Tag Archives: be encouraged

Bad Day

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Monday. Monday Monday Monday. I will confess that I have had a total meltdown already today— it began with the kids bickering over breakfast and got worse from there. For some reason school today was overwhelming. Even the simple problems were frustrating the kids. So I thought I’d get them a snack to lift their spirits (and mine).

I made them all hot chocolate with marshmallows and brought it to the table along with some mixed nuts. I hummed Daniel Powter’s “Bad Day” to myself as I measured out the chocolate powder. I surveyed the kitchen. Dishes everywhere. It was only 9:30. …just keep swimming, just keep swimming.I thought hot chocolate would make things turn around. You know, a little chocolate can do wonders, right?! NOT. Within five minutes child A had spilled child B’s hot chocolate all over her school work and clothes. It soaked through the tablecloth into the carpet and into B’s slippers. Child C proceeded to explain why it was all child D’s fault that no one was obeying.You can imagine where it went from there. : Child B is now folding laundry. I didn’t have the willpower to try and resurrect her ruined notebook pages. Child C is learning why it matters to line up columns when multiplying large numbers (yes, I made C do it until it was right), Child A is finding out how hard it is to get hot chocolate out of the carpet and D is now napping.

Sometimes, life is just hard. Homeschooling is hard. If we’re honest, we can encourage and support each other. If we’re not honest, we can easily find ourselves alone in a glass house. I don’t know about you, but I find I am most encouraged when mom tells me she had a bad day but she didn’t give up. 🙂

So that’s my encouragement to you today—if you’re having a tough time, don’t give up! It’s worth it. Even when the hot chocolate spills.

Be encouraged while you mop up the mess,
heidi

Heidi St John Guide to Daylight

Redeeming Our Time

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Redeeming Our Time
(adapted from a 2007 blog post)

{Our oldest daughter, who was 16 when I wrote this, is now a married 21 year old woman. Time flies.}

 

May, 2007
Time Flies.

The other day, I overheard a “celebrity” being interviewed on TV as I prepared dinner for our family.  The questions seemed to center on her public life, and then, one question got my attention.

“If you could only say one thing to young mothers who are raising their children, what would it be?” asked the reporter.  The woman thought for just a moment and replied, “Life is not a dress-rehearsal.  You only get one shot at raising your kids.  Don’t mess it up.”

Her voice cracked slightly, and I heard the familiar sound of missed opportunity in her tone. I wondered why.  By all appearances, she had the “perfect” life. Beautiful children, lots of money, handsome husband. I put down my paring knife to focus on the remainder of her short interview.  It turned out that she was estranged from two of her children.  She lamented the fact that while she was raising her children, she and her husband spent so much time cultivating a “perfect” family, that they did not develop a relationships with their children that would last.  It only looked good on the outside.   And now, it was too late to start over.  The time for raising her children had passed.  She could only warn other mothers not to walk down the same path she had gone down.  The time for sowing seed had passed.  The harvest was in.

It is hard to hear those kinds of words.  My heart hurt for this mom.  Naturally, I thought of my own children.  Our oldest is nearly 16 – and it seemed that it

My husband, dancing with our youngest daughter at our oldest daughter’s wedding in August of 2012

was just yesterday when we were holding her in our arms, in awe of her perfect features and scared to death that we wouldn’t do everything “just right”.  I thought of my grandmother, who remarked to me just a few months after grand-daddy died that she was amazed at how fast her life had gone by.  Grandma said to me, “Heidi, the best thing you will ever do in this life is to love your husband and to raise your children to love and serve the Lord.  Don’t let the world fool you into thinking that having children is anything less than the best thing you’ll ever do.”   She should know.

I recently spoke to a group of women in Washington about the blessing of motherhood.  It seems odd to me that many Christians have bought into the world’s way of looking at children. It must grieve the heart of God when we think of our children as anything less than a gift straight from the heart of the Creator Himself.

The Bible is full of stories of amazing moms who understood their worth before the Father.  God’s word stresses the importance of mothers!  In Exodus 2 we read about Jochebed, the mother of Moses.  She protected her son, even putting her own life in peril, and then entrusted him to the Lord.  Eunice, the mother of Timothy, instructed her son in the knowledge of the scriptures and he went on to write one of the most amazing books in the New Testament. II Tim. 1:3-5; 3:14,15

In the United States today, mothers are under enormous pressure to conform to the world’s view of children.  Radical Feminism has devalued motherhood in a quest for “greater meaning” and “true identity”. But God sees things much differently.


God’s view of children is a dramatic departure from the cultural norms of the world we live in.  

The world says: “Children are a burden.”
God says, “Children are a blessing.”

The world says, “Try not to have more than two or three children. ”
God says, “Blessed is the man who has many children!”

The world says, “Children get in the way.”
Jesus said, “Let the little children come to ME.”

The world has diminished the high-calling of motherhood to little more than a “stop-over” on the highway of life.

But God says that a wife of strong character is rare – she is worth far more than jewels!  (Prov. 31.10)

If you are a mother, you have an amazing opportunity every day to shape the future. As a homeschooling mom, you have even more time to influence the lives of your precious children.  Homeschooling provides endless opportunities to teach your children about God’s love for them!  Mom, your job is so important!  You have been given the privilege of weaving a fabric of family life using the truth of God’s word to impact the lives of your children… and ultimately this fabric will be a beautiful tapestry that will bear witness to the power and love of the Lord Jesus as your children walk with the One who created them in your womb.

I’m glad I was reminded of the fact that life is not a dress-rehearsal.  I’m thankful that my grandmother loves the fact that Jay and I chose to have a family that doesn’t fit the “worlds” mold very easily.  The time does pass quickly.   Let’s redeem the time God has given us to influence these precious children for the Glory of God.  It’s an investment that yields a harvest of joy that will continue into eternity.

Redeem the time you’ve been given,
heidi st. john 

Heidi St John Guide to Romance
Heidi St John Guide to Daylight

The Ultimate Multi-Tasker

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People often ask me what I would change about homeschooling if I could start over. With two graduates and five more to go, believe me, I think about this question from time to time. It’s good to reflect on the lessons we learn as the years go by.

Believe it or not, the BEST years we have ever had in homeschooling have been the ones where I have felt the least successful. One year, I was on bedrest for months of a pregnancy. My plans for the year evaporated before my eyes and I was left with very few options but to read with the kids and do a “scaled down” version of the program I wanted to use. Very.Scaled.Down.

I was depressed and worried about how well the kids would do at the end of the school year for Washington’s required testing.

That was the year that I truly understood what God meant when He said “My strength is made perfect in weakness.”

It was also the year that the kids scored three grade levels above their grade level at the end of the year’s required testing. I think God was trying to show me that this homeschool journey he has called us to is as much about me following Him as it is about educating our kids.

When I do my part, He more than does His. 🙂

If you’re struggling with unexpected challenges this year, don’t let it discourage you. Pare down if you need to, and believe that God will finish what He has started if you’ll just trust Him.

He’s the ultimate multi-tasker.

Heidi St John Homeschooling Guide to Daylight

Be encouraged! There’s No Such Thing … As Super Mom

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Last week, I spoke for NCHE (North Carolinians for Home Education) at their awesome conference in Winston-Salem. I loved being able to talk with many of the 6000+ attendees on everything from multi-level teaching to marriage. Moms, and especially homeschool moms really float my boat.  They are my people, if you know what I mean.  🙂  I get being a mom. Most of the women I spoke to had similar questions and the biggest one is usually “Am I doing enough?”

We do so much, don’t we? Or at least we try to do so much. Ballet, soccer, music lessons, co-op, church, birthday parties. Just looking at a potential list of all the things I “could” be doing but am not makes me feel like a failure sometimes.

Man, we’re hard on ourselves! I used to ask myself if I was doing enough a lot when our kids were all little, but I must admit, it’s lessening with each passing year. Now that two of our daughters are grown, I find myself emotionally tied to less “super” things … and more sappy ones. Turns out that the best memories we all share are pretty simple. Like reading together. Nothing “super” about that… or is there? 🙂

One of the reasons I love speaking to moms is because it provides me with an opportunity to “be real” about my own life—flaws and all.  You see, there’s no such thing as a mom who has it all together. The mom who is SUPER academic will often wonder why she can’t be more laid back like her unschooling friend. And the mom who is SUPER organized may secretly wish she could be more laid back. Some moms are SUPER at socializing while others are SUPER at crockpot dinners. We’ve all got our strengths and weaknesses. And that’s okay. I think the key to avoiding Super Mom Syndrome is just to keep being real with each other.

You see I’ve come to believe that the best encouragement comes from ordinary moms being … well … ordinary. It’s not the “Super Moms” that encourage me. It’s the moms who share the same struggles I do but who remain willing to try again tomorrow. The mom who can say “Yeah, I thought about quitting homeschooling last week too!” … and then didn’t quit because she was reminded of the why rather just the oh-so-daily tasks of homeschooling.

The mom who falls down, and then talks about how God met her where she was at—and kept at it—shows us that His strength really is made perfect in weakness.

That’s the good stuff.

At the end of the day, my kids won’t remember me as Super Mom. But I hope they remember that I loved them. That I asked for forgiveness when it was necessary. That I wasn’t embarrassed to put a frozen pizza in the oven even when company came over for dinner unannounced and that I taught them how to navigate the often rough waters of parenthood with a little flair all their own. I hope they learn how to listen for the Lord so that they take on His yoke and not someone else’s. His yoke is easy. His burden is light.

You don’t have to be Super Mom.  Just have to Abide in Him. You can do all things through Christ.

Heidi St John Guide to Daylight

This is Who You Are, Day 7

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Refuse to Be Sidelined

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

Something sad and fascinating is happening to parents in this post-modern era. We’re being lied to. We’re being told that we aren’t necessary—and what’s worse, many moms today are buying the lie! After all, they say the “village” can do it better.

Slowly but surely society is shutting parents out. What used to be regarded as a parent’s responsibility is now seen as an infringement on the child. If we want to stay in the race and finish it we must refuse to be sidelined. MomStrong moms possess a willingness to endure rather than become a passive onlooker in the lives of their children.

When the world says “give up” or “it’s not your business,” I challenge you to stand up for the sake of your child. Go ahead and risk being annoying. Be the mom who knows the names of your child’s friends. Be the mom who asks the hard questions and loves unconditionally. Be the mom who refuses to be sidelined and actively guides her child through every stage of growing to adulthood.

Your children don’t need the government or the school system to teach them about the big things in life, they need their parents. Moms, you are stronger than they say you are. You are more capable and more invested. You’re your children’s mother, and kids today need their mothers to be all-in.

They need the wisdom and love of their parents, and they need a mom who is one hundred percent invested.

Be that mom!

This is Who You Are, Day 6

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Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. 2 Timothy 2:15

I have been talking about parenting for a long time, not because I have it down, by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, the older I get and the older my kids get, I realize how much I really don’t know and how very dependent on the Lord I am.

It’s easy for me to get tired and busy and neglect my own time with the Lord. Maybe you can relate. If you are parenting your children from a spiritually dry place yourself, remember this: you can’t give them what you don’t have. If you don’t have a walk with the Lord, if you don’t have a clear understanding of God’s Word, or a love for His will, or a clear method of reasoning with Biblical convictions, your children won’t have that either.

I want to encourage you today to spend time with God. Read His Word for yourself. Often times, we do not know how to use the Bible to guide us in matters of everyday living, and our own lack of knowledge is keeping us from teaching our children to live in a Biblically wise way. Our job is to teach them to develop their own set of internalized Biblical convictions: a set of standards that they derive from the Bible, so that when we are not around them, they are capable of making good, moral, and wise decisions.

We should be teaching our children to love, serve, and follow the Lord, so that they can stay away from the two spectrums that the world defines as religion. There’s a ditch on either side. We always tell our kids; the one ditch is legalism–where everything is bound by law and things done by rote. The other side of that is moral relativism where truth is undefined.

Neither of those are Biblical boundaries. A true believer decides that the Lord is in charge of his life and willingly lives inside those boundaries, he does not live testing them. Often times we find our children testing them and I’ve noticed some things in the life of our own children, and, frankly, in my own life, that our convictions are based on the truth of God’s word. We must have those convictions in our hearts, and in order for me to impart those to my children, and to do what the Bible says in Deuteronomy, to train my children to love and follow the Lord, I have to be doing that in my own life.

Jay and I wrote a Bible Study series because we are seeing so many families who are giving their kids rules but they are not directing them to Scripture. It’s easy to parent our children out of fear and not even realize we’re doing it. Older kids, especially, need to understand the boundaries that God has set for us in Scripture. As parents, we have to know God’s word.

When you think about what the most important thing is you can do for your children, think of it in the context of how you can help them walk with the Lord. I am convinced that it is so important to define the concept of conviction and personal responsibility in our children within the framework of God’s Word.

So, take them back to His Word–over and over again. If they have a question that you don’t have an answer to, it’s okay to say, “You know what? I don’t have the answer to that. But God does. Let’s pray about it.”

Be a place where your kids can be a sounding board and get to know God’s word yourself in a personal way, because you can’t give your kids what you don’t have yourself. You can do it, because God will give you what you need. Just ask!

This is Who You Are, Day 5

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Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. Colossians 4:6

Grace is something that’s given but not deserved. It’s the free and unmerited favor of God, demonstrated when He sent His son as atonement for my sin. And i was the last thing on my mind last night when I noticed it was 9:30 p.m. and the kids were still going full-tilt—after I put them in bed for the third time. I just wanted them to go.to.sleep.
It’s daunting to realize that my kids are learning about grace … from me. To be honest, I sometimes wonder if God got the wrong girl. You see, I came to this motherhood thing broken in a thousand ways. I needed healing and a lot of grace. In short, I needed Jesus.

Over the past 24 years, God has shown me ten-thousand different kinds of grace. He’s good like that. God, through His son, Jesus, is grace personified. In fact, whenever you read the word grace in the Bible, you can substitute the name of Jesus. What does grace look like? It looks like Jesus. What does it sound like? It sounds like Jesus.

Sometimes, I admit, I don’t sound very much like Jesus to my kids. And honestly? If I can’t get that right, my witness isn’t worth very much. My kids know the “real” me. They will reflect to the world the kind of grace they learn at home. It matters now more than ever—because the world is asking important questions right now.

We’ve got to know how to give—and receive—grace. Why? Because God wants us to teach it. To testify. To bear witness to the faithful goodness of God.

Paul understood this. He wrote, “But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.” Acts 20:24

He knew his ministry was to testify to the gospel of the grace of God. He knew that grace was the big deal.

The word grace is as over-used as “cool” these days, and I think we’ve forgotten how powerful grace is. Grace is love, personified. Grace is undeserved favor poured out over a lost world in the name of Jesus.

If you are not talking about what grace is with your kids, now is the time.

Give grace, sweet moms.