Author and Speaker, Heidi St. John

Speaking the Truth in Love

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Are We Living in Babylon?

February 14, 2019OtherHeidi St. John

 

It’s starting to feel like we’re living in Babylon, isn’t it? There is a battle raging in the heavens over our worship, and we’re feeling it more intensely these days.

Of course, the attack against God and God’s people is nothing new—it’s an age-old battle—but the question remains: will we serve the gods of this world or the living God?

Recently, I’ve been thinking about the three young men who refused to bow down to the golden statue of King Nebuchadnezzar. Do you remember the story? It’s recorded in the third chapter of Daniel and is still providing us with lasting lessons about the power of God and our place in His world.

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were subjects in Babylon, but along with Daniel, they were determined only to serve the living God—the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. King Nebuchadnezzar hated them for it, as he wanted their worship. And so, three charges were brought against the young men:

1. They paid no attention to the king and his commands
2. They did not serve the gods of Babylon
3. They refused to worship the golden statue which the king himself had erected.

The penalty for defying the king severe: to be thrown into a fiery furnace. Nebuchadnezzar’s pride was fueling what would turn out to be an epic story of God’s ability to deliver His people.

Quiet your heart with me for a moment and consider the profound courage these three had in responding to the king:

‘Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered King Nebuchadnezzar,
“Your threat means nothing to us. If you throw us in the fire, the God we serve can rescue us from your roaring furnace and anything else you might cook up, O king. But even if he doesn’t, it wouldn’t make a bit of difference, O king. We still wouldn’t serve your gods or worship the gold statue you set up.”
Daniel 3:16-18

Their refusal to worship another god infuriated the king, and he had the furnace heated seven times hotter than normal!

Oh how we need more men and women who will trust God this way! Their unwavering commitment to the God of the Bible showed itself in bold confidence as they did what they knew was right and then trusted that God would take care of them.

Because Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego trusted God, the power of God was revealed to everyone who was there. I can imagine that it astonished unbelievers and reassured those who did believe.

Nebuchadnezzar was astonished that the fire did not consume the men, and even more amazed because he saw not three, but a fourth person in the flames! “Look!” he answered, “I see four men loose, walking in the midst of the fire; and they are not hurt, and the form of the fourth is like the Son of God” (Daniel 3:25).

The Hebrew number for four is Dalet, it means a door. The Bible teaches that Jesus is the Door, the way to our deliverance. We may not always feel the Lord’s presence the Lord when we are suffering, but rest assured: Satan sees the Lord by your side.

He will never leave you or forsake you!

Does your heart need some reassurance today? No matter what you’re facing, you can have confidence that God has the power to affect the outcome. Don’t be afraid! God always shows up. Rarely early, never late.

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The Greatest Parenting Manual in the World!

February 7, 2019Becoming MomStrongHeidi St. John

 

I like manuals. Lucky for me, most things come with one. Your car came with a manual. So did your TV and your Crock-Pot. Last week, I actually bought an eyeliner manual. You know, because, really, I’m just making that up as I go, too.

When it comes to parenting, there are a lot of great books out there. But MomStrong moms are looking for more than advice—we’re looking for wisdom. And God tells us that the beginning of wisdom is found in knowing the Lord (see Psalm 111:10). And the way we find out what God’s character is like is by reading His Word. Every other book out there (including this one) pales in comparison to that singular literary masterpiece. It’s the only book you need. In the early nineties, my husband, Jay, and I participated in a popular parenting class at our church with several other young couples. These were formative years for all of us, and we wanted to get it right.

We all did our best to follow the advice laid out in the book we were studying. It touched on virtually every aspect of parenting: there was a right way and a wrong way to feed babies, and there was a right way and a wrong way to do naptime and bedtime. It really was a formula for parenting. The trouble is, formulaic approaches to parenting don’t usually work, because each child is different. We learned very quickly that what worked for one child didn’t necessarily work for the next one, and so on.

Many of the lessons we learned in the class were excellent, but the hard and fast rules of the program set the stage for what turned into legalistic, performance-based parenting. It was as if there was a competition between the families in the class. Whose kids were the most polite? Which ones came as soon as they heard their names?

One morning in church, I noticed that my kids were arguing over something. Normally I would have just corrected the situation, but in this “parenting competition” I’d placed myself into, the stakes seemed higher. I felt like I had to crack down hard on the infraction. Suddenly, I felt like everyone was watching my children. It didn’t help that I was a pastor’s wife either. Every time the kids disobeyed me in church, I was deeply embarrassed for myself and my apparent lack of parenting know-how.

The comparison trap was stealing the joy from parenting—but worse than that, it had us all focused on a temporary obedience rather than gaining insight into the heart of the issues we were facing with our individual children. That pride and embarrassment put the focus solely on my children’s actions rather than on their hearts.

This is the real danger of formulaic parenting. Formulas tend to make parents believe that correct actions always indicate a contrite heart. Of course, that’s simply not true. A child can be made to sit down on the outside and still be standing on the inside. In the past twenty years, I’ve never met a mom who merely wanted her children to act like good kids. We want more than that for our kids—we want them to be good kids. Unfortunately, performance-based parenting often encourages just that—a performance.

Of course, reading advice from other godly people isn’t bad; we can glean much wisdom from believers who have walked the journey before us. But when we do all our learning from others and forget to spend time with the Lord, we’re in danger of winning the battle and losing the war.

The battles come in the form of everyday issues like getting your kids to put away their toys, sit still at the dinner table, and brush their teeth. But war is different: the stakes are higher. We’re talking about the hearts and minds of our children here—their character, their compassion, their moral foundation, and their capacity to love. The matters of preference are inconsequential; the matters of the heart and soul are eternal. MomStrong moms understand the difference, and while they don’t ignore the battles, they know that their primary focus must be on winning the war. When we stray from the Bible, we are in dangerous spiritual waters. MomStrong moms know the Word, and they respond to today’s challenges with God-centered wisdom. Don’t be deceived: your best defense, your only defense, is the Word.

Of course, we can’t give our kids what we don’t have. If you aren’t in the Word for yourself, you need to be—for your own sake as well as for the sake of your children. God offers a promise for those who seek wisdom: those who seek wisdom will find it. The war may feel long and fierce, but we don’t have to go it alone.

Becoming MomStrong means digging into God’s Word for answers to the daily challenges you and your family face. If you’ve never done that before, I encourage you to do something that took me years to do—be intentional about making time to read the Bible each day, even if it’s only a little bit at once.

It’s okay to start small. Commit to reading the Bible for just ten minutes each morning, and you’ll be amazed at what you’ll learn about the character of God and His heart for this hurting world. You’ll also see that God has set standards in place since the creation of the world. His law is as steadfast as the rule of gravity—and things go better when we obey, just as they do when we respect the laws that govern the physical world.

If you’re struggling with one of your children or with a situation one of your children is facing, it’s time to get on your knees and ask God for unique wisdom and perspective. God knows exactly what’s going on, and He can give you the wisdom you need. Isn’t that amazing? It’s one of the reasons we have hope as Christian moms. Instead of facing all the challenges and changes of motherhood on our own, we have the Creator Himself walking alongside us.

Parenting is a tough job, but thank God, we don’t have to rely on our own wisdom. God has already given us the best parenting manual in the world—His Word. The more we teach our children to “follow in the ways of the Lord,” the better equipped they will be to face the challenges ahead and “be successful in all [they] do and wherever [they go]” (1 Kings 2:3-4).

Adapted from Becoming MomStrong: How to Fight with All That’s in You for Your Family and Your Faith by Heidi St. John.

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When You’re Wrecked By Bad Religion

February 5, 2019MomStrong Sisterhood, OtherHeidi St. John

 

I had my friend, Kendra Fletcher on the podcast recently, and I want you to hear more of her message.  I always say that legalism is taking your conviction and putting it on someone else.  But legalism robs our joy.  There is freedom when we walk away from legalism, friends, and Kendra has learned it firsthand.

xo, Heidi  


On the edge of a swimming pool, legs dangling and dipping into cool water up to our knees, sun beating relentlessly on our bare shoulders, kids splashing and yelling and whooping and hollering, she sighed, raised her hand to shade her squinting eyes, and then quietly confessed to me, “I’m done with the church.”

I wish I’d been shocked or even remotely surprised, but I’d heard this one before. I’d had the same sentiment expressed to me by frustrated teenagers, jaded young adults, homemakers, white-collar workers, plumbers, and pastors. So many people hurting, and so many willing to walk away from a community that was supposed to love them like Jesus. Those churches didn’t love them like Jesus; they tried to be Jesus. And down that misguided path lay the wreckage of its wake.

The damage cuts way down deep.

While there are so many things to sort through when we’re leaving bad religion, one of the most difficult things about being a recovering member of a rigid, our-way-is-the-right-and-only-way, legalistic church is the response we get from people who didn’t know us when we were a part of those communities and who learn our stories after the fact.

“What? Really? That seems so crazy!”

And it is. But harder than responding to their disbelief is the fact that most of us simply feel foolish. A response of incredulity always makes me feel as if the other person thinks I must be a moron; I mean, how can an otherwise seemingly intelligent adult fall prey to such extremism?

I haven’t done an extensive period of research into the psychology of why and how people join legalistic communities, but I know this: It likely isn’t their intelligence that is driving their choices.

More often than not, it is a felt need that makes us join in, whether slowly like the proverbial frog in the kettle or a quick noisy splash straight into the deep end. For us, it was a progression driven by our fear and pride.

Parenting lit a fire underneath us that caused us to stop focusing on the source of our hope (God) and start looking around for methods and theories and promises to feed our fears. If you’ve ever parented anyone, you likely understand the fear. Add to our anxiety that we were going to royally mess up our kids was our pride; we were going to do it right, and we would only listen to the voices that told us exactly how to do it right.

It might not have been parenting that drove my friend at the swimming pool to embrace a legalistic church. Just as there is infinite variety in humanity, there are a thousand other catalysts that combine to create the perfect storm in the life of someone who finds his or herself eventually the victim of the spiritual abuse that invariably accompanies bad religion. When we’ve been wrecked by it, we find ourselves gutted and hopeless.

I did, too. But I have a hope that spurs me to believe that there is healing for even the deepest recesses of our pain. Have you lost that hope? Leaving legalism is a watershed event that can either cause us to run as far and fast from Christ and His followers as possible, or drive us right into the sheltering, loving, merciful, accepting arms of the One who created us to be free.

I believe, wholeheartedly, that we can heal. I believe that we can learn, once again, to love God, others, and even ourselves. That’s the beautiful conclusion to leaving legalism. We can run from bad religion, but we can find freedom and hope in the arms of the living God.

Kendra Fletcher is a mother of 8, speaker, author, and podcaster. She is the author of Lost and Found: Losing Religion, Finding Grace, and Leaving Legalism, and she regularly writes for Key Life Ministries. The Fletchers reside in California, where they play in the Pacific Ocean as often as possible. Find Kendra on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram.
 
Find Kendra’s book here! Leaving Legalism: Learning to Love God, Others, and Yourself Again
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Trans Activists Target Children in Public Libraries

February 4, 2019Current EventsHeidi St. John

 

What do drag queens and children have in common?

Nothing.

But that’s not stopping public libraries across the United States from hosting “Drag Queen Story Hour” (DQSH), an organization whose stated goal is the promotion of “gender fluidity” to children. Like it or not, your public library may soon be asking men in drag to talk to children about homosexuality and make sure your child knows he or she can “imagine a world where people can present as they wish, where dress up is real.”

Dress up isn’t real, of course. And neither is “gender fluidity.” It’s made up, just like a fairy-tale, with no real science to back it up—but drag queens like “Annie Christ” who performs in lewd, sexually charged nightclub shows, was invited to read to children at the Lansdale (Pennsylvania) Library despite pleas from concerned residents.


As a mother of seven, and grandmother, I can attest to the vulnerability of children—and DQSH seeks to capitalize on that vulnerability. In fact, DQSH is asking us to do more than host an hour where gay men dressed as women talk to children about sex, they’re asking us to set our most basic instincts about life aside. They’re hoping we’ll stare blankly at each other, wonder how we got here and then – just stay out of their way.

Recently, I posted a warning to parents in my city of Vancouver, Washington – the latest city to surrender its dignity to men in drag. “Why would we expose our kids to topics of this nature?” I asked. “Why not bring in firefighters or scientists to read to them?” The response was swift and severe. “You’re a hate-filled, ignorant woman!”, one reader screamed. “You’re the reason trans kids kill themselves!”, yelled another.

No, I’m not the reason this is happening. The reason this is happening is hidden in plain sight: somewhere along the line, we decided that love can exist apart from truth. It can’t of course. Real love requires truth. And the truth is that men cannot turn into women, no matter how much makeup they put on, no matter how many hormones they take, or how many surgeries they have.

When did we decide to stop telling the truth?

Physicians are also afraid to speak the truth about transgenderism, and with good reason. One doctor recently said, “no one is free to dissent without being punished. Such punishments range from being “passed over for promotions” to “demoted from Chairmanship positions” to suffering “loss of research funding” and being subject to “severe harassment by peers [and] death threats from activists.” (Link here)

Recently, a long-time public school teacher in Oregon told me that her peers were terrified of speaking out against transgenderism and gender dysphoria – even to other educators. They’re routinely bullied by transgendered or homosexual students, who have been given unprecedented authority in the schools. Don’t believe me? Ask a teacher. If you offer another view (other than pro-trans) to your student – you will likely face a lawsuit in our new, tolerant society. And just in case you’re curious, thirty years of excellence in teaching won’t help you when the ACLU comes for your job.

No wonder our schools are in chaos. The transgender community does not want “tolerance.” They want total capitulation, total surrender.  What teacher wants to lose their job to protect a child? What library employee is willing to get fired when retirement is just a few years away? The answer is simple: fewer and fewer each year.

Fear is a powerful weapon, and trans activists are wielding it masterfully.

It’s a sad time to be a child in the United States. More and more children are at risk for a new phenomenon that has been recently labeled: “Rapid-Onset Gender Dysphoria.” Young, impressionable children, many of whom may be struggling with social or emotional issues, are easy targets for the trans community, who promote transgenderism, with its hormone blockers and “confirmation” surgeries as soul-satisfying solutions to their pain.

The trans community and those who are making millions on their “confirmation” surgeries want the rest of us to shut up and give them unfettered access to our children.

“Let the drag queens come to the libraries,” they say. “It’s about love,” they tell us, while a generation of children become pawns in a push to validate the pseudo-science of gender fluidity.

“We’re not hurting anyone, we’re having fun,” they say.  This isn’t innocent fun. It’s the blatant targeting of children.  DQSH seeks to promote a dangerous and high-risk lifestyle. Drag queens in libraries actively push adult sexuality on innocent and vulnerable children. This is NOT just harmless fun. It is deliberate activism that should not be promoted with taxpayer dollars.

They’re hoping we’ll push our protective, basic biological instincts aside and applaud as parents allow their “drag kids” to perform at gay clubs where grown men will watch them dance for money.

We used to call that child-abuse. But here, in our alternate reality, we call it “progress.”  Science doesn’t matter, facts don’t matter, and outcomes don’t matter either.

And speaking of outcomes, the increasing number of stories that are surfacing from families of transgendered kids who have been permanently disfigured and emotionally devastated by the lie of transgenderism – should be a wake-up call for parents and physicians.

It should be.

 A few years from now, when these “gender fluid” children have forfeited the ability to procreate, thereby shattering a beautiful dream that only their future, grown-up minds could fathom, I wonder where the drag queens will be? Something tells me they won’t stick around to pick up the pieces.

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When Good Moms Burn Out

January 31, 2019Becoming MomStrongHeidi St. John

 

Have you ever seen what happens to sleep-deprived drivers? They get into accidents. The same rule applies to motherhood: tired moms are prime candidates for burnout. Have you ever been done? You know, done, as in do-your-own-laundry-and-find-your-own-food kind of done? Me too. When I’m tired, here’s what happens:

I tend to avoid reading my Bible.
My house turns into a 24/7 movie theater (aka “video babysitter”).
Homework doesn’t get done.
Laundry piles up.
The slow cooker gets dusty.
The kids don’t get disciplined (just telling the truth here, people).
School doesn’t happen.
I stop shaving my legs. And showering.

And I don’t care. About any of it. When I’m near burning out, I tend to check out. I’m guessing that if we were having a tall pumpkin spice latte together right now, you’d be high-fiving me. Why? Because we’ve all been there.

Here’s the thing: the key word in burnout is burn. Burnout happens when we focus for too long on the wrong things, such as keeping up with the Joneses or saying yes when we should say no. We have to stay on top of these little flare-ups before they turn into full-blown brush fires. And it’s not just our individual homes and families we need to be concerned about. Look around: the entire battlefield is ablaze right now. Our kids can’t afford to have moms who are burned out and checked out. They need us to be all in.

God has given this generation of moms a special challenge: to train future warriors for the spiritual battle that’s unfolding around us. God is asking today’s mothers to be strong in the midst of an incredibly powerful cultural shift away from the truth of God’s Word.

It’s an awesome responsibility, and in all honesty, it’s daunting. Christian parents have the privilege and responsibility of teaching their children what it means to be strong in the Lord and in the power of His strength. The devil knows this. He knows that if the mothers of this generation are too exhausted to fight, they’ll be tempted to give up. Tired parents have a tendency to look for ways to relieve the stress of parenting by relegating their sacred calling to pastors and teachers. Simply put, when the going gets tough, many moms are checking out.

But MomStrong moms don’t check out. They check in—all in. One hundred percent!

Being all in starts with a personal commitment to recognize Jesus Christ as our source of strength. MomStrong moms need to prioritize their relationship with the living God in the same way they prioritize every other life-giving aspect of their lives. Think about it—just one day without water leads to dehydration. Well, our souls are no different. That’s why we can’t afford to go a single day without connecting with the Lord, either through His Word or in prayer. Doing so puts us at risk for spiritual dehydration.

One of my favorite verses is Isaiah 40:31: “Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Read that again. Now one more time. (It’s okay—I’ll wait. This is important.)

The prophet is pointing us to the source of all strength: the Lord! He’s reminding us that it is the Lord who renews our strength. Do you want to run and not grow weary? Drink from the living water! We were born to thirst for our Creator. Without coming to Him daily, we’ll eventually find ourselves weary, weak, and discouraged.

It’s no wonder the enemy is working overtime to discourage and deplete moms. Think of it this way: a mom who is too tired to pray and read her Bible is no real threat to the devil. A tired mom is more likely to let the Internet parent her children. She’s apt to miss the subtle signs of a child whose heart is far from the Lord. A tired mom is less likely to spend time with God, and without filling up at the source, she runs on empty.

Trust me, I’ve been there. You start out fresh and energized. You have everything under control. You nap when Baby naps. Friends bring you pre-made dinners so you don’t have to cook. Mothers-in-law stop by to help with laundry. You schedule date nights with your spouse. You might even arrange a spa day for yourself every couple of weeks. After all, there’s almost always a friend or a family member who can fill in for you for the afternoon. But then one kid turns into two (or three or seven) and all of a sudden, you’re in full-on mom mode.

In a blink, your life is nothing but carpools and Crock-Pots, from the moment you wake up until you lay your head down again at night. Date nights vanish. Sitters become harder (and more expensive) to find. Laundry piles up. And before you know it, you’re eating leftover tuna casserole three days in a row and wondering when you last washed your own hair.

Let’s face it: busy doesn’t even begin to describe most moms today. We’re often too distracted to even ask God for help with our daily challenges. And Satan loves it when we’re too busy to pray. Why? Because a mom who is too busy to seek the Lord in prayer is easy prey for the devil! Peter warns that our enemy is like a “roaring lion” (1 Peter 5:8). And this lion knows exactly how to get to the heart of a weary mom and drag her into the brush.

But consider this, precious mom: in the midst of all the Crock-Pots, curriculum, and carpools, God wants to be your shelter. He wants to give you refuge from the chaos of the day. Take a drink of living water every morning, and stay in tune with the Spirit throughout the day by praying and listening for that still, small voice. Yours is an awesome responsibility, so don’t be afraid to go directly to the Lord when you need help. Share your challenges with Him, day and night, and let Him be your shelter. He is listening. He always will be.

Adapted from Becoming MomStrong: How to Fight with All That’s in You for Your Family and Your Faith by Heidi St. John.

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Don’t Be Afraid. God Always Shows Up

January 17, 2019Becoming MomStrongHeidi St. John

 

Of all the wonderful stories in the Bible, the story of David and Goliath remains one of my favorites. Just imagining this young boy loading a small stone into a slingshot and stepping onto the battlefield in the name of the Lord strengthens my own resolve to be courageous.

The reality is that we all face different kinds of giants in our lives. The question isn’t whether they’ll show up; it’s whether we’ll have the courage to load our own stones into our own slingshots when the time comes.

Several years ago, I decided it was time to face a huge giant in my life. That giant’s name was Fear. For me, facing this giant meant risking my reputation as a “put-together” mom, author, and speaker by sharing one of my most personal struggles: the childhood trauma I faced, along with the years of crippling anxiety I experienced as a result.

I’ll never forget the first time I stepped onstage with the intention of telling the truth about this tender part of my life. I knew God had asked me to address the very real problem of domestic abuse within the church while speaking to a group of homeschooling women. The only way to do it with authority was to be honest about the abuse I’d experienced growing up.

I prayed for weeks in advance about what I’d say, and every time I even thought about it, Fear (and his henchman, Adrenaline) would hijack my mind and my body. My hands got clammy, my heart raced, and my anxiety soared. But all the while, God was teaching me to recognize the spirit of fear and reminding me to remain in Him.

The day I took the stage to share what had previously been known only to close friends and family, it felt very much like I was picking up a stone and chucking it with all my strength at the giant that had held me hostage most of my adult life. Sometimes the only way to do something is to do it afraid.

Do you know what happened when I took aim at that giant? God showed up. When I obeyed the Lord, something miraculous happened: He began to set me free. As I testified to God’s unfailing love in the middle of my trials, I saw tears rolling down the faces of many of the women in the audience. The response was overwhelming.

That day I learned that the devil doesn’t want us to share our struggles. He wants us to feel that we’re all alone. Isn’t that what the devil does best? He tries to keep us from knowing the truth. To my surprise, I was learning that I was far from alone in my struggle. God wanted to use my story, including the broken parts, even as I was still finding my own healing.

We all have different fears we battle against. But one common characteristic about most fears is that they stem from the lies we believe. Maybe Satan has whispered some of these lies into your ears at some point:

You’re not strong enough.
Your past has determined your future.
Everything depends on you.
You’ve failed too many times.
You can’t do this right.
You’re screwing up your kids.
Everyone else’s kids are doing better than yours.

When I say these statements out loud, I know they’re lies, but somehow in the quiet of my heart, they sound different. They sound believable.

As a young mother, I struggled to differentiate between the voice of the enemy and my own insecurities. I had grown up hearing stories about the lineup of courageous people of the Bible. I knew all about Joshua and the battle of Jericho, I could tell you all the ways Mary was brave, and I could quote a whole bunch of verses about faith—but it was just “Christianese.” I knew the stories of courage, but I couldn’t translate them into power for my own life.

Can you relate? We need a giant-sized slingshot to face the giants in our own lives. Thankfully, God supplies slingshots when we ask Him to. He’s good like that.

I know all this talk of courage can sound kind of cliché, so let me unpack it for you just a little. MomStrong moms recognize that courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s the decision to act in the face of fear. When we face our fears in faith, what we’re really doing is allowing the Holy Spirit to be who He says He is: bigger than our fear.

When we pick up our slingshots and take aim at our giants through the power of the Holy Spirit, our aim will be sure. Fear is no match for the Lord of heaven’s armies. According to the Bible, God is pretty good at helping amateurs like David to make their aim count. It took only one stone to take down the giant Philistine.

The same is true for us. When our trust is in the Lord, courage finds its feet. My grandmother once said, “God is faithful, or He isn’t. He’s good, or He isn’t.” There’s no such thing as halfhearted faith—we need to go all in. The way we respond to trials is our opportunity to put feet to our faith.

If you’re struggling to find courage in the midst of a battle, it’s okay. Our faithful God knows every part of you. He sees every hurt and knows every detail of the fears you’re facing. MomStrong moms have uncommon courage, because their courage comes from God Himself. Where God’s love is found, His courage is not far behind, because the Word tells us that perfect love drives out fear (see 1 John 4:18). Uncommon courage is God’s gift to every fearful mom who decides she can take Him at His word, not matter what she is facing. Watch and see—He will prove Himself faithful.

Adapted from Becoming MomStrong: How to Fight with All That’s in You for Your Family and Your Faith by Heidi St. John.

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When Your Best Laid Plans Fail

January 10, 2019Becoming MomStrongHeidi St. John

 

When it comes to making plans, I am second to . . . well, just One. Planning is in my DNA. I am a list maker and a lover of all things calendar-related. Just give me an idea and a deadline, and I’ll make it happen—that is, if only the universe would cooperate! I shudder to think of the thousands of my perfectly laid plans that have been completely derailed by everything from forgetting to plug in the slow cooker to getting in a fender bender on the way to the store.

The truth is, we can’t plan for everything. And perhaps more to the point, no one ever plans for a crisis. We don’t pencil-in “crisis” on the third Monday of the month. And yet, without fail, with the bases loaded and two minutes left, the phone rings, and voilà—you have a sick kid, someone has lost their job, a friend has devastating news.

This is where courage needs to step up to the plate.

The Bible says that we can make our plans, but ultimately the Lord determines our steps (see Proverbs 16:9). And some of those steps can be pretty painful to take. In my twenty-six years of mothering, I have lost a baby to miscarriage and wept beside the casket of a dear friend’s stillborn daughter. We don’t always get to choose what happens to the babies we carry so carefully inside us. We can’t always predict what a day will bring. But we are guaranteed of this: God will never leave us or forsake us. Ever.

And oh, how we need Him! God is the one who brings courage from the chaos and peace to the broken places in our hearts. Without the courage that comes from God, the spirit of fear can settle into the unseen places of a mother’s soul. So stay close to Him, precious mom! Get to know His Word. Memorize His promises. Don’t let that fear take root.

Every mom can identify with fear, but every mom can also identify with the antidote to fear we’ve been given. From the moment we know we’re bringing a new life into the world, something miraculous—even sacred—awakens in the heart of a mother: courage.

It takes courage to be a mother. Unplanned C-sections, unexpected diagnoses, illnesses, sibling rivalry, bad attitudes, and strong-willed children test the courage and resolve of every mother. But God uses all of these circumstances to help make us into the mothers He wants us to be.

I know it’s true, because this business of shaping little hearts is also shaping mine. Motherhood has exposed weaknesses in me I never knew I had, it has driven me to the limits of what I thought I could do, and it has filled my heart with hopes and dreams I never imagined for a future I can only entrust to God. There’s no doubt about it: becoming a mother changes everything. And even twenty-six years in, I’m finding I need fresh courage on a daily basis.

Let’s face it: this isn’t our grandparents’ generation. Choosing a Christ-centered life in a culture that rejects Christ is challenging the courage of many believers today. We are parenting in a generation in which fear is a driving force in our decisions. Standing for what the Bible says about marriage and human sexuality is growing increasingly unpopular as our culture moves away from the truth and toward moral relativism. As a result, Christian mothers today have to do something the previous three generations haven’t had to worry about: we’re preparing our kids to face rejection.

It takes courage to stand for the Lord in the face of rejection, but stand we must. The next time your children tell you they have been mocked or labeled for their faith or beliefs, remember that at the moment of our salvation, God Himself gave us an even more powerful label. We wear the label redeemed, and no one can relabel us! We are forever accepted by God.

If you’re struggling to find courage in the face of being rejected, look up—and point your children’s gaze to Jesus as you do. Courage is found where acceptance abounds: in Christ. MomStrong moms know who they are in Christ, and they refuse to allow the devil to lie to them. They rise to the challenge of the culture and, in the process, shape the hearts and minds of their children for the glory of God.

Yes, we are living in challenging times, but like Joshua, we have been called to “be strong and courageous.” This is an exciting time to be a Christian, because when faith finds its feet in this generation of parents and their children, we are going to see amazing things happen in the lives of God’s people.

Adapted from Becoming MomStrong: How to Fight with All That’s in You for Your Family and Your Faith by Heidi St. John.

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