Tag Archives: faith – not formula

Faith vs Formula

Good morning busy moms! You’ve made it to Wednesday! *Elmo says: “I’m proud of you!* 🙂 Today, I feel like the Little Engine that Could 🙂 Can you relate?

I’ve been thinking about something lately, and here’s the deal: I’m not gonna lie to you (I’m no good at it anyway.)

I know many wish that there was a formula for homeschooling or parenting that would produce the perfect result.

There isn’t.

There’s only faith.

I read yet another blog post yesterday from a young woman who grew up in a harsh environment and now blames her parents. 🙁 And I don’t know, maybe they were to blame.

But my hunch is that they were just two people who really did want to be the best parents they could be. My hunch is that that desire drew them into a formulaic style of parenting that was rigid and un-yeilding. Unfortunately, more often than not, it does not yield the desired “result”. It often produces rebellion and ends up tearing at the parent/child relationship instead of undergirding it.

firework_love

Faith is harder than formula-it requires a daily surrendering of both my spirit and my will. It also forces me to look at my own weaknesses as a human being. When I hold those up to the light-well, let’s just say it gives me more grace for my children as I help them navigate the sometimes choppy waters of this world.

No great speaker or author is going to be able to give you ANY piece of advice that can replace the voice of the Spirit in your life. Listen for God’s voice today, busy mom.

And if you’re looking for a place to start, try the Bible.

Colossians 3:12 says, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”

There may not be a formula-and that’s okay. We don’t need one, because we’ve got God’s word to guide and direct us.

Let’s pray for each other as we love our husbands and our children. Let’s pray that we might be kind, humble and gentle.

I’d say pray for patience too… but then I’d be signing up for a test of my patience so I’ll just leave that one “implied.”

But I will pray for JOY today.  The kind that will help my children see how much I love them and how much I enJOY having them in our home.

I hope our kids remember that even though we didn’t get it all right, we sure loved them like crazy.

At the end of the day-it won’t be the bookwork or the math problems that will determine whether or not we get a passing grade on our parenting. It will be our relationships that determine what those end marks will be.

I choose joy.

syd_jumpall photos copyrighted by Sierra St. John

Heidi St John Homeschooling Guide to Daylight

God is Present

If you’ve been hanging around my blog for a while, then you know that I am a follower of Jesus. I am here to bear witness to the healing power and awesome forgiveness of Jesus. I am also a woman who has been set free—and I don’t care who knows it. I was lost—and now I’m found… blind, and now I see!  I’m a new creation in Christ! It makes me want to shout and sing!

Some of you may have read a post I wrote some time ago, called “Broken.” I take such comfort in knowing that God thinks my “broken” is actually beautiful. It means I don’t have to have it all together. And it means that I can learn to love broken people like me.  Amy Grant once said, “Hard times come—and they’ll come til’ we’re done.”  Wise words.

Being in Christ doesn’t mean I don’t have bad days though. Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble!” Bummer. I don’t get a “pass” on suffering. But. Because I trust the Lord, and because I’ve experienced His faithfulness, I see a greater purpose in suffering. I’m learning to trust Him more every day, even when I don’t understand— I trust. ♄ This morning, I was reading in Psalms and one little verse popped out at me:

“God is present in the company of the righteous.” (Ps. 14)

I love that. God is present. He’s here! He listens. And He loves us.

In another Psalm (Ps 46), we read that God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

Again—EVER present. God doesn’t sleep. He doesn’t get tired of us. He longs for an intimate relationship with us, because HE created us. He cares about the smallest detail—right down to our homeschooling and our marriages.

If you’ve experienced the healing power and forgiveness of Jesus, then you’ve got something to celebrate, no matter what life throws at you.  Even those two-year-old tempter tantrums become an exercise in grace, when we remember that God is present. It means that you can see your children through the eyes of grace.

Because once we’ve been forgiven—we forgive.

love_kids

You’ve got a reason to to lace up your running shoes and run the race that’s been set before you today with endurance. Why? Because God’s running with you. He’s the best running partner ever. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. That means that before we take on someone else’s expectation today, we need to ask the Lord what His expectation is. Are you listening, busy mom?

God is.

Heidi St John Guide to Romance

Heidi St John Homeschooling Guide to Daylight

Heidi St John Firmly Planted Family Devotional For All Ages

We Hope—We Wait

“Good things come to those who wait.”

Boy, I heard this a lot as a child, this philosophy of waiting. It was preached from the pulpit, at school and yes, at home. It’s funny how you turn into your parents, pastors and teachers … eventually.

When I was young, I was always in a hurry to grow up. I remember thinking, “if only I could drive…” or “if only so-and-so would ask me out” … and then, I married the most wonderful man—and the “if onlys” began again. “If only we had more money”, “If only the kids would obey!”

baby-crying

Time is a teacher. At long last, I am discovering something about my if only attitude. In Romans, Paul was having a similar angst. Except he had the right perspective.

“But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.” Romans 8:25

In the quiet (read: before the kids awake), I let these words soak deep into my spirit. And a four little words speak to my spirit. “We hope—We Wait.”

Look closely. They come before and after “for what we do not have.”

We live in a world that is desperate for hope. Entire {successful} presidential campaigns have been built on the word “Hope.”  It is a powerful word. It holds a promise that is unique to the one who hears it.

What are we hoping—and waiting for? Some weighty things come to mind—

Raising children is really an exercise in hope. Each day requires renewed patience and discipline as I wait to see the beginnings of buds appear on the branches of those little saplings I have planted oh-so-carefully with my husband.  The promise of fruit that will appear —the hope—that if I plant with the harvest in mind, and if I nurture these little souls—and if—I can ask forgiveness … there.will.be.fruit.

We hope—for what we do not yet have.

We wait for it—patiently

… when we’ve said “no” for the trillionth time
… when we are challenged repeatedly
… when the gentle correction seems to not be working
… when the toddler just will.not.stop. whining
… when the math lessons are wearisome
… when I am weary from the oh-so-daily reminders:

“your school books don’t go there”
“yes, it’s your turn to unload the dishwasher”
“please treat your sister with kindness”
“stop arguing with each other…please …. now … STOP!”

summer-in-summerMany moms fall into bed each night exhausted and discouraged—for little change is seen in the day-to-day challenges of raising children.

Real change is incremental. It is a decision of the heart.

So we wait—with hope—for what do we do not yet see.

And we don’t give up. And we love with a fierceness that burns brightly on long winter days.

And—we keep waiting—because we believe the promise.

Good things come to those who wait. And just like Rome wasn’t built in a day, so fruit trees don’t mature overnight.

One day, I am learning, the effort begins to bear fruit. Children grow up. They get married … and… I’m also discovering that eventually, they make ecstatic grandmothers out of tired mamas.

married

There will be fruit. Plant with the harvest in mind.

Be encouraged,
heidi

 

 

Accidental Homeschooler

Many of you know me as “The Busy Homeschool Mom.”A few of you have heard me speak, heard me on the radio or read one of my books. Most people know that my husband and I have seven children ages 2-21, and that we’ve been married for about twenty-four years. And you probably know that I like to laugh.

What you may NOT know about me is that I used to be 100% against homeschooling. Yep.  You read it right. I was the mom that all the homeschool moms I knew ran from.  I just didn’t get homeschoolers.  After all, WHY would anyone want to stay home all day with their kids when they could have the luxury of dropping them off at school and giving the job of educating them to someone else?  (in my best Grinch voice, “Why, why , why, WHY?”)

I just didn’t get it.

The UNIFORM, circa 1993

Besides.  I didn’t have the uniform.  The dreaded “denim jumper” which was being worn by almost every homeschool mom I knew at the time made me wonder if homeschoolers were part of a cult rather than a movement.  A girl needs to consider these things!  I mean, I like jumpers but I really like my jeans.  What was the point of the uniform? I figured it must have something to do with identifying other homeschoolers. No one at the small private school where we had enrolled our first child was really sure.

Truthfully, I felt judged by all those jumper-wearing homeschool moms who, I was told, were making their own jumpers and growing their own wheat while I was buying Wonder Bread on sale and following (dare I say it?) a fashion trend or two now and again.

I felt guilty every time I ran into a homeschool mom at church. I did my best to avoid the topic of education. After all, we had sent our first child to *gasp* PRESCHOOL, and I knew for a fact that this wasn’t going over well in the homeschool mom’s coffee club.

I did have a few friends who were homeschooling. So I did what any good friend would do: I tried my best to help these poor, tired moms “see the light.”  I invited them to plays and open house night at my daughter’s school. I was sure to talk about how great it was to drop Savannah off at school and spend “quality time” with her little sister.  I even went so far as to take their children to “bring a friend to school day” at the school.  Looking back, I’m a *teensy bit* embarrassed by my behavior. These homeschool moms, bless them, were patient with me.  Never once did one of them tell me to take a hike; and heaven knows, I had it coming.

Of course, I had my own doubts about having our daughter in school. I noticed that because of my husband’s job, he was missing our daughter during most of her waking hours. When he had a few free hours, she was in school. When he came home, she was in bed.  I also noticed that the attitudes of the siblings toward each other were hindered during the school week; I felt as if I was having to “overcorrect” because of the attitudes and actions that Savannah came home with after school.  There were conversations Savannah had with older students on the playground that I would have PAID to have wait another ten years, too.

In the mid 90’s, we ended up in the small town of Wilsonville, Oregon. We enrolled her in a small public school in the little town of Canby. I loved her 2nd grade teacher. The schoolbus came right to our door every morning at 7:30. I thought I had it pretty good.

Meanwhile, Sierra, who was eager to join her big sister, wanted to go to Kindergarten. Trouble was, she missed the age cutoff by a week.  A week!  I decided to console Sierra by telling her I would teach her some things at home. This seemed to do the trick so I set about trying to find workbooks and other materials in order to give her something like “school” to do at home.

I avoided using the word homeschool.  I avoided it like the plague.

But even though I was avoiding it, God was working. God has a way of bringing us around to His way of thinking.

I soon discovered that there was a homeschool supply store about 45 minutes from our house. I decided to “casually” go and check it out. When I arrived, I was overwhelmed by the amount of materials and wonderful books available to homeschooling families.  I asked the store owner what he would suggest for a “non-homeschooler” like me.  He graciously pointed out a few of the curriculum choices. He asked what I wanted to accomplish with Sierra.  I said I just wanted to help her get ready for “real” school.  Then I ducked. But he didn’t flinch. I suspected he had spoken to my kind before.

I left the store with a copy of “Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons” and a math workbook.  I must admit, I was secretly excited to try my hand at teaching Sierra to read.  I had no clue where to start the process, so having a book that gave step by step instructions was just what I needed.

It took about a week of teaching Sierra at home for me to begin to see that I had been totally wrong about homeschooling. All these years I thought homeschooling was about chains, but I was finding freedom instead!  Freedom in the way we did school, freedom in when we did school!  Even the school bus taking our daughter to and from school could not compete with the amount of time I was saving by schooling at home.

My relationships with my children began to be filled with a new sense of purpose as well; I loved seeing Sierra’s eyes light up when she understood a concept for the first time. Knowing that I was able to teach her made it even better. Before too long, we had vowel charts up in the kitchen and posters of the Presidents adorned the walls of the nook where we sat to read. I had to admit:  I was an accidental homeschooler. And I didn’t care who knew it.

I could go on and on about how the Lord softened my heart and drew Jay and me closer together in the process of deciding to pull Savannah out of public school. But that’s another post.  I could tell you about the richness that our family has experienced through homeschooling that we never even thought was possible—but that too, is another post.

I could also tell you that homeschooling is stinkin’ hard.  But boy, is it worth it.  And nothing in this life that’s worth doing, I have discovered, is ever easy.

Homeschooling is not for everyone. But I believe that there are more moms out there like me than not. Maybe you’re watching a homeschool mom right now, wondering what craziness came over her that she would choose to stay home with her children when someone else would take them off her hands for the day.  Well, I’m here to tell you, you’re right. It’s crazy. it’s at least seventeen different kinds of crazy.  Crazy good. Crazy hard. Crazy crazy. Crazy adventure. Crazy amazing.

Turns out homeschooling is not about denim jumpers.  There are no uniforms.  It is as hard as I thought it might be … maybe even more, some days.

And I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Heidi St John Homeschooling Guide to Daylight

Heidi St John Firmly Planted Family Devotional For All Ages

Knowledge vs. Wisdom

Most of you know that I am a follower of Jesus Christ. With that said, this is on my heart today after receiving an email from an overwhelmed, discouraged mom:

A lot of talk about education swirls around methodologies for imparting “knowledge” – but we must be careful not to mistake wisdom for knowledge. So many homeschool moms burn out because they are pulled into a model of education that is burdensome and overwhelming.

Moms, homeschooling should not be burdensome.

That’s not to say it’s isn’t HARD at times but rather, that it should not run you over and leave you on the side of the road for dead.  Jesus said to take His yoke upon you.  His yoke is easy and His burden is light. That’s not to say we don’t teach our children academics—but the focus on the “uber-academic” worries me as more and more parents make education an accidental idol.  Yes, an idol.  Academics in this culture have become just that in many circles—and as a result, our children are gaining in knowledge but lack wisdom.

When you are choosing which method of homeschooling to pursue with your children, ask yourself, “How can I teach my children to love and follow God above all other things?” It’s easy to follow a formula, and forget that the traditions of men often lead to ruin. The Bible says that knowledge “puffs up”.

As parents, we should be interested in teaching wisdom first, because knowledge without wisdom leads to pride.
And pride leads to ruin.

“See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.” Colossians 2:8 (NIV1984)

Heidi St John Homeschooling Guide to Daylight

The Ultimate Multi-Tasker

People often ask me what I would change about homeschooling if I could start over. With two graduates and five more to go, believe me, I think about this question from time to time. It’s good to reflect on the lessons we learn as the years go by.

Believe it or not, the BEST years we have ever had in homeschooling have been the ones where I have felt the least successful. One year, I was on bedrest for months of a pregnancy. My plans for the year evaporated before my eyes and I was left with very few options but to read with the kids and do a “scaled down” version of the program I wanted to use. Very.Scaled.Down.

I was depressed and worried about how well the kids would do at the end of the school year for Washington’s required testing.

That was the year that I truly understood what God meant when He said “My strength is made perfect in weakness.”

It was also the year that the kids scored three grade levels above their grade level at the end of the year’s required testing. I think God was trying to show me that this homeschool journey he has called us to is as much about me following Him as it is about educating our kids.

When I do my part, He more than does His. 🙂

If you’re struggling with unexpected challenges this year, don’t let it discourage you. Pare down if you need to, and believe that God will finish what He has started if you’ll just trust Him.

He’s the ultimate multi-tasker.

Heidi St John Homeschooling Guide to Daylight

Something to ponder as you plan the new school year

As you think about a new school year, be sure that the first thing you do is assess where your children are in terms of developing their character.Are we teaching our children to be humble and kind? Are we modeling what it means to ask for forgiveness?To have respect for authority?A bratty, disobedient child who knows his Presidents and speaks Latin is not a blessing to his parents or anyone else.

Character first.

Curriculum will follow.

Heidi St John Homeschooling Guide to Daylight