Author Archives: Heidi St. John

About Heidi St. John

Heidi has been married to her husband Jay since 1989. Together they have seven children and three grandchildren! The St. Johns homeschooled their kids all the way through high school. Heidi is the the author of seven books, host of the popular podcast "Off the Bench," and the founder of MomStrong International, an online community of women learning God's Word and how to apply it to every day life. She and her husband Jay are also the founders of Firmly Planted Family and the Firmly Planted Homeschool Resource Center, located in Vancouver, Washington.

This is Who You Are, Day 3

2 Replies

I am complete in Him Who is the Head of all principality and power (Colossians 2:10).
I am alive with Christ (Ephesians 2:5).
I am free from the law of sin and death (Romans 8:2).
I am far from oppression, and fear does not come near me (Isaiah 54:14).
I am born of God, and the evil one does not touch me (1 John 5:18).
I am holy and without blame before Him in love (Ephesians 1:4; 1 Peter 1:16).

I love my kids. Our seven children range in age from 6 to 25 at the moment. Our oldest daughter and her husband have two beautiful little boys. That makes me *gasp* “Mamsi.” Our youngest daughter was an “aunt” at the age of three. I love that too. Sometimes I look at my children and I cannot believe how fast the years go by—but there are days when I have struggled to appreciate the gift I’ve been given.

Motherhood is hard. Much harder than I thought it would be, and it’s more demanding for sure. No one told me it was going to be so hard.

Many years ago, this truth was shared with me from another wise mother. She had raised her five girls and literally poured her life out to do it. When her last child left home, she was devastated. She battled depression and resentment. Her marriage suffered. Finally, at her husband’s request, she decided to do something that was just for her. She told me she wished she had done it years earlier. She began a small craft business and now, she’s enjoying a season of being a grandmother and an Etsy entrepreneur.

Her advice to me? “Do something to nurture your spirit while you nurture your children. Don’t wait until they’re grown.” .. and so, I began to write. Fifteen years ago I started writing a little column for our church newsletter. I loved it. It helped me think about something other than dishes and diapers. Eventually I wrote a book. Then another.

People sometimes ask me how I find time to write when I’m raising children. I don’t find time. I make it. Sometimes, it’s early in the morning. Sometimes it’s late. Truthfully? Writing is a joy for me. So I make time for it. Find your identity in being the woman God has created you to be. Part of your identity is found in motherhood. Where else is it found? What gifts has He given you? Do you like to organize? Teach? Sew? Write?

If you take time to nurture your spirit, even just a little, while your children are still growing, when they leave, you’ll find the transition will be easier.

Motherhood only lasts for a season. Some of us have longer seasons than others but in the end, motherhood is a journey worth taking.

Now excuse me. I hear hollering from the other room… I think the toddler is having an issue.
I am God’s workmanship, created in Christ unto good works (Ephesians 2:10).

This is Who You Are, Day 2

4 Replies

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:11-13

I looked in the mirror one day and laughed along with God. No joke. I laughed.

Why? Because I have seven kids, that’s why. And I think it makes God smile. Why? Because it’s me, that’s why. Me.

The woman who has to buy silk plants because I have a startling ability to kill both plants and small animals. (I boiled my fish to death in their aquarium when I was 14. True story. In my defense, the thermostat broke while I was at school. But still. I think I have PTSD from that episode.) God knew all about my anti-nurturing qualities and still, He saw fit to entrust me with seven precious lives. S E V E N beautiful pairs of baby feet. Made just for me and my husband by the God of the universe.

I think God is smiling at me right this minute, thinking about my dead fish and my silk plants—and those seven precious people who call me … MOM.

You see, God knows me. I’ve learned He knows me better than I know myself. He knows my name. I like to picture Him saying it … I listen for it. And I hear Him—in the stillness that comes with the morning light. I hear Him. “Heidi.”

Just.Like.That. Gentle, patient, like a father should be.

Like any good father, He knew I was terrified of motherhood. Terrified that I was destined to repeat a generational sin in my family. Terrified that I was not equipped to take care of a baby. Terrified that I would mess it up. And even more terrified to admit it.

My Father knew my fears as a young mother-to-be.

And He still knows them. {He’s good like that.}

Sometimes, Father lets me wrestle with a question. Sometimes, He sends an answer. Rarely early. Never late. I think He knows when I need an answer and when I can wait a while longer.

In September of 1991, I had a question that couldn’t wait. I needed an answer. Life hung in the balance. New life. I was a woman who was about to give birth. My fear of failing bubbled to the surface. My spirit struggled under the weight of an uncertain future.

He knows my name. He knows my name.

Could I do this? Really? Could I overcome my fear?

Just a few days before our precious first-born entered this world, I broke down. As I sat in the living room of a dear woman of God, I confided in her. I unpacked my fears. I told my story, and God sent me His answer through this precious friend. Rarely early. Never late. “I can’t do it!” I wailed. “I don’t know how! I don’t know how not to be angry.” It was all I had ever known, really. Anger.

He knows my name.

“Heidi, ” Nola said, “Why are you crying? God has made you new. You are a new creation! You are redeemed! Called by name. Loved. Set apart. You are not bound by your past. You.Are.New.”

He knows my name.

In that moment, I was set free. Free to be the woman God made me to be. Free to be the mother I wanted to be. That was nearly twenty-two years ago. Do I still battle with my fears? Yes. Do I struggle? Fall? Fail? Yes. But here’s the thing: I’m learning what it means to be truly free. Free to be imperfect. Free to ask for help. Free to mess things up. To ask for grace —grace to be the woman God sees when He looks at me.

He knows my name.

He knows your name too, precious mom. He knows your fears—He’s seen your failures.

And He loves you.

You can trust Him with those. Lean hard into His arms. He can hold you up.

He knows your name. Can you hear Him saying it? Look up. Listen. He knows your name.

This is Who You Are, Day 1

11 Replies

Not long ago, in a moment of desperation and frustration, I looked at my husband and lamented, “I live in a state of constantly disappointing someone!” That’s how I felt after forgetting to get back to one of my grown children about a coffee date while simultaneously being behind in everything from laundry to dinner prep.

And yes. I have helpers. That day the kitchen helper complained that her chores were too much, and one of my teens blurted something out about being “ruined” because of homeschooling. Super. Just what I didn’t need to hear. The devil knows exactly where we’re weak, doesn’t he?

I’d love to tell you that I reacted positively to these minor challenges, but I didn’t. I retreated to my room and hosted my own pity party, complete with a Netflix binge session and ice cream.

It felt good, actually. Forget those kids! They can make their own dinner tonight! For that matter, they can do it for the REST OF THEIR LIVES! Our ten year old poked her head into my room and observed that I was “in a bad mood.” She was right. I was.

“I’m just a mom!” I complained. I can’t keep up. Why am I even doing this? Who cares? It doesn’t matter anyway!!

Do you hear the lie? For those few hours that week, I forgot I was part of a battle.

I had forgotten that where mothers are concerned, the devil doesn’t need to change tactics very often. One of his favorite tactics is to tell mothers this simple lie, “You’re just a mom.” But here’s the truth: There’s no such thing as “just a mom.”

Many moms believe this lie because they don’t realize the implications it carries with it. If you are “just a mom,” then:

you are not part of a battle.
you are not capable of training warriors.
your role is insignificant.
it doesn’t matter if you are strong or not.
your role is replaceable.
your role is just for one generation.
your walk with God is not important.
the spiritual battle doesn’t include you.

Do you see? There is no such thing as “just a mom.” You are literally shaping the hearts and minds of an entire generation of children. Moms matter, and the devil knows it. This is why he works overtime to discourage Christian moms from taking an active part in the spiritual nurturing of their children.

We can’t afford to let Satan lie to us any longer. Too much is at stake. We’re dealing with more lies in this generation than in the past sixty years—and it’s time to put this one to bed for good.

You’re more than “just a mom.” You’re more than “ordinary.” You’re ordained for the kingdom purpose of raising your children to follow God. And “just a mom” can’t possibly do that!

Believe it today, and allow the power of the living God to rest on you.

Every Mom is a Working Mom :)

2 Replies

Nothing Worth Doing is Ever Easy -Including Homeschooling

2 Replies

Tired.

Exhausted, really. Some days, we wake up and we seriously don’t know where we are. Texas? Florida? Tennessee? Louisiana? Michigan? Kentucky?

You see, the inside of the RV looks the same every morning. Often times, we pull into a site late at night. So it is quite often a surprise to the kids to see where we are. This morning, we started the day in Niagara Falls, NY. Tonight, we’ll end the day in Ludington, MI.

As I type this, the kids are settling in for six more hours on the road. A movie is playing. RV is gassed up and tummies are full. It’s a good feeling.

Got a lot on your plate?

But in case you get that “wouldn’t it be nice to RV with our kids” feeling, I’ve gotta admit: it’s not easy. Just a few hours ago, kids were crying, dad was stressing, cars were cutting us off, cell phones were ringing, baby was crying and a half-gallon of orange juice was spilling behind the couch. But that’s just this afternoon.

That brings me to homeschooling. It’s not easy. And anyone who has been at it for more than a week knows it. It’s not a secret that homeschool moms sacrifice their time and energy (and sometimes, their sanity!) in order to educate their kids at home. More often than not, homeschool moms share many things in common: her pastor thinks she’s crazy, her mom wonders what she did wrong and her best friend is always trying to talk her into putting her kids in school so she can “have a life.” As my dear friend Steve Lambert says, “Only homeschool moms would choose to be LOCKED UP all day with little people while the rest of the civilized world sends their kids off to be taken care of by someone else!”

So true. It is a sacrifice. It’s hours of work, days on end. And just like everything else worth doing in this life, we are looking far down the road. Successful homeschool moms are not looking at today. They’re looking years down the road. They know that the sacrifice they are making today will, Lord willing, pay huge dividends in the future.

Yes, it’s worth it, homeschool mom! At the end of the day you won’t find a more worthy calling as a mom than to homeschool your kids. And really, nothing worth doing is EVER easy. Take marriage for example. Or parenting. Or being an entrepreneur. It’s difficult. But stick with it … and one day …you’ll get to see that your little tree bears fruit. Fruit that has an impact into eternity.

You see, for the Christian parent, homeschooling provides an amazing opportunity for for you to disciple your children. To have them by your side, to teach them of God’s love – to show them- what it looks like to “stay the course” even when it’s difficult … these are lessons that homeschooling will help you teach without making one lesson plan.

If you’re wondering if it’s going to be a pain in the neck at times, well, it is. But if you’re looking for a lifetime investment that will yield dividends far into the future, then homeschooling is for you.

Stick with it, busy mom! Fruit takes time to grow. But in due season, you’ll reap a harvest of JOY for the sacrifice you’re making now.

It’s worth it!
heidi

Baby, It’s HOT Outside!

5 Replies

Currently: heading to Hebron, Kentucky in the dark. ’cause it’s cooler in the dark.
Next stop: The Creation Museum
Next speaking engagement: Nashville, TN on the 11th @6pm

Howdy, y’all!

Turns out, you can breathe in 80% humidity. But not very well. And it also turns out the the RV

Heidi with Esther (director of FC in Pineville, LA) and Janet (director of FC in NW Houston) We spoke in Louisiana and got to meet many FCHM leaders there. It was such a blessing!

does NOT like the heat. In fact, the generator just flat-out quits when it gets too hot. And then, we get too hot. Apparently the generator is not well ventilated and when it gets hot outside it just can’t keep up. So we have traveled most of our trip with spotty AC. It goes when we’re parked, but not when we’re moving. HUGE. BUMMER. Typical enemy-type stuff, too. Seems he’s getting a lot of mileage (pardon the pun) out of crippling our RV.

As you might imagine, we’re learning a lot through this trial! I’ve learned that we don’t get along very well when we’re hot. It would be fair to say we’re downright awful to each other at times. Being hot and sticky is NOT good for family togetherness, no matter what they say on those resort commercials.

We’re also learning how to deal with the heat a little better. A little.

We’ve been very encouraged by what God is doing as we travel and speak. It’s always humbling to be part of something that God is already doing in the life of someone else. This trip, we have spoken with many people who were just in need of a little “shot in the arm” as they head into a new school year– and we’ve also spoken with parents on the brink of divorce. Truly, these families need the support of their local church.

Leaving the Roemer’s house in Sacramento. Scott and Patty direct First Class in Folsom.

SPENCER, our 10 year old son, continues to raise money for Options 360 as we travel. We’re so proud of him! He has made speeches in front of as many as 100+ and as few as 10 but his enthusiasm and passion for defending the unborn shines the same each time he speaks. In Alabama, he met a mom who told him that she decided not to have an abortion because of an ultrasound. This made Spencer’s day because he’s pretty sure he has raised enough money to provide 10 ultrasounds! It’s exciting to see him boldly speak to a group of grownups … and also humbling.

What’s behind us: Just finished speaking in Oklahoma City, Atmore, Alabama, Pineville, Louisiana, Panama City and tonight, Jacksonville, FL. What a week. And it’s not going to slow down now for a little while.

What’s ahead of us: We’ll be in Nashville by Thursday, then on to eastern Tennessee, Maryland, Virginia and Michigan where we’ll wrap up the trip.

We’ve hit the truly truly busy part of our trip, speaking twice a week until we end up at Maranatha Family Camp in Muskegon, Michigan the third week of August. We will be more than ready for the cooler Michigan temps, too!

What I wake up to every morning 🙂

People ask us about traveling all the time and want to know what it’s like: well … it’s really good and it can be really bad all at the same time. The heat makes us crabby, but the people we meet encourage us. Our kids help at every stop … from book sales to answering curriculum questions they are very involved. Savannah is always getting questions from parents eager to know how she is doing in college, given the fact that she was homeschooled through high school and it’s always good to hear how she graciously answers questions and calms the fears of new homeschooling parents.

SAYLOR JANE, our 8 month old is growing like a weed as we travel! I think the humidity is good for her! 🙂 She outgrew her cute little bassinet so we had to dismantle it and mail it home. She went from sitting up to crawling AND she waves to people now! So sweet. We are loving this season of her precious little life as well. She makes us all laugh every day.

Overall we’re doing well. God has ways of refreshing our spirits even when we are tired and grumpy. He’s good that way. 🙂 We have stayed in homes of strangers who become friends and we’ve shared life with old friends we see at homeschool conventions.

Also, everywhere we go, we meet wonderful “accidental” homeschoolers like ourselves. We’re so grateful for the opportunity to speak to them and hopefully, bring a little glimpse of God’s heart for them along the way.

I can’t close this entry without a little quote, either 🙂

Sydney asked where we were heading tonight. When I told her Kentucky, she said, “Do they have kids there?” She thought Kentucky was a seminar stop, and not a state!

From the Road to Kentucky,

heidi

Overheard …

36 Replies

A friend of mine suggested that I try to keep track of comments we hear in the RV. Turns out we are a pretty funny family…. very ordinary but funny in our own way. See if you agree… 🙂

“Sydney! Get out of the baby’s carseat! Summer, put Saylor back in it.”

“Quick! Someone get daddy a napkin! His ice-cream bar just fell apart in his lap. Nevermind. Bring him 100 napkins and a spray bottle!”

“Are we there yet?” “No. We have like eleven hours to go.” … “Oh. Does that mean I can get out the playdough?” …. NO.

“Where’s Spencer?”

“Look!!! Fireflies!!!”

“It’s hot. Is this what God is trying to keep people from when they die?” 🙂 … Spencer: “No, but it might be similar because it doesn’t cool off at night.”

Sydney, commenting on all the rocks spread randomly over the sand dunes and desert floor in AZ: “This is where God puts the rocks that He doesn’t know what to do with.”

“Can I have another Otter Pop?”

“Mom, there are nice people everywhere.”

“Can we go home soon?”

“It’s a good thing we can trust God.”

“Some truck stops are sketchy. Like little New Orleans islands.”

“Daaaadddyyyyy! Skylar took the iPad again!”

“Has anyone seen Sydney’s flip flops?” (Actually this gets asked several times a day.)

“I feel sticky.”

Sydney (age 5) “One time, I punched Skylar in the nose. It did not go well with him.”

Mom: “Let’s play the quiet game!” Kids: “What do we win?” Dad: “You get to keep on living.”

“I love you.”

“Can we go to Costco? It feels like home in there.”

“History is better than Disneyland!”

“I have a new friend… she is homeschooled, too!”

Traveling south? Expect some heat.

“Am I six yet?”

“I love that there are First Class co-ops all over the entire universe!”

“The sky out here is really big.”

“Has anyone seen my giant grasshopper??” …. !!!!!

“Daddy! Even the cold water is hot here!”

Overheard at homeschool conventions:

Me to Todd Wilson: “What do you do with your kids at all these homeschool conventions?” Todd: “We call them ‘Children of the Hall’ .” Me: Yes! That’s it!!!

“Mom, can we go to the Timberdoodle booth again? They’re nice.”

“Kids! Which booth did that come from? Take it back.”

“Look mom! They have hats that say, ‘Homeschool Girl!’ And that’s who I AM!!!”

“Is that YOU on the cover of your book?” Me: “Yes, I color my hair to keep things interesting for Jay.” 🙂 That way he gets a whole new girl every time I come home from the salon!”

Spencer: “Mom, Ken Ham is speaking in the big room. I just love his point of view. Can I go and listen to him talk about the dinosaurs?”

Jay: “Heidi, did you need me to hook your computer up for the workshops?” Me: “Yes – did I mention that you are my hero?”

The Petrified Forest: Even the ROCKS cry out!