Category Archives: Homeschooling

When You Can’t Get It “All” Done: Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist

The other day, a sweet mom in Harrisburg asked me, “What does your day look like?” In other words, “HOW DO YOU GET IT ALL DONE?” I love this question, because it allows me to be totally transparent with whomever I’m talking to, and hopefully, speak a little freedom at the same time.

Basically, I have two answers for that particular Busy Mom FAQ:

1) I have a book (and a workshop on CD) about that called, The Busy Homeschool Mom’s Guide to Daylight! Really, you should check it out … it’s full of ideas and encouragement for busy moms like you! 🙂

2) While there are many practical tips for getting things done, I hesitate to tell you how I do it ALL. Why? Because the reality is that I don’t do “it all.” Not even close. No one does.

I am a recovering perfectionist. “Type A” at my core. It’s easy for me to judge the inside of my life by the outside of someone else’s. I see “that mom” who’s blogging and homeschooling and pinning her latest frugal fashion finds and I think, “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I be like that?” Can you relate?

If you can, be encouraged, because no one is doing it all. They’re really not. Pictures only tell a nano-second of the real story; the rest goes unseen—and the rest of the story is this: Pinterest Perfect Mom isn’t getting it all done either, because she doesn’t exist.

Of course, it’s important to get things done—but how these things get done will look different in each family, each year, each season, and likely even for each child. And that’s okay. You don’t have to try and be SuperMom. You just need to be surrendered.

Only God knows exactly the plans He has for you – and the best way to find out what that plan is… is to listen.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

Don’t you love that? I do, because it means I’m free to seek God’s heart for my family—free to stop comparing my life to that woman I think is “super mom” and free to be all that God has created me to be.

Are you listening to that “still, small voice?” It’s so hard to be still, but it is a requirement if we’re going to hear from God in this bustling, busy world.

Shhh. He’s still speaking.

Spring Home School Burnout

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The weather is getting warmer, summer is almost here. It’s the last leg of the school year and I’m ready to throw in the towel and give up! This is our 18th year of homeschooling and it happens every year: the exciting days of fall, when I had high hopes of all that we would accomplish, have been buried under hopelessness. Reality is a harsh task master and it’s reminding me that we simply are NOT going to get it all done.

You would think that by now I would be immune to this annual event. I’m not. It has faded some, but still seems to rear its ugly head. Are you feeling the same way? Let’s take a minute, really think about this, and consider some things:

First of all, do you remember WHY you started to home school in the first place? For us, it was because we felt like we could give our kids a love for learning by letting them school more naturally, according to their giftings and interests. We wanted to protect them from influences that did not instill the values in them that we held important. We wanted to spend more time together as a family. We wanted flexibility. We wanted to prepare our kids for real life by living real life with them. Most of all we wanted our children to come into ownership of their own walks with God.

Are any of these your reasons? Did you notice that NONE of them had any direct correlation to curriculum? And yet, at the end of the day, it’s SO hard not to measure our homeschooling in terms of pages finished and projects completed.

God works in a very different economy. It’s hard to remember that. But He really does. His greatest concern is for our hearts, and as moms, that should be our greatest concern for OUR children. Are you seeing growth in your children’s souls? Are they learning HOW to think, rather than WHAT to think? Do they still love learning? Are the relationships within your family, for the most part, peaceful and healthy?

And how about you, Mom? Do you think YOU need to change to become what your children need or do you believe that you are uniquely qualified for this job? That you were made, by God’s design, to be these children’s mother and, they, to be YOUR children? Do you think that you need to figure everything out or that there is a perfect plan already in place? Do you believe that the results must measure up to expectations or that the results are on HIS shoulders? That you are responsible for everything, or that you are part of a team?

God loves our kids more than we do. Our job is to trust Him and do the next thing. He truly is good and faithful. So let’s take some time to breathe a prayer of thanks, rest in Him and enjoy our kids!

Tips On Choosing Curriculum Without Going Broke

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I’m trying to answer some questions I get asked as I get to visit with moms around the country. Last week I answered the question, “How do you get it all done?”

Today, I’ll pull back the curtain on how I choose curriculum for our kids each year. Hopefully, after 17 years of homeschooling, I’ve got a few ideas that will help you avoid some of the ditches I stumbled into!

Little Tip: Whatever you choose needs to be good for both your child and you.
If you don’ t love it, you’ll struggle to teach it.

If you have homeschooled for more than five minutes or done even one internet search in your consideration of homeschooling, you know there is a very long list of curricula out there for you to try. It can be overwhelming. It’s easy to spend too much money in a panic to find just the right program. Here’s the thing: a good homeschool education doesn’t have to be expensive. It shouldn’t break the bank, either.

If you’re just starting your homeschool journey—DON’T PANIC. You don’t need a lot of curriculum. If your kids are very young, you don’t need more than one or two books. We love simple in our home. Our lives are very busy by definition and so when it comes to schooling,

Little Tip: Choose a curriculum that will compliment your lifestyle, not compete with it.
Try not to overthink it.

Are you still curious? Here are a few of my favorite things:

Beginning Reading:

Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons – I’ve used this for years and years and all our children are excellent readers. You don’t need anything but pencil and paper to go with this book. I’d suggest doing the writing assignments that go with each lesson. Don’t spend too much time on any lesson in this book. No more than 30 minutes including writing time.

Bob Books for Early Readers – Bob books are our favorite transition from 100 Easy Lessons. We try and do one booklet each day and write a little, too.

Math:

We’ve tried every math program out there. I hesitate to tell you which one we landed on but I do love Teaching Textbooks for grades 7 and up. I also love a little handheld math quizzer called “Flash Master.” It does all the basic math facts in several different formats. We’ve had ours for years and it was well worth the investment.

Life of Fred has literally made our eight-year-old enjoy math. ‘nuf said.

Science:

3-8th grade: I love the Apologia Young Explorer series. You can use them in so many ways and they read like a great story. And yes, I’ve used them with several of our kids through the 8th grade. We simply give more challenging assignments as they get older.

*note: I have a friend who has homeschooled her kids forever w/out picking up a formal science book until they were in high school. Of her three kids, one is a doctor, one an attorney and one a teacher. They did just fine.

High school writing

I’m a fan of IEW – Institute in Excellence for Writing. Check it out. I don’t do this for our younger kids because they love to write already and I do too—but as they get into high school, we do IEW and love it. (The link is to the author’s page.)

Unit Studies

For grades 3 and up, you can’t beat YWAM Christian Heroes Series. They are my favorite tool for teaching geography, history and social studies. One six dollar book not only gives your kids a window into another culture, but teaches them about people who followed God in the most incredible ways. I love them!

Five in a Row takes wonderful children’s literature and makes a unit study out of it. It’s brilliantly written, inexpensive and easy to use for preschoolers through about 6th grade. If you love learning with your children while you snuggle up on the couch, this is for you!

Check these resources out too:

Pocketful of Pinecones by Karen Andreola is a great reminder of what education can look like. She also wrote A Charlotte Mason Companion which I loved.

I suppose I could go on and on about this, so if you have a specific question please let me know. I’d love to hear what’s working for you.

At the end of the day and regardless of what curricula you land on, keep in mind that the curriculum is there to help you, not to take over for you. You are the teacher—and you can do it!

No curriculum can be a substitute for God’s gentle leadership in your homeschool.

So before you spend hundreds of dollars thinking you have found the miracle curriculum that will make homeschooling simple, remember the promise God makes in Matthew 11:28 –

My yoke is easy and My burden is light.

Homeschooling should be a joy. It should not run you over and leave you for dead. If you’re already overwhelmed by the curriculum or program you chose, it may be time to prayerfully consider another way. ♥

You can do this, busy mom! Enjoy your kids!

xoxo, Heidi

Shop Heidi’s Amazon Store for Homeschool resources, recommendations, and more!

Help for the Introverted Homeschool Mom

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With all the talk these days on introverts and extroverts I began to suspect that I, myself, might be an introvert. After digging around on line a bit, my suspicions were confirmed.

Signs That You May be an Introvert

Introverts are stereotypically shy and awkward. This is not necessarily the case. Introvertedness is more of a temperament, kind of like a personality style that just varies from person to person. The fact that introverts prefer quiet does not necessarily mean that they are shy. I personally really like meeting and getting to know people – just in small doses.

Might you be an introvert? Here are some common traits:

1. Introverts are easily overstimulated and prefer quiet, relatively unstimulating environments.

2. Introverts need time alone to recharge their batteries.

3. Introverts find small talk tedious, preferring deep, philosophical conversations.

4. Introverts don’t like to be surrounded and will often sit at the end of a room so that they can easily get up and move.

5. Introverts shut down after being active for too long.

One can easily see after reading this list that an introverted homeschool mom is going to be particularly challenged by her occupation! Introverts are easily exhausted from too much stimulation, whether it be from being out and about too much or from being home with all. of. those. kids. So what is a loving introverted mom of many to do?

Helps for the Introverted Mom of Many

1. Implement a daily Mom’s Morning Routine. Carving out quiet time in a busy household requires some creativity and planning. Try setting your alarm for 1 hour before anyone else in the house wakes up. Although this may take some getting used to, this daily time of quiet helps me to get my batteries fully charged before the busyness of the day. With this time for morning devotions, prayer (and coffee) my tank is filled.

2. Implement a daily Quiet Time routine. In our home, every afternoon has a designated time of quiet where all members of the household are required to engage in mellow (quiet) activities. When kids outgrow their nap times – kids have ‘quiet time’ instead. Our older kids read or study during this time while our younger kids are in their rooms either sleeping playing quietly. There are all kinds of ideas online for fun quiet time activities if you need some ideas to get you started.

3. Keep white space on your calendar. After one too many exhausting days out running from one activity to another, I made an effort this year to keep my calendar clear. Learn to say ‘no’ to requests to commit to activities that may over extend you. Find carpools or kid swap, occasionally offering to take another family’s kids and vice versa) so that you can spend less time running around.

4. Engage your kids in conversations. You may be surprised at the thoughtful responses you will get. Discuss ideas that you have been thinking about or spiritual lessons that you have been learning in your own life. I find this to be a big part of my call to teach them as I go (Deuteronomy 6).

5. Play quiet, soothing music during the day. My favorite – baroque adagios. This style of music has even been associated with brain growth in those who listen to it.

6. Date nights and grocery shopping. I have been surprisingly refreshed by simple things like going to the grocery store alone or a weekly date night with my husband.

Motherhood can be exhausting whether you are an introvert or not. Carving out time for quiet throughout your day can be just the thing to keep your batteries recharged.

How about you? How have you managed being surrounded by noise while being a person who thrives in quiet?

When Family Disapproves Of Homeschooling

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I must admit, I wasn’t too shocked when I got the phone call from my mother-in-law voicing her concerns about my decision to pull my then 5th grader and 3rd grader out of public school to teach them at home. I mean, we had just moved to this state and extensively researched the school districts we were going to build our house near.

I remember it like it was yesterday, me still in the drivers seat trying to explain to her that it was a calling I had to obey! Heck, I didn’t know how I was going to do it, let alone try and explain to others the methods to our madness. All I knew was that God had called me and I chose to obey. I chose to beg and plead and TRUST that He would equip me with what I needed to take us down this path.

Fast forward 6 years and she doesn’t blink at it. She sees that her seven grandchildren are happy, healthy, EDUCATED and socialized…. she even laughs because she always brags at how much we do and how excited our kids are to go to co-op every week… You don’t see that many public students blasting social media with that much excitement about learning…

But she took the time to hold off judgement and see exactly what ” being homeschooled” meant. Now, she is my biggest supporter (and defender).

I would love to say that I escaped the prejudice and ridicule from the ones closest to me, but we haven’t. Some family still will never agree, more for the fact that they have never taken the time to actually ask me what it means to homeschool, why we do it or what we do. But that’s ok, I guess. It won’t change the view my husband and I share on it, nor will it affect our vision. God entrusted these children to me and at the end of the day, the parents always know best.

I know many of you have gone through similar experiences or perhaps are going through them right now. All I can say is hold on tight. Don’t lose that hope and vision that God has spoken to you. If he brought you to it, He will bring you through. It’s a promise and God never breaks his promises!

“Now he who supplies seed to the farmer and bread to eat will also supply you with seed and multiply it and enlarge the harvest that results from your righteousness.” 2 Corinthians 9:10

Over time, they will see that your kids survived and became productive members of society, they can read and write and even do arithmetic. They usually graduate high school with a higher self esteem and awareness ready to take that next step in life, because MOM has prepared them for what life has to offer. Many form businesses and community connections way before their 20th birthday, and every bit of information from the Museum, Zoo, Historical Landmark can be quoted from memory because while public students visited once, homeschooled children have been weekly guests.

They WILL be socialized- more than you can ever imagine- with more people than you can ever imagine- because homeschoolers actively seek out others. We are a strong community that comes to each others’ aid at a moments notice. An underground world that’s bursting with opportunity and wonder. We plan “school time” around our social calendar, and when we go to co-op, the kids have classes with other kids of ALL ages.

Most of us spend the spring traveling to different homeschool conventions to and fro. Meeting our favorite authors and shaking the hands of the writers from our favorite curriculum. Moms load up their 15 passenger vans with every type of book, game, embalmed animal and science kits they can get their hands on. The sight of moms and dads pulling wagons FULL of those treasures would make any public school teacher drool with envy, because WE get to pick what we like. WE get to buy any book that makes our brains burst with eagerness to learn.

“Is it possible homeschooling can work?”

I love to share our world with others, especially the critics- although some critics can never be satisfied. In that case, lay the fight down and walk away. It’s just not worth it. People are scared of what they don’t know and understand and sometimes it’s not up to us to make them understand. Just continue looking up and God will lead you victoriously down the road less traveled.

XOXO

When a Homeschool Mom Needs Her Knight-in-Shining-Armor

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photo credit: NikelleBennettePhotography

On a Friday afternoon recently, my hubby called to see how my day was going… Instantly, my mind was transported back to the morning. That moment when I just sat there at co-op – with my head in my hands, so frustrated. My boys had been pretty disrespectful and while it had been addressed, I was feeling discouraged. You know, one of those “will they ever get it” and a “This is the fun part of learning. If you don’t want fun, I can glue you all to your seats reading textbooks, if you’d prefer” kind of day.

That evening, my hubby resolutely walked in the garage door and called for our boys. And in that moment, I fell in love with him all over again…

He calmly, but firmly told the boys that they weren’t allowed to treat his wife the way they had that morning. Because of their attitudes, there would be another consequence the following morning. Boys sat stiff, intently listening to dad.

Bright and early, he took our boys outside to the weed infested yard {spring comes early here in the desert} and charged them with pulling all of the weeds in our front yard, since dishonor had taken root in their hearts. Those boys, with tender fingers and tired bodies, learned a valuable lesson that day.

Respect and honor are important.
Disrespect will not be tolerated.
Don’t mess with Mom or you deal with Dad.
Marriage matters.

Homeschooling is hard work. And there are days when I’m tempted to throw in in the towel. But when that Knight-in-Shining-Armor rides up to my defense, I realize that we are in this adventure together. The lessons our children learn extend far beyond just the academics and the role my husband plays is vitally important. And when we stick together on this, our marriage comes out stronger. This is good not only for us, but for our children too.

I’m talking about more ways a husband can support his wife in homeschooling over on my blog, Cultivated Lives, if you want to come visit.

Delight-Directed Learning for ANY Homeschool — Part Three (Plan a Field Trip)

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Welcome back to my series on how to add delight-directed learning to ANY homeschool? Did you catch the first 2 installments? If not, please do click over to read Part One and Part Two!

This month, my tip may take just a tad bit more planning, but your students will love it!

Notice what has piqued the interest of your student and then plan a field trip based on that interest.

Last year, we were studying about the Civil War, but the part that really interested my son the most were the battles themselves. We are fortunate to live in a state with battle sites, so we sought opportunities to stop and visit them when we had the chance. As it happened, our state historical society also had a Civil War exhibit we could visit. We even planned our summer vacation to include a visit to Fort Sumter.

You don’t have to go to such great lengths to plan a field trip that will add delight to your homeschool. A simple visit to the zoo to visit the polar bears during your study of the arctic tundra or a tour of your State Capitol while learning about elections will suffice. In fact, there are so many ways to plan a field trip you might never have thought about!

Once, when my son was completely obsessed with dogs, I called the local animal shelter and asked for a tour. They were thrilled to accommodate us and I ended up planning an event for our local homeschool group. The animal shelter did a fantastic job of teaching the kids all about dogs, including safety measures, breeds, and responsible animal control. Of course, they also got to play with the puppies after!

When my son was younger, like many little boys, he went through a period of being completely obsessed with jobs that required a uniform — firemen, paramedics, police officers, mailmen. I ended up planning a several week-long unit study on community workers. In one afternoon, I was able to make phone calls to all of these local offices to schedule a meeting with our local community workers. Ben was in heaven as he put on the full firemen gear, turned on the lights and siren in an ambulance, and climbed inside a police car.

Planning delight-directed field trips is limited only by your child’s curiosity and your creative planning. And they add a measure of learning to homeschooling unmatched by any book or curriculum. Any time you can add a hands-on experience on top of following the passions of your child, real learning — the kind that runs deep — will happen.

It may require a little planning to pull off a delight-directed field trip, but the memories made are more than worth the effort. Besides, great field trips are fun for the mom, too!

So, tell me . . . what field trips are you planning for your homeschool in the coming weeks?

Heidi St. John

Speaking the Truth in Love