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improve your homeschool

The One Thing You Can do Today to Radically Improve Your Homeschool

When I began homeschooling some 18 years ago, I set out to have the best homeschool possible.

I read books on education.  Lots of books!

I attended homeschool conventions.

I spared no expense on homeschool curriculum.  Lots and lots of homeschool curriculum.

I poured my life out for my kids believing that it would produce excellence in them.

And then everything fell apart.

I’ll spare you the gory details but suffice to say that by neglecting my husband (he was a ‘big boy’ after all, right?) I was not saving time, I was undermining our whole family structure.

God describes the ideal family dynamic in Colossians:

Colossians 3:18-21: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter toward them. Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”

Although adhering to these principles may go against our natural inclinations, well, they work!

When I put the needs and concerns of my husband over those of my kids, he is a blessed guy.

When my husband is a blessed guy, guess what?  He wants to bless his family!

This is not meant to be a legalistic statement.  You’re not going to hell if you neglect your husband.

You just may, however, experience a little bit of heaven if you do.

Here is what I mean.  When I honor and bless my husband by putting his needs first, I may not get the house completely clean or finish that great, life-changing family read aloud on schedule.  Honestly, this can bother me.  I like to get my list checked off.

However, if I put aside these types of things, say by putting my kids to bed earlier, in favor of spending more quiet time with my husband, he feels important.

When my husband feels important and valued, he is more interested in pouring into our home and school.  I find that he begins to anticipate my needs and help me in ways that I never would have asked.

Four Ways to Bless Your Husband Today

  • Forgive his shortcomings quickly, just as you want your shortcomings to be forgiven.
  • Stop what you are doing, ahem, and listen to him.
  • Admire him for what he does well – let him know you appreciate him!
  • Pray for him everyday.  It isn’t easy supporting and leading a family.

As a young mom, I believed that the more I did for my kids, the better our family would be.  Now I have come to understand that if I want the best for my family, I need to put my husband first by loving and honoring him within our home.

How about you?  Have you seen a difference in your home by putting your husband first?

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Heidi St John Guide to Romance

Heidi St John Homeschooling Guide to Daylight

Do Moms Need Girlfriend Time?

Girlfriend Time 1000

We wear many hats. We are wife, mother, sister, daughter, daughter of God, homemaker, maybe homeschooler, maybe even business woman, too. Of course we need to spend intentional time with our husband, our kids, on our house, for our business, and most definitely with God. We’re cutting up that Time Pie pretty quickly aren’t we?

But do moms need Girlfriend Time, too?

I’m going to give a big, honkin’, YES!

Remember when you were young, a gaggle of girls getting together giggling and guffawing the time away? Sleepovers were the best–staying up way too late having the best fun.  Laughter is good medicine, and sharing laughter is where friendships are born, and sharing hearts after the laughter is spent is where friendships are cemented.

We need that.

I’m not saying we need that every day, and I’m certainly not saying it’s more important than Family Time or God Time. But we definitely need Friend Time, too.

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22 (ESV)

More than that, we need good friendships with with women we can call sisters in Christ – women who are older and wiser than us, women who are younger and looking up to us, women who above all else seek to honor God with their lives.

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17 <– (Or in our case, “woman.”)

Thanks to technology, our great big world is also amazingly small. I can have and make friends all over the world. I can write them, call them, text with them, chat or video chat with them, email them, comment on their blogs, connect with them through Facebook or Twitter, and all sorts of wonderful things.

I have friends who I used to know well but who now live far away and I have really good friends who I have never even met.

I have friends who homeschool and those who don’t, friends from all walks of faith, friends who are single and married, friends from varying backgrounds and political stances – so much diversity.

Friendship is a good thing. But while we “stay connected” to our large circle of friends, let’s make sure that we make time to intentionally connect with that smaller circle of Christian sisters on a regular basis.

Yes, we can text and online chat, visit at church and talk on the phone – that all counts. But it isn’t nearly as good as the real thing, right? Hang out for an afternoon while the kids play in the backyard, sneak out once a month to go for coffee – something. It will vary depending on your circumstances. And while you’re together, share, love, laugh, encourage, and enjoy. A good time with a good friend is a refreshing boost wrapped up in a smile.

And let’s face it… while we’re in the trenches of motherhood, we need a refreshing boost every now and then, don’t we? We need moms who have gone before or who are in the trenches with us to say, “Yes! I get you!! Hang in there, we can do this!”

Recently, I had the opportunity to attend a conference with a friend. The conference was wonderful. The fellowship we had on the drive down and overnight was just as wonderful. That’s not something we can do very often, but we can seek little ways to get fellowship with our friends in smaller doses more frequently. We should.

Because friend, I know motherhood is hard. It’s hard and wonderful and challenging and amazing and exhausting in more ways that one. But you know what? I get you! Hang in there. You can do this!

So what do you think?
Do you think moms need Girlfriend Time, too?

 Background Image Source: Teacup Coffee Flower by Elizabeth Lindhag

A Busy Mom’s Guide To A Home Gym

**This post contains affiliate links.  Thank you for supporting The Busy Mom at no additional cost to you!**

Fitness. Work outs. Losing weight. Five words most of us homeschool moms laugh at because come on – what homeschool mom really has the time to head to the gym every day and get a workout in? I try, trust me. But more often than not, I just can’t swing it!

As a homeschool mom, kind of shifts your time availability for these sorts of things to very little, or none at all. By the time your school day is finished, you’re getting dinner ready, the house picked up and looking forward to when the kids go down to bed. And in the morning, even if you did have a half hour or an hour to work out – it just seams impossible to get out the door to head to the gym. Or maybe, you just can’t afford the monthly gym memberships, and if you can – the gym day care is never open when you need it to be.

I think I’ve faced each and every one of those obstacles. And for those of you who share the same obstacles, I’ve compiled a list of items that will help you set up your own home gym, and easily get a full body workout without ever having to step foot in a gym.

A Busy Mom's Guide To A Home Gym 500

1. Free Weights

Free weights are the essential to get a good work out.  I wouldn’t be surprised if you found a pair or two at your local thrift store. I would even check out Craigslist or local garage sales. You ideal set would be a light weight, medium weight, and a heavy weight. For the heavy weights, you don’t really need two. I use my heavy wight for overhead tricep extensions. It’s easier to grab one heavy weight with both hands, than trying to isolate muscles with two individual weights. But, it’s totally up to you.

2. Resistance bands

I think I avoided resistance bands like the plague. But when I finally picked up a pair, I ended up loving them! The best kind are the ones that come with three options for resistance – light, medium, and heavy.

3. Medicine Ball

Over the last year, I’ve really fallen in love with medicine balls. Ideally, you would toss one back and forth with someone else as a warm up. Fully extending your arms on each throw. If you don’t have someone to do that with, you could do the following as part of your warm up:

  • Stand straight up. Arms relaxed. Now bring them to the front of your hips, just right below your belly button, where they fall naturally when your hands are holding each other. Right there is where you will be holding your medicine ball.
  • Next, do a squat. When you are in the seated position, fully extend your arms (medicine ball in hands).
  • To end. Stand up, and extend arms above your head, with the medicine ball in hands.

That’s the whole move. Repeat about 10 – 15 times, or more if you feel you can go more. It’s a great warm up!

4. Balance ball

I have a love hate relationship with my balance ball. Most of them come with ideas for workouts you can do with them. I like to use them for sit ups, push-ups (legs on the ball, hands on the floor), and to balance on while I work out my upper body with free weights.

5. Pull up bar

A pull up bar can be a bit intimidating, but it’s awesome for upper body workouts. I would suggest buying this pull up bar because it has multiple grip options allowing you to target specific areas of your upper body, working muscles from different angles. If you have ever done P90X, you’ll recognize it.

So that’s it! Just those 5 things and I promise, you’ll be fully equipped and ready to do full body workout at home!

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Heidi St John Guide to Daylight

Homeschooling Made Simple

*this post includes affiliate links*

Even though we have eight children and are in our 18th year of homeschooling, the thought of writing a blog about it terrifies me.  You would think after this many years, I would be some sort of professional.  The truth is, I am easily overwhelmed by the scads of information and choices there are now.  Everything from method to curriculum.  If I were young again and just starting out or thinking about homeschooling,  I’m pretty sure you would find me in a corner somewhere in the fetal position, sucking my thumb!

If you are thinking about homeschooling or just starting out, I encourage you to KEEP THINGS SIMPLE.  Don’t overwhelm yourself with information, but pray diligently for God’s leading in schooling your kids.  He knows them better than you do, and He will be faithful to show you what’s best for them.  Ask God to BRING to you what HE wants for your family.  Don’t spend time comparing yourself to others.  Your family is unique and has it’s own “culture”.  The beauty of home schooling is that we can customize our learning to fit our family’s lifestyle.  That means we are NOT modeling the public school classroom.

Sam on trampoline square with logo

It is important to nurture your children’s love of learning and that means, especially when they are young, we follow their lead and interests as much as possible.  Especially with boys, there often seems to be a need to wait longer to start any formal schooling.  It’s a delicate line to walk of encouraging, but not pushing.   We have tried to do this so as to foster their love of learning.  What has happened at our house is, about age 12-14, instead of being burnt out on learning, they suddenly start to “own” their education.  They realize how much they are capable of learning, how many things they are interested in and begin to pursue accordingly, on their own.  We have also taught our children to be resourceful: to know how to find out what it is they want to know.  My thought has always been that if you nurture their love for learning and teach them to be resourceful, they will be able to do whatever they decide they want to do!

When our kids were little, I had a need to be able to tangibly see their progress, so I used some workbooks, but kept them to a minimum.  To learn reading, we started out with Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons.  This book teaches to read phonetically and is broken up into short, easy lessons.  It is simple enough for your older, reading children to use in teaching the youngers, which is very helpful if you have several children.  When the kids were reading somewhat well and able to write their letters, I would start them in an age appropriate math and language book.  The plan was to do a couple pages in each book every morning, but with so many little ones, much of the time we were doing well to get 3 days a week done.

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My goal is to be as consistent as is humanly possible. But life happens and I am not consistent if we have too much on our plate.  We keep our school plan simple so that we have flexibility to let the kids follow some interests on their own. What that looks like for us through the elementary years is to try to make sure that we do the basics each day: math and language arts (including reading, writing, etc).  Science and history are something our kids, at this age, explore on their own.  I try to listen for the things they seem interested in and have good books around for them to read.  We can waste a lot of time at the library trying to find appropriate books, so a good book list resource is important. One of my favorite book lists is,  “Read for the Heart: Whole Books for WholeHearted Families” by Sarah Clarkson.  The books listed are not “twaddle”, but meaningful books, with good illustrations and listed by subject and age appropriateness.

I also love Five in a Row by Jane Lambert.  This is more of a unit study that you can use for several age levels at once.  You read the suggested books (which were carefully chosen by Jane) as a springboard.  Then she does a beautiful job of explaining different activities and conversations for several subjects based on that book.  You have the option of doing as little or as much as you want or need for that day. (They have a free complete unit available for download, so it’s really easy to try it out!)

When they get into jr. high, we start to be more intentional in adding science and/or history to the basic mix. Sometimes it works well to combine two subjects.  For instance, right now, two of our boys are choosing a time period that they study (with resources they find) and take notes on for 2 weeks.   Then they write a report about all that they learned and turn it in to me.  By doing this, they cover history, reading, writing (sentence structure, spelling, punctuation, taking good notes, grammar)  and meeting a deadline.

  Sandpoint august 11 011 square with logo and pinnable

This plan worked well for all of our children…except the last one.  He has had some learning issues and, in his case, it was important to get an earlier start.  Dyslexia, dysgraphia, etc. require early intervention, so if you are suspect that your child might have some learning issues, make sure you get a diagnosis sooner rather than later.

The truth is that our kids will remember more from our example than from what we say.  All the practicalities aside, what is our goal?  Don’t we want to raise children who love the Lord and carry out His purposes for them?  That means that school revolves around home, not home around school.  I believe the best way to do that is to live life with our kids. Be authentic, be intentional and most of all, be gospel centered, growing right alongside your children.

You can read more by Durenda on homeschooling by visiting her at Simple Nourishing Home

Heidi St John Homeschooling Guide to Daylight

When you feel like you just can't go on, sometimes you just need to take a nap!

Busy mom, take a nap!

January was a rough month for me. My youngest son broke his arm the first weekend of the year. The following week a slightly romantic relationship ended. Then I was really sick for a while and just when I started to feel better, my mom was in an accident in my car. Thankfully no one was hurt, but my car was out of commission for a while.  I remember lying down in my bed one night with the weight of stress on my shoulders and realized that I was exhausted.  So I did something that I don’t do often: I slept.

And I don’t mean that I went to bed for the night. I slept. I went to bed early and woke up late. My boys made themselves cereal and watched cartoons when I went back to bed a few hours later. I stayed in my jammies for a few days because I just didn’t have the energy to get dressed. I was exhausted. And I’d learned that sometimes when life gets to busy I need to take a nap.

When you feel like you just can't go on, sometimes you just need to take a nap!

Why You Should Learn to Rest

Being a single, homeschooling mama of two boys is a lot of hard work. Add the fact that my oldest is all over the autism spectrum and that both my boys are in a limit-testing stage and I’m just overwhelmed. Usually I would just go and go until I crashed.  After years of crashing and burning I decided to try something different. I decided to learn to rest and to take a nap when I needed it.  Here’s what I’ve learned:

  1. When we rest we give God room to work in our lives. I am very good at trying to fix everything and everyone around me. Basically I’m good at getting in God’s way.  In January when I was sleeping a lot I had the chance to see God work some wonderful miracles in my life. Things that I know would not have happened if I’d been up running around making a mess of things.
  2. Resting gives other people a chance to help you out. The control freak in me always wants to be in control. I’m sure can’t relate to that right? Being too tired to move. And being without a car forced me to lean on the people in my life that are always trying to help me out.
  3. I took some time to heal. The reason that stress hits me so hard often is because I’m not given my body time to heal. One year I walked around with a serious sinus infection for 3 months because I was just too busy to take care of myself. In the end I was in so much pain that I was screaming every 5 minutes. I ended up having to take double doses of super strong antibiotics and pain pills to get better. When I start to feel sick I’ve learned to rest a little bit more.
  4. Resting also gave me a chance to get my priorities in order. When I stopped being able to do everything, I realized how much I was trying to do that wasn’t really important. Once I was {finally} well rested I was able to focus on what was really important. I spent more time with my boys, relaxed a little on our schoolwork and cut way back on how often we were away from home.

 The next time you feel a little overwhelmed busy mom, try taking a nap. even if it doesn’t sort things out you’ll have gotten some extra sleep.

~LaToya ,  Learning to Let HIM Lead

Heidi St John Guide to Daylight

18 Things I’ve Learned in 18 Years of Homeschooling

I’ve been homeschooling for 18 years.  Where did the time go?

It really is a wonder that my children are doing as well as they are when I consider my abilities or rather, disabilities.  In all seriousness though, God has taught me so much about what really matters in my homeschool.  Here are eighteen things I have learned in 18 years of homeschooling.

1.  Education is more than academics. As a person who was highly prone to making an idol out of education, this is no small statement. Honestly, you can be the most well-educated, even the most intelligent person and yet lack the character to impact the world for good.

2.  Parents are more than qualified to teach their children. In fact, research has shown that motivation is more important than education. Think about it. Who is more motivated to ensure that your child receives the best education possible? A teacher of 30 + kids or a parent?

3.  God fills in the gaps. I have seen this over and over again. Sweet mamas, trust Him. He is working all of these chapters in your life for good. Breathe and trust!

4.  Much can be learned from homeschool parents that have gone before you. Listen, learn and consider other ways of doing things.  Don’t be afraid to try new things.

5.  Don’t copycat. On the other hand, blindly following isn’t good for anyone. Learn from others and adapt curricula and teaching styles to fit your unique family but don’t copy another family like some algebraic formula. There is no one formula for the perfect homeschool.

6.  Just when you think you’ve got this thing…things change. Well, we wouldn’t want to grow complacent or overly self-assured, would we? If something isn’t working, change it. That is what eBay is for, no? Read, learn, pray, grow. If something is clearly not working in your homeschool, it is okay to change things up – even before the end of the semester/year.

7.  Learning issues aren’t disabilities, they are differences. God makes no mistakes. People who learn differently were made that way by God.  “So the Lord said to him, “Who has made man’s mouth?  Or who makes the mute, the deaf, the seeing, or the blind?  Have not I, the Lord?”  Exodus 4:11  Teach to your child’s learning style and keep working on the weaknesses.

8.  Character-training is a subject. Make time for it. You’ll be glad you did.

9.  Play is a subject for young kids. Kindergarten should take about half an hour. Read, love and play, play, play!

10. Interest-led learning is still learning. Text books are not the only way. Be brave – think outside the box!

11. Prepare for the teen years. Deal with your teens in an understanding way. What were you like when you were that age? A bit of compassion goes a long way.  Oh, and the changes of adolescence can begin before the teen years.  Be prepared!

12. There is extraordinary power in prayer. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.”  Philippians 4:6

13. There is extraordinary power in the Word. Too busy for Bible study? Remember your goals – the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.  (1Timothy 1:5) And this, “So then, faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.”  Romans 10:17

14. Observe and point out the impact of world views early and often. Teach your kids discernment.  If you don’t know what a world view is, find out!

15. Teach apologetics earnestly. The Christian faith is under attack. May I dare to say that we are no longer in a post-modern culture but an anti-Christian one? Teach your kids the reason for their faith. “Come now, and let us reason together, says the Lord.”  Isaiah 1:18

16. Don’t compare. There is always someone that appears to have it all together. Yet, all of us have some trial or tribulation. God is weaving together your unique story for a great purpose.

17. It is unlikely that you will ever ‘get it all done’.  What ever that even is!  You may, however, get everything that you can done and that is okay!

18.  Not to discourage you, but your house will never be clean! <grin>

What wisdom have you gained from your homeschooling years?

For more homeschool encouragement, visit Marianne at her blog Abundant Life.

Heidi St John Homeschooling Guide to Daylight

Time to Start Again

start again new year

You ever find yourself at the tail of end of a New Year’s Eve, pondering the exiting year, and wishing you had a DO OVER?

*Yes, my hand is in the air, too.*

2013 may have begun well, but it certainly didn’t feel like it ended well. I find myself floating through this year change listlessly and desperately needing to regroup.

Time to Start Again

While many take time at the beginning of a new year to make resolutions or bucket lists, (and I have done both,) I find the clean calendar page full of possibility, hope, and best of all – a fresh start. Every year I take a little bit of time to evaluate the previous year and take some notes for the new year. Whether you had a great year or you’re glad 2013 is gone, maybe you’ll benefit from a reboot, too.

Leave the past in the past…but learn from it.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” (2 Cor. 5: 17, ESV) 

No matter how I failed in the previous year, the above verse reminds me that in Christ, I have been made new; I am no longer subject to my human faults and failures, but to Christ. In him and through him I am continually becoming a new creation. I must remember that it’s not anything on do on my own in my own strength. To let go of the old me and embrace the new me, I must remain in Christ!

As I look over the past year, I take assessment but I don’t dwell on it. I can’t change past anyway. What I can do is learn from it so that I can do better in the new year. So before anything else, I take last year to the Lord in prayer. I ask Him to show me what I need to change, and I leave it at his feet. I gotta let it go. I can’t take it with me.

new year start

Write out some plans for the New Year.

“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” (Prov. 19:21 ESV)

I could make all sort of plans for the new year but I may or may not be able to see them through if I don’t first ask the Lord if those plans are things that he wants me to do. In fact, yes, I’ve done that, too (making all sorts of plans without running them by Him first!)

Before I convince myself that this is the year that I’m finally going to be the perfect mom (and then fail again), I need to ask God what things HE wants me to work on. Am I doing what I can to fulfill the purposes God has for me? If not, what reasonable, specific, changes do I need to make to serve the Lord how he wants me to serve? Do I need to spend less time on the computer, more time at home, make cleaning more of a priority? What do I need to do? What’s getting in the way? What do I need to change? Lord, open my eyes and let me see what needs to be done. 

 Take one day at a time.

“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Matt. 6:34 ESV)

Yes, the new year is indeed a new, fresh, clean, lovely start. But I can’t live the whole year out all at once! I can only deal with today in today. So often I’m ready to make all those specific changes right now, but I can’t. Likewise, if I try to start working on everything I need to change all at once, I can quickly become overwhelmed and burn out.

Lord, what do you want me to start with first, what should I do today, this week, this month? Change happens one step at a time, one habit at a time, one sacrifice at a time. Prayerfully, I consider what goals I need to set for this week and month, and which things I need to start working on now. Then it’s time to start doing those things.

We can change; we can start again.

“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” (Phil. 4:13 ESV) 

So often this verse is used like a victory charge, focusing on the “I can do all things” portion more than the “through him who strengthens me” part. But look at the verses that come before it — Paul is telling us he has learned the secret for being content and thriving in life regardless of the circumstances. That secret is that we *can* do all these things because of *Christ* – He gives us the strength to do them. In our own strength, we don’t succeed at overcoming the challenges of life very well, but in His strength we can overcome them and be content and thrive, too. 

*So whether you’re looking at 2013 and realizing you need to spend more time with your kids, or more time working, or more time on cleaning…

*Or whether you’re looking at last year and feeling convicted to serve more, give more, or love more…

*Or if you’re evaluating 2013 and finding your quiet time and prayer time lacking because you need to rise earlier or feeling like your attitude is suffering because you go to bed too late…

Whatever it is that God is putting on your heart to change this year, he can and will equip you to make those changes when you look to him for wisdom and strength. The fact that we may have failed in some areas last year is moot because 2013 is gone, and all we can do is start over today for 2014.

Do you need a reboot for the new year? Are you not sure where to start? Start by taking it to God and asking him where HE wants you to start. Be specific. And then just do it: start again.

For more posts about how I evaluate year changes, browse my New Year posts on Classic Housewife.

Image Source: Head in Her Hands by George Hodan