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Hey you guys, this is Heidi St. John. Welcome to my little corner of the Internet. Today is Wednesday, July 17th—this is episode number 793. Today we are in week three of the MomStrong International Bible study. We’re studying the fruits of the Spirit, and through the month of July I have been focusing on studying a biblical womanhood. God has a plan for us as we walk in right relationship with Him. It has to do with our ambassadorship, and that ambassadorship should be affecting and should be touching every aspect of our lives. Whether we are a woman or a man, the ambassadorship remains the same. Let’s talk about it. 

Stick around, I think you’re going to be encouraged.

All right, so before I do anything today, I want to say shout out to my wonderful son Skyler who is turning 22 years old today. Skyler, I love you. You are a joy to our family and an ambassador for the Lord. So as we talk about what’s going on today, this is going to be in the back of my mind—the birthday of my son and how my life as an ambassador of Jesus is ultimately affecting his life and the lives of my other children. And really, that’s kinda what it comes down to. So, I know you guys are going to love this study today. I’m really excited about. Before we get going, lots and lots of things coming up on the calendar. I wanted to let you guys know. 

First of all, I really have appreciated seeing so many of you at the events that we’ve done around the country. My speaking season is winding to a close, which is great because I have a book write. So I’m going to be working on that until school starts up and then I’ll be a right hip-deep into homeschool mode again. But I wanted to let you guys know a bunch of stuff coming up. First of all, I’m going to be at AFHE, and I’ve been talking about this for a while on the podcast. If you are in Arizona or New Mexico or Colorado or there’s about, come on out. I will be there July 19th, so in just a couple of days, the 19th and 20th. After that, my next stop will be my women’s conference. So the Heidi St. John Conference comes to Lee’s Summit, Missouri. We are just thrilled to be there. It’s going to be wonderful. It’s a one day event and it is going to be a wonderful time for you to dig deep into the Word of God.

Listen, the reason I do these is because I want to encourage you that God’s Word is relevant to your life right now. In other words, no matter what you’re facing, God has an answer for you. He wants you to walk in relationship with Him in such a way that when weird things happen in the culture, when you’re faced with a new problem, or something that you weren’t really sure how to respond to—God has an answer for you in His Word. And so that’s the focus of my women’s conference. That will be happening August 24th in Lee’s Summit, Missouri at one of my favorite churches, Abundant Life Church. 

After that, September 14th, I’ll be in Fredericksburg, Virginia for my women’s conference and then following that one I will be doing my women’s conference in Vancouver, Washington. It only happens once a year, so now’s the time to find out. The early bird registration rates for Fredericksburg end pretty quickly, August 5th. So if you’re in the area and you want to come out to that conference, this will be the only time I’m in that neck of the woods for the foreseeable future. So come on out Fredericksburg, Virginia, September 14th.  

Also want to let you guys know that we continue just to be thrilled and blessed by the reviews that you’re leaving for the podcast over at iTunes. Please continue to do that. It’s really an encouragement to us just to see the Lord grow the podcast. And speaking of the podcast growing, be listening for more information over the next couple of weeks about some really fun giveaways that we’re going to do to get ready to celebrate our 800th podcast on August 2nd. So we’re gearing up to celebrate our 800th podcast. You guys are gonna love the guests we’ve got lined up for that particular episode. 

And for us, it’s a time to sort of look back and I’ll give you a little bit of history of how the podcast started and how my husband and I have been doing this for coming on eight years now. So a long time and loving just the impact that it’s having in your life. So I want to just encourage you, keep leaving those reviews. 

It also is a huge blessing to me, if you’ll leave reviews for the books I’ve written over at Amazon or any place that books are available. There’s a couple of other things coming up, but I’m going to skip ahead because the Bible study is today. So for the month of July, we are studying biblical woman and I know there are a lot of men who listen to this and I’m trying guys, I’m really trying to throw you some love. But I will say this particular topic is going to be geared more towards the women. And if you’re a guy listening to this and you’ve got a daughter, this is a very important conversation to be having because the conversation needs to be had in the church and needs to be had in the culture at large.

And so before we dig into that, let’s look at our verse for today. The verse for the Scripture Writing Challenge is found in Hebrews 13:1-4. Again, this is taken out of the Bible study that we’re doing and all the verses that you’re writing through the Scripture Writing Challenge, which I know a bunch of you are doing that with me now. So thrilled to see that happen. We do a verse every single day of the week. The idea is that you’re putting pen to paper and really learning and studying the Word of God. The focus here is on how God doesn’t change. This is something that we talk about all the time at the podcast. Let’s look at it together. 

Chapter 13, starting in verse one— Keep on loving each other as brothers and sisters. Don’t forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it! Remember those in prison, as if you were there yourself. Remember also those being mistreated, as if you felt their pain in your own bodies. Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. [Hebrews 13:1-4 NLT]

In The Message, Eugene Peterson has a very interesting way of saying this. And again, I’ve told you guys, I like reading The Message occasionally just because I appreciated over the years, Dean Peterson’s perspective as he’s kind of, it’s like, it’s almost like what we do in relaying—like we’ll read a verse to our kids and then we’ll say, here’s what God’s saying. So this is sort of Eugene Peterson. I imagine him sort of almost talking to his kid. He’s saying, really what the Apostle Paul is saying is: Stay on good terms with each other, held together by love. Be ready with a meal or a bed when it’s needed. Why, some have extended hospitality to angels without ever knowing it! Regard prisoners as if you were in prison with them. Look on victims of abuse as if what happened to them had happened to you. Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex. 

And then actually Eugene says God draws a firm line. I would take it one step farther and say the NLT says God will surely judge people who are moral and those who commit adultery. So Eugene’s right in saying that this is casual and elicit sex and God is saying— I’m not just going to draw a firm line. I’m going to judge you— things are not going to go well for you, like I’m always saying to my kids, in the land which the Lord your God has given to you—if you can’t obey me and if you can’t listen. And this is sort of what we’re going to be talking about a little bit today for the MomStrong International Bible study, and I want you to be thinking with me as we address it. Because the fruit of the Spirit that we’re talking about this week is faithfulness, and the verse that we began studying is in 1 Peter 3:1-2. This is a tough one. Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 

You see everything about biblical womanhood. And this is a topic that’s not being addressed in the church very much right now. And we’re suffering for it because everything about biblical womanhood stems back to the beginning, in the garden, right? God passed every animal in the garden by Adam and he named them. And while Adam was examining every creature and choosing names, God was observing Adam and He was acknowledging that no animal was found to be a suitable companion for Adam. And so as a result, He placed Adam into a deep sleep and took a rib out of his side and created a woman to be a suitable helper, Adams companion. Can you just imagine Adam waking up from the greatest sleep of his life and rubbing his eyes in wonder as he sees the woman, this beautiful woman in front of him. 

You see God’s design for women was that she was made to be a missionary. And you see this in the verse that we just read in 1 Peter, he’s saying listen, wives be subject to your own husbands. So that even if some of them don’t obey the Word, even if some of them don’t know the Lord, they might be won over, without a word, by the conduct of their wives. We have an incredible role to play in the lives of our husbands, whether they are believers or not believers. And so the definition of that completeness, that we talk about in God creating woman to make man complete, has such a myriad of ways that it is displayed, right? But don’t misunderstand this— we were created to be born responders.

I said this last week, and I want you guys to really get this dep down into your heart. We receive seed from a man. We pour out our lives for months carrying this new human being, right? The beautiful thing that is pregnancy. You guys remember waddling and throwing up and avoiding the smell of your crockpot or whatever.  For lots of my pregnancies, my kids would laugh at me because I was so sensitive to smells and I would put the crockpot outside on the porch. So I’m addicted to my crockpot as you guys have been following me for years, you know, but I think back sometimes to those beautiful years of carrying a baby and remembering what a precious gift it is.  God was intentional in purpose and design, and everything God made He pronounced to be deeply, richly, satisfyingly good.

And that good design of God, the good design in making women the way that He made us also includes submission. And I think this is a bitter pill for a lot of people, to swallow, especially women. And it isn’t hard to understand why. In the church, the issue of submission in marriage is often misrepresented. It’s often misrepresented in the culture. It seems, at least to me, that women are taught that submission equals unqualified, unquestioning obedience to their husbands— and it leaves them feeling devalued and unloved. And you guys, this is not God’s heart. This isn’t God’s heart. 

Remember, I told you a long time ago that when I talked to my grandfather and my grandmother, when Jay and I were first married. We’re coming up on our 30th wedding anniversary this September, and we’ve been talking a lot about what life has brought us over 30 years— sometimes really great things and sometimes very difficult things. But one of the things we struggle with very early on in marriage was this idea of submission. I never saw it modeled well for me. My parents’ marriage was not a happy one. We went to church. But even at church, the message I got was exactly what I just said to you. That unqualified, unquestioning obedience, whether your husband was treating you kindly or whether he wasn’t, it didn’t matter— your role is just to be quiet and obey, and that isn’t God’s heart, this is untrue. 

And we talked about this a little bit last week. If you miss that study, you can still go ahead and download it. But others also fear that if women submit to their godly husbands, it’s going to lead to being abused. And I’ve heard this all across the country. And so as a result, a lot of churches ignore the topic altogether, which then results in a wrong understanding of God’s incredibly beautiful design for marriage. And so I don’t have time to go into the whole thing today. This is a great study for you to download. This is a wonderful time for you to become a member of MomStrong International and really dig deep with me in the study of submission as God has designed it.

And so we need to study it. We studied the concept of biblical submission because if we’re going to read the benefits of God’s design for marriage, we’ve got to understand His heart for it. You see, God made the roles unique to each gender. There are two genders, male and female. How do we know that? Because God said it in His Word, right? And those roles are really illuminated in a marriage. So that’s where we start. Remember in Genesis 2:18 that God realized it wasn’t good for man to be alone. So He decided to make a helper that was suitable. And many wives bristle at the idea of being a helper. And last week we talked about this and I want to just continue to talk about it because the Hebrew meaning for the word in the Bible refers to God as— He helps us.

Remember we talked about this last week. And so as we’re gonna reflect God’s heart, we reflect His heart in His design for us. God calls the Holy Spirit a helper. So this is not a role or a title of dishonor or even indifferent. It’s actually a role of honor that God has placed men and women together and said— this is how I created you to function. And I want us to understand that, because so often, it’s either abused or it’s misrepresented and sometimes both. And God is not unhealthy in His plans for us. And I want to just encourage you to lean into what God says is true because when we embrace what God says is true, and husbands when you love your wife like Christ loved the church— how did He love her? He laid down His life for her. And so faithfulness, which is what we’re exhibiting women when we say— I’m going to choose to believe that I am who God says I am. I’m who the Creator says I am. When we do that, our faithfulness that’s bred by the Spirit of God is filled by God’s Spirit and fills us with confidence and purpose— in our roles as male and female. 

And it only enhances what Scripture is calling us to in the practice and the beautiful embrace of biblical womanhood. So how good of God to produce fruit in us that empowers us to do what He has created us to do only better, right? And so this is not a god who dangles unannounced expectations above us and toys with what his plans are and whether or not we measure up. God is not secretive or unhealthy. He is holy and good, and He has equipped us to find Him. And so as we embrace faithfulness, we flourish in our role as women. And we’ve flourished in our role as believer’s. Faithfulness to the truth of God’s Word and to the truths of our design as God has defined it— results in freedom and liberty as we walk among our people and the world at large. 

So much as submission gnaws at our womanhood on fleshly days, which I get it, right? Needing help grates on a man. Who needs directions or a map, right? Both genders are filled with proud, broken sinners who need to embrace God’s design to function the best we can while we’re awaiting our move to heaven. And I think about this, I’m thinking about this more keenly today because my husband’s grandfather went home to be with the Lord a few days ago and we’ve been looking back over his life and it was a life of faithfulness. It was a life of saying—Lord, I’m going to embrace who you made me to be. I’m going to follow you with everything I have inside of me. 

And I’ll tell you what you guys, that legacy that we leave behind when we go home has a generational impact.

Women, listen to me, you are called to love your husband. You are called to love your husband. So what does that look like? God tells us in His Word— love is patient, it’s kind, it’s not jealous, it doesn’t brag, it is not arrogant. Love does not act unbecomingly. It does not seek its own. It is not provoked. It does not take into account a wrong suffered. Boy, that’s a tough one—let that sit for a second. It does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rather it rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes, all things indoors, all things. So as we study, we’re going to be studying Titus 2 talking about what God instructs women to do and how our motivation and our reason for doing what God asks us to do. It’s such an important concept for us to understand, but as we talk about… there’s two other things I want to get to today. As we talked particularly about the subject of submission, a couple of things I want you to understand: First of all, a submission doesn’t mean, women, that you’re subject to other women’s husbands. All right? You’re not subject to the guys in your church because you’re a woman. We are only accountable before God to one other for the office of man after marriage, and it’s not our own fathers, it’s our spiritual shepherds–pastors and elders or deacons— or whatever your church calls them. And only then if what they are asking is according to God’s Word. 

So it’s important for you to understand. God is not saying that women are just subject to men carte blanche, okay? That’s why we read in the very beginning— women be subject to your own husbands. He doesn’t say be subject to somebody else’s husband. All right? And so I want you to understand that. And God asks older women in particular, and we’re going to study this more in depth through the Bible study, to come alongside and mentor younger women.

And so if you’ve been saved more than five minutes, you are an older woman in the Lord than somebody else. And as you grow, this is one of the things I’m so passionate about here at MomStrong International, we don’t want just, we don’t want to equip you just to equip you. We want to equip you so that you can get out there and disciple somebody else. All right? And so this is a great place to do it. The place of marriage is a fantastic place for you to be mentoring somebody else. So it’s important. We’re going to be studying too God’s design for sex. God’s word shows us the joy and delight of a physical union. And studies even have shown how important sex is in marriage. And so women love your husband sexually. God’s good design for sex was meant to bless and destress both of you. This is not just for your husband. All right? This is for both of you. 

And so as we talk about roles in marriage and we talk about submission, I was going to tell you about my grandfather. I got distracted— squirrel. I got distracted. When we asked my grandfather about submission, he said— Heidi and Jay, in a healthy marriage, the issue of submission will never come up because you innately understand that one supports the other. So if I’m not doing well, Jay’s not doing well. Conversely, if Jay’s not doing well, I’m not doing well. We really are one flesh, and so we want to love each other as God says to love each other and not for this idea of submission. We are called to submit to the leadership of our husbands, right? And it’s important that we do it.

So we’ll get to the nitty gritty. We’re going to look at Ephesians 5:22-30 and particularly Paul’s instruction in verse 22 because it’s important for us to understand. But what I want you to understand is if you’re in your marriage and you’re arguing about submission all the time…. and women, you’re just struggling with this and your husband’s like— sorry babe, I bought that car, deal with it on your husband. That is a wrong application of submission. And so the first thing to notice in Ephesians is that Paul is talking to wives. He’s not talking to husbands. It’s not the husband’s job to be sure that his wife submits to his leadership. It’s a wife’s role to do so voluntarily. And Paul understands this. And so he addresses to husbands that they are by no means off the hook for a responsibility in the hard parts of God’s instruction to us.

They are called to love their wives as sacrificially as Christ loved the church. And unfortunately, not all husbands desire to submit to the Lord and tenderly lead and love their wives. And sometimes sin takes root under the guise of Christianity. And you guys, this breaks the heart of God. This is not God’s heart. God wants us to be walking in right relationship with Him. And this is where the beautiful relationship of submission comes in. So I’ve got a ton more information on this at MomStrong International. We’re going to dig even deeper into that. We’re going to talk about what do we do if the thought of submitting is terrifying because we grew up like I did in a dysfunctional, maybe even an abusive home—and so we come into marriage with the wrong understanding of submission and we are afraid of it. I think that’s actually a justifiable fear. And so we want to center ourselves around the truth of God’s Word. All right? 

So this is an important aspect in how we deal with submission in marriage. The other question we’re going to address is— what if my husband’s not walking in right relationship with the Lord, right? These are great questions and we’re gonna address them at MomStrong International this month, focusing on marriage and God’s heart for marriage. But before I end today, really quickly, and pretty much I’m out of time, but I wanted to say—I’m also talking specifically to women who are in abusive situations. 

Listen, you guys, God does not teach us to remain in unsafe situations. All right? So I want to just encourage you, if somebody in your church or in your family is being abused, there’s a ton of places where you can go for help. Focus on the Family, one of my favorite places, you can call 1-800-A-FAMILY and speak with a licensed counselor and receive free counseling referral to someone in your area. You can contact the national domestic abuse hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. 

And at MomStrong International we are really praying for you for clarity and for rescue as this study, even as we are going through the study, as the study was being written— God loves you. God loves you. And for a myriad of reasons, we can feel desperately alone in our marriages. And if we’re saved, we’re never alone. The Holy Spirit dwells in us richly. So cling to Him today. Talk to Him. Immerse yourself in the Word. And I want to just encourage you because God will sustain you no matter what a spouse says you deserve, God is clear. 

Husbands love your wives and do not be harsh at them, Colossians 3:19. In Psalm 9:9-10 it says, The Lord also will be a stronghold for the oppressed, A stronghold in times of trouble; And those who know Your name will put their trust in You, For You, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You.

Thus says the Lord, “Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom, and let not the mighty man boast of his might, let not a rich man boast of his riches; but let him who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the Lord who exercises lovingkindness, justice and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things,” declares the Lord [Jeremiah 9:23-24]

And one more verse I want to read to you in Jeremiah 31:3, the Lord appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.

Women. You are loved. God loves you and His heart that you’ll be married to a man who would love you the way God would want them to love you. And so women, I think the majority of you listening to this are in healthy marriages. Sometimes we get frustrated at their husbands, right?— moment of silence.

Yeah, you right. 

Sometimes we get frustrated. Sometimes our husbands are frustrated with us. We are called, women, to respect our husbands. Husbands are called to love their wives. This is part of the ambassadorship. So as we close our time in God’s Word this week, I want to look at one more area of worship that we can be offering our lives to the Lord. And that is the issue of dress. And I realize I’m over time today, but I can’t come back and visit this next week because I’ll be moving on. 

But our lives are about representing Him, right? This is the ambassadorship that we’ve talked about so many times here at the podcasts. And 2 Corinthians 5:20 we read for we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, come back to God.

So what is an ambassador?

An ambassador, according to the dictionary, is an accredited diplomat sent out by a country as its official representative to a foreign country. The Bible says over and over again, this world is not our home. We are aliens in this world. We are in a foreign country and you are therefore Christ’s ambassadors. And did you know that God sees you that way? Women? Men? He does. The Apostle Paul made it very clear that we have a special role to fill for the kingdom. We are called to allow the gospel to flow through us, to allow God to make His appeal for salvation through us. 

And this is an incredible honor. It’s an incredible honor. If you’ve ever had the privilege of seeing the United States Embassy, you’ll notice right away that the pomp and circumstance of the whole place is evident everywhere. Everything from the way the floors shine to the way the table linens are placed— says we represent the best of the United States.

Nothing about the ambassador appoints to the ambassador. It’s all about the United States. And as Christ ambassadors, we represent Him. And so the question is, how are we doing? And the best place to know is to check our hearts before we check our hemline. And so we talk about modesty, which is what we’re going to be studying this in the digging deeper section of MomStrong International, what I want to do is encourage you that we dress in a way that pleases God because we are ambassadors for Him. We are ambassadors for the Lord. And so as we as we dig a little bit deeper into it, we don’t want to have a farcical approach to it. We don’t want to do things just for the sake of doing them. We’re not about legalism here at the podcast. Neither are we about liberty. 

I’ve said many times— the Devil doesn’t care which ditch it knocks you into so long as you’re in a ditch. And so we want to be studying God’s Word to show ourselves approved as workman who do not need to be ashamed, who rightly divide God’s Word. And so as ambassadors for Christ, and I don’t have time today, but when you download the study you’ll see where we take it. Just scroll down to digging deeper and you can follow along with me. But as Christ ambassadors, what trying to do is point people back to Him. And anything that distracts from that, anything from the way we present ourselves physically to the things that we say with our mouths, right? …. to the things we write on social media— these things matter to God. Before it is an issue of dress—modesty is an issue of the heart. Tim Challies said, “Modesty is a virtue that shows love to others and brings glory to God through appropriate dress.”  

So when we’re thoughtful about the way we dress, what we’re really saying is— Lord, I want to represent You well. So because our culture flaunts sexuality, when we’re modest, what we are saying is a resounding no to the idea of causing somebody else to stumble. And a resounding yes to saving our beautiful bodies for our husbands, either current or future. So as representatives of the Lord Jesus, let’s choose to honor Him in every area of our lives. You guys, it’s a way we can joyfully honor the One who gave His life for us. After all, we are His ambassadors. Let’s be the best we can because we love.

And remember you guys. It’s not about us. It’s about Jesus. 

I’ve so loved having you here with me today. I appreciate it. For more on this study, download the study MomStrongInternational.com. 

I’m really excited to have you guys back here with me on Friday, my friend Bill Jack is going to be back on the show and we’re going to be talking about all things culture. You will love it, so come on back and in the meantime, please leave reviews for the podcast. We just love hearing from you. We check those out. If you’ve got a question you want answered at Mailbox Monday, shoot us an email podcast@thebusymom.com. Have a great Wednesday everybody, and I’ll see you back here with my friend Bill Jack on Friday. 

Write to Heidi:
Heidi St. John
c/o Firmly Planted Family
11100 NE 34th Cir, Vancouver, WA 98682

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