Category Archives: Faith

I’m Struggling {5 Practical Steps for Encouragement}

I have struggled with depression off and on for 8 years now. It used to be that I couldn’t say the word “depression” out loud. There was no word for what I was struggling with. And if I did think it, I didn’t speak it out loud. There have been many, many things I’ve learned through this thorn that God has allowed, but one of the biggest is that when you bring things into the light that were once in darkness, it loses just a little bit of the sting. I’ve learned that speaking our heartache out loud allows the building up of the Body.

Today, I want to share with you some of the practical ways God has given me hope and joy in the midst of the struggle. I have to let you know upfront that I do not believe that we can snap ourselves out of depression. I don’t share these things as a quick cure-all. I share these things to encourage you. As one who has been there, struggling day in and day out, I know it’s hard, often impossible to bring yourself to do one.more.thing let alone something that might be good for you when it seems that all you see is despair.

If I can encourage you with this thought: ask God for the strength to do ONE of these things today. And tomorrow, you can choose another.

5 Practical Steps for Encouragement

Talk. Share your heart and struggle with someone. Sweet friends, this is one of the hardest for me, so I’m starting with it. When I am down or struggling, the last thing I want to do is talk to anyone. As an introvert, this is doubly hard for me. But, find someone you can trust, someone who you know to be an encourager in your life. {Along those same lines, you know who will bring you down. It’s ok to not spend lots of time with those folks! I promise!} You need a cheerleader in your life, someone who will speak truth into the darkness. Don’t suffer alone.
Get out. This is another hard one for this introvert. 🙂 But, almost every single time I *forced* myself to go to church when it was the last place I wanted to be, I was so thankful that I had gone. God meets us in our lonely places, busy moms. Go out for coffee with a friend. Go to a movie. Go browse a used bookstore. Go to the Target dollar spot. Just get out. It’s nearly always good for us when we feel so isolated and discouraged to get out into the real world.
Be healthy. Goodness, these all seem hard for me. 🙂 Take ONE step in the right direction toward a healthier lifestyle. You would be surprised by how much food and what we put INTO our bodies affects our emotions and our mind. Drink more water. Cut out the soda. Cut out sugar. The less grains I eat the better, for me personally. Get outside and go for a walk – even a short one!! Any of these *small* steps can make a HUGE difference!!
God’s Word. None of us really *needs* the reminder to be in God’s Word. But when you are depressed, when you see no way out, a few minutes in God’s Word can give you that little glimpse of hope back!! The other thing that God’s Word does for us is show us that our Bible heroes struggled just like we do! Read 1 Psalm per day, see the heart of David {a man after God’s own heart} as he cried out in anguish, yet never gave up his hope in God. If you spend any amount of time in the book of Psalms, I guarantee your heart will be encouraged.
Accept Help. Whew, I know I’m just throwing these impossible things out at you…I promise, once you try ONE of these practical helps, the rest will come easier. Be gentle and give yourself time. This one is pretty hard, too. For a long time I didn’t want anyone to know I was struggling, so no way would I have ever acknowledged that I needed help. By help, busy moms, I’m talking about letting someone watch your kids for the afternoon, let a friend bring you a meal, let your husband help with the housework, let your kids watch tv for the afternoon – I promise, they will be fine. There were times I could hardly get out of bed, and I praise the Lord that I am not in that place anymore. But, I know the desperate feeling. And, the Lord knows, too. He is faithful!! Sometimes He uses the people in our lives to bring us a spark of encouragement – allow them to do so! Be brave, call that friend and tell her that you just can’t do this on your own, ask if your kids can come over for a playdate. Let others in.

Busy moms, I know that when you are struggling, the last thing you want to do is one of the above. I’m asking you today to try. Today may not be successful. Get up again tomorrow and try again. Don’t give up on yourself and don’t give up on your walk with God. Cry out to Him – from your bed, from your floor, from your kitchen sink. He hears. He knows. He loves you dearly. Despite how lonely you may feel, you are not alone. Speak those words of truth to yourself. He is faithful.

If you’d like to read more about my struggle with depression, I’d love to have you visit my little spot on the web. Here are all my posts related to depression & encouragement for you.

**Disclaimer: I am not in the medical profession. I cannot begin to tell you what is best for you, I only share these tips as an encouragement from one who has struggled herself. I have been on medication off and on for years…the Lord has used medication in my own life to bring me through some very hard times. But, that is not His plan for everyone. Prayerfully consider, with your family and doctor, what may be best in your situation.

Finding My Happily Ever After…

12 Replies

Since becoming a mom, and then a homeschool mom, I have found myself questioning myself and my decisions more than ever. One question I’ve asked myself a lot is “what happened to happily ever after?”

You see, growing up all I ever wanted was to be a wife and mom. This IS my happily ever after. So where is the happy? My visions of a sweet mom, a lovely home and perfect little children went quickly down the drain when I found myself with 3 babies in 3 years. I lost my mind along with those fairy tale dreams.

But, God is so faithful to calm my heart and fill me with His peace. Happiness? Not 24/7. But, peace? Yes!

In my quest for happiness, God has reminded me time and time again that this is not my home. My human nature is to seek out what will make me happy, figure out what I’m doing wrong to not find it, and look for how I can change my circumstances.

But God is slowly changing my thought patterns. (Not quickly enough, in my opinion, mind you!) He is teaching me that there is a reason that happily ever after isn’t attainable right here and right now.

Those hard days, those moments I don’t look like the mom I want to be, those times that I am tempted to fear for the future of my children? Those moments are an invitation to ponder heaven. Those moments are the reminder that God’s grace and His future for me aren’t dependent on my behavior or that of my children. Praise Him!

Friends, don’t look around and get discouraged by what you may or may not be seeing in your own life or the lives of your children. Don’t let the enemy trick you into believing that this is the way it will always be. Let the truth of God’s Word and His grace wash afresh over you today! We are not home yet!

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” Romans 8:18.

We have a glorious future in His presence awaiting us. He is asking us to trust Him more in the meantime. And just think, some day there will be no more potty training, no more sibling rivalry and no more dirty dishes piled up.

Let’s encourage one another while its still called today! Let’s look to Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. Let’s remind ourselves – and our children – that this earth, this here and now, are not our forever home. And then…let’s live like we believe it!

“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross…consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” Hebrews 12:2-3

A New Thing {Free Scripture Printable}

8 Replies

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:18-19

Last year I really struggled when Christmas was over; New Year’s was approaching, all the “word of the year” posts starting popping up… I felt, well, discouraged and hopeless. That verse at the top of this post? “See I am doing a new thing!” I didn’t believe it. Not one word of it.

You might say I was the “ye of little faith.”

I didn’t really believe that God could do a “new thing” in my life. Motherhood has been pretty hard, all nearly 12 years of it. Homeschooling has been even harder. The struggle with depression seemed never-ending. The weaknesses and character flaws I saw in myself seemed to grow instead of diminish. I did not have one ounce of faith that God could or would do a new thing in my life.

And you might say I was stuck there for quite awhile…maybe for years, even.

You know what is coming, right? But, God…

Friends, there is always, always, a “but” in our hopeless situations. And it always begins and ends with God. No matter how I feel, no matter how hopeless my situation seems, God is always at work and He is always the God of all hope.

That’s not always easy to remember or easy to believe, though. You might have thought I was taking a different direction with this post…you might have thought I was going to say, “Last year I had no faith that God could change my circumstances, but LOOK, HE DID! My life is awesome now! Everything has fallen into place just as I had hoped.”

God didn’t change my circumstances…He changed me.

Instead of a new set of circumstances, He did a new work in my heart. And how many times do we desperately need that from Him? How many times do I just need a shift in perspective, a reminder to be grateful, a glimpse of His face in my sorrow?

Busy moms, whether you are in a good place or a hard place right now, the God of hope has not changed. His feelings and His love for you are not hopeless or based on your behavior or circumstances. His love never fails. When all else around you falls apart, you can cling to that truth.

This New Year’s Day I’m not looking for a brand new set of circumstances to make my life complete. I’m looking to the God of hope, that has given me a new heart in Him, has made me a new creation through Christ, and I am continuing to cling to that verse that I don’t always believe. God is growing my faith…God is stretching me…God is continuing to do a NEW WORK in my heart and I’m so grateful. I’m so grateful for the ways I can see that new thing even though it isn’t the new thing I had hoped for. It’s even better because it is making me more like Him.

With His help I am forgetting the former things that I had hoped would change, I am making a daily {moment by moment} choice to not dwell on the past, I am looking for His newness in me and around me and praising Him for it…no matter how small it may seem.

Take a look around you today! I guarantee He is at work, which means He is doing a new thing for you, too!

Busy moms, if you need visual reminders like I do, I hope you will enjoy this printable Scripture passage I created for you! You can download the PDF printable HERE.

The Nightmare Before Christmas

6 Replies

‘Tis the season of Joy and happiness. A time where the country is transformed into bows, presents and special movies that make us smile. Holiday decorations come down from the attic and more memories are made.

But for some, this time of year is a nightmare.

The warmth of the season brings back the pain and memories of what was lost. It brings to light the reality of their current circumstances and the pain becomes all to real again.

This year, God has been working on my heart like never before. I have an unexplained excitement about this Christmas year… But not about the shopping and sparkle that surrounds us.

See, the very first Christmas seemed small at the time. Another baby was born.. Unknown by many, in a dirty manger on a cold night. No facebook announcements or Instagram pictures to celebrate with friends around the world. I’m sure as a little girl, Mary didn’t envision an engagement filled with scandal, horseback riding in the 3rd trimester and a labor among cattle. But like so many of us have figured out…. such is life right?

For some, we have learned to roll with the punches and for others, they are too broken to get up anymore. Like Mary and Joseph, the life they envisioned and planned for so long, is but a distant daydream… and what they are left with just makes no sense.

So why am I excited?? Why would such sour news bring a smile to my face?

Because this time of year more than EVER, is a time to seek after the JOY that we have been promised. But, not only to seek after it, but to SHOW it to others. TELL them that although the winds of change have thrown you into the sewers, you are never ever out of God’s grasp…

“He will cover you with His feathers, and under his wing you will find refuge.” Psalm 91:4

God sent His ONE son into a world that wanted to kill and destroy him from the start. He was born into a world ready to devour him just to give us LIFE. To give us JOY. A future we can never imagine!

THAT my dear friends is CHRIST-mas…. The GOOD news. The reason we celebrate. Not because life happened to be good to us one year, not because of our current circumstances…

But because no matter WHERE we are in life, WHAT is happening to us, WHO we lost, WHO we love….

JESUS CAME TO SAVE! HE CAME TO LOVE and He came to give us JOY!

Busy moms, life is tough. And life doesn’t always work out the way we planned. But hold on tight to the one that holds tomorrow.

On that dark night in Bethlehem, as Mary rocked baby Jesus to sleep, I am sure she wondered WHAT God was thinking…. really?? A BARN??? After spending days on horseback and giving birth in a dirty haystack. Could life get any worse???

At that moment, She couldn’t see the bigger picture. As Joseph was kicking the cows away so they had room to sleep, She didn’t know how beautifully God would turn that story around. That “Fateful” night would turn into something GLORIOUS!

Because that’s the beauty of God.

That’s why we trust Him…

Because HE weaves our story…

He is the Mighty God and the Prince of Peace… and all we have to do is trust him.

I challenge you today, no matter what is going on in your life, to look UP! Seek Him during this season… and celebrate.

God’s got this!

Merry Christmas my friends

XOXO

Finding Peace in the Chaos of Christmas

3 Replies

It’s the most wonderful time of year!

It is wonderful. I love Christmas. Yet, if I’m not careful, I’ve had many Christmases as a mom where I have been so stressed and overwhelmed that I have missed out on the wonderful part. It takes a lot of intentional focus and redirection for me to have peace in the chaos of Christmas. But, I’m thankful that I’ve learned, after several years mind you, that if I am intentional, the peace is there.

So, how do we find peace in the chaos of Christmas?

The biggest thing that helps me to find peace in all the chaos surrounding Christmas is to remind myself of this all-encompassing truth:

Peace is a Person. His name is Jesus.

When I turn my eyes to Jesus, just as the old hymn goes, the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace. Turning my eyes to Him helps my heart to slow down, remember what is important and focus on the real reason we are celebrating.

So, just how to we turn our eyes upon Jesus during this crazy time of year?

Just say no. Yes, just say no to MORE than half of the opportunities coming your way this December. I promise, you can do this. If I – a recovering people pleaser – can do it, you can too!
Make sure that the activities you DO plan on, are helping you and your children to focus on Him. Choose wisely.
Spend time daily with your children in prayer, devotion and reading books that draw you to the CHRIST in Christmas.
Serve others. Nothing makes me happier at Christmas time than to see my children doing for OTHERS.
Spend quiet evenings with the tree lit, reading the Christmas story together. Sing Christmas carols.
Continue that thankful tree you started back in October or November. Not only does it help my children to count their blessings (and not their wish lists,) but it helps me to refocus as well!

If you have done all you can do practically speaking to not have a chaotic December and you still feel yourself becoming overwhelmed, I want to remind you that there is power in the name of Jesus. Call out to Him. Really. I’m not trying to be hokey. In the moments of despair, call out to Him. In the moments of chaos and complete overwhelming stress, call out to Him. Say His Name. There is power, peace and freedom to be found in the name of Jesus.

In closing I want to share one favorite Scripture passage that gives us great insight into finding that elusive peace we so long for!

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

Busy moms, this Christmas season, I pray that each of us can truly find peace in the person of Jesus this year! This passage in Philippians tells us that PRAYER brings PEACE. Did you catch that? Don’t be anxious, but instead bring it all to God. When you bring it all to God, then THE PEACE OF GOD will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus! This December, let’s make it our aim to spend more time on our knees and less time in the chaos.

Confessions of a Recovering Legalist {part two}

3 Replies

Luke 10:27 says, “And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and love your neighbor as yourself.”

On the previous podcast, we had a conversation about legalism. The subject can be tricky and even divisive, so today, I want to focus on God’s heart for us. His heart is that we love one another. He desires us to be dependent on Him, not on another person or ideology. This is why Jesus reminds us to love Him with our whole being. When we love Him this way, we have the freedom and discernment we need to follow Him where He wants to lead us.

When Jesus leads us, there is no room for pride, either, because we know we’re dependent on God’s leading.

One of the most troubling things about legalism is that it keeps us from growing to be totally dependent on God. If we raise our children this way, eventually they too become bound by rules. It’s true: legalistic parents tend to raise legalistic children.

Jesus saw legalism in the Pharisees. The Pharisees were known for their rules, but never for their discernment. Here’s the thing: When we depend on a checklist of rules to determine our decision making process, there is no room for discernment. The Pharisees’ mindset would be “Give me the law. I want the rules so that I don’t step out of bounds.”

Christian parents have a critical role to play in teaching their children how to be biblically discerning. This means we must train ourselves to work through issues using Scripture for ourselves. Scripture should drive our decision making process. This is why it is so important to teach our children to make decisions for themselves within the security of our home. It is in our homes that we teach our kids how to truly know God for themselves.

Following rules reveals something else: it reveals a lack of faith in God’s leading in the lives of others. It says, “My confidence is in this parenting program or that man’s teachings” rather than in Christ alone. Busy moms, where is your confidence? If it’s doing things a certain way so your kids will grow up to serve God, you have to surrender.

It is so easy to give our daylight hours to a strict schedule and live our life by a list of rules–after all, that’s safe, right? But God has a much better way. His way requires a daily surrendering (there’s that word again) of our will to His. His way bears fruit. It’s not burdensome and it’s not bound by legalism.

I’m going to close with this today: consider what Paul said to the people of Philippi as he affirmed that if God began something, He would finish it. The word “confident” is a strong word. It means “fully persuaded,” or “completely convinced” about something. Are you completely convinced that God will finish what He began in your life? Where is your confidence?

Philippians 1:6
“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you
will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”

Paul chose the right thing to be confident in. To completion! Don’t you just love that? It just makes me want to sing for joy because some days, I feel like I’m not going to make it to grade 3, let alone grade 12 with my kids! This verse reminds me that I don’t need to depend on the formulas or rules of men, because I can be confident in God’s desire to see the work He has started in me and my husband through to completion.

After all, it’s His work, His power, and His presence in our everyday lives that becomes our true source of confidence and strength as we follow Him together. He can be trusted.

Thank God for grace,

Heidi

Confessions of a Recovering Legalist {part one}

4 Replies

Romans 14:1 says, “As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over disputable matters.”

Have you ever been doing something that you thought was perfectly fine, but felt eyebrows go up around you? Maybe you’re the one with the uppity eyebrows.

It took me a long time to recognize legalism, and I think it’s because I grew up in it. I lived in it for so long that I could not recognize it. As a young mother, I had little grace for others. In fact, I was probably more un-grace-filled than anyone I knew. I’ll be honest: I looked down on parents who did not subscribe to my particular way of parenting, and we kept company with people who encouraged us in our thinking. Eventually, several of the families that were part of our group buckled under the strain of our self-imposed expectations. Relationships were strained under the weight that our ideology brought with it.

I didn’t know it then, but I’ve come understand that my attitude was something called “legalism.” Legalism sits as the gatekeeper of a parenting vortex. Legalism says if you wear the right clothes, or don’t watch television, you’re righteous. It judges others by an extra-biblical standard. In other words, it judges others based on a personal conviction rather than Biblical fact. Things such as style of dress and parenting beliefs are something the apostle Paul called “disputable matters,” and yet, these are the very things that seem to trip us up the most in our walk with each other and with God.

In a “grey” areas, like watching television, wearing pants verses dresses, birth control, homeschooling or even courtship verses dating, we have freedom. God’s Word tells us that individuals have the freedom to make up their own mind, because issues like these are not specifically addressed in Scripture. Christ died to set us free! Free to listen to His spirit and follow His leading.

A few weeks ago, I wrote about the struggle we all have with pride. Pride is a killer, and legalism paves the way for pride to take root. We can easily take pride in our own opinions, rather than trusting that God can lead His own people—even when they choose something we might not have chosen!

Years ago, I was struggling with choice that one of my friends made. I told trusted friend about my struggle. “Heidi, does your friend love the Lord?” she said. I answered “yes.” She then said, “Is what she doing clearly sin?”

I thought about it for a moment and I said, “Well, to me she is sinning.”

At this point our conversation took an unexpected turn. “You know, Heidi” she continued, “you are putting your personal convictions on your friend. God has given you a personal conviction about this, not her. This is legalism. Your friend is not sinning… you are, because of the way you are judging her.”

I’ll be honest. For a minute there, I was pretty steamed. My pride was hurt. After all, most of the boundaries in Scripture are laid out. For example, we know that adultery is sin and we know that lying is sin. We know that the Bible clearly states it. However, when a behavior, a doctrine, or a tradition is not addressed in Scripture by a specific moral absolute commanding, or forbidding an action, it belongs to the category of freedom.

In areas of freedom, Christians are encouraged to establish their own convictions and are not permitted to judge or ridicule those who don’t share them. This is the opposite spectrum of legalism. What I mean is: while it’s not cool for me to become a legalist, it’s also not cool to for me to make fun of someone who has a personal conviction that I do not share.

I’ve learned from experience that while it might feel good for a while, legalism is a burdensome friend. If it is left unchecked, it can blind us to the sin of pride.

My husband says that legalism always is based in fear and perpetuated by pride. It starts with thinking “If I just do this and this and this, then I’ll have it right, I’ll have it down.”

Unfortunately, when those formulas (and they are usually formulas) fail, we perpetuate them by pride. After all, what if others see that I don’t have it all together? What if they discover that the thing I said would work really isn’t working? Once we begin to think this way, fear and pride take over and we’re stuck, but it’s worse than that: When we become so dogmatic about following rules instead of following the Spirit, we miss God’s heart—and we miss the freedom and joy that comes from following God.

So moms, as soon as you put your personal conviction on your friend, and make that conviction your friend’s responsibility, you have crossed into legalism.

You know, it’s easier, at the end of the day, to follow a checklist of do’s and don’ts. It is a harder thing to get before the Lord and say, “Father, show us what You want us to do.”

As a recovering legalist, I can tell you this: there is great reward in following God’s spirit. The person who is walking in the Spirit will avoid being caught up in the law.

It might make us feel righteous, but in the end, when we are led by the law, legalism becomes disguise used to cover up a failing of our flesh where love, grace and discernment should be.

Be led by His spirit,