It begins the moment you first lay eyes on her, all cute and cuddly and adorable in that special blanket you picked out for her before she was even born. You’re in love.
Whether it’s the culmination of your own nine months of waiting, or the blessing of adoption, you have been entrusted with the care and nurturing of a sweet little soul. And the gratitude mixed with the responsibility is overwhelming. You know this is not something you can do on your own. Your prayer life increases ten-fold.
She continues to grow in beauty and grace, and you are daily in awe at her innocence, trust and child-faith in all she does, and in the people she knows. Your desire to protect her and cherish her makes you officially, a Mama Bear.
Then it happens, she becomes a “teen”, a “young adult”, a “young woman”. And you’re no longer sure of yourself, and you begin to question every.single.decision. you’ve ever made concerning her upbringing. You start to give in to some fear that she will throw off all you’ve taught her, and become something completely other than you. And, you know what? She does.
And you realize that it was never about any power YOU had, or inspiration YOU provided. If you look to that, you’ll be disappointed. Those are the very things she’ll challenge in those “hard years” (and let’s be honest…they’re hard whether she’s a good girl or a challenge).
What she won’t challenge, and what she will hold on to are all the ways in which you were a witness. In the end, that’s all that will matter. All you can do is point her to Jesus. Over and over and over. She has to see that no matter where she lands, she can look for the signs that point her to Jesus, because you’ve clearly laid those out for her throughout the years.
As moms, we do not have the power to make a heart change in our daughters, but each day we are given the opportunity to point them back to Jesus.
Here are nine ways you can point your teen daughter to Jesus:
Love
Let her see you really loving people, especially those who are unlovable. The ones that don’t look like others in her social group. The ones who are less fortunate than her.
Joy
Let her see you being joyful in all things and in all circumstances. She’ll learn that joy is an inside joy, provided by the Spirit, and not the product of another person or relationship.
Peace
Let her see you trusting in God’s promises, even when times are hard, not fretting over things that are in His hands.
Longsuffering
Let her see you pray over the lost, turn the other cheek when possible, and give it your all for the sake of Christ.
Kindness
Let her see true kindness towards others that isn’t premeditated. Just be nice in front of and behind someone else’s back.
Goodness
Let her see real goodness. The kind that can’t be faked. Let the Lord show you ways to show her His goodness to all, regardless of their past.
Faithfulness
Let her see you read your Bible, and practice what it says. Be a doer of the Word, and not a hearer only.
Gentleness
Let her see you be a lady. This doesn’t mean you have to wear pearls and heels, but all women have a gentleness about them and puppies, bunnies, babies, and people who suffer know this. Find ways to show her that about herself, by finding ways to use your own.
Self-Control
Let her see you take all things in moderation. Choose her over online time, unnecessary commitments. Guard your temper. Be mindful to take care of your body, a temple of the Holy Spirit.
All of this can only come from the Fruit of the Spirit. Galatians 5:22-23:
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
Let her see that there is no law against such things. And keep pointing her to Jesus.
Disclaimer: You might notice I am a teen boy mom, not a mom to daughters. So why am I writing about daughters? It’s simple really. I am a daughter, and though I am not legally parenting a daughter, I am “Auntie Marcy” to many young girls and teens. So remember sweet moms, even if you are a mom of boys, it’s likely your influence reaches past your own parental responsibility and pours itself over the life of many, including a few teen “daughters of the heart.” The Fruit of the Spirit applies in those situations, too. You are being watched. Be sure you’re pointing them all back to Jesus with a life well-lived to honor Him.
Setting an example is so important in parenting. Galatians is the perfect compliment to this advice.
Absolutely, Nikki! Thank you for the reminder! <3
Galatians is the perfect complement to LIFE! Thanks for stopping by Nikki!
Isn’t it so true that the best way to point our kids to Jesus is to do it by the way we act. But, it’s always easier to just say it, and it’s much harder to live it.
It’s so much easier to say it, yes. But so much more effective to live it. I think it should be our prayer every morning — show me how to live it today, Jesus.
Thank you! I really needed to read this tonight. I don’t have a teen yet, but it is not too far off. From the looks of things we are going to have some challenging years, this is a great reminder to really show her God’s love.
It’s the best you can do as a mom, Katie. Tough years are ahead for most of us as moms. Begin now, before she’s a teen <3
My daughter will soon be a teen (where does the time go). All these things are so true because they watch you so closely. Be an inspiration.
You must have blinked 🙂
wow is what comes to mind. the points you make are so great and yes I am so thankful for the reminder of loving those who we think are unlovable and to show joy in all circumstances. I am learning this one. My hubby has been laid off for almost a year now and we have had our fair share of troubles with this. I keep relying on Jesus but sometimes I forget to show this to my children. And your comment about not having daughters, I think this would work also on boys. I have 5 boys and 3 girls. This blog post could fit either one I think…. great read. Thanks for sharing
It absolutely is important for both boys and girls . . . I completely agree. It is my hope that I am showing these things to my son (though I know I fail much). I will pray for your husband’s job situation — that is such a tough one and rains down difficulties in every area of life, I am sure. Bless you.
Thank you for inspiring amd reminding me these truths today. Very timely.
Bless you, Chris. I love it when He shows that His timing is always perfect.
This is such good advice and so encouraging right now! I have a 14 year old who confessed to me last night, she doesn’t think she’s saved. She says she believes that God is God and Jesus died in the cross for her sins, but she feels God is far away and she’s not his child. I brought scripture to her to encourage her, but she remained convinced something is wrong. I laid in bed last night questioning what I had done wrong, why was there this disconnect, etc. I need to practice all these things and pray for her. I told her we’d start doing Bible study together tonight, I’m hoping that will encourage her….
Katie, the best thing you can do for your daughter is to BE the woman God has created you to be. Let her see your faith lived out in a real way… flaws and all … and keep talking to her about the truth of God’s Word. Keep praying and laying this at the feet of the Lord. He hears and answers prayer! Hugs to you!
What a timely encouragement for me. I sat with my teen daughter for almost an hour this evening trying to talk her into a heart change. But ultimately pointing her back to Jesus is exactly what she needed me to do and I needed to hear this.
There’s nothing wrong with being an atheist. Most of the world does not share your Christian faith and you would do well to learn to peacefully coexist with them. Young people’s faith choices are theirs to make whether it’s another faith or no faith at all. You have a constitutionally protected right to your religious beliefs and so should they. Wake up and smell the freedom of religion.
This has nothing whatsoever to do with “freedom of religion.” You’re free to be an atheist. So am I. But in this country we are free to share our beliefs—especially with our kids! If you believed that your child was truly on a path that would ultimately cause her harm and you did nothing, not even talk to her about your fear, that would be nothing short of selfish. The only thing wrong with being an atheist is that atheists, like the rest of us, will have to answer to a God they don’t believe in.
So you consider atheism a “path that causes harm”? I am an atheist and I say no we won’t have to answer to “god” because there is no compelling reason to believe one exists. God cannot just be assumed as you seem to have done. While you are free to hold and even “share” your beliefs, young people are under no obligation to believe them or to be manipulated by vile fear pimping often launched at them in the form of hell threats.
I was raised in the Christian faith but at no time did I ever find Christian claims compelling or convincing even as a child and frankly I developed particular disgust for hell threats especially when they are used on children. While my parents are not pleased I cannot just manufacture belief nor am I responsible for unwarranted anxieties created by their dogmatic beliefs. We are only able to believe things by way of being convinced and having been on the receiving end of much Christian preaching I find the atheists vastly more convincing and a breath of fresh air.
“The fool has said in his heart, ‘There is no God’” (Psalm 14:1)
Joe, just because you chose not to listen or hear God through your upbringing, does not mean there is no God.
There is nothing there and you so very gullible. If you claim to hear and listen to god then ask him a few specific questions… exactly how many stars are there in the Milky Way galaxy. How many in Andromeda? Will our galaxies ever combine? Only the creator of the universe could know these things. This would actually be a good piece of evidence for a god but something tells me you won’t hear squat. Nor do you hear anything else except what goes on in your own deluded brain.
This would be just plain hard to pull off if it weren’t for the fact that it’s Christ in us doing the work! How thankful I am for his grace in me. We know he died for the sins of mankind and then rose again after 3 days, so that all who believe in him are saved and he, indeed is in us. We are the aroma of Christ. If anyone is in Christ, he’s a new creation; old things have have passed away, all things become new. It’s no longer we who live; it’s Christ in us.
Is it too late to help my 22 year old daughter?
My mom and I raised her in a Christian setting and she grew up in our church and she was baptized at 21. Now she says she really wasn’t ready to commit and has decided to turn her back on her Christian friends and left the church. I failed at being a good example