A Friendship That Lasts

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Proverbs 17:17
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”

Have you ever struggled with loneliness or maintaining friendships? Over the years, I have noticed how sensitive I can be (and I wrote about this recently).  I wrote specifically about the dangers of social media, because thanks to the Internet, we can see things that we were never able to see before: that party that we didn’t get invited to, the women’s ministry team that went out for lunch and I saw pictures of it but never received an offer to join in.

As women, it’s easy to take those things and internalize them. I’ve noticed too, that women in mid-life often struggle with relationships.  As the children grow, the demands on our time change. As the family grows, the dynamics change. The demands on my time are so much greater now than they were when all of our children  were little.  I have five  young children at home and my oldest children are in their early twenties.  The older ones are going through their own sort of growing pains, spreading their wings—and they need me in a different way than the little ones do—all this means that at the end of the day, I’m very tired—and I have less time now for things outside my immediate family than I once did.

Have you been there too?

I’m so glad for friends that understand seasons of life.

As the years pass, I find that the friendships I cherish the most are with those women that I can run and visit with at the drop of a hat.  A dear friend of mine who I may or may not hear from for months at a time will give me me a call just to say, “Hey! I was just praying for you!  Tell me how you’re doing.” Those friendships last.

They last because we choose to believe the best about each other, rather than the worst. We believe the best for each other, too.  If you’re struggling with a friendship today, I want to encourage you to ask the Lord to give you His eyes for your friend.

As many of you know, I have a mantra.  It is “No Drama, Mama!”  I really believe that the Lord would have us extend grace to each other.  If you have a friend who is not “hitting the mark” in your relationship today, ask the Lord to give you His perspective. As Him to give you grace for your friend for that moment and then see what He’ll do.

True friendships are worth it.  They’re worth investing in and they will survive the tough seasons of life.

A friend loves at all times,

Heidi St John Firmly Planted Family Devotional For All Ages

About Heidi St. John

Heidi has been married to her husband Jay since 1989. Together they have seven children and two grandsons! The St. Johns' children range in age from early elementary school to adult. They have homeschooled the kids all the way through high school. Heidi is the founder of MomStrong International, an online community of women learning to live biblically in an unbiblical world together .

8 thoughts on “A Friendship That Lasts

    1. That’s exactly what I needed to hear! I have been going through that also… I feel that The Lord is saying that it’s not the right time for me to have friendships that I really want! I have 11 years old daughter and 8 years old son. I have been married for 12 years.

  1. Thank you so much for this. I was just laying in bed last night sulking and grumbling to God about this very thing. Slap me! I have needed grace MANY times as a friend. I should be extending plenty to others.

  2. Love this!! Thank you so much for sharing! The pic you posted reminded me of a poem I wrote. Always a good reminder to focus on WHO connects us rather than the things that divide us!!

    “Different, yet the Same”
    She loves pickles. I can’t stand them.
    She has a pet parakeet. Birds scare me.
    She leads a worship team. I can’t sing.
    She runs her own business. I’m a farmer’s wife.
    She graduated in nineteen something. I was born the same year.
    She’s been married for three decades. We just celebrated 12 years.
    Her youngest just graduated college. Mine hasn’t left the crib.

    We are different, yet we’re the same.

    Our love of basketball brought us together.
    We understand the importance of motherhood.
    We enjoy listening to others.
    We believe things happen for a reason.
    We share a love for God.
    We are sisters in Christ.
    We worship the same Father in heaven.

  3. About 5 minutes ago I was having a conversation with my hubby about a remark that one of my very best friends made to me. His reply was to let it go. Easier said than done! After checking my email and seeing this post, I know that God also wants me to LET IT GO. My friend probably has no idea that what she said has bothered me. Our friendship means more than causing a drift over a possible misunderstanding. Thank you for being obedient and allowing the Lord to speak through you – to someone who really needed to “hear.” I’m always amazed at God’s perfect timing. He provides just what I need RIGHT when I need it.:)

  4. Well said. In the past year I too have struggled with friendships for the exact same reasons you wrote about. I pushed people away because I just couldn’t see where some friends were fitting in my life. Due to a recent family loss God has been able to help me see these friends through His eyes and I am so grateful for that. I now know that I need to see everybody for what God intended for them…not what I need them to be.

  5. Awesome post… you hit the nail on the head again. I definitely agree that social media can be very hurtful… when you see photos of friends out at a birthday celebration, or out at lunch, etc, and you weren’t invited. When you see friends of your kids out doing things where they weren’t invited, etc. I know these things will happen – that’s life – but when we were younger, at least we didn’t have the social media to SEE those things. Grace is something we all need. Great reminder to ask God to let me see those who hurt me (whether on purpose or not, or just my own insecurities) through HIS eyes. That makes all the difference! Blessings!

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