It’s here! The most wonderful time of the year … to read! Reading together is a favorite activity in our family, and over the years, reading aloud has become a cherished part of our family’s Christmas tradition. I’ve spent years scoping out books at yard sales and thrift stores looking for hidden treasures to read to the kids. I won’t lie to you—I’ve also purchased some books that were total losers, and they ended right back where I found them. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
I had a great response to the list of favorite Thanksgiving books, so I’ve compiled a few of our favorite Christmas books too—in case you needed some inspiration as you start or continue to build your own family library.
Remember, these books can be found at the library, thrift stores, eBay and a host of other places. If you’re like me, and you want to build a family library, make some room in your budget to purchase at least one or two every year. Those books will create their own special memories for you and your kids in the years to come.
Yes! Leaves are falling, candles are lit. Cider abounds. Bring it, holiday season! This year, maybe more than ever, I’m ready for some good old fashioned holiday rest and love. 🙂
I’m a little bit of a fanatic about Thanksgiving—because it allows us to be thankful for what we have without the pressure of gift exchanges. Thanksgiving offers us the chance to focus on what really matters in this life. To slow down. To reflect.
I speak to thousands of women when I’m on the road during my travel season, and so many women stop by to have me sign their book and fall apart while they share that they are currently struggling with anxiety and depression. Are you there too? In Becoming MomStrong, I talk about how we learn to take care of ourselves, #sothat we can take care of our families well. This story is an example of just that.
One of our Busy Mom writers, Candace Crabtree of Mercy is New is here to share the “Five things the Helped Most with Anxiety and Depression” with us today. It’s important to share that we are not doctors, and none of these tips are a substitute for medical treatment, should you feel the need for it. But the Lord has given us tools as well, and I think you’ll be encouraged to hear Candace’s story. I love how her tips all work together and include time in the Word – there isn’t one miracle fix! ~ Heidi
“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4
Twelve years ago I had three babies three years and under and I was a wreck. I was a total wreck both physically and emotionally. And I was pretty hopeless that life would ever be any different for me.
This season of my life became what would be one of the darkest, most difficult seasons I faced. But today, 12 years later, I can proclaim with great joy the faithfulness of our God and His goodness to me. Is life perfect now? No. Will we always continue facing stressful situations while here in this broken world? Yes. But now I have tools that I have learned first hand can help keep my anxiety and depression at bay so that I can live the abundant life that Christ came to give us.
After months of struggling at my lowest point of depression, my husband and I decided that we needed to do something. We visited my family doctor who recommended counseling and a psychiatrist. We consulted with all of them and have done long term counseling at various times over the last few years. All of them recommended anti-depressants. I was in a desperate place and went on medication and would stay on several of them for nearly 8 years.
Fast forward to the end of 2014. I was 35 or so pounds heavier, I was pre-diabetic and on medication for that, I was taking prescription sleep meds or Tylenol PM every single night, yet I was tired all the time, I was not ever my chipper self like I had been years ago. So, I decided to at least try and wean off of my meds with the help of my doctor. Weaning off of the medication was a horrible experience, but I persevered and by the grace of God successfully got off my anti-depressants. I was thankful for them for that season, but it was time to try something different.
At the same time I began seeking out natural help for my emotional issues. And in 2017, God began a transformation of my life that I cry about nearly every time someone asks me. And this is probably the most asked question I receive, “what are you doing to help your anxiety and depression?”
I’m glad you asked. God has been so gracious to help me this last 15 months. And it has become my great joy and passion to help other women on this same journey to find hope again. I want to share with you the things that are having the biggest impact on my life.
The 5 Things That Have Helped Me the Most with Anxiety & Depression
Cultivating gratitude & a mindset change. Grateful people are happy people. I lived most of my life thinking I wasn’t capable of change. Can anyone relate? “This is just the way I am” or “I’ve always been this way” or “I’m just a negative person.” I truly believed those lies of the enemy. It wasn’t until I began acknowledging lies as lies that my mind could begin new thought patterns. How do I know those are lies? Because God’s Word is full of the word “new.” God’s Word is full of passages telling us that we are NEW in Christ. God’s Word has story after story of amazing transformation. I highly encourage you to start a gratitude journal TODAY. Write down small blessings, big blessings…even things that don’t appear at first to be blessings. Watch your life begin to look different when you look through the lens of gratitude. I also suggest memorizing Philippians 4:8 and remembering that where we focus our thoughts determines our peace. We are to think about whatever is true, noble, lovely and right. How do I know what is true? By spending time in the Word of God! Reading it, praying it, memorizing it, meditating upon it, writing it. Whatever you have to do to get the Word IN.
Diet changes. Food is medicine. I might have laughed if you told me that a few years ago. For one, I didn’t think I was capable of making lifelong changes in how I ate. Two, I just plain would not have believed you. But, I am a living, walking, breathing proof that anyone can change their eating habits. You know how I did it?? I did it JUST long enough to realize how GOOD I was going to feel. And once I realized how good it felt to feel good and actually have energy, THAT is what motivated to keep going! Do I eat perfectly every day? No. But, I know my limits. I know a big plate of pancakes is going to make me feel yucky the next day so I skip it. All of our bodies are so different, you truly have to become your own advocate and start some trial and error with your own body! For me personally, eliminating most grains and processed sugars has been HUGE. Not eating as much processed food is another biggie. When I learned that I could actually feel better and have energy to live out this life God has blessed me with, that was motivation enough to keep it up.
Exercise. The other bad word among us feeling-hopeless-to-change people. I have never ever been able to stick with any type of exercise. Until 2017. I started the year with accountability as well as meeting friends to exercise WITH our kids. So I didn’t feel guilty about taking time away, my kids could play in the gym while I walked and jogged laps. I had good friends to talk with while we walked. I also added in strength training. Did you know there are studies showing strength training to be even more powerful than anti-depressants? Wow. It has proven pretty true for me. Adding in just some simple hand weights, wall-sits, planks and a jogging/walking intervals has been life changing for me. Don’t make it hard! Just get on Pinterest and search for “strength training with hand weights,” go to the store and get you a few small hand weights. Slowly, over time, you can add more weight. God made our bodies to move and they function so much better when we do so. You have to find something that works for YOU. For me, meeting friends helped me. For you, it might mean joining a gym.
Essential Oils. Did you know that your sense of smell is the ONLY sense that goes straight to the part of your brain called the amygdala? Guess what happens there? It’s like the storage bank for your emotions and memory. Do you have any memories triggered by smell? Most of us do. That is how and why essential oils work! Your sense of smell combined with the God-given properties of the oils distilled from God-made plants equals an amazing tool for our emotional wellness! For me personally, frankincense and orange oil have been hugely helpful in managing day-to-day anxiety. I have orange in my diffuser nearly daily, sometimes combined with other oils. All citrus oils are so good for mood lifting! And frankincense, well, they brought it to the Baby Jesus and my hunch is they actually brought it for Mary. You know, postpartum and all. I believe that if I had had frankincense 12 years ago my journey would have looked very different. I put a drop of frankincense in my face lotion very morning and then I put a drop on my thumb and press it to the roof of my mouth daily. You can also do this as needed in times of stress. { Side note: surrounding yourself with encouragement in all of these are huge. These essential oils were a bridge to better health for me because of the team that Heidi and I are on, led by a medical doctor, who encouraged clean eating and exercise along with essential oils. It had a huge impact on my entire year of transformation! There’s more on this at the end! }
Ningxia Red. Go and google the benefits of the wolf berry. Go ahead. I will wait right here. You probably found lists a mile long detailing the high level of zinc, magnesium, fiber, protein..and amazing benefits like immunity booster, support for every single system in your body: respiratory, cardiovascular, central nervous system, digestive system, endocrine system…all of them! I replaced my Starbucks and fast food habit (and all that money I was spending) and am now using this fruit juice supplement from Young Living to boost my wellness and help me manage stress!
I don’t believe there is any one easy answer to dealing with anxiety and depression. I think sometimes the combination of things that helps can also be different for everyone. I can only share my experience. But in sharing my story I want you to know that you are not alone. So many of us struggle! The percentage of American women on anti-depressants is staggering. And for me, it wasn’t helping me to live my best life to stay on the medications. I was still leading an often miserable life without much energy whatsoever.
So, dig in, friends. We can do this. We were made to do hard things. God is a God of REDEMPTION, RESTORATION, RENEWAL and TRANSFORMATION. He didn’t create you to leave you as you are…but to grow you more and more into His image to live out the abundant life that He gives us through Christ. We can better serve our families if we feel good. There is no selfishness in taking care of the temple of God. He resides in us!! He is alive in us! We have the power of the Holy Spirit helping and guiding us! Let us care for this gift we’ve been given so that we can better serve and love our people.
~ Candace
I am on a team with women like Candace, led by a physician, and we’re all learning how to effectively use essential oils to care for our families together. We’re in a closed group, exclusive to people who join our oily family on our team. Check out my page about my favorite essential oils here.
Facebook Live Chat About These 5 Things That Have Helped Me
It’s so easy during busy times of the year (and lets face it, parent life means all seasons are busy) to get overwhelmed with details and forget the main man right in front of us. So what is at the top of your date list this season? If you answered “nothing,” or “folding laundry,” keep reading—because I get you.
It’s not that we don’t love our husbands, right? It’s that we’re just.so.tired. After a long day checking things off the list, intimacy is often the last thing on my mind. I just want to unwind and relax. Trouble is, my husband’s idea of relaxing and mine can look very different—IYKWIM.
Does this sound familiar? “Hot monogamy, you say? I just want to sleep!”
Statistics tell us that men and women struggle to find time for intimacy in their marriage. In fact, most married couples I speak to tell me that one of the first areas in the relationship to take a hit when the stress of life comes is physical intimacy. It’s easy to put a tender caress to the bottom of the list amidst the busyness of life—when in reality, physical touch is one of the best de-stressors we have in marriage!
Three years ago, I was introduced to a series of videos that I knew were going to change the way my husband and I saw date night, and I was right. I figured I’d check them out and was so impressed, I’ve been sharing them with you for almost two years. Let’s just say I think you’re gonna love this idea. 🙂
Looks good, right? Show this to your man, ladies, because I know he’ll want to give it a try after seeing this video.
Massage gives mt husband and I the gift of relaxation, and time together to reconnect and spend time with each other— just the two of us.
Massage gives mt husband and I the gift of relaxation, and time together to reconnect and spend time with each other— just the two of us. A simple massage, with some essential oils combined with Melt’s Oil, allows me to focus on how my body feels. For me, and many other women, that’s 9/10th of the struggle. When I’m focusing on my body and my husband, rather than my to-do list, good things happen for both of us.
Forget “50 Shades of Grey.” The real thing is better.
Marriage should be a passionate love affair that never gets boring.
In short, monogamy should be hot!
If you’ve “lost that loving feeling,” here’s my challenge: This month, mark a few nights off on your calendar (yes, in the middle of the to do list!) and make an evening of relaxing together. If you enjoy wine, put the kids to bed and take some wine and cheese to your room. Light a candle (or ten, if you’re candle-obsessed like me), turn your favorite music on, put your favorite essential oils in your diffuser, and watch these videos together. (I tell you my 5 favorite things about them at the end, so keep reading!)
Not sure where to start? Check out MELT as you make your plans. Not gonna lie: When I told Jay I was looking into this last year, his smile said it all. We have loved using these this year!
Build Intimacy and Trust in Your Marriage through Massage. Here’s Why It Works:
1. Massaging each other is an opportunity to slow down… together
High-speed internet. 24 hour email access. Real-time status updates. Is it just me? Or does the world seem to spin faster these days? Sitting down to a decadent massage together provides a rare opportunity to stop and be together, focused entirely on each other. For just 30 minutes, you can dim the lights, play some soft music and treat each other to a muscle-melting massage. This is a wonderful escape for multi-tasking wives and the husbands who love them.
2. Massage in marriage is a 100% “hands-on” experience
It doesn’t take a marriage therapist to tell you that giving your spouse a massage enhances your intimate connection and builds trust in your marriage. Intimacy is a requirement for healthy relationships, but it doesn’t always come automatically. We need to make space and time to foster our intimate connections, and massaging each other is one very simple way to do that. On top of the time you spend together, you very literally have your hands on each other, helping to reinforce the intimate bond. As you start to work knots from aching muscles and your partner falls back into you, you can take that as a sign of complete trust. The entire experience is seriously incredible. And, if you are both so inclined (and I promise you, it will be hard not to be) it can lead to wonderfully intimate and steamy sex, too.
3. Massage speaks to several “love languages” at once
Treating your husband to a massage is a beautiful way to show him that he’s very much appreciated and loved. In fact it hits almost every Love Language, if you think about it. Massage very clearly speaks to the Physical Touch love language, of course. But if you think about it, it’s also Quality Time spent together, it’s an Act of Service (especially if you don’t ask for one in return!), and if you play your cards right it can make for a gorgeous gift… just package up some massage oil and a scented candle in a big bow and then go on to actually massage your husband and watch him melt with joy.
A couple of years ago I visited my massage therapist several times, due to complications from a surgery. The last time I saw her, I asked how I could teach my husband to do some of her techniques at home. “Training,” was all she said. So imagine my excitement when Denis Merkas, a Registered Massage Therapist, contacted me about the MELT: Massage for Couples video series that he did with his wife Emma. I was really excited (and not just because I got to watch the videos, too!).
Denis shows couples that massaging properly is easier than you think! I really do think this can lead to closer marriages, and can help to reduce stress for both of you. If you’re worried that your husband will never understand how much you need massage, ask him to watch these with you and practice what you’ve learned together. It’s a great way to bring something new and needed into our marriages and invest in our future. Even the arrangement of how you sit is no mistake. Before any technique was created, or routine designed—Denis and his wife researched the most romantic way to position our bodies, because the bed simply wasn’t good enough.
It’s easy too! Denis recommends you stage your massage experience into three separate date nights… “it’s unlike anything you’ve ever done before. Simply add oil and follow along to the videos online. Use your iPad, Laptop, or even SMART TV—the videos are device ready.”
Here are a few things I loved about the MELT series:
1. Denis keeps things PG-rated.
Sure, there’s romantic music and the couple is massaging each other, but clothes stay on, and the focus is on learning how to give a massage. (Yes, she’s wearing a strapless top, but that’s so you can see the proper technique on her shoulders). As Denis says, if things lead somewhere else, that’s fine—but that’s not what his video series is trying to teach you. So you don’t have to worry that this is pornographic in nature! It isn’t—it really is just about learning technique.
2. We learned that we were doing massage wrong—and how to do it right.
These videos break down our misconceptions about massage—which shows what we’re doing wrong—and how to do massage right! (hint: no thumbs allowed!) I have now become the massage favorite during movie night at our house. It’s easy!
3. The videos are short to watch together.
Each video broken down into short tutorials that are under 5 minutes in length. Each focus is on learning one technique. About 6 videos form a series, and there are 3 series altogether: The Basic Strokes, the Highlights, and the Deep Tissue stuff. The Basic Strokes Series teaches you how to actually move your hands to achieve maximum impact–and maximum ooohs and aaaahs.
You’ll watch 7 short videos and learn a new technique with each one, and then at the end there’s a 15 minute video that features a routine using all your new techniques. The Deep Tissue Series focuses on how to use your thumbs to really work out knots. It’s so helpful—and at the end is a 30 minute routine that you can use on each other.
4. Everything builds on each other.
It’s amazing! Each night you feel like you’ve learned something new, and at the end of the series, you will have confidence in your technique and understanding of how massage works.
5. They’re easy to watch together and do together.
(Translation: great date night!) You just watch one of the short ones a night and then practice on each other. Because you’re watching the technique, it’s easy to say, “I’ll go first, then you try it.” Or, to make it more enticing for him, let him massage you first. That way you can’t fall asleep because you have to massage him afterwards—so he won’t worry that if he massages you the night will be over because you’ll be in dreamland. I’ve been saying a lot on this blog that it is so important to start going to bed together at the same time so that you have opportunity to connect.
Instead of watching one more show on Netflix, or browsing Pinterest, or playing one more round of Words with Friends, this gives you a reason to head to bed.
You watch a video, pull out some massage oil, and then do it! And as you touch, it does help nerves to fire. If that leads to something else, woo hoo! As someone who does carry a lot of stress physically, massage is such a service to me and helps me feel closer to my husband.
So many men carry stress on their backs and necks, too, and if we can learn to release that, we can actually change the dynamic in the marriage.
I hope you’ll make this no-brainer investment in your marriage and check out MELT: Massage for Couples.
I dare you to try it and not have fun. 🙂
Give each other a romantic back rub at home—it’s the perfect date idea. Dim lights, scented candles, and massage oilmakes for the most memorable date you’ve had in a longtime!
I’m a little bit intimidated by emergency preparedness people. There. I said it.
Now hear me out … it’s not that I don’t want to be ready for a crisis, it’s that I’ve never had a good idea how to start getting ready. The supplies overwhelm me. How much water do we need to have on hand? How much food? How many batteries—and do I really need duct tape? I have it but it’s plaid and green and my kids use it for crafts-n-stuff.
The events of the past several months have caused me and my husband to shift our focus to what kinds of things we would need to have on hand if there was a disruption in everyday life. I know many of you are feeling the same way. There is a lot going on in our world. But what if you could find a way to have a little bit of peace-of-mind and know that if something does happen, you have resources to tackle the disruption or disaster at hand?
My blood pressure dropped just thinking about how much calmer your kids would be if they knew that mom had it handled. Can you relate? If so—I have good news for you. I met a mom in California recently who has started a business that helps moms like me make sure their family is ready for any kind of emergency situation. Jennifer Stewart-Tai has put together backpacks with literally everything you would need in case of an emergency.
Why should we be concerned? Because we need to be able to take care of our families in the event of an emergency. It can take a while to get help if first responders are overwhelmed. For example, did you know that there are only 15 first responders for every 25,000 citizens?
With just 80% of American families prepared, resources will quickly be tapped out if there is a natural disaster or disruption in services and goods. So it’s up to you to have supplies for you and your family.
“As a busy mom it’s difficult to find the time to research and assemble a backpack and the supplies you need in case of an emergency,” says City Girl Prepper founder Jennifer Stewart-Tai. “That’s why I started City Girl Prepper. CGP focuses on making emergency backpacks for families, with a special emphasis on women.
All the backpacks are already assembled and take the guesswork out of the equation.”
If you already have a backpack, consider this: City Girl Prepper backpacks are different because they were designed by a mom for moms. In addition to the basics, like a 3-days’ supply of food and water, it’s filled with all the extras you really want to have in case of an emergency; women’s fit work gloves, quality feminine products, fun band-aids, and of course—chocolate.
You’ll gain comfort knowing that you are doing what you do best—taking care of your family.
And *newsflash!* We all know that a calm mom= calm kids.
But—here’s what makes City Girl Prepper even more exciting…you can get prepared and help other families do the same thing!
Have you ever attended a party for jewelry or candles? What about a Readiness party? Isn’t it time for a party with a purpose? City Girl Prepper is actually a direct selling company who is recruiting founding consultants. So you can get your family ready and help others too. City Girl Prepper is on a mission to inspire and create self-reliant women who are ready for anything that comes their way. It’s a big mission, and they need as many people as possible to join in and make a difference in their community. “The more prepared our community is, the stronger we all are!” says Stewart-Tai.
You’ve heard me talk about being *that girl,* the one who spends time and energy pouring in to her marriage, the one who chooses to pursue her husband… that one! And we’ve been talking on the podcast lately about purposing to strengthen our marriages, and I’m making that commitment too! This is one way that I strengthen my marriage.
My husband was actually more stoked than I was when we saw these—because he knows that it’s difficult for me to switch out of laundry, carpool, dishes and meal mode and just focus on being together. Massage gives us the gift of relaxation and time together to reconnect with my husband and spend time thinking about just the two of us. A simple massage with some essential oils (mixed with my favorite carrier oil) allows me to focus on how my body feels—and for me (and many other women!) that’s 9/10 of the struggle. When I’m focusing on my body and my husband rather than my to-do list, good things happen for both of us. But listen, maybe you’re like me and you just want to start with your feet?
When I share something, I choose it because I think it is something that will resonate with my audience. This is that thing. 😉 And with Father’s Day coming up, I have a great idea. Remember this podcast about creating a partnership that lasts? I shared this at Valentine’s Day and we had such a great response, we wanted to share it with you again. So many men are hard to buy for, but a gift that keeps on giving TO BOTH OF YOU is the perfect sort of thing our men like! This is a brilliant way to show him how much you appreciate all he does for you and your family!
Melt is a video series that will train you HOW to do massages for each other. It is appropriately presented (PG!) by Denis and Emma Merkas, clearly presented, easy to squeeze in just 5 minute segments, and best of all, easy to implement! Don’t miss the Father’s Day Sale good through June 19. Take just a sec to see if you think it’s a good fit for the man you are celebrating this Father’s Day! (And don’t forget, this is probably a gift that will give you something in response… after all, you and your hubby will both learn to give fabulous massages!)
Perhaps you’ve caught on to the whole Bible Journaling Craze. If you Google it or go on Pinterest you see beautifully illustrated Bibles EVERYWHERE! Some are pretty spectacular and obviously created by talented artists. You’ll also find words of encouragement for Bible Journaling “Beginners” and lots of templates/coloring pages you can use if you don’t consider yourself an artist.
I have been Bible journaling for 7 months now and I absolutely LOVE it. From the time I was little, I have always had a passion for art. Coloring was my favorite pastime and so I entered a lot of coloring contests as a kid (and won some). There were also art classes I took in high-school that taught me things like how to blend and layer with colored pencils. Although I found much pleasure with art, I never pursued it as a career, because I felt like my true gifting was with music, playing my flute. Now that I’m a busy mom I hardly have time to play my flute, let alone sit down to draw a picture… UNTIL, I discovered Bible Journaling!!
Bible journaling is something that gives more meaning to taking time out of a busy day to create art. Finding a scripture that resonates with me and then copying it with creative lettering, adding colorful illustrations in the margins of my Bible make God’s words even more beautiful than they already are. The Bible verses leap off the page and come to life for me! But, this post is not about what I can do in my Bible. This is about what YOU can do in YOUR Bible. So, if you’ve thought at all about starting to Bible journal but wondered how to start, here are a few simple and easy journaling ideas for you…
USE A PENCIL: I don’t know about you, but I was a little hesitant to start drawing in my Bible. What if I didn’t like the outcome? It’s not like you can just throw the page away and start over! That’s why I always use a pencil before outlining in pen or coloring with colored pencils. It definitely helps with planning a good layout for your page.
TRY DIFFERENT FONTS: I like to use a combination of different fonts when I copy a scripture. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Try writing a few words all in UPPERCASE letters (especially words that are important to you like GOD, JESUS, HOLY SPIRIT). By using all caps it really makes those words stand out on the page. Then, try writing in all lowercase letters, or making your letters tall and skinny. Remember in high-school when we wrote in block or bubble letters? That’s fun to do in your Bible too! And, of course we all have different styles of handwriting. Don’t be afraid of yours. USE IT!! It’s who you are.
FLOWERS: You don’t have to be an artist to draw flowers. If you can draw a circle, you can draw a flower! Even the simplest of flowers can be beautiful in the margins of your Bible. For the more intricate flowers, try pinning some photos on Pinterest to refer to for inspiration.
LEAVES: I can never draw enough leaves in my Bible 🙂 They can be a simple border around your words or they can get wild and crazy like a vine that grows every which way! All you have to do is draw a few long squiggly lines with little oval shapes attached to the lines in random places, and voila… LEAVES!
COLOR, COLOR, COLOR: For me, colored pencils are the perfect tool that make your art come to life in your Bible. I started with an inexpensive set of Crayola colored pencils. But, then I treated myself to a set of Prismacolors that were on sale and that is what I use all the time now. They are definitely worth the price!
PIGMA MICRON PENS: They are awesome! Amazon usually has these pens on sale. They come in different tip sizes and colors. They even have brush pens, which are lots of fun to use. The pens are good quality and won’t bleed through the pages of a durable journaling bible.
I hope this gives you a little motivation to give Bible Journaling a try. If you’ve already been journaling, what are some of your ideas?
Twelve years ago I had three babies three years and under and I was a wreck. I was a total wreck both physically and emotionally. And I was pretty hopeless that life would ever be any different for me.
