Heidi has been married to her husband Jay since 1989. Together they have seven children and three grandchildren! The St. Johns homeschooled their kids all the way through high school. Heidi is the the author of seven books, host of the popular podcast "Off the Bench," and the founder of MomStrong International, an online community of women learning God's Word and how to apply it to every day life. She and her husband Jay are also the founders of Firmly Planted Family and the Firmly Planted Homeschool Resource Center, located in Vancouver, Washington.
Do you really want to stay home with your kids? Do you feel like you could just never make it or make it and still live the way you want to? You guys have heard from my friend, Erin Odom before, and her advice is so practical I wanted to have her back again. Her heart is to help you learn how you can stay home with your kids, even if it seems like there is no way at all!
The year was 2008, and I desperately wanted to quit my job to stay home with my newborn daughter.
My own mother had left the workforce to be a full-time stay-at-home mom in the early 80s, when I was a toddler. I have no memories of her ever working outside the home.
I desired the same for my children.
But the birth of my firstborn coincided with the economic downturn of the 2000s. At the time, our family relied heavily on my income and the benefits my job provided.
When our daughter was just six weeks old, I had no other choice but to return to work full-time. I worked most of our daughter’s first year.
When my daughter was 13 months old, my husband and I decided to try to make it work for me to stay home with her full-time. We had made a cross country move, and he was now teaching full-time and no longer in seminary.
I won’t pretend that time was easy. In fact, my daughter’s first five years were the most economically difficult of our family’s life. During that time, we added two more daughters to our family, and there were many months were I simply looked at my bare pantry and near-empty refrigerator while we waited for my husband’s paycheck to arrive.
But it was during that time that I learned that, ultimately, God alone is the Great Provider of all of our needs.
My little girl turns 10 in June, and I’ve now been staying home with her and her three younger siblings for nine years.
In practical terms, how did we make me staying at home with our kids work? And how can you thrive as a stay-at-home mom too—even on a tight budget?
There are three key areas to consider:
Say goodbye to the Joneses.
For those of us who grew up in the 1980s and 1990s, “keeping up with the Joneses” was a values system so ingrained in our culture that it is the default for many.
Instead of living within our means and practicing the discipline of contentment with what we have and how God had provided for us, we’ve depleted our savings accounts, dug ourselves into debt, and burdened our emotional and mental capacities with the stress that comes with keeping up with the Joneses.
If you want to stay home with your kids, you will inevitably have to make sacrifices. Keeping up with the Joneses might be one of them.
But I will tell you that contentment with a little will lead to great gain (I Timothy 6:6), and you won’t regret staying home with your kids.
Curb spending.
If you struggle with overspending, you are not alone. I have good news: you can learn to better steward your money!
There are so many ways you can curb spending that don’t take much effort or energy. Drink water instead of sodas, use cloth napkins and dish towels instead of disposables, and eat out one fewer time per week. If you want make staying at home with your kids work, the goal is to live at or below your means. The truth is, you can usually live on a lot less money than you think.
Create more income.
Over the past several years, I’ve become passionate about teaching women how they can create more income from home.
I’ve witnessed firsthand what a complete life changer this has been for our family as I’ve been able to create a full-time income by blogging in the cracks of life while my children have been napping or sleeping at night.
No matters your gifts and skills set, I see so much potential for today’s stay-at-home mo to bring in more money for her family.
You might need to expand your definition from stay-at-home mom to work-at-home mom, but either way there is hope to achieve the dream of staying home with your kids.
Do you enjoy being hospitable or is it more effort than it’s worth? Do you struggle with insecurity over an undecorated house or lack of confidence in your cooking skills? You are not alone, sister! But it’s important to move past those roadblocks #sothat you can experience and share the blessing of being hospitable. My good friend Jen Schmidt is here today to share with you her strong message of the blessing of hospitality. Don’t miss the giveaway at the end!
Excerpted with permission from Just Open the Door by Jen Schmidt. Copyright 2018, B&H Publishing Group.
For so many moms, our desire is to create a home that is a soft place to land for our children, yet it’s also their learning lab. Just as we bear responsibility to create a welcoming environment for them, we also need to show them how to grow a welcoming heart toward others. This gives us a whole new reason for allowing life-on-life ministry to flow in and out of our homes: it cultivates within our kids a generational legacy of hospitality and service. They learn it by watching; they learn it by doing.
Our sons and daughters, our boys and girls, our teens and college students—the children (or grandchildren) right under our roof—represent the thought leaders of the future in work, ministry, worldview, ethics, and culture. We are training and discipling a new generation of world changers. Yes, it’s an overwhelming and nearly paralyzing concept at times, one that can seem far beyond our reach to accomplish. But it’s a calling we should receive as the highest privilege given. And I can’t think of a better way of doing it—of tangibly exhibiting missional living—than by simply creating a life-giving home that says welcome. As we reshape our preconceived notions about hospitality and align them with God’s Word, we create a powerfully interactive life lab for our children. And an exciting new legacy for our family.
Think of it. Through this “welcome home” lens, our children begin to view every person God brings through our doors as divine interventions amid their everyday life. By watching us serve, they learn how to partner with us by living out the Great Commandment and sharing the gospel. As we demonstrate how much we value those different from us, as we affirm others’ unique personalities and listen to their stories, our kids learn to do the same. Through hands-on interaction with us, they see what it means to be the hands and feet of Jesus by becoming the church of God in our own home. As we walk alongside them, they’re able to imitate us in living a life on purpose.
It’s all part of Deuteronomy 6 parenting: “These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” (vv. 6–7).
It’s not easy, no. But as the Lord is quick to remind me, I’m not so easy either.
In fact, let me say—in terms of viewing my home as a learning lab—the lessons start with me. Home may be the heart of my most important ministry, but regrettably it’s also the place where my sin bubbles over more often than anywhere else. I fumble through many days begging the Lord that His power would be made perfect in my weakness. Home is where I am the most exposed, the most exhausted, where my family sees the good, the bad, and everything in between.
But because of this, it’s also where the transformative power of Christ can best be seen in me. It’s the place where He’s most likely to begin chiseling away at my sinful heart, drawing me closer to Him and showering me with His sufficient grace. And just as serving others in Jesus’ name proves to be the antidote for my own self-centeredness, it works in my children’s hearts as well. Just as living a life of welcome roots me, shifts my focus toward others, and stops my wandering heart, it does the same for them.
Living a life of welcome lets us cast a long-term, multigenerational vision for our children. By being part of a welcoming home, they learn tangible life skills that allow hospitality to become a natural outflow of their lives, regardless of their gifting or personalities. They’re being equipped day by day to enter the future knowing how to build community in an age of isolation, how to make memories in a generation mobilized by technology, how to create an environment of discipleship among people yearning for godly mentors.
That’s creating legacy. Right here. In the laboratories of our own homes.
For the last decade, Jen Schmidt has been encouraging, challenging, and cheering on women to embrace both the beauty and bedlam of their everyday lives on her popular lifestyle blog, Balancing Beauty and Bedlam. With a variety of topics—from easy dinner ideas and personal finance to leaving a legacy—Jen equips others to live life to its fullest, reminding them it’s the little things that really are the big things in life. A popular speaker, worship leader and founder/host of the annual Becoming Conference, Jen shares with humor and authenticity as she invites others to join her on this bumpy, beautiful life journey. She lives in North Carolina with her husband, five children, a few too many animals, and an available sofa for anyone who needs it.
For many of us, inviting people into our lives and homes feels more like inviting judgment on our entertaining skills and stress on our already maxed-out schedules. But what if you knew that opening your front door had the power to radically change the world? To make an impact and leave a legacy with everyday invitations?
Jen Schmidt has set out to reframe how we think about hospitality and to equip us to walk a road of welcome in our daily lives. Jen knows that every time we choose open-door living—whether in our homes or by taking hospitality on the road just like Jesus—those we invite in get to experience the lived-out Gospel, our kids grow up in a life-lab of generosity, and we trade insecurity for connection.
I speak to thousands of women when I’m on the road during my travel season, and so many women stop by to have me sign their book and fall apart while they share that they are currently struggling with anxiety and depression. Are you there too? In Becoming MomStrong, I talk about how we learn to take care of ourselves, #sothat we can take care of our families well. This story is an example of just that.
One of our Busy Mom writers, Candace Crabtree of Mercy is New is here to share the “Five things the Helped Most with Anxiety and Depression” with us today. It’s important to share that we are not doctors, and none of these tips are a substitute for medical treatment, should you feel the need for it. But the Lord has given us tools as well, and I think you’ll be encouraged to hear Candace’s story. I love how her tips all work together and include time in the Word – there isn’t one miracle fix! ~ Heidi
“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4
Twelve years ago I had three babies three years and under and I was a wreck. I was a total wreck both physically and emotionally. And I was pretty hopeless that life would ever be any different for me.
This season of my life became what would be one of the darkest, most difficult seasons I faced. But today, 12 years later, I can proclaim with great joy the faithfulness of our God and His goodness to me. Is life perfect now? No. Will we always continue facing stressful situations while here in this broken world? Yes. But now I have tools that I have learned first hand can help keep my anxiety and depression at bay so that I can live the abundant life that Christ came to give us.
After months of struggling at my lowest point of depression, my husband and I decided that we needed to do something. We visited my family doctor who recommended counseling and a psychiatrist. We consulted with all of them and have done long term counseling at various times over the last few years. All of them recommended anti-depressants. I was in a desperate place and went on medication and would stay on several of them for nearly 8 years.
Fast forward to the end of 2014. I was 35 or so pounds heavier, I was pre-diabetic and on medication for that, I was taking prescription sleep meds or Tylenol PM every single night, yet I was tired all the time, I was not ever my chipper self like I had been years ago. So, I decided to at least try and wean off of my meds with the help of my doctor. Weaning off of the medication was a horrible experience, but I persevered and by the grace of God successfully got off my anti-depressants. I was thankful for them for that season, but it was time to try something different.
At the same time I began seeking out natural help for my emotional issues. And in 2017, God began a transformation of my life that I cry about nearly every time someone asks me. And this is probably the most asked question I receive, “what are you doing to help your anxiety and depression?”
I’m glad you asked. God has been so gracious to help me this last 15 months. And it has become my great joy and passion to help other women on this same journey to find hope again. I want to share with you the things that are having the biggest impact on my life.
The 5 Things That Have Helped Me the Most with Anxiety & Depression
Cultivating gratitude & a mindset change. Grateful people are happy people. I lived most of my life thinking I wasn’t capable of change. Can anyone relate? “This is just the way I am” or “I’ve always been this way” or “I’m just a negative person.” I truly believed those lies of the enemy. It wasn’t until I began acknowledging lies as lies that my mind could begin new thought patterns. How do I know those are lies? Because God’s Word is full of the word “new.” God’s Word is full of passages telling us that we are NEW in Christ. God’s Word has story after story of amazing transformation. I highly encourage you to start a gratitude journal TODAY. Write down small blessings, big blessings…even things that don’t appear at first to be blessings. Watch your life begin to look different when you look through the lens of gratitude. I also suggest memorizing Philippians 4:8 and remembering that where we focus our thoughts determines our peace. We are to think about whatever is true, noble, lovely and right. How do I know what is true? By spending time in the Word of God! Reading it, praying it, memorizing it, meditating upon it, writing it. Whatever you have to do to get the Word IN.
Diet changes. Food is medicine. I might have laughed if you told me that a few years ago. For one, I didn’t think I was capable of making lifelong changes in how I ate. Two, I just plain would not have believed you. But, I am a living, walking, breathing proof that anyone can change their eating habits. You know how I did it?? I did it JUST long enough to realize how GOOD I was going to feel. And once I realized how good it felt to feel good and actually have energy, THAT is what motivated to keep going! Do I eat perfectly every day? No. But, I know my limits. I know a big plate of pancakes is going to make me feel yucky the next day so I skip it. All of our bodies are so different, you truly have to become your own advocate and start some trial and error with your own body! For me personally, eliminating most grains and processed sugars has been HUGE. Not eating as much processed food is another biggie. When I learned that I could actually feel better and have energy to live out this life God has blessed me with, that was motivation enough to keep it up.
Exercise. The other bad word among us feeling-hopeless-to-change people. I have never ever been able to stick with any type of exercise. Until 2017. I started the year with accountability as well as meeting friends to exercise WITH our kids. So I didn’t feel guilty about taking time away, my kids could play in the gym while I walked and jogged laps. I had good friends to talk with while we walked. I also added in strength training. Did you know there are studies showing strength training to be even more powerful than anti-depressants? Wow. It has proven pretty true for me. Adding in just some simple hand weights, wall-sits, planks and a jogging/walking intervals has been life changing for me. Don’t make it hard! Just get on Pinterest and search for “strength training with hand weights,” go to the store and get you a few small hand weights. Slowly, over time, you can add more weight. God made our bodies to move and they function so much better when we do so. You have to find something that works for YOU. For me, meeting friends helped me. For you, it might mean joining a gym.
Essential Oils. Did you know that your sense of smell is the ONLY sense that goes straight to the part of your brain called the amygdala? Guess what happens there? It’s like the storage bank for your emotions and memory. Do you have any memories triggered by smell? Most of us do. That is how and why essential oils work! Your sense of smell combined with the God-given properties of the oils distilled from God-made plants equals an amazing tool for our emotional wellness! For me personally, frankincense and orange oil have been hugely helpful in managing day-to-day anxiety. I have orange in my diffuser nearly daily, sometimes combined with other oils. All citrus oils are so good for mood lifting! And frankincense, well, they brought it to the Baby Jesus and my hunch is they actually brought it for Mary. You know, postpartum and all. I believe that if I had had frankincense 12 years ago my journey would have looked very different. I put a drop of frankincense in my face lotion very morning and then I put a drop on my thumb and press it to the roof of my mouth daily. You can also do this as needed in times of stress. { Side note: surrounding yourself with encouragement in all of these are huge. These essential oils were a bridge to better health for me because of the team that Heidi and I are on, led by a medical doctor, who encouraged clean eating and exercise along with essential oils. It had a huge impact on my entire year of transformation! There’s more on this at the end! }
Ningxia Red. Go and google the benefits of the wolf berry. Go ahead. I will wait right here. You probably found lists a mile long detailing the high level of zinc, magnesium, fiber, protein..and amazing benefits like immunity booster, support for every single system in your body: respiratory, cardiovascular, central nervous system, digestive system, endocrine system…all of them! I replaced my Starbucks and fast food habit (and all that money I was spending) and am now using this fruit juice supplement from Young Living to boost my wellness and help me manage stress!
I don’t believe there is any one easy answer to dealing with anxiety and depression. I think sometimes the combination of things that helps can also be different for everyone. I can only share my experience. But in sharing my story I want you to know that you are not alone. So many of us struggle! The percentage of American women on anti-depressants is staggering. And for me, it wasn’t helping me to live my best life to stay on the medications. I was still leading an often miserable life without much energy whatsoever.
So, dig in, friends. We can do this. We were made to do hard things. God is a God of REDEMPTION, RESTORATION, RENEWAL and TRANSFORMATION. He didn’t create you to leave you as you are…but to grow you more and more into His image to live out the abundant life that He gives us through Christ. We can better serve our families if we feel good. There is no selfishness in taking care of the temple of God. He resides in us!! He is alive in us! We have the power of the Holy Spirit helping and guiding us! Let us care for this gift we’ve been given so that we can better serve and love our people.
~ Candace
I am on a team with women like Candace, led by a physician, and we’re all learning how to effectively use essential oils to care for our families together. We’re in a closed group, exclusive to people who join our oily family on our team. Check out my page about my favorite essential oils here.
Facebook Live Chat About These 5 Things That Have Helped Me
It’s so easy during busy times of the year (and lets face it, parent life means all seasons are busy) to get overwhelmed with details and forget the main man right in front of us. So what is at the top of your date list this season? If you answered “nothing,” or “folding laundry,” keep reading—because I get you.
It’s not that we don’t love our husbands, right? It’s that we’re just.so.tired. After a long day checking things off the list, intimacy is often the last thing on my mind. I just want to unwind and relax. Trouble is, my husband’s idea of relaxing and mine can look very different—IYKWIM.
Does this sound familiar? “Hot monogamy, you say? I just want to sleep!”
Statistics tell us that men and women struggle to find time for intimacy in their marriage. In fact, most married couples I speak to tell me that one of the first areas in the relationship to take a hit when the stress of life comes is physical intimacy. It’s easy to put a tender caress to the bottom of the list amidst the busyness of life—when in reality, physical touch is one of the best de-stressors we have in marriage!
Three years ago, I was introduced to a series of videos that I knew were going to change the way my husband and I saw date night, and I was right. I figured I’d check them out and was so impressed, I’ve been sharing them with you for almost two years. Let’s just say I think you’re gonna love this idea. 🙂
Looks good, right? Show this to your man, ladies, because I know he’ll want to give it a try after seeing this video.
Massage gives mt husband and I the gift of relaxation, and time together to reconnect and spend time with each other— just the two of us.
Massage gives mt husband and I the gift of relaxation, and time together to reconnect and spend time with each other— just the two of us. A simple massage, with some essential oils combined with Melt’s Oil, allows me to focus on how my body feels. For me, and many other women, that’s 9/10th of the struggle. When I’m focusing on my body and my husband, rather than my to-do list, good things happen for both of us.
Forget “50 Shades of Grey.” The real thing is better.
Marriage should be a passionate love affair that never gets boring.
In short, monogamy should be hot!
If you’ve “lost that loving feeling,” here’s my challenge: This month, mark a few nights off on your calendar (yes, in the middle of the to do list!) and make an evening of relaxing together. If you enjoy wine, put the kids to bed and take some wine and cheese to your room. Light a candle (or ten, if you’re candle-obsessed like me), turn your favorite music on, put your favorite essential oils in your diffuser, and watch these videos together. (I tell you my 5 favorite things about them at the end, so keep reading!)
Not sure where to start? Check out MELT as you make your plans. Not gonna lie: When I told Jay I was looking into this last year, his smile said it all. We have loved using these this year!
Build Intimacy and Trust in Your Marriage through Massage. Here’s Why It Works:
1. Massaging each other is an opportunity to slow down… together
High-speed internet. 24 hour email access. Real-time status updates. Is it just me? Or does the world seem to spin faster these days? Sitting down to a decadent massage together provides a rare opportunity to stop and be together, focused entirely on each other. For just 30 minutes, you can dim the lights, play some soft music and treat each other to a muscle-melting massage. This is a wonderful escape for multi-tasking wives and the husbands who love them.
2. Massage in marriage is a 100% “hands-on” experience
It doesn’t take a marriage therapist to tell you that giving your spouse a massage enhances your intimate connection and builds trust in your marriage. Intimacy is a requirement for healthy relationships, but it doesn’t always come automatically. We need to make space and time to foster our intimate connections, and massaging each other is one very simple way to do that. On top of the time you spend together, you very literally have your hands on each other, helping to reinforce the intimate bond. As you start to work knots from aching muscles and your partner falls back into you, you can take that as a sign of complete trust. The entire experience is seriously incredible. And, if you are both so inclined (and I promise you, it will be hard not to be) it can lead to wonderfully intimate and steamy sex, too.
3. Massage speaks to several “love languages” at once
Treating your husband to a massage is a beautiful way to show him that he’s very much appreciated and loved. In fact it hits almost every Love Language, if you think about it. Massage very clearly speaks to the Physical Touch love language, of course. But if you think about it, it’s also Quality Time spent together, it’s an Act of Service (especially if you don’t ask for one in return!), and if you play your cards right it can make for a gorgeous gift… just package up some massage oil and a scented candle in a big bow and then go on to actually massage your husband and watch him melt with joy.
A couple of years ago I visited my massage therapist several times, due to complications from a surgery. The last time I saw her, I asked how I could teach my husband to do some of her techniques at home. “Training,” was all she said. So imagine my excitement when Denis Merkas, a Registered Massage Therapist, contacted me about the MELT: Massage for Couples video series that he did with his wife Emma. I was really excited (and not just because I got to watch the videos, too!).
Denis shows couples that massaging properly is easier than you think! I really do think this can lead to closer marriages, and can help to reduce stress for both of you. If you’re worried that your husband will never understand how much you need massage, ask him to watch these with you and practice what you’ve learned together. It’s a great way to bring something new and needed into our marriages and invest in our future. Even the arrangement of how you sit is no mistake. Before any technique was created, or routine designed—Denis and his wife researched the most romantic way to position our bodies, because the bed simply wasn’t good enough.
It’s easy too! Denis recommends you stage your massage experience into three separate date nights… “it’s unlike anything you’ve ever done before. Simply add oil and follow along to the videos online. Use your iPad, Laptop, or even SMART TV—the videos are device ready.”
Here are a few things I loved about the MELT series:
1. Denis keeps things PG-rated.
Sure, there’s romantic music and the couple is massaging each other, but clothes stay on, and the focus is on learning how to give a massage. (Yes, she’s wearing a strapless top, but that’s so you can see the proper technique on her shoulders). As Denis says, if things lead somewhere else, that’s fine—but that’s not what his video series is trying to teach you. So you don’t have to worry that this is pornographic in nature! It isn’t—it really is just about learning technique.
2. We learned that we were doing massage wrong—and how to do it right.
These videos break down our misconceptions about massage—which shows what we’re doing wrong—and how to do massage right! (hint: no thumbs allowed!) I have now become the massage favorite during movie night at our house. It’s easy!
3. The videos are short to watch together.
Each video broken down into short tutorials that are under 5 minutes in length. Each focus is on learning one technique. About 6 videos form a series, and there are 3 series altogether: The Basic Strokes, the Highlights, and the Deep Tissue stuff. The Basic Strokes Series teaches you how to actually move your hands to achieve maximum impact–and maximum ooohs and aaaahs.
You’ll watch 7 short videos and learn a new technique with each one, and then at the end there’s a 15 minute video that features a routine using all your new techniques. The Deep Tissue Series focuses on how to use your thumbs to really work out knots. It’s so helpful—and at the end is a 30 minute routine that you can use on each other.
4. Everything builds on each other.
It’s amazing! Each night you feel like you’ve learned something new, and at the end of the series, you will have confidence in your technique and understanding of how massage works.
5. They’re easy to watch together and do together.
(Translation: great date night!) You just watch one of the short ones a night and then practice on each other. Because you’re watching the technique, it’s easy to say, “I’ll go first, then you try it.” Or, to make it more enticing for him, let him massage you first. That way you can’t fall asleep because you have to massage him afterwards—so he won’t worry that if he massages you the night will be over because you’ll be in dreamland. I’ve been saying a lot on this blog that it is so important to start going to bed together at the same time so that you have opportunity to connect.
Instead of watching one more show on Netflix, or browsing Pinterest, or playing one more round of Words with Friends, this gives you a reason to head to bed.
You watch a video, pull out some massage oil, and then do it! And as you touch, it does help nerves to fire. If that leads to something else, woo hoo! As someone who does carry a lot of stress physically, massage is such a service to me and helps me feel closer to my husband.
So many men carry stress on their backs and necks, too, and if we can learn to release that, we can actually change the dynamic in the marriage.
I hope you’ll make this no-brainer investment in your marriage and check out MELT: Massage for Couples.
I dare you to try it and not have fun. 🙂
Give each other a romantic back rub at home—it’s the perfect date idea. Dim lights, scented candles, and massage oilmakes for the most memorable date you’ve had in a longtime!
The school busses are running in my neighborhood again. And can I just be honest about something for a moment? This can be hard time of year for the “regular school” and “homeschool” moms to understand each other. Sometimes it can be downright depressing to watch other moms send their kids off to school. I know, I know— I CHOSE this. I get it. But still. Reality is reality—and homeschooling has it’s own reality. Good, but hard. Like all things that are worth it.
Listen. My best friend in the whole wide world sends her kids to “regular” school and so this is NOT a “dig” , it’s just a reality check.
This morning I saw a status from a friend who was “elated” to finally have her children back in school… she was going to the mall by herself to celebrate… oh the plans she had, 7 hours to herself every day! No messy house. Peace and quiet. I confess: I felt the familiar sting of jealousy mixed with a bit of angst about all that was ahead for me this fall.
After all, this isn’t my first rodeo! I’ve been at this for twenty years.
I looked around my house. Grandkids, cousins, siblings. Noise. (Some are even happy noises.) Messy house. Oh.So.Messy. And then, it hit me again: homeschooling is a MONUMENTAL COMMITMENT.
And it’s not for everyone.
Homeschooling families CHOOSE
—more messy house days
—more math
—less “me” time
—less “quiet” time
—less income, most of the time
—less trips to the mall…or anyplace else… alone 🙂
But here’s the thing. IN RETURN, if we do not lose heart, if we stay the course, the reward far exceeds the commitment we’re making.
Why? Because in choosing many of the things on my “less” list, we’re also choosing MORE. Homeschool mom, you’re CHOOSING
—more involvement, which means more influence with your children
—more TIME with your children, which means more memories to cherish and to use the influence you have
—more childhood, thanks to just being home more
—more opportunities to shape hearts and minds
—more educational options to meet individual needs
—more interaction, more hugs, more TIME. Did I mention more time? Oh yes, I did.
—more flexibility.
So homeschool mom, you’ve got this.
When I think about it this way, my heart is strengthened. In this light, less really is “more”. There are no “easy” buttons for educating our children, no matter what we choose to do. But as homeschooling moms, you’re making a commitment to put your heart and soul into the lives of your children in a way that many people would not ever choose to do.
Will it be hard? You know it will. But it will also be worth it.
So take a deep breath, homeschool mom! Let’s embrace the opportunity we have been given and make the most of the incredible opportunity called the homeschool years. They really do go by quickly. <3
#hsjpodcast contest winners: Please e-mail Melissa with your mailing address by September 7 and we’ll get your swag on the way!
I hope you guys don’t mind if I cut right to the chase today… because this is important.
Do you know what happened last week while our nation was arguing over Civil War statues? While demons were pouring gasoline on racial tensions in the US and re-igniting our deep offense toward the Confederate Army (I can’t believe I just typed that in 2017) Oregon Governor Kate Brown quietly signed the nation’s most devastating abortion bill into law.
Last week, just days after the horrible events in Charlottesville took place, Oregon made sure it’s position was secure as the most radical provider of unrestricted abortions in the nation. Oregon’s House Bill 3391-B compels insurers, public or private, to provide a whole swathe of “reproductive services” free of cost and regardless of income, insurance type, citizenship status, or gender identity. Because the bill prohibits insurers from shifting costs to customers in the form of higher deductibles or co-pays, private insurers will be forced to eat the costs — or, more likely, to distribute them among their customers through higher premiums. Medicaid (read: Planned Parenthood) will receive an extra $10 million from the state to cover the procedures. That’s ten MILLION DOLLARS of Oregonians money going to the murder of innocent babies up to nine months gestation for any reason, including gender selection.
Of course, the major media outlets aren’t talking about this American tragedy. No, they’re too busy trying to stir up an angry debate about slavery that was decided during the Civil War. It’s as if we have forgotten who won the war! The outcome of the Civil War determined that slavery in this nation will not stand. And indeed, it does not. Christians all around the world should stand in stark opposition to the evil that is racism—and certainly slavery—but can I suggest that something even more sinister than racism is at the heart of our struggle over statues?
It’s curious to me that old statues getting the attention of popular preachers and teachers while abortion, the horrific murder of babies in the womb that is happening now gets little to no pulpit time. Oregon says that they’ll use taxpayer money to fund your sex-change surgery and your gender-selection abortion… and all we hear is … nothing. The silence is deafening. Where is the outrage over that? Black women are aborting their babies at an alarming rate compared to every other culture in America and we want to march about statues? We are losing thousands of precious black women every year in this country. Feminists? Where are you?
The standard by which we measure offense as Christians needs to be re-calibrated, and fast.
We have lost our way, men and women of God! We have made an idol out of our right not to be offended. Tell me, what good is going to come of this? Do we really want to teach our children to march in the streets because we are offended over statues while real, live babies are callously ripped from their mother’s wombs?
Listen. Offense is a trap; a snare set by the devil to distract us from what really matters, and boy are we stepping on almost every trap the devil is setting right now. It seems that every time I turn on the news, another trap is springing shut. SNAP! Can you hear it, too?
The Bible teaches us that we should be on guard against the snares of the enemy. One of those is the snare of offense. At the risk of boring you, I looked something up. The Greek word for “offense” is skandalon, which literally means the part of an animal trap where bait is hung! In other words, an offense is literally a trap.
We need to understand this deep in our souls and guard against it, because if we’re in a battle (and the Bible clearly says we are), it makes perfect sense that the devil would choose to use offenses to trap and enslave us. Satan lays all kinds of traps for us, and I’m convinced he hunts among the hurting. Think about it— when people offend us, we get angry and hold grudges. Grudges lead to unforgiveness, which leads to broken relationships, or in this case, racial division.
The fact of the matter is that many offenses are going to come our way in this life. When they do, we get to choose how we respond. We can choose to not be offended. In Colossians 3:13, Paul reminds us that we should be “bearing with one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.”
And there’s more: while we’re allowing ourselves to get drug into the swamp of offense, a coup is taking place. We’ve forgotten to keep our eyes out for the REAL enemy. Our enemy, the devil, comes to steal, kill and destroy. Right now, he’s taking direct aim at destroying our unity in Christ.
Offense is one of the enemy’s most powerful weapons, and its primary purpose is to keep us from growing in power and strength in the Lord. Offended people are ineffective in the spiritual battle that we have been called to engage in, because when we are offended, we focus on our own pain, often at the expense of others. The devil uses the snare of offense to take us off the battlefield and ultimately out of the war. His goal: to sideline Christians who would otherwise be effective witnesses for the Lord.
A heart that is easily offended is in trouble. It’s a biblical truth that the pure in heart hear from God more readily than those who are full of bitterness: “Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God” (Matthew 5:8, kjv). A heart that is full of offenses and unforgiveness isn’t a pure heart. If we want to hear from God, we have to refuse to allow offenses to rule and reign in our lives. Even big ones.
There’s no question: forgiving the big things is hard. But Jesus, who knows all too well the pain of rejection, doesn’t give us an option. He made it clear: we are to forgive anything against anyone.
“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” Mark 11:25
The next time you find yourself struggling with feelings of offense, ask yourself, “Does this offense warrant the emotional and spiritual energy I am giving it? Are there larger issues in play? Am I doing what Jesus commanded?” Jesus’ requirement that we forgive carries eternal consequences with it, and the devil knows it.
The devil loves it when we get drawn into offenses – because he’s got his sights set on a much bigger target: the human soul. He’ll use whatever he can to distract us from the goal of setting people free in Christ. And that’s the bottom line. Paul tells us to “be eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:3). It’s the Holy Spirit that encourages that unity in the body of Christ. “In one Spirit we were all baptized into one body — Jews or Greeks, slaves or free — and all were made to drink of one Spirit” (1 Corinthians 12:13).
Christians who proclaim Christ, cherish truth and love others should also pursue unity, because we have been designed by God to be ambassadors for Him: witnesses to the world of the love of Christ. The apostle John makes clear what our aim should be: “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:34–35).
We must stop making government our god and return to our first love. Until we do that, healing will elude this nation. John Piper said, “The bloodline of Jesus Christ is deeper than the bloodlines of race. The death and resurrection of the Son of God for sinners is the only sufficient power to bring the bloodlines of race into the single bloodline of the cross.”
Let’s not forget what our call really is: to bring the gospel to a hurting world. We can’t do that until we’re willing to let the gospel eclipse everything else in our lives.
Suffering. There is something revealing about it. Something about visceral pain that says to the inner man, “Wake up and pay attention!” Something about feeling helpless in a waiting room that makes you realize how helpless you were before you ever got there.
We don’t ask to suffer, but it comes anyway—and when it does, you discover *for real* what you are made of and who you trust.
It’s been almost a week since our sweet nephew was involved in a devastating car accident that left him comatose and paralyzed with a severe brain injury. My heart is aching, at times, even breaking for my precious sister and her family. Words fail me. I put myself in my sister’s place. More hurt.I find myself asking God for signs … *any sign*, if I’m honest, that says “I’m here. I’m doing something.”
We pray. We sing. We trust—we hope—and we wait.
Wait for an answer that will help us make sense of what seems senseless. Wait for the next MRI, wait for a glimpse of what God is asking of us. Wait for clear direction. Oh, the wait is excruciating.
This is a hard, hard road.
Last night, as I cried with one of my sisters on the phone, it occurred to me that I need to look beyond where Bobby is and begin to look at where my family is. There is so much more to the story than what social media can tell. Isn’t that always the case?
We are a large family… and we’ve been through a lot. We love each other fiercely. But honestly? I’ve never seen my family like this. I’ve never seen such love, such unity, such hope. But then, we’ve never been so full of grief before.
Like most extended families, ours has struggled. Divorce, faithlessness, heartache. Prodigals. We’ve felt all of it, but nothing has done in our hearts what Bobby’s injury is doing. Nothing has come close.
God is using Bobby’s suffering to bring a supernatural healing, one that is being forged in the fires of suffering.
While we wait for Bobby’s healing, I give God thanks for getting our attention and reminding us of what really matters.
It’s love.
Because of Bobby, it’s bubbling to the surface in our family, in our community and in the larger body of Christ.
We trust in the goodness of God and know that He is working, even now. Not only is He healing Bobby, he is healing us.
That’s part of the miracle. While we wait the next step with Bobby, we will keep walking this out together. For that, I am grateful. I am grateful for the outpouring of prayer and love that is being shown to my family. I’m thankful that because of Christ, we do not fear death. I’m thankful to know that God is capable of performing heart surgery (you know, the soul kind) even while is holding and healing Bobby.
I’m thankful for you, Jesus. We praise you in this storm. Thank you that You’re fighting on our behalf. Thank you for the miracles we are already seeing—and ones we have yet to see.
“You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.'”
2 Chronicles 20:17
Twelve years ago I had three babies three years and under and I was a wreck. I was a total wreck both physically and emotionally. And I was pretty hopeless that life would ever be any different for me.
