Tag Archives: parenting

New Year’s Hope for a Weary Homeschool Mom

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“I’m done!”  Have you ever been there? It’s the kind of “done” that makes everything more frustrating.  The dishes pile up. The laundry calls your name—and your husband’s needs become an annoyance rather than a precious priority.

Anyone?  Can I get a witness?

Well today, I am in the book of Galatians, chapter 6, verse 9. The reason why I decided to go back to this verse (we’ve gone over it a couple times before) is because I know how challenging the holidays can be for busy moms. There are so many things that weigh on us and so many things that we feel like we need to be doing. It seems like the holidays just ramp up stress for us.

If you feel “done” this New Year, you can find encouragement in God’s Word.

Galatians 6:9 says, “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”

I love Paul’s encouragement not to give up. I don’t know about you, but I’ve had a tough week: unexpected things have happened: computer glitches, spilled milk on school assignments, siblings squabbling, and spilled coffee. Yesterday, I re-heated my tea three times before altogether forgetting about it in the microwave.

One thing after another seemed to go “wrong.” Feelings of insecurity and failure invade my New Year’s resolutions before I have even finished my list!  All these things, I must confess, eventually led me to questioning my sanity.  Sanity is a must-have for every busy mom, right? I looked in the mirror and this tired, overwhelmed face stared back at me.

Christmas vacation is almost over. I’m a homeschool mom, so no school bus is coming to take these kids off my hands, no nanny, no babysitter, it’s all me… 24/7. Sometimes I want to give up. After all, I ask myself, “what mom in her right mind chooses to be locked up all day with little people with no hope of reprieve in sight?” Who would be nutty enough to do that?

Uhh…me.

Here’s why: I am trying to “plant with the harvest in mind” like every mom who is raising her kids to love and follow Jesus Christ. When I am wiping juice off the wall, cleaning the toddler’s potty, or instructing the children for what feels like the millionth time on how to finish cleaning the kitchen rather than quitting after the dishwasher is loaded, I need to remember the WHY of all of it. At the end of the day, mothers are not “just” training and teaching their children. Moms are  investing in the next generation of doctors, legislators, lawyers, policemen, bank tellers, construction workers, missionaries, pastors, and mothers who will, by God’s grace, invest their lives in their children.

My own daughter is now a young mother herself.  Watching her with Noah reminds me of the value that raising a family holds. It’s wonderful to begin passing the baton to the next generation. It’s a reminder to me, and to you, that we are investing in our children because they are what is really going to matter at the end of our lives.  They’re worth it.

It goes by fast—don’t grow weary. Persevere, busy mom.

Plant with a harvest in mind.

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Heidi St John Guide to Daylight

Heidi St John Firmly Planted Family Devotional For All Ages

You Can’t Give What You Don’t Have

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Do you have teenagers in your home? If you do, chances are that you have experienced tension in those teenage years.

The Bible says that our children are like arrows in a mighty warrior. Let’s look at Psalm 127:3-5, it says,

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.”

I have been talking about parenting for a long time, not because I have it down–I don’t–not by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, the older I get and the older my kids get, (now we have a couple of them that are young adults and one of them is married and has a son of her own) I realize how much I really don’t know and how very dependent on the Lord I am.

I worry sometimes when I see so many parents making decisions for their teens in order to keep them “safe” rather than teaching them to depend on the Lord and seek them for themselves. We are not teaching them to develop their own set of internalized Biblical convictions: a set of standards that they derive from the Bible, so that when we are not around them, they are capable of making good, moral, and wise decisions.

We have been talking to parents awhile now about inconsistency in parenthood and consistency in your walk with God. Remember when I talked about the Firmly Planted Bible series that Jay and I wrote for families? The reason why Jay and I wrote those is because we are seeing so many families who are giving their kids rules but they are not directing them to Scripture.  It’s easy to parent our children out of fear and not even realize we’re doing it.

Teenagers, especially, need to understand the boundaries that God has set for us in Scripture. As parents, we have to know God’s word.

I want to encourage you today to spend time with God. Read His Word for yourself. Often times, we do not know how to use the Bible to guide us in matters of everyday living, and our own lack of knowledge is keeping us from teaching our children to live in a Biblically wise way.

It’s easy for me to get tired and neglect my own time with the Lord. Maybe you can relate. If you are parenting your children from a spiritually dry place yourself, remember this: you can’t give them what you don’t have. If you don’t have a walk with the Lord, if you don’t have a clear understanding of God’s Word, or a love for His will, or a clear method of reasoning with Biblical convictions, your children won’t have that either.

We should be teaching our children to love, serve, and follow the Lord, so that they can stay away from the two spectrums that the world defines as religion. There’s a ditch on either side. We always tell our kids; the one ditch is legalism–where everything is bound by law and things done by rote. The other side of that is pervasiveness, where we say, “Well, it doesn’t matter, everyone’s truth is different.”

Both of those are not Biblical boundaries. A true believer decides that the Lord is in charge of his life and willingly lives inside those boundaries, he does not live testing them. Often times we find our children testing them and I’ve noticed some things in the life of our own children, and, frankly, in my own life, that our convictions are based on the truth of God’s word. We must have those convictions in our hearts, and in order for me to impart those to my children, and to do what the Bible says in Deuteronomy, to train my children to love and follow the Lord, I have to be doing that in my own life.

When you think about what the most important thing is you can do for your children, think of it in the context of how you can help them walk with the Lord. I am convinced that it is so important to define the concept of conviction and personal responsibility in our children within the framework of God’s Word.

So, take them back to His Word–over and over again. Don’t simply give them someone else’s sermon on CD.  If they have a question that you don’t have an answer to, it’s okay to say, “You know what? I don’t have the answer to that. But God does. Let’s pray about it.”

Be a place where your kids can be a sounding board and get to know God’s word yourself in a personal way, because you can’t give your kids what you don’t have yourself.

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Heidi St John Firmly Planted Family Devotional For All Ages

Wisdom and the Hard Work of Parenting

Have you noticed how hard parenting can be?

I’ve been talking with my husband lately about how difficult parenting can be.  I said to him the other day, “You know, you’d think that after twenty three years of parenting we would have this down!”  We both just stared blankly at each other—you know, the kind of staring you do when you’re spent and don’t have anything left to say… that kind.

Having children and actually doing the tough job of parenting them can really push you. I’ve noticed that as our children have gotten older, we’ve needed to rely more and more and more on God and His wisdom as we parent our children.  There’s a funny thing about children: they may come from the same set of parents, but they are NEVER the same, are they?

We have seven children, and they are nothing like each other.  They don’t have the same personalities, they don’t look the same, they don’t struggle with the same things, and we often marvel to each other that two parents can have seven children that could be so different!  Because of this, we need unique guidance from the Lord for them.

I want to read to you today from James 1.  I hope you’ll get out your highlighters or your pencils and pens and write in the margins of your Bible and at the very least, write today’s date.  There’s something about looking back in your Bible and remembering when God taught you something new or spoke to you in a new way.

This verse is a great verse for moms especially.  Listen to what James had to say about wisdom:

If any of you lacks wisdom, ask our generous God, and He will give it to you.  He will not rebuke you for asking, but when you ask Him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave tossed by the wind.  Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.  Their loyalty is divided between God and the world. They are unstable in everything they do.”

God is telling us that He wants us to have faith in Him when we ask Him for things. So mom, when you need faith for that child of yours who is faithless, or you need wisdom for a decision that has been weighing you down, ask the Lord.  He wants you to come before Him with great faith and trust in Him, because He is trustworthy.  If you’re struggling today, take your struggle to the Lord.  Tell Him that you need to have more faith.  Ask Him for the wisdom that you need for that child or that teenager, or that ten-year old that’s making you crazy.  Ask the Lord to show you exactly what that child needs.  Ask him for that specific situation.

The Lord wants to give it to you. He says that if you need wisdom, ask Him, and He’ll give it to you.

He’s good like that.

Heidi St John Firmly Planted Family Devotional For All Ages

Only What is Helpful

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Today we’re in the book of Ephesians, chapter 4, verse 29.  (Ephesians 4:29)

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up, according to their needs, that it might benefit those who listen.”

Wow. That it might benefit those who listen. I had read this verse a couple of times because I am not a very good example, I think, to my kids sometimes!  The Bible says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth.”  Well,  I don’t have that down.

“…but only what is helpful” … no, I don’t have that down.  “That it might benefit those who listen.”  As we’re praying today, before we take on the day and before the busyness of the day sets in, let’s take a moment and Continue reading

This is Who You Are, Day 6

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. 2 Timothy 2:15

I have been talking about parenting for a long time, not because I have it down, by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, the older I get and the older my kids get, I realize how much I really don’t know and how very dependent on the Lord I am.

It’s easy for me to get tired and busy and neglect my own time with the Lord. Maybe you can relate. If you are parenting your children from a spiritually dry place yourself, remember this: you can’t give them what you don’t have. If you don’t have a walk with the Lord, if you don’t have a clear understanding of God’s Word, or a love for His will, or a clear method of reasoning with Biblical convictions, your children won’t have that either.

I want to encourage you today to spend time with God. Read His Word for yourself. Often times, we do not know how to use the Bible to guide us in matters of everyday living, and our own lack of knowledge is keeping us from teaching our children to live in a Biblically wise way. Our job is to teach them to develop their own set of internalized Biblical convictions: a set of standards that they derive from the Bible, so that when we are not around them, they are capable of making good, moral, and wise decisions.

We should be teaching our children to love, serve, and follow the Lord, so that they can stay away from the two spectrums that the world defines as religion. There’s a ditch on either side. We always tell our kids; the one ditch is legalism–where everything is bound by law and things done by rote. The other side of that is moral relativism where truth is undefined.

Neither of those are Biblical boundaries. A true believer decides that the Lord is in charge of his life and willingly lives inside those boundaries, he does not live testing them. Often times we find our children testing them and I’ve noticed some things in the life of our own children, and, frankly, in my own life, that our convictions are based on the truth of God’s word. We must have those convictions in our hearts, and in order for me to impart those to my children, and to do what the Bible says in Deuteronomy, to train my children to love and follow the Lord, I have to be doing that in my own life.

Jay and I wrote a Bible Study series because we are seeing so many families who are giving their kids rules but they are not directing them to Scripture. It’s easy to parent our children out of fear and not even realize we’re doing it. Older kids, especially, need to understand the boundaries that God has set for us in Scripture. As parents, we have to know God’s word.

When you think about what the most important thing is you can do for your children, think of it in the context of how you can help them walk with the Lord. I am convinced that it is so important to define the concept of conviction and personal responsibility in our children within the framework of God’s Word.

So, take them back to His Word–over and over again. If they have a question that you don’t have an answer to, it’s okay to say, “You know what? I don’t have the answer to that. But God does. Let’s pray about it.”

Be a place where your kids can be a sounding board and get to know God’s word yourself in a personal way, because you can’t give your kids what you don’t have yourself. You can do it, because God will give you what you need. Just ask!