Category Archives: Parenting

This is Who You Are, Day 5

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Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. Colossians 4:6

Grace is something that’s given but not deserved. It’s the free and unmerited favor of God, demonstrated when He sent His son as atonement for my sin. And i was the last thing on my mind last night when I noticed it was 9:30 p.m. and the kids were still going full-tilt—after I put them in bed for the third time. I just wanted them to go.to.sleep.
It’s daunting to realize that my kids are learning about grace … from me. To be honest, I sometimes wonder if God got the wrong girl. You see, I came to this motherhood thing broken in a thousand ways. I needed healing and a lot of grace. In short, I needed Jesus.

Over the past 24 years, God has shown me ten-thousand different kinds of grace. He’s good like that. God, through His son, Jesus, is grace personified. In fact, whenever you read the word grace in the Bible, you can substitute the name of Jesus. What does grace look like? It looks like Jesus. What does it sound like? It sounds like Jesus.

Sometimes, I admit, I don’t sound very much like Jesus to my kids. And honestly? If I can’t get that right, my witness isn’t worth very much. My kids know the “real” me. They will reflect to the world the kind of grace they learn at home. It matters now more than ever—because the world is asking important questions right now.

We’ve got to know how to give—and receive—grace. Why? Because God wants us to teach it. To testify. To bear witness to the faithful goodness of God.

Paul understood this. He wrote, “But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.” Acts 20:24

He knew his ministry was to testify to the gospel of the grace of God. He knew that grace was the big deal.

The word grace is as over-used as “cool” these days, and I think we’ve forgotten how powerful grace is. Grace is love, personified. Grace is undeserved favor poured out over a lost world in the name of Jesus.

If you are not talking about what grace is with your kids, now is the time.

Give grace, sweet moms.

This is Who You Are, Day 4

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After my daughter had just given birth, I had the privilege of walking through a learning season with her.  Little Noah was a couple of weeks old and I was really loving the new season I was in—a season with little ones of my own and a grandma is truly a special time. But Noah’s birth was a little scary and ended in an emergency c-section. So began our daughter’s new journey of learning to trust the Lord with her child. It’s never as easy as it sounds, is it?

Matthew 14:22 is a passage that I wanted to share with you.  Something that jumps out at me in the this passage is the fact that Jesus went to get alone by Himself and pray. Don’t you love that?  The Lord Himself, God incarnate—prayed.  Shortly after that, we read the story of Peter walking out onto the water to Jesus. As soon as the storm grows, his faith falters. Jesus calms the storm and then says to Peter, “You of little faith!”  Why did you doubt?”

I think it’s easy for us to find ourselves in the same position that Peter was in.  As I was explaining to my daughter at her baby shower, life throws things at you that you cannot possibly expect.

Here are a few things I’ve been learning about how to be a faith-filled mom:

Faith-filled mothering is constrained by love.  As mothers, we are preparing our children for a world that we will likely never see.  Often, we make decisions that our children do not like—even painful decisions because love tells us that it is the right decision to make.

Faith-filled mothers are dependent on prayer. We read in verse 23 that Jesus got alone to pray. Even the Lord needed to pray.  Here was Jesus, physically tired, tempted and alone—yet He took the time to pray to His Father.

Finally, faith-filled mothering is not fear-based. It is not afraid. My grandfather used to say that “fear was present when Jesus was absent, but always absent when Jesus was present.”

Matthew 28:20 says, “I am with you always.”  If you want to be a faith filled mother today, anticipate God’s grace and goodness in the lives of your children.  Believe His promises for your family. “Train up your children in the way they should go, and when they are old, they will not depart from it.”  Proverbs 22:6

Be brave!  The Lord is with you.
Even though I hate to see the winter go, I love the change of seasons. Change is just part of life, isn’t it?  Change happens with our children, our families, and our friendships. It happens in politics and in our churches. Sometimes change is very hard. Sometimes, it hurts. Sometimes I struggle to accept change as it comes into my life and disrupts the way I like things. Sometimes, I resist—but I’m learning acceptance is better.

I’ve been thinking lately about all the changes my husband and I have been through over the past 25 years. From ministry to marriage, we’ve seen a lot of ups and downs. When I was younger, I thought I knew so much more than I do now! I didn’t know there would be so.many.changes. in my life.  From my parenting style to the realization that I had a lot of growing up to to … change has just become part of life. Isn’t it funny how the older you get the more you realize how much you DON’T know?

Looking back, I can see that very few of the painful changes have ever happened on my terms—and many of the good ones were on God’s terms, too. His terms, His timing.

I still have so much to learn about God’s timing.

Accepting God’s timing is just part of accepting the changes that inevitably come. I find myself very nostalgic as I watch the kids grow and leave the nest we’ve spent over 25 years building.  But then, I remind myself, “that’s why we built the “nest” … so that the kids could grow and leave it!  Funny, isn’t it?  As I get older, changes in my life have given me another reason to be grateful for God’s Word. His mercies are new every morning.  He is so faithful. He is trustworthy.  That means that even when I’d rather things were different, I can trust God’s heart for me. Listen to what the prophet Jeremiah said about God’s unchanging nature:

Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV)
22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

God never changes. He’ll see you through whatever you are facing today. His mercies are new for you right now, busy mom!

Hang on tight to the Lord in every season of life. He’ll get you through.

Thankful for an unchanging God,

Heidi

This is Who You Are, Day 1

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Not long ago, in a moment of desperation and frustration, I looked at my husband and lamented, “I live in a state of constantly disappointing someone!” That’s how I felt after forgetting to get back to one of my grown children about a coffee date while simultaneously being behind in everything from laundry to dinner prep.

And yes. I have helpers. That day the kitchen helper complained that her chores were too much, and one of my teens blurted something out about being “ruined” because of homeschooling. Super. Just what I didn’t need to hear. The devil knows exactly where we’re weak, doesn’t he?

I’d love to tell you that I reacted positively to these minor challenges, but I didn’t. I retreated to my room and hosted my own pity party, complete with a Netflix binge session and ice cream.

It felt good, actually. Forget those kids! They can make their own dinner tonight! For that matter, they can do it for the REST OF THEIR LIVES! Our ten year old poked her head into my room and observed that I was “in a bad mood.” She was right. I was.

“I’m just a mom!” I complained. I can’t keep up. Why am I even doing this? Who cares? It doesn’t matter anyway!!

Do you hear the lie? For those few hours that week, I forgot I was part of a battle.

I had forgotten that where mothers are concerned, the devil doesn’t need to change tactics very often. One of his favorite tactics is to tell mothers this simple lie, “You’re just a mom.” But here’s the truth: There’s no such thing as “just a mom.”

Many moms believe this lie because they don’t realize the implications it carries with it. If you are “just a mom,” then:

you are not part of a battle.
you are not capable of training warriors.
your role is insignificant.
it doesn’t matter if you are strong or not.
your role is replaceable.
your role is just for one generation.
your walk with God is not important.
the spiritual battle doesn’t include you.

Do you see? There is no such thing as “just a mom.” You are literally shaping the hearts and minds of an entire generation of children. Moms matter, and the devil knows it. This is why he works overtime to discourage Christian moms from taking an active part in the spiritual nurturing of their children.

We can’t afford to let Satan lie to us any longer. Too much is at stake. We’re dealing with more lies in this generation than in the past sixty years—and it’s time to put this one to bed for good.

You’re more than “just a mom.” You’re more than “ordinary.” You’re ordained for the kingdom purpose of raising your children to follow God. And “just a mom” can’t possibly do that!

Believe it today, and allow the power of the living God to rest on you.

Overheard …

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A friend of mine suggested that I try to keep track of comments we hear in the RV.  Turns out we are a pretty funny family…. very ordinary but funny in our own way.  See if you agree… 🙂

“Sydney! Get out of the baby’s carseat! Summer, put Saylor back in it.”

“Quick! Someone get daddy a napkin! His ice-cream bar just fell apart in his lap.  Nevermind.  Bring him 100 napkins and a spray bottle!”

“Are we there yet?”   “No.  We have like eleven hours to go.”    …  “Oh.  Does that mean I can get out the playdough?” …. NO.

“Where’s Spencer?”

“Look!!!  Fireflies!!!”

“It’s hot.  Is this what God is trying to keep people from when they die?”  🙂  …  Spencer: “No, but it might be similar because it doesn’t cool off at night.”

Sydney, commenting on all the rocks spread randomly over the sand dunes and desert floor in AZ: “This is where God puts the rocks that He doesn’t know what to do with.”

“Can I have another Otter Pop?”

“Mom, there are nice people everywhere.”

“Can we go home soon?”

“It’s a good thing we can trust God.”

“Some truck stops are sketchy. Like little New Orleans islands.”

“Daaaadddyyyyy!  Skylar took the iPad again!”

“Has anyone seen Sydney’s flip flops?”  (Actually this gets asked several times a day.)

“I feel sticky.”

Sydney (age 5) “One time, I punched Skylar in the nose. It did not go well with him.”

Mom: “Let’s play the quiet game!”  Kids: “What do we win?”  Dad: “You get to keep on living.”

“I love you.”

“Can we go to Costco?  It feels like home in there.”

“History is better than Disneyland!”

“I have a new friend… she is homeschooled, too!”

Hot. Hot. Hot.

Traveling south? Expect some heat.

“Am I six yet?”

“I love that there are First Class co-ops all over the entire universe!”

“The sky out here is really big.”

“Has anyone seen my giant grasshopper??”   ….  !!!!!

“Daddy! Even the cold water is hot here!”

Overheard at homeschool conventions:

Me to Todd Wilson:  “What do you do with your kids at all these homeschool conventions?”  Todd: “We call them ‘Children of the Hall’ .”  Me:  Yes!  That’s it!!!

“Mom, can we go to the Timberdoodle booth again?  They’re nice.”

“Kids! Which booth did that come from?  Take it back.”

“Look mom!  They have hats that say, ‘Homeschool Girl!’ And that’s who I AM!!!”

“Is that YOU on the cover of your book?”  Me: “Yes, I color my hair to keep things interesting for Jay.”  🙂  That way he gets a whole new girl every time I come home from the salon!”

Spencer: “Mom, Ken Ham is speaking in the big room. I just love his point of view. Can I go and listen to him talk about the dinosaurs?”

Jay: “Heidi, did you need me to hook your computer up for the workshops?”  Me:  “Yes – did I mention that you are my hero?”

The Petrified Forest: Even the ROCKS cry out!


Heidi St John Guide to Daylight