Tag Archives: preschoolers

Homeschooling With Toddlers: Finding Your Way Without Losing Your Mind (or Joy!)

Ahhh, toddlers.  Gotta love ’em. I have been homeschooling successfully with toddlers for many years. Or not!

You know me, I like to keep things real.  And in the interest in being perfectly honest, let me just start by saying I’ve tried everything I know how to try and nothing is ever foolproof.  Nothing works all the time. Real-life isn’t like Pinterest.

Here’s the big thing I’ve learned though.  Are you ready? The best thing I can do for myself and my toddlers is to appreciate them. I have lots of fun toddler stories but one of my favorites is from 1998, the first year we were homeschooling. I was still in “let’s see if I can really do this” mode and I was very serious about it all.  One cold winter morning as I was teaching Sierra from our favorite book on reading “Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons,” I noticed that I had not heard from the toddler in some time.

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Giving Our Kids the Gift of Boredom!

I can hear them now as my hubby and I wash up after dinner.  They are running around, enjoying the respite from our intense desert sun while they soak up that important time outside.  One boy runs inside to inform me that he’s discovered a new path.  Really it is just a long stretch of space behind a line of bushes.  But in his mind, it is ripe with mystery and opportunity.  He grabs at my hand, begging me to explore this path with him.  I arrive in time for a lizard funeral as boys relay their attempt to rescue this scaly creature from a bird.  In the span of 2 minutes, we’ve discussed funeral practices, heaven, predator/prey relationships, and compassion.  And I didn’t have to plan a thing.

Giving our kids the gift of time - a better way of staying busy...

Ahhh, the lazy days of summer – when kids run wild – exploring, building forts, climbing trees, forming clubs, reading books.  Well, that’s the way it used to be anyways.

These days we are all about programs and bucket lists…

And if we aren’t keeping our kids busy and occupied with these than we give them our ipads, smartphones or some other kind of screen to keep them occupied.

But what if we did something drastic and returned to the good ol’ days, the lazy days of summer?  What if we embraced the value of time – time to be bored – knowing that we are allowing their imagination, their curiosity, their ingenuity to develop?

They say that “necessity is the mother of invention,” but I’d venture to add that a bit of boredom accomplishes this too!  It takes skill to know what to do with oneself.  If we remove distractions and take the time to provide these opportunities, think of what a gift we can give them.    And while we are at it, we can unplug and just be as well.  We can be present – enter into their worlds, bring them into ours.  We can read, talk, bake, and explore free from the confines of “busyness.”  Our culture has idolized the concept of being busy and redefined what that looks like.  It is program focused, instead of people focused.  And all too often it leaves us frantic, disconnected, and unable to just be there for the little things in life.  Life is busy, but let’s take a look at what we are busy doing and then help our children learn how to constructively occupy their own time without always doing it for them.  Because these are the moments when most of life’s lessons are learned.  It’s nearly impossible to plan for; we simply need to be available.

So how do we embrace this kind of “time?”  I’m sharing a few ideas about how to embrace boredom in a way that cultivates creativity over at my blog, Cultivated Lives.

Heather.


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The Day I Had to Redefine My Weakness

Twenty-five years ago today, I was getting ready to have my first baby.

For two weeks, I’d been walking around Portland, 80% effaced and 4cm. No one seemed bothered by my 5’7 frame, waddling around the mall, trying to kickstart labor. No one seemed worried that I was a ticking pregnant time bomb, about to embark on a journey I felt utterly unprepared to take.

After all, everyone in my family knew I could not keep houseplants alive—and here I was, about to be responsible for another living human being.

My anxiety reached a boiling point when I was in my 38th week of pregnancy. Jay and I had just finished our last childbirth education class. You know—the one where they tell you that if you breathe right it won’t hurt. That one.

Our last class was over. We were as ready as we were going to be.

Bring it.

One by one, the women got up to leave, passing Nola on the way to the door. Nola was our childbirth educator. She hugged the sweet mamas and kissed their tummies as they left. She high-fived the dads and walked them to the door of her home. We liked Nola. We knew her from church, and the past few weeks had given me confidence that she was someone I could be real with. I waited until there was no one left in the room before I made eye contact with her.

When she sat down next to me, I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I began to cry as I stared at my ridiculously oversized belly. “I’m afraid! I can’t do this!” I sobbed. Nola’s eyes were soft and comforting. “You are going to be fine,” she said quietly. “Your body was made for this.” Of course, she had no idea that the process of childbirth was not what I was afraid of.

My fears were much farther reaching. They threatened our future as a family and robbed me of peace. My father’s profound disappointment in who I was had shaped how I saw myself: destined to fail.

I felt weak. I feared I could not be the kind of mom I wanted to be. I feared I was destined to give my child the same upbringing I had. I feared I would lose my temper, even to the point of injuring this precious one I carried in me. I feared my baby would grow to fear me as I feared my father. I was almost desperate for someone else to be this baby’s mom.

The words just kept coming. I could not stop sobbing. There it was. My weakness was exposed, out there for everyone to see. Out in front of the curtain. And then—it happened.

God met me. There, in my weakness, He met me.

Nola laid her hands on my belly and looked softly at me. Her heart seemed to ache with mine.

“Oh Heidi!” she said. “Don’t you know who you are? You are NEW! God has made you new! You are a new creation and your baby is the beginning of the healing that is coming if you will let God in to the deep places in your heart. Do you trust Him? Do you believe it?”

I wanted to believe it. I was desperate for God. I cried out to Him, aware that something inside of me was beginning to break free. In that moment, when I let just one other person see the woman behind the curtain, God began a healing in my life that still continues today. Many years have passed since that moment, but I know my life took a turn that evening. I didn’t understand what Nola meant then but I knew I needed to cling to Jesus. If I was going to be strong, I needed to accept my weakness as opportunity to find God’s strength. I needed that strength to invade my heart, to comfort and heal me.

Are you there?  Desperate to name your weakness so God can meet you in it? He’s waiting. weakness-heidistjohn

How to Clean a Child’s Bedroom Without Losing Your Mind

The never ending chore of keeping the bedrooms clean can cause a fair amount of tension if we choose to let it.  I’m not a mother who requires that bedrooms get picked up every day, because imaginary play often goes on from one day to the next, and I hate to squelch it.  That said, there are plenty of things that can be handled consistently to help keep a bedroom under control.  But eventually, it all needs to get cleaned up so we can vacuum or sweep… at least once or twice a year!  :blushing:  This task can be overwhelming for a child, and we need to be understanding about that.  Considering the number of decisions required to put away 9,743 objects in an hour, we should have some compassion.  Here are a few tips to help it be a manageable – and hopefully successful – task!

clean-childs-bedroom

  1. Make it clean-able.  Sometimes there’s just too much stuff to even be able to have it put away.  Maybe it’s a small bedroom or there aren’t enough places to put things.  Fix that!  Declutter, pass on some toys, buy storage solutions, etc.  A room full of things with no place to belong will be a constant frustration for you and your child.
  2. Have one container for “all the little things that feel like they should get thrown away but your child sees value in them.”  Yeah. Those things that you want to pitch while they’re not watching?  Chances are good that they’ll notice. (Ask me how I know.)  We use an under-bed container for these things: random flashlight, receipt, Chick Fil A toy, etc.  Anything that isn’t a group deserving of its own storage goes in this miscellaneous container, and it’s so appropriate to tuck it under the bed! Most of this stuff lives on the floor, so it’s really easy to put it away here.  🙂
  3. Pick up everything and put it in one pile.  This is hands down, my best tip.  Pick up everything – EveRYthInG – and put it into one pile. On the bed, center of the floor, or wherever you choose. (We choose center of the floor because we can sweep it there easily!)  It automatically eliminates the visual clutter that can be overwhelming to children, especially younger ones.
  4. After everything is in one pile, we pull stuff from that pile in categories.  (Make a list of the order in which you suggest they do things if you are teaching them to do this independently.) Shoes are easy to start with because they usually all go in the same place, so it’s easy and quick success.  Clothes next because they are a big part of the pile.  Then the pile is usually manageable after those two categories. After that, just take one item at a time.
  5. Don’t rant while they’re cleaning or you’re cleaning with them.  (How would I know this is a temptation?)  It will make only serve to make the experience miserable for you both and make them feel like a failure.  Turn on some music to keep the mood light if you need some help. 🙂
  6. Be willing to help while they clean.  This may look like picking up and putting away while they work alongside you.  Maybe it’s in the form of company and reading aloud while they work.  Maybe it’s frequent checking in and encouraging.  There are a lot of ways to help, and the younger the child is, the more involved you will likely need to be.  But regardless of the age of the child, encouragement will go a long way!

You can do this, Busy Mom!

Do you have tips to share that simplify this task at your house?

Printable Autumn Activity Pages

Autumn Activity Pages The Busy Mom (1)

I love a good season-themed activity pack to give my two youngest. This month I created this cute printable pack that my almost-four-year-old and six-year-old can both enjoy!

In the pack you will find the following fun activities:

  • Trace the line
  • Memory Game
  • Do the Math!
  • Number Practice (1-20)
  • Letter Practice (Upper-case and Lower-case)
  • Do-A-Dot Fun
  • Size Sorting
  • Coloring Sheets

What you will need to have on hand:

  • Crayons or Markers
  • Do-A-Dot Markers
  • Cardstock (if you prefer to print for durability)
  • A Printer
  • Paper

To download the Autumn Activity Pages click HERE.

Autumn Activity Pages The Busy Mom (2)

Dear Mom Who Isn’t Feeling Very Positive About Another Positive Pregnancy Test

What you are doing is worth it, precious mother!

I’lll never forget the moment when I learned I was pregnant with my fifth child. Yes. We knew how “that” happened—but this, this was not in our plans. I stared at that pregnancy test in disbelief. Surely the Lord saw where we were financially! Surely He knew how overwhelmed I felt already, how inadequate.

Another baby meant we would have to step up to the next size car and it meant people would start staring at us in Costco.  I’m ashamed to admit that I was embarrassed by my fifth pregnancy. I wasn’t thinking of the blessing—I was thinking of the burden. I was worried about what other people would think.

I wasn’t sure I had the energy for another baby—and I since I was struggling with the four children I already had, I knew for sure I didn’t have the patience. Can you relate?

It’s a good thing God’s strength is found in weakness. He met me there in my weakness, a sobbing, hormonal mess on my bedroom floor. I cried out to Him—literally—and He met me there. Just like He will meet you.

My fifth baby is now a wonderful, twelve year old blessing. God used our fifth child to teach me new things about His unfailing love and provision.  God’s ways are so counter to the culture! Embracing God’s promises brings life.

We now have seven children and two grandsons (our second grandson is due in December!) My child-bearing years are over. As I look back over those busy, busy years, my heart is filled with gratitude.  I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to have seven children under our roof at one time. I’m glad I got over being stared at in Costco. And I’m glad God’s mercies really are new every morning.

Believe God’s Word, precious mom. Your children are God’s gracious gift to you, whether you “planned” them or not.

What I’ve Learned as a Rookie Homeschooler

15 math lessons. 13 reading lessons.  I can hardly believe it.  We’re almost done!  If we go with the sports language, I have almost completed my rookie season of homeschooling.  Rookie year is a wild ride folks.  At least it has been for me.  In September of last year, I sat down one Monday morning with my little people at our awesome little desks in the corner of our living room, with some pretty awesome plans for our year.  I was gonna rock this.  We did some preschool, and I mean, all my sisters homeschool, so it’s not like I haven’t seen it done.  Piece of cake, right?  Ha!  Just like almost every other area of being a momma, this new role of mine has brought me to my knees an awful lot this year.

a-pile-of-color

I wouldn’t change it for the world, but I’m looking forward to next year even more and the chance to put to use a few of the things I’ve learned along the way this year.

  1. Have a plan. ~ We have had good school weeks, and we have had rough school weeks.  I would say 80% of our rough school weeks start out as my fault.  You know the ones. The weeks when it’s Tuesday afternoon and those books you needed to pick up from the library so you could do science this week are still sitting on their hold shelf, and tomorrow is a full day already, so it’s not looking hopeful! (Or maybe you don’t, in which case you should be the one writing this post!)  The weeks when I am ill prepared to teach these little people of mine are fertile ground for feelings of condemnation and failure, frustration with myself, and poor behavior from my children as I’m trying last minute to print worksheets or find that game I told them we would play.  It’s also the prime time for my printer to decide it hates me, which only escalates my frustration. (Just ask my husband.)  Having papers printed, supplies purchased, and at least a loose plan for the week written down is, for me, most certainly the wise way to approach our school.
  2. Be willing to flex from the plan. ~ Then there is the other side of the coin.  A plan is just that, a plan.  It’s been easy for me to write off the school day when somebody wakes up with a tummy bug for the 5th time, or when the baby has pneumonia for the 3rd time, or when Mommy was at the hospital until 3am with a friend having surgery. (Yes, all these and more have happened in our house this year – craziness.) But what about when you’re halfway through math, and the tensions are rising, or when somebody is misbehaving and being disrespectful during reading?  These situations don’t feel quite as “easy” to put down the school books and really address the heart problems.  Theirs and MINE.  Oh, mine, sweet goodness.  At the end of the day, will He be more glorified if I have allowed disobedience or have trampled on my 6 year old’s heart for the sake of completing a math lesson on time?  I firmly believe that answer is a NO.  This is one of the primary reasons I am homeschooling. To be available and present to address all these heart issues when they happen.  Sometimes that means that lessons are completed later, after heart issues are worked out. Sometimes it means that schoolbooks are shelved until the next day, and we go to the park together to play and love our way back to each other.
  3. Learn about THEM. ~ One evening a few months ago, my daughter was “quizzing” her older brother on some math questions.  At one point, there was a question he didn’t get right away.  I looked over as he covered his eyes with his hands for a bit, then his eyes popped open and with no doubt at all, he yelled the right answer to her.  When I asked him what he was doing with his eyes covered, he told me “Well when I close my eyes I can see my number line, so then I do it just like I do in my book.” Well ok then!  Apparently I have a visual learner on my hands.  This has been helpful as our year has continued, and I can help him use this to his advantage.  I’m so grateful I caught that happening, and have been able to adjust my teaching to this part of my little man.
  4. It’s OK, and GOOD to say NO! ~ This one is fairly simple!  I am not good at saying no. There have been a number of playdates, appointments, requests for help from friends, and other things that have at times interfered with our school days.  Sometimes, this is just fine!  This is an advantage of homeschooling after all.  We’re allowed to have a playdate at 10am when we want to!  It’s awesome.  But there have been other times when I know I should be saying no, but it just doesn’t feel like doing school is a “good enough” reason to do so!  This is just not true.  “We have to do school at that time” is a perfectly good reason to not be available!  I have a responsibility to my children to teach them, and that is one of my primary roles right now.  I am doing them a disservice if I frequently make the needs of others higher than the needs of my children. Thankfully there is no right or wrong for these scenarios, just the need to have wisdom and to walk confidently in what I know is best for our family.
  5. I can’t do this. ~ Wait, what?  You read correctly.  I can’t.  There is no way this momma can homeschool well, cook well, clean, parent the toddler and preschooler, be a friend, go to work, and do all the other things required of me.  Not in my own strength.  There is nothing in ME that is good enough to do all these things.  Thankfully, I don’t have to be good enough!  Because God has given me all that I need in Himself to be the mom, teacher, wife, employee and friend that He has called me to be.  Thank goodness for this.  On our hardest days, this is what I cling to.  Because when I think I am enough, it goes downhill fairly quickly.  Being well aware of my weaknesses is what allows me to be well aware of HIS strength.

What about you?  Are you a new homeschooler?  What are a few things you’ve learned along the way?