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Words are powerful.
There’s a Proverb that says, “A torn jacket is soon mended, but hard words bruise the heart of a child.” A poem first published in “The Bible Friend” speaks about the great influence that a mother has in the lives of her children:
A Piece of Plastic Clay
I took a piece of plastic clay
And idly fashioned it one day,
And as my fingers pressed it still,
It moved and yielded at my will.I came again when days were past;
The bit of clay was hard at last,
The form I gave it still it bore,
But I could change that form no more.I took a piece of living clay,
And gently formed it day by day,
And molded with my power and art
A young child’s soft and yielding heart.I came again when days were gone;
It was a man I looked upon;
That early impress still he wore,
And I could change it never more.(Author Unknown)
This reminds me of the many opportunities we have as mothers to influence our children and the importance of the words we say to them. Listen to what the apostle Paul had to say about the power of words:
2 Corinthians 13:10
This is why I write these things when I am absent, that when I come I may not have to be harsh in my use of authority—the authority the Lord gave me for building you up, not for tearing you down.
Our words will do one of two things: they will build up, or they will tear down. As mothers, we must remember that every word we say to our children makes an impression on them. As you talk to your children today, ask the Lord to give you His heart and His words. His words are so much better than ours, aren’t they?
I don’t know about you, but it seems like I get a lot of opportunities to apologize to my kids. Every day, in fact! Sometimes, I get the chance several times each day. One time comes to mind immediately. It was a time when I was unkind to my daughter in front of her guests. A few minutes after I lost my cool with her, I went back to my bedroom and sensed the Lord saying, “You better go down and fix that!”
I went downstairs, opened her bedroom door and in front of all her friends I said, “You know sweetheart, I am so sorry that I said that to you. That was wrong. Will you please forgive me?” Kids are so forgiving. She forgave me, also in front of her friends. It turned out that my bad behavior turned into a good lesson for everyone about the power of asking for forgiveness and making things right.
Our children need to hear us say we’re sorry when we blow it. So if you’ve got some mending to do today, go ahead and start mending! Build your child up. Let them see you say you’re sorry. You don’t get this time of parenting back again. Make it count.
More Than Making Babies
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Hi moms!
You may have seen my Tuesday post that shed just a little light on the physical battle I’m facing—so the next few podcasts were recorded ahead-of-time. In fact, I’m hospital right now, and my sweet husband is helping me write this Friday’s post. My surgery went well, and now I’m trying to get on the road to recovery. (aka: I’m on drugs.) 🙂
It’s been a rough day—painful for sure but also humbling. Nothing like needing help just to go the bathroom! I’m so glad Jay has seen me at my worst. Why? Because it strengthens us when we walk through deep water together.
The longer I’m married, the more I appreciate the many sacrifices my husband has made for me. I want so much to bless him! God designed marriage to be an amazing union between a husband and wife. In our culture, we’ve lost much of the appreciation and wonder that God gives to the marriage relationship. Have you ever thought about how much God loves us? Marriage is a wonderful place to see God’s love for people.
Sex between married people is one example of God’s care for His creation.
Certainly it was within God’s creative ability to make procreation a dull, necessary part of making sure the human race continued.
Genesis 2:24 says “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”
Did you know that God has given us the ability to enjoy sex for the sake of enjoyment alone? The world seems to have stolen this from the Christian community and so we either hear about it being an awful, wicked thing or we hear about it being something that has absolutely no boundaries on it at all.
But did anyone ever tell you that sex is only for making babies? I hope you realize how far from God’s heart that is. God’s heart is that you enjoy sex with your husband. His design is infinitely more wonderful and loving toward us than we could ever comprehend. I love the imagery, of scripture: the Bible says that the two will become one flesh, ONE FLESH. The language itself suggests intensity, infusion, and pleasure. It also shows that God’s heart in uniting a husband and wife was meant to be this way, on purpose. God wants us to be one flesh.
For this reason, a man shall leave his parents, and they will have babies? Is that what God said? No, He said they will leave their parents and cleave to their spouse and become one flesh.
Sex is about so much more than making babies. I truly believe that God meant for sex to provide us with a respite from the stresses of this world. And a healthy, intimate relationship serves to strengthen the bonds between a husband and wife. Sex gives physical pleasure, and release, and wonder of wonders the most amazing thing we can think of happens through sex: NEW LIFE is created! Every time I think about this amazing gift, I’m speechless.
Be speechless—enjoy married life!
Mining God’s Word for Truth
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Have you ever wondered how capable your children are at recognizing the truths of God’s Word? The truth is, your children can take in the length and depth of the Gospel. The God News of Jesus Christ.
In Deuteronomy 6, verses 5 through 9 we read, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give to you today are to be upon your hearts, impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home, when you walk along the road, and when you lie down. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates”.
The truth is, you cannot make your children love the bible. But you can acquaint them with it. You can ground them in the knowledge of God’s Word.
I want to encourage you today, before you pick up a single thing to study with your children, pick up the Word of God. Honor the study of God’s Word above every other subject in your home. All other books take second place to what God has written in His Word for your children and for you.
It’s interesting to note that even though there are many things that change around us, God never changes. His truth’s never change. I have always been amazed to see writings from others who have gone on before me – including my grandparents. They recognized what God was doing around them. Nearly 80 years ago, the issues they were dealing with are the same type of things that are playing out today. We want our children to stand firm in the culture that they are living in. Honor the reading of God’s Word. You can mine God’s Word for truth with your children. While we can’t make our children love the bible, we can offer them a cool drink of water from God’s Word. We can make the study of God’s Word appealing to them.
This is one of the reasons we began writing the Firmly Planted Bible Study materials. We recognized the need to study God’s Word with our kids and we recognized the preciousness of scripture.
Impress God’s Word upon the heart of your child today.
When Five Minutes Becomes Two Hours
You all have seen me lately talking about being in real life more and online less. My children are growing and moving on right before my very eyes, and I don’t want to miss these years, these days, these moments… because I know I can’t get them back. Well, I’m not the only one. And one mom even wrote a book about it. I asked her to come share her heart and book with us here so we can all encourage each other in swimming against the current.
“I often wonder what my kids’ memories of me will be.
Will they remember me playing with them, cuddling, reading, cleaning, going places and spending time with their daddy, or will they remember a mom who was on the computer? What will the bulk of their remembrances be?
I want to pay attention, daily, to how I’m spending my time. How I spend my time will add up to my life, and it is just this one earthly life that I have – this one life that my babies will remember and think about one day when they get older. What if someone were to ask them, “What does your mommy love most?” Would they think of their daddy, or themselves, or Jesus, or would they think of my computer? How do they see me spending the majority of my time?
My babes are important to me, and I want them to grow up knowing how to live a real life in the real world. I want them to have strong, lovely memories of me because I know they will be healthier for it, emotionally and spiritually.
How much time I spend online means something to them.
And it means something to me, because I want to really live. I want to live where God has placed me, with the people He’s placed me with. I want to get outside
myself and get uncomfortable and do things that matter. In the real world. For real, hurting people.
And for the people in my care.
So that’s why five minutes matters.
That’s why it’s important to use this gift of time well, because it all adds up to something or nothing. And I want something.”
~ Sarah Mae
{This post contains affiliate links. See my disclosure page for details.}
Five minutes does matter, doesn’t it? Sarah Mae’s book, The UnWired Mom, offers encouragement, vision, practicality, and a two-week challenge designed to equip you with healthy online habits so you can live fully present and purposeful in your real life. Buy The UnWired Mom as a pdf or for Kindle and begin your two week challenge to disconnect today!
Sarah Mae is the wife of Jesse and the mother of the three spunky, beautiful children. She is the author of the best-selling eBook, 31 Days to Clean – Having a Martha House the Mary Way, the co-author of the book, Desperate – Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe, and a contributor to the DaySpring blog, (in)courage.
If you love cozy socks, coffee, Little Women, and candles, you might be her kindred spirit. You can find her blogging {almost} daily at SarahMae.com, tweeting @sarahmae, or Facebooking (is that a word?) at SarahMaeWrites.
Faith for the Fight
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Good morning, precious moms.
As I write this today (Tuesday, October 22, 2013) my palms are sweaty and my heart is racing—because I’m facing my own battle. Tomorrow, I will have surgery to address some major health issues, and one surgery includes a hysterectomy. I wrote about the initial diagnosis a few months ago. You can find that post here. Four doctors have all told me the same thing: this is the best course of action at this time. At some point, a decision has to be made. And we have prayerfully made it.
My husband and I took a few days off to be quiet together these past two days. We talked about our years of having children—and rejoiced over the gifts God has blessed us with. We marvel, frankly that my body has held up so well. 🙂 Jay says I’m held together by “duct tape and bailing wire.” I love that man. I held on tight to his hand as we walked and talked, but still, I battled fear of the unknown. Fear is a crippler. A thief. Fear is NOT from God.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7
Today, I find myself running to God’s Word again. As I pray, I am reminded of the struggles facing others around me, and of my own frailty. I say out loud: “God.Is.Faithful!” While satan would have us feel defeated and afraid, God would have us at peace.
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27
My devotion today was recorded several weeks ago, in anticipation of my being “out of commission” for a while. As I listened to it today, tears ran down my face—because even before my surgery was scheduled, God was preparing my heart through Gideon’s story of struggle and faith. I especially loved God’s tender heart toward Gideon’s doubt and fear.
Are you struggling with a fearful situation like the story I’m reading about Gideon today? If you are, remember that nothing we encounter escapes God’s tender care. He never sleeps. The Bible says He even cares about the sparrow.
“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” Matthew 10:29-31
Can you imagine? The God of the universe—cares about us! He is trustworthy. He is good. He is the ultimate healer.
Trust Him with me today, busy mom.
I do covet your prayers for the next few days. My surgery will be tomorrow (Oct 23) at 2:30 p.m. pacific.
—-Quiet Times for Busy Moms—- Faith for the Fight
I want to go back for a few minutes today to the book of Judges, chapter seven. I’m not going to read the whole thing to you, so if you’d like, you can read the story here, or you can open your Bible to Judges 7 and read the story of the battle that Gideon fights against the Midianites. As you read, you’ll discover that Gideon wins the battle with only 300 men.
This is my point: there is no battle so big that God is not able to fight it for us on our behalf. Gideon started with a bazillion men and God pared his army down to just 300 men and Gideon still won the battle! It’s as if God was saying, “I’m trustworthy!”
I love that God didn’t get angry at Gideon’s lack of faith, but He encouraged him by giving him access to the thoughts of his enemy. God is after your heart, busy mom–so you really can live the big assignments to Him. He’s trustworthy. He’s proven Himself, over and over again. At the end of the day, we either trust Him, or we don’t. We’re either like Gideon or we’re not.
Today, whatever circumstance you’re facing, whether it’s a financial difficulty or a struggling marriage or a struggle with a particular child or a big decision that you have to make, you can trust your decisions, your marriage, your finances, your children to the living God. He is trustworthy. He’s proven Himself before and He’ll do it again. You can trust Him.
In His Grasp,
Really? All I Want to Do is Sleep
Hi Moms!
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Hi Moms! It’s Monday!
I’ve got a lot on my heart and mind this week that I’ll share soon, but today, I want to talk about something that comes up in my conversations with moms over and over again. Can you guess what it is?
I’ve been talking about the subject of marriage for many years and I want to touch on in today again for just a few minutes. I met a mom recently who was really struggling with her marriage relationship. It seemed that “too much water” had gone under the bridge—and she worried that she couldn’t find “That Girl” again. I get it.
Are you tired like this mom? I could so relate to her! I have gone through periods in my life that have absolutely defied my ability to catch up with my sleep, and it’s not just because I’m a busy homeschool mom! It’s motherhood in general! I don’t know about you, but having seven children turned me into a night owl for several years of my life. The children are only just beginning to sleep through the night (haha!) and it’s been twenty-two years!
My seventh child is now almost three years old and we’re just starting to come out of that but for a long time, nights were the only time when the house was quiet. It’s funny, as the kids get older they’ve switched a little bit! The teenagers want to stay up late and the little ones want to get up early (because they go to bed early) and what mom finds out is that there is no time for her on EITHER end of the day! Right?
I’ve ended up getting up earlier to get ahead of the children—but if my husband or teens need my attention at night, well, you see where I’m going. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in 24 years! For a long time, nights were the time when I looked forward to unwinding and regrouping for the next day. I blamed it on the kids. 🙂
I wrote the first book that I published and have done much of my writing in the early hours of the day (as in midnight), and in fact, I wrote about this very thing in my first book, “The Busy Homeschool Mom’s Guide to Romance.” This book, by the way, is not just for homeschoolers. It’s for every mom who’s trying to balance the many demands on her time in a way that builds her family up.
Here’s an excerpt from that book on the importance of nurturing your marriage through seasons of extreme tiredness. See if you can relate. Keep in mind, I wrote this before I had a houseful of teens and middle schoolers and a toddler. 🙂
“At our house, nighttime is the only time of day when our house is quiet and I feel like I can think straight. I like to blame it on the kids. In fact, it’s late as I write this. The strangest things happen to me when the house is quiet. I can start to feel like my old self again. It’s the time I like to prepare for the next day, write a proverbial “to do” list or maybe read a book. (Or, get on Facebook. Just trying to keep it real.)
However, there have been many times in the evening when I have just sat down to relax and I hear the familiar sound of footsteps coming down the hall. “Are you coming to bed?” The question made me bristle. I have to admit, I have occasionally thought to myself, “Sure I am! After you’re asleep!”
In fact, when all our children were babies this was a real struggle for me. Marriage can be very stressful when babies are little. If you’re a nursing mom and your baby is four months old or younger, you have my unwavering understanding. But don’t take your eyes off of what’s most important. One of satan’s most effective weapons against marriage is simple: to create a separateness between a husband and wife—and He’ll do it however he can.
Sex and intimacy in marriage is one area in which he can create a chasm between a husband and wife, whether it’s poor scheduling or poor prioritizing, anytime I notice that we are at odds with each other, if I step back and look at the big picture of our life, I will usually find that we are not spending enough time with each other. If you’re too tired for sex, it’s time to make some changes. Affection and intimacy seem to come more easily (as I’ve told many busy moms before) when I have priorities in line and I save the best part of me for my husband. As a matter of fact, I usually say, “Why don’t we do this more often?”
That’s just how forgetful I can be.
Don’t let your lack of energy or sleep come between you and your husband for long stretches of time. Engage in conversation. Let him know how you feel—and find out how he’s feeling too. Communicate. Prefer one another. It’s worth it.
Step Out in Faith—Let Go of Fear
We’re going to continue today in Judges chapter six. I’m going to go ahead and skip towards the end of the chapter.
I’d really love to hear what you’re learning about your walk with the Lord as we go along. Something I have learned over the years when in comes to Bible study is that our children, starting in about 3rd grade, are very capeable and studying the Bible right along with us. I want to encourage you to give your children a journal and allow them to write what they see God doing in their own lives and what God is teaching them. It’s amazing how the Lord will speak to your children—so don’t be afraid to dig into the Bible with your kids. 🙂
So let’s pick up our study of Gideon today:
36 Gideon said to God, “If you will save Israel by my hand as you have promised— 37 look, I will place a wool fleece on the threshing floor. If there is dew only on the fleece and all the ground is dry, then I will know that you will save Israel by my hand, as you said.” 38 And that is what happened. Gideon rose early the next day; he squeezed the fleece and wrung out the dew—a bowlful of water.
39 Then Gideon said to God, “Do not be angry with me. Let me make just one more request. Allow me one more test with the fleece, but this time make the fleece dry and let the ground be covered with dew.” 40 That night God did so. Only the fleece was dry; all the ground was covered with dew.
Now, many Bible scholars will criticize Gideon for putting out a fleece, and you might hear people say, “It’s not right to test God or ask for signs when we’re trying to make a big decision,” but I tend to see it a little differently. I think it’s amazing to watch God’s response to Gideon—and I find it hard to criticize him for his lack of faith… because God didn’t criticize him.
Keep in mind that Gideon had been living in a time of idolatry and he didn’t know very much about the living God. Just hours before, a terrified Gideon had been hiding in a winepress, and it was a huge step of faith for him to follow God in this way—just considering obedience to God was testing what he had seen all around him!
Here’s what’s amazing though: God trusted Gideon enough to listen to his questioning and to take him seriously. God was patient. He did not get angry because Gideon wanted a “fleece.” So what do we mean when we say that Gideon “put out a fleece?” Basically, Gideon was asking for a miracle, a sign from God.
It is sometimes difficult to know what the will of God is.
If you’re struggling to know the will of God in your own life, here are a couple of “tests” that my my husband and I have used over the years to help us discern God’s will.
- The basis for all the decisions that make, the guidance for all the decisions we make should be found in the Bible. God is never going to ask you to do anything that is contrary to His Word. If the decision we’re trying to make does not conflict with God’s Word, we move on to the next step which is to decide to obey God’s voice, regardless of the cost.
- We begin to pray about the decision more intensely, realizing that sometimes, God will ask us to do difficult things and it will require sacrifice on our our part.
More often than not, following God requires that we step out in faith, and that we let go of fear. I love the story of Gideon, because God used Him in such a miraculous way, and we’ll see that again next week as we move into chapter 7.
As you begin to walk more closely with God and to read your Bible more, be listening for that “still, small voice,” because God wants to talk to you. We serve a God who wants to have a personal relationship with you. The more time you spend Him, the more you will see how closely He desires to walk with you.
Walk with God, busy mom! Listen for Him. Dig into His Word—get to know Him better.