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This podcast is brought to you by MomStrong International.

Hey everybody, this is Heidi St. John. Welcome to the podcast. Today is Wednesday, November 13th. This is episode number 844. We are already halfway through the month of November. Oh my goodness. We’ve got a lot of things to get to you today. I want to talk a little bit about what it means to not be a victim, but rather to find victory. 

Stick around. I think you’re going to be encouraged.

Thanks for tuning in everybody today. I really appreciate you listening. I think I’ve got the best podcast listeners in the whole wide world. I so love hearing from you and in fact your responses to Mailbox Monday have been so overwhelming and as the questions come in, I’m realizing I’m just getting farther and farther behind and as we prayed about it and kind of sought the Lord on it and talked about it as a staff, we’ve decided to go ahead and invest time on Wednesday also to answer your questions. And so I’m going to get to some of your questions today and then do a little bit of a devotional with you and kind of talk about what’s happening in the news.

And so today’s going to sort of be my off the bench day. Normally on Wednesdays I teach from the MomStrong International Bible study and we have gone ahead and moved that teaching over to the members only group. If you want that teaching, which I do live on Facebook, let us know if you’ve already purchased the Bible study. We actually, we should have already sent you an invitation, but I’ll be giving you snippets from the Bible study. But the full teaching is going to happen over there. That way I can interact with you and kind of take your questions and really put my finger on the pulse of what God is doing in your life so that we can be sure to minister to you more effectively. That’s kind of one of the changes that we’re making.

If you’re not part of the MomStrong International community, I just want to encourage you to do that. This is a fantastic way and a wonderful place for you to grow in your knowledge of the Word of God. And it will help you as you begin to get out of your churches and into the culture. We need to get away from the pews and into reaching the people. And I think we have, for so long, we’ve taken a sideline in the culture and it’s my heart to see you guys get off the bench and onto the battlefield. And so that’s why I’m going to be taking more of your questions and just encouraging you towards walking in a place of victory. And I hear so often from moms who feel less than victorious. We often feel like we are victims and that is not God’s heart for us, really. That’s the enemy. He wants us to feel that way.

And so I guess my question today as we sort of jump into this next 20 minutes is to ask you if anything is holding you back? In Galatians 5: 7-9, the Apostle Paul said, “You were running the race so well. Who was held you back from following the truth? It certainly isn’t God for He is the one who called you to freedom.” So many great nuggets in that small passage. Galatians 5: 7- 9.

But I want to just ask you if you’ve ever lost momentum. Have you ever lost momentum? I have. A one minute I’m cruising along, just killing it. The motherhood gig and I’m feeling really brave and I’m like, Lord, I’m operating in your Holy Spirit. I’m getting off the bench and onto the battlefield. Dinner’s in the slow cooker. My homeschooling is all caught up. My laundry was done. Okay, never mind, that’s just pushing it. My laundry is never done. But just about the time I’m ready to collect my motherhood medal, something happens and I’m a mess. Lying in a fetal position behind my closet door with a bag of double stuffed Oreos.

Please tell me that you guys understand this. All the emojis in the world can come at us at any given time because life requires all of them. Sometimes in a single day when I fall off the mommy wagon, it’s easy for me to look around and an effort to cast the blame somewhere. But honestly, most of the time, even the discipline issues I’m struggling with with my kids can be traced back to wait for it, my own disobedience. I think the same thing is true in our unwillingness to engage the culture around us, to step out from the four walls of our churches and actually be the salt and light the Jesus calls us to be.

We just had an election here in the Pacific Northwest, actually nationwide there were elections and the voter turnout, I want to say it was 12%. What in the world? We wonder why we’ve got so many rotten people in leadership. And I think it’s because we’ve just, we give up, we feel discouraged and distracted and the enemy has used it. And sometimes when I’m struggling, it’s just my own disobedience. It’s the Lord telling me to do something, whether it’s, “Hey, Heidi, discipline your kid,” or, “Hey Heidi, go to bed earlier.” Or, “Hey Heidi, you wake up in the morning and get into My Word.” And I don’t do it because I’m tired, because I feel discouraged. Whatever it is.

And when you guys realize this is happening, can I just encourage you to step back and hit the reset button? And if you’re there now, then this, then lean in because this is for you. If you’re there, take a deep breath because guess what? God understands. He understands. And even when the momentum that you’ve lost has resulted in a departure from God’s truth, maybe you’ve lost momentum and you’re believing the lies in the culture right now. Maybe you’re believing the lie that it doesn’t really matter because it doesn’t affect you. If it breaks God’s heart, men and women, it should break our heart.

And I love Paul’s honest emotion in Galatians 5 because you can almost hear the tone of a parent in his voice. He’s looking at his kids. You guys what happened? You were running the race so well. And then as if he knows the inner struggle that we all face, he jumps right back in and says, “Hey, this is not God’s fault. God has more for you.” You see, the world wants to drown out the truth of scripture, but hear me loud and clear. Men and women, loved children of the living God, we have got to cling tightly to the truth of God’s word. God’s word, it brings freedom. God’s ways bring freedom. Freedom from worry. Freedom to rest when we need it. Freedom from the fear of failure. Freedom to cling tightly to the truth. Cling to it. For in the truth, we find life. We find life and Jesus understands the weariness of the race. I’m going to be answering your questions in just a minute here, but I want you to understand that these things that we’re going to be talking about today, they’re not taking the Lord by surprise.

He understands the weariness of the race and through the Apostle Paul, He gently is saying, “Hey you guys, I love you.” Can you hear his voice? Can you hear Him above the noise of your busy household and the demands of motherhood and the news of the day and all the stuff that’s happening in schools and in our libraries? Lean in because Jesus is here. He’s here and He will help you and encourage you to get back on the path that He has set before you. His word is a lamp to our feet and a life and a light to our path. Don’t be a victim when God has victory for you. Stay in His word and you’ll stay on the path. Keep running the race. God is for you. God is for you.

I’m in the middle right now of writing a 365 day devotional and as I write it, it’s taking a lot of self control because there are days when I’ll just be honest, there are days when I’m just like, I don’t actually have anything to say. I’m tired. Laundry is not done. Sometimes I’m discouraged because we suffered a major defeat. Planned Parenthood, by the way, is the enemy of every Christian that’s listening to this. They are your sworn enemy and we have come face to face with that darkness recently. And every once in a while I just, I feel like, why am I even trying? I really did feel this way last week. I’m like, why am I even trying? I’m telling all these people to get off the bench and onto the battlefield. And I feel like in so many ways, the battle is lost and there is no hope.

But that is not the Lord. That is not His heart. This is not his heart when I’m parenting and I’m tired of parenting, I can almost hear the Lord saying, “You’re running the race so well. What’s held you back? You’re not a victim. You’re my child.” And so I want to just encourage you to lean in and hear from the Lord. And hear from the Lord.

Speaking of leaning in and hearing from the Lord, I’m going to answer your questions, but I want to remind you guys, I’m super excited to start getting your Christmas cards. I’m already getting them. I know that I keep saying this, but I want to see Christmas cards this year. I will cry if I don’t see Christmas cards this year. Send us your Christmas cards for my Christmas card Palooza. I also want to encourage you that it would encourage us if you would join us over at MomStrong International. We’ve got awesome stuff in the Heidi St. John shop right now. The Speak Life necklace is back in stock and they go really quickly and so they make a wonderful Christmas gift.

I think we’ve got 25 in stock right now, so the first 25 of you to get that necklace. It’s a great Christmas gift made in Israel. Beautifully handcrafted. My off the bench cheese t-shirts. We’ve got some awesome Heidi St. John shirts that will also send a message. And if you’re anywhere in the Portland, Vancouver area, come by the homeschool resource center and see what God is doing. We’ve got Anne of Green Gables, there’s a play going on, a dessert theater, lots of stuff happening here. We are training these children to walk with and love the Lord Jesus and that’s what God calls all of us to do. Whether we’re at a homeschool resource center or not. God calls us to walk in right relationship with Him and to pass that truth on to other people. I’m going to read your questions today, But if you guys are discouraged, don’t be discouraged because the Lord of Heaven’s armies is at your side and He loves you and He has so much more for you than you even can possibly imagine.

This comes from Erin. Hi Erin. She says, “Hi Heidi. I’m a new follower. I was just introduced to you by the moms at our church who are doing your MomStrong Bible study.” I am so excited about that. Thank you so much. If you guys have not found the MomStrong Bible study, you can find it on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, anywhere that books are sold and please leave reviews. Please do that. I would appreciate it. All right. She says, “My six year old daughter has been having an issue with Heaven and death. She doesn’t want to go because she doesn’t want to come back to our home. When she brings it up, I grasp at what to say to her, but I end up shutting the conversation because she gets so much anxiety over it. How do I approach this subject with her? Any talking points or Bible verses to read? Any help would be appreciated. I don’t want her to fear Heaven or going to see Jesus.”

First of all, this is one of the most common fears that children have is a fear of death. And actually I think it’s fair to say that adults have a fear of death and we read about death all throughout the scriptures. Our family has faced death many times. We lost my father-in-law a few years back and we obviously came very close to losing Bobby and death is difficult. But the Bible teaches us that death comes to all of us. Death is a part of our fallen world and the Bible does not shy away from this truth. Psalm 139 tells us that God has numbered our days. And actually you guys, knowing that God has numbered our days takes the fear out of, should I do that?

If your days are already numbered for you, the Lord knows when you’re going home, so get out onto the battlefield. He’s already ordained the days of your life for you and the Bible teaches us there’s a judgment coming. I want my kids to know that. I want them to know that there is a payday someday for the way that we’ve lived on earth. That’s 2 Corinthians 5:10. I also want my kids to know that death is not the way it’s supposed to be. This is not how when God made the world and put Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, an intruder came. Satan, and he tempted Eve and Adam and Eve sinned and Adam’s sin opened the door through which the curse of death entered the world. It’s important for your kids to understand where it came from and explain to your kids that this is why we’re sad when someone dies. When in our morning and through our tears, what we’re really saying is there’s no such thing as death from natural causes.

We weren’t born to die. We die because of sin. We die because sin entered the world and there’s hope and your kids need to know that there’s hope. The Bible teaches us that one day death is going to be done away with. In 1 Corinthians 15: 26 it says, “The last enemy to be destroyed will be death.” And I’m telling you what, I’m looking forward to that. One day the Lord’s going to come back and He’s going to make the wrongs that have been done in this world, right again. And this is an opportunity for you to introduce your kids to Christ and to say the Lord’s already defeated death and when we die, the Bible says that those of us who know the Lord Jesus are going to go home to be with Him. That’s joy. The Apostle Paul said in Philippians 1:21 that, “To live for me is Christ and to die is gain.”

And our culture is doing everything it can to run away from this idea of getting old and dying. And I remember, and I know you guys will too, I remember while not all of you, but a lot of you will remember Phil Donahue back in the 80s do you guys remember the show? And he had these guys on there that were saying that they had figured out a way to cheat death. That they had discovered a way that they didn’t have to die anymore. And it was kind of this morbid, weird guess what? Every single one of those people is dead now. Because death, the Bible says, is coming to all of us. But because of Jesus, we don’t have to be afraid of death. I don’t want my kids to obsess over it or become paralyzed in fear about the specter of eternity.

I want my kids to know that if they know Jesus, death is not something that we need to be afraid of. I remember when my grandmother went home to be with the Lord and she was looking forward to seeing the Lord. She had been serving Him her whole life and she wanted to look at Him in the eye, stand before Him, face to face and hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” This is, it’s important for our kids to know there’s a difference between the death of a believer and the death of someone who doesn’t know the Lord Jesus. And so teach your kids how loved they are and how much God loves them, and then talk to your kids about it in a way that highlights the fact that they can have assurance of salvation. And that Jesus said that He so loved them that he sent His only begotten Son.

That whoever believes in Him would not perish but have eternal life. That’s God’s, it’s eternal life. That’s what it is. Eternal life is just that. And there’s no one, not even yourself who can take Christ’s God given gift to salvation away from you. And so you can take joy in it and you can pass that joy onto your children. Erin, that was a great question.

Noel says, “How do you juggle homeschooling high school when your teen gets a part time job?” Moment of silence for this, one of the most frustrating seasons of motherhood. She says, “My 14 year old daughter just got a part time job at a place she’s been wanting to work at for years. She just started ninth grade and I’m wondering how to balance getting her high school requirements in with her new job. I don’t want her to be overwhelmed, but I’m worried if we back off, she’ll get behind in school. Help this mama who likes checklists and is concerned about getting things just right. How do we find balance between life skills and academics and how can it not feel so anxious?”

Okay, so first of all, the anxiousness will go away when you realize every single one of us in the same boat, we all understand it. And actually nobody’s figured it out quite right. A couple things that come to my mind though Noel and I hope this helps you a little bit. I think our kids need to know and this is, I have a 14 year old daughter who wants to work right now and I have not let her get a job because my admonition to her is, “You got the rest of your life to be a grownup, you get to be 14 one time,” 14 is pretty young and so I would be more focused on, and obviously this isn’t a sin issue but I’m just saying for me we chose to focus more on our 14 year old accomplishing her schoolwork.

My kids don’t get jobs, real jobs as in clock in, clock out until they’re 16 because like you, my 14 year old’s also in ninth grade this year and it’s very hard to balance it. Also you have a very, you’re running out of time with her and I’m not trying to scare you but you are running out of time with her. And I think the time that you have with a 14 year old kid is absolutely of inestimable value. It’s absolutely invaluable. And so I would watch her attitude, watch her heart. If she’s struggling with her schoolwork, she doesn’t need the job. She does need to finish her schoolwork, she does need to have time with her mom and dad. And that time, there’s no hurry for her, she’s 14 there’s no hurry. I think don’t be in a hurry.

I understand your checklist and I would say the first thing you want to check off is her heart. How you guys doing for your time? All those things are important. And then don’t feel anxious because the Lord’s going to show you what to do. We’re all struggling through that. Noel, fantastic question.

Melody said, “I want to get involved in standing up for our kids and trying to stop the flash program in the battleground school district. My sister in law sent me your podcast and I was completely shocked. How can I help?” Okay, so first of all, Melody, I’m so happy that you heard the podcast and it makes you want to get off the bench and onto the battlefield. I’d encourage you, and I will link back to it in the show notes today, check out the group parents rights in education. There’s a Southwest Washington chapter, and for those of you who are not here in Southwest Washington, you can also get in the fight to stop flash from coming into your schools.

Comprehensive sex education, social emotional learning. You guys, oh my goodness. These are terminologies that you need to know. And this mom wrote me last week. She said, “Social emotional learning is a good thing.” Ah, no it’s not. I don’t understand why we’re having to come up all this social engineering stuff? Our kids are being social engineered into oblivion. I don’t understand why we’re doing this. Why can’t the schools go back to teaching, reading, writing and arithmetic? Why can’t we go back to teaching kindness? I don’t understand all this stuff. Anyway, it’s going to make me angry. Melody, thank you for wanting to get off the bench and onto the battlefield, start there, parents rights in education, start going to meetings. We have them here frequently at the Firmly Planted in Vancouver. And there’s lots of things that you can do to get involved. And so I’d say I would start there and obviously, and you mentioned this in your note to be praying as well.

All right, Carolyn writes, “Thank you so much for sharing the truth and standing for the truth. My teen son asked me what the biblical response is to smoking weed or vaping. I attempted to answer from the side of addiction, but then he said that caffeine, sugar, and alcohol can be addictive, but we don’t say those are sinful. How would you answer those questions?”

This is a great question, Caroline. Fantastic question. The Bible teaches us that God wants us to be focused on serving and glorifying Him in our life. But you can’t do that if you become a slave to something else. And that’s the point. When we talk to our kids about vaping or we talk to our kids about marijuana or anything, I can give you all kinds of medical reasons why vaping is bad. Hello? Read the news. Kids are dying from it. It just, it’s so funny to me. Oh that’s blueberry. That’s a blueberry flavored smoke. Okay. I’ve had this conversation with my own teens.

Anything that can lead us to addiction is, alcohol hello can be addictive and that can absolutely fall into sin. If you’re so addicted to sugar that you can’t get through a day without it, then absolutely it can be. If it’s causing you to be mastered by it and you’re losing control of your life. I don’t know very many people who are mastered by caffeine to the point where they can’t pay attention to their families and we can see the obvious problems with alcohol and marijuana, which makes you basically not care about anything. And if your son needs a lesson on what a smoking weed does, just tell him to come to Portland, Oregon or Seattle, Washington and just walk along the streets and he’ll see the very, very big downside to smoking weed.

The Bible talks a lot about what masters us and really that needs to be the topic to me, of conversation. I would take your son to Romans 6 and 1 Corinthians 6:12-20 because even though things in our lives have a God approved place, we can still sign ourselves up for slavery if we’re not careful. That’s a great question, Caroline. I really appreciate you bringing it in.

I have one more question that I’m going to get run in here because I’m overtime as usual. Man, you guys have such good questions. We love our church, but recently I felt uncomfortable in new situations. Now that our sixth grader is in youth group, they get to take several trips and retreats throughout the year. I’m not sure if we’re at a stage of needing to let go a little or if the trips aren’t really such a good idea. Our 11 year old has said the girls in her youth group are very materialistic. They wear crop tops and shorty shorts and use cuss words and text their boyfriends during church. This is not exactly the kind of behavior we want our kids to spend a lot of time around.

Okay, so first of all, anonymous, very, very good for you to see that your child will be influenced by the people that are around her. In Proverbs 12:26 it says, “The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray,” and your Christian child can absolutely be led astray by hanging out with kids who aren’t walking with the Lord.

And how often is this happened in youth group? Do not even get me started. My husband was a pastor at a very large church long time ago and we did not let our kids participate. He was a pastor there and we didn’t let our kids participate in youth group. To me, I’d find out what’s going on at your youth group. Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron so one friend sharpens another.” And I think the converse of that is to say, as one friend is dull so they get the other friend to be dull also. Proverbs 13:20, “Walk with the wise and become wise. Associate with fools and get into trouble.” Just because someone has labeled it a youth group, doesn’t mean it’s good for your kids. I’m going to say that again. Just because it’s labeled as a youth group and just because it’s labeled as a youth group from your church, doesn’t mean it’s good for your kids. And so you need to be careful in who your children are hanging around with.

Luke 6:40, you guys have heard me say this a 100 times, when a student’s fully trained, he’ll be like his teachers. He’ll be like his teachers. Good friends give wise counsel. You want your kids to be around good friends. All right, First Corinthians 15:33, “Don’t be misled. Bad company corrupts good character.” And so if your kids are around people with bad character, I don’t care if they’re at your church or at your school or wherever it is, I would definitely be limiting the time. Psalm 1, I’m just going to end with that. You guys, oh my goodness, the Bible is replete with warnings about who we hang out with, especially children. Psalm 1:1, “How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked nor stand in the path of sinners or sit in the seat of scoffers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord and in His law he meditates day and night.”

I hope that helps you guys today. Thank you for those questions. Keep them coming. If you want to submit a question, you can go to heidistjohn.com/mailboxmonday. Please leave your name and a date in there so that we can see when that question was submitted. Please keep your questions short and sweet and to the point. It helps us to be able to get to them more quickly. We love you guys. We thank you so much for listening. Thank you for your prayers for this ministry and for joining us at MomStrong International. If you’d like to participate in our Christmas card Palooza and I hope you will, please send us your Christmas cards.

We would also love it if you would send year-end donations to us here at Firmly Planted Family. We are a nonprofit organization and your contributions help us to keep this podcast on the air. You can reach us at Firmly Planted Family, 11100 Northeast 34th Circle, Vancouver, Washington, 98682. Thanks for listening everybody and I’ll see you back here on Friday with some new friends of mine, the Creation Guys. You won’t want to miss it.

Write to Heidi:
Heidi St. John
c/o Firmly Planted Family
11100 NE 34th Cir, Vancouver, WA 98682

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