Tag Archives: I’m tired

Spring Home School Burnout

The weather is getting warmer, summer is almost here. It’s the last leg of the school year and I’m ready to throw in the towel and give up! This is our 18th year of homeschooling and it happens every year: the exciting days of fall, when I had high hopes of all that we would accomplish, have been buried under hopelessness. Reality is a harsh task master and it’s reminding me that we simply are NOT going to get it all done.

You would think that by now I would be immune to this annual event. I’m not. It has faded some, but still seems to rear its ugly head. Are you feeling the same way? Let’s take a minute, really think about this, and consider some things:

First of all, do you remember WHY you started to home school in the first place? For us, it was because we felt like we could give our kids a love for learning by letting them school more naturally, according to their giftings and interests. We wanted to protect them from influences that did not instill the values in them that we held important. We wanted to spend more time together as a family. We wanted flexibility. We wanted to prepare our kids for real life by living real life with them. Most of all we wanted our children to come into ownership of their own walks with God.

Are any of these your reasons? Did you notice that NONE of them had any direct correlation to curriculum? And yet, at the end of the day, it’s SO hard not to measure our homeschooling in terms of pages finished and projects completed.

God works in a very different economy. It’s hard to remember that. But He really does. His greatest concern is for our hearts, and as moms, that should be our greatest concern for OUR children. Are you seeing growth in your children’s souls? Are they learning HOW to think, rather than WHAT to think? Do they still love learning? Are the relationships within your family, for the most part, peaceful and healthy?

And how about you, Mom? Do you think YOU need to change to become what your children need or do you believe that you are uniquely qualified for this job? That you were made, by God’s design, to be these children’s mother and, they, to be YOUR children? Do you think that you need to figure everything out or that there is a perfect plan already in place? Do you believe that the results must measure up to expectations or that the results are on HIS shoulders? That you are responsible for everything, or that you are part of a team?

God loves our kids more than we do. Our job is to trust Him and do the next thing. He truly is good and faithful. So let’s take some time to breathe a prayer of thanks, rest in Him and enjoy our kids!

5 Ways to Save Your Sanity When Everyone Needs You All the Time

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“No! No one say “mom” one more time or I will walk straight out that door!”

We’ve all been there, right? That place in motherhood when it feels like there isn’t one single second in any 24 hour period in which someone doesn’t need something from you. It’s exhausting! It brings you right to the brink of your sanity. In the darkest moments the nut house actually begins to resemble a spa getaway in your mind and you just need to breathe!

You know it’s just a stage. You won’t always be in this place. Yeah, yeah- that’s all fine and dandy, but how do you get through it when you’re in the trenches? How do you make sure you come out on the other side without a prominent twitch?

It’s almost funny that I’m writing this post, because many days I feel like I just don’t know. However, I have found a few tricks to tuck up my sleeve that keep me just far enough from the edge that I don’t topple over, and today I’m going to share them with you!

1. Wake up before the minions. I know, it sounds downright torturous to think about prying your eyes open any earlier than you absolutely have to, but even if 10 or 15 minutes is all you can muster it gives you the leg up. Just being able to shortly wrap your head around the day, take a deep breath and brace yourself for the constant flow of what’s to come can help things feel a little less overwhelming.

2. Find ways to sneak in Jesus. Pray, first of all, and then work His Word into your day however you can. Make it accessible. Have an open Bible next to the sink. Post verses in spots you frequent throughout the day. Play an audio Bible while you’re cleaning house. Have a Bible app on your phone so that even if you can only sneak in a few minutes you have the resources at your fingertips to take advantage of those times. Abide in the Word however you can.

3. Make podcasts your best friend! By about 4:00 each day I am officially on the verge! We call it the witching hour around these parts. It’s when dinner time is still just a smidge off but little people are getting hungry and melting down and mommy just needs to hear another adult voice!

Pop on the podcast, baby!

Sometimes I’ll choose something goofy like my favorite morning radio show to lighten my mood. Sometimes I’ll go with great interviews or learning on a topic of interest. Other times I’ll find myself immersed in a great Bible Study. Whatever it is you choose, there’s something about it that helps take the edge off and make you feel a little less desperate while you’re chopping veggies and chicken with little people clung to your legs.

4. Create a bathroom stash. Seriously, I know they’ll come calling for you there too, but if even for a few minutes you are able to steal away to take a deep breath, eat a piece of chocolate and read a page or two from a fun novel that can whisk you away to some far off land, you have taken one step closer to staying out of the loony bin!
**Secret Survival Kit Stashing Tip- hide your essential survival chocolate, book, and whatever else may help you in a quick moment of rejuvenation, some place inconspicuous. May I suggest underneath the feminine hygiene products or even inside the box? I pretty much guarantee that you won’t be found out there!**

5. Lay aside the distractions. Sometimes I find that those moments when I am getting the most desperate and loopy from the constant requests are also the times that I am the most distracted and wanting, or maybe even needing, to do something besides attending to my kiddos. Anything else!

But may I suggest something counter-intuitive? Lay those things aside. Literally put your distractions in another room if you have to! Look your children in the eye and really listen to them. Pull out a book and snuggle on the couch. Play a quick board game. Do an art project or even just sit and listen to them explain their latest Lego creation. Chances are that those few minutes of undivided attention will soothe more of their “needs” than the hurried answers to their zillion questions. Stopping everything to just be together helps calm everyone’s frayed nerves and keeps you all content for longer.

So, cuddle them, snuggle them, and love them to bits, but when you just can’t respond to one more plea or referee one more argument… take your book and chocolate and hide in the bathroom!

Find out more about how I’m living in the trenches of motherhood on my blog- BoldTurquoise.com.

A New Thing {Free Scripture Printable}

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“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:18-19

Last year I really struggled when Christmas was over; New Year’s was approaching, all the “word of the year” posts starting popping up… I felt, well, discouraged and hopeless. That verse at the top of this post? “See I am doing a new thing!” I didn’t believe it. Not one word of it.

You might say I was the “ye of little faith.”

I didn’t really believe that God could do a “new thing” in my life. Motherhood has been pretty hard, all nearly 12 years of it. Homeschooling has been even harder. The struggle with depression seemed never-ending. The weaknesses and character flaws I saw in myself seemed to grow instead of diminish. I did not have one ounce of faith that God could or would do a new thing in my life.

And you might say I was stuck there for quite awhile…maybe for years, even.

You know what is coming, right? But, God…

Friends, there is always, always, a “but” in our hopeless situations. And it always begins and ends with God. No matter how I feel, no matter how hopeless my situation seems, God is always at work and He is always the God of all hope.

That’s not always easy to remember or easy to believe, though. You might have thought I was taking a different direction with this post…you might have thought I was going to say, “Last year I had no faith that God could change my circumstances, but LOOK, HE DID! My life is awesome now! Everything has fallen into place just as I had hoped.”

God didn’t change my circumstances…He changed me.

Instead of a new set of circumstances, He did a new work in my heart. And how many times do we desperately need that from Him? How many times do I just need a shift in perspective, a reminder to be grateful, a glimpse of His face in my sorrow?

Busy moms, whether you are in a good place or a hard place right now, the God of hope has not changed. His feelings and His love for you are not hopeless or based on your behavior or circumstances. His love never fails. When all else around you falls apart, you can cling to that truth.

This New Year’s Day I’m not looking for a brand new set of circumstances to make my life complete. I’m looking to the God of hope, that has given me a new heart in Him, has made me a new creation through Christ, and I am continuing to cling to that verse that I don’t always believe. God is growing my faith…God is stretching me…God is continuing to do a NEW WORK in my heart and I’m so grateful. I’m so grateful for the ways I can see that new thing even though it isn’t the new thing I had hoped for. It’s even better because it is making me more like Him.

With His help I am forgetting the former things that I had hoped would change, I am making a daily {moment by moment} choice to not dwell on the past, I am looking for His newness in me and around me and praising Him for it…no matter how small it may seem.

Take a look around you today! I guarantee He is at work, which means He is doing a new thing for you, too!

Busy moms, if you need visual reminders like I do, I hope you will enjoy this printable Scripture passage I created for you! You can download the PDF printable HERE.

The Real Homeschool Story

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If only I knew how this story was going to end….

Then I think I could do this, I agonized while snuggling into my husband one night.

And it’s not even that I minded the hard work, the sacrifice, and the challenge of homeschooling so much. It’s more the thought of doing all this…for nothing…that got to me. What if it didn’t amount to anything? Or, worse, what if I wasn’t doing it right?

Yes, it was the possibility of this turning out to be more of a fantasy than a Real Life story that discouraged and made me want to give up. I was really counting on a happy ending for this one.

I know. Kinda silly. But that’s how my mind works sometimes (especially when I’m overtired). I want to rush ahead and find out where we’re going with all this….

I want to know the end of the story.

Yet that’s not how it works with homeschooling. You only get to go through one chapter at a time. One child at a time. And on some days? One word at a time.

But take heart, you might not get to peek at the ending, but I’m confident it’s going to be a very good story and certainly one worth writing. And one worth reading someday too.

Hoping to Write a Real Homeschool Story?

1. Don’t be discouraged by a day. It’s only one day. And such days do not determine the entire tale. Just turn that page and keep going. As Anne of Green Gables says, “Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?” Lovely thought. Tomorrow is a fresh piece of paper on which to write something totally new.

2. It’s a story about a relationship – not a method. Truly. It doesn’t matter what curriculum you use or what subjects you cover. While it might not be how it’s presented out there, that’s the inside scoop. What matters is their hearts. That terrific (or lousy) math curriculum will never have the significant impact on their lives that a loving, learning, teaching parent will. You are what they really need.

3. Don’t read over someone else’s shoulder. Their story is not your story. That family over there might look accomplished and successful. And that’s great for them. But you are on your own unique adventure. Look to the Lord what for what He intends for your family. He’s got something in mind specially suited to you.

4. Review Your Main Theme. Remind yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing. “Where there is no vision, the people perish” (Prov. 29:18). So if you feel like you’re “perishing”? Go back to the beginning. Why you started this story in the first place. It might be just what you need to tackle that next chapter.

5. The Lord wants to reveal Himself through your story. Above all. We sometimes forget that this isn’t actually all about us. Or even our children. It’s about the Author and what He’s doing in us and through us.

You only have to let Him shine. Yep. Let Him shine through your weaknesses, your set-backs, and even your mistakes. And isn’t it reassuring to realize that this whole thing doesn’t depend on us, but on Him who is more than able?

So I guess we know how this story is going to end after all.

Because we know Him.

And He’s the Real Story.

Lisa is the happily-ever-after wife of Matt Jacobson, literary agent and author, and together they enjoy raising and home-educating their 8 children. She’s also rather fond of dark chocolate, French press coffee, and deep friendships (though not necessarily in that order). She encourages women to embrace the rich life of loving relationships and the high calling of being a wife and mother. You can find her sharing her passion for husband, home, and family over at Club31Women and on Facebook.

Bad Day

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Monday. Monday Monday Monday. I will confess that I have had a total meltdown already today— it began with the kids bickering over breakfast and got worse from there. For some reason school today was overwhelming. Even the simple problems were frustrating the kids. So I thought I’d get them a snack to lift their spirits (and mine).

I made them all hot chocolate with marshmallows and brought it to the table along with some mixed nuts. I hummed Daniel Powter’s “Bad Day” to myself as I measured out the chocolate powder. I surveyed the kitchen. Dishes everywhere. It was only 9:30. …just keep swimming, just keep swimming.I thought hot chocolate would make things turn around. You know, a little chocolate can do wonders, right?! NOT. Within five minutes child A had spilled child B’s hot chocolate all over her school work and clothes. It soaked through the tablecloth into the carpet and into B’s slippers. Child C proceeded to explain why it was all child D’s fault that no one was obeying.You can imagine where it went from there. : Child B is now folding laundry. I didn’t have the willpower to try and resurrect her ruined notebook pages. Child C is learning why it matters to line up columns when multiplying large numbers (yes, I made C do it until it was right), Child A is finding out how hard it is to get hot chocolate out of the carpet and D is now napping.

Sometimes, life is just hard. Homeschooling is hard. If we’re honest, we can encourage and support each other. If we’re not honest, we can easily find ourselves alone in a glass house. I don’t know about you, but I find I am most encouraged when mom tells me she had a bad day but she didn’t give up. 🙂

So that’s my encouragement to you today—if you’re having a tough time, don’t give up! It’s worth it. Even when the hot chocolate spills.

Be encouraged while you mop up the mess,

heidi

This is Who You Are, Day 1

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Not long ago, in a moment of desperation and frustration, I looked at my husband and lamented, “I live in a state of constantly disappointing someone!” That’s how I felt after forgetting to get back to one of my grown children about a coffee date while simultaneously being behind in everything from laundry to dinner prep.

And yes. I have helpers. That day the kitchen helper complained that her chores were too much, and one of my teens blurted something out about being “ruined” because of homeschooling. Super. Just what I didn’t need to hear. The devil knows exactly where we’re weak, doesn’t he?

I’d love to tell you that I reacted positively to these minor challenges, but I didn’t. I retreated to my room and hosted my own pity party, complete with a Netflix binge session and ice cream.

It felt good, actually. Forget those kids! They can make their own dinner tonight! For that matter, they can do it for the REST OF THEIR LIVES! Our ten year old poked her head into my room and observed that I was “in a bad mood.” She was right. I was.

“I’m just a mom!” I complained. I can’t keep up. Why am I even doing this? Who cares? It doesn’t matter anyway!!

Do you hear the lie? For those few hours that week, I forgot I was part of a battle.

I had forgotten that where mothers are concerned, the devil doesn’t need to change tactics very often. One of his favorite tactics is to tell mothers this simple lie, “You’re just a mom.” But here’s the truth: There’s no such thing as “just a mom.”

Many moms believe this lie because they don’t realize the implications it carries with it. If you are “just a mom,” then:

you are not part of a battle.
you are not capable of training warriors.
your role is insignificant.
it doesn’t matter if you are strong or not.
your role is replaceable.
your role is just for one generation.
your walk with God is not important.
the spiritual battle doesn’t include you.

Do you see? There is no such thing as “just a mom.” You are literally shaping the hearts and minds of an entire generation of children. Moms matter, and the devil knows it. This is why he works overtime to discourage Christian moms from taking an active part in the spiritual nurturing of their children.

We can’t afford to let Satan lie to us any longer. Too much is at stake. We’re dealing with more lies in this generation than in the past sixty years—and it’s time to put this one to bed for good.

You’re more than “just a mom.” You’re more than “ordinary.” You’re ordained for the kingdom purpose of raising your children to follow God. And “just a mom” can’t possibly do that!

Believe it today, and allow the power of the living God to rest on you.

Heidi St. John

Speaking the Truth in Love