Tag Archives: worry and fear

Leave the Big Assignments to Him {part one}

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Hi moms! I’m going to try something a little different this week, and encourage you to do a little bit of reading on your own. I’d like to take you through the story of Gideon for the next couple of days—it’s a story of faith that will encourage and inspire you.

Take a look at this passage: Judges chapter six. I’ll read a little bit for you on the podcast, but I’d like to encourage you to read the chapter on your own if you get the opportunity. It’s interesting to note that in the beginning of Judges chapter six, we see that again, the Israelites did evil in the sight of the Lord. Again.

I love to read the Old Testament to our children because there’s so much that the kids can learn from watching how the Israelites followed God and didn’t follow God, and what the consequences were for. Because really, the players have changed, but God hasn’t changed. His Word and His law is still the same.

So, here we find that the Israelites are in trouble again. Have you ever felt that way? (I have!)

¹¹The angel of the Lord came and sat down under the oak in Ophrah that belonged to Joash the Abiezrite, where his son Gideon was threshing wheat in a winepress to keep it from the Midianites.¹²When the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, he said, “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.”

¹³“Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our ancestors told us about when they said, ‘Did not the Lord bring us up out of Egypt?’ But now the Lord has abandoned us and given us into the hand of Midian.”

¹⁴The Lord turned to him and said, “Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?”

¹⁵“Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.”

¹⁶The Lord answered, “I will be with you, and you will strike down all the Midianites, leaving none alive.”

¹⁷Gideon replied, “If now I have found favor in your eyes, give me a sign that it is really you talking to me. ¹⁸Please do not go away until I come back and bring my offering and set it before you.”

And the Lord said, “I will wait until you return.”

I can’t believe how Gideon argues with the Lord! It’s fascinating to see God’s patience with us, and love for in this situation, isn’t it? It’s also interesting to note that God sent a messenger to Gideon and yet Gideon believed that he needed proof of God’s call on his life in order to lead Israel. He said, “My family is the weakest in the tribe of Manasseh, and I am the least!”

You see, Gideon recognized his own weakness, but God uses ordinary people whose hearts are to serve and obey Him.

If your heart is to serve and obey the Lord, He will use you! He has a plan for you and a purpose for your life, just like He had for Gideon. Tomorrow, we’re going to keep talking about Gideon, so take a moment, open your Bible, and read Judges, chapter six.

Faith Filled Mothering

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A few weeks ago, I had the privilege of speaking to my daughter at her baby shower. Little Noah is now a couple of weeks old and I’m really loving Continue reading →

Dealing with Worry

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I’ve been thinking recently about the topic of worry, as I have been walking through some things in my own family. There have been some difficult situations in our lives lately, and it’s made me realize how prone to worry I can be. Last week, I was reading in Matthew 24, where Jesus was reminding us of what our response to fearful things should be. He said,

“You will hear of wars, and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed.”

As moms, we can be prone to worry, can’t we? There are lots of things to worry about, from Continue reading →

Carrying Tomorrow’s Load

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Good morning, Mom!

Worry much? As moms, we are prone to it at times, aren’t we? After all, there is so much to worry about:

—the health and well-being of our children
—finances
—current events (for goodness sake)
—education of our children
—relationships with others

The amazing Corrie Ten Boom once said,

“Worrying is carrying tomorrow’s load with today’s strength- carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time.”

I was reading this morning in the book of Matthew and in Matthew 24:6, Jesus reminds us of what our response to fearful things should be:

“You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed.”

So often, our first response to fear is to panic. And “the basis of panic is cowardice,” says Oswald Chambers. Jesus tells us over and over again the He can be trusted. That He is “with us always.”

I have a friend who speaks at conferences like I do, and this past spring I had the privilege of hearing her talk about fear. She said, “Run to the roar!” I loved that—because that’s what Jesus is essentially saying. He’s saying to us, “look things full in the face—and do not be alarmed.”

Worry is really the “quiet” version of being alarmed, isn’t it? Jesus knew the effects of worrying too: anxiety, physical pain, increased stress—wasted time.

Look what Jesus says in Luke 12:25: “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life ?”

Or, in homeschool mom speak: Who of you by worrying can add a single point to your child’s SAT score? Or, who of you by worrying can change the the attitude of your teen or keep your child from suffering?

What message are we sending to our children when we are always worrying about things? We’re sending the message that we don’t trust the Lord.

Remember yesterday when we talked about “abiding” in Christ? Abiding in Christ frees us from fear and worry. Not because of our strength, but because of His. When we keep our eyes on Him, like Peter, we stay on top of—not under—the water. (Matthew 14:29)

1 Peter 5:7
Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.

This tells me I need to give my worries to God—and then go on about my life. If you’re struggling with worry and fear today, take some time to write down your fears and then give them over to the Lord. He can carry them. He’s good like that.

Worry much? Run to the roar!

PS: Looking for encouragement? I highly recommend Corrie Ten Boom’s books

He’s Good Like That

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Sunrise in the pacific northwest: Mount Saint Helens in the distance

Well, today’s the day. Today, we pull out of our cozy home here in Washington and hit the road. On tap for today: 10 hours of driving.

Yesterday was rough. Jay and I flew in from speaking at CAPE in Albuquerque on Sunday. I unpacked our suitcases, ran some laundry, and packed them up again.

When preparing to leave home for two months, you’ve got to have your thinking cap on.

Only yesterday, my poor little thinking cap seemed to have been misplaced. I felt overwhelmed. The kind of overwhelmed that keeps you from cleaning your house because you don’t know where to start. I struggled to think clearly. Even my lists were overwhelming!

And then there is the fear that plagues my heart and mind.

What if we are robbed again? What if we break down? What if someone gets sick or injured? What if …

Here’s the thing: God already knows what’s going on. It does not do me any good to worry. And the most frustrating thing for me is that I know it!

Busy mom, we serve an awesome God. He gets it.

Today as I sat down to read my Bible, I looked at the calendar and noticed it was April 23. I don’t normally do this but I sensed that God would have me read Psalm 23 — and in the quietness of the dawn,God met me.

Psalm 23

¹The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
² He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
³ he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
⁴Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

⁵You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
⁶Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.

Isn’t God good!? He knows exactly what we need each day. Are you spending time with Him each day, busy mom? He wants to meet with you. As I read today, God gently reminded me that He’s right.here. He’s always been here. He always will be.

He guides us along RIGHT paths–for His name’s sake.

He leads us beside quiet waters.

He restores our souls.

Mom, whatever you’re facing today, you can trust Him. Whatever you walk through, He’s walking beside you. He’s got it covered.

He’s good like that.

When Life Hurts

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I was in the middle of a math lesson yesterday when I heard the news… terror had struck the Boston Marathon.

Heartsick, I stopped school. We sat in silence, watching. Waiting.

Like you, I’ve learned it can be real now.

I remember well September 11, 2001. I was in bed with my infant son when the news broke. We turned on the TV, just in time to see the second plane hit the World Trade Center. At first, we could not believe what was happening in front of us–and then, the reality began to sink in.

It.Was.Real.

There really is evil in this world.

So much heartache. So much grief. So much pain.

How do we even begin to comprehend this kind of suffering?

We don’t. That’s all.

Grief is it’s own master. It comes and goes at will. Like many of you, I’ve learned that grief washes over a sorrowing person like waves on the seashore…

Remember when daddy used to swing with us?
Remember those stories mama read?
Remember how very tiny she was? So. Tiny. I loved her.

For me, 9/11 was a time of innocence lost. A reminder that we truly never know what tomorrow will bring.

In this world, we need an anchor. An anchor for the soul. I loved this from Max Lucado:

On 9/11 we turned to the sturdiest anchor of all: God. Only He promises to secure our most precious commodity—our souls. When God breathed into Adam, he gave him more than oxygen; he gave him an eternal essence. He gave you the same. Because of your soul, you wrestle with right and wrong, value the lives of others and get choked up at the singing of our national anthem. The soul is that part of you dares to believe that good comes out of evil, Right still sits on the throne and the next life will make sense of this one.

The older I get, the more I realize just how little is within my control.

Last night, I was talking with a friend about the pain of a miscarriage my husband and I suffered many years ago. Sometimes, we just don’t understand. Sometimes, life just hurts. Sometimes, the “whys” of this life can be overwhelming.

But even when life hurts, we can trust . The Bible teaches us that we can run to God when life hurts. “God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble” (Psalm 46:1).

God never promised us a world without suffering. But He did promise that in the midst of sorrow, when life hurts, He would be there.

When life hurts, we can run to Him.

In the midnight hours, when the questions arise that are beyond comprehension, we can read His words:

He promised never to leave us (Matthew 28:20). He said, “For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them” (Matthew 18:20). He is “a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24). We’re assured that “the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer” (1 Peter 3:12).

You can run to Him too, busy mom. He hears. He’s present.

Even when life hurts.

He Knows My Name

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I looked in the mirror the other day and laughed along with God.

No joke.

I laughed.

Why? Because I have seven kids, that’s why. And I think it makes God smile.

Why? Because it’s me, that’s why.

Me.

The woman who has to buy silk plants because I have a startling ability to kill both plants and small animals. (I boiled my fish to death in their aquarium when I was 14. True story.)

In my defense, the thermostat broke while I was at school. But still. I think I have PTSD from that episode.

God knew all about my anti-nurturing qualities and still, He saw fit to entrust me with seven precious lives.

Seven.

S E V E N beautiful pairs of baby feet. Made just for me and my husband by the God of the universe.

I think God is smiling at me right this minute, thinking about my dead fish and my silk plants—and those seven precious people who call me … MOM.

You see, God knows me. I’ve learned He knows me better than I know myself.

He knows my name.

I like to picture Him saying it … I listen for it.

And I hear Him—in the stillness that comes with the morning light. I hear Him. “Heidi.”

Just.Like.That. Gentle. Patient.

Like a father should be.

Like any good father, He knew I was terrified of motherhood. Terrified that I was destined to repeat a generational sin in my family. Terrified that I was not equipped to take care of a baby. Terrified that I would mess it up. And even more terrified to admit it.

My Father knew my fears as a young mother-to-be.

And He still knows them. {He’s good like that.}

Sometimes, Father lets me wrestle with a question. Sometimes, He sends an answer.

Rarely early. Never late.

I think He knows when I need an answer and when I can wait a while longer.

In September of 1991, I had a question that couldn’t wait. I needed an answer.

Life hung in the balance.

New life.

He knows my name. He knows my name.

I was a woman who was about to give birth. My fear of failing bubbled to the surface. My spirit struggled under the weight of an uncertain future.

Could I do this? Really?
Would I be an angry mother?
Could I overcome my fear?

Just a few days before our precious first-born entered this world, I broke down. Tears rolled down my face and dropped quietly onto my burgeoning belly. It was time to face my fear.

He knows my name.

As I sat in the living room of a dear woman of God, I confided in her. I unpacked my fears. I told my story.

And God sent me His answer through this precious friend.

Rarely early. Never late.

“I can’t do it!” I wailed. “I don’t know how! I don’t know how not to be angry.”

It was all I had ever known, really. Anger.

He knows my name.

“Heidi, ” Nola said, “Why are you crying? God has made you new. You are a new creation! You are redeemed! Called by name. Loved. Set apart. You are not bound by your past. You.Are.New.”

He knows my name.

In that moment, I was set free. Free to be the woman God made me to be. Free to be the mother I wanted to be.

That was nearly twenty-two years ago.

Do I still battle with my fears? Yes.

Do I struggle? Fall? Fail?

Yes.

But here’s the thing: I’m learning what it means to be truly free.

Free to be imperfect. Free to ask for help.

Free to mess things up. To ask for grace —grace to be the woman God sees when He looks at me.

He knows my name.

He knows your name too, precious mom. He knows your fears—He’s seen your failures.

And He loves you.

You can trust Him with your fears and your failures. Lean hard into His arms. He can hold you up.

He knows your name. Can you hear Him saying it?

Look up. Listen.

He knows your name.

Heidi St. John

Speaking the Truth in Love

Tag Archives: worry and fear

Leave the Big Assignments to Him {part one}

Faith Filled Mothering

Dealing with Worry

Carrying Tomorrow’s Load

He’s Good Like That

Psalm 23

When Life Hurts

He Knows My Name