Author Archives: Heidi St. John

About Heidi St. John

Heidi has been married to her husband Jay since 1989. Together they have seven children and three grandchildren! The St. Johns homeschooled their kids all the way through high school. Heidi is the the author of seven books, host of the popular podcast "Off the Bench," and the founder of MomStrong International, an online community of women learning God's Word and how to apply it to every day life. She and her husband Jay are also the founders of Firmly Planted Family and the Firmly Planted Homeschool Resource Center, located in Vancouver, Washington.

A Spiritual Battle

4 Replies

Keep up to date with RSS or iTunes

Have you been watching the news lately? So many things bring uncertainty into our lives, don’t they? I’m doing a fair amount of sitting around right now, as I recover slowly from the emotional and physical journey of a hysterectomy. As I watched tonight, I saw a mom interviewed about the fear she struggles with over possibly losing her healthcare and not being able to provide for her children. So many things up in the air. It’s easy for us to become afraid, isn’t it?

Well, just in time, we’re still talking about Esther today, but in relationship to the verses we find in Ephesians 6. If you have your Bible, open it to Ephesians 6 and get out your highlighter and pen, because you’re going to want to highlight this passage.

In Ephesians 6:10 we read,

“Finally be strong in the Lord, and in His mighty power put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes, for our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in heavenly places. Therefore, put on the full armor of God so that when the day of evil comes, you will be able to stand your ground and after you have done everything to stand.

Stand firm then with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, with your feet fitted with readiness that comes with the gospel of peace; in addition to all this, take up the shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one; take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the spirit, which is the Word of God, and pray in the spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.”

Solomon once said that there is “nothing new under the sun.” How true that is! Just like the time of Esther, the battle that we are fighting now is a spiritual battle. There has always been good and evil. There have always been wicked men in this world. God uses even the the difficult things. He is always at work. Esther understood this.

Esther had the wisdom to see that the battle she was fighting needed spiritual weapons. In the same way we encounter things in our daily lives- whether it’s with our husbands, our marriage, our children, strife in our churches, frustrations in our friendships or struggles with our health, we need to recognize who the enemy really is.

The Bible says we do not struggle against flesh and blood, we are engaged in a spiritual battle. There really is wickedness in this world, so we need to be looking at the world with spiritual eyes. We cannot fight this spiritual battle using a carnal weapons like manipulation or unkind words. We need to be using the weapons of prayer and application of the Word of God. Those are the weapons we use to engage in spiritual warfare! We read in Ephesians 6 that we are to put on the belt of truth and buckle it around our waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and fit our feet with the gospel of peace. God is telling us over and over again that the battle we fight is a spiritual battle.

Are you ready to fight a spiritual battle? Do you spend the time you need to spend putting on your armor? Gear up Busy Mom. Gear up for a spiritual battle. Put on the full armor of God!

Gird up,

A Little Less Talk

New Year’s Hope for a Weary Homeschool Mom

2 Replies

“I’m done!” Have you ever been there? It’s the kind of “done” that makes everything more frustrating. The dishes pile up. The laundry calls your name—and your husband’s needs become an annoyance rather than a precious priority.

Anyone? Can I get a witness?

Well today, I am in the book of Galatians, chapter 6, verse 9. The reason why I decided to go back to this verse (we’ve gone over it a couple times before) is because I know how challenging the holidays can be for busy moms. There are so many things that weigh on us and so many things that we feel like we need to be doing. It seems like the holidays just ramp up stress for us.

If you feel “done” this New Year, you can find encouragement in God’s Word.

Galatians 6:9 says, “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”

I love Paul’s encouragement not to give up. I don’t know about you, but I’ve had a tough week: unexpected things have happened: computer glitches, spilled milk on school assignments, siblings squabbling, and spilled coffee. Yesterday, I re-heated my tea three times before altogether forgetting about it in the microwave.

One thing after another seemed to go “wrong.” Feelings of insecurity and failure invade my New Year’s resolutions before I have even finished my list! All these things, I must confess, eventually led me to questioning my sanity. Sanity is a must-have for every busy mom, right? I looked in the mirror and this tired, overwhelmed face stared back at me.

Christmas vacation is almost over. I’m a homeschool mom, so no school bus is coming to take these kids off my hands, no nanny, no babysitter, it’s all me… 24/7. Sometimes I want to give up. After all, I ask myself, “what mom in her right mind chooses to be locked up all day with little people with no hope of reprieve in sight?” Who would be nutty enough to do that?

Uhh…me.

Here’s why: I am trying to “plant with the harvest in mind” like every mom who is raising her kids to love and follow Jesus Christ. When I am wiping juice off the wall, cleaning the toddler’s potty, or instructing the children for what feels like the millionth time on how to finish cleaning the kitchen rather than quitting after the dishwasher is loaded, I need to remember the WHY of all of it. At the end of the day, mothers are not “just” training and teaching their children. Moms are investing in the next generation of doctors, legislators, lawyers, policemen, bank tellers, construction workers, missionaries, pastors, and mothers who will, by God’s grace, invest their lives in their children.

My own daughter is now a young mother herself. Watching her with Noah reminds me of the value that raising a family holds. It’s wonderful to begin passing the baton to the next generation. It’s a reminder to me, and to you, that we are investing in our children because they are what is really going to matter at the end of our lives. They’re worth it.

It goes by fast—don’t grow weary. Persevere, busy mom.

Plant with a harvest in mind.

The Best Things in Life … Aren’t Things

8 Replies

How are you handling the holiday season? I know it’s a crazy time of the year, it’s crazy for me too. I have been recovering from surgery and have been down for awhile. I have really appreciated your prayers!

I received a message the other day from a busy mom who is in the same boat as most of us. She wrote,

Dear Heidi,

We are not enjoying the Christmas season that much. My husband and I don’t have much money and the pressure of buying gifts is weighing heavy on our hearts.
Do you have any advice or encouragement?

I have a lot of thoughts on this particular subject, but I want to start off by saying I totally understand the frustration this mom is feeling. I grew up in the 80’s, and in the 80’s, Christmas was all about the gifts. Sometimes at our house, we couldn’t even see the tree because the gifts were so plentiful.

Often on Christmas morning, we would come into the living room to see Santa (aka Grandpa) literally filling the living room with gifts. There were seven children in my family, so to be fair there were a lot of us, with two sets of grandparents and my parents then all seven kids. My point is that we were used to getting a lot of gifts.

Great as a child—but as an adult it’s very guilt-inducing. As much as we loved getting all those gifts, as I grew into adulthood, it occurred to me that the things I treasured the most about Christmas had very little to do with the gifts we received. I truly loved the memories of my mom baking with us, going out to look at Christmas lights, cutting paper snowflakes with my sisters, playing in the snow outside, hot apple cider and playing music with my family. Those were the things that really made an impact on me.

In result, my family has adopted a simpler approach toward Christmas. We do exchange a few gifts, but our focus is not on the gifts. It’s more about the memories than the money.

If you’re struggling under the burden of the holidays, stop and think about where that pressure is coming from. It’s not coming from the Christ child. It’s coming from the culture. Do not let the culture define Christmas for you.

Christmas is about a little baby who came to the world to bring us hope and salvation. You can show your children how much you love them by giving them your time and energy and letting them finish their long stories and by watching their plays. You want to help them to learn to give to others, rather than getting things for themselves.

Best of all, you can point your children to Jesus in the midst of all the cookie-baking and memory making.

When it’s all said and done, the best things in life aren’t things.

Merry Christmas from our house to yours!

To Love and Respect

3 Replies

Today I am in the book of Ephesians 5:22-33. It’s kind of a long passage compared to what I usually do here, but I want to talk to you about marriage and it’s one of the better passages to study for this particular topic.

Starting in verse 22, we read,

“22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

Hmmm. Can you say, “hot topic?” I think it’s interesting that the passage doesn’t instruct the wife to love her husband or the husband to respect his wife. I believe it is because we already give each other what we want to receive. For example, I want my husband to love me, therefore I’ll love him like I want to be loved. Conversely, he wants me to respect him, so he will respect me. It’s what comes naturally to both of us—most of the time. Yet over and over again in Ephesians, Paul urges a husband to love his wife and urges the wife to respect her husband and respect his leadership.

At the end of the day, we make a decision as women to love and respect our husbands and we choose how we will do it. It is a choice that we make, not just because we love our husbands, but because of our reverence toward God and a desire to obey His Word.

There is a blessing, mom, that comes when we yield ourselves to the way God wants things to be done. Just as much as we can choose not to respect our husbands, our husbands can choose not to love us. Sometimes, that respect is an act of obedience, not based on whether or not they are loving us the way we want to be loved at any given moment. It’s tough stuff sometimes, isn’t it?

I talk to women all over the country at conferences and different events where we are speaking. Many of my interactions are with homeschool moms. It is amazing how many men we have met over the years that feel like their wives do not respect them. Most of the time, it’s simply because the wife has not verbalized to her husband how much she respects him, or she not said “thank you” to him for what he does for his family. Little things really do mean a lot.

When he makes a decision in the home, we demonstrate our respect by our response to that decision. If we roll our eyes or make fun (or whatever) it sends a message loud and clear. It is easy to respect him when he makes a decision that we approve of. It’s not so easy when they do something that we don’t approve of.

The truth is, our respect for him needs to be unconditional. I’m not saying that we respect something that is sinful, but we respect our husbands by honoring their decisions, by respecting the gifts and abilities that God has given them, and making sure they KNOW how much we respect them by verbally communicating that to them.

If you’re struggling with this area in your life, sit down for a few minutes and read Ephesians 5 again. Ask the Lord to show you what that looks like in your marriage.

Next time you feel irritated or upset and you want to get frustrated when your husband makes a decision (like not asking for directions or whatever your pet-peeve is) remind yourself that you are honoring God when you honor your husband.

Busy mom, respect your husband. There is a blessing to be found in doing things God’s way.

Surrounded By Witnesses: Why It Matters

4 Replies

Today, I am in the book of Hebrews 12:1-2. If you have your Bible, go ahead and open it up and grab your highlighter or pen and get ready to mark it up. It says,

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”

There are so many things that we can take away from these verses, but I especially love the first part of the verse where it says, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses…”

Hmmmm. Witnesses? This verse in Hebrews is encouraging us, knowing there are witnesses (written about in Hebrews 11) who have run this race before us and finished well. But we know there are other witnesses whose presence we can note too… those who witness how we walk out our daily life.

Have your kids ever embarrassed you? That’s when you know the “witnesses” are there! Several years ago, I had the kids at the grocery store when a quarrel broke out in the ranks. Things got ugly. I wanted to yell, “Stop it!”, and not just because I didn’t want them fighting with each other! At the moment, I was intensely aware that people were watching us. Of course, this was the day the children were wearing their bright homeschool co-op t-shirts. Things got ugly. Let’s just say there was a call for a “cleanup on aisle 7.”

I remember coming home saying rather angrily to my husband, “I am never letting our children wear their homeschool t-shirts in public again!” Ugh. I was ready to stop my race right then.

People will say that it doesn’t matter what others think—but I’ve come to believe that I’m an ambassador for the things I believe in. My life speaks for me. If I claim to love my husband but treat him poorly, do I really love him? If I claim to follow Jesus but don’t know what His Word says do I really follow Him? My actions speak louder than my words… and knowing this has made me aware that I am surrounded by “witnesses.” I wonder, as Christian women, are we keenly aware of how people are watching us? They are watching the way we treat the cashier, how we tip the waiter, the way we drive, how we talk to our children. These “witnesses” are watching how we love, honor, and respect our husbands.

How we run our race is as important as the fact that we are in the race at all.

The apostle Paul reminds us of that. He is saying “since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely.” Imagine trying to run a race and having your feet tangled up with rope or wires. Imagine trying to run that race and not being able to because you are entangled with rope. That’s what sin in our lives does. It trips us up. It keeps us from running our race with perseverance—but even worse, it hinders others.

That is why we are reminded to let the sin go, to throw it down. Today, spend a few minutes thinking about that. What are the things that are tripping you up? Have they slowed your pace? What do you plan to do to deal with them?

Unresolved sin has serious consequences. We cannot just simply ignore it. We are commanded to in Scripture to run the race with perseverance and to throw everything off that hinders us. We can’t throw it off if we don’t know that it’s entangling us. If we want to run our race with perseverance, we need to be willing to see it and make a plan to get rid of it.

So, do that today, busy mom. Fix your eyes upon Jesus. Allow His Spirit to show you what might be entangling you.

Whenever I read the phrase “fix your eyes on Jesus,” I picture myself running my race with all these little kids following me. (Remember this is the dream of a busy mom of seven.) Often in my dreams I’m running while pushing a stroller or I carrying a baby in my arms. Recently, it’s been a grandbaby in my arms and kids running next to me. (Seasons change.)

I love this image of being able to just fix my eyes upon Jesus who is the author and perfecter of my faith; He is the reason I want to raise my kids to love and know the peace that comes from running with Jesus. At the end of the day, those “witnesses” are going to say or think something about the way we live.

When people talk about me, I want them to say, “She had something special.” Not because it was me, but because it was Jesus shining through me. He’s the one who helps us run with perseverance. He’s the one who makes the race even worth running.

Let’s give them something “good” to talk about,

The Crown of the Aged

79 Replies

If you are reading this right now, chances are you are a mom. If you’re like me, you’re trying to find five minutes to yourself. Motherhood is a demanding profession. It’s 24/7, doesn’t pay well and gets almost no respect. I think that’s part of the reason moms feel so overwhelmed. Frankly, I think it’s why our culture is struggling the way it is.

Our culture has largely rejected the idea that children are a blessing. I’ll never forget the looks I received when we were expecting our fifth child. Cold stares, people counting by nodding their heads. At one point I remember being embarrassed to go Costco with the children while I looked pregnant. I just couldn’t stand feeling like people were staring and pointing and talking behind my back.

It’s been years since then. I got over my embarrassment, obviously, because we went on to have two more children. Why? Because my husband and I realized something as we grew in our relationship. We realized that our investment in our children was the best thing about our life. Easy? NO. Worth it? YES! Psalm 127:3 says, “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord; the fruit of the womb is a reward.”

Wow! Isn’t that counter to the culture that we live in? The fruit of the womb, the Bible says, is a reward! If you look at Proverb 17:6, it says, “Grandchildren are the crown of the aged and the glory of children is their father’s.”

I am learning this first hand. We just experienced the joy of welcoming our first grandchild into the family, and there is nothing like it in the whole world. Someone should have told me about it, because I would have had grandchildren first! It’s all newborn, nothing of the nightshift! Looking in the eyes of this beautiful little boy who is being raised by MY daughter and her husband is glorious!

If you’re in the throes of raising children (no matter the size of your family) keep in mind that you are doing the best work there is. The culture tells us that children are a burden but God says they are a blessing! The culture says only try to have one or two children, but God says blessed is the man whose quiver is full of children.

I wish that as a culture, we looked at children the way that God does. I’m not talking about disputable matters when I talk about children, either. I don’t care to get into a discussion about birth control. I do want to point you towards God’s Word so that y0u can see how God views children. Over and over again we read that God loves children. His heart is for children.

In Matthew 19, we read about how the children were brought to Jesus so that He could lay His hands on them and pray for them, but the disciples rebuked the people saying, “Hey, Jesus is too busy for the kids.” But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them. For the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.” He then laid his hands upon them and went away.

Children are a gift.

Busy mom, if you have just found out that you’re pregnant with another child and you’re feeling burdened and overwhelmed or someone is mocking your pregnancy announcement, don’t let them bother you. Whenever we were pregnant, people would come up to us and say, “Hey, do you know how that works?” Eventually, after so many incidents, my husband finally said, “Yeah, we do, and we like it!” We can think of lots of things to say to people when they make fun of the number of children we have, but I always tell parents it’s the hardest, best thing we have ever done is having a big family. We are so thankful that we didn’t let negative comments cheat us out of enjoying the wonder of raising children.

Am I saying that it’s easy? Absolutely not! There have been days where I’ve wanted to throw myself off a cliff! Sometimes I look at my husband and say, “Why did we have all these children?” There have been days when I wondered if I could do it for one more moment… but I’ll tell you what, the Bible is true. God’s mercy is new every morning.

His mercy will be new for you every day, busy mom. One day, by God’s grace, we will be looking back on our lives and we’ll really understand what it means to have a “crown of the aged.” Until then, I choose to believe God’s Word.

Children a blessing.