I like manuals. Lucky for me, most things come with one. Your car came with a manual. So did your TV and your Crock-Pot. Last week, I actually bought an eyeliner manual. You know, because, really, I’m just making that up as I go, too.

When it comes to parenting, there are a lot of great books out there. But MomStrong moms are looking for more than advice—we’re looking for wisdom. And God tells us that the beginning of wisdom is found in knowing the Lord (see Psalm 111:10). And the way we find out what God’s character is like is by reading His Word. Every other book out there (including this one) pales in comparison to that singular literary masterpiece. It’s the only book you need. In the early nineties, my husband, Jay, and I participated in a popular parenting class at our church with several other young couples. These were formative years for all of us, and we wanted to get it right.

We all did our best to follow the advice laid out in the book we were studying. It touched on virtually every aspect of parenting: there was a right way and a wrong way to feed babies, and there was a right way and a wrong way to do naptime and bedtime. It really was a formula for parenting. The trouble is, formulaic approaches to parenting don’t usually work, because each child is different. We learned very quickly that what worked for one child didn’t necessarily work for the next one, and so on.

Many of the lessons we learned in the class were excellent, but the hard and fast rules of the program set the stage for what turned into legalistic, performance-based parenting. It was as if there was a competition between the families in the class. Whose kids were the most polite? Which ones came as soon as they heard their names?

One morning in church, I noticed that my kids were arguing over something. Normally I would have just corrected the situation, but in this “parenting competition” I’d placed myself into, the stakes seemed higher. I felt like I had to crack down hard on the infraction. Suddenly, I felt like everyone was watching my children. It didn’t help that I was a pastor’s wife either. Every time the kids disobeyed me in church, I was deeply embarrassed for myself and my apparent lack of parenting know-how.

The comparison trap was stealing the joy from parenting—but worse than that, it had us all focused on a temporary obedience rather than gaining insight into the heart of the issues we were facing with our individual children. That pride and embarrassment put the focus solely on my children’s actions rather than on their hearts.

This is the real danger of formulaic parenting. Formulas tend to make parents believe that correct actions always indicate a contrite heart. Of course, that’s simply not true. A child can be made to sit down on the outside and still be standing on the inside. In the past twenty years, I’ve never met a mom who merely wanted her children to act like good kids. We want more than that for our kids—we want them to be good kids. Unfortunately, performance-based parenting often encourages just that—a performance.

Of course, reading advice from other godly people isn’t bad; we can glean much wisdom from believers who have walked the journey before us. But when we do all our learning from others and forget to spend time with the Lord, we’re in danger of winning the battle and losing the war.

The battles come in the form of everyday issues like getting your kids to put away their toys, sit still at the dinner table, and brush their teeth. But war is different: the stakes are higher. We’re talking about the hearts and minds of our children here—their character, their compassion, their moral foundation, and their capacity to love. The matters of preference are inconsequential; the matters of the heart and soul are eternal. MomStrong moms understand the difference, and while they don’t ignore the battles, they know that their primary focus must be on winning the war. When we stray from the Bible, we are in dangerous spiritual waters. MomStrong moms know the Word, and they respond to today’s challenges with God-centered wisdom. Don’t be deceived: your best defense, your only defense, is the Word.

Of course, we can’t give our kids what we don’t have. If you aren’t in the Word for yourself, you need to be—for your own sake as well as for the sake of your children. God offers a promise for those who seek wisdom: those who seek wisdom will find it. The war may feel long and fierce, but we don’t have to go it alone.

Becoming MomStrong means digging into God’s Word for answers to the daily challenges you and your family face. If you’ve never done that before, I encourage you to do something that took me years to do—be intentional about making time to read the Bible each day, even if it’s only a little bit at once.

It’s okay to start small. Commit to reading the Bible for just ten minutes each morning, and you’ll be amazed at what you’ll learn about the character of God and His heart for this hurting world. You’ll also see that God has set standards in place since the creation of the world. His law is as steadfast as the rule of gravity—and things go better when we obey, just as they do when we respect the laws that govern the physical world.

If you’re struggling with one of your children or with a situation one of your children is facing, it’s time to get on your knees and ask God for unique wisdom and perspective. God knows exactly what’s going on, and He can give you the wisdom you need. Isn’t that amazing? It’s one of the reasons we have hope as Christian moms. Instead of facing all the challenges and changes of motherhood on our own, we have the Creator Himself walking alongside us.

Parenting is a tough job, but thank God, we don’t have to rely on our own wisdom. God has already given us the best parenting manual in the world—His Word. The more we teach our children to “follow in the ways of the Lord,” the better equipped they will be to face the challenges ahead and “be successful in all [they] do and wherever [they go]” (1 Kings 2:3-4).

Have you ever seen what happens to sleep-deprived drivers? They get into accidents. The same rule applies to motherhood: tired moms are prime candidates for burnout. Have you ever been done? You know, done, as in do-your-own-laundry-and-find-your-own-food kind of done? Me too. When I’m tired, here’s what happens:

I tend to avoid reading my Bible.
My house turns into a 24/7 movie theater (aka “video babysitter”).
Homework doesn’t get done.
Laundry piles up.
The slow cooker gets dusty.
The kids don’t get disciplined (just telling the truth here, people).
School doesn’t happen.
I stop shaving my legs. And showering.

And I don’t care. About any of it. When I’m near burning out, I tend to check out. I’m guessing that if we were having a tall pumpkin spice latte together right now, you’d be high-fiving me. Why? Because we’ve all been there.

Here’s the thing: the key word in burnout is burn. Burnout happens when we focus for too long on the wrong things, such as keeping up with the Joneses or saying yes when we should say no. We have to stay on top of these little flare-ups before they turn into full-blown brush fires. And it’s not just our individual homes and families we need to be concerned about. Look around: the entire battlefield is ablaze right now. Our kids can’t afford to have moms who are burned out and checked out. They need us to be all in.

God has given this generation of moms a special challenge: to train future warriors for the spiritual battle that’s unfolding around us. God is asking today’s mothers to be strong in the midst of an incredibly powerful cultural shift away from the truth of God’s Word.

It’s an awesome responsibility, and in all honesty, it’s daunting. Christian parents have the privilege and responsibility of teaching their children what it means to be strong in the Lord and in the power of His strength. The devil knows this. He knows that if the mothers of this generation are too exhausted to fight, they’ll be tempted to give up. Tired parents have a tendency to look for ways to relieve the stress of parenting by relegating their sacred calling to pastors and teachers. Simply put, when the going gets tough, many moms are checking out.

But MomStrong moms don’t check out. They check in—all in. One hundred percent!

Being all in starts with a personal commitment to recognize Jesus Christ as our source of strength. MomStrong moms need to prioritize their relationship with the living God in the same way they prioritize every other life-giving aspect of their lives. Think about it—just one day without water leads to dehydration. Well, our souls are no different. That’s why we can’t afford to go a single day without connecting with the Lord, either through His Word or in prayer. Doing so puts us at risk for spiritual dehydration.

One of my favorite verses is Isaiah 40:31: “Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Read that again. Now one more time. (It’s okay—I’ll wait. This is important.)

The prophet is pointing us to the source of all strength: the Lord! He’s reminding us that it is the Lord who renews our strength. Do you want to run and not grow weary? Drink from the living water! We were born to thirst for our Creator. Without coming to Him daily, we’ll eventually find ourselves weary, weak, and discouraged.

It’s no wonder the enemy is working overtime to discourage and deplete moms. Think of it this way: a mom who is too tired to pray and read her Bible is no real threat to the devil. A tired mom is more likely to let the Internet parent her children. She’s apt to miss the subtle signs of a child whose heart is far from the Lord. A tired mom is less likely to spend time with God, and without filling up at the source, she runs on empty.

Trust me, I’ve been there. You start out fresh and energized. You have everything under control. You nap when Baby naps. Friends bring you pre-made dinners so you don’t have to cook. Mothers-in-law stop by to help with laundry. You schedule date nights with your spouse. You might even arrange a spa day for yourself every couple of weeks. After all, there’s almost always a friend or a family member who can fill in for you for the afternoon. But then one kid turns into two (or three or seven) and all of a sudden, you’re in full-on mom mode.

In a blink, your life is nothing but carpools and Crock-Pots, from the moment you wake up until you lay your head down again at night. Date nights vanish. Sitters become harder (and more expensive) to find. Laundry piles up. And before you know it, you’re eating leftover tuna casserole three days in a row and wondering when you last washed your own hair.

Let’s face it: busy doesn’t even begin to describe most moms today. We’re often too distracted to even ask God for help with our daily challenges. And Satan loves it when we’re too busy to pray. Why? Because a mom who is too busy to seek the Lord in prayer is easy prey for the devil! Peter warns that our enemy is like a “roaring lion” (1 Peter 5:8). And this lion knows exactly how to get to the heart of a weary mom and drag her into the brush.

But consider this, precious mom: in the midst of all the Crock-Pots, curriculum, and carpools, God wants to be your shelter. He wants to give you refuge from the chaos of the day. Take a drink of living water every morning, and stay in tune with the Spirit throughout the day by praying and listening for that still, small voice. Yours is an awesome responsibility, so don’t be afraid to go directly to the Lord when you need help. Share your challenges with Him, day and night, and let Him be your shelter. He is listening. He always will be.

Adapted from Becoming MomStrong: How to Fight with All That’s in You for Your Family and Your Faith by Heidi St. John.

Of all the wonderful stories in the Bible, the story of David and Goliath remains one of my favorites. Just imagining this young boy loading a small stone into a slingshot and stepping onto the battlefield in the name of the Lord strengthens my own resolve to be courageous.

The reality is that we all face different kinds of giants in our lives. The question isn’t whether they’ll show up; it’s whether we’ll have the courage to load our own stones into our own slingshots when the time comes.

Several years ago, I decided it was time to face a huge giant in my life. That giant’s name was Fear. For me, facing this giant meant risking my reputation as a “put-together” mom, author, and speaker by sharing one of my most personal struggles: the childhood trauma I faced, along with the years of crippling anxiety I experienced as a result.

I’ll never forget the first time I stepped onstage with the intention of telling the truth about this tender part of my life. I knew God had asked me to address the very real problem of domestic abuse within the church while speaking to a group of homeschooling women. The only way to do it with authority was to be honest about the abuse I’d experienced growing up.

I prayed for weeks in advance about what I’d say, and every time I even thought about it, Fear (and his henchman, Adrenaline) would hijack my mind and my body. My hands got clammy, my heart raced, and my anxiety soared. But all the while, God was teaching me to recognize the spirit of fear and reminding me to remain in Him.

The day I took the stage to share what had previously been known only to close friends and family, it felt very much like I was picking up a stone and chucking it with all my strength at the giant that had held me hostage most of my adult life. Sometimes the only way to do something is to do it afraid.

Do you know what happened when I took aim at that giant? God showed up. When I obeyed the Lord, something miraculous happened: He began to set me free. As I testified to God’s unfailing love in the middle of my trials, I saw tears rolling down the faces of many of the women in the audience. The response was overwhelming.

That day I learned that the devil doesn’t want us to share our struggles. He wants us to feel that we’re all alone. Isn’t that what the devil does best? He tries to keep us from knowing the truth. To my surprise, I was learning that I was far from alone in my struggle. God wanted to use my story, including the broken parts, even as I was still finding my own healing.

We all have different fears we battle against. But one common characteristic about most fears is that they stem from the lies we believe. Maybe Satan has whispered some of these lies into your ears at some point:

You’re not strong enough.
Your past has determined your future.
Everything depends on you.
You’ve failed too many times.
You can’t do this right.
You’re screwing up your kids.
Everyone else’s kids are doing better than yours.

When I say these statements out loud, I know they’re lies, but somehow in the quiet of my heart, they sound different. They sound believable.

As a young mother, I struggled to differentiate between the voice of the enemy and my own insecurities. I had grown up hearing stories about the lineup of courageous people of the Bible. I knew all about Joshua and the battle of Jericho, I could tell you all the ways Mary was brave, and I could quote a whole bunch of verses about faith—but it was just “Christianese.” I knew the stories of courage, but I couldn’t translate them into power for my own life.

Can you relate? We need a giant-sized slingshot to face the giants in our own lives. Thankfully, God supplies slingshots when we ask Him to. He’s good like that.

I know all this talk of courage can sound kind of cliché, so let me unpack it for you just a little. MomStrong moms recognize that courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s the decision to act in the face of fear. When we face our fears in faith, what we’re really doing is allowing the Holy Spirit to be who He says He is: bigger than our fear.

When we pick up our slingshots and take aim at our giants through the power of the Holy Spirit, our aim will be sure. Fear is no match for the Lord of heaven’s armies. According to the Bible, God is pretty good at helping amateurs like David to make their aim count. It took only one stone to take down the giant Philistine.

The same is true for us. When our trust is in the Lord, courage finds its feet. My grandmother once said, “God is faithful, or He isn’t. He’s good, or He isn’t.” There’s no such thing as halfhearted faith—we need to go all in. The way we respond to trials is our opportunity to put feet to our faith.

If you’re struggling to find courage in the midst of a battle, it’s okay. Our faithful God knows every part of you. He sees every hurt and knows every detail of the fears you’re facing. MomStrong moms have uncommon courage, because their courage comes from God Himself. Where God’s love is found, His courage is not far behind, because the Word tells us that perfect love drives out fear (see 1 John 4:18). Uncommon courage is God’s gift to every fearful mom who decides she can take Him at His word, not matter what she is facing. Watch and see—He will prove Himself faithful.