I sat back in my chair, exhausted. I closed my eyes and tried to take in the praise and worship music that was playing. Suddenly I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. Until that moment, I had no idea how burdened I was.

As moms we tend to do that, don’t we? We take responsibility for huge parts of our circumstances and relationships as we navigate our marriages, children, and ministries. Often it feels like more than we can bear.

As I talk to other moms along the way, the one thing we all seem to have in common is guilt and often a heavy dose of condemnation.  Moms with babies worry about things like whether they co sleep, or cloth diaper, or what they feed their little ones. Moms of young children wonder if they are getting an early enough start on school, whether or not their child is keeping up educationally with others their own age or whether they are over protective or not protective enough.

Middle school and high school moms question whether or not they are being too hard on their kids, or not hard enough, letting go too soon or not soon enough. We worry that our kids aren’t going to like us or if we will ever have a peaceful relationship with them again. We say and do things we never thought we would and sometimes, in the heat of the moment, things we regret.

And moms with adult children sometimes see gaps in character or lack of maturity and are painfully aware that it’s too late to be the one to fix it. We feel regret.

Maybe you’re the mom whose family is undergoing great trials…trials you never expected or maybe even ones that you feel that you’ve brought on yourself? Life is HARD. It’s not what you had pictured for your family.

And then it comes…the heavy, wet blanket of condemnation. It’s suffocating. It’s debilitating. It makes us feel hopeless and alone.

And that’s EXACTLY what the enemy wants. Yes, you heard me right. This isn’t what it appears to be. It isn’t about us being the perfect mom, the perfect wife, the perfect friend. This is a spiritual battle that the enemy wages on our souls to do what He does best…steal, kill and destroy. He knows if he can disarm us, or at the very least discourage us, he neutralizes our effectiveness for the kingdom of God.

It’s time to declare war! We need to be persistent in taking back what belongs to us. God said, “So there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.” (Romans 8:1,2)

Did you hear that? NO condemnation. What does He give instead? He gives us His Spirit. He gives us FREEDOM. “So if the son sets you free, you are truly FREE!” (John 8:36)

Free to what? Free to trust God! Free to believe that what He says IS TRUE…”And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” (Romans 8:28)

God knows we are weak. He knows we are dust. He has more than enough grace and power to cover our mistakes. And at the end of the day, when we doubt our decisions, we need to bring that doubt to God, repent if we need to, and ask for His covering. God is the GREAT Redeemer. He can even take what the Enemy intends for evil and turn it into good.

Maybe these feelings are really signals to pray over those specific realms. We need to take those areas we feel condemnation and make them part of our prayer strategy!

And we really need to stop being so harsh with ourselves. We are going to make mistakes. We are going to sin. But the minute we forget that we are saved by grace and are called to continue to live by grace, we give the Enemy a foothold he should never, ever have and, quite frankly, has no right to.

Jesus paid a great price for this freedom we have in Him. It’s ours for the taking. He loves to see us enjoy this gift just like we love to watch our kids enjoy the good gifts we give them.

Be kind to yourself, because HE is. His heart toward you is tender and it is good. Rest in it.

I’m exhausted.

I might even go so far as to say — weary. And the trouble is, I’ve brought about the weariness all on my own.

For the past several years, I have been a work-at-home, homeschooling mom. My work has evolved over those years, from blogging and social media to book launches and writing an eBook. There have been wonderful opportunities and amazing lessons learned. As my experience and reputation grew, so did the project and job offers. I will admit I have had trouble setting boundaries and saying no. These were good people who needed help or encouraged me to write. I love helping others. I enjoy being told I’m indispensable.

But in recent months, there have been new lessons. Lessons about what happens within your own four walls when your family falls behind your work on your list of priorities. Lessons about  what happens to your already compromised health when you don’t make the time to take care of yourself. I am learning lessons about what happens to a life out of balance.

I didn’t see it coming, really.  One day, I was waltzing through my days, feeling successful in all areas, and then the weariness came. It felt sudden, but it wasn’t. The lack of balance snuck up on me. It came from a place of integrity — a desire to succeed by working hard for the folks counting on me. It came from a desire to work as unto the Lord. It hit me like a lead balloon. The people for whom I should have been working the hardest, the ones who really counted on me – they were the ones I was pushing aside.

There’s an old saying: “An entrepreneur is someone who will work sixteen hours a day to keep from working eight hours for someone else.”

This has come to describe me. In my old life as a registered nurse, I loved my work and made a decent income, but my schedule was not my own. As my son grew older and needed me home more, working for myself, from our home, became a more attractive option. I knew I would need to work hard to build a solid reputation in a business that is booming with bloggers trying to get a foot in the door. I was willing to do the work. I just didn’t realize that I would sink into those 16-hour days.

I never intended for things to get so out of control, so out of balance.

I knew that many moms chose to work at home to have more time with their family and then find out they’re spending less and less time with the people who are most important to them. I was aware and on the look-out, but it happened to me anyway.

Are you a work-at-home-mom? My best advice to you is this:

Don’t let your work cost you your family.

So, how do you find a balance between work and other aspects of your life? I have been searching my own heart for answers to that question. And over the past several weeks, I have been making the needed sacrifices work-wise to get everything back into proper balance.

Here are a few lessons I have learned.

Make sure you have the support of your husband and children.

I’ve known a few moms who decided they wanted a work-at-home job to have a little extra spending money. There’s nothing wrong with that, but especially if your income isn’t necessary for the life of your family, be sure your husband is on board. You’re going to need his support at times. Whether your job is necessary for your family or not, be sure your husband and children understand that your job is your job. It’s how you help provide housing, food, clothes, or extras for the family. You’re not playing on Facebook or chatting with friends on the phone. Let them know your needs and expectations, while being sensitive to their requests. They need you, too.

Set office hours and stick to them.

This is hard, but to keep a proper balance between work and family you need to spend time with your family. I literally got to a place where I was logging on to my laptop as soon as I got up in the morning, and logging off just before bed. I don’t recommend that for anyone. Now I have set office hours (and only 4 hours per day). Decide what times you’ll be working and when you’ll stop. This may need to be adjusted for special projects, but for the most part, stick to your schedule. If you want to add a new project, make sure you have time within your set office hours to work on it. If you don’t, then my advice would be to either give up something else you wanted to do, or say no to the new project. If you keep adding things on, you’ll wake up one day realizing you’re working 15 hours a day. I speak from experience.

Try to have a space set up that is for work only.

If you can set up a home office away from the common areas of your home, do so. When you walk away, leave the work behind for the day. Don’t take your laptop into the family room and work. When you’re with your children and your spouse, give them your complete attention. Learn to be in the moment with them, not just a pair of eyes occasionally peeking over the top of the computer screen.

Enlist the help of your family when needed.

If you have a special project coming up that is taken extra time, explain it to your family in advance and ask for their help in letting you complete the project undisturbed. If you have older children, hire them to help care for the younger children (and pay them a fair wage) when you need extra time.  Offer a reward for helping more with chores like cooking meals and laundry. Your children are less likely to resent your time away from them if they feel a part of what you are trying to accomplish. And please, make sure these special projects are few and far between, not your normal.

Don’t procrastinate.

There’s nothing worse than having a few weeks to work on a project and then waiting until the last minute to get started. You’ll snap at your husband and children about how you have to get your work done, but the truth is it’s your fault for waiting so long.

Keeping your appointments with your husband and children is as important as the ones with your clients. If you say you’re going to take the kids on a field trip or to the movies, then do so. When you tell your husband you’re going to hire a babysitter and go out for date night, then follow through. They’ll understand an occasional emergency, but if you make a habit of cancelling on them, they’ll quickly learn they are not your main priority.

Finding balance between your family and your work must be your top priority. Always remember what’s most important, and make the choice to not get so bogged down in day-to-day details of your work that you can’t take time to enjoy life with your family. There is no job worth that.