79 thoughts on “The Crown of the Aged

    1. Thank you so much. Some days I totally dread going to the store, thinking about how the people are looking at me. I have a 10, 5, 4, 3, and 8 month old, so shopping can get pretty interesting. But when I get my eyes off man and see how I can bless someone instead of dreading the negative looks and comments. God’s blessing comes and I get to bless someone. Thank you for sharing. I love our big family, God has blessed us with. What a gift!! Thank you everyone Mama even the ones with a small family we are doing God’s work!!!!

  1. My son and his wife are about to be blessed with their 5th child any day. My heart breaks to hear my daughter say things like you said in your blog…constantly getting the stares and comments like “is this your last baby?”. I am VERY proud of the loving, Christian home my grandchildren are being brought in to!!! People need to remember that children are a blessing in so many ways to so many people!!!

  2. I so agree with you. If we study other cultures they are much more “family” and “community” oriented than we are here in the US. Not so much me me me, but us. I think we should get back to that, we’d all be a lot happier.

  3. You totally nailed it. I grew up thinking children were burdens (maybe I also felt like we were burdens) but now that I have my own, I see such a huge blessing- and- I see all other kids as blessings. I’m prying for a huge shift in culture… We need it badly.

  4. Whenever I feel the negativity of society about my desire for a large family (expecting #3 in April) I think of my grandpa (who had 7, 5 still living) who with each of my birth announcements smiled and said, hey that’s great! He never questioned us about wanting girls or boys, if we are done, why they are so close in age….he was simply happy to hear about more great grand babies and always hopes for them to be healthy. My grandparents are going to celebrate their 65th wedding anniversary next year. And as their example is a constant inspiration to me. I know that their joy in seeing their family grow keeps them going strong.

  5. Here is a quote from Voddie Baucham concerning children, “Once again I beg the question: Is your view of children in line with scripture or with the culture? The poorest nations in the world see children as a blessing. The richest nation in the world, we talk about children in terms of how many we can afford. God help us. We are dying one generation at a time because we refuse to receive the gift that God wants to bring through the womb.” What a sad, sad world we live in.

  6. It’s refreshing to find that it’s normal to feel overwhelmed at times.I am stay-at-home mom and LOVE it but I do have my moments where I feel like running for the woods.Just refreshing to know others go through the same.Thank you!

  7. My 3rd (and hopefully last!) child is 10.5 months. When I found out I was pregnant, I was angry. I cried. My 2nd child was only 13 months old and STILL wasn’t sleeping through the night. I was exhausted and knew I was done! But, you know how it goes with men and their so-called “needs”. I knew 3 was more than I could handle. I was at my limit. And you know what? I was right! Just because we have a womb, doesn’t needs we need to pop out as many kids as we physically can. My undergrad is a waste because I’m stuck at home. Heidi, unlike you, most normal stuck at home moms don’t have parents or in-laws living with them to watch the kids so we can travel and work and become some famous blogger.

    1. Carissa, I’m sorry you’re struggling. You might be surprised to learn that I cried too, when I learned I was pregnant with one of mine. It’s easy to look into someone’s “online life” and think you know them. We all have our struggles. It’s a matter of perspective and priorities. Hitting your “limit” is okay, too. My point was more to show that our culture by-and-large is missing the blessing of having children. They do grow up—and then they give you grandkids if you’re really blessed. 🙂

    2. Carissa when I found out about my second pregnancy I was so angry because of how bad my first one was. I was very angry at my husband. It wasn’t until my son was born that I realized what I had done. He could feel everything I was feeling while inside me and all he felt was anger and hatred. I had poisoned him with it. He should have felt love and joy and he didn’t. He was born and I saw what I had done. He did not like my husband at all and was so needy like he needed me to prove I loved him. I have never seen anything like it. I had to ask God to forgive me for what I had done. I realised I had viewed my situation with the eyes of the world and not the eyes of God. I never let that happen again. We now have four beautiful children and can’t have anymore due to complications with my last two. It is very hard to be a mother but I now view them as blessings and that has changed me alot. my husband owns his own business and I stay home and homeschool. We are not rich and constantly struggle but its a sacrifice we are willing to make for our family. As far as husbands go, they do have needs and set much store by how you meet them. I would try reading the power of a praying wife by stormie omartion. That book has saved marriages and I am reading it now to help me find balance with my kids and husband time and to learn how to pray for him. Hope this helps. I pray God is able to open your eyes to ways to see the pleasure in motherhood. And that you get a good nights rest. That usually helps.

  8. Wow Carissa, bitter much?
    Feeling “done” having kids has nothing to do with seeing them as a blessing. Regardless of how many you have, you should feel they are a blessing. I hope your third child doesn’t grow up feeling unloved or unwanted because you were “done” at 2 kids.
    And as for men’s “needs,” you can say NO!

  9. It always amazed me how such negative comments can be said by adults that know better. I have 5 children and endured many of those comments but I chose to rise above that and cherish every child and every pregnancy!

  10. Haven’t read it yet, but my heart breaks every time I see women treating and acting like their children are a burden. We love our children so much and people don’t understand that we are giving God control of their lives.

  11. We will only have two: for my health reasons. But I am always in awe of people with three and more, and I admire them, because I know it is hard, and I know others always talk about them.

  12. Thank you Heidi, Your post truly blessed me. We recently announced that we are expecting our 9th baby, and as thrilled as we are, it makes me so sad how many view it as a negative or crazy thing. Blessings to you!

  13. I really needed this. Thank you. I’m a SAHM/HSing mom with 5 kids, a husband on the other side of the world, and family on the other side of the country. So many times I think “Man, I just need a break. Just a little time to myself.” But then God quickly reminds me that one day I will have that time to myself and all I will want is for my babies to come home, to be back in these moments again.

  14. We have3 children and they are my ministry. We homeschool and after our 3 rd baby we made the decision to have a vasectomy because that’s what people did that. We knew ( weak I know). Now we regret that decision so very much. It’s easy to say have a reversal but it’s very expensive and we have heard a horror story from a friend. So my heart aches for another baby. Our kids even want another baby. Our decision affected the entire family.

    1. Jen,
      We were in the same situation a few years ago. I just want to encourage you that the Lord can and will provide for a reversal. I know it is the Lord who placed it in our hearts and He was faithful to provide. There is a ministry called Broken Arrows that helps with reversal costs. We did not use their ministry and I don’t have any personal experience with them but it is worth checking out! We went to a doctor who does reversals as a ministry and his price was far below other places. His name is Dr. David Wilson and he is in Fort Gibson, OK. We drove there from Idaho for our appointment 🙂 That was a little over a year ago. I know we did the right thing to place this area of our lives back in God’s hands. We had an ectopic pregnancy a few months ago and although my heart aches for the sweet baby that went to heaven so soon, I also rejoice knowing that we were blessed with another child. I will pray that the Lord will guide you to where you need to be and also that you wouldn’t be concerned with the horror story. The Lord overwhelmed me with stories of successful reversals and encouragement from others when we were on our “journey” and I hope that my little story will encourage you as well!

  15. We have heard all of the comments and still receive the stares/glares … we have 11 children (ages 25 to 2) … and absolutely love our larger-than-life family! I am blessed daily by these precious “babies” and grateful for the privilege of raising them <3 Now that we're living/traveling fulltime in our fifth wheel, we continue to be even more counter-cultural 😉 #manntheretheygo

  16. Your posts are a great encouragement! I am pregnant with my 4th precious baby and I definitely get rude comments and mean looks when I take my children out with me. It is very sad. I am grateful that I have a very supportive church family that view children as the Lord does. And a majority of my family are supportive also. But, even if I didn’t have the ‘approval’ of those around me, the only One I truly need to please is my Savior. I pray often that a reformation would happen in our country and that we would seek the Lord, rather than bowing to the idol of self and clinging to ways that are contrary to Scripture. If we as a nation sought the Lord, large families would not be viewed as freak shows, babies would be acknowledged as blessings and not burdens and our society would be more willing to poor our lives into our families rather than the self indulgent culture we live in. Lord help us!

  17. Loved this post! More people than you realize need this encouragement. I will send this on to friends with large families who are struggling with the negativity they get from perfect strangers. I started getting nasty comments when I was pregnant with my second child since my first was still so little. I couldn’t believe it. Now, four kids later, I’ve learned to smile and share the joy and blessing that children are with those who feel the need to comment on how crazy I must be. 🙂

  18. Loved this! I have six kids ages 11 to 4 (twins). There was no family planning here and I’m so thankful I was able to have so many kids so close in age. I couldn’t have planned it better as each child is so unique and an asset to our family. They do drive me crazy almost every bedtime but then an hour later, when they are deep in innocent sleep, I get down on my knees and thank God for entrusting me with these amazing blessings. People do make comments when I’m at Costco with all 6 of them descending on the “snack ladies” but I just smile and say it is a lot of fun and our house is never boring. Keep smiling and sharing…it can change the perception!

  19. Heidi,

    Thank you for this post! I often feel overwhelmed (like why did we have this many, I grew up an only child with 2 half siblings in a different home) AND I actually think it is quite funny what a “spectacle” we are as we travel around in town as a family! You would think people have never seen a group of kids before! Maybe I’ll start charging, ha! I am pregnant with our 8th child, (6 by birth, 2 by adoption) we don’t often get out all together since as they get older they start having lives of their own but when we do, what a site we are! And the comments and stares get really old. But my husband and I cling to children are a blessing and (as I sit here refereeing a fight between a 4 and 2 year old, ha!) such a gift! But our society sure doesn’t support that thought process. Most importantly I think it is a personal choice between God, husband and wife how full their quiver should be based on the Word and how God is leading their family. God led us to more some others have less and that is PERFECT we each have our own walk, it is all how we perceive these noisy little messes that interrupt our quiet time, ha, ha, ha! Thanks for all your wonderful blog posts they are encouraging to this mom!

  20. love this post, hit right home for me. Expecting our 6th and overjoyed. Some people don’t get it, strangers certainly don’t but I love my family and am glad that I realised early on that this was my purpose and vocation. We are so blessed beyond words and I do believe that children a gift from the Lord which is why we are growing our family. Thank you for sharing in a positive light and reminding us that what we do is worthwhile
    Corrie:)

  21. Honey our children are the greatest blessing, next to salvation, there are! When we birthed our children, God intrusted a specific person for the specific child. So, praise em when they”re good, and love em enough to whoop em when theyre not.

  22. It’s like you have a window into my life! Thank you for sharing your experiences and words of Truth and encouragement. You have a gift of keepin’ it real and spurring on. Keep on being that lone voice! I for one need to hear it. :). -A tired mom of 5 beautiful blessings.

  23. Our quiver must be really small, because God seems intent on only allowing us 1 child. It is hard for me to watch all my friends have more children as we have been waiting for years for another to no avail. It doesn’t help when people give us the “you only have one” line. Clearly there must be some magic, socially acceptable number of children we all keep failing to achieve.

  24. I really needed this reminder. My husband wasn’t been excited about #5. Now I am pregnant with #6. Long road.

  25. Thanks. This homeschooling mom of 5 (ages 20 months – 11 yrs) really needed to read this. So much more I want to type, but tears getting in the way.

  26. Ah yes, after having three kids in 33 months, we get lots of snarky comments. But whenever we get asked ,”are you done yet?” We both quickly say, “NO”. Looking forward to having more kids! It really is an investment

  27. Glad hubby and I don’t feel that way! I’m pregnant with our 7th. God can change anyone’s heart! Hubby only wanted one. Pray that more hearts will be changed towards children!

  28. All my five children have been amazing blessings! Now we have five grand children. I have had the privilege of caring for four of them and it’s been an incredible joy, I revel in the blessings! Enjoy your families . Every moment invested will come back in rewards and blessings 100 fold. Ignore the world and listen to the voice of our Lord. Let Him be your guide in all things

  29. I feel so Blessed to be raising a 7 year old even thou I’m 64. She’s my great grand but since she was 4 mo. I’ve been Mom And I love it. I get lots of looks But we Giggle a love it,

  30. Thank you for this reminder 🙂 I am 38w w/ our fourth, preparing my mind for labor (I feel it coming very soon!) and this is one of the verses I’ll be meditating on…this new little one is a reward to me and my husband.

  31. Even though for the last couple of days she was…well, just plain HORRID…I still thank God for such a smart, strong-willed, lively little girl !!!
    When I’m about to lose my cool with her, I try to remember that some, are not so lucky! 🙁

  32. Sometimes people don’t have children for health, financial or marital reasons. Maybe, just maybe, some of the people looking at you and your seven children are jealous or are wondering, “Why does she have seven when I have none?” Have compassion on people who count your children. You don’t know what struggles of their own you may have just illuminated.

  33. I just had #4 and 5 (twins!) and when I get comments about how many kids we have, I just remind myself that they either don’t remember the blessing of having little kids running around, or they don’t have kids. Either way, I feel sorry for them… I love being a mom, no matter how tiring. 🙂

  34. Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting this. While expecting our first child my husband and I were surprised and saddened by how many people talked about parenting as a negative- fellow parents included! They seemed to dwell so heavily on the hard things- of which, yes, there are many!- than on the good things. The blessings far outweigh the trials. And we have been so sanctified by parenthood, even in these first five months!

  35. Yes God says “blessed is the man whose quiver is full of children” and this is ALWAYS used as “defense” for large Families. (Really you need none 😉 )

    Something to consider – maybe the couples who only have 1, or 2, even 3 children HAVE FULL quivers with “just” 1, 2, or 3 children.

    MAYbe, those with “just” 1, 2, or 3 children have done nothing to prevent further children but GOD has FILLED their quivers in this way..??

    Just as He grants one Gift/Talent to him or two to her, or five to him, and so forth.

    I have had to come to terms with the (painful) emotional realization that God has brought “just” 2 earthly Babes to us, while we have 2 awaiting us to join them in Heaven.

    As much as those with “lots” of children want to be validated for obeying God, please consider the other side and how some must live with a Longing in their Hearts with a smaller quiverful and have been just as obedient.

    ~Michelle

  36. My 2 children are 13 years apart. I had a long period of infertility followed by multiple miscarriages before and after my 2nd child. It is hard when everyone around is able to have children easily (or so it seems). Everyone seems to have opinions on family size whether you have one or many. God has a plan for your family. Don’t let others opinions get you down.

  37. Thank you for this article. I to know how this feels getting the stares and harsh comments. I remember when I was in my early 20’s after my last Daughter was born. With four children. I allowed the pressure of the world to lie to me and I decided to have a Tubal Ligation. 9 Years later with regret of that and the understanding of the mistake I made and that it was not Gods will for me I am in the process of having a Tubal Reversal so I can be once again in Gods perfect will for me, hopeful to be restored to bear children once again for my husband and I. Is it a easy choice? not at all, but obeying God is worth it all. Thank for your article!

  38. I love this! I’m jealous of people with lots of kids because I want more. I have only one and have infertility and it breaks my heart, but I do know things people say to moms with lots of kids. I saw a family like this recently on a trip and made a point to tell the mom how fabulous her children were and what a blessing I thought it was to have so many!

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