Author Archives: Heidi St. John

About Heidi St. John

Heidi has been married to her husband Jay since 1989. Together they have seven children and three grandchildren! The St. Johns homeschooled their kids all the way through high school. Heidi is the the author of seven books, host of the popular podcast "Off the Bench," and the founder of MomStrong International, an online community of women learning God's Word and how to apply it to every day life. She and her husband Jay are also the founders of Firmly Planted Family and the Firmly Planted Homeschool Resource Center, located in Vancouver, Washington.

Don’t Be Afraid. God Always Shows Up

 

Of all the wonderful stories in the Bible, the story of David and Goliath remains one of my favorites. Just imagining this young boy loading a small stone into a slingshot and stepping onto the battlefield in the name of the Lord strengthens my own resolve to be courageous.

The reality is that we all face different kinds of giants in our lives. The question isn’t whether they’ll show up; it’s whether we’ll have the courage to load our own stones into our own slingshots when the time comes.

Several years ago, I decided it was time to face a huge giant in my life. That giant’s name was Fear. For me, facing this giant meant risking my reputation as a “put-together” mom, author, and speaker by sharing one of my most personal struggles: the childhood trauma I faced, along with the years of crippling anxiety I experienced as a result.

I’ll never forget the first time I stepped onstage with the intention of telling the truth about this tender part of my life. I knew God had asked me to address the very real problem of domestic abuse within the church while speaking to a group of homeschooling women. The only way to do it with authority was to be honest about the abuse I’d experienced growing up.

I prayed for weeks in advance about what I’d say, and every time I even thought about it, Fear (and his henchman, Adrenaline) would hijack my mind and my body. My hands got clammy, my heart raced, and my anxiety soared. But all the while, God was teaching me to recognize the spirit of fear and reminding me to remain in Him.

The day I took the stage to share what had previously been known only to close friends and family, it felt very much like I was picking up a stone and chucking it with all my strength at the giant that had held me hostage most of my adult life. Sometimes the only way to do something is to do it afraid.

Do you know what happened when I took aim at that giant? God showed up. When I obeyed the Lord, something miraculous happened: He began to set me free. As I testified to God’s unfailing love in the middle of my trials, I saw tears rolling down the faces of many of the women in the audience. The response was overwhelming.

That day I learned that the devil doesn’t want us to share our struggles. He wants us to feel that we’re all alone. Isn’t that what the devil does best? He tries to keep us from knowing the truth. To my surprise, I was learning that I was far from alone in my struggle. God wanted to use my story, including the broken parts, even as I was still finding my own healing.

We all have different fears we battle against. But one common characteristic about most fears is that they stem from the lies we believe. Maybe Satan has whispered some of these lies into your ears at some point:

You’re not strong enough.
Your past has determined your future.
Everything depends on you.
You’ve failed too many times.
You can’t do this right.
You’re screwing up your kids.
Everyone else’s kids are doing better than yours.

When I say these statements out loud, I know they’re lies, but somehow in the quiet of my heart, they sound different. They sound believable.

As a young mother, I struggled to differentiate between the voice of the enemy and my own insecurities. I had grown up hearing stories about the lineup of courageous people of the Bible. I knew all about Joshua and the battle of Jericho, I could tell you all the ways Mary was brave, and I could quote a whole bunch of verses about faith—but it was just “Christianese.” I knew the stories of courage, but I couldn’t translate them into power for my own life.

Can you relate? We need a giant-sized slingshot to face the giants in our own lives. Thankfully, God supplies slingshots when we ask Him to. He’s good like that.

I know all this talk of courage can sound kind of cliché, so let me unpack it for you just a little. MomStrong moms recognize that courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s the decision to act in the face of fear. When we face our fears in faith, what we’re really doing is allowing the Holy Spirit to be who He says He is: bigger than our fear.

When we pick up our slingshots and take aim at our giants through the power of the Holy Spirit, our aim will be sure. Fear is no match for the Lord of heaven’s armies. According to the Bible, God is pretty good at helping amateurs like David to make their aim count. It took only one stone to take down the giant Philistine.

The same is true for us. When our trust is in the Lord, courage finds its feet. My grandmother once said, “God is faithful, or He isn’t. He’s good, or He isn’t.” There’s no such thing as halfhearted faith—we need to go all in. The way we respond to trials is our opportunity to put feet to our faith.

If you’re struggling to find courage in the midst of a battle, it’s okay. Our faithful God knows every part of you. He sees every hurt and knows every detail of the fears you’re facing. MomStrong moms have uncommon courage, because their courage comes from God Himself. Where God’s love is found, His courage is not far behind, because the Word tells us that perfect love drives out fear (see 1 John 4:18). Uncommon courage is God’s gift to every fearful mom who decides she can take Him at His word, not matter what she is facing. Watch and see—He will prove Himself faithful.

Adapted from Becoming MomStrong: How to Fight with All That’s in You for Your Family and Your Faith by Heidi St. John.

What Does it Mean to Be MomStrong?

 

Have you ever looked into the faces of the people who call you mom and wondered what in the world you got yourself into? Do you ever feel weak and unqualified for the position that is often referred as “a sacred calling”? Have you ever wished you could transport yourself and your kids back to a simpler time—a time when schools taught math and reading, there was no such thing as the Internet, and churches taught the truth?

I have. Maybe, like me, you’re surrounded by fifteen tons of cold, wrinkled laundry and you know you need to go the grocery store, but frankly you just don’t care if your tribe eats tonight or not. (Why do they want dinner every. single. night?)

If you’re like me, you’ve been reading the headlines and watching the rapid-fire changes that are taking place in our culture with a fair degree of frustration and fear. Let’s face it: moms today are being asked to deal with more than just the “basics” of motherhood; we’re grappling with questions that previous generations never even saw coming. We’re constantly assaulted by questions about everything from gender identity to the safety of vaccines.

Today’s mothers need a special kind of strength. Yes, we need to be physically strong, but we also need strength of conviction and spiritual fortitude. Today’s moms need to be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. We dare not rely on human strength for the current battles we’re facing in culture.

I’ve never met a mom who didn’t want to raise strong, healthy kids, but there’s a caveat: we can’t give our kids what we don’t have ourselves. Our children need us to stand up in a culture that is literally shouting “stand down!”

The schools will tell you that they know better than you do. Don’t believe them. The media will tell you that truth is whatever anyone wants it to be and that the role of parents isn’t that important. Don’t buy it.

Voices from your past might whisper, You’re not ready for this. Don’t listen. You can do this! You—the mom in the midst of it all—have been set apart for a job that only you can do: to train your children to hear God’s voice and to walk in the truth no matter where our culture is heading.

You might be tempted to shrink back from the challenge or let someone you think is smarter or stronger than you take over. But I want to encourage you—for the sake of your children—to engage in the battle. It’s no accident that you’re here right now. This is a special generation of mothers who has been called to shepherd a special generation of children.

God wants to use this generation of mothers to do something extraordinary: to be strong in the Lord, to know who you are in Christ, and to impart that strength to your kids.

In other words, He wants you to be MomStrong!

Make no mistake: motherhood is tough, and it’s not for the faint of heart. In my twenty-six years of parenting our seven children, I’ve learned how weak I can be and how strong God is. I’ve come to believe that God wants to use my role as a mother to give me a glimpse into His Father-heart for all His children. After all, He knows I’m going to need it for the mission I’m on with my own kids.

And yes, whether you’re aware of it or not, if you’re a mom, you do have a mission—to raise the next generation of teachers, doctors, judges, police officers, grocery store clerks, attorneys, and nurses. Truly, the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. But wait—there’s more. You are also raising the next generation of parents! Look around. It doesn’t take long for one generation to hand the baton to the next. And it’s up to you, Mom, to make sure that when the time comes, your children are strong enough in the Lord to accept the challenge themselves.

What a high calling motherhood is! Our culture may have reduced it to little more than a stopover on the way to something else, but the truth is that motherhood is sacred. You, Mom, are shaping the future, one little heart at a time. Everything else pales in comparison.

If you aren’t sure where to get the strength you’ll need for the journey, keep reading, because this beautifully broken mother of seven would like to give you a gentle hug and a high-five as I point you to the true wellspring of life and strength: Jesus. By the way, it’s okay if you don’t feel strong. None of us start out strong. The good news is that God doesn’t require strength for the journey; He offers it. He wants to make us strong, but we have to truly want His strength in order to find it. How do we want it? By acknowledging our own weakness.

It may feel a little frightening at first, this admission of weakness. But take it from someone who has been there: coming to terms with weakness is liberating. When we finally admit we can’t do it on our own and look to Jesus, we’re about to be set free. Free from the past. Free from the tyranny of other people’s expectations. Free from worry. Free to love. Free to grow. Free to move with confidence into the future. Exchanging our past for a future in Christ and claiming His strength is where becoming MomStrong begins.

In Christ, you are more than a conqueror. You are strong, safe, sealed, and secure. You are a channel of the love and life of God for your children.

So where do we start? How can we stand up and be strong in a culture that marginalizes mothers and puts children at risk by its very definition of family? We go back to the beginning. God has already given us the blueprint for becoming MomStrong, and that blueprint is found in the Bible. He has entrusted us with bringing up the next generation, and He says that His strength is made perfect in weakness.

It doesn’t matter where you started. Your inexperience makes you the perfect candidate to receive direction from the One who knows your kids better than you do. Your past doesn’t need to define your future. God is in the business of redemption! He makes things new. Strength comes from Him.

By God’s grace, we can be strong enough to show the next generation that we serve a mighty God. By God’s grace, we can all become MomStrong!

Adapted from Becoming MomStrong: How to Fight with All That’s in You for Your Family and Your Faith by Heidi St. John.

Mom, You Have Been Put Here for Such a Time as This

 

I have been homeschooling my kids for almost two decades now, and we have an art/music/library/spare room that also functions as a schoolroom. Taped around the room, near the ceiling, there is a timeline of world history. If you can look past the part where our parrot gnawed holes from 1600 to 1890 and see beyond the coffee stains near the life of Florence Nightingale, you might still appreciate our simple, tattered attempt at understanding all the extraordinary events we’ll never be able to witness ourselves. It’s no Sistine Chapel ceiling, but it tells a story just the same.

My husband, Jay, and I have always explained to our children that history is something worth digging into, because history is more than just a series of dates on a timeline. History is really HIStory—God’s story—the unfolding of the Master’s plan. We only get to witness about .001 percent of it, but we can appreciate the rest through the rearview mirror.

There are a lot of important dates and people on our timeline: the birth of Christ, the reign of Napoleon, world wars, the Holocaust, and the great revivals. Look closer and you’ll see images of Beethoven, missionary Gladys Alyward, and President Ronald Reagan. There’s even a little sticker that celebrates the birth of the United States.

And in 1967, nestled between the appointment of the first African American Supreme Court Justice and the assassination of President Robert Kennedy, God did something amazing in the life of the St. John family. In 1967, God decided it was time for Jay St. John to become part of HIStory. And so, on a cool October day, Jay was born into the care of his mom and dad, Lou and Jerry St. John. Not too much later, in 1970, God determined that it was time for me to become part of HIStory. In 1989, our two lives became one, and HIStory continued to unfold as we became parents ourselves.

We learn a lot together in our little schoolroom, but one of the most important things I want our children to know is the role they play in God’s story. God’s purposes are eternal, and each child He gives us, like Esther, has been born “for such a time as this.”

I want each of my seven children to know that God put them on this earth with a unique purpose. Their births were no less significant in God’s economy than the birth of George Washington or Elisabeth Elliot. Their lives are precious, and I want them to know why. I want our children to learn about men and women who followed God (and those who rejected him) throughout history, because I want them to see that they are just as much a part of God’s story as anyone else whose picture graces our worn-out timeline.

So why tell you about my tattered and yellowed timeline? Because in order for us to train our children for their own journeys of faith, we need to see ourselves on the continuum of HIStory. God is always at work: and He has placed you right here, right now, for such a time as this—to help prepare your children for the war that lies ahead!

Make no mistake: in the midst of homework assignments, chores, and the seemingly mundane conversations you have every day with your children, you are preparing warriors—warriors who will be asked to answer the tough questions culture is asking, asked to give an answer for the hope that lies within them (see 1 Peter 3:15). You are preparing warriors who at some point will be asked to choose between following God’s law and following the culture. And in order to prepare warriors, you have to become a warrior yourself.

If you’ve never thought of yourself as a warrior, it’s okay. Most moms don’t come into motherhood thinking they’re enlisting for battle. Mothers are life givers. We’re nurturers. We plan meals and put on Band-Aids and give hugs . . . unless you mess with our babies. Am I right? Mess with a mama’s babies, and you’ll see a warrior born right before your eyes! But make no mistake: we are at war. We’re at war with a culture that blurs the lines between right and wrong, a culture that devalues the sanctity of human life, a culture that marginalizes the family values God put in place. In short, we’re at war with the enemy of our souls. We’re at war with the one the Bible teaches has one purpose: “to kill and steal and destroy” (John 10:10). It’s serious business, this job of training up the next generation.

A MomStrong mom understands that she is a warrior, not just for her kids but for the generations that follow. Even more important, because she sees herself as a warrior, a MomStrong mom is willing to fight for what God says is worth fighting for. She uses the sword of truth to cut a swath through the lies of the enemy. The apostle Peter tells us exactly who this enemy is: “Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8).

If we’re going to raise a generation of strong children and strong families, we must learn to engage our enemy rather than run from him. The good news is that although Satan is a powerful adversary, God is mightier still. If we remain alert and walk in a right relationship with God, we will always have the upper hand over our enemy.

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Zephaniah 3:17. In it, the heart of our Father is seen so clearly:

The Lord your God is living among you.
He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
With his love, he will calm all your fears.
He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.

This verse has been such a comfort to me as I have come to know my Savior. In my own journey to becoming MomStrong, I’ve realized that I can trust God even in the midst of a fierce battle. He is aware of the struggles we face. His heart is for us.

MomStrong moms know that they are engaged in a battle, but they don’t let the fear of the battle distract them from the truth. They know that their children need to see that their mom trusts God no matter what happens in this life.

Precious mom, God understands the magnitude of the struggle you are facing, and He wants you to trust Him even as you raise your children in a frightening world. So take courage! God has already let us know exactly what we can expect from Him as we face trials and struggles. There is nothing we will face that God won’t give us sustaining grace for. He will never leave us or forsake us. He never has, and He never will.

Adapted from Becoming MomStrong: How to Fight with All That’s in You for Your Family and Your Faith by Heidi St. John.

Too Much on Your Plate?

 

Six years ago, when my blog was starting to take off and I was accepting more speaking opportunities, I realized something. No—that’s not entirely true. It was more like my kids called a meeting. They elected a representative to make their first appeal. Savannah approached me as I was working in the kitchen. “Mom? Can we talk? Would you like some tea?”

I hesitated for a minute.

“Can you sit down for a minute?” she continued. “The kids sent me to talk to you.”

Uh-oh. This could not be good.

“We’ve been talking, and here’s the thing, Mom. You know the Egyptian sarcophagus that we started making last year for world history? Well, we never finished it. And remember that time you said we were going to go on a walk every day and pretend we were explorers like Lewis and Clark? Well, we only went for two walks. And remember . . .?” This went on for what felt like five minutes before she finally concluded, “We don’t think you’re fun anymore.”

In an instant, everything I’d promised God I would work on with my kids—patience, maturity, good listening—was forgotten. I was instantly mad and hurt. I felt like giving up, but instead I just lashed out.

“Oh really?” I said. “Well, right back at you! I don’t think you’re much fun either! When was the last time you offered to help me clean up the sarcophagus mess without being asked? Huh? That’s why I quit! And I didn’t like taking walks every day since all you kids did was argue about who found what first! So I guess it goes both ways, doesn’t it?”

Savannah looked at the floor, avoiding my icy stare. “Well, I guess I’ll tell the kids.” And with that, she got up quietly and left me alone with a baby on my lap and a badly bruised ego. I suppose a good mom would have gone after her and apologized, but I was just so tired. And I confess—I was embarrassed, too. Kids see the real us, don’t they?

In my effort to make everyone happy, it seemed I wasn’t making anyone happy. Including myself. I was struggling to keep up with daily life. I was easily irritated. Things that used to bring me joy no longer did. I needed to hit the reset button.

I know it’s tempting to think we can do it all. But in the past twenty years, I’ve met many gifted moms—bloggers, authors, organic gardeners, homeschool superstars, speakers, nurses, doctors, attorneys, and foster moms—and guess what? I’ve never met one, myself included, who can do it all. Sometimes you just have to let go and trust that God has everything under control. If I were sitting with you right now, I’d look you right in your beautiful mama-eyes and remind you that you can trust God. He has a plan, and I promise, it doesn’t include burning you out and leaving your family resentful and sad.

If we’re going to be strong as mothers, we have to start being honest about where we invest our time and energy. Brutally honest. The rise of antianxiety medication in our culture is telling. It seems that despite all the advantages modern technology affords us, we’re a generation of stressed-out mothers.

As a recovering control freak, I’m here to tell you something: most of the stress in your life comes because you put it there. (Don’t get mad at me!) Let’s think this through for a moment. Sure, there are things that happen that are outside our control. Children get sick. Jobs end. For the most part, the truly bad things that happen to us are unplanned and largely unpreventable. Am I suggesting that you stop buckling your kids into their car seats since we can’t control our futures? Absolutely not. Do what you can—and then live your life in such a way that your children can see where your trust is.

But when we live our lives in a pressure cooker of our own design, what we’re saying to our children is that we don’t believe God is capable of handling the problems and struggles life throws at us. When we believe God is in control of our circumstances, we free ourselves to move from stress into a position of strength. It all comes back to priorities.

So what’s on your plate that shouldn’t be there? What can you remove or hand off to someone else? What outside activities have you committed to that aren’t yielding the return you hoped they would? What have you said yes to without first seeking the Lord? Are your children and husband getting the rest of you . . . or the best of you?

Tired mom, think with me for a minute. How many times have you been “too busy” to pray and access the divine power God wants to give us? How many times have we denied our souls the chance to drink from living water in favor of something else? If we’re honest, this is all too easy to do. It’s easy to become busy and forget that the job of mothering this generation has made us a target for the enemy of our souls.

Listen: Satan is a lot of things, but he’s no dummy. He knows that a weary, worn-out mom is going to be less likely to pray and read her Bible—and this is often where the cycle of fear and weakness begins. For example, have you ever felt the sting that comes from letting your flesh dictate your response to a mouthy child? I have! Oh, how I’ve regretted things I’ve spoken out of a weary, dry soul. When we allow ourselves to believe the lie that we can do this mothering thing apart from the grace of God, weariness starts to settle into the deep places of our hearts.

When I’m frustrated or tired, my human response to stress is often to phone a friend or find counsel from a good book or a speaker. Meanwhile, God is saying, I’m here! Come to Me, and I will give your battle-worn heart a rest. Let Me restore your heart.

The next time life throws you a curveball, stop and pray. Pray with your kids. Pray in the quiet of your own heart. Ask God to cover you, and then live like a woman who believes she is protected and loved. Remember, you’re a daughter of the King, and He wants to spend time with you. Just a few minutes each day reading the Bible and laying your burdens at His feet will make all the difference in the world.

Adapted from Becoming MomStrong: How to Fight with All That’s in You for Your Family and Your Faith by Heidi St. John. 

3 Steps to Taming Your Child’s Tongue, with Ginger Hubbard

“Did you really just say that?” I can’t even count how many times I have thought or said this in a moment of frustration and anger with one of my children. Yes, parenting is hard work — but Ginger Hubbard offers life-giving, practical solutions that even busy parents can implement today by pointing our children (and ourselves) back to the ultimate parenting manual: The Bible. Ginger is one of my favorite authors ever! You will be encouraged. ~ Heidi  xo


Mooooomy, I want some juuuiiice!” Whining
“You’re stupid!” Disrespecting
“Tommy’s not doing what you told him to do!” Tattling
“No, I’m not going to clean my room!” Disobeying
“I didn’t take a cookie from the jar!” Lying

What causes a child to speak such tender words as “I love you” and “You’re the best mommy in the world” in one breath and in the next say something terrible? Before I had children, whenever I thought about my future family, I envisioned happy, well-mannered little darlings who always obeyed. Boy, was I in for a rude awakening. What happened to all my plans for great parenting and well-behaved children? The stick turned blue. Twice.

In short order I became the mom who was consistently taken aback when her kids spoke foolishly, whether it was in the form of whining, lying, or talking back. With an expression of shock, I would ask, “Why do you act like that?” After a closer look at the Word of God, I realized I was asking the wrong question.

Jesus explained, “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of” (Matthew 12:34). In other words, there is merit to the old saying, “What’s down in the well comes up in the bucket.” Our sin does not begin with our mouths; it begins with our hearts. I slowly learned to quit asking, “Why does my child sin?” and began to ask myself, “When my child sins, how might I point him to the fact that he is a sinner in need of a savior? How might I help him understand and live in the power of the Gospel?”

Through much prayer and searching the Bible, I found that having a three-step plan of action for getting to the heart of behavior, reproving children biblically, and training children in righteousness can make a positive difference in how we respond to a child’s need for correction.

Catch a Podcast with Ginger Here!

Step 1: Getting to the Heart of Behavior
A wise parent will learn to move beyond the words of her child by addressing the issues of the heart. After all, if the heart is reached, the behavior will take care of itself. Jesus set the ultimate example for how to probe the heart of another in order to draw out what lies within. When dealing with sinners, Jesus did not shake his finger at their faces and tell them what they were doing wrong. Instead, He would ask thought-provoking questions in such a way that the person to whom he was talking had to take his focus off of the circumstances around him and onto the sin in his own heart. Heart-probing questions cause children to evaluate themselves, which helps them recognize their need for Christ.

Step 2: Reproving Your Child Biblically
In Matthew 18:15 God commands that we reprove those who are caught in sin. A biblical reproof exposes wrong by shedding light where there is darkness. Fortunately, God has faithfully provided us with all that we need to speak wisdom and truth into the hearts of our children. We need not look any further than the infallible Word of God. Once we have determined the issue of the heart that drives the outward behavior, we can then address the offense in accordance with Scripture.

Step 3: Training Your Child in Righteousness
It is never enough to tell kids what not to do; we must teach them what to do. In the book of Ephesians we are told to put off the old self and to put on the new self (4:22). Teaching children to “put off” wrong behavior comes naturally for parents, mainly because we find wrong behavior unpleasant, but the key to successful parenting is found in training them in righteousness. It is equally important, if not more important, that we teach our kids to replace what is wrong with what is right.


GINGER HUBBARD is a sought-after speaker, author, and an award-winning writer. She has spoken at hundreds of parenting conferences, mom’s events, and homeschool conventions across the country. She is a veteran homeschooling mother of two adult children and stepmom to two much-adored stepsons. She and her husband reside in Opelika, Alabama.

I Can’t Believe You Just Said That!: Biblical Wisdom for Taming Your Child’s Tongue: Are you ever embarrassed or shocked by what comes out of your child’s mouth? Do you raise your voice, threaten, and coerce, but find yourself frustrated because nothing seems to work?

In I Can’t Believe You Just Said That!, Ginger Hubbard provides a practical, three-step plan to reach beyond the behaviors of tongue-related struggles—such as lying, tattling, and whining—to address your child’s heart. After all, as Matthew 12:34 tells us, “the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”

By moving past the idea that parenting is about rigid rule-setting or behavior management, we can set aside ineffective practices such as scolding, ignoring the offense, or merely administering punishment. Instead, we start to see that our children’s outbursts are prime opportunities for the ultimate goal of all parenting: to guide them to the redemptive work of Jesus and his transformational power.


GIVEAWAYS!
Would you like a practical three-step plan for reaching beyond the behaviors of tongue related struggles—such as lying, tattling, whining, and complaining—to address your child’s heart? Be sure to sign up for a chance to win a free copy of my new book, I Can’t Believe You Just Said That!: Biblical Wisdom for Taming Your Child’s Tongue.

THREE WINNERS will be contacted via email on July 31st, and everyone who signs up for a chance to win will automatically receive two FREE mini-ebooks on How to Pray for Your Child and How to Lead Your Child to Christ!

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You Have More Control Than You Think

I want to let you in on a secret about writing Christian books. There’s a 100 percent guarantee that Jesus will get up in your face about the very topic you’re addressing. I wrote my first book about approval, so of course I struggled with wanting approval. I wrote my second book on happiness and then walked through an Eeyore-ish season in my life.

Well, I’m no dummy. That’s why I told Jesus I wanted to write a book on the topic of beaches. This was the ultimate spiritual throwdown. I was pretty sure I had brilliantly set myself up for a challenge from God: “Go forth, therefore, and determine the quality of beach sand in Maui and compare it to the beach sand in Tahiti.” Clearly, I am willing to suffer for Jesus.

But then I forgot about my beach-book idea. Instead, I wrote book on releasing control—because I needed that book. I had to release control a lot that year:

– when our oldest daughter started driving
– when our youngest daughter suffered with chronic illness
– when my mother was hospitalized for three months with a life-threatening infection, and my amputee father lived with us.

All of that happened while I was writing It’s All Under Control. During those trying months, I repeatedly found myself with my head in my hands, praying this prayer: Jesus take the wheel.

Yep, I needed the message of the book. Turns out, you needed it too.

Does it ever feel like the chaos in your life might break you? Have you ever cried so hard over your circumstances that you thought you might run yourself out of tears?

So much of life can feel out of control, and if you’re like me you end up feeling powerless. Looking back, sometimes you can see where things got off track. Other times, the trouble comes out of the blue. You did all the right things, yet the worst news came your way.

There’s so much in life that we can’t control:

Circumstances.
Weather.
Airport delays.
The tumor growing in unseen places.
The economy.
The political climate.
What people think about us.
How our kids will “turn out.”

But can I tell you a secret? We have more control than we think.

We are not powerless. Great freedom comes when we let go of what we can’t control, and rise up to take charge of what we can.

That’s why I’ve put together this list for you, “Things You Can Control.”Click here to download the print. Then frame it, tape it to your refrigerator, set it by your computer, or slip it in your journal.

Because of God at work in you, you have more power than you dared imagine.

Free printable: what you *can* control!
Of course, there are so many things that we can’t control. God can handle those for you.

Click here to download and print this list, “What God Can Handle,”  as a reminder that no matter what we can’t handle, God still can.
Free printable: what God *can* handle!

 


To hear more from Jennifer on my podcast,  listen here!


Jennifer Dukes Lee is the author of the forthcoming book, It’s All Under Control. In the book, now available for preorder, Jennifer walks you through a journey of letting go, hanging on and finding a peace you almost forgot was possible.

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Bring Your Best to the Table

This wasn’t just any table.
My mother had purchased it years ago at a yard sale and then decided it needed too much work and handed it down to me.
It was a family heirloom in need of a makeover.
It was two feet wide and eight feet long, with spindly legs and molding around the top that didn’t quite match. It was covered with nicks and dings, and the top had deep grooves from years of use.
But it was perfect for our home in Texas. It just needed someone with a vision—and some elbow grease. I sanded and refinished the entire surface so the original wood shone. I intended to refinish the legs as well, but there were too many grooves and nicks that I couldn’t sand, so I decided to paint them instead.
First, I painted the legs blue, and then I changed my mind and painted them black. Then I changed my mind again and painted the legs red. But it still wasn’t working.
Maybe I need to go simpler, I thought. Impatiently, I scrapped the whole red and blue and black thing and painted the legs white. Better, I thought. Much better. I reached for the sandpaper and started to distress the table’s legs.
At that moment, something incredible happened.
The more I sanded, the more amazing the finish became. Distressing the piece revealed layer upon layer of different colors under the white top coat. In some places, you could see hints of blue, and in other spots red and black peeked through the edges of the finish. Emboldened, I sanded harder and harder until the original wood finish mixed in with the layers of colors.
And somehow it all worked. When I was done, I could hear the faint strands of the “Hallelujah Chorus” winging their way from heaven.
The table was a showpiece.
Whenever people stopped by for a visit they commented on that table. Accolades poured in from far and wide.
My table and I would beam with pride and show off our legs and humble-brag about our painted coat of many colors. We’d silently tell ourselves how amazing we were and high-five each other after the guests left.
After traveling halfway across the country, the table arrived in Kentucky with us. My heart raced when the movers unpacked it and carried it down the ramp. It was like having one of my people right here with me in the Bluegrass State. It was time to get settled in our new home, my table and I.
When the last picture was in place, I looked around and decided it was time to have a party to introduce my new house to the neighborhood.
And my table? It was going to be the guest of honor at the festivities. I couldn’t wait to show it off.
When the day of the party arrived, my new friends streamed into the living room, and we laughed and talked like we were old friends. We munched on cupcakes and sipped sweet tea, and I gave them a tour of the house. At last, we arrived at the table.
I paused in front of my masterpiece and waited for the accolades. I waited for the oohs and ahhs and the wistful sighs. Instead, there was only silence.
My new friends looked at the table and then looked at me. They exchanged awkward smiles and then promptly turned back to their sweet tea.
Finally, one of my guests pulled me aside.
“Can I ask you a question?” she said in a stage whisper.
“Of course!” I smiled.
“I love your new home and all,” she said. “It’s decorated so pretty, and I love how you put everything together. I just had a quick question about the table.”
I turned to her with a grin. “I’d love to talk about the table.”
“I was thinking,” she said. “I love the size and shape of it, and I know it came from a yard sale and you probably haven’t had a chance to paint the legs yet. So, in the meantime, I have an extra tablecloth if you want to borrow it”
I stood speechless. A tablecloth?
I was stunned.
These people didn’t get me. They didn’t understand me or my table. I thought they would appreciate something new. Something different. Something unique and one of a kind.
I tried so hard, I thought. And then the tiniest of voices whispered to my heart.
Or did you? Did you try to fit in and learn more about your new friends, or did you simply set out to impress? Did you invite them into your home to make them feel welcome, or did you want to show them how you aren’t really from here, because truthfully, somewhere inside of you, you think you’re better?
Heart check.
In the silence of the room, even the table was raising its eyebrows at me.
I was wrong.
My new friends had shown me true friendship. They welcomed me and showered me with gifts and smiles and hugs, but I hadn’t really paid attention. I had overlooked all the welcome in my grand attempt to impress.
All along I had been thinking an almighty God had called us to this place and this town at this time in our lives for the lessons we were going to teach.
In reality, we were here for the lessons we were going to learn.


Have you ever felt like you were chasing tomorrow—never satisfied with today? I’ve been guilty of that in seasons of my life, and my guest has, too.  I know you’ll be encouraged by my friend, KariAnne Wood!
xo, Heidi

Adapted from So Close to Amazing, the debut memoir from beloved Thistlewood Farms blogger, KariAnne Wood. From Tyndale Momentum. Copyright © 2017. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved.
KariAnne Wood writes the decorating and lifestyle blog Thistlewood Farms from her project-filled historic home in Dallas, Texas. She recently followed God’s call and jumped back “home” with her family from the middle of the country to the busy Dallas metroplex where she lives with her husband and four children.
If you wander down the tree-lined streets of KariAnne’s beloved hometown, McKinney, you might find her painting mismatched chairs, listening to Christmas carols no matter the season, singing Scripture, or walking hand in hand with her knight-in-shining-armor husband to a Friday night football game. She loves sweet tea with lime, thunderstorms, good books, milk glass, and yard sales, and she is an imperfect DIYer saved by grace.
Thistlewood Farms is full of stories of family and faith and features hundreds of the home decor projects KariAnne creates every week for readers. The blog was awarded the Country Living Decorating Blog of the Year, was named one of the Top 10 Decorating Blogs by Better Homes and Gardens, and was voted one of the best DIY blogs of 2015. KariAnne has been featured in Better Homes and Gardens Christmas Ideas, Country Living, Flea Market Décor, Country Woman, HGTV Magazine, the Cottage Journal, the Chicago Tribune, Reloved, and This Old House magazine, and on popular websites including the Today show, Better Homes and Gardens, Country Living, Apartment Therapy, Good Housekeeping, Mediakix, Bob Vila, and BuzzFeed. KariAnne has made appearances on television programs including Nashville Channel 5’s Talk of the Town and Channel 8 in Dallas.