Tag Archives: road trip

For Better or Worse … but Never For Granted

for_better_or_worse

 

Good morning, busy mom!

We are now in Ludington, MI.  When we rolled into Indianapolis the day before, it was midnight. And we were crabby! It wasn’t pretty — but this is the “busy season” for our family, and God seems to give us just enough grace for each other every day.  Just enough. Unless we push too hard, or go too long without rest. Then, things can get ugly.

It reminded me a season of life we were in several years ago, where the Lord spoke to me about the importance of keeping my heart in tune to the heartbeat of our marriage.  See if you can relate:

It had been a busy day.

Nevermind.

It had been a busy month. Meetings, schoolwork, deadlines, family needs, doctor appointments–unplanned emergencies–unwanted drama, un-invited stress.

Unintended consequences.

If the world could spin any faster, I’m sure I would have been flung right off.

sierra_fair

My Type A, scheduling self was not enjoying this.  I was repeating the phrase “bend, don’t break” as I went from the car to the kitchen to the laundry room.  I spied a bag of clothing that I had forgotten to take to Goodwill.  “Shoot! That’s the third time I’ve left the house for something and forgotten that bag!”

I muttered to myself  as I walked into the office to sort paperwork. “Stop the ride! I want to get off!” My husband looked up at me from his desk.  I saw the same weariness in his eyes that I felt. It was as if his eyes were reflecting mine.

Tired. Worn-out. Weary.

It had been several weeks since we had really enjoyed any quality time together. According to the calendar, there were no quiet evenings coming up in our future, either.  Worse yet, we could not even manage a quiet evening in!  The toddlers were up early, the teens were up late… and somewhere between toddlers and teenagers, our marriage was taking a hit.

It was clear that things were ot as they should be, and our relationship was beginning to show signs of the strain we were under.  We were short with each other. Our conversations lacked grace. The end of the day found us falling into bed exhausted. (Insert tired expression here that says “I love you … but not tonight.”)

sierra_candle

Trouble was, there was no “white space” in our lives. We had made our regular commitments, and life had filled in the rest of the “white space” on my calendar-without asking permission!

If you’ve heard me speak before, you know how I feel about having at least two days of nothing on my calendar each week.  I call it “white space”, and  I try to protect those free days because no white space on our calendar = no margin in our lives.

And no margin = trouble.

Does this sound familiar? It’s easy to let it happen.  Sometimes, we can prevent it, and sometimes, we can’t. When life gets a little nutty, we take it for granted that eventually things will slow down.  But the older my kids get, the more I’m realizing that if I am not intentional about taking time out of my busy life to nurture my marriage, my husband and I run the risk of living parallel lives.

You see, the fact that we have a good marriage now doesn’t protect us from ending up with a bad marriage down the road.  I know — because I’ve seen it happen, over and over again.

sierra_lavendarrose

Most marriages end because of neglect. We just take it for granted that our spouse will always be there, that we’ll have time “next week.”  But more dangerous than unintentional neglect is the kind we do on purpose: we say things like “after the kids are grown” we’ll have time to invest in our marriage.

It’s one of the biggest traps we can fall into, this “for granted” trap. We take it for granted that

  • Our marriage will always be strong
  • Pornography will never be a problem
  • Our husbands always “understand” how tired we are (so we don’t have the conversation)
  • Adultery will not be part of our lives
  • “Next week” things will get easier or slow down

Marriage matters. It’s important.  And we can’t just put this precious relationship on auto-pilot for extended periods of time and expect things to be okay.

But we do.  We forget that our marriages, like tender plants, need tending.

sierra_flower

Yes, there are seasons where we need extra amounts of patience and grace.  (I’m in one right now, as we travel in our van from convention to convention with our kids.)

Yes, life is always changing–and we need to flex and change with it.

But let’s not take our marriages for granted. Let’s keep them strong and healthy – on purpose! Here are three ways we can keep your marriage strong through the seasons of quiet and busy that inevitably come:

  • Be intentional about carving out time for each other – make time on purpose.
  • Keep your finger on the pulse of your marriage (If the pulse is weak, pay attention!)
  • Learn to speak each other’s love language.  (My husband responds best to me when I speak love in the language he understands best, and love it when he speaks to me in my love language!)

Marriage is a precious relationship – and we’re in it, for better or worse.

But never, never for granted.

Blessings on your marriage, busy mom!
heidi

 

Heidi St John Guide to Romance

Looking for Joy?

 

Remember that old Johnny Lee  song “Looking For Love?”  It’s from a just-as-old movie called “Urban Cowboy” from what I’ve been told.  🙂

johnnylee

I don’t think I’ve heard that song in years but for some reason as I was loading the van to hit the road to Spartanburg this morning, it was playing in my mind. Maybe you’ll recognize the lyrics:

I thought it was funny …

I was looking for love in all the wrong places
Looking for love in too many faces (grumpy, tired faces this morning)
Searching thier eyes looking for traces (any hint, really)
What I’m dreaming of

So here’s what I was dreaming of …

  • cooperation
  • good attitudes
  • the breakfast genie to show up
  • a little less pollen
  • ____ fill in the blank

I was looking for joy in all the wrong places 🙂  Or the  illusion of joy anyway.  🙂

Sierra_sydney

And then I remembered–the devil likes to lie about stuff.  He lies about joy.

He’ll tell you money will make you happy. But it won’t.  And it’s not the money, it’s the pursuit of it.  Because joy, true JOY, is not found in power, passion or possessions.  Or even in my kids obeying with a smile on their face.

(But that would have been extra-great this morning.)

syd_jump

It’s found in a personal relationship with God.

Satisfaction is found in the Lord and in His Word.

Joy will never be found under the sun … but above it … where God is. 

Today, busy mom, let’s keep our joy in plain sight. Let’s fix our eyes on Jesus, and run the race that’s set before us with the joy that comes  from following Jesus.

Remember those trees that are “firmly planted?”  They’re rooted in Christ!

Sierra_roadWilliamsburg

Lean into Him while you do laundry for the millionth time.  Talk to Him about your kids. Ask Him to show you how to love your husband.

He has something to say to you.

Looking for joy? He’ll show you where to find it. And where joy is, strength is.

“The joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10b

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Heidi St John Guide to Daylight

Nothing Worth Doing is Ever Easy -Including Homeschooling

Tired.

Exhausted, really.  Some days, we wake up and we seriously don’t know where we are. Texas?  Florida? Tennessee? Louisiana? Michigan? Kentucky?

You see, the inside of the RV looks the same every morning.  Often times, we pull into a site late at night.  So it is quite often a surprise to the kids to see where we are.  This morning, we started the day in Niagara Falls, NY.  Tonight, we’ll end the day in Ludington, MI.

As I type this, the kids are settling in for six more hours on the road.  A movie is playing. RV is gassed up and tummies are full.  It’s a good feeling.

Got a lot on your plate?

But in case you get that “wouldn’t it be nice to RV with our kids” feeling, I’ve gotta admit: it’s not easy.  Just a few hours ago, kids were crying, dad was stressing, cars were cutting us off, cell phones were ringing, baby was crying and a half-gallon of orange juice was spilling behind the couch.  But that’s just this afternoon.

That brings me to homeschooling.  It’s not easy.  And anyone who has been at it for more than a week knows it.  It’s not a secret that homeschool moms sacrifice their time and energy (and sometimes, their sanity!) in order to educate their kids at home.  More often than not, homeschool moms share many things in common: her pastor thinks she’s crazy,  her mom wonders what she did wrong and  her best friend is always trying to talk her into putting her kids in school so she can “have a life.” As  my dear friend Steve Lambert says, “Only homeschool moms would choose to be LOCKED UP all day with little people while the rest of the civilized world sends their kids off to be taken care of by someone else!”

So true.  It is a sacrifice. It’s hours of work, days on end.  And just like everything else worth doing in this life, we are looking far down the road. Successful homeschool moms are not looking at today.  They’re looking years down the road. They know that the sacrifice they are making today will, Lord willing, pay huge dividends in the future.

Yes, it’s worth it, homeschool mom!  At the end of the day you won’t find a more worthy calling as a mom than to homeschool your kids. And really, nothing worth doing is EVER easy.  Take marriage for example.  Or parenting. Or being an entrepreneur. It’s difficult.  But stick with it … and one day …you’ll get to see that your little tree bears fruit. Fruit that has an impact into eternity.

You see, for the Christian parent, homeschooling provides an amazing opportunity for for you to disciple your children.  To have them by your side, to teach them of God’s love – to show them- what it looks like to “stay the course” even when it’s difficult … these are lessons that homeschooling will help you teach without making one lesson plan.

If you’re wondering if it’s going to be a pain in the neck at times, well, it is.  But if you’re looking for a lifetime investment that will yield dividends far into the future, then homeschooling is for you.

Stick with it, busy mom!  Fruit takes time to grow. But in due season, you’ll reap a harvest of JOY for the sacrifice you’re making now.

It’s worth it!
heidi

 
Heidi St John Guide to Daylight

Baby, It’s HOT Outside!

Currently: heading to Hebron, Kentucky in the dark. ’cause it’s cooler in the dark.
Next stop: The Creation Museum
Next speaking engagement: Nashville, TN on the 11th @6pm

Howdy, y’all!

Turns out, you can breathe in 80% humidity.  But not very well. And it also turns out the the RV

FC Directors

Heidi with Esther (director of FC in Pineville, LA) and Janet (director of FC in NW Houston)  We spoke in Louisiana and got to meet many FCHM leaders there.  It was such a blessing!

does NOT like the heat.  In fact, the generator just flat-out quits when it gets too hot.  And then, we get too hot.  Apparently the generator is not well ventilated and when it gets hot outside it just can’t keep up.  So we have traveled most of our trip with spotty AC.  It goes when we’re parked, but not when we’re moving.  HUGE. BUMMER.  Typical enemy-type stuff, too.  Seems he’s getting a lot of mileage (pardon the pun) out of crippling our RV.

As you might imagine, we’re learning a lot through this trial! I’ve learned that we don’t get along very well when we’re hot.  It would be fair to say we’re downright awful to each other at times. Being hot and sticky is NOT good for family togetherness, no matter what they say on those resort commercials.

We’re also learning how to deal with the heat a little better.  A little.

We’ve been very encouraged by what God is doing as we travel and speak. It’s always humbling to be part of something that God is already doing in the life of someone else. This trip, we have spoken with many people who were just in need of a little “shot in the arm” as they head into a new school year– and we’ve also spoken with parents on the brink of divorce. Truly, these families need the support of their local church.

Leaving the Roemer’s house in Sacramento. Scott and Patty direct First Class in Folsom.

SPENCER, our 10 year old son, continues to raise money for Options 360 as we travel.  We’re so proud of him!  He has made speeches in front of as many as 100+ and as few as 10 but his enthusiasm and passion for defending the unborn shines the same each time he speaks.  In Alabama, he met a mom who told him that she decided not to have an abortion because of an ultrasound.  This made Spencer’s day because he’s pretty sure he has raised enough money to provide 10 ultrasounds!  It’s exciting to see him boldly speak to a group of grownups … and also humbling.

What’s behind us: Just finished speaking in Oklahoma City, Atmore, Alabama, Pineville, Louisiana, Panama City and tonight, Jacksonville, FL.  What a week. And it’s not going to slow down now for a little while.

What’s ahead of us: We’ll be in Nashville by Thursday, then on to eastern Tennessee, Maryland, Virginia and Michigan where we’ll wrap up the trip.

We’ve hit the truly truly busy part of our trip, speaking twice a week until we end up at Maranatha Family Camp in Muskegon, Michigan the third week of August.  We will be more than ready for the cooler Michigan temps, too!

Saylor Jane, 8 months

What I wake up to every morning 🙂

People ask us about traveling all the time and want to know what it’s like: well … it’s really good and it can be really bad all at the same time.  The heat makes us crabby, but the people we meet encourage us.  Our kids help at every stop … from book sales to answering curriculum questions they are very involved.  Savannah is always getting questions from parents eager to know how she is doing in college, given the fact that she was homeschooled through high school and it’s always good to hear how she graciously answers questions and calms the fears of new homeschooling parents.

SAYLOR JANE, our 8 month old is growing like  a weed as we travel! I think the humidity is good for her!  🙂  She outgrew her cute little bassinet so we had to dismantle it and mail it home. She went from sitting up to crawling AND she waves to people now! So sweet. We are loving this season of her precious little life as well.  She makes us all laugh every day.

Overall we’re doing well.  God has ways of refreshing our spirits even when we are tired and grumpy.  He’s good that way. 🙂  We have stayed in homes of strangers who become friends and we’ve shared life with old friends we see at homeschool conventions.

Also, everywhere we go, we meet wonderful “accidental” homeschoolers like ourselves.  We’re so grateful for the opportunity to speak to them and hopefully, bring  a little glimpse of God’s heart for them along the way.

I can’t close this entry without a little quote, either 🙂

Sydney asked where we were heading tonight.  When I told her Kentucky, she said, “Do they have kids there?”  She thought Kentucky was a seminar stop, and not a state!

From the Road to Kentucky,

heidi

Heidi St John Guide to Romance

Heidi St John Guide to Daylight

Overheard …

A friend of mine suggested that I try to keep track of comments we hear in the RV.  Turns out we are a pretty funny family…. very ordinary but funny in our own way.  See if you agree… 🙂

“Sydney! Get out of the baby’s carseat! Summer, put Saylor back in it.”

“Quick! Someone get daddy a napkin! His ice-cream bar just fell apart in his lap.  Nevermind.  Bring him 100 napkins and a spray bottle!”

“Are we there yet?”   “No.  We have like eleven hours to go.”    …  “Oh.  Does that mean I can get out the playdough?” …. NO.

“Where’s Spencer?”

“Look!!!  Fireflies!!!”

“It’s hot.  Is this what God is trying to keep people from when they die?”  🙂  …  Spencer: “No, but it might be similar because it doesn’t cool off at night.”

Sydney, commenting on all the rocks spread randomly over the sand dunes and desert floor in AZ: “This is where God puts the rocks that He doesn’t know what to do with.”

“Can I have another Otter Pop?”

“Mom, there are nice people everywhere.”

“Can we go home soon?”

“It’s a good thing we can trust God.”

“Some truck stops are sketchy. Like little New Orleans islands.”

“Daaaadddyyyyy!  Skylar took the iPad again!”

“Has anyone seen Sydney’s flip flops?”  (Actually this gets asked several times a day.)

“I feel sticky.”

Sydney (age 5) “One time, I punched Skylar in the nose. It did not go well with him.”

Mom: “Let’s play the quiet game!”  Kids: “What do we win?”  Dad: “You get to keep on living.”

“I love you.”

“Can we go to Costco?  It feels like home in there.”

“History is better than Disneyland!”

“I have a new friend… she is homeschooled, too!”

Hot. Hot. Hot.

Traveling south? Expect some heat.

“Am I six yet?”

“I love that there are First Class co-ops all over the entire universe!”

“The sky out here is really big.”

“Has anyone seen my giant grasshopper??”   ….  !!!!!

“Daddy! Even the cold water is hot here!”

Overheard at homeschool conventions:

Me to Todd Wilson:  “What do you do with your kids at all these homeschool conventions?”  Todd: “We call them ‘Children of the Hall’ .”  Me:  Yes!  That’s it!!!

“Mom, can we go to the Timberdoodle booth again?  They’re nice.”

“Kids! Which booth did that come from?  Take it back.”

“Look mom!  They have hats that say, ‘Homeschool Girl!’ And that’s who I AM!!!”

“Is that YOU on the cover of your book?”  Me: “Yes, I color my hair to keep things interesting for Jay.”  🙂  That way he gets a whole new girl every time I come home from the salon!”

Spencer: “Mom, Ken Ham is speaking in the big room. I just love his point of view. Can I go and listen to him talk about the dinosaurs?”

Jay: “Heidi, did you need me to hook your computer up for the workshops?”  Me:  “Yes – did I mention that you are my hero?”

The Petrified Forest: Even the ROCKS cry out!


Heidi St John Guide to Daylight
 

 

 

Ready, Set … GO! (and a great little story)

Tow truck takes our old RV away

God has a wonderful way of shepherding His kids.

I have come to believe that He loves to put His unique fingerprint on certain times in our lives just so that we remember it’s really all about Him.

For those of you who are new to our ministry and family blog, I’ll do a quick recap: In 2009, we took the RV that you see here on a road trip across the United States.  Our purpose was to encourage homeschool co-ops and to speak to parents and pastors about homeschooling.

We traveled from WA to VA and home again, and we saw God show Himself faithful in every circumstance we found ourselves in. From protection during a robbery in New Orleans to a miraculous connection in Williamsburg, Virginia, God made His presence known to us.

That little RV went through a lot too. When we were 30 miles away from home, the transmission on the RV gave out. *poof*.

Kaput.

Fini.

Done.

Thanks for the memories!

That was the last time we drove it.  Friends drove up and helped us unpack it at a rest area near Longview, WA. Since that August afternoon, our little RV has been sitting in a parking lot waiting for it’s next adventure.

On Tuesday, we felt the Lord was telling us it was time to list the RV for sale, and so we put it up on Craigslist. Itsold within 10 minutes. Thursday,  just hours before we left on our new road trip, the towtruck came and towed it out of our driveway. It was as if we were ushering out the old and the Lord was saying “Ready, set, GO” for this new adventure.

If you follow our journey, you’ve heard the “One Hundred Dollar Bill” story.

You’ll never guess how the new owner felt led to pay for the RV.

33 One Hundred Dollar Bills.

Here we go again. 🙂

Heidi St John Guide to Daylight

Heidi St John Firmly Planted Family Devotional For All Ages