Tag Archives: be encouraged

Dear “Anonymous,” I Was That Mom

I received an email from “Anonymous” tonight. She writes:

“I am not sure I want to be a parent some days, much less homeschool. I am very confused…after talking to one mom I want to homeschool, then after talking to one mom I want to do public school again. I am trying to teach my kids using Abeka, but I got very far behind and now am overwhelmed at how much they have missed. I think they are too far behind to be put into public school. I feel horrible that my 5 year old is missing kindergarten and making regular friends. We belong to a church group that meets on Thursdays. It isn’t the same as everyday friends. I am at the end of my rope. Confused, not knowing the right thing to do. I have been praying but don’t see an answer.”

You know, sometimes, I wish there was a giant coffee shop where we could all meet once a week. Because if we could meet once a week, I think we would discover that our struggles are very similar. Even though we live in different circumstances and have unique families, our struggles are common struggles.

Motherhood is challenging. Homeschooling adds a new level to that challenge. I’d love to tell you that there are “5 Easy Steps” to homeschooling or “5 Ways to KNOW” you’ve made the right decision, but there aren’t. However, I can tell you a few things that the Lord has been patiently teaching me over 22 years of parenting. Here are a few of them:

—My family does NOT have to look like ANYONE ELSE’S family. Period. Not in curriculum. Not in parenting. Not in style of dress. Not in the way we eat. We were a unique family. This realization has brought me much freedom—and it is a constant reminder to me of the need I have to be on my knees before the Lord in prayer.

It’s a daily surrender. Sometimes, I must wait for an answer. It rarely comes quickly.

—Whenever I feel “horrible” about a social situation (for example, I might wonder about my children missing out on ‘regular’ school or missing out on a movie that another of their peers was allowed to watch), then it is a sure sign that I am being motivated by guilt rather than being led by the Spirit.

Yes, we need to change our minds sometimes. But more often than not, this “mommy guilt” is simply unnecessary emotional tyranny. Whenever I am not nourishing my spirit, I open myself up it. Busy mom, give yourself time to think and pray when you feel this tug. Often, a conversation with your husband and time with the Lord will give you the peace you are seeking.

—Curriculum can be a terrible task-master. By this, I mean that if our curriculum is pushing us so hard that we can’t enjoy the learning process, it’s probably time to find another curriculum, or seek to modify the one we are using. Some moms flourish under curricula like the one you mention. Others have found that a different approach suits them better. Be open to a new approach.

Remember, you’re never as “far behind” as you think you are. Breathe. Your worst day of teaching at home is likely better than you judge it to be. Your investment will go farther than you think it will. It will have an impact for eternity. So slow down. Build relationships with your children, especially while they are young. It is foundational to who they are going to become.

—Homeschooling should not make you an island. Find a homeschool co-op or support group. If your church does not have a support system for you, consider finding one that does. We NEED each other. Period. Find your people.

—The growing years are short. Five-year-olds need their mom more than they need a social network. I’m not suggesting that they don’t need friends; far from it! Rather, I’m suggesting that YOU need friends, too. Find moms who have children of similar ages. Plan play dates and go to the library and zoo together. This will give you and your child a social outlet.

Finally, plant with the harvest in mind. What do you want to see in your adult children? I know it’s hard to imagine at this stage, but in just a few short years, if you persevere, you will be encouraging a mom who is where you are right now.

I know. I was that mom.

The best homeschooling advice I ever received from another mom had very little to do with an action. It was about an attitude. She encouraged me to be confident in who God has called me to be.

So let me encourage you: Be real. Love your kids. Teach them. Be flexible. Be honest. Find support. Trust that the results of the investment you are making will be worth the sacrifice. And then, commit yourself to becoming the wife and mother you were created to be.

Be encouraged! You can do it. You’ve already been equipped.

In Psalm 16, verse 8, David writes, “I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.”

This is the key. If you know that God has called you to homeschool your children, then He has already equipped you for the job. Don’t be shaken. Keep trusting. You’re His, and He’ll never let you go.

Beauty for the Tired Soul

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I am tired. Anyone else tired?

Matthew 11:28 says, “I will give you rest.” I take hold of that verse and cling to the promise of it. This world can be hard and tiresome. There are days when I don’t want to get out of bed, but the dog is barking to be let out and the kids are fighting over the remote or expressing their hunger to me. All I want is to crawl under the covers and imagine being alone with only me to take care of, meaning, if I wanted to go back to sleep, I could! Then as I am in my pity party of one, I imagine my life with out my daughters and the emotion of an aching heart overwhelms me. I would miss their kisses and hugs and their “I love yous.”

I might want to go back to sleep to feel more rested, but I am needed. I am loved. That is enough for me to crawl out of bed, let the dog out, break up a fight and get breakfast started. I believe that one day I will get my rest, but for now in the midst of motherhood, rest isn’t part of the equation. I can’t stop and dwell on all the house work that needs to get done, the dog that needs bathed, the beds that need made, the toys that need to be put away, the toilets that need cleaning, the dishes that need to be washed or the endless amount of laundry that can’t fold itself. I can’t focus on the fact that I am a “single” mom or how hard life is for me at times. If I dwell on the work that needs to be done or my state of singleness, I get tired. And when I get tired I lose what I should be focusing on – Jesus – the very source from which my restfulness comes.

As I run towards the cross of Jesus I am reminded of His love for me. The Bible is full of encouraging truths from God that are meant to lift our spirits and guide us when we are absolutely “tired.” Our rest can be found in the grace that God showed us at the cross. Sometimes physically, sometimes emotionally… or both, but just knowing what he has done gives me the desire to show that same love without boundaries to my children and others around me.

“My soul finds rest in God alone. My salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation. He is my fortress I will never be-shaken.” (Psalms 62:1-2)

Just reading that verse boosts my spirit and opens my eyes a little wider to the peace promised to me through the cross.

So I encourage you in your busy schedules and unclean homes to take to heart the promise that rest is not found in the amount of sleep you get or how many vacations we take. Rest is found in our Creator. It sounds easier said than done, I agree. However, if we try and make it a focus point in our lives then it will turn into a habit of always seeking our peace and rest from the Lord in whom we put our trust.

“You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” (Isaiah 26:3)

I will keep praying for peace and rest for all of us who feel tired and unmotivated to crawl out of bed. I pray we hold tight to the truth of God found in his word and I pray that together we can encourage and love on those who need to be lifted up in spirit. We are not called to walk this journey alone, thank goodness for that. So get up with a smile on your face, you are needed and loved.

From my heart to yours,

Hilary

Finding Peace in the Storm

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Life is hard. In recent months our family and our church family has dealt with a lot. Many of you are finding yourself in the same place. Overwhelmed. Grieving. Struggling. Tired.

I wanted to share with you something that has been on my heart in the midst of these trials. This comes from a place of deep trust in the Lord and in His ways. This comes from a place of faith in the midst of struggle.

I believe that peace is possible even in the most difficult of circumstances.

In writing more and more on my blog about depression, I have been so blessed to have conversations online with many women who reach out to me that have never talked about their struggles before. There have been those that are just waiting for God to heal them or are desperate for their life circumstances to change.

And here is the difference in the kind of peace I’m talking about, this kind of peace, the kind that surpasses all understanding, it can be found even in the most difficult of circumstances. We don’t need our circumstances to change to find peace. Because peace is a Person. His Name is Jesus.

Sweet friends, peace is possible no matter what is going on around us because we have a living hope in Jesus.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” 1 Peter 1:3-7

The Word of God is living and powerful and this passage is one of those times that I get a little excited about what we are learning.

A living hope! Did you catch that? Our hope is ALIVE, not dead. When something is alive it is still breathing, there is still a heart beat, there is still LIFE. This is the hope in us. INSIDE you and me is a living hope! This living hope is Jesus.

Friends, our hope is not in our circumstances. Our hope is not in the doctor’s report, how our spouse behaves or doesn’t behave, how our kids turn out, whether or not we get that new job, none of these things. When our hope is in these things, we will be disappointed.

But, hope in God never disappoints. He has our best interest at heart. Even though we may not like it, through the difficult circumstances He is forming us to His image. He is sanctifying, cleansing and purifying. If we can just hold onto Him through the storm, on that day when we meet Him face to face, all the tears and doubts and trials will fade away. He is preparing us for an eternity with Him and we can look forward to that day knowing that our every tear will be wiped away. No more death. No more suffering. No more sickness.

What if you’re reading this and you are thinking, that sounds great, but HOW do I find my hope and peace in Jesus and not other places?

Well, I can share some of the things that help me. I read a quote once that “hope takes practice” and I believe this to be true. {Edward Welch.} Sometimes we have to FIND joy, we have to COUNT our blessings, we have to PRACTICE hope. This isn’t a works based gospel, this is readying our hearts for the Lord to do His thing. This practicing hope is confessing and repenting and surrendering to the will of the Father. There is peace in surrender.

Finding Peace

Do not neglect the Word of God. I am so passionate about the Word of God, I share a lot about PRAYING His Word, memorizing it, meditating on it. Why? Because when our mind is fixed on Him, He fills us with His perfect peace. Isaiah 26:3

Breathe prayers. When you don’t have words because of your discouragement and suffering, just whisper breath prayers up to the Lord. All day long. “God, I need you…” “Lord, I’m desperate for You…” “God, You alone are my hope!” Speaking the gospel, even aloud, is very good for our hearts!

Don’t isolate yourself. As hard as it is, God, in His sovereignty, God gave us the Body of Christ. We were meant for relationships. Don’t stop going to church. Worship is a powerful thing. When we take our eyes off ourselves and place them onto praising Jesus, our problems begin to diminish. Also in this category would be the idea to get help if it’s needed. Don’t suffer alone. Often, in our shame, we don’t tell people we are hurting. You may even need to speak with a doctor. Don’t keep it all inside. We were made to communicate and give and receive encouragement.

Use reminders. We are human, we need reminders of God’s love and the hope He gives. Print off pretty verses, like the one below. Write on notecards and place them around your house. Set a timer on your phone to go off every hour, have it say “be thankful.” Whenever your phone alarm goes off, name 3 things you’re thankful for.

Free Scripture Printable

Just like you, I often need the reminder that CHRIST ALONE is my hope. I must stop looking in all the wrong places for my hope, my peace and my joy. He alone satisfies.

In Christ Alone TheBusyMom.com PDF

Grace for the Anxious Mama {Free Printable}

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A note from Heidi:
I really appreciated this post from Candace. Many moms suffer from anxiety—mine was diagnosed as “clinical” when I was twenty-one. I grew up in a home where we were always, always at “Defcon 7,” and I took my childhood anxiety with me into my adult life. I thought that being out of that environment would solve it—but by that time, fear was deeply engrained into my spirit.

This has been something I have had had to struggle with for as long as I can remember—but God has used it to teach me that He is a safe place. His Word calms anxious hearts and reminds us that fear is not from God. I love that Candace takes anxious moms back to the Word—because grace really is new there. We don’t have to live with constant fear and anxiety. God’s mercies really are new each morning.
_______

The anxious mama. Yep, that has been me more times than I’d like to admit. Worrying over silly things, worrying over big things. I didn’t use to think of myself as a worrier, but I realize I was just calling it something else, I think. My “worries” were usually fears over my kids’ futures, fears that I had ruined them, fears that I was messing up. Worry. Fear. They both go hand in hand, don’t they?

When I’m feeling anxious, the very best thing for me to do is spend some time with the Lord and in prayer.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

God tells us right here in His Word that when we are anxious and come to Him in prayer, with thanksgiving, the peace of God will guard our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus. What a gift!! Dig in to God’s Word and your heart will fill up with His peace.

10 Verses for the Anxious Mama

1. 1 Peter 5:7 “Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you.”

2. Proverbs 12:25 “An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.”

3. Matthew 6:25-34 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

4. Psalm 23:4 “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

5. Psalm 27:1 ” The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be afraid? ”

6. Isaiah 35:4 “Say to those with fearful hearts, ‘Be strong, do not fear; your God will come…”

7. Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand”

8. 1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear…”

9. Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

10. Psalm 91

“Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”

Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence.

He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge;

his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,

nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.

A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.

You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.

If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,” and you make the Most High your dwelling,

no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent.

For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;

they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

You will tread on the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble,

I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”

How can these 10 verses help our anxiety?

My suggestions for you are to write these verses out on notecards and carry them with you, place one by the kitchen sink, memorize them one at a time, when you feel anxiety coming on, repeat one of them aloud, repeat it again and again. Meditate on the passage. Pray through the verse asking God for help. He will comfort you through His Word!

Print out this verse from 1 John and frame it, place it in your bathroom or by your bed as a constant reminder of His perfect love. Let this verse bless you and not condemn you. This verse doesn’t mean that if you fear you must not have the love of Jesus in you. God knows that until we meet Him face to face, we are human and in our humanness we stumble, fall and even fill with anxiety and fear. This verse gives me such hope because when I GO TO HIM, His love is perfect. I am not perfect, HE IS. For that perfect love to cleanse me, renew me, sustain me, I must be WITH Him. Spend time with Him today, dear ones, His perfect love will cast out the fear in your heart.

{Click on this PDF link OR the graphic to download your PDF and print!}

Perfect Love Printable PDF

I Want to Quit Homeschooling

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It’s the beginning of the year. December has come and gone—and with it, Christmas break.

I think I’d like to stay on break for the next four years.

Relate much?

Last week, I went upstairs to organize our school shelves so that we’d be ready to start fresh today. I thought I’d shuffle some papers around and tidy up a bit.

The place was a mess. In the rush to Christmas vacation, they (those people who claim to be my well-taught, well-trained, tidy children) had thrown all their stuff in piles. There were piles everywhere. Under the table, behind the couch, on the bookshelves and stuffed behind the door. (So that’s where that last load of laundry went.) I was a little annoyed, but I had a Plan B in mind just in case it was a disaster. (Plan A was a 10 minute-tidy.) It was such a mess that I found my laptop charger, fired up Netflix and set to sorting through and organizing.

Before long, I was in a fairly, shall we say—bad mood. Even watching old episodes of Downton Abbey wasn’t helping. The deeper I dug into the mess, the more upset I became. I started talking to myself. Soon, my talking turned into ranting:

“These kids! They never put their stuff away! I’m always cleaning up after them!”
{Slam old papers into the garbage. Stub my toe—the same one that always pays for it when I’m angry.}

“Why doesn’t anyone ever put the lids back on the highlighters? Is it that hard?”
{Throw four million dried out pens away.}

“I’m so mad! You kids didn’t finish the last three days of work! That’s called d e c e i t in case anyone’s listening!!”
{…throw the last three days of work in the garbage—undone.}

I wanted a break. I wanted to take my kids down to the school district and enroll them. I entertained visions of quiet days and a clean house as I purged, tossed and organized. I imagined what those shelves would have on them if they weren’t crammed with eighteen years worth of math, science, history, grammar and handwriting books.

It’s funny. I was doing the thing I always tell my kids NOT to do: I was letting my frustration determine my attitude. Like many tired homeschool moms, I just wanted to forget about homeschooling for a few more weeks—but I know my own schedule. Two weeks of a break is all we can afford this year. I had two options: quit or keep going.

For the next hour and a half, I struggled to create order out of the leftover Christmas chaos.

Hot tears began streaming down my face as I thought about all that I had on my plate besides homeschooling. “Why am I even doing this? Does it really matter? I hate this! I want to QUIT!”

Just then—because God knows when we’ve had enough—I heard a little knock on the door. I dried my eyes. The door opened and two big brown eyes peered in at me from under little blonde bangs. “Mommy? Are you okay? The kids said you were crying. Are you missing grandpa too? Are you mad? …Would you like my cookie?”

A cookie. I suddenly felt very foolish. We sat down on the floor and ate the cookie, me and the youngest of our seven, surrounded by big white garbage bags and a lot of self-pity. I was embarrassed to admit that I wasn’t grieving the loss of grandpa. I told my little one the truth: I was just mad and feeling sorry for myself.

She seemed okay with that. I get the feeling four-year olds do it, too.

As we sat there eating our cookie, God worked on my heart. Looking at my four-year old daughter, I thought about how patient God is with me. In all my years of walking with Him, He hasn’t quit on me—and goodness knows, I’ve certainly deserved it from time to time.

About the time we were done with our cookie, I noticed a homeschool notebook from ten years ago sitting on a shelf. It belonged to my now 23 yr old daughter. When I opened it, my heart smiled. Beautiful hand-drawn images danced across the pages. She loved to draw. We discovered this when she was in 6th grade. The life cycle of a salmon. The anatomy of a flower. A report on George Mueller. A drawing of her baby sister. A poem for winter. A terrible drawing of me with really bright red lips … kissing her dad.

My attitude was softening as I thumbed through pages. Those years went by so fast—and these years—they’re going by fast, too.

Saylor and I spent the next few minutes looking through old notebooks from her older brothers and sisters. She pointed out things I hadn’t seen in a while—pictures and assignments from kids who are now adults.

What I really needed was not to quit—it was to see things new; to back up and look at the privileged life I lead. Privileged. Homeschool moms get to witness (sometimes after tears!) the first words our children will ever read. Privileged to know everything that’s on the “scope and sequence” for any given school year. Privileged to take an impromptu trip to see the orcas or spend a day at the library when it’s pouring down rain and no one else is there. Privileged to struggle right alongside my kids until we both have an “ah-ha” moment.

It’s been 18 years. I’m realizing that math has precious little to do with the reason we homeschool. Grammar is great—but I’m not homeschooling so my kids will have a shot at a high SAT score (although it’s a nice side-benefit.) I’m not homeschooling to feel good about myself. I’m not homeschooling so that I can say that I do it. (Good grief.) I’m not homeschooling for prestige or for accolades from our kids. I’m not doing it for peace and quiet. If that’s the reason, then I really do … QUIT.

I’m homeschooling our children because I realize what a precious, privileged opportunity it is. I’m homeschooling because I believe it’s a privilege for our children. I’m homeschooling because I know it’s the best thing for our kids—and the best things often require sacrifice.

If you want to quit homeschooling, take a step back. I’m not saying homeschooling is “the answer” but if you’ve been called, don’t quit. Please don’t quit. The finish line isn’t that far off.

You can do it—and it will be worth it.

I’m Sure She Meant Well

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I often hear from moms who need some reassurance that their lives are going to go back to “normal” after having a baby.

Honestly? I’m not sure our lives ever return to “normal” after we have babies. It’s been nearly 23 years since my first introduction to sleep deprived living. “Normal” is still nowhere in sight. I forget things. I’m often tired.

I have to write things down on my TO DO list like “drink water.” Seriously.

If you’ve been reading my blog for very long, you know I’ve had a tough season. Last October, I said “thanks and goodbye” to my uterus. The following spring, another surgery followed. Some things just happen. You veer off course. Sometimes, you just have to roll with it, right? When you’re physically, emotionally or spiritually depleted, the word “margin” takes on new meaning. I find I’m grouchy and distracted when I don’t have enough margin in my life.

Take last week, for example.

It was supposed to be a quick trip to the store when my nearly four year old announced she had to go to the bathroom. I don’t know what it is about public restrooms that seem to draw my children in—but I believe store and restaurant bathrooms are at the top of their “must see” lists. It can never be a quick trip, either. Hey. I don’t want to be the mom who other moms overhear in a bathroom stall saying, “You better not be wanting to go poop right now!” (… yeah. That wasn’t me.)

We left the bathroom a little less put-together than when we went in, only to discover that the other two kids had decided it would be a good time to beg me for a “movie night,” thereby setting into motion the age-old “mommy guilt” complex that many of us take on too easily. It might go hand-in-hand with the weary “you must be kidding me right now” look.

“Movies are for Friday nights,” I said wearily. “It’s Tuesday.”

“But Mooooooommmmmm! You promised!” Really? Maybe I did—in a moment of weakness. I couldn’t remember though. I can never be sure, since they always get me on stuff like that. I was standing my ground, though, talking about our fall bedtime routine and schoolwork that needed to be finished when I noticed a woman was watching me from an aisle over.

Great. Now I’m a bad mom and I have an audience.

She smiled and I’m sure she meant well, but I was about to go all sorts of crazy when she said, “Savor this time” before ducking into the organic food aisle. Really, lady?

I almost cried as I put a bag of celery in my cart. I just needed a nap. Maybe a nap would fix it.

I’m sure she meant well—but honestly? She looked like she was caught up on her sleep. I didn’t notice green smoothie stains on her shirt. She seem to have showered recently.

I’ve been a mom for about 24 years now. With two grown daughters, I have experienced how fast the time goes. But that’s not always the point. Moms need a little grace. I think most moms are desperately trying to hang on to this season but there is a very real element of simply “surviving” it, too.

Yes. I want to savor every little moment. Like you, I imagine, I don’t want to be the mom who “just survived.”

So busy mom, when people like me or some random lady in the grocery store tell you to savor each moment you have with your kids, take it in stride. Yes, do savor it! But be ready for those not-so-savory moments. They don’t mean you’re a bad mother.

Mothering has its ups and downs. The trick, I think, is to keep your eyes on what you’re doing: you’re raising the next generation. Bottom line? You’re pouring out your life in this season so that your grandchildren will have good parents in the next.

While we do this work, let’s remember that some day, we’ll be in a different season. Hopefully, we’ll give grace to the tired mom we see with green smoothie stains on her shirt and instead of offering her advice, we’ll say a little prayer for her. Goodness knows she’ll probably appreciate the quiet prayer more than the advice.
Carry on, brave mother!

Spring Home School Burnout

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The weather is getting warmer, summer is almost here. It’s the last leg of the school year and I’m ready to throw in the towel and give up! This is our 18th year of homeschooling and it happens every year: the exciting days of fall, when I had high hopes of all that we would accomplish, have been buried under hopelessness. Reality is a harsh task master and it’s reminding me that we simply are NOT going to get it all done.

You would think that by now I would be immune to this annual event. I’m not. It has faded some, but still seems to rear its ugly head. Are you feeling the same way? Let’s take a minute, really think about this, and consider some things:

First of all, do you remember WHY you started to home school in the first place? For us, it was because we felt like we could give our kids a love for learning by letting them school more naturally, according to their giftings and interests. We wanted to protect them from influences that did not instill the values in them that we held important. We wanted to spend more time together as a family. We wanted flexibility. We wanted to prepare our kids for real life by living real life with them. Most of all we wanted our children to come into ownership of their own walks with God.

Are any of these your reasons? Did you notice that NONE of them had any direct correlation to curriculum? And yet, at the end of the day, it’s SO hard not to measure our homeschooling in terms of pages finished and projects completed.

God works in a very different economy. It’s hard to remember that. But He really does. His greatest concern is for our hearts, and as moms, that should be our greatest concern for OUR children. Are you seeing growth in your children’s souls? Are they learning HOW to think, rather than WHAT to think? Do they still love learning? Are the relationships within your family, for the most part, peaceful and healthy?

And how about you, Mom? Do you think YOU need to change to become what your children need or do you believe that you are uniquely qualified for this job? That you were made, by God’s design, to be these children’s mother and, they, to be YOUR children? Do you think that you need to figure everything out or that there is a perfect plan already in place? Do you believe that the results must measure up to expectations or that the results are on HIS shoulders? That you are responsible for everything, or that you are part of a team?

God loves our kids more than we do. Our job is to trust Him and do the next thing. He truly is good and faithful. So let’s take some time to breathe a prayer of thanks, rest in Him and enjoy our kids!

Heidi St. John

Speaking the Truth in Love