I like manuals. Lucky for me, most things come with one. Your car came with a manual. So did your TV and your Crock-Pot. Last week, I actually bought an eyeliner manual. You know, because, really, I’m just making that up as I go, too.

When it comes to parenting, there are a lot of great books out there. But MomStrong moms are looking for more than advice—we’re looking for wisdom. And God tells us that the beginning of wisdom is found in knowing the Lord (see Psalm 111:10). And the way we find out what God’s character is like is by reading His Word. Every other book out there (including this one) pales in comparison to that singular literary masterpiece. It’s the only book you need. In the early nineties, my husband, Jay, and I participated in a popular parenting class at our church with several other young couples. These were formative years for all of us, and we wanted to get it right.

We all did our best to follow the advice laid out in the book we were studying. It touched on virtually every aspect of parenting: there was a right way and a wrong way to feed babies, and there was a right way and a wrong way to do naptime and bedtime. It really was a formula for parenting. The trouble is, formulaic approaches to parenting don’t usually work, because each child is different. We learned very quickly that what worked for one child didn’t necessarily work for the next one, and so on.

Many of the lessons we learned in the class were excellent, but the hard and fast rules of the program set the stage for what turned into legalistic, performance-based parenting. It was as if there was a competition between the families in the class. Whose kids were the most polite? Which ones came as soon as they heard their names?

One morning in church, I noticed that my kids were arguing over something. Normally I would have just corrected the situation, but in this “parenting competition” I’d placed myself into, the stakes seemed higher. I felt like I had to crack down hard on the infraction. Suddenly, I felt like everyone was watching my children. It didn’t help that I was a pastor’s wife either. Every time the kids disobeyed me in church, I was deeply embarrassed for myself and my apparent lack of parenting know-how.

The comparison trap was stealing the joy from parenting—but worse than that, it had us all focused on a temporary obedience rather than gaining insight into the heart of the issues we were facing with our individual children. That pride and embarrassment put the focus solely on my children’s actions rather than on their hearts.

This is the real danger of formulaic parenting. Formulas tend to make parents believe that correct actions always indicate a contrite heart. Of course, that’s simply not true. A child can be made to sit down on the outside and still be standing on the inside. In the past twenty years, I’ve never met a mom who merely wanted her children to act like good kids. We want more than that for our kids—we want them to be good kids. Unfortunately, performance-based parenting often encourages just that—a performance.

Of course, reading advice from other godly people isn’t bad; we can glean much wisdom from believers who have walked the journey before us. But when we do all our learning from others and forget to spend time with the Lord, we’re in danger of winning the battle and losing the war.

The battles come in the form of everyday issues like getting your kids to put away their toys, sit still at the dinner table, and brush their teeth. But war is different: the stakes are higher. We’re talking about the hearts and minds of our children here—their character, their compassion, their moral foundation, and their capacity to love. The matters of preference are inconsequential; the matters of the heart and soul are eternal. MomStrong moms understand the difference, and while they don’t ignore the battles, they know that their primary focus must be on winning the war. When we stray from the Bible, we are in dangerous spiritual waters. MomStrong moms know the Word, and they respond to today’s challenges with God-centered wisdom. Don’t be deceived: your best defense, your only defense, is the Word.

Of course, we can’t give our kids what we don’t have. If you aren’t in the Word for yourself, you need to be—for your own sake as well as for the sake of your children. God offers a promise for those who seek wisdom: those who seek wisdom will find it. The war may feel long and fierce, but we don’t have to go it alone.

Becoming MomStrong means digging into God’s Word for answers to the daily challenges you and your family face. If you’ve never done that before, I encourage you to do something that took me years to do—be intentional about making time to read the Bible each day, even if it’s only a little bit at once.

It’s okay to start small. Commit to reading the Bible for just ten minutes each morning, and you’ll be amazed at what you’ll learn about the character of God and His heart for this hurting world. You’ll also see that God has set standards in place since the creation of the world. His law is as steadfast as the rule of gravity—and things go better when we obey, just as they do when we respect the laws that govern the physical world.

If you’re struggling with one of your children or with a situation one of your children is facing, it’s time to get on your knees and ask God for unique wisdom and perspective. God knows exactly what’s going on, and He can give you the wisdom you need. Isn’t that amazing? It’s one of the reasons we have hope as Christian moms. Instead of facing all the challenges and changes of motherhood on our own, we have the Creator Himself walking alongside us.

Parenting is a tough job, but thank God, we don’t have to rely on our own wisdom. God has already given us the best parenting manual in the world—His Word. The more we teach our children to “follow in the ways of the Lord,” the better equipped they will be to face the challenges ahead and “be successful in all [they] do and wherever [they go]” (1 Kings 2:3-4).

Have you ever seen what happens to sleep-deprived drivers? They get into accidents. The same rule applies to motherhood: tired moms are prime candidates for burnout. Have you ever been done? You know, done, as in do-your-own-laundry-and-find-your-own-food kind of done? Me too. When I’m tired, here’s what happens:

I tend to avoid reading my Bible.
My house turns into a 24/7 movie theater (aka “video babysitter”).
Homework doesn’t get done.
Laundry piles up.
The slow cooker gets dusty.
The kids don’t get disciplined (just telling the truth here, people).
School doesn’t happen.
I stop shaving my legs. And showering.

And I don’t care. About any of it. When I’m near burning out, I tend to check out. I’m guessing that if we were having a tall pumpkin spice latte together right now, you’d be high-fiving me. Why? Because we’ve all been there.

Here’s the thing: the key word in burnout is burn. Burnout happens when we focus for too long on the wrong things, such as keeping up with the Joneses or saying yes when we should say no. We have to stay on top of these little flare-ups before they turn into full-blown brush fires. And it’s not just our individual homes and families we need to be concerned about. Look around: the entire battlefield is ablaze right now. Our kids can’t afford to have moms who are burned out and checked out. They need us to be all in.

God has given this generation of moms a special challenge: to train future warriors for the spiritual battle that’s unfolding around us. God is asking today’s mothers to be strong in the midst of an incredibly powerful cultural shift away from the truth of God’s Word.

It’s an awesome responsibility, and in all honesty, it’s daunting. Christian parents have the privilege and responsibility of teaching their children what it means to be strong in the Lord and in the power of His strength. The devil knows this. He knows that if the mothers of this generation are too exhausted to fight, they’ll be tempted to give up. Tired parents have a tendency to look for ways to relieve the stress of parenting by relegating their sacred calling to pastors and teachers. Simply put, when the going gets tough, many moms are checking out.

But MomStrong moms don’t check out. They check in—all in. One hundred percent!

Being all in starts with a personal commitment to recognize Jesus Christ as our source of strength. MomStrong moms need to prioritize their relationship with the living God in the same way they prioritize every other life-giving aspect of their lives. Think about it—just one day without water leads to dehydration. Well, our souls are no different. That’s why we can’t afford to go a single day without connecting with the Lord, either through His Word or in prayer. Doing so puts us at risk for spiritual dehydration.

One of my favorite verses is Isaiah 40:31: “Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Read that again. Now one more time. (It’s okay—I’ll wait. This is important.)

The prophet is pointing us to the source of all strength: the Lord! He’s reminding us that it is the Lord who renews our strength. Do you want to run and not grow weary? Drink from the living water! We were born to thirst for our Creator. Without coming to Him daily, we’ll eventually find ourselves weary, weak, and discouraged.

It’s no wonder the enemy is working overtime to discourage and deplete moms. Think of it this way: a mom who is too tired to pray and read her Bible is no real threat to the devil. A tired mom is more likely to let the Internet parent her children. She’s apt to miss the subtle signs of a child whose heart is far from the Lord. A tired mom is less likely to spend time with God, and without filling up at the source, she runs on empty.

Trust me, I’ve been there. You start out fresh and energized. You have everything under control. You nap when Baby naps. Friends bring you pre-made dinners so you don’t have to cook. Mothers-in-law stop by to help with laundry. You schedule date nights with your spouse. You might even arrange a spa day for yourself every couple of weeks. After all, there’s almost always a friend or a family member who can fill in for you for the afternoon. But then one kid turns into two (or three or seven) and all of a sudden, you’re in full-on mom mode.

In a blink, your life is nothing but carpools and Crock-Pots, from the moment you wake up until you lay your head down again at night. Date nights vanish. Sitters become harder (and more expensive) to find. Laundry piles up. And before you know it, you’re eating leftover tuna casserole three days in a row and wondering when you last washed your own hair.

Let’s face it: busy doesn’t even begin to describe most moms today. We’re often too distracted to even ask God for help with our daily challenges. And Satan loves it when we’re too busy to pray. Why? Because a mom who is too busy to seek the Lord in prayer is easy prey for the devil! Peter warns that our enemy is like a “roaring lion” (1 Peter 5:8). And this lion knows exactly how to get to the heart of a weary mom and drag her into the brush.

But consider this, precious mom: in the midst of all the Crock-Pots, curriculum, and carpools, God wants to be your shelter. He wants to give you refuge from the chaos of the day. Take a drink of living water every morning, and stay in tune with the Spirit throughout the day by praying and listening for that still, small voice. Yours is an awesome responsibility, so don’t be afraid to go directly to the Lord when you need help. Share your challenges with Him, day and night, and let Him be your shelter. He is listening. He always will be.

Adapted from Becoming MomStrong: How to Fight with All That’s in You for Your Family and Your Faith by Heidi St. John.

Of all the wonderful stories in the Bible, the story of David and Goliath remains one of my favorites. Just imagining this young boy loading a small stone into a slingshot and stepping onto the battlefield in the name of the Lord strengthens my own resolve to be courageous.

The reality is that we all face different kinds of giants in our lives. The question isn’t whether they’ll show up; it’s whether we’ll have the courage to load our own stones into our own slingshots when the time comes.

Several years ago, I decided it was time to face a huge giant in my life. That giant’s name was Fear. For me, facing this giant meant risking my reputation as a “put-together” mom, author, and speaker by sharing one of my most personal struggles: the childhood trauma I faced, along with the years of crippling anxiety I experienced as a result.

I’ll never forget the first time I stepped onstage with the intention of telling the truth about this tender part of my life. I knew God had asked me to address the very real problem of domestic abuse within the church while speaking to a group of homeschooling women. The only way to do it with authority was to be honest about the abuse I’d experienced growing up.

I prayed for weeks in advance about what I’d say, and every time I even thought about it, Fear (and his henchman, Adrenaline) would hijack my mind and my body. My hands got clammy, my heart raced, and my anxiety soared. But all the while, God was teaching me to recognize the spirit of fear and reminding me to remain in Him.

The day I took the stage to share what had previously been known only to close friends and family, it felt very much like I was picking up a stone and chucking it with all my strength at the giant that had held me hostage most of my adult life. Sometimes the only way to do something is to do it afraid.

Do you know what happened when I took aim at that giant? God showed up. When I obeyed the Lord, something miraculous happened: He began to set me free. As I testified to God’s unfailing love in the middle of my trials, I saw tears rolling down the faces of many of the women in the audience. The response was overwhelming.

That day I learned that the devil doesn’t want us to share our struggles. He wants us to feel that we’re all alone. Isn’t that what the devil does best? He tries to keep us from knowing the truth. To my surprise, I was learning that I was far from alone in my struggle. God wanted to use my story, including the broken parts, even as I was still finding my own healing.

We all have different fears we battle against. But one common characteristic about most fears is that they stem from the lies we believe. Maybe Satan has whispered some of these lies into your ears at some point:

You’re not strong enough.
Your past has determined your future.
Everything depends on you.
You’ve failed too many times.
You can’t do this right.
You’re screwing up your kids.
Everyone else’s kids are doing better than yours.

When I say these statements out loud, I know they’re lies, but somehow in the quiet of my heart, they sound different. They sound believable.

As a young mother, I struggled to differentiate between the voice of the enemy and my own insecurities. I had grown up hearing stories about the lineup of courageous people of the Bible. I knew all about Joshua and the battle of Jericho, I could tell you all the ways Mary was brave, and I could quote a whole bunch of verses about faith—but it was just “Christianese.” I knew the stories of courage, but I couldn’t translate them into power for my own life.

Can you relate? We need a giant-sized slingshot to face the giants in our own lives. Thankfully, God supplies slingshots when we ask Him to. He’s good like that.

I know all this talk of courage can sound kind of cliché, so let me unpack it for you just a little. MomStrong moms recognize that courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s the decision to act in the face of fear. When we face our fears in faith, what we’re really doing is allowing the Holy Spirit to be who He says He is: bigger than our fear.

When we pick up our slingshots and take aim at our giants through the power of the Holy Spirit, our aim will be sure. Fear is no match for the Lord of heaven’s armies. According to the Bible, God is pretty good at helping amateurs like David to make their aim count. It took only one stone to take down the giant Philistine.

The same is true for us. When our trust is in the Lord, courage finds its feet. My grandmother once said, “God is faithful, or He isn’t. He’s good, or He isn’t.” There’s no such thing as halfhearted faith—we need to go all in. The way we respond to trials is our opportunity to put feet to our faith.

If you’re struggling to find courage in the midst of a battle, it’s okay. Our faithful God knows every part of you. He sees every hurt and knows every detail of the fears you’re facing. MomStrong moms have uncommon courage, because their courage comes from God Himself. Where God’s love is found, His courage is not far behind, because the Word tells us that perfect love drives out fear (see 1 John 4:18). Uncommon courage is God’s gift to every fearful mom who decides she can take Him at His word, not matter what she is facing. Watch and see—He will prove Himself faithful.

Have you ever looked into the faces of the people who call you mom and wondered what in the world you got yourself into? Do you ever feel weak and unqualified for the position that is often referred as “a sacred calling”? Have you ever wished you could transport yourself and your kids back to a simpler time—a time when schools taught math and reading, there was no such thing as the Internet, and churches taught the truth?

I have. Maybe, like me, you’re surrounded by fifteen tons of cold, wrinkled laundry and you know you need to go the grocery store, but frankly you just don’t care if your tribe eats tonight or not. (Why do they want dinner every. single. night?)

If you’re like me, you’ve been reading the headlines and watching the rapid-fire changes that are taking place in our culture with a fair degree of frustration and fear. Let’s face it: moms today are being asked to deal with more than just the “basics” of motherhood; we’re grappling with questions that previous generations never even saw coming. We’re constantly assaulted by questions about everything from gender identity to the safety of vaccines.

Today’s mothers need a special kind of strength. Yes, we need to be physically strong, but we also need strength of conviction and spiritual fortitude. Today’s moms need to be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. We dare not rely on human strength for the current battles we’re facing in culture.

I’ve never met a mom who didn’t want to raise strong, healthy kids, but there’s a caveat: we can’t give our kids what we don’t have ourselves. Our children need us to stand up in a culture that is literally shouting “stand down!”

The schools will tell you that they know better than you do. Don’t believe them. The media will tell you that truth is whatever anyone wants it to be and that the role of parents isn’t that important. Don’t buy it.

Voices from your past might whisper, You’re not ready for this. Don’t listen. You can do this! You—the mom in the midst of it all—have been set apart for a job that only you can do: to train your children to hear God’s voice and to walk in the truth no matter where our culture is heading.

You might be tempted to shrink back from the challenge or let someone you think is smarter or stronger than you take over. But I want to encourage you—for the sake of your children—to engage in the battle. It’s no accident that you’re here right now. This is a special generation of mothers who has been called to shepherd a special generation of children.

God wants to use this generation of mothers to do something extraordinary: to be strong in the Lord, to know who you are in Christ, and to impart that strength to your kids.

In other words, He wants you to be MomStrong!

Make no mistake: motherhood is tough, and it’s not for the faint of heart. In my twenty-six years of parenting our seven children, I’ve learned how weak I can be and how strong God is. I’ve come to believe that God wants to use my role as a mother to give me a glimpse into His Father-heart for all His children. After all, He knows I’m going to need it for the mission I’m on with my own kids.

And yes, whether you’re aware of it or not, if you’re a mom, you do have a mission—to raise the next generation of teachers, doctors, judges, police officers, grocery store clerks, attorneys, and nurses. Truly, the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. But wait—there’s more. You are also raising the next generation of parents! Look around. It doesn’t take long for one generation to hand the baton to the next. And it’s up to you, Mom, to make sure that when the time comes, your children are strong enough in the Lord to accept the challenge themselves.

What a high calling motherhood is! Our culture may have reduced it to little more than a stopover on the way to something else, but the truth is that motherhood is sacred. You, Mom, are shaping the future, one little heart at a time. Everything else pales in comparison.

If you aren’t sure where to get the strength you’ll need for the journey, keep reading, because this beautifully broken mother of seven would like to give you a gentle hug and a high-five as I point you to the true wellspring of life and strength: Jesus. By the way, it’s okay if you don’t feel strong. None of us start out strong. The good news is that God doesn’t require strength for the journey; He offers it. He wants to make us strong, but we have to truly want His strength in order to find it. How do we want it? By acknowledging our own weakness.

It may feel a little frightening at first, this admission of weakness. But take it from someone who has been there: coming to terms with weakness is liberating. When we finally admit we can’t do it on our own and look to Jesus, we’re about to be set free. Free from the past. Free from the tyranny of other people’s expectations. Free from worry. Free to love. Free to grow. Free to move with confidence into the future. Exchanging our past for a future in Christ and claiming His strength is where becoming MomStrong begins.

In Christ, you are more than a conqueror. You are strong, safe, sealed, and secure. You are a channel of the love and life of God for your children.

So where do we start? How can we stand up and be strong in a culture that marginalizes mothers and puts children at risk by its very definition of family? We go back to the beginning. God has already given us the blueprint for becoming MomStrong, and that blueprint is found in the Bible. He has entrusted us with bringing up the next generation, and He says that His strength is made perfect in weakness.

It doesn’t matter where you started. Your inexperience makes you the perfect candidate to receive direction from the One who knows your kids better than you do. Your past doesn’t need to define your future. God is in the business of redemption! He makes things new. Strength comes from Him.

By God’s grace, we can be strong enough to show the next generation that we serve a mighty God. By God’s grace, we can all become MomStrong!

I have been homeschooling my kids for almost two decades now, and we have an art/music/library/spare room that also functions as a schoolroom. Taped around the room, near the ceiling, there is a timeline of world history. If you can look past the part where our parrot gnawed holes from 1600 to 1890 and see beyond the coffee stains near the life of Florence Nightingale, you might still appreciate our simple, tattered attempt at understanding all the extraordinary events we’ll never be able to witness ourselves. It’s no Sistine Chapel ceiling, but it tells a story just the same.

My husband, Jay, and I have always explained to our children that history is something worth digging into, because history is more than just a series of dates on a timeline. History is really HIStory—God’s story—the unfolding of the Master’s plan. We only get to witness about .001 percent of it, but we can appreciate the rest through the rearview mirror.

There are a lot of important dates and people on our timeline: the birth of Christ, the reign of Napoleon, world wars, the Holocaust, and the great revivals. Look closer and you’ll see images of Beethoven, missionary Gladys Alyward, and President Ronald Reagan. There’s even a little sticker that celebrates the birth of the United States.

And in 1967, nestled between the appointment of the first African American Supreme Court Justice and the assassination of President Robert Kennedy, God did something amazing in the life of the St. John family. In 1967, God decided it was time for Jay St. John to become part of HIStory. And so, on a cool October day, Jay was born into the care of his mom and dad, Lou and Jerry St. John. Not too much later, in 1970, God determined that it was time for me to become part of HIStory. In 1989, our two lives became one, and HIStory continued to unfold as we became parents ourselves.

We learn a lot together in our little schoolroom, but one of the most important things I want our children to know is the role they play in God’s story. God’s purposes are eternal, and each child He gives us, like Esther, has been born “for such a time as this.”

I want each of my seven children to know that God put them on this earth with a unique purpose. Their births were no less significant in God’s economy than the birth of George Washington or Elisabeth Elliot. Their lives are precious, and I want them to know why. I want our children to learn about men and women who followed God (and those who rejected him) throughout history, because I want them to see that they are just as much a part of God’s story as anyone else whose picture graces our worn-out timeline.

So why tell you about my tattered and yellowed timeline? Because in order for us to train our children for their own journeys of faith, we need to see ourselves on the continuum of HIStory. God is always at work: and He has placed you right here, right now, for such a time as this—to help prepare your children for the war that lies ahead!

Make no mistake: in the midst of homework assignments, chores, and the seemingly mundane conversations you have every day with your children, you are preparing warriors—warriors who will be asked to answer the tough questions culture is asking, asked to give an answer for the hope that lies within them (see 1 Peter 3:15). You are preparing warriors who at some point will be asked to choose between following God’s law and following the culture. And in order to prepare warriors, you have to become a warrior yourself.

If you’ve never thought of yourself as a warrior, it’s okay. Most moms don’t come into motherhood thinking they’re enlisting for battle. Mothers are life givers. We’re nurturers. We plan meals and put on Band-Aids and give hugs . . . unless you mess with our babies. Am I right? Mess with a mama’s babies, and you’ll see a warrior born right before your eyes! But make no mistake: we are at war. We’re at war with a culture that blurs the lines between right and wrong, a culture that devalues the sanctity of human life, a culture that marginalizes the family values God put in place. In short, we’re at war with the enemy of our souls. We’re at war with the one the Bible teaches has one purpose: “to kill and steal and destroy” (John 10:10). It’s serious business, this job of training up the next generation.

A MomStrong mom understands that she is a warrior, not just for her kids but for the generations that follow. Even more important, because she sees herself as a warrior, a MomStrong mom is willing to fight for what God says is worth fighting for. She uses the sword of truth to cut a swath through the lies of the enemy. The apostle Peter tells us exactly who this enemy is: “Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8).

If we’re going to raise a generation of strong children and strong families, we must learn to engage our enemy rather than run from him. The good news is that although Satan is a powerful adversary, God is mightier still. If we remain alert and walk in a right relationship with God, we will always have the upper hand over our enemy.

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Zephaniah 3:17. In it, the heart of our Father is seen so clearly:

The Lord your God is living among you.
He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
With his love, he will calm all your fears.
He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.

This verse has been such a comfort to me as I have come to know my Savior. In my own journey to becoming MomStrong, I’ve realized that I can trust God even in the midst of a fierce battle. He is aware of the struggles we face. His heart is for us.

MomStrong moms know that they are engaged in a battle, but they don’t let the fear of the battle distract them from the truth. They know that their children need to see that their mom trusts God no matter what happens in this life.

Precious mom, God understands the magnitude of the struggle you are facing, and He wants you to trust Him even as you raise your children in a frightening world. So take courage! God has already let us know exactly what we can expect from Him as we face trials and struggles. There is nothing we will face that God won’t give us sustaining grace for. He will never leave us or forsake us. He never has, and He never will.

Adapted from Becoming MomStrong: How to Fight with All That’s in You for Your Family and Your Faith by Heidi St. John.

Six years ago, when my blog was starting to take off and I was accepting more speaking opportunities, I realized something. No—that’s not entirely true. It was more like my kids called a meeting. They elected a representative to make their first appeal. Savannah approached me as I was working in the kitchen. “Mom? Can we talk? Would you like some tea?”

I hesitated for a minute.

“Can you sit down for a minute?” she continued. “The kids sent me to talk to you.”

Uh-oh. This could not be good.

“We’ve been talking, and here’s the thing, Mom. You know the Egyptian sarcophagus that we started making last year for world history? Well, we never finished it. And remember that time you said we were going to go on a walk every day and pretend we were explorers like Lewis and Clark? Well, we only went for two walks. And remember . . .?” This went on for what felt like five minutes before she finally concluded, “We don’t think you’re fun anymore.”

In an instant, everything I’d promised God I would work on with my kids—patience, maturity, good listening—was forgotten. I was instantly mad and hurt. I felt like giving up, but instead I just lashed out.

“Oh really?” I said. “Well, right back at you! I don’t think you’re much fun either! When was the last time you offered to help me clean up the sarcophagus mess without being asked? Huh? That’s why I quit! And I didn’t like taking walks every day since all you kids did was argue about who found what first! So I guess it goes both ways, doesn’t it?”

Savannah looked at the floor, avoiding my icy stare. “Well, I guess I’ll tell the kids.” And with that, she got up quietly and left me alone with a baby on my lap and a badly bruised ego. I suppose a good mom would have gone after her and apologized, but I was just so tired. And I confess—I was embarrassed, too. Kids see the real us, don’t they?

In my effort to make everyone happy, it seemed I wasn’t making anyone happy. Including myself. I was struggling to keep up with daily life. I was easily irritated. Things that used to bring me joy no longer did. I needed to hit the reset button.

I know it’s tempting to think we can do it all. But in the past twenty years, I’ve met many gifted moms—bloggers, authors, organic gardeners, homeschool superstars, speakers, nurses, doctors, attorneys, and foster moms—and guess what? I’ve never met one, myself included, who can do it all. Sometimes you just have to let go and trust that God has everything under control. If I were sitting with you right now, I’d look you right in your beautiful mama-eyes and remind you that you can trust God. He has a plan, and I promise, it doesn’t include burning you out and leaving your family resentful and sad.

If we’re going to be strong as mothers, we have to start being honest about where we invest our time and energy. Brutally honest. The rise of antianxiety medication in our culture is telling. It seems that despite all the advantages modern technology affords us, we’re a generation of stressed-out mothers.

As a recovering control freak, I’m here to tell you something: most of the stress in your life comes because you put it there. (Don’t get mad at me!) Let’s think this through for a moment. Sure, there are things that happen that are outside our control. Children get sick. Jobs end. For the most part, the truly bad things that happen to us are unplanned and largely unpreventable. Am I suggesting that you stop buckling your kids into their car seats since we can’t control our futures? Absolutely not. Do what you can—and then live your life in such a way that your children can see where your trust is.

But when we live our lives in a pressure cooker of our own design, what we’re saying to our children is that we don’t believe God is capable of handling the problems and struggles life throws at us. When we believe God is in control of our circumstances, we free ourselves to move from stress into a position of strength. It all comes back to priorities.

So what’s on your plate that shouldn’t be there? What can you remove or hand off to someone else? What outside activities have you committed to that aren’t yielding the return you hoped they would? What have you said yes to without first seeking the Lord? Are your children and husband getting the rest of you . . . or the best of you?

Tired mom, think with me for a minute. How many times have you been “too busy” to pray and access the divine power God wants to give us? How many times have we denied our souls the chance to drink from living water in favor of something else? If we’re honest, this is all too easy to do. It’s easy to become busy and forget that the job of mothering this generation has made us a target for the enemy of our souls.

Listen: Satan is a lot of things, but he’s no dummy. He knows that a weary, worn-out mom is going to be less likely to pray and read her Bible—and this is often where the cycle of fear and weakness begins. For example, have you ever felt the sting that comes from letting your flesh dictate your response to a mouthy child? I have! Oh, how I’ve regretted things I’ve spoken out of a weary, dry soul. When we allow ourselves to believe the lie that we can do this mothering thing apart from the grace of God, weariness starts to settle into the deep places of our hearts.

When I’m frustrated or tired, my human response to stress is often to phone a friend or find counsel from a good book or a speaker. Meanwhile, God is saying, I’m here! Come to Me, and I will give your battle-worn heart a rest. Let Me restore your heart.

The next time life throws you a curveball, stop and pray. Pray with your kids. Pray in the quiet of your own heart. Ask God to cover you, and then live like a woman who believes she is protected and loved. Remember, you’re a daughter of the King, and He wants to spend time with you. Just a few minutes each day reading the Bible and laying your burdens at His feet will make all the difference in the world.

Adapted from Becoming MomStrong: How to Fight with All That’s in You for Your Family and Your Faith by Heidi St. John.