride and fear) that I was struggling with. It was almost as if my willingness to expose a tender part of my heart made her hear tender towards me.

So if you have the opportunity to, seek forgiveness from your children if you need to. Children want to forgive their parents. Wait for the Lord to speak to your child and then wait for your child to respond to you verbally.

Try it out. See if it does work. God says that forgiveness clears the conscious. Take the time to mend your relationship with your children.

Keepin’ it real, Moms!

Heidi St. John

Speaking the Truth in Love

Tag Archives: child training

Entrusted to Your Care: Be the Mom

How to Be Christ to Others at Christmas

5 Christmas Picture Books That Will Point Your Kids to Jesus

It Can’t Wait: Teaching Our Children About God

Fall Family Project: Care Packages for Our Troops

What do I need to know about shipping care packages?

What items should I include?

Toiletries Care Package

Food Care Package

Entertainment Care Package

How do I find a soldier for my care package?

Final Thoughts

How about you? What are some of your favorite Family Projects?

A Wise Mom Multiplies Her Efforts

Mending Relationships