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Hey everybody. This is Heidi St. John. Welcome to the Heidi St. John podcast. Today is Wednesday, August 14th, this is episode number 805 and we’re going to be digging into the MomStrong International study this week. The topic is kindness and how it can change a generation. 

Stick around,  I think you’re going to be encouraged

So I want to say happy birthday to my friend Jane Lambert. Jane is the author of Five In A Row and one of my most favorite people on the entire planet. So Jane, my friend. Happy Birthday. Wish I was there to hug you in person, but I will be there pretty soon because Jane and her hubby Steve live in Kansas City. I’m going to be traveling to Lee’s Summit, Missouri— just outside of Kansas City— for my women’s conference Faith that Speaks and that will be happening at Abundant Life Church on August the 24th. I hope you guys are going to come out and see me. I cannot wait to see what God is doing in your life and to spend the day with you. After that. I’ll be in Fredericksburg, Virginia on September 14th and then in my neck of the woods on October 11th and 12th in Vancouver, Washington— early bird tickets for that event end on September 2nd.

Before I get any farther today into it, I want to just tell you that I’m doing something very special in just a few days. On Monday the 19th of August, I’m going to be holding a live webinar called Homeschooling for Rookies. I get so many questions about homeschooling this time of the year, particularly for people who are just starting out—and so I’m going to be coming online and teaching homeschooling for rookies for you. You can find out more about that in the show notes. Feel free to reach out to me if you guys got questions for the podcast podcast@thebusymom.com. We’d love to hear from you. Also, I would love to hear from you via snail mail. You can reach out to me at Heidi St. John c/o Firmly Planted Family 11100 NE 34th Cir, Vancouver, WA 98682. 

 This is the MomStrong International Bible study week. A couple of things I want to tell you about the study. We’ve been studying the fruits of the Spirit all summer long here at MomStrong International. I really have a passion to encourage you to get into the Word of God and study it, so that you will be able to know it and be able to defend it.  We’re hearing from you, many, many of you who are studying with us and we are so thrilled. Also, it’s a wonderful way for you to support this ministry and to support the St. John Family. The Bible study is just $8 a month and for that $8 you are going to get a fantastic study. Obviously the Scripture Writing Challenge is free, but once you come into the subscription Bible Study, you’re going to get access to cursive Scripture Writing. You’re going to get access to a lot of other benefits that come along with being a part of the ministry here as a financial supporter.

So just $8 a month. Check it out MomStrongInternational.com.  I just want to thank you guys for studying God’s word with us. Speaking of the Word, we are now in the second week of our study. Those studies always start on the first Monday of every month. So this one started a little bit late because we didn’t have a Monday in August until we are a little bit into August, but we’re on the fruit of the Spirit— and week two we are really focusing on kindness. So before we jump into it, would you guys take a minute with me? Let’s come before the Lord in prayer. 

Lord Jesus, it is hard to be kind in the culture right now. Christians seem to be under attack in every area and it’s easy to become defensive, it’s easy to become angry, it’s easy to become bitter… and Lord, it’s actually hard to be kind sometimes. And so Lord, you tell us that kindness is a fruit of the Spirit. And Father, I pray that as I teach on this a little bit today, that You would just speak through me, that You would encourage my spirit. Lord, that you’d helped me to forget about the pipes and my house. It’s being torn up right now. Lord, that you would just encourage me, encourage our family, Lord, to be kind to each other. For every person that’s listening to this that recognizes that they are struggling to be kind. Lord, would you help us? Help us to know that it’s a fruit of the Spirit and to walk in right relationship with You and to experience the joy and the kindness that comes from the power of Your Spirit. We love you, Jesus. Thank you so much for what you’re doing here. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

So we’ve been talking about integrity, right? And integrity, all of us, not just little parts of us. If we’re going to be men and women of integrity, then that means every aspect of our lives need to be honoring to the Lord. So to be people of integrity is to be 100% in love with Jesus and 100% embracing of His ways. So becoming a person of integrity doesn’t have a halfway point. And there isn’t a distinction between who we are in private and in public when we’re people of integrity, but rather who we are to the world is a match with the core of us— the who we are in Jesus. So it is ourselves,  our very beings, embraced by and embracing the work of the Holy Spirit. This is where this topic of kindness comes in, because if you’ve ever walked through the woods in a little bit of a chill and felt an unexpected warmth from a different breeze, this is how our kindness touches the world around us.

The fruit of kindness, when produced in us by the Holy Spirit, has such a tremendous impact—in a world of harsh, jagged edges, kindness is smooth. It seems such a simple way to bless people with the love of Jesus…until we are rushed or worrying over the hospital bill denied by insurance ( I know how that feels) or feeling like that poke in the eye from our spouse was just too much.  Kindness refers to a gracious disposition toward others and it weaves through our integrity like the beautiful gold threads in a tapestry that subtly grab light. Integrity shows itself in kindness. When you are the same person at home behind the door as you are in public, then you are well on your way to being a person of integrity. 

Want to encourage you here at MomStrong International, part of what we’re doing is teaching you to be people of integrity. Because remember we’re saying all the time— you can’t pass on what you don’t possess. So regardless of where you are in your walk with the Lord, when you begin to know Him more, it’s going to show itself in the way that you behave. It’s going to show itself in a consistency of your behavior. It’s going to show itself in a consistency of your actions—because people will see that they’re motivated by your love for God rather than personal gain. And last month at MomStrong International, we studied gentleness. Remember, when we talked about the difference between gentleness, it’s often translated meekness, and I said—hey, this is not weakness. It gets misunderstood and miss translated it, but it’s not weakness. Gentleness, true meekness, is available strength that is under God’s control. It’s the ability to respond with kindness under provocation, even when you just want to blow your top. And this could be just people on Facebook. 

Something I have noticed lately, and I’m going to deviate just a little bit from the study for a minute, because I’m noticing other people, brothers and sisters in Christ, who because they have a political difference with another person—have decided to disassociate themselves from others— “we just cannot do it”. You know what I think that is? and I’m not talking about conservatives versus progressives or Democrats versus Republicans. I’m talking about Christians, okay. Christians who disassociate themselves from other Christians because of a political belief and are willing to say— I can’t hang with you anymore because I don’t agree with your political point of view. That is actually arrogance. It’s not kindness. And when were known for arrogance rather than kindness, we are not going to be able to get along with each other. We just aren’t. And that arrogance comes in and it says— I’m right, you’re wrong. And because I’m right and you disagree with me, I’m not going to talk to you anymore. I’m not going to work with you anymore. I’m not going to go to church with you. I’m going to keep my kids away from their grandparents, because their grandparents believe one way and we believe another. 

That is not how God would want us to behave. The Bible says we should be able to reason together, particularly as God’s people. There should be points that we can agree on—and where we don’t agree, we should be able to be kind. So how do we train ourselves and our kids to intrinsically practice kindness? Well, it’s not very easy in the culture right now because we war against our sin nature. The root of kindness is preferring another over yourself. It is servanthood.  

So oftentimes when we are being unkind, when we’re not being led by the Spirit, and I have been in this position many times in my life — my human inclination, my flesh says: you know what? Forget it. And just walk away. I’m going to say what I need to say. Drop the bomb on the floor, turn around, walk away. And the other person who I just dropped the bomb on is standing there and I’ve left them in a position of not being able to do anything because I just either ended the relationship or I ended the conversation. I didn’t say— Hey, I really care about you. Can we talk about this? And that is me not being kind. It’s a critical spirit. It has nothing to do with kindness. So when we stop preferring one another, when we stop preferring other people over ourselves, we have fallen into this and it is everywhere in the culture right now.

The sins of a critical spirit or selfishness will choke the Spirit’s growth of kindness in our hearts. Did you know that? I know it. It’s true because I see it all the time on Facebook and I’m telling you what— I have to come before the Lord a lot, especially when I get messages from people that are so hurtful and so hard on me. My first response in my spirit is that I want to defend myself. I want to be unkind right back to that person, but that is not the Spirit of God. 

Some will say that God is an angry God and not kind. God is wrathful against sin, yet in His tremendous kindness provided a way of salvation. Both wrath for sin and love for repentant sinners characterize Him and bring glory to Him. Sometimes it is hard to reconcile the God who swallowed up a tribe of people as a consequence for prideful rebellion (Numbers 16) with the God who sent Elijah to the widow at Zarephath during a drought to feed her and later raised her son from the dead.  

This is, in fact, the majesty and holiness of Almighty God: sin shall not stand, but rather will be punished, and in His inestimable kindness, He sends Himself to offer a perfect sacrifice so there is an escape from that punishment and a path to relationship with Him. Romans 2:4 says, “…do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?” It is kindness. The Bible says that leads us to repentance. 

Are we being kind? We’re trying to win people over with our kindness because if we’re not, the Bible says we’re going to have a real hard time doing it. Salvation for every human who believes, in all time until the return of Christ, is no small feat. We easily forget that salvation was not earned or deserved, and He was so kind to make a way for us. He did it for His glory and He did it for love. So when we’re caught up in the maelstrom of everyday, and we forget to actually practice kindness, we are doing a disservice to our witness. This is part of the reason why we’re going to move from this particular topic, the fruit of the Spirit, into Ambassador for the month of September. Just to remind us that we are ambassadors for Jesus. We’re ambassadors for God. Let’s check out this passage for just a minute.

Proverbs 19:22 What is desirable in a man is his kindness, and it is better to be a poor man than a liar.

You see, God is teaching us over and over again that kindness is kind of a big deal, and in our passage on the fruit of the Spirit, the Greek word used for kindness is chrēstotēs. It means “benignity, tender concern, uprightness.”  It is kindness of heart and kindness of act. God does not ask of us things He is not doing Himself, and He displays this kindness He desires to grow in us. Let’s look at Paul’s letter to Titus where we see a beautiful summary of the breadth of the kindness of God in His salvation. Let’s look for a second to Romans 12:10 and Romans 12:16-21 because in here we’re learning what we are called to do no matter what our age. And this is going to help us to learn to exhibit kindness. 

In verse 10: Love one another deeply as brothers and sisters. Outdo one another in showing honor. 

So when you hear these verses, think about the verbs in those verses. The first one in verse 10 is Love. Love one another. And then the next verse is outdo one another. In other words, we should be out trying to outdo each other in our love and our kindness toward each other. What would happen if we laid down our pride and we just decided— I’m going to be kind, I’m going to listen to you with the goal of understanding.

All right, verse 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud; instead, associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own estimation. Verse 17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Give careful thought to do what is honorable in everyone’s eyes. Verse 18 If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Verse 19 Friends, do not avenge yourselves; instead, leave room for God’s wrath, because it is written, “Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay,” says the Lord. Verse 20 But if your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink. For in so doing you will be heaping fiery coals on his head. And finally, verse 21 Do not be conquered by evil, but conquer evil with good. 

You guys see every time we choose kindness, we conquer evil every single time because God sees every action, ours and others, and He will convict, judge, or correct, or move. We don’t need to help Him. He will do it. So if we want our children to learn that they do not need to own the emotions and fixing all the things that have been done against them, we do it by example. So we want to teach our kids to pray about it and we want to work together to leave our struggles and our frustrations with other people in His capable hands. And this is so much better. This is so much better. 

As we look at kindness for the rest of this particular study for this week, we’re going to look in the Psalms 23, Psalm 17, and we’re going to be talking about how God shows kindness to us. God LOVES us. He IS kind, gentle, and protective. Because He loves us and is protective of us— He does something very unique:He disciplines us to keep us safe. This is what we do for our children and the way that we love our children is very similar to how God loves us. So I want to encourage you this week, have an arms wide open policy for loving others and practice being a place of refuge for a weary friend. Practice having kindness before you send that email that you’re going to regret. Take a step back. What would the Lord want you to do? How can you demonstrate kindness towards somebody else, right? God wants to help us to do that. He has designed to be listening to the Lord. We’re don’t have anything to lose. I’m always telling this to my kids: you’ve got nothing to lose by being kind. And one of the things that I’ve noticed in my own life, and I think I’ve said this on the podcast… so at the risk of repeating myself, I’ll say it again— of the things I regret in my life, they are almost always things that I have said that I can’t take back, words that came out of my mouth in the heat of the moment or when I was frustrated and angry. And I can’t take the, back. And it was a demonstration not only of my immaturity, but of my lack of kindness. 

I want you guys to think really carefully this week about how God wants us to behave. If we are His ambassadors, which we are, God wants us to be kind to others. God wants us to be kind. And so I hope that this week as we study kindness, and as you talk to your kids about it—we are going to be moved as adults, and moved as parents, and moved as teenagers, to be kind to the people around us. That kindness does not mean that we sacrifice our ability to speak the truth, but as followers of Jesus, we should be able to speak the truth in love. I think that the heart of God is breaking over the broken relationships between Christians that are littering the landscape right now.

And they are because of our pride, they are broken because of our unwillingness to work with each other. And because of that we are having a detrimental effect on the message of the Gospel. The enemy knows that if he can mess up the relationships of God’s people inside the church, he’ll have a whole lot easier time to get into the flock. If this is you, if you’re saying—man, I’m really struggling with kindness. I’m struggling to be kind to my kids. I’m struggling to be kind to my friends. I’m struggling to be kind on Facebook. Then take a step back and say— Lord, what do you want from me? How can I be kind? 

Sometimes that kindness is telling the truth. Sometimes kindness is saying—I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but here’s what’s going on. It’s a mercy to you to tell you the truth and then trust that God’s at work in it. But we want to be so careful when we speak to our brothers and sisters in Christ. We want to be so careful, so gentle ,so that when we leave that conversation, the words that we have said that echo in their head will be they are loved first by God and then by us, right? That is who God says we are. 

I’ve enjoyed having you guys on the podcast today. I want to just encourage you, if you haven’t signed up for my women’s conferences coming out and do that. We are going to be in Vancouver, Washington really soon. We are going to be in Fredericksburg, Virginia, and in Lee’s summit, Missouri in just about two weeks and I cannot wait to spend a little bit of time with you digging deeper into the word of God. In the meantime, stay faithful everybody, and I’ll see you back here on Friday.

Write to Heidi:
Heidi St. John
c/o Firmly Planted Family
11100 NE 34th Cir, Vancouver, WA 98682

Support this ministry by donating through E-giving. You can also send donations to: 1100 NE34th Cir, Vancouver, WA 98682

Submit your questions to MailBox Monday: podcast@thebusymom.com

Don’t Miss These!

TRANSCRIPTION:

Hey everybody. This is Heidi St. John. Welcome to the Heidi St. John podcast. I am so glad that you’ve joined me. Today is Wednesday, August the 7th. This is episode number 802. We’re going to be talking a little bit about the issue of integrity and why it is so important that we have it as God’s people.

Stick around, I think you’re going to be encouraged.

So can you guys believe it is already the 7th of August? I can’t believe it. There’s so much going on right now and the culture is so much happening in the news. Summer’s almost over. We’re getting ready to go back to school. Moment of silence. 

Maybe not. I won’t start until after Labor Day around here, but I just want to encourage you as we look to a study for the month of August at MomStrong International. We’re going to be talking about integrity and why, as God’s people, we really need to have it if we’re going to be effective stewards of the gospel. 

A couple of things coming up: I wanted to let you guys know I will be in Kansas City at Abundant Life Church for my women’s event Faith that Speaks, this year’s theme is Miracle Worker: The Life Changing Power of Following Jesus. And if you haven’t checked it out yet, if you’re unfamiliar with my women’s conference, can I just encourage you? Ff you’re anywhere near Kansas City, Missouri, come on out. It is a day that will literally change your life. Bring your Bible, bring your friends, come planning to be encouraged. I also want to let you know that we are almost ready to start announcing the winners of the giveaway that we are doing to celebrate our 800th episode of the podcast. So if you guys listened on Monday, you heard my husband and I talking a little bit about how the show started and sort of where it’s going—it’s kind of our way of saying thank you. And so if you haven’t entered the giveaway, I want to just encourage you to do that. There’s three ways you can do it. We’re giving away three gift bundles and you can enter to win each one of them. You can enter on Instagram @HeidiStJohn, and all you really need to do is tag me and then talk about the podcast. You’ve got until Friday, just two more days. So get tagging and I’m going to announce that winner in particular on Instagram. 

The next way to enter is by going to iTunes. Go ahead and search for the Heidi St. John podcast and leave a review. If you’ve already done that, just take a screenshot and then share it on Instagram. And finally, MomStrong International: If you’re not a member over there, I want to just encourage you to come on over because not only have we reached a milestone with the podcast, we’ve topped 13,000 members at MomStrong International. So to enter for the third giveaway, just follow these steps: Go to MomStrongInternational.com and either create your free account or log in, click on the chat room, then type your reply to the question marked 800 giveaway. It’s that simple. So remember submissions are open through Friday, August 9th and then we will start announcing the winners. If you want to find out what’s in those bundles, go to Heidi St. john.com/podcast and then click on the show notes and you guys can see what we’re giving away. I think we’re going to be really stoked, so we’re happy about that. 

All right. Right now we are starting our first week of study for MomStrong International. I want to let you guys know how this works in case you’re not familiar. The way that these work is that we study a new topic and we start on the first Monday of every month. So this year, the 1st of August fell on a Thursday. So our study began on August 5th, and so every Wednesday I try to go over a little bit of what we’re talking about.

And listen you guys, you’ve heard me have guests on the show over and over and over again that keep pointing you back to walking with the Lord — so I want to just encourage you, if you haven’t become a member at MomStrong International it’s very easy to do and then you can download this study and you’re going to find that this is not milk-toast study. We are going to really encourage you and teach you how to study God’s Word for yourself. And so check it out at MomStrong International.com, it’s a great time for you to plan a fall study group. You guys could start now or you could start in September. You can apply to be a leader with MomStrong International. And really what our heart is, is to see you become equipped so that you can know the Word of God and defend it. Ken Ham said last Friday with me that one of the largest issues that we’re facing in the church today is a biblically illiterate church. A church who doesn’t know God’s Word and can’t defend it. We don’t know apologetics. And so that’s part of what we’re doing at MomStrong International. So check it out. Invite a friend. 

This month at MomStrong International we’re studying the issue of integrity. And oh my goodness, if ever there was a time for us to have integrity in the church— now is the time. So before we get going into that, would you guys take a moment? Let’s come before the Lord in prayer. 

Father, I thank You for Your Word. I thank You Lord, that You’ve said that Your Word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path. And Lord, we are living in a dark world and the path seems really dark right now and we need Your light. And so Lord, as we talk a little bit about integrity, what it means, and why You want us to be men and women of integrity— I pray, Lord, that You’d speak through me. I pray, Lord, that I would be an instrument that would be used by You to encourage people to walk in right relationship with You. Lord, I pray that you would encourage me. I know Lord, that sometimes I can get discouraged and sometimes it’s tempting for me not to be in Your Word myself, Lord, and to think I can do it on my own. And so Lord, I pray that You would help me even right now, as I teach this study. Lord, I pray that You would be speaking to me too. We don’t need to hear from the world anymore. Father, we want to hear from you. We love you Lord Jesus. I pray that our lives would be examples of what it means to follow Jesus. And it’s in Your name I pray. Amen. 

All right you guys. So what comes to your mind when you hear the word integrity? I can think of things immediately that don’t come to my mind. I think it says a lot about my personality. I think immediately. I just think integrity. We could sure  use a bunch of that in the church right now, right? The church has been rocked with scandal lately, not the least of which has been Josh Harris, a heartbreaking situation. I have a lot of thoughts on that of which I’m not going to go into right now. But I think one of the things that we’re learning, and you’d think we’d have learned this before, but clearly we haven’t— is that we shouldn’t put our trust in people.

We should put our trust in the Lord. The Bible says that God does not change. There is no shifting shadow, the Lord does not change. The Bible says that the grass will wither and the flower will fade, but God’s Word will stand forever. And as men and women, we need to believe that what God said in His Word is absolutely true. And we need to be men and women of integrity. So rather than putting our trust in men, we put our trust in God— then we live out what we know to be true in His Word. Does that mean life’s gonna be easy? No. In fact, I would go out on a limb and say that I think life’s going to be pretty hard. But you know what? God gives us the strength to be men and women of integrity through the ups and downs.

We need it. Integrity in machinery is strength, reliability, and consistency. So we count on the integrity of a ship when we leave and go out into deep water, right? We count on the integrity of our car engines when we buckle our children in and drive across town. And so this month we’re going to continue our study in the fruit of the Spirit and we’re going to talk about how the Spirit is manifested in our attitudes. Love, kindness, and goodness— these impact the development of integrity in our lives. 

Warren Wiersbe teaches: “Integrity means that your life is whole, that your heart is not divided. Jesus said, ‘No one can serve two masters’ (Matthew 6:24). That’s integrity. Duplicity means trying to serve two masters. Our Lord also said that nobody can look in two directions at the same time. If your eye is single, then your body is full of light. But if your eye is double, watch out. The darkness is coming in (Matthew 6:22-23). If you look at the darkness and the light simultaneously, the darkness crowds out the light.” 

So how do we become people of integrity? How do we train our kids to become men and women of integrity? Often I hear from women who are discouraged and even frustrated trying to teach their children to be men and women of character in the culture right now, but as I’m always telling you guys—we can’t give our kids what we don’t have. If we want our children to be people of integrity, it starts with us. We can raise our kids to have honor and high morals. We can raise them to be reliable workers and kind friends. But Oswald Chambers identified something very important when he said: “Jesus Christ is not teaching ordinary integrity, but supernormal integrity, a likeness to our Father in heaven.

Kent Hughes shared some weighty information when he said  “…for the Christian, the most chilling fact is this: there is little statistical difference between the ethical practices of the religious and the nonreligious. Doug Sherman and William Hendricks, in their book Keeping Your Ethical Edge Sharp, note Gallup’s statistics that 43 percent of non-church attenders admit to pilfering work supplies, compared to 37 percent of attenders. Seventeen percent of the unchurched use the company phone for long-distance personal calls, but 13 percent of those who attend worship do likewise. But is this true of real Christians? we may ask. Sherman and Hendricks answer yes. The general ethical conduct of Christians varies only slightly from non-Christians, with grand exceptions, of course. Sadly, Christians are almost as likely as non-Christians to: falsify their income tax returns, to commit plagiarism, to bribe, to obtain a building permit saying “that’s the way the business is done”, to ignore construction specs, or illegally copy a computer program.  We steal time, commit phone theft, exaggerate about a product, and tell people what they want to hear.”

How do we reconcile these statistics with Jesus’ calling to be a city on a hill whose lampstand does not go out? Jesus declared, “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 5:14-16). No one lights a lamp and then covers it—why would we receive the goodness of Christ and then cover it by allowing a lack of integrity to permeate our lives?

So this month you guys, we’re going to study integrity for the whole month. This is a great month for you guys to bring your teens into the study with you, and  let’s allow the Holy Spirit to teach us about His fruit of kindness, love, and goodness, so that our integrity will shine through our lives and we will glorify Jesus! That’s really what it’s all about. We want to bring glory to God in everything that we do. You’ll notice as you download this study, we’re going to give you lots of opportunity to give feedback to write in the study this time, and we’re going to be just doing a little bit of self-examination. I wonder what would happen if we were more concerned with what we were doing in the privacy of our own homes, than we were about what other people were doing in the privacy of their own homes. I think our lives might look a little bit different, and in the Psalms we read two different versions that help us gain a good understanding of what it means to live a life of integrity.

So if we live a life of integrity, that means that we demonstrate integrity in the everyday. So listen to this from Psalm 15 “O LORD, who may abide in Your tent? Who may dwell on Your holy hill? 2 He who walks with integrity, and works righteousness, and speaks truth in his heart. 3 He does not slander with his tongue, nor does evil to his neighbor, nor takes up a reproach against his friend; 4 in whose eyes a reprobate is despised, but who honors those who fear the LORD; he swears to his own hurt and does not change; 5 he does not put out his money at interest, nor does he take a bribe against the innocent. He who does these things will never be shaken.” Psalm 15 NASB

 So first you see it in the NASB and now you’re going to hear it in the NLT.

“Who may worship in your sanctuary, LORD? Who may enter your presence on your holy hill? 2 Those who lead blameless lives and do what is right, speaking the truth from sincere hearts. 3 Those who refuse to gossip or harm their neighbors or speak evil of their friends. 4 Those who despise flagrant sinners, and honor the faithful followers of the LORD, and keep their promises even when it hurts. 5 Those who lend money without charging interest, and who cannot be bribed to lie about the innocent. Such people will stand firm forever.” Psalm 15 NLT

So when we abide in Christ, then the Bible tells us exactly what it’s supposed to look like. So I’m going to have you looking in Acts 8 with me this week. We’re going to be talking about what it means to have integrity at work at integrity and integrity in our ministry. And we’re going to be talking about what it means to have integrity with our friends and even with our children. Because guess what—your kids can tell when you’re not people have integrity. And as we parent, we need to do so with integrity in mind. But how do we train that into our kids? Pastor Adrian Rogers wrote  “A child delights in what he has. A youth delights in what he does. An adult delights in what he is. The more mature you are, the more you will desire to be something—not just to have something or to do something, but to be something. What do you desire to be today? Someone who is known for the way they dress? The deals they close? The house they live in? Or do you want others to know that you have a pure heart—a heart that is utterly devoted and surrendered to God. Matthew 5:8 says, ‘Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God.’”

So you guys, parents, we’ve got to learn to proactively train our children to move through the stages until they are grown and responding as adults who are pure in heart. So I’m going to ask you a question—Are your kids age-appropriately in one of these phases? If someone is lagging behind, pray for wisdom in how to help them move forward in maturing. We want to encourage our children. I’m going to send you back to Psalm 26 so that you can write down the four actions, or verbs, that David asks of the Lord. David’s going to show us how to become men and women of integrity and how to teach our children to do the same because it’s not enough for us to know it— we want to be able to pass it onto our children. You guys, integrity means a visible consistency in our hearts and our lives. 

The consistency that we’re talking about is exactly what Ken Ham and I were talking about last Friday— it’s grounded in the Word of God. When we know the Word of God, then we will also know what it means to live a life of integrity. Integrity is something that’s universally valued, but if our hearts aren’t rooted in God’s Word, if it’s not grounded in the gospel— then we’ve got nothing to anchor that integrity to. This is because true integrity comes from the heart of God. It comes from the one who made us. And since we’ve been made in His image, we reflect His integrity in our lives when we walk with Him. When we walk with Him, we glorify God and we lift up His reputation and His faithfulness. 

I opened up the podcast today by saying how thankful I was that the Word of God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. And as we talk a little bit about integrity this month, I’ve just been really burdened to pray for integrity among the leaders that I know. I’ve been thinking a lot about Josh Harris, what’s been going on on the news, and my heart is just breaking because the Harris family is from my neck of the woods. We love these guys and we know that they’re hurting right now. And I got to thinking— what is happening in the church that has made us so vulnerable? Two are falling away. What has made us gain a reputation of not being the men and women that we claim to be? And honestly you guys, when when things are hard, when the mortgage payments are coming in, when your kids are driving you crazy, when you’re dealing with things that you thought you would never have to deal with— it will show what was actually in your heart. When we decide to follow Jesus, it’s not enough to just say— we’re going to follow Jesus. We have to grow in the Lord, and that’s one of the reasons why I’m encouraging you so much to follow along with me at MomStrong International. 

We are putting an awful lot of time and resources into writing these studies for you, not for fun. We’re doing it to help you grow. We’re doing it so that we can be men and women of integrity and we can help our children become men and women of integrity. We cannot be men and women of integrity and we can not be young people who exhibit God’s heart— unless we truly know His Word. We want the Lord to help us in our character so that we can be true and honorable, so that our deeds can be right before the Lord, so that our hearts can be pure. We want to be lovely and gracious. So much of what’s happening around us right now, particularly when it comes to women, does not demonstrate a loving, gracious Spirit that comes from the Lord.

And we talk a little bit about this in the Bible study of this month and how our influence affects everyone around us. And our actions are speaking so much louder than our words, that the weightiness of our actions is breathtaking. And we talk a lot about Philippians 4:8 and what we are supposed to be thinking on, and what our hearts are supposed to be reflecting on. But I want to ask you today just to think for just a moment with me. Does your life reflect the gospel that we proclaim? Are we pointing people to Christ simply by who we are? Is our life marked by integrity? Are our friends around us see our actions that line up with the heart of Jesus that we’ve talked about, or are they seen as walk out a walk that doesn’t match the talk?

I want to encourage you to examine your own heart bravely. Invite the Lord. David said— Lord, search me, try me, see if there’s anything in my heart that doesn’t please you. I know when the Lord’s talking to me. I know there are issues, things I deal with, because I’m just like you guys, things I deal with in my life that I can just hear the Holy Spirit saying— Heidi, no, no, no, no, no. Come back. Your straying a little bit too far over there. Come back to me. Sometimes I choose to not listen. Sometimes I willfully ignore the Lord and we want to be very careful not to do that. We want to be like David and say— Lord, help us to examine our hearts. The Lord wants to change us from the inside out and when He does that, when the Lord of Heaven’s armies comes in, you guys—your life will never be the same and you will have the integrity of spirit and of strength and of action that God wants you to have.

I hope you guys had been encouraged by the podcast today. If you’re enjoying the podcast, please do us a favor— and actually you’re leaving reviews right now is going to get you entered for a drawing that we’re going to have on Friday. But I want to encourage you leave reviews for the podcast over at iTunes. We would love to hear from you. You can reach us podcast@thebusymom.com, or can write to us. We love you guys. I want to just encourage you, keep walking with the Lord, stay in His Word so that you can know it and rightly defend it. We love you guys. Thank you so much for listening. Stay faithful, and I’ll see you back here on Friday. 

Write to Heidi:
Heidi St. John
c/o Firmly Planted Family
11100 NE 34th Cir, Vancouver, WA 98682

Support this ministry by donating through E-giving. You can also send donations to: 1100 NE34th Cir, Vancouver, WA 98682

Submit your questions to MailBox Monday: podcast@thebusymom.com

Don’t Miss These!

TRANSCRIPTION:

Hey everybody, this is Heidi St. John. Welcome to the Heidi St. John podcast. Today is Wednesday, July 24th. This is MomStrong International Day here at the podcast. This is the day where I go over just a snippet from the Bible study that we’re doing every month. And today we’re going to be talking a little bit about what it means to be meek— and I’m going to tell you right now: it doesn’t mean weakness. 

Stick around. I think you’re going to be encouraged.

All right, so I’m getting excited, you guys. A couple of things. First of all, I’m in the middle of a little bit of a break right now from traveling. Phew! I do not mind telling you I am enjoying being at home. We are looking forward, however, to getting back on the road because we’ll see you guys in August. So coming up real soon! On the 24th of August, we will be in Kansas City for the Heidi St. John Conference. This year, the theme has been— Miracle Worker: The Life Changing Power of Following Jesus. And I’m going to be transitioning it to what I hope to be speaking out for years to come: Faith that Speaks. So we’re going to be talking about what it means to get off the bench and onto the battlefield— that we can actually speak healing, we can actually speak freedom, we can actually speak truth in love because of our knowledge of the Word of God. So that’s what we’re going to be doing for my women’s conference and I hope you guys will come out. We’ve got a lot of really fun things planned for you. The next one after that will take place in Virginia, in Fredericksburg on the 14th of September. So excited about that! And then the 12th and 19th of October I’ll be first in Vancouver, Washington and my neck of the woods and then in Lincoln, Nebraska. So I check it out at HeidiStJohn.com/events. 

Alright, so we are in the last week of our study. There are a few more weeks that fall into the month of July. We do four weeks of study at MomStrong International. And for those of you who are not familiar with how the studies work— every single month we are writing and producing a brand new study for you. There’s a team of people that write these studies. I’m not the only one who does it because I’m obviously doing a lot of other things. And so we’ve got a team of wonderful women who are knowledgeable in the Word of God, and my son in law helps with them. He is a pastor here in Kansas, Washington. And the whole idea behind putting these studies out is to do what we see lacking in the culture as far as biblical education is concerned. And that is to do everything we can to help you become biblically literate. In other words, to know God’s Word. God is not silent on the issues that this generation is facing. And in fact, He addresses so many of the things that we’re struggling with now in His Word. When we get to know His Word, we become strong and able to defend it.

And so that’s really what we want you to be able to do. You can do these studies in groups, you can do them by yourself. You can start a MomStrong International chapter in your church or in your neighborhood. We just really want to encourage you to do that. It’s also a really great way to support the ministry that is the podcast. We have a team of people that bring you the podcast just like a team writes the study. 

A couple of the things I wanted to let you know too as it relates to my speaking season. My speaking season for the homeschool conference has really has come to an end this year. I want to say thanks to everybody that’s come out and say hello to us. We have loved meeting you, and hugging your necks, and sometimes crying with you— and just hearing what God is doing in your life. If you are interested in having me come out and speak for your event, there is a speakers tab to do that. So if you go to HeidiStJohn.com just look at the top for the speakers tab. That is the very best way to find out if I’m available and what it would take to bring me to your area for an event. Also, we are looking for locations for my women’s conference, Faith that Speaks, that is going to be starting up this fall. And we will be bringing that conference hopefully all over the country and you can host it there. It’s very simple to do. We bring a team in and we do most of the work for you. We just need a facility that’s willing to let us come and spend a Friday evening and a Saturday. So we typically start Friday evenings and we’ll maybe start at seven and go from 7:00pm to 9:30pm, and then we’ll start up again at nine and go from typically from 9:00am-3:00pm. So, to reach out to us ycan click the speakers tab and just say that you’re interested in bringing my women’s conference to your area. I’m telling you what— it’s a weekend that will change your life. And so, I plan on seeing what you can do to host my women’s event. We would love to come out and just encourage your women in the Word of God. 

People ask me all the time— can I bring my daughter? And I tell people— if your daughter is 14 years of age or older, she will get a lot out of it. So this is not just for homeschool moms, it’s not just for mothers— it’s for any woman who wants to get to know God’s Word better. 

All right, let’s look at our study this week and MomStrong International. Before we get started, let’s come before the Father in prayer. 

Lord Jesus, I thank you for the opportunity that you give us every single week here at the podcast to speak Your truth in love. Lord, I pray that as we become women who are more equipped to speak of the gospel, and more equipped to share the good news that you have in Jesus, that you would help us to get off the bench and onto the battlefield, off of the sidelines, and onto the front lines—for the sake of the Gospel and to carry Your Name. Lord, I pray that for every man, woman, and child that’s listening to this today, for everyone within the sound of the reach of my voice, Lord, that you would encourage us by the power of Your Spirit to walk in right relationship with You, to be in Your Word, and to encourage those around us to do the same. Lord, as we talk about what it means to be gentle and meek today, Lord, I pray that you’d fill me with Your Spirit. Father, I pray that if there’s anything that comes to my mind that’s not from You, You prevent me from saying it. Lord, we need to hear from Your Word. We need to hear from You. We love you and we invite you into this show and into our lives. In Jesus name, amen. 

All right. Couple of things as I am looking at this— I talked to a woman not too long ago at an event that I was speaking at and she was saying how it must just be amazing to be Heidi St. John. She said— you just must have the most amazing walk with the Lord. First of all, I want to clear some misconceptions up. I’m just a person just like the rest of you. I’ve got 6,000 pounds of cold, wrinkled laundry waiting for me on my bed right now. I’ve got dishes that need to be done. I have no idea what I’m going to make for dinner tonight. I’ve got a bunch of kids that need my attention, and a husband that I’m trying to love. And I have learned, and am learning —and this is the passion that brings this to you every week—I struggle every week in my own personal life to make time to be in the Word of God. It is a spiritual discipline. It’s no different than the discipline of watching what I eat, or trying to make time for exercise— which I also am having a really hard time doing, but that’s another podcast. 

I just want to encourage you, I’m not a spiritual superhero. I am a woman who is working every day to walk in right relationship with the Lord. I would really appreciate your prayers for me and for our team here that writes these studies—God has called us to this amazing work. And so I want to encourage you to hopefully… I love what Paul said: Follow me as I follow Christ. Paul realizes that he was a chief among sinners, right? And I realized the same thing about my own life. It is the Holy Spirit that keeps us walking in right relationship with the Lord. It’s not homeschooling. Homeschooling doesn’t do it. It’s not you really putting all of your extra effort into your husband, or making sure that you go to church— those are good things, but your private time with the Lord is the most important thing you’ll do all day. And you can do that with your kids. That’s why we include a component called Kids Strong in the MomStrong International Bible Study.

It’s not just for moms, it’s for any woman. My heart beats for mothers in particular, and women in general. I believe that God wants to do an incredible work in this generation. And when faith finds its feet in our hearts, when we really begin to see who we are in Christ, and we start looking or reading through the book of Ephesians, reading through the book of Galatians, and hearing God’s incredible love for us and the way he sees us— it changes us. It changes us. And this month MomStrong International we’ve been working to see and study the fullness of Biblical womanhood. And so before I go much farther, I’m going to read a little bit out of Proverbs 31 and we’re going to soak in a little bit of beauty and wisdom from King Lemuel.

He’s talking about what it would mean to find a good wife, right? And every single one of us is unique, right? We all have strengths and weaknesses, which we’ll talk about in the passage in just a minute. We want to be wives that model God’s heart. And this isn’t just..I mean, yes, he’s talking about — an excellent wife, who can find her? — but really this is for every woman who wants to follow the Lord. So young person,  teenager who’s listening to this right now— this is how God created you. We are all women created in God’s image and He’s created us to be companions and helpers. And I want you to look around and see who God has placed in your life because He has placed you where you are right now on purpose. And he wants you to fulfill your calling, whether you are currently married or whether you’re not.

I’m going to read for just a minute Proverbs 31, but I want to take you back really quickly to this idea of gentleness because we’ve been talking about biblical womanhood as it relates to the fruit of the Spirit all month here at MomStrong International. And gentleness is one of the ones that has really been a heat into the trash bin of the culture, right? We don’t value gentleness and the culture. We don’t value meekness, and yet this is something that God wants His children to exhibit. We need to be able to exhibit these character qualities. It’s very important. 

Listen, gentleness is not synonymous with weakness or inaction, okay? I’m going to say that again. Gentleness does not mean weakness and it does not mean inaction. And in fact, Peter calls us to have a quiet and gentle Spirit in 1 Peter 3:4, and some of your reading this are going— right? It takes a lot of work to find that gentle spirit. There was a mom that I knew a long time ago and she was always telling me that it was her goal in life to have a gentle spirit. To her, the gentle spirit meant— I don’t a interject my thoughts, I’m just going to mind my own business at home. I’m only gonna be here for my husband and my children. Boy, I just don’t think that was what God meant, right? He said to have a meek and quiet spirit. It’s right there in black and white text. But what have we been learning about Biblical literacy? Every Word in the Bible at God’s decision—it’s there for a reason.

And so if we don’t get it, we need to keep asking for wisdom and keep pressing in. Keep digging, always seek to understand the heart of God. If you read something that you don’t understand in the Bible, go back and read it again and say— Lord, help me understand. The Holy Spirit will help you.  We think of Deborah, the prophetess. She was a judge of Israel for a season, and other strong women in the Bible. And the Bible requires that one of these fruits of the spirit that we see is gentleness. And the fruit of gentleness isn’t born of personality, it’s grown by the Holy Spirit and displayed by Jesus. So how does embracing gentleness breathe life into your home? Before we read Proverbs 31, I want you to think about this. Because when you address something with your kids in an unglued sort of fashion, or you freak out— what’s the response that you get?

Yeah, a defensive posture. You get excuses, you get shut down. And if we let that become a habit, we’re going to start frustrating our kids and our husbands and our friends. And we build walls between us. But if we approach the situation calmly, right? Preferably before 9:00pm— then we’ve left ourselves a greater chance of assessing the situation as God would have us assess it and of accessing the hearts of the people that we’re trying to reach, because we’re not sinning all over them along the way. And I think sometimes, and certainly with a personality like mine, I can tell you this is something that I struggle with on a regular basis— so meekness is the word that we see tied to gentleness in the Scriptures, and it is also commonly misunderstood. So even as you read it, meekness is going to bring to mind pictures of that tiny mouse, remember in the cartoons that was shivering in the corner. And in the ‘90s, and still today, it was big for women in assertiveness classes to decide that in order not to be a doormat and stand up for yourself— you gotta be true to yourself and not be gentle and not be meek —except that’s not the Lord, that’s not as hard. 

Jesus called us to be true to Him, to love our enemies. And this includes being gentle and meek. So what does that look like? Meekness isn’t weakness. Meekness is restrained strength. You should write that down. In fact, I’m gonna give you a minute. Go get yourself a pencil. Meekness is restrained strength. It’s a quiet strength. In the Bible, it’s used interchangeably in several verses with gentleness. Check this out. Psalm 18:35 — You have also given me the shield of Your salvation, and Your right hand upholds me; And Your gentleness makes me great. His gentleness makes us great. Wow! Psalm 45:4 — And in Your majesty ride on victoriously, for the cause of truth and meekness and righteousness; let Your right hand teach You awesome things.

How can meekness, truth, and righteousness all be lauded in Psalm 45:4 if one of them isn’t admirable? Look at the difference between weakness and meekness really quickly. A weak person will give a soft answer out of fear, intimidation, and shyness, and even cowardice. His soft answer is due to personal weakness and sometimes spinelessness. That’s not meekness. The opposite of that is meek. A meek person is going to give a soft answer out of strength because we possess the boldness and strength to retort sharply, but because of a strength of character, we choose not to. So we choose to answer softly.

And that softness is strength under control. That is a beautiful characteristic in godly women. Larry Pierce, who was the creator of the Online Bible, said this:“Meekness toward God is that disposition of spirit in which we accept His dealings with us as good and therefore without disputing or resisting. In the OT, the meek are those wholly relying on God rather than their own strength to defend against injustice…Gentleness or meekness is the opposite to self-assertiveness and self-interest. It stems from trust in God’s goodness and control over the situation. The gentle person is not occupied with self at all. This is a work of the Holy Spirit, not of the human will”

That is beautiful. And so that’s what we really want to be—aiming toward teaching our children that this meekness in the culture is very important and is not a weakness. It is restraint strength. Let’s look at Proverbs 31 really quickly as we come to the end of today’s study. And again, if you guys want more information on this, we’ve done a fantastic study for you. It’s about 65 pages long. These are not small studies. They’re beautifully illustrated. Lots of spaces for you to fill things out. These are studies that you can download and then study together. So if there’s a group of you that join MomStrong International, get together and talk about what God is doing in your life— that’s really the goal. All right, let’s look at Proverbs 31:10-29:

An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. She looks for wool and flax and works with her hands in delight. She is like merchant ships; she brings her food from afar. She rises also while it is still night and gives food to her household and portions to her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; from her earnings she plants a vineyard. She girds herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She senses that her gain is good; her lamp does not go out at night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hands grasp the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor, and she stretches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household, for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She makes coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies belts to the tradesmen. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future. She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and bless her; her husband also, and he praises her, saying: “Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all.

This is God’s heart. This is God’s heart for us, that we will be clothed with strength and dignity, that we would open our mouths and wisdom would come out. I love that he talks about kindness being something that she’s known for. We struggle with kindness in the culture right now. The culture does not approve of kindness. The culture wants strength. The culture wants us to get out there. But you know what? That strength is found, that quiet strength is revealed— in the character quality that is meekness. So I want to encourage you to embrace that today. This is something you should be talking about with your kids at the dinner table. 

And women, for those of you who are listening to this today and you’re privileged to be raising children in the culture right now— praise the Lord. Praise the Lord for the opportunity that He has given us to encourage and be examples to the generation that’s coming up because they need mentors. We’re struggling with identity right now and God says— find your identity in Me. Let’s see what God will do. 

I appreciate you guys listening.

As always, if you get a chance to please leave reviews for this podcast over at iTunes, it encourages us. Share it with your friends. If you want to reach out to me, you can reach me podcast@thebusymom.com. If you’ve got questions that you would like to have me address at Mailbox Monday, that is the place to send them. Please put Mailbox Monday in the subject line and please, please keep your questions short and sweet and to the point. We love you guys so much. We thank you for listening and our prayers are with you as you join us in getting off the bench and onto the battlefield. 

Have a great Wednesday everybody, and I’ll see you back here on Friday. 

Write to Heidi:
Heidi St. John
c/o Firmly Planted Family
11100 NE 34th Cir, Vancouver, WA 98682

Support this ministry by donating through E-giving. You can also send donations to: 1100 NE34th Cir, Vancouver, WA 98682

Submit your questions to MailBox Monday: podcast@thebusymom.com

Don’t Miss These!

TRANSCRIPTION:

Hey you guys, this is Heidi St. John. Welcome to my little corner of the Internet. Today is Wednesday, July 17th—this is episode number 793. Today we are in week three of the MomStrong International Bible study. We’re studying the fruits of the Spirit, and through the month of July I have been focusing on studying a biblical womanhood. God has a plan for us as we walk in right relationship with Him. It has to do with our ambassadorship, and that ambassadorship should be affecting and should be touching every aspect of our lives. Whether we are a woman or a man, the ambassadorship remains the same. Let’s talk about it. 

Stick around, I think you’re going to be encouraged.

All right, so before I do anything today, I want to say shout out to my wonderful son Skyler who is turning 22 years old today. Skyler, I love you. You are a joy to our family and an ambassador for the Lord. So as we talk about what’s going on today, this is going to be in the back of my mind—the birthday of my son and how my life as an ambassador of Jesus is ultimately affecting his life and the lives of my other children. And really, that’s kinda what it comes down to. So, I know you guys are going to love this study today. I’m really excited about. Before we get going, lots and lots of things coming up on the calendar. I wanted to let you guys know. 

First of all, I really have appreciated seeing so many of you at the events that we’ve done around the country. My speaking season is winding to a close, which is great because I have a book write. So I’m going to be working on that until school starts up and then I’ll be a right hip-deep into homeschool mode again. But I wanted to let you guys know a bunch of stuff coming up. First of all, I’m going to be at AFHE, and I’ve been talking about this for a while on the podcast. If you are in Arizona or New Mexico or Colorado or there’s about, come on out. I will be there July 19th, so in just a couple of days, the 19th and 20th. After that, my next stop will be my women’s conference. So the Heidi St. John Conference comes to Lee’s Summit, Missouri. We are just thrilled to be there. It’s going to be wonderful. It’s a one day event and it is going to be a wonderful time for you to dig deep into the Word of God.

Listen, the reason I do these is because I want to encourage you that God’s Word is relevant to your life right now. In other words, no matter what you’re facing, God has an answer for you. He wants you to walk in relationship with Him in such a way that when weird things happen in the culture, when you’re faced with a new problem, or something that you weren’t really sure how to respond to—God has an answer for you in His Word. And so that’s the focus of my women’s conference. That will be happening August 24th in Lee’s Summit, Missouri at one of my favorite churches, Abundant Life Church. 

After that, September 14th, I’ll be in Fredericksburg, Virginia for my women’s conference and then following that one I will be doing my women’s conference in Vancouver, Washington. It only happens once a year, so now’s the time to find out. The early bird registration rates for Fredericksburg end pretty quickly, August 5th. So if you’re in the area and you want to come out to that conference, this will be the only time I’m in that neck of the woods for the foreseeable future. So come on out Fredericksburg, Virginia, September 14th.  

Also want to let you guys know that we continue just to be thrilled and blessed by the reviews that you’re leaving for the podcast over at iTunes. Please continue to do that. It’s really an encouragement to us just to see the Lord grow the podcast. And speaking of the podcast growing, be listening for more information over the next couple of weeks about some really fun giveaways that we’re going to do to get ready to celebrate our 800th podcast on August 2nd. So we’re gearing up to celebrate our 800th podcast. You guys are gonna love the guests we’ve got lined up for that particular episode. 

And for us, it’s a time to sort of look back and I’ll give you a little bit of history of how the podcast started and how my husband and I have been doing this for coming on eight years now. So a long time and loving just the impact that it’s having in your life. So I want to just encourage you, keep leaving those reviews. 

It also is a huge blessing to me, if you’ll leave reviews for the books I’ve written over at Amazon or any place that books are available. There’s a couple of other things coming up, but I’m going to skip ahead because the Bible study is today. So for the month of July, we are studying biblical woman and I know there are a lot of men who listen to this and I’m trying guys, I’m really trying to throw you some love. But I will say this particular topic is going to be geared more towards the women. And if you’re a guy listening to this and you’ve got a daughter, this is a very important conversation to be having because the conversation needs to be had in the church and needs to be had in the culture at large.

And so before we dig into that, let’s look at our verse for today. The verse for the Scripture Writing Challenge is found in Hebrews 13:1-4. Again, this is taken out of the Bible study that we’re doing and all the verses that you’re writing through the Scripture Writing Challenge, which I know a bunch of you are doing that with me now. So thrilled to see that happen. We do a verse every single day of the week. The idea is that you’re putting pen to paper and really learning and studying the Word of God. The focus here is on how God doesn’t change. This is something that we talk about all the time at the podcast. Let’s look at it together. 

Chapter 13, starting in verse one— Keep on loving each other as brothers and sisters. Don’t forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it! Remember those in prison, as if you were there yourself. Remember also those being mistreated, as if you felt their pain in your own bodies. Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. [Hebrews 13:1-4 NLT]

In The Message, Eugene Peterson has a very interesting way of saying this. And again, I’ve told you guys, I like reading The Message occasionally just because I appreciated over the years, Dean Peterson’s perspective as he’s kind of, it’s like, it’s almost like what we do in relaying—like we’ll read a verse to our kids and then we’ll say, here’s what God’s saying. So this is sort of Eugene Peterson. I imagine him sort of almost talking to his kid. He’s saying, really what the Apostle Paul is saying is: Stay on good terms with each other, held together by love. Be ready with a meal or a bed when it’s needed. Why, some have extended hospitality to angels without ever knowing it! Regard prisoners as if you were in prison with them. Look on victims of abuse as if what happened to them had happened to you. Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex. 

And then actually Eugene says God draws a firm line. I would take it one step farther and say the NLT says God will surely judge people who are moral and those who commit adultery. So Eugene’s right in saying that this is casual and elicit sex and God is saying— I’m not just going to draw a firm line. I’m going to judge you— things are not going to go well for you, like I’m always saying to my kids, in the land which the Lord your God has given to you—if you can’t obey me and if you can’t listen. And this is sort of what we’re going to be talking about a little bit today for the MomStrong International Bible study, and I want you to be thinking with me as we address it. Because the fruit of the Spirit that we’re talking about this week is faithfulness, and the verse that we began studying is in 1 Peter 3:1-2. This is a tough one. Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 

You see everything about biblical womanhood. And this is a topic that’s not being addressed in the church very much right now. And we’re suffering for it because everything about biblical womanhood stems back to the beginning, in the garden, right? God passed every animal in the garden by Adam and he named them. And while Adam was examining every creature and choosing names, God was observing Adam and He was acknowledging that no animal was found to be a suitable companion for Adam. And so as a result, He placed Adam into a deep sleep and took a rib out of his side and created a woman to be a suitable helper, Adams companion. Can you just imagine Adam waking up from the greatest sleep of his life and rubbing his eyes in wonder as he sees the woman, this beautiful woman in front of him. 

You see God’s design for women was that she was made to be a missionary. And you see this in the verse that we just read in 1 Peter, he’s saying listen, wives be subject to your own husbands. So that even if some of them don’t obey the Word, even if some of them don’t know the Lord, they might be won over, without a word, by the conduct of their wives. We have an incredible role to play in the lives of our husbands, whether they are believers or not believers. And so the definition of that completeness, that we talk about in God creating woman to make man complete, has such a myriad of ways that it is displayed, right? But don’t misunderstand this— we were created to be born responders.

I said this last week, and I want you guys to really get this dep down into your heart. We receive seed from a man. We pour out our lives for months carrying this new human being, right? The beautiful thing that is pregnancy. You guys remember waddling and throwing up and avoiding the smell of your crockpot or whatever.  For lots of my pregnancies, my kids would laugh at me because I was so sensitive to smells and I would put the crockpot outside on the porch. So I’m addicted to my crockpot as you guys have been following me for years, you know, but I think back sometimes to those beautiful years of carrying a baby and remembering what a precious gift it is.  God was intentional in purpose and design, and everything God made He pronounced to be deeply, richly, satisfyingly good.

And that good design of God, the good design in making women the way that He made us also includes submission. And I think this is a bitter pill for a lot of people, to swallow, especially women. And it isn’t hard to understand why. In the church, the issue of submission in marriage is often misrepresented. It’s often misrepresented in the culture. It seems, at least to me, that women are taught that submission equals unqualified, unquestioning obedience to their husbands— and it leaves them feeling devalued and unloved. And you guys, this is not God’s heart. This isn’t God’s heart. 

Remember, I told you a long time ago that when I talked to my grandfather and my grandmother, when Jay and I were first married. We’re coming up on our 30th wedding anniversary this September, and we’ve been talking a lot about what life has brought us over 30 years— sometimes really great things and sometimes very difficult things. But one of the things we struggle with very early on in marriage was this idea of submission. I never saw it modeled well for me. My parents’ marriage was not a happy one. We went to church. But even at church, the message I got was exactly what I just said to you. That unqualified, unquestioning obedience, whether your husband was treating you kindly or whether he wasn’t, it didn’t matter— your role is just to be quiet and obey, and that isn’t God’s heart, this is untrue. 

And we talked about this a little bit last week. If you miss that study, you can still go ahead and download it. But others also fear that if women submit to their godly husbands, it’s going to lead to being abused. And I’ve heard this all across the country. And so as a result, a lot of churches ignore the topic altogether, which then results in a wrong understanding of God’s incredibly beautiful design for marriage. And so I don’t have time to go into the whole thing today. This is a great study for you to download. This is a wonderful time for you to become a member of MomStrong International and really dig deep with me in the study of submission as God has designed it.

And so we need to study it. We studied the concept of biblical submission because if we’re going to read the benefits of God’s design for marriage, we’ve got to understand His heart for it. You see, God made the roles unique to each gender. There are two genders, male and female. How do we know that? Because God said it in His Word, right? And those roles are really illuminated in a marriage. So that’s where we start. Remember in Genesis 2:18 that God realized it wasn’t good for man to be alone. So He decided to make a helper that was suitable. And many wives bristle at the idea of being a helper. And last week we talked about this and I want to just continue to talk about it because the Hebrew meaning for the word in the Bible refers to God as— He helps us.

Remember we talked about this last week. And so as we’re gonna reflect God’s heart, we reflect His heart in His design for us. God calls the Holy Spirit a helper. So this is not a role or a title of dishonor or even indifferent. It’s actually a role of honor that God has placed men and women together and said— this is how I created you to function. And I want us to understand that, because so often, it’s either abused or it’s misrepresented and sometimes both. And God is not unhealthy in His plans for us. And I want to just encourage you to lean into what God says is true because when we embrace what God says is true, and husbands when you love your wife like Christ loved the church— how did He love her? He laid down His life for her. And so faithfulness, which is what we’re exhibiting women when we say— I’m going to choose to believe that I am who God says I am. I’m who the Creator says I am. When we do that, our faithfulness that’s bred by the Spirit of God is filled by God’s Spirit and fills us with confidence and purpose— in our roles as male and female. 

And it only enhances what Scripture is calling us to in the practice and the beautiful embrace of biblical womanhood. So how good of God to produce fruit in us that empowers us to do what He has created us to do only better, right? And so this is not a god who dangles unannounced expectations above us and toys with what his plans are and whether or not we measure up. God is not secretive or unhealthy. He is holy and good, and He has equipped us to find Him. And so as we embrace faithfulness, we flourish in our role as women. And we’ve flourished in our role as believer’s. Faithfulness to the truth of God’s Word and to the truths of our design as God has defined it— results in freedom and liberty as we walk among our people and the world at large. 

So much as submission gnaws at our womanhood on fleshly days, which I get it, right? Needing help grates on a man. Who needs directions or a map, right? Both genders are filled with proud, broken sinners who need to embrace God’s design to function the best we can while we’re awaiting our move to heaven. And I think about this, I’m thinking about this more keenly today because my husband’s grandfather went home to be with the Lord a few days ago and we’ve been looking back over his life and it was a life of faithfulness. It was a life of saying—Lord, I’m going to embrace who you made me to be. I’m going to follow you with everything I have inside of me. 

And I’ll tell you what you guys, that legacy that we leave behind when we go home has a generational impact.

Women, listen to me, you are called to love your husband. You are called to love your husband. So what does that look like? God tells us in His Word— love is patient, it’s kind, it’s not jealous, it doesn’t brag, it is not arrogant. Love does not act unbecomingly. It does not seek its own. It is not provoked. It does not take into account a wrong suffered. Boy, that’s a tough one—let that sit for a second. It does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rather it rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes, all things indoors, all things. So as we study, we’re going to be studying Titus 2 talking about what God instructs women to do and how our motivation and our reason for doing what God asks us to do. It’s such an important concept for us to understand, but as we talk about… there’s two other things I want to get to today. As we talked particularly about the subject of submission, a couple of things I want you to understand: First of all, a submission doesn’t mean, women, that you’re subject to other women’s husbands. All right? You’re not subject to the guys in your church because you’re a woman. We are only accountable before God to one other for the office of man after marriage, and it’s not our own fathers, it’s our spiritual shepherds–pastors and elders or deacons— or whatever your church calls them. And only then if what they are asking is according to God’s Word. 

So it’s important for you to understand. God is not saying that women are just subject to men carte blanche, okay? That’s why we read in the very beginning— women be subject to your own husbands. He doesn’t say be subject to somebody else’s husband. All right? And so I want you to understand that. And God asks older women in particular, and we’re going to study this more in depth through the Bible study, to come alongside and mentor younger women.

And so if you’ve been saved more than five minutes, you are an older woman in the Lord than somebody else. And as you grow, this is one of the things I’m so passionate about here at MomStrong International, we don’t want just, we don’t want to equip you just to equip you. We want to equip you so that you can get out there and disciple somebody else. All right? And so this is a great place to do it. The place of marriage is a fantastic place for you to be mentoring somebody else. So it’s important. We’re going to be studying too God’s design for sex. God’s word shows us the joy and delight of a physical union. And studies even have shown how important sex is in marriage. And so women love your husband sexually. God’s good design for sex was meant to bless and destress both of you. This is not just for your husband. All right? This is for both of you. 

And so as we talk about roles in marriage and we talk about submission, I was going to tell you about my grandfather. I got distracted— squirrel. I got distracted. When we asked my grandfather about submission, he said— Heidi and Jay, in a healthy marriage, the issue of submission will never come up because you innately understand that one supports the other. So if I’m not doing well, Jay’s not doing well. Conversely, if Jay’s not doing well, I’m not doing well. We really are one flesh, and so we want to love each other as God says to love each other and not for this idea of submission. We are called to submit to the leadership of our husbands, right? And it’s important that we do it.

So we’ll get to the nitty gritty. We’re going to look at Ephesians 5:22-30 and particularly Paul’s instruction in verse 22 because it’s important for us to understand. But what I want you to understand is if you’re in your marriage and you’re arguing about submission all the time…. and women, you’re just struggling with this and your husband’s like— sorry babe, I bought that car, deal with it on your husband. That is a wrong application of submission. And so the first thing to notice in Ephesians is that Paul is talking to wives. He’s not talking to husbands. It’s not the husband’s job to be sure that his wife submits to his leadership. It’s a wife’s role to do so voluntarily. And Paul understands this. And so he addresses to husbands that they are by no means off the hook for a responsibility in the hard parts of God’s instruction to us.

They are called to love their wives as sacrificially as Christ loved the church. And unfortunately, not all husbands desire to submit to the Lord and tenderly lead and love their wives. And sometimes sin takes root under the guise of Christianity. And you guys, this breaks the heart of God. This is not God’s heart. God wants us to be walking in right relationship with Him. And this is where the beautiful relationship of submission comes in. So I’ve got a ton more information on this at MomStrong International. We’re going to dig even deeper into that. We’re going to talk about what do we do if the thought of submitting is terrifying because we grew up like I did in a dysfunctional, maybe even an abusive home—and so we come into marriage with the wrong understanding of submission and we are afraid of it. I think that’s actually a justifiable fear. And so we want to center ourselves around the truth of God’s Word. All right? 

So this is an important aspect in how we deal with submission in marriage. The other question we’re going to address is— what if my husband’s not walking in right relationship with the Lord, right? These are great questions and we’re gonna address them at MomStrong International this month, focusing on marriage and God’s heart for marriage. But before I end today, really quickly, and pretty much I’m out of time, but I wanted to say—I’m also talking specifically to women who are in abusive situations. 

Listen, you guys, God does not teach us to remain in unsafe situations. All right? So I want to just encourage you, if somebody in your church or in your family is being abused, there’s a ton of places where you can go for help. Focus on the Family, one of my favorite places, you can call 1-800-A-FAMILY and speak with a licensed counselor and receive free counseling referral to someone in your area. You can contact the national domestic abuse hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. 

And at MomStrong International we are really praying for you for clarity and for rescue as this study, even as we are going through the study, as the study was being written— God loves you. God loves you. And for a myriad of reasons, we can feel desperately alone in our marriages. And if we’re saved, we’re never alone. The Holy Spirit dwells in us richly. So cling to Him today. Talk to Him. Immerse yourself in the Word. And I want to just encourage you because God will sustain you no matter what a spouse says you deserve, God is clear. 

Husbands love your wives and do not be harsh at them, Colossians 3:19. In Psalm 9:9-10 it says, The Lord also will be a stronghold for the oppressed, A stronghold in times of trouble; And those who know Your name will put their trust in You, For You, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You.

Thus says the Lord, “Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom, and let not the mighty man boast of his might, let not a rich man boast of his riches; but let him who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the Lord who exercises lovingkindness, justice and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things,” declares the Lord [Jeremiah 9:23-24]

And one more verse I want to read to you in Jeremiah 31:3, the Lord appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.

Women. You are loved. God loves you and His heart that you’ll be married to a man who would love you the way God would want them to love you. And so women, I think the majority of you listening to this are in healthy marriages. Sometimes we get frustrated at their husbands, right?— moment of silence.

Yeah, you right. 

Sometimes we get frustrated. Sometimes our husbands are frustrated with us. We are called, women, to respect our husbands. Husbands are called to love their wives. This is part of the ambassadorship. So as we close our time in God’s Word this week, I want to look at one more area of worship that we can be offering our lives to the Lord. And that is the issue of dress. And I realize I’m over time today, but I can’t come back and visit this next week because I’ll be moving on. 

But our lives are about representing Him, right? This is the ambassadorship that we’ve talked about so many times here at the podcasts. And 2 Corinthians 5:20 we read for we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, come back to God.

So what is an ambassador?

An ambassador, according to the dictionary, is an accredited diplomat sent out by a country as its official representative to a foreign country. The Bible says over and over again, this world is not our home. We are aliens in this world. We are in a foreign country and you are therefore Christ’s ambassadors. And did you know that God sees you that way? Women? Men? He does. The Apostle Paul made it very clear that we have a special role to fill for the kingdom. We are called to allow the gospel to flow through us, to allow God to make His appeal for salvation through us. 

And this is an incredible honor. It’s an incredible honor. If you’ve ever had the privilege of seeing the United States Embassy, you’ll notice right away that the pomp and circumstance of the whole place is evident everywhere. Everything from the way the floors shine to the way the table linens are placed— says we represent the best of the United States.

Nothing about the ambassador appoints to the ambassador. It’s all about the United States. And as Christ ambassadors, we represent Him. And so the question is, how are we doing? And the best place to know is to check our hearts before we check our hemline. And so we talk about modesty, which is what we’re going to be studying this in the digging deeper section of MomStrong International, what I want to do is encourage you that we dress in a way that pleases God because we are ambassadors for Him. We are ambassadors for the Lord. And so as we as we dig a little bit deeper into it, we don’t want to have a farcical approach to it. We don’t want to do things just for the sake of doing them. We’re not about legalism here at the podcast. Neither are we about liberty. 

I’ve said many times— the Devil doesn’t care which ditch it knocks you into so long as you’re in a ditch. And so we want to be studying God’s Word to show ourselves approved as workman who do not need to be ashamed, who rightly divide God’s Word. And so as ambassadors for Christ, and I don’t have time today, but when you download the study you’ll see where we take it. Just scroll down to digging deeper and you can follow along with me. But as Christ ambassadors, what trying to do is point people back to Him. And anything that distracts from that, anything from the way we present ourselves physically to the things that we say with our mouths, right? …. to the things we write on social media— these things matter to God. Before it is an issue of dress—modesty is an issue of the heart. Tim Challies said, “Modesty is a virtue that shows love to others and brings glory to God through appropriate dress.”  

So when we’re thoughtful about the way we dress, what we’re really saying is— Lord, I want to represent You well. So because our culture flaunts sexuality, when we’re modest, what we are saying is a resounding no to the idea of causing somebody else to stumble. And a resounding yes to saving our beautiful bodies for our husbands, either current or future. So as representatives of the Lord Jesus, let’s choose to honor Him in every area of our lives. You guys, it’s a way we can joyfully honor the One who gave His life for us. After all, we are His ambassadors. Let’s be the best we can because we love.

And remember you guys. It’s not about us. It’s about Jesus. 

I’ve so loved having you here with me today. I appreciate it. For more on this study, download the study MomStrongInternational.com. 

I’m really excited to have you guys back here with me on Friday, my friend Bill Jack is going to be back on the show and we’re going to be talking about all things culture. You will love it, so come on back and in the meantime, please leave reviews for the podcast. We just love hearing from you. We check those out. If you’ve got a question you want answered at Mailbox Monday, shoot us an email podcast@thebusymom.com. Have a great Wednesday everybody, and I’ll see you back here with my friend Bill Jack on Friday. 

Write to Heidi:
Heidi St. John
c/o Firmly Planted Family
11100 NE 34th Cir, Vancouver, WA 98682

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