Author Archives: Durenda Wilson

About Durenda Wilson

Durenda Wilson is fairly new to the blogging world because she has been very busy the last 25 years raising 8 children and loving her handsome husband of 26 years. They have two married daughters and four grandbabies. Their oldest son is graduating from college this year and 5 kids are still at home, four of whom are boys! Durenda loves making good food for her family, but sometimes wishes dinner would make itself. She enjoys meaningful conversation over a good cup of coffee. She recently published a simple, mercifully short book sharing her perspective after 20 years of homeschooling with a "less is more" approach... "The Unhurried Homeschooler". She also shares her heart on her blog Simple Nourishing Home, FB, Twitter, and Pinterest.

Excuse Me While I Peel Johnny off the Wall

It seems like especially during the holidays, sugar is EVERYWHERE! I’m not here to debate the amount of sugar your children should or should not have. That is something you have to decide for YOUR family. I think we would all agree, though, that too much sugar is not good for any of us. Some kids show obvious effects of sugar and some do not. You know your kids and have a feel for their limits.

Sam edited with Heidi Logo
I’d like to share with you a few tools that I have learned over my 23 years of mothering, to help keep down the amount of sugar consumed by our family.  As a result, I can honestly say that, slowly, our family’s daily sugar intake has decreased over the years.

Being aware of what your kids are eating is a great place to start. Plan meals that are as satisfying and filling as possible. Limit the number of treats per day. Also, if it isn’t in the house, it can’t be eaten, so limit what is brought in. Our kids LOVE, LOVE seedless tangerines, so I make sure we have LOTS of those in our frig. Can you think of healthy snacks your kids love? Have extra on hand so when they ask for more sugar, it doesn’t sound like a bummer, but more like, “You can’t have that, but you CAN have this …”

We do a lot of baking during the holidays. Most of what we make is not what we would normally eat, but our kids have warm memories associated with them. And who am I to bulldoze their memories? We head to the dollar store, buy some baskets and ribbon/raffia, jingle bells, etc to decorate and some tissue to line them. We bake and “taste” to our hearts content, wrap up our goodies, put them in the baskets and promptly give them to others: neighbors, friends, family. This accomplishes  a few things: It keeps the temptation down by keeping the sweets out of the house, my kids’ memories aren’t squashed and they learn to serve and share what they have with others! It’s a win/win.

Can I just say that there will be many who will not be particularly helpful in our plight?  Grandparents, bank tellers, and others often want to give our kids candy canes, etc. All in good Christmas cheer, of course. Easy fix.  Just thank them (and have your children thank them) for their thoughtfulness and then promptly (when out of visual range) place the goodie in your purse or bag to add to your collection. Use these treats for rewards or for days when your child hasn’t reached his/her “limit” and would really enjoy it! By doing this you are encouraging both self control and grace toward others’ intentions.

Silas edited with Heidi logo

It can be hard to get our kids on board with the plan, but I have explained it to ours this way: “There are soldiers in your body that fight off the germs that try to make you sick. When you eat sugar, it’s like taking the weapons from the soldiers and they can’t fight off the bad guys.”(This is a particularly effective visual for boys!) Sugar does suppress our immune systems for several hours after we eat it. Who wants to take that risk too often during the height of cold and flu season? Count me out!

Even after a valid explanation, your kids may not be keen on this idea of setting limits with sugar. That’s ok. It could just be one of those many unpopular decisions we have to make as parents. After all, we ARE the mom.

Heidi St John Guide to Daylight

All I Want For Christmas…is My Sanity!

BrittsPictures036LoveJoyPeace“Holidays can be fairly bloody”…a great quote from one of our favorite Christmas movies.  Sadly, there can be some real truth to that statement.  When our daughter was very young, she would refer to this time of year as the “holler days”.  In many families, that can also hold true.

I do enjoy the holidays…I love the baking, the decorations, the traditions we have established, the gift buying and the anticipation of Christmas Day.   But that joy can quickly be sucked into the vortex of unmet expectations…sometimes our own and maybe someone else’s.  Often it can be the members of our extended family.

So as wives and moms who want to honor God, what do we do when we have expectations and obligations heaped upon us?  What about that difficult relative that we have to spend time with?

First and foremost, I think it’s a priority to pray about what God would have you to do and talk with your husband about the way that you want to spend the holidays.  What are your priorities as a family?  Although we do not want to be selfish with our holiday time, we also need to preserve our own family core unit.  We need to have time for our own traditions and enjoy part of that time together.  If you have younger children, making sure that they are getting enough rest and aren’t being pushed to the point of sheer exhaustion is important.  That goes for you too, Mom!  The best way that we can really be engaged in the activities we ARE doing and honor God through them, is to guard our hearts and sometimes that means resting, taking time to process and refresh.

Secondly, pray that we will have the ability to be gracious with others.  We all have family members that are difficult to get along with, maybe thoughtless, even rude.    I was thinking about this the other day and praying for wisdom as to how we might have grace toward people like this and I was led to Psalm 25.  I encourage you to read the entire chapter, but David is crying out to the Lord for guidance.  “He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way”.  I need to humble myself and remember that I have been saved by grace alone.  And though I sometimes feel like others are “worse” than me, it’s the same grace that saves each one of us.  Jesus loved me while I was still a sinner.  I had nothing to offer him, but he offered himself in my place.  If the Son of God would humble himself in that way for me, I certainly can do this for that difficult person.  Maybe for no other reason than out of gratitude to God for saving me.

Another thing that can be very helpful is to think about what that difficult person has taught you.  Even if what he/she has taught you is what NOT to do, say, etc., that is a blessing.  It’s something to bear in mind and be thankful to God for and the spirit that comes with a thankful heart can be a way for God to pour out His grace through you.

Lastly, never forget that our first purpose is to honor and glorify God.  May your heart be able to rest in Him throughout this busy time of year and find complete and utter joy in the fact that Jesus is “Emmanuel”… God WITH us.  He is right here walking with us, not expecting perfection, just wanting to fellowship…we are His.  We welcome you Lord Jesus!

“We will keep our eyes on you

We will keep our eyes on you

So we can keep our hearts on You

Lord, we will set our eyes on You”

-A Mighty Fortress is Our God

Unwrapping the Gift of Thanks

Have you ever noticed how life is so full of change? Maybe I just notice more because  I am not a big fan of change (unless, of course, it’s my idea).  So often it feels like the moment I think I have a grip on things, something whirls out of control!

I remember when I was a young mom and we were adding a new member to our family about every 2 years until we had eight children ages 13 and under.  I would just adjust to having the last one,  get my body back to some semblance of normal and we would find out that we were expecting again.  I loved having babies, I loved feeling new life growing inside of me, but there were always adjustments that needed to be made.  My husband would remind me when I would get frustrated with trying to figure out family dynamics, that I had never had those particular dynamics before!  The kids were always growing and changing along with moves we would make to a better location as our family grew and, of course, changes in us, work, etc.. Easter_2005

During this time, I found it very challenging to get any time in the Word.   It also seemed like such a battle to try and get prayer time, that, often, I would just give up.  That probably wasn’t the best decision, but God was gracious and I believe that He truly does have loads of grace for those of you who find yourself carrying  that burden of guilt over not having “quiet time” (What’s that?!)  The scripture says that “He gently leads those who are with young”- believe me, I hung onto that one during those years!

We moved into the teen years wondering, ” what is all the fuss about teens?”  But we have discovered that teens have a way of holding the mirror up about the time you have on your ugliest face!   I can’t say I always responded well, but over time, God worked in me to see that these teens were a gift to me.   They don’t let me go on thinking that I’ve pretty much got it together.  They live with me.  Although we don’t allow them to communicate in a disrespectful way, we have learned to be thankful for how God uses them in our lives.

Last year we had two daughters get married within 5 months of each other.  They married wonderful men.   I struggled quite a bit afterward, not because I was sad that they got married, but because change has a way of throwing me off kilter and you know what?  The one thing I have learned is that giving thanks…I mean really engaging my heart and mind in dwelling on the things that I have to be thankful for (especially when I write them down), changes my world.  I start to see the many ways that God has poured out His blessings on my life.  I begin to feel God wrap His big, loving arms around me and whisper that He loves me and will ALWAYS take care of me.  That He will NEVER leave me nor forsake me.  I don’t know about you, but that is something I desperately need, and seem to need more of as the years go by.

Jen and Sam Family Wedding Picture

 

“And when I give thanks for the seemingly microscopic, I make a place for God to grow within me.” -Ann Voskamp

We really don’t know what tomorrow, or even the rest of today, will hold for us, but when it is God who is holding us, we never have to be afraid of change, no matter how big that change is.

Oh, how I would have loved to have a short little daily devotional from an older mom when I had so many little ones!  Someone to remind me that what I was doing was of  great value even though it often went unnoticed by those around me.  And someone to encourage me to take in a little bit of the Word each day.  I love the fact that Heidi has done this in her “Quiet Times for Busy Moms”!  I urge you to take advantage of this and let God use it to strengthen you each day.

And remember to unwrap that gift of thanks, daily.

Heidi St John Firmly Planted Family Devotional For All Ages